As the storm began to intensify, an atmosphere of awkwardness and shame began to creep into the living area of the Hikigaya household. Hachiman and Hachi sat side by side while the three other girls sat together on a separate couch.

Now that Komachi was gone, things become rather stiff, as the teens exchanged a strange look on each other.

"Alright then let me begin." Anko coughed, "Anyway, the guy who slapped me was from Chiba University. No, he's not my boyfriend or anything, really."

"Oh."

"I told him, I don't want to be with him anymore. He just keeps pestering me and wanted me to be his girlfriend even though he's dating someone else."

"He told me he will do anything, even breaking up with his current girlfriend, and I told him to fuck off. He freaked out and slapped me on impulse, and then..."

"Kawasaki decked his face." Hachiman finished it for her when Anko hesitated and gulped.

"So yeah, I have a couple sex friends." Anko said, "I cut them off, all of them."

Hachi and Hachiman noticed that Anko didn't mention if she had anyone in Soubu high. Perhaps it was coincidence, or perhaps it's deliberate. They wouldn't know if they don't ask.

"It's okay, An-chan." Benio patted her.

"I think you did the right thing, Mihashira." Hachi said, "I don't condone cheating, and I despise cheater, and I honestly feel disgusted that you would sleep with him. But you did the right thing. Because above all else, you stand on your principle and he didn't."

"Is that so? I slept with him with full knowledge he had a girlfriend though."

"And you feel bad about that."

Anko faked a grin, "You're joking, right? Why should I-"

Hachiman rolled his eyes aside, "That's literally the face of a girl who tried to convince herself that she did nothing wrong and fail."

Anko's tears were rather telling, even though she tried hard to stop it.

"An-chan don't want to sleep with someone's boyfriend right?" Chisato smirked, "In that case, what I'm doing was much more despicable anyway."

"Oh really? At least you stick to people of your age." Anko snapped, "Have you slept with a teacher before?"

"Err, no, but that besides the point." Chisato winced, it was true that, while Chisato had far more numerous paramour than Anko did, all of them were of her own age.

"An-chan, did you fall in love with someone?" Benio asked.

Anko looked away, hiding her reddened, embarrassed face. "It was a new teacher in my old elementary school that I saw in a reunion party. I've slept with him several times, and then... he told me he wanted to end it because he's getting engaged to his childhood friend that he secretly loved for a long time."

"Oh..." Benio and Chisato grimaced.

"It was early in the summer." Anko told them, "And then I realized that... things are just not as enjoyable anymore. No matter who I slept with, I feel empty. I cut off my relationship with all my sex friends, and the guy who hit me was the last one."

"If nothing else, you did well to reject that creep." Hachiman took a sip of his thick, sugary coffee. "It sounds to me that he's too dependent on you emotionally. In the long run, it will hurt you, even more, to rely on onesided attraction."

"Senpai..."

"Is that why you removed your glasses?" Chisato asked.

"Yup, no random girls confessing to me out of the blue." Hachiman confidently answered. "I mean, if they're scared of my eyes, then that means it's not true love at all."

When Hachiman glared at them, the three of them actually froze from shock.

"See, it works." Hachiman huffed proudly.

"This guy might look pathetic but he had an absurdly high standard." Hachi pointed, "Even though he's a virgin."

Hachiman chummed calmly, "Pot meet kettle bitch."

"So in other words, Anko decided to stop having sex friends." Hachi re-railed back the conversation to the important direction. "Are you sure that's fine?"

"Why are you asking me that now?" Anko asked in disbelief.

"I might not like to befriend someone who sleeps with other girl's boyfriend." Hachi said, "But it's not like you hate sex or anything right? What if you had, well, urges."

"I'll be fine." Anko puffed her cheek and wiped her eyes with a tissue, "At the very least, I don't think I want to sleep with anyone for a while."

"That's awfully mature of you," Hachiman commented drily.

He might hate those kinds of easy girls, but he at least can appreciate honesty. These girls, they're still sixteen, they still have a long way to go.

They have more chance to get themselves sorted out than Hachiman himself.

"Well, I guess it's my turn then." Chisato took a deep breath, "The reason why I feel uneasy is that I thought I was pregnant."

Hachi almost dropped her cup while the other two girls dropped their jaw. Hachiman calmly took a sip of his coffee again but screaming internally as he did.

"You see, I really hate doing it with a rubber on, and both Hachi and you two knew that I always use morning-after pill, so..."

"Recently my period wasn't coming so I panicked. I bought a test kit and the result was negative, but I'm not entirely convinced and decided to visit a gynecologist and found I wasn't pregnant."

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, that was one massive, life-throwing accident out of the way.

"That was my reaction too, at first I was relieved, then something else came out." Chisato's trembling hand was stopped by Benio and Anko.

"I began to think, what if I do get pregnant? What would I do? Should I keep it? Should I abort it? Who is the father? What would I do if I keep it? What do I feel if I were to keep it?" Chisato asked.

"I'm so scared." Chisato said in anguish, "I'm so scared that no matter what I do, there will be consequences to my own actions and I'm afraid to face it."

Honestly something like this absolutely revolting to Hachiman, someone who didn't put any thoughts before she did something reckless and insane, but even so, it's not as if he didn't share the same sentiment.

He used to think, until a few days ago, that maybe everything bad that happened, it was his fault and that his existence was unneeded. That's why he avoids connecting with anyone.

But in the end, Hachiman was simply running away. Hachiman doesn't want to think about it, that he might be responsible for some fuckups that cannot be fixed.

"It was disgusting for me to think that way, right, Senpai?" Chisato asked weakly.

"That's not true at all." Anko told her, "Even I wouldn't know what to do if I get pregnant."

"Ditto." Benio said, "What about you, Hacchan?"

Hachi just mysteriously smiled.

"I don't know how is that possible, but if there's some freak chance of me getting pregnant, I think I'll keep it," Hachi said confidently.

"E-even if you have to quit school?" Chisato asked, seemingly not believing her. "You want to be civil servant right? That's your dream... after all."

"Rather than wondering about what might happen in the future, you will always have to face what happened in the present." Hachiman said coldly, "The baby in your stomach isn't going to disappear just because you stopped thinking about its existence."

"All the more reason I will keep it." Hachi said, "Having a baby means I am blessed with the privilege to carry one."

For some reason, the three girls sensed an underlying pain in has joyful statement. They wondered, how could Hachi replied with so much conviction in her voice like that.

Even Hachiman seemingly surprised by her answer, there was not a single shred of doubt in Hachi's statement.

That she will keep that baby no matter what.

And Hachiman knew she wasn't joking.

"But that's just me. Everyone has their own answers." Hachi raised both hands cheerily, "Mind you, this is a scenario that I actually give a deep thought."

Ah.

Hachiman won't pretend to understand Hachi or anything, but that sounds perfectly Hachi, alright. During the transition surgery and therapy, Hachi might actually have to consider such possibilities.

Because Hachi and Hachiman used to be similar, if not exact same type of person, they think too much about what could happen.

"What about you, Hikigaya-Senpai?" Anko hesitantly asked.

"I don't think men can get pregnant yet, so I can't objectively answer that yet. OW!" Hachiman dodged the topic immediately like a master with a shit-eating grin, and this made Hachi annoyed and kicked the side of his face.

"You coward." Hachi buried her heel on his cheek angrily.

"Shut up, I can't answer something I cannot even imagine." Hachiman twisted her foot and made her yelp from the pain, and fell off the sofa, clenching her ankles.

"OWWW."

"What about us? Do you hate someone who sleeps around like that?"

"Of course I do. But does it really matter?" Hachiman evasively asked back, trying to soothe out the impact a little bit. "I'm pretty sure there are boys out there that would prefer experienced partners and nymphomaniacs."

"You're just trying to comfort me so please stop." Anko covered her face with her hands, embarrassed.

"You don't have to sugarcoat it, Senpai." Chisato released a deep sigh.

"Why the hell I should? You bitches aren't my friends or anything." Hachiman grinned mercilessly, "Over three billions men in the world, I'm sure you'll find one eventually."

"Don't listen to him, he's fucking stupid." Hachi pointed, face still down on the carpet, and Hachiman twisted her leg again. "AAAAAAH!"

"Disregard what we boys thought about it." Hachiman jibed, "At the end of the day, the value of your body is only for you girls to decide."

The three of them blinked, and then laughed in response to his statement. It was the corniest thing he ever heard from men, and yet, those pretentious words touched them deeply in their hearts.

"Wha do you mean with that, Senpai?" Chisato jumped off the sofa and prodded him on his cheek, "With this kind of appearance, we can only be seen that way."

"Don't shove your value down my mouth, that's disgusting." Hachiman glared at her. "Do you dress like that because you want to be judged, or do you want to dress like that because you like it?"

Chisato became pale for a moment and took a step back, avoiding his eyes. Chisato honestly don't feel like she had answers for that.

"...I'm not sure if it's the answer you're expecting. Maybe it's a bit of both?" Chisato embarrassedly scratched her cheek, "I like colors and prefer to use as many colors as I can but well... I can deny that it does help giving me an image of a bad girl. But if I want to stop being a bad girl, should I change my appearance as well?"

"Is that a question that someone else had to answer?" Hachiman pointed.

Chisato became quiet and returned back to where she sits. She will have to give it much thought.

"No one asked me?" Benio pointed herself.

Anko pointed, "You're just mistaken for one because you kept hanging with us."

"I like hanging out with you two, though." Benio twiddled her thumbs, "It's always fun listening to your stories."

"But we're now in shambles, and likely running out of stories to tell anyway." Chisato closed her eyes, seemingly regretful. "Good girls like you should not hang out with us anymore."

"Good girl?" Benio popped some veins, "Isn't that just label you put on me?"

"...Even if we ask you, you're from an honorable family, you're well behaved, you have high grades, and never go to seedy places. Besides you're still a virgin." Anko recited.

"No matter how you spell it, you're just normal high school girl." Chisato agreed.

"Do you know what I'm doing with these stories you tell me?" Benio asked seriously.

"...You used it as side dish*?" Anko and Chisato guessed, "No we don't mind about it."

Hachi and Hachiman both fell off their seats, Hachiman just quietly spasmed holding his laughter while Hachi rolling around screaming her lungs out. Just how far they're going to take this conversation?

"I'm fucking dying." Hachi screamed hysterically, "Kurotsuki is the lewdest of all!"

Hachiman muttered, "Just kill me already."

"Look, I'm sure those guys did it too." Anko pointed on the hysterical twins on the floor, "Though probably not as often as you did. To have that urge to think about people that you actually know personally and then release the pent-up stress to their images isn't that uncommon."

"No, you didn't understand." Benio said, "At some point, I would do it deliberately, as loud as I could, to spite my parents. And then I would show them my satisfied face."

Hachi and Hachiman both stopped, and they calmed down as the atmosphere became heavier once again. They returned back to their couch and listened intently.

"One time, my father rudely rummaged through my belongings, and he found absolutely nothing. Perhaps he hoped, that if he found something, then he could blame me and lash out his anger."

"He never found anything, and I never let him live it down. And then, at some point, he threw a temper tantrum. My mother blamed on me, said she never raised someone as lustful and dirty as I am."

"I told them that I was exactly the perfect daughter they raised. Someone academically excellent, talented in many crafts and arts, and more than ready to sleep with any men they choose for me as my future husband."

"Future husband, you mean..." Anko held her mouth to hide her shock.

"It's exactly as it sounded." Benio smiled, "My family was so ass-backward that the other rich families would insult them behind their back. Subscribing to outdated values and tradition, they were basically the nineteenth century Japanese struck in the modern age, unable to adapt and let go what they believe was right."

"I never realized how much it hurt them both that the daughter they raised had turned herself into something like that." Benio shed her tears, "That they carved a doll so well that it fits the mold they made."

"When I said that to them, I was lashing out my repressed anger and frustration. But it's been weeks since then, and we're still awkward to each other." Benio said, "But I know if I apologize beforehand, they would just return to their old way and nothing would change."

Benio looked at her two friends and smiled sadly, "As you can see, I'm only using you both as means to my revenge, and now that I accomplished it, I... don't think I can do it anymore either. I'm sorry, An-chan and Chi-chan. I'm not actually a good girl at all."

"This friendship between us three, it was really fucked up huh." Chisato rubbed her eyes, "Can we even call that friendship ?"

"When you put it like that, our relationship seriously unhealthy. I wonder... should we stop seeing each other for a while?" Anko pondered as well.

"I don't want to do that." Benio shook her head, "You guys are the only thing I have now."

Hachiman idly stood up, then wickedly grinned, as if he didn't feel anything when he heard their explanation. "Are you trying to fish some pity? You ain't getting shit from me. You want someone to cheer you up? Forget it."

"Hachiman, shut up," Hachi grabbed his collar, seriously itching to punch him.

While she appreciated his honesty, sometimes, he did it too much, and it loops back to being a gigantic lie that would hurt people around him because, for a Hikigaya, kindness is born of cruelty. But even Hachi knew there was a line to draw.

やはり, 俺の関係の値はリセットされました
As Expected, My Relationship Values had been Reset

Disclaimer:

Original Story by Watari Wataru

Chapter 13 - During the Storm

Both Hachiman and Hachi glared at each other with similarly frightening dead-fish eyes, Chisato actually terrified and Anko at least a little bit disturbed.

"Please don't fight."

Benio was actually the only one unaffected and tried to stop Hachi.

"Someone told me this in the past," Hachiman said as he reminiscing himself, of Yukino's words that she told him. "If it ends, you can just start all over again."

"If you made any mistake, then repent, if you misunderstood, then try to get an explanation, just because you feel guilty about something doesn't make you stop being a victim. Sometimes, it's not always you who should carry a blame for your problems."

Or at least, Hachiman think the old Yukino would say that.

Yeah, definitely. Not like him to make up all these sweet, naive shit by his own mind.

"Even so, if you refuse to change, then your problem will never go away."

Hachi slowly let's go his collar and blushed. Perhaps she judged him too hastily and now feel embarrassed, "...You're right. I'm sorry."

"Kurotsuki-san... wasn't it?" Hachiman said, "Do you still feel angry at your parents?"

"No, I think I'm not. Or maybe not as much and it doesn't matter anymore. Have you felt like that before, Nii-sama?"

"Of course I do," Hachiman said, "Before this weird labor enforcement law comes into action, my parents often come very late. The only time I ever saw them is on weekends, and they spend their time sleeping."

"And sometimes I slam the door hard purposely to wake them up." Hachiman chuckled, "It seems harmless at first glance, but from the point of view of someone who lacked sleep all week, can you imagine how hurtful it was to be treated like that by your own son?"

"...Ah yeah, that makes sense."

Sometimes, when it comes to the relationship between family members, it was the smallest thing that hurt the most. Much like their parental ignorance hurt Hachiman, his defiance against them might hurt them more than he thinks.

"I'm not telling you to make up with them right away." Hachiman patted her gently, feeling like a big brother for a moment. "Being resentful toward your parents is alright, but don't let that hate fester in your mind. Because you simply don't know when you might lose them."

Just like Hachiman lost his own.

And that's why he decided to treasure his current parents, even when they didn't give birth to him or raised him, their effort to connect and normalize their relationship with him has paid off.

Without them, it would be impossible for Hachiman to adapt to this new and alien world.

"I understand when Nii-sama put it that way." Benio happily smiled.

Chisato twitched slightly, "...Beni-tan never smiled that bright before, didn't she?"

"Don't tell me she had a crush on him," Anko whispered.

"No, you're wrong." Benio defied, as she held his hand on her head lovingly. "I feel like I'm having an actual big brother now. Hacchan, do you mind?"

"I don't really mind, we're exactly same age so it's hard to think of him as anyone but an equal." Hachi winked, "Komachi might get jealous though."

"Bitch, I'm technically your senpai, where's my respect." Hachiman arrogantly pointed.

"Fuck off." Hachi replied with two middle fingers.

"But still, I don't know, what kind of change we should do." Anko leaned back on the sofa, thoughtful.

All this time, Anko, Chisato, and Benio identified themselves as generic bad girls and class reject. And now, they're no longer comfortable with the label that they themselves put on.

It wouldn't be that easy to change the impression, both to themselves, as well as to people around them...

"It's alright." Hachi approached her and Chisato and grasped their shoulders confidently, "Let's start with Culture festival, do something to change your impression, and then there's sports festival and midterms to look upon in October."

"Midterms huh." Chisato nodded, "I guess we need to start getting serious about our grades then."

"Agreed." Anko also nodded, "Hacchan, would you mind helping us?"

Hachi always knew that both Anko and Chisato had that potential to get better grades, perhaps even better than Hachi's own. Nevertheless, Hachi was happy that even someone like them could rely on her.

"Of course, Fujisawa will definitely help if you ask." Hachi grinned, "And in return, you can teach her how to seduce his molasses of a boyfriend."

"Fujisawa... the girl in glasses, Secretary of the student council?" Hachiman asked. "Your close friend huh."

"Yep! And the boyfriend is the treasurer and my gaming buddy. Fujisawa routinely gets top rank in exams and great at teaching people as well."

Ah, that super handsome nice guy with bangs. Hachiman remembered seeing him often since Hachiman is the Vice Chairman of the committee now.

"Well, let's just put that one aside for the moment and focus on the Cultural festival first." Hachiman said, "I'm working had in the committee, so I hope you girls can pack some epic surprise."

"Leave it to us, Senpai." Chisato pumped up her fists, while Anko simply gave a grunt of acknowledgment.

Hachi threw him her bedroom key and smiled, "For tonight, my room is all yours so you may use it to your heart's content."

"Yeah." Hachiman said as he raised a book, "I still haven't finished Zaimokuza's novella properly. I'm very sure he can appreciate an extra feedback too."

"Knock yourself out, we're going to have an epic sleepover in your room instead." Hachi poked his back, "Are you sure you don't want to join, Hachiman? There are four single girls here being lonely you know."

"Fuck off. I have a potential bromance to deal with at the moment." Hachiman cackled madly in response.

"Awww, I'm sure Ebina-senpai would be happy about that. Maybe I should text her."

"Hah, I wonder."

Even Ebina Hina probably had a limit to her yaoi fetish, and surely she would be jealous.

Because this storm, Hachiman, and Hachi didn't go to Renaissance gym as usual. Hachiman had at least extra three or four hours free time for him to finish reading the book and maybe some analysis before he went to sleep.

He put a bunch of essay papers and then began writing.

Deep into the novella, Hachiman felt so engrossed by it. It wasn't perfect works by any means, but the book sure was worthy of the newbie award granted to it.

Hachiman wished he was there, he could just imagine Zaimokuza's stupid grin, or maybe whiny tears when he received the award.

And when he was done, it was almost half-past ten, and when he removed the earphones he plugged in his ears to block out noises, he could hear that the storm just getting more intense as time passes.

Wonder if classes will be canceled tomorrow if the weather remains this intense. Hell, what about committee work?

Maybe he should call Yukinoshita tomorrow, depends on the situation of course.

He heard a knock on the front door, "Hachiman, can you open the door?"

"It's unlocked."

"I see." Hachi opened it and smiled, "Want to drink another cup of coffee? Everyone already asleep but I can't."

"Well, our ears are sensitive, hard to sleep with the weather being this loud." Hachiman said as he stood up, "How about we just have a cup of tea? We don't know when the storm will subside tomorrow."

"Pfttt, you're the one being responsible for proper sleeping schedule now?" Hachi snorted.

"Hey, I'm the Vice Chairman after all."

They both went to the poorly lit dining room, with just a small light illuminating it to conserve power, it sounded less eerie than it could be described.

If anything, it feels like tranquility in the middle of a storm.

In half-darkness, the twin-pretends sat side by side, with steaming tea in front of them.

"Hachiman, thank you."

"Hmm? For what?"

"For listening to my friends, and helping them."

"I don't think I did that much if anything." Hachiman said, "Besides, it would be up to you to help them from today and onwards. I have my own issues to take care of."

"Even so, thank you." Hachi said heartfully, "I was never especially close with these three, but I still hold them important. Because like Isshiki, they were the first one to acknowledge my existence in the school."

"I see." Hachiman smiled, "They might be sluts, but they sure are nice girls."

"One of them is your type?"

"Hell no."

"Ah, I see." Hachi said, "Your type is the cool, mature and confident virgins huh."

"Doesn't have to be virgin." Hachiman clarified, after all, God knows how many men Hiratsuka-sensei slept with. "But she can't be a slut either, I would feel too intimidated."

That was a half-joke answer.

...Incidentally, doesn't that also describe Hachi herself?

Hachiman didn't notice it until recently, but... for some reason he wonders. If Hachi also admired Hiratsuka-sensei as much as himself, if not more so...

Hachi changed herself to be a girl like Hiratsuka?

Of course, the result is not at all identical. But still, perhaps they do fill the same archetype.

"You know, I haven't told you the reason why I insist that if I got pregnant, I would carry it through matter what." Hachi said, "Do you want to know why?"

"Not especially, I'm very sure you have a good reason." Hachiman said, "Unless you want to specifically tell me that is."

"Even as someone who born intersex, I could still get pregnant like normal girls and give birth to healthy babies." Hachi mustered, "But it won't be easy."

"Ah..."

"As someone who suffered hormone imbalance, it's just natural that I have lower fertility rate. So getting pregnant in the first place is hard enough."

"Is that why you said you will keep it no matter what?"

"Not just that. getting pregnant is hard, but carrying it into birth is even harder." Hachi said, "My hormonal and physiological anatomy and function will need to be monitored carefully, every day, every week that passed will be a grueling battle of life and death that involves my own well being, and one mistake on my part could cost either of us dearly."

"You... don't need to do it, do you?" Hachiman said, "A lot of women decide not to have kids for some reason."

"I know." Hachi said, "But after I undergo surgery, I'm thinking, it would be a waste if I didn't push myself and do that. Because it's a chance in a lifetime, something that I could only experience as a girl, not a boy."

All this time Hachi being obsessed with her schedules, activities, and even nutritional intake... it was forged for that very important moment. To prepare herself for the future motherhood.

At times like this, where Hikigaya Hachi shows her strong and unbreakable resolve, he always thought she was amazingly beautiful, sensual, desirable.

And it sickened him to feel so.

"But let alone getting pregnant, I can't even get a boyfriend to save my dignity." Hachi faked some tears and bawled quietly, "Uuuuu."

He let out a long sigh, "You still loved Saika huh?"

"Of course I do. Just how long do you think I am pursuing him? Six, fucking, months. There's no way can forget him in just five weeks." Hachi pouted, "Hey, Hachiman, I have a request."

"Hum? What is it."

She awkwardly shifts her sitting position, so now she could face him, "Just for tonight, please make me forget about him."

She said that with a blush on her confident and eager face.

And then her hands reach for his shoulders, they were shivering in both fear and anticipation.

She closed her eyes.

He didn't know what has gotten into her head, perhaps it was the lingering excitement and curiosity from the conversation she held with the other girls, perhaps it was fear and uncertainty about her personal worth as a girl because she was rejected by Saika.

Perhaps she was just as sexually attracted to him as he did to her, partly due to genetics and partly due to similar upbringing, personality, and interests.

All that he knew that this is far and away from romantic. It was disgustingly rotten and unhealthy attraction that they shared.

But he felt like he wanted to indulge it, even just for a second.

Their lips touched, lightly pressed and brushed against each other.

It was uncomfortably warm, dry, tasteless, and all around unpleasant. And yet, Hachiman could only felt a sense of weird accomplishment, instead of pure undistilled disappointment.

Then Hachi pulled him deeper, and sensation of wetness began to creep in. Hachiman feel it much stronger than the one before. And it wasn't half as bad. So he hold her tighter in return.

Hachi certainly felt it enough deep inside, to turn red as a tomato when she backed off and opened her eyes.

"...We did it." She whimpered, "Goddamnit, I feel so gross."

He flicked her forehead angrily in response, "Of course it's gross, you idiot. Let's just pretend nothing happened."

Hachiman blushed hard himself, though not as much as she did. Nevertheless, both of them were too distraught to admit that they secretly enjoyed the thrill.

And so, they decide not to speak of it and took their separate way upstairs, and go to sleep as quickly as they could.

He shouldn't really expect better. For some reason, his body and mind weren't in the same rhythm. Too many things happened today and he was both physically and mentally exhausted.

This weirdly narcissistic semi-incestuous experiment he had, he will never forget it for the rest of his life.

Even his first kiss with a girl was fucked up as expected.

* Okazu. I'm pretty sure it doesn't need much imagination to know what euphemism it was for. A.k.a. masturbation material.