Chapter 22: Chapter 22-The Betrayal

Part II

The Betrayal

The five-paneled painting made Lucy pause on her way out of the office. Faded beams of sunlight gave the room a subtle golden glow, which, somehow, made the stars appear brighter as her eyes drifted across the canvas. A lot of paintings seemed to depict the night as a dark void with bits of pale starlight. However, this painting captured exactly what Lucy saw when she looked up into the night sky. There were electric blues, vibrant streaks of purples, swirls of greens and reds, sparkling trails of gold and silver stardust and stars of every color. The image reminded her of another time—a time before she came to the city. Lucy had spent many hours staring at the night depicted in the painting, picking out her favorite constellations among the madness of color to calm her mind if work became too overwhelming. Now, as she stared at the painting, her thoughts went across the sea, wondering if the man who had created such a masterpiece was somewhere staring at the night sky too.

It had been three weeks since Lucy had left Italy, returning to New York and her familiar routine. Three weeks of normalcy after the nightmare she had lived through in order to save Gray from the horrors of the Mafia Underworld. Despite the trauma he had undergone in Italy, Gray had decided to remain there, staying by Juvia's side as she recovered from the injuries she had received saving his life. For the past five years, even though their own schedules kept them pretty busy, Gray had always been just within reach. It was strange knowing her best friend was now in a completely different country and that that was no longer the case.

Lucy and Gray had finally been able to Skype last weekend and he had told her that Juvia had recovered enough to be moved to a villa in Tuscany. The two of them were there, enjoying the peace they both desperately needed. From the sound of things, it wasn't just Juvia's physical wounds that were healing. It seemed Gray's scarred heart was healing as well.

"I'll see you both again," Lucy whispered as she turned away from the painting, smiling as she remembered the promise she had made with Juvia. Even though she was sad that Gray wasn't in the same city as her, Lucy didn't feel lonely. She picked up the pink duffle bag at her feet and left her office.

After a quick goodbye to Virgo, Lucy headed to the elevator. The doors started to close as she approached and she picked up her pace, her heels clicking on the floor.

"Hold the door!" She called out, but the doors closed shut right as Lucy reached them. Darn it, she thought, sighing while reaching for the call button. The elevator doors slid open again before she could push the button and a pink haired woman with wide brown eyes popped her head out.

"Aries?"

Aries was one of the co-directors of the children's publishing department. She was a kind and gentle soul—the sweetest person Lucy knew. Aries had a medical condition that required her to work from home a lot. It had been a great surprise returning from Italy to find that Aries was back at the office again.

"Sorry, ma'am!" Aries apologized as Lucy stepped into the elevator. "I should have pressed the button sooner. You must be in a hurry and I might have delayed you—"

"Aries, it's fine. Don't worry about it. I'm in no rush at all," Lucy assured, trying to calm her, but it took the whole elevator ride down for Aries to feel like she had apologized enough. Lucy had long since given up trying to get Aries to stop apologizing for things entirely, so she didn't even bother trying to stop her. Aries tended to be an extremely apologetic person. She would apologize for things that weren't even her fault. Once during a meeting, Lucy had burnt her tongue drinking coffee and it was Aries who had apologized constantly for it. That's exactly how Aries was. Always thinking about others no matter the situation at hand.

"I'm so glad we're leaving at the same time. It's hard to talk about anything other than work during the day," Aries said, as they both stepped out of the elevator, and made their way to the exit. "I'm sorry! I'm not complaining about all the work. I really love my job and I could talk about work all day. I just meant that it's nice to talk about other things too."

"Don't worry, I agree with you. We have so many projects going on in all the departments it's about to become a little overwhelming, but it's also really exciting. We just won the bids for several new manuscripts and the winter line up is looking great. This could be our best year yet!" Lucy beamed.

"It is exciting! I'll be able to spend more time in the office working with everyone. The new medication my doctor prescribed me is making me feel a lot stronger. I missed seeing you guys every day." Aries placed her hand over her heart as she spoke, an unconscious tick every time she spoke about her illness. She had told Lucy that she had a heart disease in the past, and even with the surgery to eradicate it, her heart was still weak. Despite her illness, Aries never once complained about it or used it as an excuse. She always completed her work on time and even asked to handle more projects. Aries was an invaluable employee and Lucy was glad to hear she was growing stronger.

"That's wonderful Aries!" Lucy said, then stopped suddenly struck by an idea. "What do you think about me throwing a party for everyone at the office?"

"A party?"

"Yeah. I think you're right. All we do is talk about work and before the winter season hits us, I think it would be a good idea to throw a party for everyone where we don't talk about work at all. We can relax and reenergize before we're all scrambling around to make deadlines. I can rent out a space and have it catered. Maybe look into getting some type of entertainment. I know we have our annual Christmas party, but it would be nice to just celebrate the team in general. Everyone has been working really hard and you guys deserve it. What do you think?"

"That sounds like a great idea!" Aries agreed, smiling with enthusiasm.

"Great! I'll bring it up during Monday's meeting and we can all start brainstorming some ideas and figure out the date," Lucy said, holding the door open for Aries to walk through.

"I can't wait! I'll think of some ideas over the weekend. Oh!" Aries eyes widened in alarm, as she retreated from the exit. "I forgot the manuscripts I wanted to take home and look over this weekend. I'm sorry Lucy. I have to go back up to my office."

"It's the weekend. You've worked so hard already. Take these couple days to relax. I'm sure your boss won't mind," Lucy joked, but Aries was already retreating to the elevator.

"I'm sorry! Have a good weekend Lucy!" Aries yelled over her shoulder before Lucy could persuade her to do otherwise. With a sigh, Lucy stepped out of the building.

Looking around her, Lucy took in the familiar sights and sounds of the city. It was just after 4pm and New Yorkers were spilling out of the tall skyscrapers crowded together, heading home or out with friends for a night of adventure. Now that she was back home, there was no need to look over her shoulder when she walked down the streets. It was unnecessary for fear to bubble up inside of her when someone stopped her to ask for directions. Lucy could continue on with her life and leave that nightmare behind her. Besides Gray not being here, everything was normal again. Almost.

Through the stream of bodies, Lucy spotted him instantly, his shock of pink hair always standing out against his usual black attire. Leaning against a car, Natsu stared off to the side. His dark shades hid his eyes, so there was no telling what he was looking at. As she watched him, she felt the usual stirrings in her heart ever since Natsu had entered her life. He was mysterious, intense, safe yet dangerous and so many more things all at the same time. He promised so much, but revealed so little about himself. Gray's warning still echoed in the back of her mind, but after Natsu had worked so hard to save him, to save her, Lucy had decided to follow her heart and trust him.

"You know, I can just meet you there. You don't need to pick me up every day. People might get the wrong idea," Lucy said when she stood in front of him. He was still looking away from her, but the hard line of his mouth tilted up into his signature smirk before he spoke.

"Oh?" He turned to her then, lifting his shades so she could see the humor dancing in his dark eyes. "What idea would that be?" Natsu leaned in, his closeness making her heart skip. "Besides, how are you so sure it's wrong?"

Lucy felt the heat go to her cheeks. She slammed her duffle bag against him, but since the contents were merely a change of clothes, it didn't provide the necessary impact she wanted. "N-Nevermind. Forget I said anything."

Natsu just laughed as he caught her duffle bag, his shades falling back over his eyes. He walked to the trunk and tapped it with his knuckle. A moment later, it popped open and he placed her pink duffle bag next to his standard black one already placed in the back. It wasn't the same one Gray had accidentally taken back in Italy. Natsu hadn't wanted it back, which was a good thing. Gray had told Lucy the technology inside of it had short-circuited and fried completely. Everything inside of the bag had been ruined. Natsu hadn't seemed bothered by that at all, shrugging the news off. He had already bought a replacement one and moved on. Luckily, Gray got his bag back without any issues.

"You're exhausting." She sighed, rubbing her temples.

"You remind me every night," Natsu said and opened the car door for her. Even though she knew exactly what he meant, the seductive way he said those words made her blush deepen. Lucy ducked into the car to hide her embarrassment as her thoughts ran away from her.

Ever since they had returned from Italy, Natsu had stayed by her side. Having him here had brought a comfort to Lucy in these past three weeks. That first night back, both of them had relived horrors they would rather forget. Natsu had returned back to his regular self the next morning, and Lucy had thought she was fine too. The daylight kept the dark memories of the Underworld at bay, but the night let loose the haunting moments that had terrorized her in Italy. When she had tried to sleep, her dreams were plagued with ferocious wolves chasing her and her friends. She had to watch as the wolves devoured everyone she loved, one by one. Every night, it was the same dream. It reminded her how weak she had been and how easily the Mafia wolves had almost taken everything away.

Natsu wouldn't say anything when her screams of terror woke him up. He would come into her room and hold her until she stopped shaking. Only with him there, could she drift off into a dreamless sleep. He had helped her similarly, when Lucy's trauma from five years ago had resurfaced—although, his sudden departure had been the trigger for it. His presence seemed to burn the fear away, like some part of her subconsciously knew that there was nothing to fear when he was there. Yet, after the first week of nothing but nightmares, Lucy hadn't been able to take it anymore. She didn't want that nightmare ruling over her. Lucy had to face her fears and to do that, she needed Natsu's help.

The nightmare was stemming from the realization of her weakness. If she got stronger, if she knew she had gained the power to defeat the wolves and protect her friends, then, hopefully, the nightmare would go away. It was this reasoning that had compelled Lucy to turn to Natsu one night and ask him to teach her how to fight. She thought he would refuse, but in the darkness, he had quietly agreed to help her. Natsu had picked her up from work the next day, but instead of going back to her apartment, he had instructed his driver to take them somewhere else.

It was this place that the driver pulled up to now—an eight story building, the outside nothing but gleaming windows. It was here that Natsu had taken Lucy to help her overcome her fears. The place the two of them had visited every day since. Above the entrance to the building, a sign was held up by a statue of a man, the words reading: Atlas Effort.

Atlas Effort was a gym, fully equipped with workout equipment for all types of gym junkies. The company prided itself for being able to adhere to the needs of any type of fitness activity. If there was a machine it was lacking or a class that wasn't offered that a member wanted to take, simply fill out a form and Atlas Effort would see to it that that error was corrected. Lucy had come here occasionally with Levy to take a yoga class or entertain one of the latest fitness fads Levy had read about. One time they had tried a glow-in-the-dark hip hop cycling class. Lucy and Levy had left that class with jelly for legs.

The gym took up the whole building, all eight floors simply dedicated to all forms of fitness. On the first floor were the administrative offices, the Atlas Effort apparel store, locker rooms, pool rooms, and a food court stocked with healthy and nutritious food selections.

"I'll meet you up there," Lucy said after they had signed in, heading for the women's locker room to change. She fished out her key from her duffle bag and unlocked her locker. She stripped out of her work attire, dressing in her black leggings and hot pink tank top. Lacing up her tennis shoes, Lucy then swept her hair into a ponytail, before locking all of her belongings away.

The seventh floor housed a multitude of specialty rooms. These rooms could be reserved, for a fee, and filled with any equipment specified on the reservation form. Natsu had reserved a room on this floor for them and had it equipped with the specific equipment needed for Lucy's training. In the center of the room was a smaller version of a standard boxing ring. Treadmills, ellipticals, and cycling bikes faced one wall where a giant TV was mounted—a random movie playing across the screen. The opposite wall was nothing but mirrors with gym mats laid out in front of it. Positioned in front of the back wall were various weights and dozens of machines Lucy had never used before.

On their first day here, Natsu had told Lucy he would train her how to properly defend herself in order for her to start conquering her fears. "You're afraid because you fear the Mafia wolves will capture you again. I'll teach you how to make sure that never happens."

Entering the room, Lucy saw that Natsu was already inside the boxing ring, going through a set of stretches. His workout attire consisted of sweats and a tight short-sleeved shirt—all black of course. She climbed into the ring and stood next to him, beginning her usual stretches as well, limbering up her sore muscles before she put them through another Natsu styled workout routine. From the corner of her eye, she couldn't help but notice the well-defined muscles of his physique as he stretched them. Lucy forced her eyes to look straight ahead, ignoring the ache in her fingertips to reach out and touch them.

"Okay, you're good," Natsu declared after ten minutes of stretching. He climbed down from the ring and went over to the treadmill, messing with the settings. "We'll start with thirty minutes on the treadmill to get your heart rate up."

Lucy looked around at the room at all the unused equipment before frowning at the treadmill. It seemed all she ever did were workouts that centered around cardio. Natsu had been training her for two weeks, but all Lucy knew was how to run. Being able to not wheeze after the end of a thirty minute jog was her only development so far. How was that going to protect her? How was that going to make her stronger?

"Fine." She climbed down from the ring and went to the treadmill. She placed the earbuds in her ears, the sounds of the movie coming through as she started jogging on the treadmill with Natsu running on the machine next to her. She tried focusing on the movie in front of her, filling her mind with the images and sounds, in order to drown out her frustrations. She still knew nothing about how to properly defend herself. If she were ever going to get over this fear, she couldn't afford to be weak anymore. She wanted to be stronger. If she ever had to face the wolves of the Mafia again, she wanted to be ready

Natsu leaned over to read the screen on her machine where it indicated how long she had run, what her heart rate was and the calories she had burned so far. The timer designated she had five minutes left on the treadmill. Natsu added another thirty minutes and increased the incline on the machine, forcing Lucy to run harder.

"Enough already!" Lucy yanked out the earbuds and glared at Natsu as he looked at her, confused.

"What? You were obviously having no difficulty with that incline. You're barely sweating or out of breath. It's all a part of your training."

"That's not what I'm talking about, Natsu." Lucy kept running as she spoke to him, the steeper incline making her breathing more labored. "How is this training? You haven't been teaching me anything!"

"I am teaching you something."

"For the past two weeks, all you've ever let me use are these three machines." She motioned to the elliptical and the cycling machines to her left. "If I'm lucky, I get to use the leg weights; but if I'm not doing something revolving around cardio, you have me meditate while you blast who-knows-what-type of chaotic music you pick. How is any of this training?" She jabbed the power button, powering off the machine. "Natsu," she angrily panted. "None of this is making me feel like I might win against them. I want to be stronger! I want to know how to fight, so I can protect everyone. I want the strength that you have, so I don't have to be afraid anymore!

Natsu's eyes widened at her words before he looked away. Lucy felt her heart thundering in her chest, but she couldn't spend another night running on a treadmill again. It just felt like she was running from her fears and that wasn't solving anything. She was tired of feeling scared. She was tired of feeling so helpless.

"Get in the ring," Natsu ordered flatly, as he powered off his machine and walked over to the boxing ring, climbing into it swiftly. Lucy followed after him, excited he was finally going to teach her what she wanted to learn. She awkwardly climbed back into the ring, moving to the center where Natsu stood.

"Great. So, now what do I—" In a second, Lucy was on her back looking up at Natsu. She blinked, processing what had just happened. Did he even move? "Hey, I wasn't ready," she said, getting to her feet. "You're supposed to—" This time, Lucy saw him move. The second she was on her feet, he swiped her legs out from under her. She hit the padded floor, landing on her stomach this time. "Natsu!" She glared up at him, but his face was emotionless as he turned away from her.

Angrily, Lucy scampered to her feet, bracing herself for his next attack. He turned his back to her, a silent challenge. This made Lucy even angrier. Why was he acting like this now? She charged at him, but before she could make contact, he stepped out of her path, causing her to crash into the ropes. She whirled around, not even thinking about what she was doing as she threw herself at him again. Natsu dodged her attack, reaching out and pinning her body against his. One of his arms wrapped around her torso, forcing her back against his chest, holding one of her arms to her side at the same time. Her other arm was gripped tightly in his other hand. She squirmed against him, but his grip was solid—unbreakable.

"Okay, enough! Let me go!"

He held onto to her a moment longer, but finally released her. Lucy balled her hand into a fist and tried to punch him. He caught her fist effortlessly. She tried to punch him with her free hand, but he caught it as well.

"What are you doing?" Lucy tried to tug her hands free, but he wouldn't let go.

"I'm teaching you what you think you want to learn," Natsu replied, sweeping her legs out from under her again, falling with her as her back hit the floor. He leaned over her, his hands gripping her wrists as he held her down. Lucy tried to kick out, but his knees were on either side of her thighs, locking her in place.

"That I'm weak?! Don't you think I know that already? My nightmares are reminder enough without you having to show me." She shut her eyes, forcing the tears to not fall when she remembered her nightmares and the feeling of helplessness that came with them. "I thought you brought me here to help me—to help me get stronger!"

She thought Natsu could help her. After all, he walked through the Mafia's Underworld without any hesitation. The wolves feared him. Was this all a joke to him? He agreed to train her, but had the past two weeks just been a pretense? Was he trying to tire her out until she gave up on getting stronger?

"I am helping you. You say you want to protect others, but you can't even protect yourself."

"No, you're not helping! I don't care about protecting myself. I only care about getting stronger to help everyone else."

"You don't know the price of the strength you want," Natsu replied, a coldness to his tone that shocked her.

"Then tell me! I'm being serious, Natsu! Whatever it is, I'll pay it no matter what the cost. I'm not scared to do that! The only thing I fear is losing those that I love!" Lucy remembered Lyon's face when he had pointed his gun at Gray. "Because, if I wasn't so weak…" She saw Gold Pistol's face when he had condemned Juvia to die. "If I had fought then..."

"YOU WOULD HAVE DIED!" Natsu yelled, gripping her wrists tighter. His onyx eyes flashed with anger and his body shook slightly. Lucy laid there stunned, blinking up at him. This was the first time he had ever yelled at her. His eyes met hers and she could see a deep sadness in them mixed with pain. She stared up into his eyes, unable to look away. "That's what would have happened Lucy! You say you want the strength to protect others, but in the Underworld, that mentality isn't a strength; it's a weakness! How many times do I have to tell you? You even saw it for yourself. There are no heroes in the Underworld so stop trying to become one! You think because you're weak you might lose someone and that scares you. Well, even with all my strength I almost lost you and—"

Lucy winced, unable to hide the pain as his grip kept tightening on her wrists as he spoke. When Natsu realized he was hurting her, a horrified expression scrawled on his face. He quickly let her wrists go.

"I'm sorry," he apologized, his voice quiet. "Are you alright?" Lucy managed to nod her head, still in shock by his burst of emotion. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I shouldn't have yelled either. I just..." Natsu trailed off before moving away from her. Lucy watched him go, her eyes unable to look away from him. He leaned against the ropes of the ring, his shoulders rising and falling as he took in deep breaths to calm down. As she stared at his back, her wrists slightly ached from where his trembling fingers had gripped her.

"When I thought Gold Pistol's wolves had found you..." Natsu started after a moment, still turned away from her. "When I watched Lyon point the gun at your head…" His voice strained, like he was struggling with the words. "Just because you're strong doesn't mean you can save anyone. I have all this strength, but I wasn't capable of doing anything to help you. I never felt so powerless, so helpless before...I never felt so terrified in my life."

Natsu was...afraid? Lucy sat up, balling her trembling hands into fists at her sides. In that moment, something shifted in her perception of him. Natsu had always seemed so confident, so capable of taking on anything or anyone during that time. She stared at him, the man she believed knew nothing of fear. The man who had comforted her fears every night, had been harboring fears of his own. Lucy bit her lip as she reflected on this, feeling ashamed of herself for not noticing it sooner.

They hadn't talked about what had happened in Italy at all. They never discussed the awful events or how it had affected them. Partially because she believed Natsu already knew how she felt about everything—if the nightmares weren't enough of an indication—and she thought Natsu was used to dealing with the Mafia and none of it had bothered him. Also, Lucy didn't want to discuss it; she didn't want to relive the worst moments of her life again. She'd rather lock those memories up in a box in her mind and never open it again.

"Lucy," Natsu called out to her, his voice stronger, but still serious as he walked back to her. He kneeled down beside her, placing his hand over her fist. "Do you think a sane person could kill his own sister? Or try to kill an innocent girl in order to get revenge on someone else? Gold Pistol...The Sub-Zero Emperor...With people like that running the Underworld, you have to be willing to do whatever it takes to survive. You can't show any sign of weakness, any at all, or they'll just use it against you. Did you see any of Lyon's men coming back to rescue him? No. They just left their Boss there without another thought. You can't think about others, only yourself. To survive, you have to become just like that. That's why they're known as Mafia wolves. Nothing more than beasts. And the ones that hold their leashes are fucking monsters.

"Even if I taught you everything I knew about fighting, you would never win. You can't win against them, because you still have a heart beating in your chest. If you really want the strength to fight them that's the price you pay. The cost for that strength is your heart. Unless you can become a monster, you can't ever hope to beat one."

Lucy was surprised. All she had wanted was a way to conquer her nightmares; but she hadn't known what she was truly asking for. Although, Natsu had. He had said she didn't know the cost of the strength she wanted and he had been right. Could she really do it though? Could she really kill someone in order to save her friends? That manic hunger that she had seen so clearly in Lyon, in Sherry, in Gold Pistol, it consumed them. Their eyes clearly showed they would do whatever it took to get what they wanted. Murder included. None of them had even flinched when they threatened to take her life. She wanted to be able to protect her friends, but there was no way she could be as ruthless as the wolves that had tormented her that day. Lucy didn't want to become like them. Not now, not ever.

"I've been training you to run, because if you ever find yourself in the Underworld again without me there, that's all I want you to do. To run until I can find you. I don't want you to fight. I don't want to see you become that type of person—the type that stains her hands in blood. That's just not you." Natsu paused for a moment, frowning to himself. "But...If I'm being honest, that's not the complete truth." She felt his fingers tug at her hand. Lucy looked up with her watery eyes and saw him staring at her hand that he held in his. Natsu smiled sadly, his eyes containing an emotion she couldn't understand.

"You are reckless, and not to mention, stubborn, and weak, Lucy. Yet, as weak as you are, you stood up to Gold Pistol, to Lyon...to me." Natsu shook his head, like he couldn't believe what she had done. "You're always putting others before yourself no matter what; so imagine what you would do if I showed you how to fight? I saw for myself how self-sacrificing you are. Lucy, you can call me selfish, but," Lucy felt his fingers tremble slightly as he spoke. "I thought by training you this way—I thought I was protecting you. Because, in my mind, teaching you how to fight is the same as teaching you how to die."

He was trying to protect me? All this time I thought he was just messing with me, but…Lucy thought, unable to say anything as she listened to Natsu speak.

"I know you fear losing the people you love, but no amount of strength can ever erase that. I really wish I could reach in and take all those bad memories from you, so you wouldn't have this fear. You shouldn't have ever seen that world. I can never apologize enough for putting you through that nightmare." Natsu got to his feet, helping Lucy up after him. "But I shouldn't let my own fears, stop you from conquering yours."

"Does that mean...?" Lucy stared up at him, her tone questioning.

Natsu closed his eye, sighing before he nodded slightly. "I'll teach you the basics, so you'll at least know how to properly defend yourself."

Lucy couldn't help herself. She threw her arms around Natsu, so overcome with joy that he was going to help her. "Thank you."

She stepped back, smiling brightly at him, but Natsu looked serious as he took her hand again. His eyes met hers, and they burned with intensity. "Just promise me that you'll always keep your heart, Lucy. The strength you want isn't worth the loss of it."

Lucy held his gaze, nodding as she said, "I promise."

"Good, because," Natsu smiled weakly as he let go of her hand, the ghost of his touch still lingering as he turned from her. "I'm already enough of a monster for both of us."

Before Lucy could process what he had meant or even respond to him, Natsu had already walked away from her. He strode to the side of the ring that faced all of the weights, acting as if he were looking over the equipment. He stretched his arms above his head, before letting them drop to his sides. "How about we take ten?" He suggested, looking over his shoulder. "You should go grab some fuel from the cafeteria on the first floor. You're going to need all the energy you can get. What we've been doing lately was merely a warm-up. But when you get back," Natsu smirked at her. "We'll really heat things up."

"Yeah, that's...that's a good idea." Lucy smiled nervously before bending under the ropes and climbing down from the boxing ring. Excited, nervous, and slightly fearful of what Natsu had in store, she hurried out of the room, eager to start her real training. Before she left though, Lucy stopped at the door, looking back at Natsu, who was rubbing his neck, staring in the opposite direction.

'I'm already enough of a monster for the both of us.' Those words tugged at her heart. Was that really how Natsu saw himself? But the real question seemed to be, how did Lucy see him?