Ah ha! A fellow second generation writer! Beautiful! I love second generation.

I'd like to start with apologizing to DarkSuspense for taking so long to get this up. I've been dealing with the stress of school and the fact that I probably won't graduate...

But that's not important. We're here to judge the writing. So...without further ado...

Grammar

So, I didn't really notice anything in this area that I'm too picky about. The grammar is pretty decent. Good spelling. Good use of commas. Things are mostly capitalized when they're suppose to be so...

9/10

Plot

I think this is one of the better plots that I've read. It actually stuck with me. Not a lot of fanfictions do that these days.

So, Flicking Existence's plot features the Legends' kids on the Waverider. They are facing a problem that has several of the team's members - well - flicking from existence. Already a lot has happened in the first six chapters.

We find out that Nic has been to hell and back. (Literally.) Zane and Zoey think their pops is dead. Val has some weird mind control thingy. It's already exciting, and I look forward to reading more.

9/10

Oc

There are a lot of ocs in this book. Naturally, that can be a little difficult to keep up with. (I know from experience. I have, like, fifty something ocs for the Arrowverse alone!)

But DarkSuspense does a pretty good job keep everyone together. So, far they all seem pretty accurate to normal human beings.

Nic is bitter at her mom and weary about sharing her emotionally scaring backstory.

Val is troubled by his past and haunted by mistakes he's made.

And those are just two examples.

Another thing I like about DarkSuspense's characters is their relationships. It's clear the team has gone through thick and thin with each other. And even when they have a bunch of drama trying to pull them apart, they still stick together like glue. That's an admirable quality, I think. I love loyalty.

8/10

Cannon Characters

Okay, so I think that DarkSuspense does a great job with keeping the cannon characters in character. I'll never understand how people can write them on the nose like that. I can only do it, like, not even 20% of the time. Haha...

9/10

Writing Style

I like DarkSuspense's writing style. Lots of details. Lots of emotions. The only criticism I have is: some of the sentences are too long. They aren't necessarily wrong grammatically, but it's harder to read. It also doesn't flow as well.

Example:

Perry jumped down to the floor from the ceiling and kicked Doof in the face, and then he twisted his arm behind his back, as he punched his face with his free paw; but Doof managed to escape by flipping Perry over his head and into the table.

It's easy to get lost with long sentences like this. I'd suggested breaking some of them up.

Example:

Perry jumped down from the roof and landed on the floor. He jumped up, quickly, kicking Doof in the face. Perry proceeded to punch the evil scientist in the face with one paw; and with his other paw he pinned Doof's arm behind his back. However, Doof escaped soon. He flipped Perry over his head and into the table.

This is a little easier to read, and it flows a bit better than the previous example.

7/10

* PLEASE NOTE THAT THE WRITERS FEATURED IN THESE REVIEWS HAVE EITHER SUBMITTED THEIR STORIES TO ME OR GIVEN ME PERMISSION TO REVIEW. THIS IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO BE RUDE OR HATEFUL TOWARDS ANY PARTICULAR WRITER OR THEIR STORIES. THESE REVIEWS ARE SIMPLY MY OPINIONS. *