Oh my lord, this chapter was such a bitch.
But here we are.
It's short and choppy, but it's the best I've got right now. Hopefully the next few chapters will be better. If only I could get my damn muse working again!
Another huge thank you to all the people who left reviews, and those who favorited and are following this story. It means more than you know.
If you guys could help me out, I'd really appreciate it. I'm torn between three endings for this story:
One, the happy but slightly unrealistic ending.
Two, the sad but realistic ending.
Three, the brutally sad ending.
Let me know how you think it should go!
Morrigan
Morrigan does not join them in their return to Ostagar, feigning illness. It's not difficult; after all they believe she was sick in the Deep Roads.
She needs a plan.
Every day Daylen's child grows inside her. And every day she becomes more and more worried of what is to come.
She cannot simply kill the child. She considered it, but was struck with such pain at the thought; she wants the child. She loves him.
And that leaves her without options.
The final battle will not come in time to save the Grey Wardens.
And she cannot help but worry she will lose Daylen. She knows him too well to think he would let one of his comrades die in his place.
Avina, as well, would hurt Morrigan to lose. She never would have thought, but the elven woman with her innocent smile and endless loyalty has grown on her. Avina would take an arrow to save any one of her companions, especially Alistair.
And it would break Avina to lose the blond oaf.
She must think. She cannot carry the soul that will save them...
Then it occurs to her.
Even if she cannot, someone else may.
Avina
The cold preserved Cailan's body enough to be easily recognizable by them.
When at last they take his corpse down, Avina can't help but feel sick as she looks at him.
The darkspawn took every bit of his armor, leaving him in only his smallclothes. His ribs are crushed, his entire body black and blue from the horrible battle. His face is the only thing that is left untouched.
They found the armor scattered around the camp, in the hands of numerous darkspawn.
It isn't easy to start his pyre in the cold, but with three mages they manage.
Alistair stands beside her, his expression a mix of anger and grief. Avina has no doubt that her face matches.
Her hand finds his, hers cold while his is warm.
They leave Ostagar, and never look back, Alistair carrying his dead brother's armor in his arms.
There are only a few things left to do before they face Loghain and the might of the darkspawn horde.
Avina tracked Sten's sword to Dwyn; all she must do to return it to him is go to Redcliffe and get Dwyn to hand it over.
Leliana has someone she needs to see in Denerim. Oghren has an old flame at Lake Calenhad.
Griffon wants a lamb bone.
And Avina will be damned if they do not get their final wishes!
Well, not final final. She hopes...
Maybe she shouldn't have accepted that drink from Oghren.
She just loves them all sooo much; and she knows there's a possibility that some of them could die during this Blight. In fact, it's rather likely. So just in case... she should do everything she can for them.
Leliana comes to sit beside Avina's place by the fire, a sly grin on her face. "So, you and Alistair..."
Avina blinks and looks over at her. "Yes?"
"You and Alistair," she repeats. "Together, looking contented. You even have a... glow about you. So shameless."
Confused, Avina looks at her skin. "I'm not glowing."
"Of course you aren't. Leliana's just seeing things again, isn't she?" Leliana smiles, like she knows a secret. "So, how is Alistair...?"
Avina glances over at him. He's sitting not far away, arguing with Sten. "He looks fine to me."
Leliana nudges her shoulder playfully. "You know what I mean. Alistair and you... those long nights. He must be quite delightful... you wouldn't be so happy otherwise, I think."
Avina thinks about this for a moment.
Oh. Her cheeks flush.
In the beginning, they were both rather new to... those kind of things. It was painful at first, but Alistair was so gentle with her. He made sure he did absolutely everything he could to make it good for her.
"He's athletic," Leliana continues. "That's always nice. He is also good at following instructions, isn't he?"
Avina smiles dreamily. "Yes. I'm very happy with his performance."
Leliana grins widely. "Ooh, fascinating. The little templar is all grown up and apparently he... ahem... plays well with others."
The two burst into giggles.
When she looks up, Alistair is standing beside them, looking almost terrified. "What are you giggling about? W-what is she giggling about?"
Avina covers her mouth to stifle the laughter. "Just... you. And your 'performance'."
He looks confused, and it's just so adorable that Avina wants to snuggle him.
Maybe she will.
"My performance? What performance? And why does it warrant giggling?"
Leliana manages to pull her expression together. "We're just talking about how you treat her in bed. Nothing you should concern yourself with."
Alistair's eyes go wide. "How I t- Oh, Maker... What is wrong with you women?"
Maybe it's the drink, but Avina thinks this is the funniest thing in the world.
With a sigh, Alistair picks her up and carries her back to the tent, laying her on the bedroll so she can sleep it off.
"You really do treat me well," Avina sighs. "You make me so happy."
Alistair can't help but smile. "I'm glad." He brushes a strand of her hair out of her face. "I love you."
Her eyes close, that dreamy smile still on her face. "I love you too."
Daylen
"Morrigan, is something wrong?"
She hasn't seemed any better since the Deep Roads, and the longer she's silent the more he worries.
If something is bothering her, he wants to know what it is, and if he can help.
There's a flare of panic in Morrigan's eyes as she looks up, surprised. "It is..." She doesn't finish, covering her face with her hands. When she looks at him again, he can swear her eyes are shining. "I warned you, did I not? I told you that this was a weakness that was driving me mad. And yet you insisted."
"Why are you so afraid of this?" He demands.
She sighs. "'Tis all so... unexpected. I have no experience with any of it. And yet I find myself wanting it. Hungering for it. For you." She shakes her head. "That is not right, is it? That is not how a normal woman acts,? I can see it in your eyes."
When he goes to touch her, she takes a step back, and he drops his hand.
"Release me," she says weakly. "Tell me that you wish to end this. Make me believe you and I... will be grateful."
In another life, he might have done as she asked. If he didn't care for her as deeply as he did.
And he doesn't even care. Sod it all, he loves her. And he isn't about to let that get away.
"I can't," he tells her. She looks stunned. "I don't want this to end."
She says nothing for a moment.
Then she surges forward, her hand lashing out to slap him across the cheek. "You miserable selfish bastard!"
But when he turns his head back to look at her, her anger melts.
She meets him halfway as he reaches for her, her hands going to his face to pull him to her.
It is, perhaps, their first kiss that is about them and how they feel about each rather than physical release.
When she pulls back, she still looks troubled. "You will regret this. And so will I. And... perhaps that is how it must be."
He doesn't push further, but he knows something is still eating at her. If she's not willing to tell, he'll wait.
Just a little longer.
Tel'abelas.
Next chapter: The Landsmeet Part 1