Of Gallantry, Guilt and Grace
Chapter 5
Terry smoothed the fresh sheets she had put on the bed, fluffed the pillow and straightened the covers that were folded at the foot of the bed. Everything was ready for Actor when he got there. It wasn't raining yet and the curtains blew in slightly with the fresh cool breeze. Puffy white clouds drifted slowly across the blue sky ahead of the storm that was coming. All it seemed to do was rain here. At least it wasn't snow twelve months out of the year as it was at the ranch.
The house was nice and quiet. The men were on a mission so perhaps Actor could get some more rest before the onset of the arguments and fights. Maybe she could too. However, with the men gone, Terry wasn't strong enough to get Actor up two flights of stairs by herself, so he was returning on a stretcher with an ambulance crew.
Oh, crap! She had forgotten the coffee for the ambulance crew. Terry grabbed the linen she had removed from the bed and bounded down the stairs. The linen was tossed on the floor next to the wash machine in the utility room and a pot of real coffee was started on the gas hob. She opened the cupboard for clean coffee cups and found mostly empty space on the shelf. Turning, she sucked in one cheek at the pile of dirty dishes in the sink. What happened to the good old days when the guys took turns with the chores?
Turning the water on to get hot, Terry piled the dirty dishes on the counter, plugged the drain and sprinkled dish flakes into the dishpan in the sink. She sorted out the coffee cups and smaller plates. The rest could sit and soak to loosen up the dried food. Greasy Spam from the looks of it. Seems she was back to cooking again. She washed the cups and plates, rinsed and dried them. They were lined up on the table. With time left yet, Terry started on the other dishes. Finally, she gave up and let them soak. Drying her hands, Terry went to the front door and stepped out on the portico, listening. There was no sound of a heavy truck engine, so she went back inside and went up to shut the window in Actor's room. The breeze had a chill to it now.
All this running up and down the stairs was wearing her out and the confidence man wasn't even here yet. She went into her bedroom that faced the driveway and sat at her desk to start a letter to her mother and Cinder. She hadn't gotten very far with that when the ambulance arrived. Putting the letter into the middle desk drawer for later, Terry went downstairs and met the crew at the door.
As they worked their way inside with the stretcher, Terry said, "Upstairs, first hall to your right and . . ."
"I know where he lives," said a male voice behind her with a touch of humor.
Terry turned and smiled. "Oh, hi, John. I didn't see you."
The brown-haired medic grinned at her and they followed the men with the stretcher up the stairs. As they walked down the hall, John teased. "Terry, we have to stop meeting like this. People are going to talk."
The girl chuckled. "I'm alone in the house with this one," she pointed her thumb at the stretcher. "You think they don't already talk about me?"
"I believe your virtue is safe right now," said a slurred voice from the stretcher.
There were stifled chuckles. Terry shook her head.
"Is he loaded?" she asked the medic.
"To the gills as they say," affirmed John. "Some idiot gave him a full dose on top of not enough blood."
"Morphine I assume?"
John nodded.
"How nice," said Terry in disgust.
They watched from the doorway as Actor was moved to the bed. He had on a hospital gown. That would work for now.
"He slept maybe ten minutes when we left the hospital," said the medic. "We went slow to avoid the potholes as much as we could." The man looked back up the hall to the room next to Actor's. "Lt. Garrison," he nodded with his head. Pointing with his forefinger at the room on the other side of Actor's, "Don't know that one. The one on the end on the other side is Chief. Don't know the one across from Actor, or the one facing down the hall."
"Unfortunately, it doesn't mean there weren't injuries. Just that they were either brought here from London or we could manage them ourselves."
"Can you handle him?" asked John.
Terry nodded with a resigned smile. "And as they say in my neck of the woods, 'this ain't my first rodeo'."
"Full of clichés today, aren't we."
They both laughed. With Actor in bed, the two stretcher bearers worked their way out with the canvas and wooden poles rolled up between them.
"Coffee's in the kitchen," said Terry. "Help yourselves. And thank you."
"Anytime, Ma'am," said one of the stretcher bearers.
Terry went in the bedroom while the men went back downstairs. She closed the door partway and moved over to stand beside Actor. He looked up at her with heavy eyelids over pinpoint pupils.
"They gave me way too much," he slurred groggily.
"I can see that," said Terry with a smile. "Let me check your side and then you can sleep it off."
He didn't wait for her to finish examining the bandage over the sutured chest tube wound before falling asleep. Terry tucked the covers around him. With a grin of affection, she kissed the end of her forefinger and touched the tip of his nose. He hated when she did that, but he wasn't awake to know. It looked like she would be writing to her mother in here instead of washing dishes. She wanted him more awake before she left him alone for any length of time. Terry strode down the hall to her room, retrieved the letter and went back to Actor's room. She pulled the desk chair out, sat and took a pen from the drawer.
A few minutes later, she heard the front door open and stepped out into the hall. Footsteps bounded up the stairs and John stuck his head around the corner.
"We're leaving now. Thanks for the coffee."
"Thanks for bringing him."
John gave her a one fingered salute and trotted back down the stairs and out.
GGG
Actor felt hungover and he did not get hangovers. He hated morphine. Slowly he opened his eyes. The room wasn't spinning so that was a plus. He turned his head and saw Teresa tilted back with his desk chair on its hind legs and her feet crossed on the desktop. She was seemingly engrossed in a book from the Mansion's library.
"You don't have to sit with me all the time," Actor grumbled.
Terry turned her head to look at him. "I wasn't planning on it, caro. But with your lungs not back to normal yet, I didn't want to leave you alone with all that morphine in you."
"That was prudent of you," he added with a more benign tone. "I'm sorry, I am just . . ."
"Tired, hungover, and plain don't feel good," finished Terry.
She placed a bookmark in the book and closed it. Lifting her feet off the desk and maintaining her balance as she brought the chair down on all four of its legs, Terry lay the book on the desk and stood up. She moved over to the side of the bed and looked at the Italian's eyes.
"Pupils are almost back to normal," she said with a nod. "You going to stay awake for a while?"
"I think so," replied Actor.
"In that case, I'll go finish the sink-full of dishes the guys so nicely left for me and start supper." She smiled at him. "Need anything before I go?"
"No, I'm fine."
Terry back away and turned to leave. She paused at the open door and looked back. "And if you get dizzy when you sit up to go into the bathroom, please call me. I really don't think I can get you off the floor right now. And you make a horrible thunk over the top of my head in the kitchen."
"I would still like to know how you got me back into the bed that time."
"No, you don't." She grinned and went down the hall.
Actor waited until he heard her going down the stairs before pushing the covers aside and with a grimace of pain got his feet over the edge of the bed and sat up. Of course, there was dizziness, but not bad and it passed immediately. Carefully, he rose to his feet. The room was steady. Not bothering with slippers, he slowly walked barefoot to the bathroom with a smile of triumph on his face.
Terry was filling the sink with fresh, hot, soapy water when the water pressure dropped. She looked up at the ceiling with a wry eye. "Men," she said in disgust and went back to her dishes. There was no 'thud', so she continued washing.
The storm moved in with wind, cold and slashing rain. Terry started a fire in the fireplace in Actor's room to keep the chill and dampness away. The man was reclined against the headboard on pillows borrowed from the spare room.
"Where did they go this time?" Actor asked.
"I think Craig said Holland. It doesn't look like they'll be getting back tonight." Terry sat on the bed, beside his knee. "Okay, what can I get you to keep you from being bored out of your mind?"
"My pipe would be nice," he said wistfully.
"Nope. Doc said not for a week. What else? Can you read all right?"
"I think so," said Actor. He hadn't expected the girl to let him smoke anyway. "I left a book beside my chair in the downstairs common room when we went on that last mission."
Terry smiled and bounced out of the room, not seeing Actor's crooked smile and shake of his head. It seemed to take a bit of a long time for her to return. When she came back, she held his book out flat toward him. Atop the cover was a Hershey chocolate bar.
Actor grinned and accepted both offerings. "Where did you find that?" he had to know.
"After the Sgt./Major was transferred, I snitched all the chocolate bars out of the rations," she said. "Makes good bargaining chips on the Continent."
The Italian lay the book on his lap and removed the wrapper from the candy. He broke off a piece and held it out to her. "A tip for your trouble, carissima."
"Grazie mille," she replied, slipping it into her mouth.
"And what else do I owe you for raiding your stash?" teased Actor.
Terry pretended to think about it. "Maybe a snuggle later?"
"Most definitely," he replied. "I tried to get you in my bed before . . ."
"Bed wasn't big enough and no privacy," Terry shook her head with an exaggerated look of frustration.
In response, an overdone expression of regret graced the con man's face. "Alas, Teresa, I am afraid a snuggle is all I'm up for."
"Pun fully intended, I'm sure," teased the girl back.
Later that night, Terry slipped into Actor's bedroom. The only light in the room was from the fire in the fireplace. She moved slowly and silently forward to see if he was asleep. A long arm held the covers up on his left side. Terry slid off her slippers and eased carefully in beside him.
"Cotton gown, Teresa?" he complained.
"If you're going to complain . . ."
She wiggled up against his left side and tucked her head on his shoulder under his chin, right arm bent up atop his chest instead of across it.
"Are you staying the night?" he asked, hopefully.
"No," she replied. "I'm afraid I'll hurt your ribs in my sleep. Besides, it would be just our luck Craig would find a way back and catch us."
A loud crack of thunder sounded overhead.
"I doubt that will be the case, but I appreciate your caution."
His left arm bent up and his hand encircled her upper arm. The feeling of contented enjoyment of simply lying there with her tucked up against him seemed strange to him, but pleasant. And right now, it was enough. He must have fallen asleep. When he awakened, she was gone.
GGG
The next day, Actor decided it was time to start pushing himself. While Teresa was downstairs, he pushed the covers aside and carefully and painfully rolled to a sitting position. He was able to make it to the bathroom unaided, so the next step was the door and back. After taking a couple deep breaths, Actor stood. There was no dizziness, just that abominable weakness. One slow step at a time, he worked to get to the door. Once there, he had to hold onto the door and gulp great breaths of air. Frustration settled in. Ten feet and his knees wanted to give out. Standing was not improving things any. He turned and looked back at the bed. It seemed much farther away than it was. Straightening, with eyes fixed on his pillow at the headboard, Actor took the first step forward. His legs tried to give out. So much for slow. He staggered forward with the hopes of reaching the bed before he went down. He barely made it. Flinging himself at the near corner of the mattress, he landed sideways with his right chest on the bed and his legs dangling toward the floor. He injured ribs felt like someone was stabbing him with a butcher knife and he couldn't prevent a groan from escaping.
Running footsteps sounded in the hall. Teresa must have been coming up the stairs. He tried to push himself further onto the bed, but his slippers slid on the rug.
Terry reached the door and stopped short. "What . . ." Never mind, she knew what. Stepping forward, she looked at the position he was in. That wasn't going to work.
"Okay, get on your knees. We'll get you up from there."
"You can't lift me," wheezed Actor. At the same time, he managed to get one knee under himself and roll onto his stomach. The other knee moved up and he pushed away from the mattress, forearms taking his weight on the bed. Terry came to his left side.
"Bring your left leg out and bend your knee up." She had a hand on his upper back.
He wiggled his leg outward and got his foot down flat on the floor. Terry bent down and sideways, pulling his arm around her neck. This wasn't going to be good for either of them. Her left hand grasped his thick wrist in front of her shoulder and her other arm went behind him so she could grab a handful of his pajama bottoms by his right hip.
"Okay, up!"
He tried to stand on his left foot. Leaning his weight on his right arm sent more stabbing pain into his chest. To his surprise, the girl levered him up enough he could get the other foot under him and stand, still leaning heavily on her.
"Turn and face me," she coaxed in a softer tone.
With her holding onto him, he turned.
"Hug me."
Actor's long arms went around the girl and her arms now moved around his waist. Grabbing handfuls of his pajama bottoms.
"You are going to rip my pajamas," he objected.
"Then move. Sideways," she instructed.
He slid his feet, one at a time, toward the head of the bed. He stopped at the right place to sit. Terry bent at the knees, straddling his legs, arms around his waist now.
"Sit. Easy," she coaxed.
They eased him down. He wanted to take deep breaths but the pain in his ribs prevented it. In defeat, something unaccustomed for him, he leaned his head against Teresa's chest. She kept a hand on his upper back and stroked the back of his head with the other.
"Let's get you down flat," she said. "Pivot on your backside and I'll get your legs. No matter what we do it's going to hurt."
Actor nodded. He put his arms behind him, hands on the bed and twisted when Teresa lifted his legs from just below his knees. Unable to maintain sitting up, he almost crashed back on the mattress, head hitting the pillow. Hands were quickly unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it aside.
Terry couldn't believe there was no blood showing through the bandage on Actor's chest. She peeled back a corner of the dressing. The sutures were intact. She placed a hand on either side of his chest and felt the ragged breaths he was taking. His chest seemed to be expanding evenly, but she needed to make sure he hadn't collapsed part of the lung again.
She rose from the bed and hurried out of the room and down the hall. Actor listened to her footsteps running back. She had a stethoscope in her hand. Easing a hip on the bed, beside him, she listened to both lungs. Satisfied, she looked up into the dark brown eyes.
"Sounds okay," she reassured him. "It doesn't look like you did damage."
Terry lay the stethoscope across her legs and buttoned his shirt back up.
"Rest," she said, getting to her feet. "We'll try this again later this afternoon, when you're ready."
Actor watched her turn away and go out the door. That was it? No screaming, ranting, yelling, cursing, arguing? No telling him what an idiot he was. He knew what he had tried was stupid. He just hated to be helpless.
At noon, Teresa entered the room with a tray of food. There were two sandwiches stacked on a plate. The top one was normal sized for these times. The one on the bottom was stacked thickly with meat, cheese, lettuce from the garden, and slices of tomato. The girl picked up the smaller sandwich and one of the two glasses of milk before sitting down on the desk chair and putting the glass on the desk.
A loud clap of thunder seemed to shake the old building and rain slashed against the window as another wave of storm came through. Actor stared closely at the girl. Yes, her clothes were damp and there was more spring to her hair.
"You went out in this to get me some lettuce?" he asked in disbelief.
"Well, it wasn't raining quite as hard when I went out as it is now. I doubt Craig and the guys will get back tonight either." She took a bite of sandwich.
"And why is your sandwich so much smaller than mine?" he asked accusingly.
The girl took his tone, unperturbed. "Because you have a hole in you and I don't. You need more than I do. And you're bigger than me."
"Teresa . . ."
"Oh, just eat it," she shot back at him. The twinkle in her eyes said she wasn't really angry with him.
He proceeded to do just that. Not only was the sandwich stuffed with meat and cheese, it was slathered with mayonnaise and mustard. Between bites, Actor asked, "Did you call G-2?"
Terry shook her head. "I wasn't going to deal with Schaeffer. I called London. The planes aren't flying, the boats aren't boating, and the subs aren't subbing. The guys are tucked in safe in a safe house for another night."
Actor smiled. "Then it would be safe to repeat last night's little arrangement. Perhaps for the entire night this time?"
"Perhaps." And that was the end of that.
When they were finished eating, Terry put her plate and glass on the tray, but instead of walking out with it, she set it on the desk. Actor watched curiously as the girl picked up the chair and carried it over by the highboy next to the door. She positioned it sideways and close to the open door. Without a word, she retrieved the tray and headed back toward the door.
"Teresa?" Actor asked in curiosity.
She stopped and looked at him. "I know you're going to try it again. And I know you don't want me to help you. If you can make it to the door, you can sit and catch your breath before trying to go back to bed this time. Have a nice afternoon. I'll be up later."
She gave that wide fake smile he associated with her brother and went out the door.
He did indeed try it again, several times, until he could make it back and forth without resting. Between walks he rested or napped. It still annoyed him greatly that he had so little strength.
Early that evening, Teresa brought up another covered tray and placed it across his thighs. With an exaggerated flip of the cloth she revealed two plates of what Actor swore was lasagna.
"Is that . . . ?" he asked.
"It's as close to lasagna as I can make here," admitted the girl with a shrug.
"Where did you find the pasta?" Actor asked in amazement.
Terry brought the chair back by the bed, sat and took one of the plates. "I am capable of making pasta," she said. "Not one of my favorite things to do, but I can do it."
The Italian took a tentative bite and his face broke into a smile. "You make a wonderful sauce. The meat. Sausage and what?"
Terry swallowed a bite. "Half sausage and half minced beef. I would have made it American-style with ricotta and egg, if I had ricotta."
"Traditional is fine. You went to a lot of trouble, Teresa," he admonished.
"I didn't have anything else to do," said the girl. "Every time I came up here, you were asleep. She looked inquisitively at him. "I didn't hear you go splat on the floor, so I guess you must have made it to the door and back."
Actor nodded. "Three times," he said proudly.
Terry smiled. She wished he would allow her to stand by while he walked, but he didn't want her help. She wasn't sure why, but she would respect him. The funny thing was, he wanted her beside him in bed. No sex, maybe just warm body. Funny. She had grown up with boys and men and thought she understood them very well. That wasn't the case with this one.
"Could I please have my pipe?" asked Actor with a tinge of frustration.
Terry shook her head. "Doc said not for another week. That lung isn't healed enough yet. You could end up with pneumonia or re-collapse it again if you start coughing."
Actor understood that, but it was hard to go so long without his pipe. Not only was the tobacco soothing, so was the act of building a pipe. The girl rose from the chair and put it back by the door. She took the dirty dishes and the tray and left.
She washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen, fielded a phone call from Kit, and worked on some intel in Craig's office. The front still kept the guys from returning, but it was starting to move out. Rain still hit and ran down the diamond panes of the windows. She had gone back upstairs to close the blackout curtains in Actor's and her bedrooms. With the windows shielded, he was reading his book by the light of the desk lamp.
Closing the house up for the night, Terry went to her bedroom and changed into her gown before going down to the Italian's room. The desk lamp was on, the book beside it. He was asleep. There wasn't enough room beside his left arm for her to slip in beside him and she didn't want to awaken him. Moving silently to the bed, she bent down and lightly kissed his forehead. He didn't wake up, so she turned the light out and went back to her room.
Sometime during the night, Actor awakened and missed the girl lying beside him. The earlier 'perhaps' must have meant no. He was disappointed. It was nice having her tucked up against him.
The next morning, nothing was said about the sleeping arrangements when she brought him his breakfast.
"I would like to wash up," broached Actor.
Terry nodded. "Can you get in and out of the tub and stand that long?"
"I doubt it," he said with disappointment.
"I'll get things set up at the sink," Terry said with a smile.
She took the chair she was sitting on and moved it into the bathroom. She set towels and his shaving set within reach. Returning to his bedside, Terry picked up the tray of dirty dishes and smiled at him.
"If you need anything," she said. "throw something on the floor. Preferably not yourself."
"Funny, Teresa," he said with a wry expression.
A half hour later, feeling somewhat clean and at least smooth shaven, Actor slowly and deliberately walked back to the bed. Just that little bit of activity had exhausted him. What was the matter with him? Even at his worst injury, he had bounced back better than this. He lay down in relief. A minute later there was bumping and scraping in the hall.
"Teresa?" he called out weakly.
"Be there in a minute, caro," she called back.
The noise ceased, and the girl walked in. She inspected his face and nodded. "Nice job."
"Thank you," he replied slightly disgusted. He eyed her. "What were you doing out there?"
She grinned. "You'll see. The next time you take your walk to the door, look out there."
"You're not going to tell me?"
"Nope. It's a surprise."
Teresa went into the bathroom and cleaned up after him. Returning to the bedroom, she carried the chair back to its place by the door. Not quite sure of the response she would get, she walked over to look down at the Italian.
"I'd like to change the dressing," she said.
He nodded. While she went into his bathroom for the aid kit, he scooted painfully over so she could sit on the bed beside him. She turned the covers back and sat carefully next to his hip. The kit was opened on his stomach. He had unbuttoned the pajama shirt and opened it, so the bandage was visible.
Terry carefully peeled the tape off his skin and removed the gauze. The wound looked healthy. Even stitched, it looked like a tube had been in it. There was no heat or redness, so that was a plus. Terry counted on her fingers.
"Another three days and I can take the stitches out."
As she redressed the wound, he looked questioningly at her. "When do I go see Dr. Kaiser again?"
Terry raised an eyebrow. "When you can get down two sets of stairs and sit in the car for twenty minutes of bumpy ride."
That wasn't going to be anytime soon, and they both knew it. He changed the subject.
"Have you heard anything from Allied Command about the Warden and the others?"
Terry nodded. "It's still stormy on the Continent, but they're trying to set up a pickup." She laughed. "I'll bet Craig is getting really antsy."
Actor grinned. "Especially if he is sitting on intel."
"And Casino and Goniff."
It was after lunch before Actor's curiosity got the best of him. He rose from the bed and went to the door, peering out into the hall. To his surprise, there were two chairs along the far wall. One between Casino's room and the common room and the other at the door to the common room. He bet the other two chairs from the game table were spaced apart inside the big room and leading to his chair.
With determination, he stepped into the hall and angled across to the first chair. He had to sit and rest. After catching his breath, he stood and walked slowly to the next chair. He still had to stop and rest. Looking inside the big room, he saw another chair close to the table and one on the other side between the table and his chair. Now he was really determined. He wanted to sit in his nice comfortable chair with his feet up on the ottoman. It took him the two more rest stops to reach his goal, but finally he was able to sink into his chair and get his feet up.
An hour later, that was where Terry found him. She approached silently, watching his breathing. It just seemed like he was in a peaceful sleep. Fetching the afghan that was draped across the piano top, she opened it up and lay it across him. Man was stubborn that was for sure. But at least he had made it without falling. Not for the first or the dozenth time, she wished he would ask for help or let her at least stand by when he made his trek.