Chapter 79-The Whole Buffet Table
"Promises to Keep"
Lee and Amanda were trying to relax together on his sofa over a bottle of wine after handing over their location choices to T.P. They were cuddled up together, shoes kicked off under the coffee table, and Lee's suit jacket and tie discarded. As they sat there in a comfortable silence, Lee was brushing tender, teasing kisses along the column of Amanda's neck, but he could tell that it wasn't doing very much to help his fiancée relax. He pulled back and began gently massaging her neck where his lips had been just seconds before. "Are you okay? You seem awfully tense."
"Well, I am," she admittedly honestly as she leaned into his touch and let out a slight groan as his fingers began to work their magic on her stiff neck. "There's just so much going on, this thing with T.P. and Raymond Peralta. I'm worried that he's in over his head and he'll get hurt."
"That's exactly why we're going to be there, remember?" he reminded her as he stopped what he was doing, reached for her hand and squeezed it reassuringly. "We won't let anything happen to him."
"Yeah," she nodded and squeezed his hand in return, but the tone of her voice indicated that she wasn't entirely comforted by his attempt to boost her spirits.
When he saw she still wore a worried expression, he surmised, "Something tells me that that's not the only thing on your mind."
"Well, no, it's not." She finally turned to face him. "I'm worried about Francine too. The way she confronted me today, then you...I mean, I know she's hinted around before that she thought we were involved...or at the very least, sleeping together-"
"We are," he interrupted. "And have been for years."
"I know that, but she doesn't, not for sure anyway and this time she really seems like she means business. She asked me point blank if I loved you with this worried look on her face like she thinks...I don't know...that I'm in too deep or something."
"What did you say to her?"
"Well, I could hardly deny that I love you when I just know it had to have been written all over my face."
"I can see that. You are kind of a bad liar when it comes to that stuff," he teased.
"Hey, that's not true," she argued. "I think I've been pretty convincing all those times when we had to be undercover as a couple."
"Sure, but we've also been sleeping together that whole time," he pointed out. "But look how many times random people thought we were a couple and we were both horrible at denying it. Believe me, I know the feeling. I'm not any better at hiding my feelings for you." He gave her an affectionate smile as he leaned in to brush his lips softly against hers.
"I just wish I knew the right way to handle this," she continued her worried ramble, "And not just with Francine. I mean, we do work in an intelligence agency. Other people had to have noticed the looks that pass between us at the office. We may be pretty skilled at putting on a good show when it comes to playing whatever our cover-of-the-week is and fooling the bad guys, even if it is partially because we're sleeping together, but it's also because they don't know us. On a day-to-day basis though, it's getting harder and harder to keep pretending that we're not in love to the people we spend every day with. Look at the conversation we had with Billy awhile back. He knew without either of us saying a word."
"Okay, yes," Lee admitted. "But he's also a guy with damn near thirty years in this business."
"But what about other people?" she questioned. "Mrs. D'Angelo, for instance; she was hinting around that she knew something when you asked about your pension information and you know as well as I do that once rumors start circulating around the office, it's next to impossible to get them to die down."
Lee nodded and let out a sigh. "You're not wrong." He shot her a dimpled grin as a thought struck him. "But the best way I know to get one rumor to die off is to get another one started."
She gave him a suspicious look. "I don't like that look on your face. You're up to something."
"Guilty," he confessed. "But hear me out for a second. You're absolutely right about Francine being worried about you. With the way she accosted me, she's got herself convinced that I'm still nothing but a playboy with the mentality of a horny teenager."
"She might have a point on the horny part," she teased as she thought of his reminder of just how many times they had let their desire for each other take control, not to mention the fact that he'd been not-so-subtly attempting to seduce her since they'd walked into the apartment.
"Hey!" he protested good-naturedly. "My point is, why shouldn't we just let her keep on thinking that? From what you said about her 'buffet table' comment, she already believes I'm only after one thing from you and that you're so naïve that you just can't see it. I say we use that to our advantage."
"I don't follow," she replied in confusion.
"Well, if that's what she really thinks, she should have no trouble believing that I tried to push things with you too far and that you ended things because of it."
"You mean fake a breakup?" Her eyes widened in surprise.
"Sure. Why not? I know Francine. She's like a dog with a bone. She'll just keep chewing on it and chewing on it until there's nothing left. But if we let her think we split up, she'll leave us alone, even better if she thinks it came from you."
"How do you figure?"
"She knows deep down just how smart you are, but I think she's bought into your 'wholesome housewife' reputation around the office a bit too much, so if the breakup is initiated by you, she'll think it's just because I wanted something you didn't want to give. Plus, she'll be positively giddy at the idea of me being dumped instead of vice versa."
"And the idea of me dumping you instead of the other way around isn't in any way an attempt to preserve your own image?" she inquired skeptically. "You do have a well-documented history of dumping women before they can get too close, even it's not entirely true and only based on rumors. I can see how that would be kind of a hard thing to live down."
"Do you think I like having the Casanova image?"
"That's not what I mean," she began to explain. "What I mean is that she is thoroughly convinced that if I let you have 'the whole buffet table,' you'll dump me anyway. If we make it look like I dumped you over that expectation, then it just solidifies the idea in her mind that you only want one thing from me. Wouldn't it just be simpler to confide in her about our engagement? She is your friend, after all."
"The trouble with that is that, because she's my friend, she's seen me at my worst; when making a real commitment was the furthest thing from my mind. If we tell her we're engaged, but then turn right around and tell her we're keeping it under wraps, she'll just think that nothing has changed; that I want to keep it a secret so I can still play the field."
"Oh, come on! I don't think even Francine is that cynical!"
"You don't know her like I do," Lee countered. "She wouldn't understand that the reason for the secrecy is to protect the kids. She'll think it's just my way of having my cake and eating it too."
Amanda frowned and shot her fiancé' a doubtful look. "I don't know if I believe that. If you look at all our recent run-ins with her over what the nature of our relationship actually is, I don't think it would be a surprise to her that we're sleeping together."
"Yes, she's accused us of having an affair in the past, but like you already said, this time is different since she point-blank asked you if you loved me and not only that, but attacked me as if I'm just using you for sex. Under those circumstances, if we tell her we're engaged, she might think that you gave me some sort of ultimatum...you know, make an honest woman of you or else…and that still wouldn't look good…for either of us. It would make it look like I only agreed to keep you in my life and that you only landed me because you threatened me…or maybe even that I agreed just to keep you as my partner."
"But if we go with your breakup idea, won't she think something like that anyway; that you weren't willing to commit on your own?"
"Maybe, but then at least she wouldn't think that I only asked you to marry me because of some kind of ultimatum. With the attitude she gave me today, I don't think she'd believe it if I told her the whole truth in that I'm head over heels in love with you and have been for years."
"Hmm..." Amanda bit down on her lower lip as she reflected on their conversation. She had to admit that she could understand his reasoning. After all, the whole Agency had been buzzing about his private life for years and in more recent years, her as well since they work so closely together. "Okay, I do see your point," she informed him. "But I'm just not sure that piling more lies on top of the lies we've already been telling is the right way to go."
"So, we won't tell any. We'll just work harder on behaving ourselves at work, try to be more professional and let her draw her own conclusions."
"I like the idea of letting her draw her own conclusions, then at least it's not an outright lie, but I'm not sure just maintaining a professional distance at the office will be enough when she's already walked in on us more times than I can count…like the other day."
"Then maybe she'll need a little nudge to jump to the right conclusions," Lee suggested as he began idly toying with her fingers. "We'll come up with something to get her off this 'buffet table' shtick of hers." Seeing that she was more relaxed, he resumed what he'd started earlier by lowering his lips to the sensitive skin below her ear.
Amanda sighed in contentment and replied in a suggestive tone, "Oh, I don't know. I do rather like having the whole buffet table."
His eyes lit up at the change in her tone and raised his head to look at her again, "Yeah?"
"Mm-hmm," she responded as she released his hand, shifted onto his lap astride him, linked her hands behind his neck and softly brushed her lips against his. "You know how hungry I can get."
"Now that you mention it, I'm starving myself," he fired back in a low, husky tone. He tangled his fingers in her thick hair and pulled her head down to meet his, capturing her lips in a heart-stopping kiss, growling low in his throat as his desire for her took over. Pausing to catch his breath, he lightly nuzzled her neck and whispered low in her ear, "Do you have to go home tonight?"
"I am home," she purred as she ground against him and grinned from ear to ear at the low groan he let out.
Without another word, Lee shifted his hands beneath her bottom to support her weight as he rose from the sofa. She locked her legs around him and he carried her to the bedroom that way as they shared soft kisses along the way.
He set her gently on the side of the bed in a seated position and knelt on the floor in front of her, slowly running his hands up her legs until they rested on her thighs underneath her long skirt. He paused in his exploration and looked up at her worriedly as self-doubt began to take hold over Francine's harsh words to him and questioned apprehensively, "You know I love you, right?"
"What?" She gaped at him in surprise. "Of course, I do. Why would you ask something like that?"
"I don't know. When I walked into the office today, Francine had such a guilty look on her face so I know she must have really said a mouthful about me to you."
"Lee, I already told you what she said, that part about you wanting the whole buffet table, but she also did say you were a sweet man and that you were pleasantly attractive."
"Yeah?" He shot her a devilish grin.
"Now, don't you go getting a big head over it; she also warned me not to get too deeply involved with you." She smirked back at him and then sighed dramatically, "But it's too late." She ran her hands through his hair and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "I'm already crazy about you."
"The feeling's mutual," he replied as he moved his hands further upward to reach for the waistband of her hosiery.
"Oh, no you don't," she lightly teased as she slapped his hands away. "You'd better let me do that part. I don't want you shredding another pair of my pantyhose." She wriggled a bit to push them off her bottom and down to her knees.
"I can always buy you new ones, you know," he pouted as he tugged her hose down the rest of her legs and pushed them off her feet.
"Nope," she shook her head. "You need to save your money for our wedding, remember? I can hardly be the one to pay for things without Mother questioning where my money's going, now can I?"
"Okay, good point. I'll try to be more careful with your clothes, promise."
"Good," she replied with a firm nod as she began to open the buttons on his shirt, but was halted when he abruptly rose to his feet and began agitatedly walking the floor beside the bed.
"Lee?" Her brow furrowed in confusion at his actions wondering why his mood had shifted from one of playful flirtation to worried pacing. After more than three years by his side, she knew that maneuver of his all too well. When he didn't respond, she tried again, "Sweetheart?" She rose from the bed and stepped in front of him to stop him in his tracks. "What's bothering you?"
"I was just thinking, maybe you should go home," he suggested and then thinking of her soft, 'I am home,' he added "To your kids, I mean."
"What are you talking about? Didn't we agree before we ever left work that since we don't know when T.P. is going to call with a location that it's best if we stick together so we can act on a moment's notice if we need to rather than us being across town from each other?"
"Okay, yes," he agreed. Damn that logical mind of hers, he grumbled inwardly. "But that's purely pragmatic, it doesn't mean we have to-" He broke off abruptly as Francine's lecture continued to haunt him.
"But I thought you wanted to. You certainly seemed to with the way you've been teasing me this evening."
"Yeah, I did. I do, I mean, but what if Francine's right about me?"
"She's not," Amanda stated adamantly. "She may think she knows you, but not as well I as do."
"But I've done things, Amanda…questionable things. And think about it, our entire…affair, for lack of a better word began in a helicopter when we barely knew each other."
"Yes, it did, but-"
"And how many times since then have I just let my desire take over?" he interrupted, "And in the most inappropriate times and places?"
She shot him a perturbed look, the same scolding look she gave her boys when they were in trouble and countered, "Oh, do you think you were alone in all that? I was there too, remember? I could've stopped any of those incidents at any time I wanted to, but you seem to forget that I went right along with it every single time and a few, I even initiated."
"You're right, but what if that's the problem with Francine? She's hinted around for at least a year that she knew about a couple of those times, so what if she really is right and I can't just be happy with hors d'oeuvres and have to have the whole buffet table?"
"Oh, Lee, I don't believe that's true," she crooned consolingly as she took both of his hands in hers to reassure him.
"No?" he questioned dubiously.
"No, not at all." She shook her head. She released his hands, fixed him with a salacious grin as she yanked the tails of his shirt from his pants and resumed her task of unbuttoning the garment, "Besides, what if I want more than just the hors d'oeuvres you've been giving me tonight?" When she got to the last button, she ran her hands slowly up his chest and then began to lightly tease his nipples with her thumbs.
"Mmm….Amanda," he murmured at the teasing touches. "You really don't play fair, you know. I'm trying to make a serious point here. What if-"
His words were cut off by her lips on his and flicking her tongue against his mouth. She backed off for just a moment with a satisfied smile and asked, "What if what?"
"I forgot what I was even talking about," he responded, just as she'd hoped she would, the worried look in his eyes replaced by one of desire.
"That's what I thought," she laughed as she took his hand and led him back to the bed, tugging him down to its surface with her until they were seated facing one another. Still holding his hand in a comforting gesture, she explained, "Listen, I know what Francine said today got to you. It got to me too a little…"
"See? You think it too; that I'm just a hound who-"
"NO!" she exclaimed emphatically. "I don't think that. What got to me about what Francine said was not about you, but about me and how she still sees me as some naïve goody-two-shoes who'd just fall under your spell without thinking about the consequences."
He had to laugh at her comment, "Okay, I get that. I have to admit that I thought you were a bit naïve at first too."
"And I thought you were a bit of a hound when we first met," she replied. "But here's the thing, we've gotten to know each other a lot better since then and we both know who we are and where we stand with each other and we shouldn't let Francine - or anybody else, for that matter - try to tell us any differently. Is it really anybody else's business that we slept together just days after we first met or that we haven't been able to keep our hands off each other since then?"
"Isn't that sort of the problem though?"
"I don't see it that way. Why should it be a problem that we've always been attracted to each other and that we've acted on that attraction, especially since we're going to be getting married? It's a good thing that we have an active and exciting sex life. I can't tell you how many of the ladies in the PTA have complained about their lack of excitement in the bedroom." Off his surprised look, she answered his unasked question, "Yes, women talk about those kinds of things, probably just as much if not more than men do, but that's off the subject at hand. The point I was making is that we're lucky because we do have that going for us. And, yes, you're right in saying that it's gotten the better of us – both of us – probably more times than it should have when the timing or location was just all wrong, but why does that have to be a bad thing? I think it just shows how compatible we are in that area."
"But-"
She silenced his attempted protest with another soft kiss. "Lee, I love you, but you talk too much."
"Look who's talking," he laughed.
"I just meant that you're worrying about nothing. Who cares what Francine thinks?"
"Spoken by the woman who was worried earlier about what to say to her."
"Well, I was and I still am a bit, but more because of what she might do at work, but I'm not going to let it affect our relationship…and neither should you. I do understand why what she said might get to you, but she doesn't know what we have and if this breakup scenario works out, she never will so I suggest we just go to bed and forget about it until tomorrow. If all this talk about her has gotten you to where you're no longer in the mood, that's fine; we can just go to sleep if you prefer."
"Yeah, sounds like a plan," he breathed a sigh of relief, again being tremendously grateful that she was such an understanding woman; that was one of the many things he loved about her.
"Good, now that that's settled, we really should get some rest," she rose from the bed to get undressed as she walked across the room to the dressed to retrieve her nightgown. "Depending on when T.P. calls, we may end up having a long day tomorrow."
"Yeah," he agreed as he discarded the shirt Amanda had unbuttoned and then stripped down to his boxers. When he climbed into to bed and turned to see her walking toward the window to crack it open, he let out a frustrated groan once he saw what she was wearing. "Oh, Amanda, you really aren't being fair." So much for understanding, he thought.
"What? I'm just dressed for bed," she replied innocently as she slipped into bed beside him.
"In a sexy nightie," he pouted. "All these years that I've been teasing you about wearing something like that for me and you choose now?"
"What?" She gestured down the length of her satin nightgown. "This is not a sexy nightie," she argued. "It's just a normal nightgown like any other nightgown."
"That is not your normal nightgown though," he rebutted as he nodded to the slender straps on her shoulders. "You're usually wearing the granny-style flannel nightgown." When she gave him a perturbed look, he quickly added, "Not that I don't think you look beautiful in it, but I-"
"Oh, for Pete's sake, I wear those around the house because of the boys," she explained. "Because I don't think it would be appropriate for them to see their mother displaying her cleavage, not that I have that much to display in the first place. I thought since it's just you and me and you made such an effort to make sure I had space here, I would bring over some of my nicer things that I don't get to wear very often, but if it bothers you-"
"I just…I'm trying to behave myself and you…in that...it-"
She smirked at him and teased, "Well, if it really bothers you that much, I can always take it off…" She slowly dragged one of the straps down her arm and back up again.
It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Now, you're doing that on purpose."
She stopped when she saw how agitated he was. "Okay, listen, I really didn't wear this as any kind of seduction attempt, promise." She planted a quick kiss to his lips and snuggled up against him. "It really is just because I don't get to wear stuff like this often and I thought it would be nice for a change." It was the truth, but she couldn't resist teasing him just a little more. "If you really want to see a sexy nightie, you should see the stuff I've been adding to my collection for whenever we take our honeymoon."
"When is that going to be exactly?" he asked. "We've been engaged for months and still haven't worked out any of the details."
"I know," she replied sadly. "We will, but in the meantime, I don't see why we can't just practice for it." She ran her hand down his bare torso in an exploratory manner.
"Amanda, you're not making this very easy on me when you know how hard it is for me to say no to you," he complained good-naturedly.
"I don't know what you're implying," she countered as she continued her exploration. "I'm just trying to prove the point I made at the office – before Francine interrupted – that everyone's ticklish somewhere."
With a deep sigh, he questioned, "How many times do I have to tell you, I'm just not tickl-' He let out a yelp as she hit a spot just above his hips that made him squirm.
"Now, who's the bad liar," she teased as she continued to torment him.
He captured her hands in one of his to stop her attack and couldn't help grinning like a fool at the triumphant look on her face just before she bent her head to kiss him once more, her tongue teasing his lips. When she pulled back a bit, he brushed a stray lock of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. "You sure do know how to get your way, don't you?"
"You started all this, remember?"
"Yeah, I did," he admitted and while he still wanted her, the nagging thoughts wouldn't leave his mind, not only of Francine, but of the fact that while they'd talked about the subject of their future marriage many times, they had yet to discuss when it would actually happen. He let out a sigh and shook his head. Now wasn't the right time either, not when there was so much else going on. "I love you," he whispered as he reached for her to pull her closer until she was lying atop him and pulled her head down to meet his in a fierce kiss.
She pulled back to gaze longingly at him and replied, "I love you too."
"You know," he began as he pulled on the hem of her nightgown. "You may not have intended for this to be a sexy outfit, but you sure as hell look sexy in it." He unceremoniously yanked it over her head and dropped it over the side of the bed and added, "And even sexier out of it."
"You're not so bad yourself," she responded as she sat up enough to run her hands down his chest and stomach to the waistband of his boxers, pushed them down and began to stroke him, delighted by feeling him growing harder in her hand.
"Oh, Amanda," he sighed as her touch set him alight. He wanted to return the favor and slipped one hand inside her panties, growing further excited by the fact that she was already damp for him as a result of his earlier teasing.
"Lee," she gasped when she felt his skilled fingers caressing her, but he'd teased her for so long that she was no longer in the mood for the foreplay, so she brushed his hand aside, shifted her panties and sank down onto him, taking all of him inside her causing both of them to groan.
He grasped her hips and pushed up against her as she braced herself on his chest with both hands. "So sexy," he murmured as he watched her bucking against him, her breasts bouncing along with her, his sighs and moans of pleasure increasing his own.
"Leeee…" she sighed as her long-awaited climax took over and he soon followed behind her, filling her completely. They continued to move together slowly until finally spent, she collapsed onto his chest and they held each other closely as they came down from their mutual high.
Lee kissed the top of her head and said, "Okay, I'm glad you didn't let me talk you out of this."
She lifted her head, propping it up on her hands to look him in the eyes. "Good. You know it really is silly to let one comment from an old friend put doubts in your mind about what we have here."
"Yeah, you're right…and maybe not just about that. Maybe we should just come clean with her like you suggested."
"I think that might be best. After all, Billy already knows about us," she replied.
"True, but he doesn't know we're engaged." He shook his head again. "On second thought, let's just stick to the plan. We can't tell Francine before we tell Billy, not when he's been so supportive."
She frowned. "Yeah, you're right there. So, I guess we'll just let her draw her own conclusions, like you said."
"Yeah, but for now, we should get some sleep."
"Yeah," she agreed. They shifted positions to their normal sleeping arrangement, but though they knew they needed rest, sleep didn't come easily for either of them because while they had finally agreed on a course of action, neither was truly happy with it. They both would have loved nothing more than to share their happiness with their friends but they knew that it was for the best if they didn't.