49 Danny's POV
Tom turned down all future opportunities to write together again, he insisted that he didn't have any ideas he needed help with right now, and no amount of convincing from me would change his mind. In the end, he started getting downright fearful if I brought it up, fidgeting and escaping the second he could, so I gave up. There was no point in pushing Tom, all it did was freak him out. And anyway, he may have actually been on a roll himself. Who knew? He may actually tell us after he was finished... psh, who was I kidding? Of course he wouldn't.
With a sigh, I left him to go upstairs with Buzz for the evening, knowing I wouldn't be seeing him for the rest of the day, just like every other evening. Every instinct told me to run upstairs with him, to help him whatever he was writing, to spend time with him, to make sure he knew that he was loved, and that he wasn't so alone. Tom was so alone, and he'd been a lot happier the days after our writing sessions, he needed more of that, he needed more of that happiness.
But if he wanted alone time, I had to respect that. So, I settled back against the sofa, trying to lose myself in whatever was on the TV. Something about space, a weak attempt to get Tom to come back down after Buzz went to bed. An attempt which failed, like 90% of our attempts. We had tried so much, Star Wars, Back To The Future, space TV, everything we could think of, and nothing got him to come back down. As soon as it hit Buzz's bed time, he was upstairs like a shot, baby in tow, with no chance of him coming back down again.
"Hey, we tried, and you got somewhere last week. He now knows that you want to work with him, and that you're his friend, he'll come back to you when he's ready." Harry reassured me, rubbing my shoulder.
"Doesn't stop it hurting when he rejects me now." I sounded like a miserable teenager, I knew that, but I just... I missed Tom, I wanted him back. It was difficult to have those two nights of perfection, getting a hug, and a conversation from him, then to go back to him hiding in himself again. It was like he wanted to stay away, that he didn't trust himself with us.
"He'll come back." Dougie repeated his husband, "He's come back before, and I mean... if him and me can come back from what we were going through, he'll come back from this too, he's stronger than he looks."
That was where Dougie was right, Tom was definitely stronger than he looked. It was just, he looked so fragile right now. So thin, so pale, so sleep deprived, and just so damn tiny. Like if someone touched him too roughly he'd shatter. I constantly had to remind myself that he wouldn't shatter, that he was still human, and able to hold himself together, even if it was just barely.
"I know, I do. I just..." I wanted to bring him back out of himself right now. I wanted him safe. I wanted... I just wanted him safe. And happy. And to be himself again.
"We understand, we feel it too. But he's getting there. Did you notice how he was interacting more with Buzz this week? He's holding onto him more, and spending more time with him?" Harry smiled, that was also true. Tom had been spending more time with his son, giving him more kisses and cuddles. Though it had all still been hesitant, and like he still wasn't sure of his actions. But he was still doing it, like he should have been, which was something.
"I did." And it was good, he was getting better with Buzz, evolving into the dad he always should have been. I just wished Natasha would hurry up and give him back all of his personality. All of it. The high-pitched laughter, the brilliant creativity, the weird quirks, the nerdy clothes, all of it. Not just this watered-down version, not the bare-basics. Him. All of him.