50 Dougie's POV
The usual night time routine started at the exact same time it usually did, with Tom immediately taking Buzz upstairs for his nightly bath as soon as In The Night Garden had finished, leaving all of us sitting downstairs, unsure on what to do now. Harry put on one of David Attenborough's documentaries for me, but it wasn't holding my attention like it usually would. I don't know, I just... didn't feel like watching it, or doing anything that wasn't about helping Tom. Half way through the show, I gave up, getting up and going to the kitchen for a snack. It wasn't exactly better than watching the show, but it was something to do at the least.
In the kitchen, I could hear something. A small murmuring, barely able to be heard, and it sounded like Tom. Looking around, I found the spare baby monitor, the one that Tom didn't carry around with him once Buzz was in bed. On the screen, Tom was sitting on the floor of Buzz's room, his son on his lap, reading him a story. He was gently whispering it to his sleepy child, arm wrapped around the baby protectively, looking every bit like the perfect father.
"Hey guys, look at this." I brought it into the front room, showing Danny and Harry my discovery.
"He's... it's the most fatherly I've seen him." Danny was watching intently, hand reaching out to hold the monitor.
It was true, thinking about it, Tom hadn't looked this fatherly in a long time, possibly ever. Not that he wasn't affectionate, but it always looked hesitant. This though, this was unashamed closeness, with no sign of being tense, or like he wasn't sure of what he was doing. He looked determined, like he knew exactly what he was doing. Or at least, was confident that he was doing the right thing. Or maybe, that he was certain that he wanted to do this with Buzz right now.
"Maybe he's used to this bit." I was pretty sure Tom had been doing this for a while, maybe he was used to this bit of Buzz's routine. Judging by the way the boy was relaxed against him, and how he was holding onto Tom, he was certainly used to it.
"He does read Buzz a story every night." he'd mentioned it before, and we'd all heard it too, when we walked past Buzz's room at night. He must have been used to this bit, felt confident in what he was doing at this part of parenting.
We watched as Tom finished the book, taking a second to pausing and cuddle Buzz closer, wrapping both of his arms around his son, kissing his forehead. The baby was nearly asleep, eyes drooping and hands slacking in this hold on Tom's shirt.
Then he stood, taking Buzz to his cot, placing him in it and tucking him in. But then he didn't leave, he sat next to the cot, sticking his fingers through the bars and reaching out to hold onto his son's hand. He didn't say a thing, he just... watched his son fall asleep, and then continued to watch him sleep, not taking his eyes away from him for a very long time.
"What's he doing?" Danny asked, looking confused as he watched the monitor.
"Watching his son sleep? Has he done that before?" I didn't think he had, in fact I was sure of it. I didn't know why, but I had this feeling that Tom hadn't done this before, he'd gone once Buzz had fallen asleep. He did when the baby was napping during the day after all.
"I don't think he has." Harry answered, none of us knowing what to make of this. What could we make of this? Was it a good thing? Was it a bad thing? Was it just a thing? I didn't understand, none of Tom's behaviour made sense. He didn't seem to want to spent more time with Buzz during the day, and didn't make any efforts to, but now he was doing this? It wasn't... I didn't get what he was doing.
Tom didn't move for so long, long enough for me to think he'd fallen asleep against the cot. Eventually though, he got up, slowly taking his fingers away, instead leaning over the cot and kissing his sons head.
"I love you, so much. A-And, I'm going to do better, for you." He whispered, before turning to leave, hesitating at the door, turning back for one last look at the baby before leaving.
What the hell was that?!