SWEET TITS OF ANDRASTE, THIS CHAPTER IS LONG.
I am SO sorry, guys. I tried to end it in this chapter, but it's too goddamn long! So I broke it into two parts. I have no idea when the final chapter will be up.
And then, after that, the sequel.
But I've been updating like crazy because, I don't know. My muse is random, and it fired up. And I wasn't about to let my inspiration waste away while I did nothing.
A bit of angst, a bit of fighting, a bit of lovin', a bit of fluff, this chapter has it all.
It might be the longest one I've written, ever.
And there are probably a lot of errors.
But, yea. BE HAPPY.
And review? PLEASE?
Daylen
This wave of protective anger he feels astounds him.
When they finally manage to gather everyone up and start the journey back to Redcliffe, he keeps an arm around Avina's shoulders to keep her steady and away from Alistair.
He's not the only one who's angry.
Wynne has not stopped giving Alistair sad, disapproving looks. Daylen could tell from the conversation she had with Avina that she expected that if anyone were to be hurt in their relationship, it would be Alistair. Instead, Avina is the one who's heart is mangled.
He wondered if Wynne knew that Avina was just as inexperienced as Alistair when it came to romance.
Shale and Sten constantly stand between the two as they go, and Shale looks as if she'd be willing to crush Alistair's head if Avina would give the word.
Every mile or so Oghren asks Avina if she wants a break, if she's doing all right.
Morrigan is perhaps the most concerned she's ever been. She stands on her other side, and there she remains whenever they run into trouble.
Zevran seems to be continually trying to get her to smile, to laugh, to forget.
Leliana and Griffon seem to be the only neutral companions. They care, of course, but they're the only ones who aren't glaring at Alistair like they want to maim him.
Daylen and Leliana have teamed up to keep them both sober enough to fight.
It's not likely that they'll be much of a help against the darkspawn if they're falling over drunk.
Oghren can do it, but he's had years of practice. So they'll be restrained until after the defeat of the archdemon.
Avina
Though she's only been drunk once, being sober is the last thing she wants to be right now.
When she was drunk, she forgot. The pain, and everything that went with it, was shoved to the back of her mind to bother her when they took the drink away from her.
It's only when they start on their way with Daylen on one side, Morrigan on the other, with Sten and Shale protecting her, she realizes she'll manage.
She's not okay. She's far from okay, but she'll make it. At least for a little while.
Her eyes can't stop from drifting over to him, no matter how much she tells herself it will hurt. He looks as if someone beat the hell out of him.
And she hopes none of them decided to beat him up.
No matter how much he hurt her, this is painful for him too, she knows. They don't need to make it worse.
At one of their stops, she manages to slip away from Daylen's protective hold on her and sneak over to where Alistair sits alone, sharpening his blade.
As she approaches, he looks up in surprise, accidentally dropping his sword.
"Hi," he blurts, then looks down.
She raises her hand, and he flinches as if afraid she'll slap him.
But as a blue light flows from her hand into his bruised cheek, he seems to calm.
"What happened?" she whispers.
Alistair sighs. "Shale."
Avina lets out an almost-laugh. "Ah."
"Did you need something?" He asks.
"I just..." she covers her face. "I wanted... to talk about... us."
But he just sighs and looks away from her again. "I thought we'd already said everything that needed saying."
"How can you expect me to accept this?" She says quietly. "I can't, Alistair. I just can't."
"That doesn't change the facts," he points out. "I... I love you, Avina. I'll always love you. But there are things that are more important than what I want. I wish... more than anything... that it were otherwise."
Her shoulders slump in defeat as she exhales. "I know," she murmurs. "I just wish it were easier."
Alistair's face twists in pain, and he nods. "I don't think anything's supposed to be easy about being a king. Or a Grey Warden. We have a job to do, so please... let's focus on the task at hand. Thinking about you is just too painful. And too tempting."
So she leaves him alone, just as Daylen returns from filling his canteen.
She doesn't approach him again.
Alistair
Her visit almost breaks his resolve.
How can she be so forgiving still? So considerate of his feelings, when he's crushed hers so thoroughly?
It only reminds him of why he fell for her.
And it hurts more than anything.
Morrigan
Before she met Daylen, Morrigan had never been in love.
Before she met Avina, Morrigan had never had anyone she considered a friend.
But with the knowledge she's gained from these relationships, she knows how Avina feels.
It would be just as painful if Daylen were to leave her.
For the first bit of time, she was shocked. If anyone would bend the rules, no matter what the were for, to be with the one they loved, she thought it would have been Alistair. The sap was crazy for Avina, and she for him.
Now, Morrigan finds herself rather disappointed in Alistair's lack of stubbornness in this issue.
But somehow, this makes her realize just how much she has right now.
And how unwilling she is to lose it.
Her friend, her love, her child...
Her plans are crumbling. And yet, she cannot bring herself to care. When it comes down to it, she is where she wants to be.
Daylen
They arrive at Redcliffe to find it in ruin.
Of course. Because this job can't be easy.
One of the villagers run towards them as they approach.
"It's... its' you! The Grey Wardens!" He pants. "Andraste's mercy that you got here when you did! I thought for sure these monsters were going to get me."
"What happened?" Dalyen demands.
"Where is everyone?" Avina asks.
The survivor points towards the castle. "They all fled to the castle this morning, before the darkspawn arrived. I thought I could make it to my place and back before they got here, but it took me too long to get down here. What a relief you arrived!"
"Go on," Daylen urges. "Get to safety."
The survivor nods. "I'm going to get out of here before any more of those things arrive! Thank you again!"
Making it to the castle is a lot easier than Daylen thought it would be.
But the darkspawn reach the gates just as they do.
Two ogres, among dozens of other darkspawn come in, but with the aid of Redcliffe soldiers, they manage to fight them off without trouble.
When the final beast falls, one of the soldiers finally greets them. "Grey Wardens! You're here! Thank goodness!"
"What happened here?" Daylen asks.
"I don't rightly know," the man admits. "Riordan of the Grey Wardens arrived this morning just ahead of the darkspawn. I was told that he has urgent news, and to send out patrols to watch for your arrival. Then we were attacked..."
"Take us inside immediately, then," Daylen orders. "There can be no more delays!"
The man nods. "I'll take you to the hall right away, my lord. They'll be waiting for you there."
Riordan, Eamon, and Teagan are there waiting for them when they arrive.
Riordan smiles as they enter. "It's a relief to see you unharmed. And you as well, Alistair... or shoud I say your Majesty?"
Alistair frowns slightly. "Err... no. No, I wouldn't say that. Not yet, anyway."
"The darkspawn that attacked Redcliffe were relatively few in number, I'm afraid," Riordan informs them. "It was assumed that the horde was marching in this direction... but that is not true."
"Riordan tells us that the bulk of the horde is, in fact, heading towards Denerim. They are perhaps two days away from the capital," Eamon tells them.
Alistair gapes. "What? Are we sure about that? I mean... if that's true..."
Riordan nods. "I ventured close enough to 'listen in,' as it were. I am quite certain."
Daylen steps forward. "Then we need to march at once."
"There is, I'm afraid, one other piece of news that is of even greater concern," Riordan warns. "The archdemon has shown itself. The dragon is at the head of the horde."
Bann Teagan sucks in a sharp breath. "Maker preserve us!"
"But we can't reach Denerim within two days, can we?" Alistair reminds them. "It's too far."
It may have taken them, a small group, a short time to reach Redcliffe from Denerim, but an army... One without horses in the hundreds...
"We must begin a forced march to the capital immediately, with what we have," Eamon says firmly. "Denerim must be defended at all costs."
"The archdemon is what's important," Daylen says.
"And only the Grey Wardens can defeat the archdemon," Riordan agrees. "That is why we must go."
"Then we march," Alistair declares. "And hope the army we've collected here gives us the chance we need. Arl Eamon, how long before the army can set out?"
"By daybreak," he replies gravely.
Alistair nods. "Then let's get them ready. I won't let all thoe people die without giving them a chance."
"Let's do it," Daylen encourages.
"I will give the orders at once," Eamon says. "And will notify you the moment we are ready to march."
"That would be appreciated," Alistair tells him.
Riordan stops them before they all leave. "If you two and Alistair could meet me before you retire, we have Grey Warden business to discuss."
"I will have someone show you to your rooms," Eamon offers. "I suggest you all get some rest, while you can. We will need it."
Daylen knows better than to put of something when it, and time, are so important.
So he goes right upstairs and into Riordan's room to hear what it has to say.
Because he has a feeling, this is not going to be good.
Riordan is waiting for them, his face grave. "You're all here. Good."
The three of them nod.
"You are new to the Grey Wardens," Riordan continues. "And you may not have been told how an archdemon is slain. I need ot know if that is so."
Alistair raises an eyebrow. "You mean there's more than just, say, chopping off it's head?"
Riordan sighs. "So it is true. Duncan had not yet told you. I had simply assumed... Tell me, have you ever wondered why the Grey Wardens are needed to defeat the darkspawn?"
"I have wondered that, yes," Daylen says.
"The archdemon may be slain as any other darkspawn, but should any other than a Grey Warden do the slaying, it will not be enough."
Avina swallows. "And... what happens to the Grey Warden?"
"A darkspawn is an empty, soulless vessel," Riordan explains. "But a Grey Warden is not. The essence of the archdemon is destroyed... and so is the Grey Warden."
Alistair's brows lower in realization. "Meaning... the Grey Warden who kills the archdemon... dies?"
Riordan nods. "Yes. Without the archdemon, the Blight ends. It is the only way."
"Then I would like to take the final blow," Avina states.
Daylen looks over at her, a hardened, stronger version of what she once was.
Riordan shakes his head. "If possible, the final blow should be mine to make. I am the eldest, and the taint will not spare me much longer. But if I fall, the deed falls on you. The Blight must be stopped now or it will destroy all of Ferelden before the rest of the Grey Wardens can assemble. Remember that. But enough," he says. "There will be much to do tomorrow and little enough time to rest before it. I will let you return to your rooms."
Alistair turns to Daylen. "I will see you once the army is ready to march, then. I guess this ends soon, one way or another."
"That it does, my friend, Riordan agrees. "That is does."
Avina
Avina hurries to her room, the one beside Alistair's, to prepare, and quickly shuts the door behind her, not realizing that she is not alone.
When the door latches, a voice startles her.
"I need your help."
"Morrigan?" She blurts in surprise. "What-"
Morrigan cuts her off. "It's more important than you know that you trust me now, please! There is no one else I trust enough to turn to."
Avina looks bewildered, but she is not one to deny help when it is needed. Part of the reason why she's a good choice. "Okay, Morrigan, but, please tell me what's going on."
"I know what happens when the archdemon dies," she says urgently, quietly, as if she expects to be overheard. "A life must be sacrificed, and that sacrifice could be any one of you."
"How-?"
"Let me finish," Morrigan says quickly. "I have a way that this can be avoided. I have a way out. A loop in your hole. A ritual. Performed on the eve of battle, in the dark of night."
If anything, Avina looks more and more confused by the second. "Um, alright, what is this ritual?"
"What would need to happen is this: convince Alistair to lay with you, here, tonight. And from your union, a child will be conceived. That child will bear the taint. Once the archdemon is defeated, it's essence will seek the child like a beacon. At that stage, the child can absorb the soul, and not perish."
Avina is speechless. She opens and closes her mouth, not knowing what to say, slowly shaking her head in disbelief.
"If you care for him the way you seem to, then you will do this, for him, and for all of us," Morrigan urges.
"Alistair would not agree to this, even if I did," Avina mutters, looking down at her feet. "He does not want me anymore."
Morrigan frowns deeply. "Then you are both fools. Even Sten can see how much that buffoon still loves you, and how you love him in return."
Avina lets out a shuddering breath. "I can't," she whispers. "He won't... he wouldn't..."
"You can," Morrigan says firmly. "You needn't say anything about the ritual if you don't wish to. Once he has laid with you, it will be done. No life will need to be given."
Avina bites her lip for a moment, deliberating. "But the child," she protests. "I would have a child?"
"One possessing the soul of an old god," Morrigan confirms. "And you need not raise it alone."
Avina's eyes widen at the offer. "Would it... would the child be alright?"
"Yes. The child would not be harmed."
Avina covers her eyes to think for a moment.
But her choice has already been made.
Deep down, she knows how much Alistair still loves her. And she knows that, given the chance, he will take the final blow. To protect her. To protect them all.
And Daylen... Just thinking of his arrogant smirk reminds her of another piece of her family she is not willing to lose. One she would do anything to protect. He's a good man underneath it all, and he will do anything that must be done.
"There is one more thing I have to tell you... you're the only one I can bring this to, so please, listen..."
Daylen
Daylen is going to have so much fun going to sleep tonight.
He gets himself ready, getting out of his robes and climbing under the covers of the bed for a good long time of staring at the ceiling.
At least, that was the plan until Morrigan comes in, a troubled look on her face, and she closes the door behind her and strips down to her smallclothes on her way to his bed.
It's almost as if she knows what he's thinking. Someone will die tomorrow, and that someone could be him.
He holds the covers up for her as she climbs in, and she settles into his arms.
"Are you alright?" He whispers.
Wordlessly, she nods, but he can tell she's not telling the truth.
He slides a hand under her chin and forces her to look at him. "Morrigan," he murmurs. "What is it? What's wrong?"
She takes a deep breath. "Do you love me, Daylen?"
It's certainly odd for her to ask this at this point, but he nods anyway. "Of course I do. And there's nothing you can do about it."
Her lower lip quivers. "If I told you something that changed what we have, would you hate me?"
Daylen huffs. "No. Even if you told me you were running off with Sten." He pretends to think about it. "Okay, maybe not that... this isn't what you want to tell me, right?"
She shakes her head. "Daylen, I..."
He rubs her back reassuringly. "It's alright. Just take your time."
She closes her eyes for a moment, as if afraid Daylen will explode when she tells him what's on her mind.
"I'm... with child."
Daylen blinks.
Then he blinks again.
And inhales sharply.
Well.
"You're... pregnant," he says slowly.
Morrigan nods.
"With my child," he clarifies.
Again, she nods, awaiting his response.
"I didn't know that was possible," he laughs quietly, almost disbelievingly.
But he knows Morrigan would never lie about something like this.
"How long have you known?"
"Since the Deep Roads," she says quietly.
Daylen blanches. "What- Morrigan, why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know," she muttered, somewhat defensively. "How was I to know how you'd respond? 'Tis not something I have ever experienced before, and I-"
He pulls her closer, hushing her. "It's alright. It's just... a big thing." He almost grins like an idiot. "I'd never thought that I would have a child. Not in the Circle, and not after I'd become a Warden..."
"If you do not want a child with me, I will respect your wishes," Morrigan tells him.
He looks at her as if she's crazy. "Nonsense!" He declares. "I will train him in his magical ability, and he'll be the most handsome and talented boy who ever lived!" He looks back at her, more seriously this time. "I told you I wouldn't abandon you, Morrigan," he reminds her. "That hasn't changed, especially if you carry something so special to both of us. If you would rather I go, rather I leave you alone, however, I would not force you to stay with me. I would only ask for a chance to help raise our child. He deserves to have both parents."
Morrigan looks at him skeptically. "How do you know it will be a boy?"
"Because I'm magical," he argues, and his head ducks under the covers.
"What are you doing?" Morrigan demands, peeking beneath the blankets at him.
His hands come around her waist, holding her in place, and he gently places a kiss where their child slumbers in her womb.
Avina
Avina fusses with her hair before her vanity, arranging her long waves prettily around her face.
She wears a silken white nightgown, one given to her by Isolde. It's very pretty, but she worries she'll look too needy, too desperate.
With a sigh, she turns from the mirror and puts her face in her hands.
How will she be able to do this? If she cannot leave her room without second-guessing herself...
The knock on her door startles her out of her thoughts, and she rushes over to the door. Is it Morrigan, telling her to act fast? Is she being warned of darkspawn, attacking the castle? Has something happened? Is something wrong?
She pulls the door open, and freezes.
"Alistair?" she whispers.
He stands outside her door, wearing a nightshirt and trousers. He looks tired, as if he is unable to sleep as well. He swallows, then clears his throat.
"Can I... come in?"
Wordlessly, she steps aside for him so he may pass into the room and closes the door behind him.
When she turns, he is standing in the center of the room, looking into her fireplace, his back to her. He is tense, she can tell, from the way he stands.
She can't think of a thing to say.
Finally, he faces her. There are lines on his face that should have no business on such a young man. He looks older than he ever has, and it's obvious to her now that he hasn't been sleeping well for a while from the dark circles under his eyes.
"So, this could be it," he says quietly.
He has come to say goodbye.
She is across the room in an instant, her arms thrown around his neck as she stretches on her toes to reach his lips with hers. He hesitates only a moment before responding, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her tightly to him.
He kisses her like he is a drowning man and she is air, hungrily, passionately, with an edge of despair. In his mind, he thinks this is the last night he will ever have.
Avina kisses him back with the same desperation, because she knows this is the last night she will share with him.
He sheds his shirt as she leads him towards her bed, and pulls the nightgown off over her head. There are no words now. Only need, heated and frantic and demanding between them. They both know they won't get the chance to be together again when tomorrow comes. And right then, the thought is unbearable.
When it's over, and he's sleeping with an arm around her, she lets the tears she's been holding in for so long well up and spill over. She kisses each of his cheeks, his forehead, then finally his lips.
"I love you," she whispers brokenly, so quietly that she can barely hear herself.
An apology, for what will come when the sun rises. He will never see her again when the fight is over.
As she falls asleep in his warm, comforting embrace, tears staining the sheets, she prays that he will forgive her someday.
She wakes just before dawn, her room dark, her bed cold and empty.
"Alistair?"
There is no answer.
She is alone.
On the pillow where he laid, she feels the cold of metal. She lights a candle to see.
There, just beside her, is an amulet. Familiar to her, silver, with many cracks on it's aged surface...
Fresh tears fall down her cheeks as she pulls the sheet over herself, as if that will block out the pain.
He is gone.
And is certain he will die.
Morning comes too quickly, and they begin the march that will decide everything.
No one says a word on the trip.
Perhaps they are too nervous. Perhaps they simply have nothing to say.
Whatever their reasons, the silence hangs heavy over them as they urge their army forward as fast as they can.
To Avina, the trip is a blur. It seems quick to her, almost too quick for her liking.
At last, they arrive in Denerim, which is absolute chaos.
But strangely, Avina is not afraid anymore.
She thought she would be, but she isn't.
Before, she had something to die for. But something to live for is even more valuable.
With both, it leave her more determined than before.
But why should she fear? She and her companions lead the charge, and as she looks around her she sees the best that Ferelden has to offer.
Daylen Amell, the insufferable battlemage.
Alistair.
Morrigan, the Witch of the Wilds.
Griffon.
Leliana, the bard from Orlais.
Sten of the Beresaad.
Wynne, of the Circle of Magi.
Zevran, the former Antivan Crow.
Shale the golem.
Oghren, of the Orzammar knight-caste.
She stands with the bravest, most skilled fighters in Thedas, and with them, she could accomplish anything.
Defeating the Blight? No problem.
Daylen
The gates are absolutely crawling with darkspawn, but he fights like he's never fought before.
Void take them if they think they can take him away from what he has now.
They spread out, going in all different directions to fight off the darkspawn.
These beasts never stood a chance.
Riordan manages to catch up to him once the fighting dies down a bit.
"You've manages to fight your way to the gates," he notes. "We're doing better than I hoped."
Sten crosses his arms. "That will change quickly."
"Bloody nug runners," Oghren curses. "We're outnumbered three to one!"
"What are we to do now, Riordan?" Wynne asks. "You have a plan, I assume?"
"The army will not last long, so we'll need to move quickly to reach the archdemon," he tells them. "I suggest taking Alistair and no more than two others with you into the city. Anyone you don't bring with you can remain here to prevent more darkspawn from entering Denerim on our tails."
Daylen scratches his head. "How are we going to fight a flying dragon?"
"We're going to need to reach a high point in the city..." Riordan thinks for a moment. "I'm thinking the top of Fort Drakon might work."
Alistair gapes at him. "The top of...? You want to draw the dragon's attention?"
Riordan nods. "We have little choice, though I warn you that as soon as we engage the beast it will call all its generals to help it. I can sense two generals in Denerim. You may wish to seek them out before going to Fort Drakon."
"I'm sure that if we did slay those generals, it would stop the darkspawn in the city from doing a lot of harm," Leliana adds.
"It may also waste resources trying to find them," Riordan tells them. "The decision is up to you."
Daylen nods. "I'm ready."
"Who do you wish to take with you into the city?"
"Alistair, Zevran, and Oghren," Daylen decides.
"Fair enough," Riordan says. "Anyone else will need to remain here and assist in keeping more darkspawn from coming in the gates behind us. Who will lead them?"
"Sten would be suitable," Avina tells them.
Sten nods. "Very likely."
"Good. That should be sufficient." Riordan looks to Daylen. "Nothing you have done has prepared you for what you face now. May the Maker watch over you."
Daylen shakes his hand. "You as well."
They will all need it.
Avina
Before they go, they have a chance for a final goodbye from their companions. They all crowd around them as they prepare to go, each of them stopping at one of them to say their goodbyes.
Oghren comes to her first. "So. This is it."
"It's been an honor to fight with you, Oghren," she tells him honestly.
Oghren smiles. "Honor? Nobody's looked at me and seen honor in a long time, Warden. You took in a drunken disgrace of an Orzammar warrior. You gave me a reason to fight and the will to keep going. You helped me find the one woman in the sodding world who might put up with me, and you helped me get past Branka so I could have someone new. I owe you a lot, Warden. I consider it a fine honor to die for you and your cause."
Avina claps him on the shoulder. "The honor is mine, my friend."
Oghren chuckles. "Then it's sodding honor for everyone. That's war for you. Let the stone turn red from the blood of heroes. Today I will be the warrior you taught me to be."
And he moves on.
Shale comes next.
"So the archdemon is next, is it?" She asks. "Part of me is glad that it has decided to leave me here at the gate, but the other part is... apprehensive? I would almost say that I feel concern for something other than myself, even maybe for a soft, squishy companion... but that would be silly, wouldn't it?"
This has to be the sweetest thing Shale has ever said.
"Thank you, Shale," Avina tells her. "I appreciate the thought."
Shale turns to go, then looks back. "And... do try not to get swallowed whole. If the beast were to fly about afterwards and poop it out, irony would dictate that it would land on me. I couldn't take it."
Avina can't help but laugh.
"Well, then," Shale says. "I suppose this is it? Have fun storming the castle."
Griffon trots up to her, looking at her with his sad puppy eyes.
She ruffles his ears. "Don't worry," she says. "I'll come back."
He gives her a wolfy grin, barking happily.
Sten is next.
"Are you ready?" He asks. "We have reached the battlefield at last."
"Thank you for your help, Sten," she murmurs.
He shakes his head. "I have done nothing. You have carried us this far. Do not doubt that."
Avina smiles, knowing she will never forget him.
Leliana steps forward. "So, this is it... this is the end. We've come so far. It's strange knowing that all our fates will be decided in a matter of hours." She looks somewhat disappointed. "I wish I could go with you."
"Me too," Avina admits.
Leliana has become her best friend over the time they've spent together.
Leliana bows her head for a moment. "You have been a true friend and I... I will be extremely cross with you if you... don't return. Be careful out there. I will see you soon."
Then Zevran is swaggering up to her, a grin in place as if he has no cares in the world. "So now we head into the city together to face the archdemon, hmm? Good. I was nearly afraid you were about to march inside without me. We cannot have that!"
Avina laughs. "No, we can't."
"Let us go and teach this dragon a lesson, yes?" He says. "It should have stayed in whatever hole it crawled out of."
There's a tap on her shoulder, and she turns to see Morrigan standing beside her.
"I will see you when this is all over," she states firmly. As if there is no question at all.
Avina surprises her by pulling her into a hug.
"Yes, I will," she promises. "Thank you for everything." And she releases her.
Morrigan smiles. It might be the first smile Avina has seen that wasn't a smirk or sarcastic sneer. "Go, slay your archdemon. Live gloriously, my friend."
When she turns back, Alistair is there.
"This is it," he says quietly.
There is so much he is saying in those three words. His despair, his decision to take the final blow, his pain...
She can't stand it.
Like another time, she throws her arms around his neck and forces his head down so she can meet his lips with hers.
She thinks perhaps he'll fight, push her away, but after a moment of hesitation he pulls her to him, angling his head and opening his lips to her.
She doesn't know how long they stay like that. It's as if this moment doesn't exist; that when they break apart, the world will go on, but for now time stands still.
But they have a city, and a country, to protect.
She pulls back, resting her forehead against his. "I love you, Alistair," she breathes.
"And I love you," he responds. "Always."
And just like that, time is up.
Time to be a Grey Warden.