AFTER THE STORM
PART 4: I TOOK YOU BY THE HAND, AND WE STOOD TALL
Castiel marveled at the tiny fingers clutching his hand. Sam's grip had not relaxed since falling asleep four hours ago. In fact, the boy had not moved at all in that time. Castiel wondered if that was normal. In his previous observations, the only time Sam slept this deeply was when it verged on the edge of unconsciousness.
I can hear you thinking from over here, Cassie. Gabriel's voice whispered in Castiel's mind. The archangel had been unnaturally silent since sprawling across the couch.
Castiel tried to look over his shoulder, but gave up. It would require him to let go of Sam, and Dean had strictly warned him against such action. I am amazed at Sam's stillness. It is not his usual sleep behavior.
The crinkling of a candy wrapper came from Gabriel's vicinity. I'm not surprised the kid's crashed. The healing alone was enough to knock an adult angel out. Combine that with the events of the past couple days? Sam is due for a coma-level sleep.
Castiel conceded the point, but it was still unnerving. His gaze moved from the child's face, soft in sleep, to the grace wrapped tight around Sam's entire being. It glowed with all their combined energies—emerald swirled with gold and sapphire. And underneath the swaddling layers was the light of Sam's own grace pressing as close as possible against the brilliant colors.
Pure contentment flowed through their bonds. The feeling echoed back to Castiel from both archangels. They were all still pushing tiny amounts of grace into the wrap, and it was enhancing their natural mental connections. He couldn't remember a time he'd ever felt more like an angel than he did in this moment.
Raphael moved toward the bed. He had maintained his vigil by the doorway like a stone sentry, but now he came into Castiel's line of sight. The Healer's steps were slow as he studied Sam's sleeping form. His face revealed a deep concentration and heavy thoughts.
Castiel frowned, his worry spiking as he quickly scanned Sam, fearing he'd missed some change. What is wrong? he asked when he found nothing amiss. There hadn't even been a fluctuation in the boy's temperature since Raphael had finished healing him.
The crevices carved into the archangel's ancient face deepened as he seemed to consider his words carefully. Since my creation, I have been personally involved in raising every angel through their fledgling stage—until now. Samuel has only known my touch in moments of extreme pain and fear. He does not recognize my songs. Nor does he trust what he should instinctively know. Everything he does is counter to my expectations and experience.
Gabriel snorted. Get used to it. Sam only has his human experience to draw on. And most of his life was crap. Everything he knows tells him not to trust people who claim they want to help. Angels are probably at the top of that list—right above demons.
Raphael radiated discomfort at the idea. I would accuse you of exaggerating if I had not seen it myself. He has an amazing amount of willpower, but a skewed sense on how it should be applied. The combination is dangerous in one so young.
The Winchesters' determination has become well-known to this world over the years, Castiel said with a sad smile. I have seen them overcome many obstacles and enemies on that trait alone.
How often has that been to their detriment? Raphael asked.
About as often as it's been their salvation, Castiel answered honestly.
Pig-headed, stubborn humans! Gabriel interjected fiercely, but his tone way betrayed by the flood of fond affection. Taking on archangels and Auntie Amara with nothing but big sad eyes and a fucking speech. And you are just as bad as the brothers, Cassie. Dad above, you three are stupid! I swear, sometimes I love you idiots so much it makes me want to puke.
Castiel froze. To speak of love so freely did not happen in his world. Heaven had lost the language of love eons ago, and the Winchesters stumbled their way through affection with clumsy half-hugs and alcoholic peace offerings. They had improved lately—Mary's presence and Sam's transformation meant a lot of things from the past were being revisited. Old wounds were beginning to heal. But for Castiel, declarations of love were rare.
He swallowed hard and kept his eyes on where Sam's fingers dug into his vessel's skin. Well, if we are a flock of fools, then you should feel right at home.
Yes, he should, Raphael said as he sank down on the empty twin bed. Castiel looked up to find himself on the receiving end of the Healer's warm gaze. All of you stood against convention to stay true to your convictions—and all of you have suffered great consequences. Isolation, pain, judgment. The burden of being responsible for the whole world is a heavy weight to bare alone. I can honestly say that you all deserve each other.
Gabriel sniffed loudly. Yeah? Well, you make me want to puke, too.
A few years ago, Castiel would have questioned Gabriel's word-choice. Vomiting was not something he'd associated with an abundance of love. But he knew better now.
Love overwhelmed to the point of discomfort, yet he clung to the sensation. It tore his insides apart, unbalancing a lifetime of training and expectations. He loved his siblings, but it was a love bound in duty and rooted in the distant past. It paled in comparison to what Castiel felt for the people gathered in this small space.
I do not quite understand your phrasing, brother. But I love you as well. Raphael replied.
Gabriel chuckled softly. Give it time—the longer you spend linked to your vessel, the more you'll feel emotions on a physical level. Sometimes, it's unpleasant.
So I am discovering. I have always been more an observer of humanity, but there were occasions when I walked among them. Raphael rubbed a hand over his chest like it ached. I do not remember it being like this when I took vessels before. It was uncomfortable, but never so...visceral. I cannot say I see the appeal.
Meh, it'll grow on you, Gabriel assured him. Fair warning though—you shouldn't tell the Winchesters that you don't see the fun in being human. From what I've seen and heard, they'll just try to introduce you to more human experiences until you find something you enjoy. Or until your reactions stop amusing them.
Raphael's head tilted in amusement. What does that entail, exactly?
It will mostly center around tasting food and drink. They can also be particularly sensitive to reactions toward their favorite musical selections. Castiel answered, grimacing at memories of Dean getting offended over having his music questioned.
He really just means "don't piss Dean off over his classic rock or he'll make your life a living hell," Gabriel clarified and Castiel rolled his eyes. Don't you roll your eyes at me, Cas-a-fras!
Raphael chuckled softly as Castiel tried glaring over his shoulder at the younger archangel. I never thought I would hear you lecture a seraph on using a gesture you invented.
Oh please! Like Cassie got any of this from me. The couch squeaked and soft footsteps smacked across the floor. Gabriel's small form stomped all the way to stand in front of Raphael. Castiel expected him to aim a tirade at the Healer and was surprised when Gabriel turned to face him instead. It made Castiel want to flatten his vessel lower into the bed, like an archangel couldn't see through some pile of pillows. Don't get me wrong, Raphael—I totally had my eyes on the little tyke back in the day. So serious about everything, but not cold and disconnected. Curious enough to ask questions with no concern for anything other than gaining knowledge. How could I not want to foster that into something a little more...fun?
Castiel felt the sincerity of his words through their bond, and it kicked up a cloud of confusion in his mind. Gabriel had singled him out as a potential student? Partner in crime? When? Why? It made no sense.
What is he doing? Raphael asked Gabriel while staring at Castiel.
Gabriel let out a huff and plopped on the bed beside Raphael. Pulling a sucker out of the air, he leaned wearily against the older archangel as though unable to remain upright. He's working himself into an existential crisis. It happens a lot around these three. Especially if you challenge their self-perceptions.
Raphael's eyes turned sharp on Castiel, and the seraph wondered if Sam felt this exposed around other angels all the time. They stared at each other for almost a full minute before Raphael broke the silence. Gabriel, why did you wish to mentor Castiel?
Gabriel smiled and tilted his head back to look up at Raphael. Because he reminded me of you. And you always needed more fun in your life. The smile slipped away. But then Lucifer...I knew I had to leave. There was no way to predict Heaven's response, and no guarantee the flock wouldn't find me within a day or two anyway. I had to go alone.
The silence was heavy. Castiel focused on checking Sam again to make sure the emotional conversation wasn't bleeding through their grace. He was still in deep sleep, but his grace now shifted lazily along the wrap. Calming his own inner turmoil, Castiel laid a hand on top of Sam's head and sent him feelings of peace. He hoped some of it reached Gabriel.
That was excellently done, Castiel. Raphael sounded pleased and slightly surprised.
Thank you. Sir. Castiel replied without looking up. This Raphael was a stranger to him, overshadowed by the person he became long before the apocalypse. That person had been cold and empty, a shell that contained nothing but power. Now, though, Raphael exuded something that Castiel had only recently started to associate with Gabriel.
Gabriel snorted. Sir? You never call me sir. Not that I want you to start!
I assure you, the thought never crossed my mind. Castiel mentally mumbled.
Do you hear that, Raphael? That's what I'm talking about! Gabriel waved his arms in Castiel's direction. All that sass and it didn't even come from me, he ended on a pout.
And where, pray tell, did young Castiel learn all your most cherished traits?
Where do you think? The Winchesters took responsibility for corrupting him like it was their life-mission, Gabriel explained.
Castiel frowned. The Winchesters did not corrupt me, Gabriel.
Really? Gabriel gave him a slow grin that made him uneasy. So Dean didn't take you to a brothel?
What? His jaw dropped in surprise. Of all the things, how did Gabriel even know about that?
Are you denying it? Gabriel leaned forward with narrowed eyes.
What?! Castiel repeated. How—?
Sam tattled on you, the archangel said with a wink. You calling the new baby a liar? That's pretty low, Castiel. I'm disappointed.
No! I...That's not what... Castiel felt himself get flustered, caught between a rock and a hard place.
A brothel? Raphael asked, clearly amused.
It...It was the night we summoned you into a ring of holy fire. We did not expect to survive. Dean was very concerned I would 'die a virgin' on his watch. Castiel refused to meet the archangels' eyes.
Man, you guys love doing that, don't you? Gabriel shook his head.
Love what? Castiel scoffed. De-flowering virgins or walking knowingly toward certain death?
Yes. Both. But I'm mostly talking about trapping your siblings in holy fire so you can talk to them. Gabriel teased, but there was an undercurrent of seriousness.
The whole topic had Castiel on edge. He shifted on the bed, wishing he could stand up and move around. I do not believe either of you would have been very willing to speak with us otherwise. Besides, I was not involved in your capture, Gabriel. You kept me from interfering in that lesson by locking me away in a pocket universe.
True. Gabriel sighed and flopped against Raphael's side again. It wasn't my best moment.
I do not understand the significance of 'dying a virgin' on Dean Winchester's watch. Raphael shook his head.
Castiel pressed his face into the pillow and groaned.
They fell into a comfortable silence after that. It lasted a solid hour when Castiel felt the change—Sam's breath hitched before it changed to quick, shallow pants. The boy furrowed his brow and tried to curl onto his side without letting go of anyone's hand.
Recognizing the onset of a nightmare, Castiel called out, Gabriel! They were rarely given the chance to prevent Sam's sleep terrors, but Gabriel had proven to be the fastest and most effective at deterring them. The archangel's power and experience working within human minds far exceeded Castiel's own.
There was a rush of wings and he felt the end of the mattress dip down. A glance showed the archangel crouching at Sam's feet. Raphael stood up and leaned over Dean, two fingers extended like a priest offering benediction. The Healer's grace glowed, igniting the space with light.
Raphael, pull it back, Gabriel ordered and there was instant obedience. If Sam wakes up mid-nightmare, this grace-wrap may be a problem. Cut it down to the bare-minimum so it isn't a shock to his system if we have to undo it quickly.
The brilliant colors encasing Sam dimmed, fading down to a faint shimmer. It seemed to ease some of the tension building in the small body, but it caused the boy's grace to stir at the change. Castiel pushing the curls back from the scrunched up face, whispering, "Shh..."
Castiel's mind caught bursts of images and emotions, and he heard Gabriel gasp.
Metal bars lit by a red glow. Cold, sharper than ice against skin, freezes lungs and burns eyes as empty laughter echoes. A man's voice saying, "You think we left them alive...the man who bore the Mark of Cain and the thing wearing your dead mother's body?" Fear and numbness war for dominance.
Oh Dad, Gabriel said as he laid a hand on Sam's leg. Talk to him, Cas. He likes your voice best.
That's not true. He prefers Dean. As though summoned by his words, Castiel saw the hunter raise his head and blink at them.
"Wha's goin' on?" Dean slurred, still mostly asleep. He swung his head around to the angels all hovering over the bed.
"Sam is having a nightmare," Castiel whispered. "We are trying to keep him from waking."
Dean's focus immediately went to his brother. The boy had sweat beading along his brow, and he was making little grunts behind thin, trembling lips. Sighing, the hunter swung his right arm over Sam's curled form and pulled him closer. Castiel felt the sharp fingers dig into his palm and allowed his arm to follow them across the bed.
Sam shook his head, eyes clenched shut, just on the verge of waking up. "Dee..." he mumbled in protest.
Dean made shushing noises and helped him turn until the small body was nestled into his side, half-draped over his chest. "Sleep, Sammy," he said into messy hair. His left arm curled up to rest as a heavy, reassuring weight along Sam's side.
The move dislodged the boy's hold on Castiel's hand. He stared down at the tiny half-moon impressions left behind. Before he could begin mourning the loss of contact, Sam's arm reached out blindly and closed around the bottom corner of the trench coat. With one determined tug, the boy wrapped the tan fabric around himself and melted back into sleep.
"Welcome to life as Sammy's security blanket," Dean said as his eyes drifted closed. He was out before Castiel could ask what that meant.
Well, that was exciting. Gabriel's words were flippant, but his tone was shaky.
Castiel kept an eye on him while carefully rearranging the pillow pile. The archangel remained crouching in the center of the bed, looking troubled and lost in thought. Are you alright, Gabriel? he asked as he scooted closer to the brothers. It was a relief to be able to sit up and see the whole room.
There was a flutter of wings and Gabriel appeared standing next to Raphael. Not really, Cassie. He wiped a hand over his mouth. Did you pick up on any of his dream?
Castiel looked down at the Winchesters. He could only make out a tuft of curls and pink toes peaking out of from under his coat. Yes, he answered simply and adjusted the coat to cover Sam's toes. There was an echo of cold that lingered from the dream—a sense of nakedness and a strong desire for protection.
What is it, brother? Raphael asked, resting a hand on Gabriel's shoulder.
I think...I think I'm going to get the laptop you found. Gold eyes, blazing with anger, stared unseeing into the distance. I want to know why. Why they took him, what they did to him, who the fuck they thought they were to even touch him. You know...just the basics.
Castiel nodded, understanding the fury. It is in the trunk of the Impala.
I'll take the long way 'round, Gabriel said. He met Castiel's eyes for a moment before glancing briefly at Raphael. An eyebrow rose, asking if he'd be okay.
Warmth filled Castiel, easing the simultaneous rush of nerves at being left alone with Raphael. But they needed to talk, and now was as good a time as any. Be sure you do nothing damaging or disorderly to Dean's car. He can forgive a lot of things—that is not one of them.
Don't worry! I'm not gonna mess up your boyfriend's wheels. Gabriel flashed a lascivious grin.
Gabriel! Castiel snapped, but the archangel was already out the door. Laughter bounced around the hallway, and Castiel had to tamp down the desire to childishly slam the bedroom door shut with his grace to block the sound out. The satisfaction wouldn't be worth waking the Winchesters over a petty spat.
I am not certain Heaven could have withstood a mentorship between you and Gabriel. Raphael's words made Castiel's head snap around, expecting to find criticism. Instead, he saw amusement. You two would have reigned down chaos for eons.
Castiel dropped his gaze to the bed. Yes, well, I ended up reigning down enough chaos to make up for my early obedience.
Raphael sighed. If you are looking for judgment, you will not find it with me, brother. It is neither my place nor my right.
Surprise surged through Castiel and he looked again at the archangel. Raphael had a calm, almost stoic, expression on his face. But the emotions crowding their open bond were anything but serene. Regret and self-loathing left a sour taste on Castiel's tongue and fed into his own similar feelings. Would it fall to Michael? he asked seriously.
This was not a scenario he'd considered. With authority in Heaven restored, would they see his crimes as warranting action? It had not been a question with Gabriel—they'd been too focused on Sam's transition, Mary and Gabriel's resurrections, and the daily crisis that came with life in the bunker. Besides, Gabriel had no desire to act as an administrator in Heaven when there was a fledgling in need on Earth.
No, Castiel, Raphael answered slowly. Father has forgiven us for...well, many things. Everything.
He told you that? Castiel asked, frowning.
The archangel tilted his head. Yes, He did.
I do not understand. Why would that change Michael's judgment?
Raphael moved around the bed and sat by Castiel's feet, facing the seraph. It changes everything. Father has never offered forgiveness to any outside humanity, although I suspect He started that process with you.
But... Castiel trailed off, at a loss for words. That couldn't be right.
The Healer smiled knowingly. Until recently, you were the only angel Father ever resurrected. And I understand it was not a one-time event.
I may have been resurrected more than once, but that is not the same... He shook his head.
Not the same as forgiveness? Raphael finished gently.
Castiel clenched his fists. He never spoke to me. After Amara evicted Lucifer from my vessel, Chuck refused to even acknowledged my presence. That— He broke off, swallowing around the rising pressure in his chest. That does not feel like forgiveness.
What does it feel like, Castiel?
It feels like failure. He had refused to think about it until now. The absolute indifference Chuck showed toward him was too painful. Dean's spontaneous declaration of brotherhood and kinship had tethered Castiel, keeping him from spiraling with the rejection. But the dismissal still hurt. It feels like I was given a test over and over, and I failed to pass every time.
Brother... Raphael's voice sounded devastatingly sad.
It does not matter, Castiel lied and looked down at the sleeping brothers, fussing with their covers to keep his hands busy. I already chose the Winchesters over Heaven a long time ago. Having Gabriel here, helping Sam with his grace—I never thought I would experience living as an angel again.
Do you fear that will be taken away?
Castiel blinked rapidly, willing away the rush of panic. He had long been operating outside the control of Heaven, excluding the few times he'd assumed command himself. Yes, but I do not deny my crimes, nor Heaven's right to justice.
If everyone guilty of crimes against Heaven were convicted, there would be no one left to claim that right to justice. Raphael rested his hand on Castiel's leg, quieting his troubled grace. We are all guilty. And we have all been forgiven. Our task is to move forward, to reconcile our past by working with purpose toward a new future. That future includes you, Castiel.
Slowly, Castiel raised his head to meet the archangel's gaze. Does it also include me being permitted to remain with the Winchesters?
Raphael serene expression morphed into a frown. Would you honestly allow yourself to be removed? Willingly return your full service as a soldier to the armies of Heaven?
Castiel knew the answer before the question was done being asked. No.
Good! I am glad to hear that. His face broke into a grin. Otherwise, you would be having this discussion with Gabriel, and he would not take kindly to a member of his flock leaving without a fight. Especially to the likes of Michael.
Castiel felt like he was dreaming. Was Raphael teasing him? Their conversation had taken a bizarre turn somewhere, and now he was a little lost. I sincerely hope it does not come down to me fighting Michael. I would stand no chance of winning.
Raphael patted his leg and sat back. You are officially considered assigned to Gabriel, as a member of this flock. It is a unique role—flocks have never before contained an archangel, a fledgling, or humans. Now, there is one with all three. You are pioneers of a new age.
Laughter bubbled up in his throat, but Castiel managed to contain it. How anyone saw them as "pioneers of a new age" was beyond him. "Group of outcasts barely surviving by the skin of their teeth" seemed like a better description. I weep for those who look to us as an example for anything.
My apologies, Castiel, but I believe Gabriel is correct—you and I are very alike. We share many traits, and those similarities are reflected in our mistakes. But I have learned something recently. He reached forward and wrapped his weathered hand around Castiel's fist. I have learned that forgiveness allows for change. I saw it in our Father—Amara's forgiveness changed Him. He is no longer running from the guilt and pain caused by locking away His other half. I saw it in Michael and felt it in myself, when our Father forgave us. Remembering who I was meant to be and being granted the chance to try again is a gift. Who are we to deny you the same gift and opportunity?
"Will you? Really?" Castiel whispered aloud, the words too important to share in a thought.
"Brother, I have already forgiven you," he said just as softly. "Can I dare ask for any in return? My failures have been destroying Heaven for eons—long before I targeted you specifically. The ripples of my mistakes tore these humans' lives apart, and the lives of so many others. I can never undo what I have done."
"No, neither can I," Castiel agreed solemnly. "But is that not the purpose of forgiveness? Mercy—for that which we ourselves can never atone. As you said, who am I to deny you the same?" Raphael squeezed his hand, and Castiel felt a wave of gratitude. He wasn't sure if it came from the archangel or himself.
Footsteps in the hall broke the moment, and Gabriel appeared a second later with the laptop. He halted in the doorway at the sight of them on the bed, his golden eyes wide. Am I interrupting? Because I can leave and come back later...
It's fine, Gabriel, Castiel reassured him. We were just clearing the air
*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!
Gabriel studied his brothers, debating whether or not to believe them. There was tension in the air, but it was fading into hopeful, excited energy. He knew these two had a complicated history—most of which occurred after his own death.
Okay. If you say so. He set the laptop down on the coffee table and sank onto the sofa. The walk through the bunker had helped settle the immediate rage, but the anger was still there. It simmered just below the surface, as though it knew he was about to find more inciting material.
Sighing, Gabriel opened the laptop. It had no power cord, but that wasn't a problem. One of the benefits of existing among humans as they developed technology was being able to use it. He'd made it a point to become an expert in as many fields as possible—computers and cooking were two of his favorites to learn.
He trailed a finger along the side of the keyboard, checking for damage and surprise warding. Small amounts of water had seeped in through the vent, but it was easy to fix. He started the computer with a thought, pushing in just enough power to fully charge the batteries. A loud "beep," followed by a short melody, rang through the silence.
Gabriel cursed and stabbed at the mute button next to the built-in speakers. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Raphael stand up and move closer.
Is it...supposed to do that? Raphael asked, brimming with curiosity. He sat beside Gabriel on the sofa to get a better look at the loading screen.
Yes, grandpa, it's supposed to do that, Gabriel answered sarcastically, elbowing his brother in the side to move him back. Get your head outta my way before your halo fries the motherboard.
Raphael jerked back and moved a few inches down the sofa. Is this far enough away?
Gabriel chuckled quietly. Yeah, you're good. I was joking...kinda. If you don't know how to use your grace around human technology, it can mess with it. I'm guessing you don't have a lot of experience dealing with computers. He began to work his way through the system, typing commands with confidence. There were some newer protections he was unfamiliar with, reminding him that technology had advanced since his death. But it didn't take him long to shred most of the barriers.
No. I stopped paying attention when they began the Crusades.
That made Gabriel blink. Why? Didn't like the show anymore? Someone kill off your favorite character?
At the time, I no longer cared. There was too much death, too much despair. Humanity was rotting, our Father's message lost.
And the Messenger missing, Gabriel added with a grimace.
My brother was missing. My little hummingbird and constant companion was missing. I lost interest in my studies because every time I sat down, I expected to hear you buzzing in my ear. After a while, it became...too much. I turned my focus elsewhere. Raphael shrugged, nervously smoothing down the fabric of his tunic.
Well, color me surprised! Gabriel felt flustered, caught between guilt and pleasure. Who would have thought I made a good study buddy?
Raphael looked over at the bed and relaxed with a small smile. Just wait until you've had that little one over there chattering away on your shoulders for a century or two. The moment that noise stops is the moment you know something bad is about to happen. It usually involves hours of grooming and lectures because you'll be too flustered to do anything else.
Sam is prone to both finding and attracting trouble. Castiel interjected, earning himself a glower from Gabriel.
Like we needed reminding. He couldn't even go for a walk in the damn yard with an archangel by his side! He tried to tease through the spike in irritation, but he knew some had still bled through when Castiel tensed. Gabriel exhaled and reached again for his calm.
Raphael's wing brush against his shoulders, steadying the younger archangel. It was not your fault, Gabriel. No! A finger flicked Gabriel gently on the nose before he could disagree. Do not interrupt me. The man had an impossible weapon—something he should have never known existed. This was not a reflection on you.
Gabriel rubbed his nose. You are such a weirdo, Raph. As soon as he dropped his hand, the finger flicked his nose again.
The screen went dark on the laptop, distracting Gabriel from seeking revenge. He reached for the keyboard when a window popped up. Oh, shit! I'm in. He carefully assessed what they were dealing with. Not too bad. Looks like the British Men of Letters works over their own client portal. Sweet Dad above, we can actually search their database by creature name. I don't know if they're arrogant bastards or shitty geniuses. Either way, my job just got a whole lot easier.
They have access to a portal? Castiel sounded horrified. I hadn't heard of computers providing gateways to other dimensions. Is this common practice or limited to rare exceptions?
Gabriel stopped typing to stare at his brothers. Are we even related? I mean, I can kinda understand how Raphael missed a millennium of human invention. But you, Cas? You've been down here for years with one of the biggest nerds on Earth. How did he not teach you better?
He taught me how to Netflix, Castiel said, sticking his jaw out stubbornly, and Google.
Did you just use the word "Netflix" as though it were a verb?
Can it not be used the same as "Google?" Castiel asked.
Gabriel paused. I don't actually know. English is weird. I'm surprised it hasn't completely changed since I died.
People use emojis a lot more now, Castiel said brightly.
Returning to hieroglyphs. Interesting choice, humanity...
A folder name grabbed Gabriel's attention. It read, "PROJECT: HALO" in bold letters. He rolled his eyes at the predictability of stupid people.
He clicked on it and felt his rage return full-force. The folder was overflowing with documents—orders for the agents sent to the US, a detailed observation log covering the period of almost a month, full dossiers on each Winchester and a couple dozen people tied to them, photographs spanning the boys' entire lives.
Gabriel scanned them all quickly, ignoring Raphael's attempts to cool his rising anger as he saw pictures of his flock laughing around the firepit. Sam had told them during the ride home that the Brits had been watching the bunker, but this was extensive. And it all happened with an archangel present.
The most recently updated file proved to be a series of videos. He searched the time-stamps and started the earliest recording. The archangels both watched, frozen, as a room appeared on the screen. Raphael sucked in a breath.
What? What is it? Gabriel asked without looking away from the video. He turned the sound back on, dialing it down to its lowest setting so it wouldn't wake anyone. A woman appeared in front of the camera, which seemed be the laptop itself. She was typing on a keyboard that sat just below the range of the lens.
That is the woman Michael took back to Heaven. And she is in the room where they kept Samuel. Raphael explained, pointing to the tall metal bars of a kennel behind the woman.
Gabriel slowly nodded, taking in all the details now that he knew the room's significance. Okay then. Let's do this. And everyone remember to keep our emotions under control. Sam doesn't need to wake up because we get pissed. There's a pause button—tell me if you need me to hit it.
They watched in silence. Gabriel knew Raphael was relaying the images to Castiel—he felt the seraph's horror grow in tempo to his own. He used his grace and computer skills to allow them to observe the day's worth of footage in about four hours—not including the three times they had to take breaks. By the time the explosion knocked the camera into static, all three angels were shaking.
Raphael stood, reaching past Gabriel to shut the laptop. Enough, his true-voice growled deeply. Stepping past the coffee table, he walked out into the hallway. Gabriel heard him begin to pace and left him to it. He knew the Healer needed to process what he'd witnessed. They all did.
Looking at the bed, he felt his anger slightly dim. Castiel was hunched down on the bed, curling closer behind Sam as though bodily shielding the boy from what was on the computer. Or from the potential threat of two furious archangels. He ran trembling fingers methodically through the visible tufts of hair.
Gabriel rubbed his eyes and let his ire drain down to a manageable level. When he felt a semblance of self-restraint return, he stood and stretched his vessel. Slowly, he walked over to Castiel and sat against the headboard beside him.
You okay? Gabriel asked after several long minutes of silence.
I knew it would be bad, but that... Castiel shook his head without turning.
Yeah, that was worse, Gabriel agreed, leaning more against the younger angel.
What do we do now, Gabriel? Blue eyes finally looked at him. They were red-rimmed and shining with unshed tears, begging for an answer. Sam has always been strong—much stronger than people credit him. But he was already struggling so much with the changes from his grace.
We do what we've been doing, little brother. Sam finds comfort in consistency—needs it to feel safe. Gabriel tugged at one of Castiel's wings until his brother allowed it to be extended. Settling back against the pillows, he started grooming to soothe them both. So, we keep him eating, keep him sleeping, keep him talking. We take things a day at a time or an hour at a time, depending on what's needed.
The things those people did and said to him though, Castiel looked at him skeptically, I do not see how it can be fixed with chocolate milk or naps.
Hey! Never underestimate the healing power of chocolate, Gabriel teased and pulled harder than necessary on the area he was grooming.
Castiel scowled which only made the archangel want to pinch his pouting face. I am being serious, Gabriel. How will that be enough?
Gabriel considered his answer as he studied the flustered seraph. Cassie, I'm being serious, too. I know you guys all deal with world-ending apocalypses on a yearly basis, but most problems can not be fixed by one giant solution. There's no pill, no spell, no miracle to take everything that's happened to Sam away. Not even Dad could do that. He gave Sam His grace to set him on a path. Each little step takes him further toward getting better, toward healing and wholeness.
Castiel looked thoughtful now instead of skeptical. And those steps include chocolate milk and naps?
You said it earlier—Sam was already struggling. Most days, we see this kid questioning reality before breakfast. He wakes up not knowing if he's in the cage or alone in his own body. Hopefully, we can change that, but it takes time. And in order to get that time, he has to make it through each day. If we have to wrap him in blankets and sing until he feels safe enough to sleep, so be it. If we have to time-travel to find his favorite foods to make sure he eats, so be it. I will utilize all of my abilities to see that happen, because we can't tackle the big problems if pesky little things like physical health go untended.
I had not thought about it in those terms. Both brothers tend to prefer decidedly unhealthy coping mechanisms, but I never considered the importance of the "little things" unless they had turned into major obstacles.
Gabriel snorted. Spoken like a true Winchester, bro.
AUTHOR'S NOTES:
I am SOOO sorry this chapter took me a lifetime to finish.
I had some severe writer's constipation for this part. I always seem to hit a snag when there's less action smothered in fluffs.
On the plus side though, I ended up mapping out the next couple major arcs in detail!
Rest assured, even if there's a delay in posting, I am hard at work on this universe.
Thank you to everyone for reading, and for their comments and kudos!
SUPER SHOUTOUT to nathyfaith for our daily conversations and mad beta skillz!
From serious meta to total crack-fests, it's always a blessing.
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