3 days later. 8:20 PM. Bagram US Air Force Base

It was his last day in country. In fact, in less than two hours, he and several other wounded soldiers were being moved from the hospital to a military controlled airport. From there, he'd fly into Fort Worth and then be transported to Fort Huston where he was being admitted to San Antonio Military Medical Center. The flight state side would be about sixteen hours; the flight to San Antonio would be about an hour. In less than twenty-four hours he would be almost home. Almost, because home would be when he was in his own apartment. When he could hide away from the Army, the world, and all the nightmares of this tour. Home would be where Rick was waiting. Still Fort Huston was a start. He just wished he knew how long he would have to stay there.

While he had had some improvements over the last seventy-two hours, he'd also had some setbacks. His nose had stopped bleeding and was unpacked, much to his relief. The swelling in his hands had also significantly reduced and he wouldn't have to have hard casts for the fractures. The lacerations had finally scabbed over deep enough that they didn't split open when he moved, but that was about the last of the good news.

The effects of the concussion were still lingering. He had episodes of vertigo and a persistent headache. His left eye was still swollen almost shut and there was possibly damage to the eye. Until the swelling went down, they wouldn't know for sure. His respiratory infection had indeed become pneumonia, and his oxygen levels were still worrisome. His fever was back too, though not as severe. Then of course, there was the psychological damage.

He had already given a statement and gone through a debriefing, despite the Major's protests. Besides the fact that Drew had had to recount, in detail, what he could remember of the events that had transpired from capture to rescue, he had also had to answer a series of legal questions. Drew was an Army Officer who had rendered aid, while under duress, to the enemy, the questions were part of an official inquiry, and he had had a representative of the JAG Corps there as his advocate. The lawyer assured him that this was a formality and there was no serious consideration of charges given the nature of events, but the Army did have to investigate. The formality of it all was intimidating.

"Hey Captain, you awake?" The Major asked, coming into his room.

Drew stirred from his thoughts, managing to give her a small smile. "Mostly," he replied weakly. "Just had a neb treatment, not helping the vertigo."

"Probably not, but full sentences are useful," she replied, "and coughing fits are bad." Syd looked over Drew's chart, quiet for a moment as she read the latest notes. "You're blood gasses aren't looking great but they're better. How's your head?"

"Better. Vertigo too, over all, I could walk today. Well, until I fell," Drew answered.

"Progress is still progress," she said, amused, "I wanted to talk to you again about being sedated for the flight."

"I still don't want it," he said, "I don't want to deal with the complications."

Syd sighed and shook her head. Having a doctor as a patient was always a pain in the ass. "Drew, the pain and the discomfort from the flight are going to hurt you a lot more than the very minimal risks. You're still on O2 and there will be BiPAP available. Hell, if it really comes down to it, you'll have another doctor there who can intubate. But going through that flight, the pressure changes will make your head hurt worse and your chest."

"Waking up halfway through the flight not knowing what's going on would be so much worse," Drew said, his voice small, head hung. He looked like he was ashamed.

Syd nodded, understanding now why he was refusing the drugs. "You're worried you're going to have a flashback?" She asked and Drew didn't respond. "You have been having flashbacks, in the hospital, haven't you?"

Drew sighed, "small ones. Not anything… just small ones."

Syd nodded, she wanted to curse. This was exactly why she didn't want him to go through the debriefing so soon. "Alright. I get it. I don't like it and I think you're going to regret it, but I get it," she said, sinking into a chair. Sighing, she stretched out and looked over at Drew. "You okay? I mean… you're not. But going home, you okay?"

Drew was still for a long moment trying to figure out how he felt. He was miserable, sick, hurt, and terrified to close his eyes. He was frustrated with his body and the circumstances he found himself in. He was relieved that he was making it home and excited to see Rick. But he also felt like he was being punished and that he was abandoning his team. "I don't want to be here anymore. I'm glad the tour is over and I'm alive," He inhaled sharply here and coughed several times before continuing, "but I feel like I'm walking away. Like I'm taking an easy way home."

Syd snorted, "oh believe me Drew, there is nothing easy about what you're going through."

He nodded, almost smiled, but couldn't quite get his face to cooperate. "I just feel like I'm being punished, or like I screwed everything up… I mean… you should be the one going home, not me."

"Don't do that to yourself. You don't deserve that. This isn't your fault," She said softly.

"But Riley's birthday is coming up and-"

"And it will not be the first one I missed. I spoke to Riley and she understands. She's not happy but she's not angry or devastated either. In fact, she was more concerned about you than she was about her birthday," Syd said.

Drew gave a small smile and tried to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. "She's a good kid," he said.

"The best," Syd said, a proud smile on her face.

"But it's not her I'm worried about. It's you. I know how much you wanted to be home…" he continued.

"Yeah. I did. And yeah, it sucks. Want to know what would've sucked more?" She said, solemn, "if I had, had to write your parents a letter. That would have sucked more. I have to stay three months. You had thirty-eight hours of hell. I think I'm making out better. So don't you dare be sorry. Don't you dare put that guilt in your head. I don't care about staying because you're still alive. Got it?"

Drew managed to smile, even though it meant he couldn't stop a few tears from slipping out. "Yes Ma'am," he said with a laugh that turned into a coughing fit.

Syd just rolled her eyes, "don't ma'am me. I'm off duty…." There was a pause as Drew continued coughing for just a minute longer. When he was done, Syd continued. "Do me a favor, when you're state side?"

"Yeah," Drew choked out, still recovering.

"I have a present for Riley, just something I got her at one of the markets, would you take it to her? She wants to meet you," Syd asked and this time she was the one fighting back tears.

"Yeah… I'd love to," Drew responded, without hesitation.

"Thanks," she sighed. "So, when you're finally out of the hospital, what's the first Bar-B-Q place you're going to hit up?"

Drew's laughter may have turned into yet another coughing fit, but at least the mood in the room had become more relaxed.

-line-

21 and half hours later. 7:00 PM, San Antonio

Despite the fact that he was seated in a relatively comfortable waiting room, that was designed to be calming, his heart was racing. He was leaning forward, elbows on his legs, head resting on his knuckles, apparently at ease except that in reality he was so tense it hurt. His stomach was tied in knots and churning so much that it not only ached but he was convinced he was going to vomit. His damn palms were even sweating.

Hearing footsteps, he looked up, breath catching, but he was quickly disappointed when the person just walked by him. Rick had been in the waiting room of the medical center's ICU Step-down floor for about two hours. Drew had made it to the hospital about 1630 hours. Major Jennings had pulled some strings to have Rick listed as Drew's patient advocate so he had been notified when he arrived. Now he was just waiting for them to allow him back. This was going to be his first time actually being able to see his boyfriend in almost a year. It wasn't the homecoming he had planned on, not even close, but it was finally happening. He just hoped that Drew was going to be in a condition or mood to be seen.

"Captain Lincoln?" someone called getting Rick's attention.

He straightened up, looking for the man who called him and saw him in the doorway. He was a tall and thinner man, close to thirty and wearing scrubs. Standing, he replied, "retired. But yeah, that's me."

The other man smiled and nodded, extending his hand. "Lieutenant Ryan. I'm the over night nurse for Captain Allister. Captain Souter, his doctor, said it's all right if you want to come back. Unfortunately you can't stay too long, visitor hours are almost up."

Rick shook the other man's hand and nodded, a tired smile on his face. "I get it. I'm just happy I get to see him…"

"Yeah. I'll bet. Had a bit of a rough tour, huh?" Ryan said, leading the way to Drew's room.

"Well, it wasn't a vacation… how is he?"

"Hell of a lot tougher than me but paying for it. He made the transport without sedatives and minimal pain relief. First thing we had to do when he got here was give him some codeine. We also had to give him a breathing treatment. He's gonna be a little loopy so don't expect much. Okay?"

Rick swallowed back his nervousness and nodded, "Yeah. Gotcha."

The pair arrived outside a room, and Ryan hesitated. "Have you seen him since he was injured? I mean like Skype or anything?"

"No, just spoke to him," Rick replied, anxious.

"Okay. So… he's got some facial fractures and a lot of bruising and swelling around his eyes. It looks bad. Lot of bruises, lot of swelling but that's it. Just remember, none of it's permanent."

Rick could only nod, not trusting himself to talk. He felt like he was about to walk out into a skirmish. Ryan did his best to give him a reassuring smile, and pointed to the door he said, "Just announce yourself before going in, he may be a little jumpy. I'll come get you when visiting hours are over."

Rick took a deep breath as the Lieutenant walked away, taking a moment to calm himself. Then, knocking on the door lightly, he pushed it open. The room was as cozy as a hospital room could be and dimly lit. Drew was sitting up in the bed, with an IV and monitor hooked up. Just as Ryan warned, he looked awful. The bruising was around both eyes with an ugly black, purple, and green mash up of colors. The skin that wasn't bruised was pale except for the fever spots. Rick could hear the Drew's breathing and while it didn't sound 'bad', he also knew he wasn't supposed to be able to hear it. But, all that aside, there were a pair of sleepy brown eyes locked on him and they were the most wonderful things he'd ever seen.

"Drew?" He called, voice choked and he couldn't stop the stupid smile from gracing his face anymore than he could the tears.

"Hey… ya recognize me…" he mumbled, voice hoarse, a tired smile appearing.

Rick shut the door softly, not sure if he wanted to laugh or cry. All he was sure of was that he couldn't cross the room fast enough. Reaching Drew, however, he was suddenly unsure of what to do or what would be okay. He wanted to touch him, kiss him, hold him, just anything to confirm that he was really there but he didn't know what would be comfortable for Drew. He didn't know just how 'jumpy' he was.

So he started simply, Rick reached for his hand and laughed softly when saw Drew reaching for his. Mindful of the splint and the fractures, Rick gently interlocked his fingers with the other's before leaning in and kissing the top of his head. "I don't think I can tell you how happy I am to see you," Rick said, emotion choking his voice as he pressed his forehead to the top of Drew's head.

Drew was leaning into Rick, head pressed to his chest, heart racing. He wanted to be able to hold the other, to have him pressed against him so that all he could feel was his warmth. Sadly, given the current circumstances, the best he could do was bury his face in his chest. "I can guess," Drew replied in an equally choked voice.

Rick shifted, sitting on the edge of the bed. Just as gentle as before, he pulled Drew close to him, hugging him carefully. Drew in turn, wrapped his arms around Rick, face still buried in his chest. Rick placed a hand on the back of Drew's neck, head bowed and resting on his shoulder. For a very long moment, neither man moved, just needing to hold each other. Then, Drew started to tremble.

"Hey, it's okay. You're alright now," Rick soothed, kissing his head. "I promise, this is real." He felt Drew nod, but there was no other reply. Rick straightened, shifting Drew so he could see his face, or at least attempt to. The other man didn't seem to want to look at him.

"Hey, come on now," Rick said and carefully lifted Drew's chin so that he could look at his face, "what's going on? What's wrong?"

Drew looked into Rick's eyes, captivated for a second, and in that second the storm of emotions in his head calmed, but only for a second. Everything was still so fresh, so vivid, in his head. Less than seven days ago, he had been bound and locked up in some closet, begging God not to die. Now he was home, safe, and the man he loved was holding him. His mind couldn't catch up. He hadn't even recovered from the physical effects of the last week, how the hell was he going to deal with the horror show in his head. And that was just the last part of his tour. What about everything else he'd seen and gone through? If he didn't know what to do with himself, how the hell would Rick?

"I… I can't…" he hated how hoarse and choked his voice sounded. Hated how lost and confused he was. Hated the look of worry and concern in Rick's eyes, especially since he was the cause of it. Mostly he hated himself. He suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that he should leave. He shouldn't be here with Rick. He was drowning and if he went down he didn't want to take the other with him.

"Drew. Breathe. Slow deep breaths, come on," Rick ordered, breaking through the other's thoughts. Drew hadn't realized it, but he had started to hyperventilate. Rick watched him until he was satisfied that the other was calming down before he continued. "Don't do that to yourself. Don't let your mind over think right now. I know you, and I also know where your head is going. Mine went there too. Don't do that to yourself, okay?"

Drew nodded, and he closed his eyes in hopes he could keep from crying. He couldn't handle anything right now. He was too edgy, too overwhelmed, and felt like shit. "I don't even know how to start fixing what's wrong," he finally said, and in a much smaller voice he added, "and I'm scared…"

Rick pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him again and letting the other bury his face in his chest again, as much as his broken nose would allow. "We're gonna take it a day at a time. Okay? A day at a time, and I won't let you face it alone." He felt Drew nod and then kissed his neck. The rest of the time he was there, Rick spent talking softly, not really about anything just in low and soft tones while Drew finally relaxed. By the time visiting hours were over, he had managed to help the other fall asleep.