66 Danny's POV
Tom was deep in thought for days, and seemed to be watching us all too while he thought, like he was trying to come up with an answer to everything. I couldn't blame him for it really, but it did feel a bit odd, to be watched so closely.
But then he suddenly stopped, two days after we had watched him talk to a sleeping Buzz. I didn't see him for half the morning, then suddenly found him in the laundry room, leaning on the counter, head dropped in shame, his shoulders shaking.
"Tom? Are you alright?" I asked, hesitating before walking into the room.
"Fine, just f-fine." Tom jumped to start sorting out the clothes, keeping his back to me.
"You don't sound fine." His voice had been shaking, something wasn't right here... had he figured out the truth? Oh God, he had, hadn't he? And this was his reaction to it... oh bugger, here we go.
"I am, I am. Just, just... I was considering which wash load to put this in." Tom's voice continued to shake, and he still refused to turn round, even as he lifted the white t-shirt up so I could see. He didn't even sound like he believed what he was saying, his shoulders hitching like he was bracing himself.
He then leaped feet when I touched his shoulder, allowed me to see a flash of his face. Oh God, he was crying. Tom was crying. He had realised, he had definitely realised. No way he hadn't. What did I do? What did I do now?! He was crying, had realised what his wife had done to him, what did I do to help?!
"Do, do you need to talk about it?" I asked, maybe we could talk about it. We could talk and that could help. Maybe that could do something for him. What I didn't know, but maybe it could do something for him.
"N-No. I, I'm fine. I'm fine." Tom pulled away, "Sorry." He said that too often, far too often. And I had a feeling he'd be saying it a lot more for a while.
"Nothing to be sorry for, nothing at all." There was nothing he needed to apologise for, it was ridiculous to think that he did.
"I, I'm being stupid. I'll, I'll be fine in a minute." Tom continued piling clothes in the washing machine, almost in a desperate way, like he badly wanted to prove that he was capable.
"Hey, hey, you're not being stupid, or anything of the sort. You're allowed to be upset, especially about this." could I be explicit with this, say it out loud? Or should I have been quiet, or spoke around the subject?
"I, it's stupid. It's stupid. I'll be fine in a minute, I swear I will be." Tom wiped away the tears, continuing his task.
"It's really not stupid Tom, it's perfectly okay to be upset." I tried to say, but Tom never believe me. And whenever one of us caught him crying again, or stressing out, or anything like that, he just apologised and refused to listen to sense. He refused to hear us when we said that it was okay to be upset, to be scared of what happened.
He was in such a state about it all, when he wasn't crying, he was panicked, or stressed, or acting like everything was fine. He was trying so hard to cling to what he knew, refusing all chances to talk about it, or even acknowledge that he'd realised something huge about his relationship.
Watching him like that hurt, so much. I hated seeing him look so upset about it all, to look so lost. Especially when looking at photos of him and his wife. Photos from their wedding day, days out with Buzz, the multiple photos of her and Buzz, rarely with Tom. Whenever he looked at those, he always looked like he had no idea on what to think about it all, like he was revaluating every single detail of their relationship. Like he didn't have a clue on what to think of anything anymore.