74 Dougie's POV

How the hell were we going to convince Tom to join us in some sort of game with Buzz? Even if we asked well in advance, and gave him exact ideas as to what we'd be doing, how the hell did we get him to agree?! Tom wasn't someone who would agree to something to that! He was so stuck in his ways, so fixated on everything his wife had told him, how could we possibly get him to do anything else?

We had had mixed success in the past, but not since he had been told that he had been abused. He'd been so closed off since the revelation, I doubted he was going to agree to being around us again, even if it was just for an hour.

But, we had to try, according to Natasha. It wouldn't hurt to try. But what did she know? She didn't know what it was like to hold onto a screaming baby, who wanted and needed their father, but couldn't have him as he was crying hysterically in the other room. She wasn't the one who had to deal with that. She wasn't there to witness that. And she certainly wasn't the one trying to calm down the baby, completely helpless to actually calm down anyone.

Natasha was just the therapist, she saw Tom once a week and talked to him, then gave us instructions, like we were her co-therapists. We weren't therapists though, we were Tom's friends, there was only so much we could do, and there was so much we could screw up. By saying the wrong words, or pushing too hard, or anything like that, we could screw up and make things so much worse.

I didn't like it, not one bit. It wasn't like this with me, not when I was in therapy. I talked to my therapist alone, we worked through things together, or in a group. We discussed feelings, previous experiences, my motivations for my addictions, coping mechanisms. Tom, Danny and Harry weren't involved. At least, they weren't until I was ready for them to be. Of course, I spoke to Harry, and my therapist gave him some advice on how to help me, but he didn't get everyone involved.

"The situation was different Dougie, you hadn't been abused." Harry sighed after I explained my feelings that evening, as we got ready for bed.

"No, instead I was so depressed I wanted to die and felt totally alone and abandoned in the world. Hardly the same thing at all." I didn't mean to snap, really, I didn't. But damn it I think I knew a little about feeling scared and alone! I had been there, vividly been there! How was this different? I didn't understand how this was different!

"But you didn't have a baby to look after, and hadn't lost a relationship, one you thought was solid and normal." Harry wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

"I guess." I'd always relied on Harry, had always had him. Even in my darkest times, I'd known that he was there, even when I hadn't felt loved, thanks to my own problems. Harry had always been there, showing me love, taking care of me, and trying to encourage me to do things I loved.

"Tom doesn't have that luxury; his wife has turned out to be the cause of his problems. His relationship has been turned on his head, what he thought was love, was abuse. Of course he's scared and alone, but it's more than that. He's got to re-evaluate everything in his life, to learn to accept what has happened, and to try and regain himself again. And most of all, he needs to know that he is loved and cared for, that he still has us on his side, and he can't do that unless we try to get him out of his shell, away from his fixed routines. We're here to help where Natasha can't. And she can't help him feel love, unless we step in and show him that love." Harry kissed my shoulder, "I know it doesn't seem fair, to give us hard jobs that could cause more pain, but we have to, because no-one else will."

"Alright," I gave in, understanding where Harry was coming from, "Can I just... Can Buzz not be in the house when you ask? I can't... I can't take hearing him cry again." I couldn't, I really couldn't.

"Of course, if that makes things easier on you two." Harry smiled, "We'll discuss it in the morning."