A/N: Ok, here's the second chapter! Two uploads in one day? Crazy, I know! Also, since it's going to be a huge hassle to go back through and edit the first chapter, I'm just going to point out an editing error I failed to fix. Surprise, right? I originally didn't have the kids coming along on the trip but decided to throw them in last minute and there's a sentence that contradicts them being on the trip. It's in the first chapter almost half way through if you caught it. In any case, nothing crazy happens quite yet, so enjoy the calm before the storm, folks. I don't own SVU or any of its characters. Enjoy!

Saturday – 12:30 p.m.

Liv hadn't been this relaxed in a really long time.

She sipped from her margarita, compliments of Rita who was already sucking down her second one while her and Amanda nursed their first still, and watched as Noah and Jesse waded around in the kiddie pool close to where they were sitting.

There were three lifeguards in there, monitoring the kids' every move, so she didn't feel inclined to sit by the sidelines and watch him like a hawk. She was finally starting to let go of all those fears the Sheila fiasco instilled in her, recognizing that not everyone was out to hurt her son or take him from her.

She was hesitant in the beginning to even bring him on the cruise. She had mulled over the idea after Carisi and Amanda, the squad event planners, brought it up, and it took her a few conversations with Amanda, who was bringing Jesse, and Fin, who was quick to make her realize that he and Jesse were probably the only kids on the ship with a built-in police detail, to really get into it.

She was glad they had talked her into it, because being away from the city and their jobs for a week was really going to help with the stresses of their everyday lives. She had all of her family around her, which she was excited for.

But, she was probably more excited that Rafael had accepted her invitation to join. Their relationship hadn't noise dived quite like it did when he found out about her and Tucker, but it did take a small hit, one that they were coming back from slowly. It didn't help that they couldn't see each other all of the time like they used to be able to do, but she was hoping to rectify that with this trip.

Part of the reason she so readily asked him to join was because she had some things to say to him. Not talking for an entire week really allowed her to focus on her feelings and sort through them, something she was never really good at doing, but did with startlingly clarity while he was off, recovering and taking time to himself.

She had come to realize just how deep they truly did run for him, which really wasn't incredibly surprising to her. He had come to be her best friend. Someone she could rely on and trust fully and talk to about the good and bad things. He'd been there through most everything these past few years and him leaving had been the punch in the gut she needed to truly see how dumb they both were.

She was aware of his feelings, even if he hadn't ever said them out loud to her. What he said to her was almost an admission, she came to realize, however it vague it may have been. But it was an admission nonetheless, and she had been carrying that ever since, trying to decide when she was going to bring it up. And she was going to bring it up, because she absolutely had to.

That was what she had intended to do with this cruise, hoping beyond hope he accepted her pleas to join them so she could get him alone. She was surprised when he brought up the idea of talking about things between them first, but it was a pleasant surprise and only furthered the idea that he was trying to admit to something that day outside of the courthouse. It made her heart jump in her chest at just the thought of being alone with him later and reciting everything she wanted to talk to him about. The pain she felt when he left, the anger she held for little more than an hour towards him, the absolute love she felt bursting in her chest every time he was near…

She had accepted a while ago that every time she thought her little speech through, she sounded like some dramatic romance novel, but it was true. He made her this way and she was almost positive, from the look on his face after she kissed his cheek just twenty minutes ago, that she made him feel the same way.

"God, Rita, what did you order in these?" Amanda made a gagging noise and set her drink down on the table she shared with the woman. Rita looked at her over her sunglasses and then sat back again, eyes closed and arms on the padded arm rests.

"Double tequila. I don't do weak drinks, honey," she said back without the usual dose of sass all of her words were tainted with. Liv shook her head, looking away from her and incredibly bright white swim suit, back to where her son was jumping around happily in the kiddie pool. Jesse stayed right along with him, refusing to leave his side.

"Remind me never to let you order my drinks again."

"It's not that bad," Liv sipped again, "But I have to agree with you."

Rita huffed and waved them off, "You two need to live a little. Get a little crazy."

"We also have children with us," Amanda reminded her, waving at Jesse who was waving at her from the pool. She looked adorable with her pink floaties around her arms. "There's no such thing as getting a little crazy."

Liv concurred. Noah didn't need to see his mommy getting fall down drunk, or anyone else he knew for that matter.

"Fine, then. But you still need to let loose every once in a while. Meet a stranger…fool around. You both need to get laid, that much is certain." Amanda and Liv both looked over at her like she was insane, prompting Rita to slide her sunglasses into her hair and prop herself up on her side.

"Don't give me those looks. Amanda, I see the way you check out Stone. I'm not blind."

Amanda tried to cut in but was hushed, "I'm not saying you should try and screw him, but I'm saying you should try and screw someone. Please, God, not Carisi." The blonde snapped her mouth shut and stared over at her daughter and Noah, trying to make herself seem invisible while Rita directed her attention to Liv.

"Don't even get me started on you."

"What does that mean?"

"That means that if and Rafael don't screw each other by the time this cruise is done with, then you both are truly hopeless."

"Jesus, Rita!" Liv blushed and shifted down in her seat as a couple, who heard Rita loud and clear, passed by them. Rita nodded at both of them, truly unabashed about what she was saying or being heard. Liv brought her hand up to her forehead and tried to rid the redness in her cheeks from taking over.

"Eh…I hate to agree with her, Liv, but…she has a point." Liv looked up at Amanda, mouth hanging open and trying to form a retort, but one didn't come out. She had been trying not to think about the possibility of that happening, because their hearts and feelings were more important than, what she was sure would be, mind-blowing sex.

"I'm just saying, that's all. Take it or leave it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to get my other side," Rita sat up and let the lounge chair fall flat, flipping over and shifting until she got comfortable, leaving Liv and Amanda in silence.

They both sat there, staring at their kids in silence, until Amanda conceded and shrugged her shoulders.

"She has a point."

Liv sighed and moved her straw aside, taking large gulps of the margarita in her hand instead of replying.

"God, I'm full."

"You ate half the buffet," Rafael said, sucking down the rest of his beer and removing the napkin from his lap. Carisi rubbed his hands over his stomach, looking somewhat miserable and bloated, and sipped from the glass of water he ordered halfway through his meal.

"I don't think I've ever seen a grown man eat so much macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs." Fin and Rafael shared a look, both finding it hard not to laugh at the disgruntled look Carisi gave the both of them.

"Hey. It's my favorite meal. I make it for Jesse all the time," he said, as a way to justify his choice in food.

"Poor kid," Fin joked, and Carisi rolled his eyes, shifting forward in his seat to pick at the leftover cookie he had on one of his dessert plates. Rafael focused his attention out to the sea. They had taken off a little over a twenty minutes ago, on their way to their first stop in Cabo San Lucas. The dining hall was crowded with the lunch rush and people cutting through to get to other areas of the ship.

The steady movement of the ship made him a little queasy at first, but pushed through and managed to eat a good amount that would tide him over until dinner. He had actually enjoyed spending time with both Fin and Carisi. Just the three of them had never hung out together, and he found they had somewhat built a camaraderie with each other. It was refreshing, realizing that he had built more relationships with these people than he thought previously. Even Carisi, who still annoyed the hell out of him.

"You know I'm joking man. I'm glad you spend time with her. She needs a good influence in her life."

Carisi smiled, nodding his head. Rafael could tell the taller detectives truly felt something for the little girl that went beyond being her mother's best friend. He'd been around Carisi before, gushing about something she did or said, or how she looked while she was sleeping or how she mispronounced his name. It was clear as day that Carisi had grown into a sort of father figure type for her, and no one would ever poke fun at that.

"Yeah. I'm glad she's here. She was so excited when she found out Noah was coming along."

Rafael cracked a smile at the mention of the little boy. Noah had been beyond excited when he heard Uncle Rafa was coming along, and had called him in the middle of his lunch break one day from Liv's phone, unbeknownst to his mother who was in the shower at the time.

"Hey, Liv."

"Hi, Uncle Rafa!"

Rafael certainly hadn't been expecting to hear Noah instead of Liv, but he smiled nonetheless and dropped his fork back into his salad, and wiped his hands on a napkin. The café he sat in wasn't packed thankfully, so he didn't have to move in order to hear the other end of the line.

"Mommy said you were coming on the crusie with us!"

"Yeah, I am. I bought my ticket and everything."

"I'm so excited!" And he did sound genuinely excited and happy which made Rafael feel good. He missed Liv, but he missed Noah, just as much, if not even more. He'd gotten so used to seeing Noah more than a few times a week and when that suddenly stopped, he hadn't expected it to affect him as much as it had.

"I am too, buddy. Where's your mom?"

"She's in the shower. She didn't have to work today so she's taking me to the park! Can you come with us Uncle Rafa, please?"

Rafael hung his head, feeling his heart pull in his chest. He wanted nothing more than to tell him yes, and meet up with them and spend the entire day with them, but he had court and meetings to attend to and he couldn't just drop everything. He hated it.

"Maybe another time," he said softly, trying to bring the boy down gently. Noah took it in stride though, sounding only a little sad as he replied, "Ok. You promise?"

"I promise," Rafael repeated. He heard Liv's voice in the background and shuffling as the phone was transferred from one pair of hands to another.

"Rafa?"

His heart jumped in his chest at the use of his nickname and he cleared his throat, "Yeah, it's me."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think he was going to call you. Or anyone. Because he knows better."

"It's alright. I'm on my lunch. You told him I was going?"

"Yeah. You should have seen his face, he lit up like a Christmas tree."

He chuckled and picked up fork again, shifting the lettuce around his bowl, "I miss that kid."

Liv was quiet for a long moment, "He misses you, too."

They were silent for another long moment before Rafael decided to put an end to the conversation upon seeing the time. "I have to get going but, can I call you later? Maybe the three of us can grab some dinner?"

He could hear her smile as she agreed, "Yeah, we can do that."

"Look, I'm all for you being close with Jesse, just as long as you don't get close with Amanda," Fin cut in. Carisi reeled back, almost in disgust at the idea. It seemed a little forced in Rafael's opinion, but he didn't say anything, although Fin did shoot him a look.

"It's not like that at all with me and Amanda. We're best friends and Jesse doesn't exactly have a dad so…"

"Good. I don't need that kind of drama circling the squad room."

"Trust me, you won't. It was bad enough between you and Liv all the time," Carisi pointed at Rafael and it was his turn to look confused and slightly disturbed. He also felt slightly cornered, with both men looking at him and waiting for him to say something. Did they know? Was it obvious that he had been into Liv this entire time and he was shitty at hiding it?

"What do you mean?" He managed to say that with calm nonchalance he was known for. He grabbed his beer up and finished it off, standing along with both Fin and Carisi, deciding unanimously to leave the area after pitching in on the tip.

"I mean, that anytime you and Liv fought, we had to hear all about it or face her wrath after she was done with you. It wasn't pretty but it was sometimes entertaining."

They weaved their way through the tables and out towards the elevator, ready to hit the pool where the ladies were lounging. Rafael let out a breath as the two men kept talking about him and Liv going to toe-to-toe all the time. It relieved him to know that he hadn't been obvious with his feelings. That was no one else's business but his own.

He excluded himself from the conversation and checked his phone, seeing a few e-mails from work that he wasn't going to bother opening up. If he was on a vacation, then he was going to be on a real one. No work allowed. That had been on of Liv's own rules she laid down before they even stepped on the airplane this morning, and he wasn't about to risk her finding out. He needed things to go smoothly between them.

"You remember that one time you pissed Liv off so bad, she called your mom and your mom ended up going to office to chew your head off?"

Rafael rolled his eyes, "How could I forget? I should have never introduced those two…" He'd been so livid after that, he didn't talk to either of them the rest of the day. Eventually, Liv showed up in his office the next morning, laughing because it was all set up as payback. Those two had become surprisingly close, and stayed close after he had left the D.A.'s office.

As they walked out onto the pool deck, Fin easily spotted Rita sitting next to two empty lounge chairs covered in towels. It was so crowded with a lot of the other vacationers taking advantage of the spectacular weather, it took them nearly fifteen minutes to even get to where they were sitting.

As soon as they came into view, Rafael noticed Liv was sitting with Noah, who had his head tucked into her neck and her arms wrapped around him. Jesse was casually lounging back against Amanda, who was tenderly touching a spot on her daughter's forehead that looked read and raised.

"Everything ok?"

"Some little bastard threw a toy at Jesse and pushed Noah into the side of the pool." Rita answered them easily, looking displeased as Fin sat down next to her on her chair and kissed her. Carisi bent down by Jesse and began inspecting the area, noting that at least she wasn't crying. It made it easier to see.

"He ok?"

Rafael sat down next to Liv, feeling a genuine pull towards Noah to see if the boy was ok. He was wrapped in a towel and he could faintly hear the sniffles coming from him. Liv sighed and ran her fingers through his hair, "He threw up and his stomach is a little scraped. I think he's just embarrassed."

Rafael reached out and tugged on one of Noah's toes, getting his attention. He leaned forward, pressing right up against Liv so he could see his face better. "You feeling better?" Noah nodded but his bottom lip still trembled a bit. The five-year-old pushed away from Liv a little and sat up, pulling the towel with him and extended his arms.

Rafael plucked him out of Liv's lap without question and sat the boy up on his lap. Liv smiled when she saw Noah wiping his tears away and nodding at when Rafael asked if he wanted to go swim in the big pool. She bit her lip, stifling laughter as he tried in vain to help Noah into the floaties that were in her bag.

"Uncle Rafa, you have to get them wet first," Noah reminded him, giggling when Rafael lost his grip and the floatie went sailing a few feet away from them. Liv watched them, her heart nearly exploding in her chest. It was amazing how she sat with him for ten minutes and all it took to make her son feel better was his Uncle Rafa acting like a goof.

"Ok, go dunk these in the water real quick," Rafael pointed at the kiddie pool and watched him run over, mindful to wait for people to pass him politely.

"I think my kid likes you better than he likes me," Liv joked, bumping her shoulder with his. He shook his head, a fond grin on his face. "No way. You're much better than me. I just try and be funny and hope it lands."

"You're hilarious. Five-year-old hilarious. Adult hilarious? Eh."

"At least I know my audience," he got out before Noah slammed back into him, getting his t-shirt and swim shorts wet with the water falling off his arm floaties. Liv smiled and leaned back, kicking her legs back up and watching Rafael still struggle with the floaties. Eventually, after he had them on, he stood and stripped off his shirt and shoes, reminding Noah not to go running off without him.

Liv tried not to stare for too long, or make it obvious that he was appreciating his assets, quite literally. Those suit pants had always been well tailored, but it was a different experience seeing it in swim shorts. Amanda cleared her throat suddenly and Liv jumped a little, looking at her. Carisi had done much of the same as Rafael, with Jesse standing next to him and waiting while he applied some sunscreen.

"You ok there, Liv?"

Liv glared daggers at Amanda and turned her attention back to Noah, who was digging around in her bag. He pulled out some goggles and she swung her legs back over to help him secure them to his face. "Ok. You're all set. Hey," she grabbed his arm gently before he could move away from her, "Listen to Rafa and don't swim away from him, got it?"

"I know, mommy," he said and kissed her cheek sweetly before he began incessantly tugging on Rafael's hand, who stayed rooted to the spot as Liv stood up next to him. He smiled as she eyed him up and down and stepped closer, "Lose my kid and I'll destroy you, Barba."

He smirked, seeing her try and fail to be intimidating. He wouldn't dare dream of it. But, he couldn't resist being a little bit of a cheeky asshole, "Promise?" He walked away after that, focused solely on getting Noah in the water and turning that frown upside down. Carisi followed, walking slowly with Jesse, who's red rimmed eyes were also covered with a pair of pink goggles.

Liv watched in silence as the four made their way into the shallow end of the pool, and when she was assured that Noah was going to behave and that Rafael was supporting him in the water, she sat back down, rejoining Amanda, Rita, and Fin.

"Liv, you up for a little walk? We got a whole ship to explore still."

"Yeah, Barba and Carisi can handle the kids for a little bit. I wanna go throw some of my hard-earned money away in the Casino." Rita nodded next to Fin, "I second that."

Liv hummed, eyes finding the four back in the pool, having a good time playing around with a random beach ball they found that had the cruise line logo stamped on it. She wasn't crazy about the idea of leaving Noah without her, and rehashing those fears of not being around him 24/7 she'd tried so hard to let go of. But, if she was going to choose to leave him with anyone, it would have to be Rafael, who would just about anything to keep her son safe, and she was 100% sure of that.

She hesitated to answer, but eventually nodded, growing more comfortable with the idea. She followed suit and slipped her jean shorts and tank top back on. She would leave her bag, taking only her purse, and their clothes piled up on one chair for when the emerged from the pool. Before she left the dock, her and Amanda stopped by the pool edge, beckoning the grown men, who were holding their children and arguing about something or another involving the beach ball.

"We're going to take off and look around. We'll meet back at the rooms at five and go to dinner, ok?"

"Bye mommy!" Jesse waved cutely at Amanda, who was busy snapping pictures from her phone. Liv squatted down as Rafael and Noah came to the pool edge, both of their hair soaking wet and sticking up in odd places, "I love you, sweet boy. Behave yourself, ok? Barba, remember what I said." She tried to look menacing, but she knew it failed when Noah giggled at her. She left with a small wink at the both of them and trailed behind Amanda, who was trailing behind Rita and Fin.

It was nearly two hours later when the four climbed out of the pool and dried off, taking a few minutes to sit in the sun and relax before they dressed and took off back inside of the ship. Carisi split off from him and Noah, needing to get Jesse something to eat, and Rafael needing to get Noah upstairs so he could take a little nap. The boy was exhausted and would likely start to get cranky if he didn't get a little sleep before dinner time.

By the time they made it back to their Oceanview room, Rafael had Noah wrapped around him, dozing away on his shoulder. He laid him back on his bed, briefly wondering how sleeping arrangements were going to be made. Since he had little time to plan anything for this trip, and Liv offered for him to bunk with them, it left them one bed down. She decided that Noah would cram into the bed with her, but that was looking like it was going to get incredibly uncomfortable really quick.

"Uncle Rafa," Noah said sleepily, eyes closed as Rafael tugged the blanket up over him, uncaring that the sheets were probably going to be wet. Noah reached out and grabbed his hand, pulling on it until his palm rested on his chest. Rafael leaned down one knee next to him and ran his fingers through his semi-dry hair. "Why don't you come over to my house anymore?"

The question was unexpected, and it took him a few seconds to try and form an answer in his head. Noah took those few seconds as a bad sign and tightened his grip on his hand, "You used to come over all the time and now you don't. Did I do something bad?"

"No, no," Rafael shook his head and leaned over him. Noah opened his eyes tiredly and looked up at him. "You didn't do anything bad at all. I just…I got a different job and I haven't been able to come over a whole lot because I'm just busy all the time. You didn't do anything wrong, buddy. I wish I could come over and see you more often."

"Mommy said you needed time to yourself."

Rafael nodded, "Yeah. I did. But I don't anymore. I promise I'll come over more and see you. I'm sorry I haven't been lately."

"It's ok. I love you." Noah said it so easily and without preamble. It was so effortless it nearly brought tears to his eyes. Perhaps, that what he loved the most about Noah…that he loved and forgave so easily. It was so innocent and pure, something Rafael hadn't experienced in his line of work enough at all.

"I love you, too. Now get some sleep."

Noah was out within a minute, leaving Rafael there to stare at his little face. When his hands eventually loosened their grip on his hand, he stood and withdrew, feeling a sense of pride and unabashed love swelling in him. The moment was broken when he jumped and turned, seeing the bathroom door open to reveal Liv, who had changed into a long, floral maxi dress, and fixed her hair and makeup.

She smiled softly at him, and came to stand next to him, one of her hands resting on his back. He looked at her while she watched her son slumbering peacefully. "Thank you," she said, voice thick. He nodded and leaned forward, kissing her cheek and lingering for longer than necessary.

"I'll stay with him. You can go," he said and she nodded, not feeling the need to argue with him. She stepped past him and bent down to kiss Noah on the forehead. She would be back up in a few hours to wake him for dinner. For now, her and Amanda were going to go check out the casino with Rita and Fin.

"I'll be back in a few hours, ok? If you need something just call me," she said quietly, her hand landing on his shoulder and sliding down to his chest. He looked at her, his green eyes piercing her brown as his hand covered hers. For a minute, she thought that this was where it was going to happen. This was when she was going to kiss him for the first time, but Noah moaned and turned in his sleep and she decided that this definitely wasn't the time or place for it. They could do it later, when they were alone and talking.

"Ok. I'm going to go take a shower. Have fun," he whispered, letting go of her hand. She smiled and stepped past him to grab her purse. With one more look back, she left the room with a smile on her face, feeling something she hadn't felt in a long time.