A/N: ...I wasn't too happy with that last chapter, but THIS one was a LOT of fun.

The sounds of gunfire could be heard all across Washington as both the Aventurine soldiers and Homeworld's own forces closed in on the White House—alas, human weapons did next to nothing to the Gems, and members of the Secret Service were subdued left and right, some non-lethally, and some in quite a gory manner. Steven, Amethyst, Garnet, and Connie had already followed Pearl, Bismuth, and Peridot inside, so they were blissfully unaware of the death and destruction around them.

The boys, on the other hand, simply didn't care.

"We have to get in there!" Stan yelled over the gunfire. "I have to help Steven!"

A nearby secret service agent had his entire face blown off by a cannon blast from a Homeworld starship; Butters screamed in terror. "Aaaauuuuuugh! We gotta get AWAY from here, fellas!"

"Screw that, Butters, don't go all chicken-shit on me now!" Stan yelled.

"Chicken-shit keeps people alive!" Butters argued. "I'll tell you who's about to die! Pearl is going to die. Bismuth is going to die. All these secret service guys are going to die, Kenny is PROBABLY going to die, you know who's NOT going to die? Us."

"Butters is right!" Kyle said. "We have to get out of here!"

Kenny stepped forward. "Come on, guys, we can't give up now! We have to—" A stray bullet suddenly flew through the side of Kenny's head, killing him instantly and covering his friends in blood and brain matter. The boys stared at his lifeless body in shock for a moment before Butters glared at Stan.

"You see? YOU SEE? That is EXACTLY what I'm talking about!" he yelled. "If we don't get out of here right now, we are ALL going to end up like Kenny!"

"Fine, Butters, YOU run away like a pussy," Stan said, turning around and marching to the White House. "I'm going to go help my brother."

"STAAAAAAAN!" Stan suddenly heard from across the battlefield. "STAAAAAAAAAAAN!" Confused, Stan turned his head to the source of the noise, and was surprised to see his father running towards him… dressed like Michael Jackson, for some reason.

"Dad?" Stan said, still confused. "What are you doing here? And what's with the getup?"

"Stan, I just escaped from Guantanamo Bay!" Randy announced, as another secret service agent nearby had his entire torso blown off by a Homeworld cannon blast.

"Okay, but that doesn't explain the outfit," Stan replied as an Aventurine soldier used a chainsaw she'd acquired to completely saw a secret service agent in half.

"Stanley, there are things you DON'T KNOW about Rose Quartz," Randy said, completely ignoring the very messy decapitation that was occurring on a secret service agent by a machete-wielding Aventurine.

"Oh, god, not this," Stan groaned, rolling his eyes.

"She's just a girl who thinks that I am the one. But the kid is NOT my son," Randy protested. Suddenly, he grabbed his crotch and spun around. "HEE-HEE!" he squealed in a high-pitched voice. "But seriously though, Steven Universe CAN'T be my kid."

"Grow up and face the facts, dad," Stan argued, glaring at his father while a Homeworld vessel landed on and crushed a trio of secret service agents. "You knocked up Rose Quartz when you slept with her fifteen years ago and Steven is proof of that. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go help my brother put an end to this war once and for all." Stan turned back towards the White House and started running between the gunfire and the laser blasts.

"Stan!" Randy yelled out after his son. "Staaaan, wait!" Suddenly, the ship next to him opened its doors, and a group of Homeworld Quartz soldiers stepped out.

"Ladies," the leader said with a fat fucking smirk on her face, summoning her weapon—a big fucking sword. "Let's finish this war."

The group turned their attention to Randy, as he was the closest living being. "Oh, shit," he muttered. The Quartz leader swung her sword towards Randy, but to his credit, he dodged it pretty well. "OH!" Randy shouted in a high-pitched voice as he spun around the blade. "Ah! Tcha! Shamone!"

Unfortunately, just behind Randy was Mr. Mackey, who took the full brunt of the blow, the blade digging deep into his neck. "AGH! Uh, m'kay, that's bad," he said, blood gushing from his jugular. The Gem grinned sadistically as she violently yanked the sword from Mackey's neck, killing him and causing his half-decapitated body to fall onto the grass in a pool of blood. Randy stared at Mackey's lifeless corpse in shock.

"Jesus Christ, you guys don't fuck around, do you?" he asked. Another sword was thrust in his direction, but he dodged it like a pro, making more Jacksonian noises as he did so. "Ooh! Ah!" A hammer came down on him—he backflipped out of the way. "Hah! HEE-HEE!" He moonwalked past the Gems, who stared at him in awe.

"What is that, Commander?" one Quartz asked.

"Those are the greatest evasive maneuvers I've ever seen," the Quartz commander replied.

Randy ran towards the White House, skillfully dodging gunfire, laser blasts, and Gem weapons along the way using his sick moves. "Sha! Dogacha! Atcha!"

Randy ran past PC Principal, who was fighting off a group of Homeworld Quartz soldiers. "Marsh!" PC Principal called out. "Where are you going?"

"My son is running straight into danger!" Randy called back, not stopping. "I have to tell him the truth!"

"Godspeed, Marsh," PC Principal saluted. "Gods—" he stopped and started coughing blood—one of the Quartz soldiers jabbed a spear straight through his chest. "Agh! Aw, dude. Bro. Killed by an alien. The fuckin' irony, bro." As the life left his body, Kyle, Cartman, and Butters ran past him, having been joined by Wendy—the other students scattered when the fighting began, the Rubies took Ike to safety under Kyle's orders, and Tweek and Craig were nowhere to be found.

"Dude!" Kyle yelled. "They're killing all of our teachers!"

"And that's a bad thing because…?" Cartman asked, prompting a smack over the head from Kyle. "AY! Touch me again, you fuckin' Jew, see what happens!"

"Hang on a second, fellas!" Butters said, stopping in a safe area. "I don't see Mr. Garrison."

"Hey, yeah, where IS he?" Wendy asked.

Pearl and Bismuth entered the Oval Office, where several parents from South Park were waiting. "Bastards!" Bismuth exclaimed. "Real fuckin' upstanding citizens. There are two things Crystal Gems are supposed to do; they're supposed to prevent Kindergartens from being activated, and they're supposed to oppose Homeworld. So what do they do, the SECOND we leave their ranks? They activate a Kindergarten and they team up with Homeworld. Am I the only one who sees a problem with this?"

Pearl crossed her arms. "No, Bismuth, you aren't. But WE screwed up, too. ALL OF THIS is OUR fault."

"And another thing, what was with that puppet?"

"What the hell's going on out there?!" Sheila Broflovski asked, stepping forward. "It sounds a warzone!"

"That's because it IS a warzone," Pearl responded. "The Crystal Renegades, Homeworld, and a bunch of elementary school students are attacking."

"And WHERE'S Kyle?!"

"Mrs. Broflovski, I cannot lie to you. Kyle is probably dead."

"What what WHAT?!"

"In fact, all of your children probably perished when the fighting broke out," Pearl said, turning to the rest of the shocked parents.

Bismuth shook her head. "No… the Crystal Renegades were smart. They were crafty. They knew how to get themselves out of trouble. They're likely moving through the building as we speak."

"Nope, Kenny's dead," Stuart McCormick said suddenly, glancing at his wife. "We can just sort of tell when this kind of thing happens. The other kids are probably fine."

Sheila walked towards a door. "Well, I have to go find Kyle! He's not safe out there!"

"WE'RE not safe out there," Pearl growled. "They're coming for US."

Bismuth glared at Pearl. "Pearl, something's seriously out of whack with you. You're only concerned about your own wellbeing, but you know what you SHOULD be concerned with? Our friends and allies are teaming up with Homeworld! I mean, has this universe gone all topsy-turvy?!"

"Screw that!" a voice said from the back of the crowd of parents. Speaker of the House Paul Ryan emerged from the crowd, glaring at Pearl. "Your approval ratings are in the toilet! Why, WHY can't we get a Republican President that people actually like?!"

"Maybe the national Republican Party is out of touch," Stephen Stotch said. "Maybe you guys need to perhaps rethink your platform to better appeal to the American people, as political parties have done throughout history to stay in power, and as the Democrats are doing currently."

Paul Ryan glared at Stephen for a moment, before smacking him. "Shut up, Stepheeeeen!" he exclaimed. "And you!" he said, turning his attention back to Pearl. "You need to deal with that war that's happening out there, or our approval ratings are going to tank even more!"

"With all due respect, Mr. Speaker, I think we have bigger things to worry about than approval ratings," Pearl replied.

"I'm going to go find Kyle," Sheila said once again. "Is this the way out?" she asked as she opened a door. It wasn't the way out, it actually led into a walk-in closet—and the corpse of Pearl's chief of staff fell out onto the floor. "What what WHAT?!"

"Oh my god!" Stewart yelled.

Pearl's eyes widened. "...is he…?"

Stephen bent over the feel the man's pulse. "He's… he's dead…"

"Who could have done this?" Bismuth asked. Suddenly, she found herself staring at Pearl. "...did you…?"

"No! I had nothing to do with that!" Pearl denied.

"He's not only dead," Stephen said, "...his pants are down, and he's been rectally violated."

"Who would rape and execute the chief of staff?!" Greg exclaimed. Paul Ryan realized something.

"No…" he said. "He wasn't raped, and then executed. The two actions were one and the same. He… He was fucked to death."

"What?" Pearl asked, turning to him.

"We're all in grave danger," Ryan concluded. "He's here."

"Who is?" Bismuth asked.

Suddenly, the power cut out, leaving everyone in the dark. "Shit!" Ryan cursed under his breath. "We have to leave. Now. Everyone, grab a flashlight."

Pearl sighed. "Oh, jeez…"

Steven Universe explored the halls of the White House with Garnet, Amethyst, and Connie, a flashlight in his hand. "Peridot?" he called out. "Are you in here? Please, you need to think about what you're about to do!"

"Ugh, this is so BORRRIIIIIING," Amethyst groaned. "And on top of everything, NOW we're going to have to bubble Pearl, Bismuth, AND Peridot? Man, today SUCKS."

"No, we're not bubbling any of them," Steven shook his head. "We just have to get everyone in the same room so we can all talk it out."

"Yeah, that's not happening, dude," Amethyst rolled her eyes. "Peridot's been talking for WEEKS about how she's gonna shatter Pearl, I don't think she's gonna back down now."

"Oh Peeeaaaaarl~!" Steven suddenly heard Peridot's voice echo through the dark halls. "Where are yoooou? I've got a surpriiiise for you~!"

"That sounds like her," Steven muttered. "We must be getting close."

Connie tapped Steven's shoulder. "Um. Is this a bad time to tell you Peridot has your mom's sword?"

"Wait, WHAT?!"

Connie scratched the back of her neck with an embarrassed look on her face. "Yeah, she asked me if she could borrow it on the walk over here. I didn't ask what she needed it for, and in retrospect, I probably should have, but she has it now, sooo…" Connie sighed. "I'm not proud of that. Pearl's screwed, that's what I'm trying to say. I mean, if that sword's good enough to shatter Pink Diamond, I'm guessing Pearl doesn't really stand a chance." She paused awkwardly for another moment, before putting a hand on Steven's shoulder. "Sorry for your loss."

Steven called out, more desperately, into the empty halls. "Peridot! Come on, let's talk about this! Somewhere out there is an alternate universe where we're not all trying to kill each other, and Garnet is married and has a one-eyed cat named 'Steven '. Think about how wacky that is! And all you have to do to make that happen is NOT shatter Pearl. Look, when this is all over, we can even go to Springfield! You know how much you wanted to go to Springfield?"

"Steven, I don't think that's going to get through to her," Amethyst rolled her eyes. "YO!" she called out. "P-dot! I'm all mad at Pearl too, but killing her AIN'T the way to get back at her. Let's just stick her in jail forever, that's a WAY better punishment, it means she has to live with it!"

Garnet stepped forward as well. "Peridot! We'll all love and support you no matter what you choose to do!" she called out. She stopped when she realized everyone was staring at her. "Oops. Maybe that'll just encourage her."

Peridot, meanwhile, was deep within the twisted halls of the White House, dragging Rose Quartz's sword behind her. "Agh! Sheesh, this thing is heavy. How am I supposed to shatter Pearl with something I can barely carry?" Groaning, she weakly swung the sword over her head, its blade landing on the ground in front of her with a thud. "Hmm. I wonder…" she muttered as she dropped the sword's handle altogether. Then, waving her hand, she raised the apparently metallic sword into the air using her ferrokinesis. "Hah! It's made of metallic materials? This makes NO sense, but I'll take it." She practiced a few swings… and nearly sliced two boys in half.

"Hey!" Craig yelled. "Watch where you're waving that thing, asshole."

"Agh!" Tweek twitched.

Peridot raised an eyebrow. "Tweek? Craig? What are you two doing here?"

"We're trying to sneak into the Oval Office," Craig responded. "Some fat undead pink-haired bitch told us to, along with Chef and La—" Tweek elbowed his boyfriend. "—Uh, I mean, a skinny depressed blue-haired bitch."

"Yeah, that's not much better, Craig," Tweek whispered.

Peridot shrugged. "If you're looking for Pearl and Bismuth, don't bother. I already checked, they aren't in there."

"Shit!" Tweek exclaimed. "They're probably carrying the nuclear football around with them!"

"No, no footballs of an atomic nature were in the room," Peridot said, shaking her head. "But check it out! I found this neat briefcase!" Peridot held the briefcase in front of her. "I'm going to take it as a souvenir!"

Craig widened his eyes. "That's the nuclear football!"

Peridot was confused. "It is? But, it's not a football, and it's not made of plutonium or uranium or any other elements you would typically find in a nuclear bomb."

Craig snatched the football from Peridot's hands. "Me and Tweek need this, okay?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, I mean, I found it, but no, yeah, just take what's rightfully mine, I guess." Peridot glared at Tweek and Craig as they ran in the opposite direction. "Pssh. I didn't want that nuclear football anyway. Now, back to my ORIGINAL objective…" she said as she continued her search for Pearl and Bismuth. "Oh, this is going to feel so good…"

"Do you really think so, Peridot?" Peridot heard a familiar voice from around the corner. It sounded more than 'familiar', actually. It sounded like… like her own voice. Peridot turned around; from out of the shadows stepped another Peridot; one who she hadn't seen in nearly a year. "Remember me, Peridot?

Back in orbit, Lars and the Off-Colors were desperately attempting to hail the approaching Homeworld ships, to no avail. Frustrated, Lars slammed the console. "Rutile! Hail Aquamarine!"

"Hailing!" Aquamarine and Topaz were soon on-screen.

"Aquamarine! Why is Homeworld's entire damn fleet entering the atmosphere?!" Lars asked.

Aquamarine looked just as panicked as he. "Why should I know?! I haven't been in contact with ANY of them since I left Homeworld!"

Lars growled. "Steven, I really hope you have a plan…" he muttered. Suddenly, he lost connection with Aquamarine. "Aquamarine? Hello, Aquamarine? Peridots! Get her back online!"

Army the Peridot looked rather distraught. "She's not in orbit anymore."

"What?!"

"She's been shot down!"

That was the last thing Lars heard before his ship was completely obliterated by an extremely powerful cannon blast, killing him and shattering all of the Off-Colors instantly.

The attacking vessel, Yellow Diamond's own warship, made its way into Earth's atmosphere, followed very closely by Blue Diamond's warship. White Diamond didn't bother showing up again, the lazy bitch.

Aboard Yellow Diamond's vessel, was, obviously, Yellow Diamond herself, but also her Pearl, Saddam, and an army of Jaspers, Rubies, and Amethysts. Saddam grinned. "Gee, this sure is exciting! We're going to go destroy Earth!" he exclaimed with glee.

"We aren't going to destroy Earth, you idiot," Yellow Diamond glared. "We're going to help the Crystal Gem rebels overthrow their tyrant leader. THEN we're going to destroy Earth."

Meanwhile, nearby, a ship from the planet Rigel VII watched as the Diamonds approached Earth. The ship's only two inhabitants, two Rigelians—large, green, tentacled, drooling aliens with singular eyes and goofy space helmets—observed the approach. "Drat!" one—Kang—cursed. "The Great Diamond Authority is besieging Earth!"

"WE were going to do that!" the other Rigelian—Kodos—complained. "Shoot them down at once!"

"I can't!" Kang replied. "This ship doesn't have any weapons."

"I told you we should not have gotten the LE model," Kodos quipped, rolling his eye.

"LE stands for 'Luxury Edition'!" Kang defended. "How was I supposed to know that the Luxury Edition was the worst edition?!"

"Well, at least we got to do this cameo appearance," Kodos sighed. Just then, the ship shook violently, and alarms began to blare. "Agh! We're being shot down!"

"I can't believe we're being killed off in our own cameo appearance!" Kang complained as their ship careened towards the planet.

As it entered the atmosphere, the friction of the ship's surface against the air caused it to catch fire—until it crashed straight into the White House's east wing in a fiery explosion, completely collapsing that side of the mansion, killing several bystanders on impact, and causing a huge explosion that could be seen from across the district. Kyle, Cartman, Wendy, and Butters shielded their eyes from the explosion.

"Holy shit, dude, what was that?!" Kyle exclaimed.

"I-I think I have an idea of what that was, Kyle," Butters warned, pointing to the sky. "Look!"

Blue and Yellow Diamond's warships approached the nation's capital, Yellow having previously made her presence known when the invasion began via a loudspeaker on the lead ship. But now she was ACTUALLY here.

Well, okay, the boys didn't know that for a fact YET. They could just take guesses, based on how each ship was several miles long and shaped like a fist. One was blue, one was yellow—it was an easy guess to make, okay?

"Holy shit," Kyle muttered. "Oh, fuck. Those are the Diamonds. The big evil space dictators Steven's always talking about. We're fucked, dude. We are so fucking fucked."

"Kyle, in case we don't make it out of this…" Cartman began, "...I always hated you."

Kyle grabbed Cartman's hand, and Butters grabbed his. "I know, Cartman. I know."

Wendy glanced over her shoulder, back at the mansion. "Stan's in there," she muttered. "I have to make sure he's okay."

"Go," Kyle ordered. "We'll hold them off."

"...they're just going to step on you."

"Yeah, that's… that's probably what's about to happen. Just go."

Wendy grabbed Kyle, Cartman, and Butters in a tight hug. "I won't forget you three."

"Ugh, gross," Cartman groaned.

Nodding, Wendy released the hug and ran into the White House. The boys stood their ground, even as the Diamonds' warships landed, and they began to exit.

"So, this is Earth now," Yellow said, admiring the area. "What a dump. I can't wait until that cluster emerges."

"And when was that due?" Blue asked.

"Two Earth-years ago." Yellow Diamond glanced down at the ground, and gave a puzzled look to the boys at her feet. "Ah. You must be the humans who call themselves 'Crystal Gems'."

"Well, technically, Miss, that was all Stan," Butters corrected her. "Uh—I-I'm sorry. I don't mean to be rude, it's just—"

"Silence," Yellow ordered. "We're here to shatter the Pearl."

"Well that's the thing," Kyle explained. "We kind of think you… shouldn't do that."

"Oh? And why not?"

"...because, that would be fucked up."

Yellow Diamond couldn't help but laugh. "Hah! Look around, human. Gaze upon the destruction that Pearl has wrought. Would you not say she's EARNED a slow, painful death?"

"I-I don't believe in the death penalty, ma'am," Butters said meekly. "I-I think everyone deserves a second chance. I think anyone can be a good guy if they just try." Yellow Diamond raised an eyebrow. Butters tried to keep going. "Why… I think… I think even YOU could be a good guy."

Blue Diamond's sad eyes glared at Butters. "Are you implying our cause is not noble?"

"N-no ma'am!" Butters said quickly. "Uh, look, I'm sure there are a LOT of good reasons to want to kill people and colonize planets! Tons and tons of reasons! It's just, uh, maybe you haven't thought about… you know, how everyone ELSE feels about it?"

Nearby, Rose Quartz, Lapis Lazuli, and Chef observed the exchange while they waited for Tweek and Craig to return. "Oh, Butters, you poor, poor idiot," Lapis muttered. "The Diamonds don't listen to words."

Rose watched Butters intently. "Maybe I just didn't try hard enough…"

"...what?"

Yellow Diamond rolled her eyes at Butters. "Move it. I'm tired of you."

"W-Wait a second, ma'am!" Butters pleaded desperately. "Don't you want to just talk about it?"

"No. Stand aside, before I move you by force."

Rose glared at Yellow. "I have to do something," she said, standing up from her hiding spot.

"Rose!" Lapis hissed. "What are you—?!" she stopped when Rose was engulfed in a bright light. "...what the hell…?"

As Rose moved towards the confrontation between the boys and the Diamonds, her form began to change. She got taller, her waist skinnier, her legs longer, her hair dumber, and she continued to march.

"L-look, we're real mad at Pearl too, believe me!" Butters continued to try and convince Yellow Diamond. "But we're dealing with it! We don't NEED your help!"

"Then why was I called?" Yellow Diamond asked.

"What the—? You called US!" Kyle argued.

"And you didn't REFUSE the call at the time."

"Yeah, Stan doesn't really think about things," Cartman admitted. "He's kind of an impulsive dickbag."

The boys and the Diamonds let that statement sit in the air for a moment, with only the sounds of gunfire, flames, and explosives to be heard. Suddenly, the (very loud) silence was cut short by one voice; "Yellow!"

Caught by surprise, the boys turned around to face the source of the noise. The Diamonds glared ahead.

"Who dares…" Yellow began, trailing off when she realized who dared. "...what?"

"The…?" Blue continued.

"Fuck?" Kyle finished. "Seriously, who is this? I have no idea."

"Pink?" Blue managed to croak out, her voice hoarse. "Can it really be…?"

"That's impossible!" Yellow denied. "You're dead! Shattered, by Rose Quartz!"

Kyle raised his eyebrows. "Holy shit. That's the one Steven kept talking about. That's Pink Diamond!"

Butters began to cower. "O-oh, hamburgers!"

Back in her hiding spot, Lapis watched the exchange, confused. "I don't get it. What does Rose think she's going to accomplish by impersonating Pink Diamond?"

"I don't think she's impersonating," Chef muttered. "Think about it, Lapis. We never saw Pink Diamond in Hell with us. Only Rose!"

"Well, yeah, but we also never went looking for her," Lapis pointed out. "I thought it'd be awkward, since we're always with Rose. Also, I have no stake in the whole 'Pink Diamond' situation whatsoever so, like, who cares?"

"Don't you get it, Lapis?" Chef asked. "Rose Quartz didn't kill Pink Diamond. She WAS Pink Diamond, like in The Empire Strikes Back."

"Wow, that's pretty messed up. So, wait, does that mean STEVEN is Pink Diamond?" Lapis blinked. "Did Steven know about this? Did PEARL know about this? Is Pearl a huge liar, like Obi-Wan? Does Steven have to fight his mom, now?"

While Chef and Lapis conversed, Pink Diamond continued to address Yellow and Blue. "Yes, it is I," she said dramatically. "I have returned from beyond the grave."

"Drama queen," Cartman quipped.

"I stand before you to—" Pink was cut off by the tight hug she suddenly found herself in. The much-taller Blue and Yellow Diamond gripped her tightly—Blue was sobbing, and Yellow appeared to be fighting back tears as well.

"How is this POSSIBLE?!" Yellow asked incredulously. "And where is your Gem?!"

"It's a long, long, LONG story," Pink replied. "One which I'm sure you'll want to hear."

"Can you give us the Cliff Notes version?" Kyle asked. "We're kind of on a time limit."

Pink sighed. "Okay, I'll make this quick. So, it all started about ten thousand years ago—"

"UGGGGGHHH!" Kyle, Cartman, and Butters all groaned loudly.

Pearl got up from the ground, coughing. The entire building shook, and it appeared the wing they were in had partially collapsed. "Agh, is everyone okay?" She looked around. Nobody. It appeared her group was separated in the collapse. "Hello? Bismuth? Sheila? Speaker Ryan? CLASSi? Is anyone there?"

"I'm over here!" Paul Ryan shouted from across the collapsed wall. "There's too much rubble, I can't get over there!"

"Is anyone else with you?" Pearl asked. "Can you find another way around?"

"I think so… I'm alone, but I think the others are nearby…" Ryan turned around. "I'm going to find another way around."

"Good luck."

Ryan heard footsteps. Pearl had moved on to find other members of their party. Ryan sighed. "Damn it. She doesn't give a shit about her approval ratings. What the hell are we going to do now?" Ryan started moving through the dark halls. "There's no way I can fix this before the midterms. This party is ruined."

The Speaker of the House looked around. "Hello? Anyone there?" Suddenly, he heard footsteps. Eyes widening, Ryan turned around. "P-Pearl? Is that you?" Silence. "...Is… is anyone there?" Again, no response. Sufficiently freaked out, he began walking again. "Calm down, Paul, you're just paranoid," he told himself. "You're fine. Everything is fine. You're going to fix this mess and get your party back on top in time for the midterms."

More footsteps, followed this time by soft muttering. "Chugga, chugga, ah, ah, ah…" the voice chanted.

"W-who's there?!" Paul Ryan's heart was racing, adrenaline rushed through his veins as he started to pick up the pace. "I-I'm warning you, stay back!" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the silhouette of a stalker. He turned around, the shadow was gone. More footsteps. More whispers. He turned around, more shadows. Where was he now? He couldn't remember which direction he was moving, was it this way or that way? East or west? Oh, god, he was going to die here!

The Speaker of the House started to sprint. He rounded a corner and hid to catch his breath. "Hah… hah… did I lose him?"

"Hello, Paul," Ryan heard the terrifying Arkansas accent from across the hall.

There he was, in the shadows. He began to slowly march over to Paul, who started to cower. "N-no! Stay back!" It was no use. The man—nay, the monster continued to stalk towards him. A hungry slasher smile crept across the assailant's orange face. "I'm warning you, stay back! No! No! Nooooo!"

Peridot heard the screams, and looked around. "Did you hear that?" she asked her companion, one of the few Peridots still left alive, the so-called 'Era III', although to Peridot's knowledge, Homeworld was still in its second era. Returning to the task at hand, Peridot shook her head. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. What are YOU doing here?" Peridot realized something. The last time she saw her "sister"...

Era III glanced out at the ocean. She watched the waves crash against the shoreline for a moment before resuming her thought. "Would you have killed that reporter? If he hadn't begged for his life?"

"Of course not."

"Hmm. But the hundreds of other Peridots on Homeworld, you were perfectly fine with getting THEM killed?"

Peridot's eyes widened. "So… you finally know who the traitor is."

"I was able to connect the dots, yes." Era III looked back up at Peridot. "And those gems back there. They're Crystal Gems, aren't they?"

"Please—"

"And that human isn't a human, otherwise, you wouldn't have been able to fuse with him," Era III continued, her voice getting angrier and angrier. "That was Rose Quartz. The Rose Quartz. The leader of the rebellion that left MILLIONS dead."

"Don't hurt them, please," Peridot pleaded. "They don't have any interest in continuing the war."

"I'm not here for THEM, Peridot," Era III corrected, her voice trembling with anger. "I was given one task when I was sent here. Yellow Diamond tasked me with ONE thing. You do know what it is, don't you?"

"Yes, you told me in quite terrifying detail what you planned to do once you found the—"

"DON'T be a smartass, Peridot!" Era III yelled. "Hundreds of innocent, hard-working gems who actually APPRECIATED the jobs they were given are DEAD because of you. You are the LAST Era II left. Do you think that's fair?"

"I think—"

"Do you think that's fair?!"

"No, I don't. I don't think that's fair."

"So what is it about YOU specifically?" Era III continued to question. "Why do you value YOUR life over the lives of the other Peridots?"

"I didn't know Yellow Diamond would—"

"Yes you did!" Era III shouted. "Yes you did. You knew what the consequences for treason were, and you KNEW how disposable we, as Peridots, were to the Authority."

"I don't value my life over any others," Peridot sighed. "I did what I did to protect my friends and this planet. Please understand that I didn't want ANYONE to be shattered."

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT!" Peridot took a step back, as her counterpart was practically screaming now. "Whatever your 'intention' was doesn't MATTER! Just because you 'meant well' doesn't mean you didn't SCREW UP! It doesn't mean you don't have to be accountable for your actions!"

"Peridot, I'm so sorry, I didn't…" Peridot trailed off.

"You know what comes next, don't you?"

Peridot closed her eyes and nodded. "Yeah. I know what comes next."

"Good. Because I'm tired of yelling. It's time to finally deal with you, once and for all."

Era III summoned her weapon. Peridot stared at the drill, dread filling every inch of her soul. This was it. Judgement day. It all ended here. Peridot shut her eyes once again and tried not to think about her fate. She heard the drill power up, she heard it get closer to her forehead, she could feel the heat emanating from it. It got closer, and closer, and closer, until...

Crunch.

…

Peridot opened an eye. Era III stood inches away from her, her face a tormented, distraught glare. Peridot opened her other eye and looked to her right.

The drill was firmly embedded in the cliffside behind her, just inches from her head.

"Now we're both traitors," Era III said, disgust dripping in her voice. Leaving the drill behind, she stepped back, turned, and began to walk away.

"Uh… huh? What?" Peridot started to follow her. "I'm sorry, why am I still alive?"

"Because living with the knowledge that you doomed Peridots to extinction is a far greater punishment than death," Era III replied, back to Peridot. "Because of my betrayal, the remaining Era III's, and perhaps what's left of the originals, will be eradicated. We are now the only two Peridots left. They don't exist anymore."

"O-oh." Peridot took a step back. "Where are you going?"

"Who knows. I can't go back to Homeworld anymore."

Peridot scratched the back of her head. "Uh… you know, there's room for you back at the barn. I mean, if you don't have a place to—"

"Peridot," Era III interrupted. "I don't want to stay with you. I don't want to join the Crystal Gems. I don't want anything to do with you. If I EVER see you again, I will KILL you, do you understand? It would be best for you if we never crossed paths again."

Peridot just stared, shocked. "I… but where will you go?"

"Quit pretending you care. You never did." With that, Era III turned and left.

Peridot finally realized. "You… you're here to kill me."

Era III shook her head, then turned her back on Peridot and paced the hall. "I've been walking the planet ever since we parted ways last year," she revealed. "I tried to figure out what exactly it was about this planet that made you turn on Homeworld. And you know what? I still don't get it. So, I returned to Beach City to ask you directly.

"Of course, by that point, it seemed you Crystal Gems had already screwed everyone ELSE, too," Era III laughed, turning to face Peridot once again. "The war with Canada had already escalated and your Pearl somehow managed to become the supreme leader of the planet." She paused, and glared at Peridot. "Are you understanding how ridiculous all of this sounded to me at the time?"

"It—it is a little silly, yes."

"So, I figured you would be at the planetary capital," Era III continued. "But then you weren't in Berlin, so I checked Hong Kong. Then, I checked Empire City, Springfield, and finally, Los Angeles. Then somebody told me that the capital of the planet is in a SWAMP?" Era III shook her head. "This planet doesn't make any sense. So, I went to Washington. Then I was told I had gone to the wrong Washington. So I came HERE, to the OTHER Washington, where finally I found you. But I see now that you Crystal Gems appear to be fighting some sort of internal battle."

"Yeah, well, I'm putting an end to that real soon," Peridot scoffed, gripping Rose Quartz's sword in her hand. "The last few months have been building up to this. I'm finally going to have my revenge on the two irredeemable cunts who hurt me and the people I loved."

"Are you, Peridot?" Era III asked. "I've heard stories of your exploits. Back in Puerto Rico, you were incapable of striking down the reporter who tried to kill you. You refused to end the life of Mr. Garrison, the man who ordered the hit on your friends. You couldn't shatter the fusion, either. What makes you think you'll be able to go through with it this time?"

"The difference here is that this time, my mind is made up. There's no going back."

Era III disagreed. "As long as the Pearl and the Bismuth remain alive, there's always a chance to go back."

"What, are you trying to talk me down?" Peridot asked.

"Quite the contrary, if you're set on this, I will not stop you." Era III stepped forward. "I simply don't believe you're capable of doing it. As a Peridot, I know that logic and reason override your emotions in the end."

"Why didn't you kill me?" Peridot asked abruptly.

"What?"

"Back then, in Beach City," Peridot reminded her. "I was at your mercy. Your orders were to shatter me. Why didn't you do it?"

Era III took a moment to ponder the question. She knew the answer, she just didn't know how to say it. Finally, she found the words. "I want to say it was because you weren't worth the effort, but that's simply not true. Nor is it true, as I had previously told you, that I believed survivor's guilt was a fitting punishment for what you had done, and in any case you seem to have forgotten about the thousands of Peridots that died in your stead."

"That's not true—"

"Save it," Era III cut her off. "I spared you… because it felt like the right thing to do, at the time."

"...excuse me?"

"Peridots are emotional, but we don't act ON our emotions," Era III explained. "Logic and reason—and, yes, maybe my emotions, but primarily the first two—dictated that… that killing you would have been the wrong thing to do. Because most importantly, we act on our MORALS, BECAUSE we're so logical and reasonable. Sparing you was, logically, the morally right thing to do. As much as I refused to admit it at the time, you aren't a bad person, Peridot. You do what you believe to be the right thing to do, and because of that, I didn't believe you deserved to die. And I don't think you truly believe Pearl and Bismuth deserve death either.

"But hey, I digress," Era III concluded her rather lengthy explanation. "Like you said, your mind is already made up. Whatever your decision, for better or for worse, you've already made it, and I won't try and sway your mind one way or the other. Really, I could care less WHAT you do—it's not MY friends you're about to kill. It's yours."

"Well, actually, I've never even MET Bismuth, but I appreciate the point you're trying to make." This earned Peridot a half-lidded glare from her sister. "Uh. Regardless. I've already made my decision, as you said, so if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go… confirm my decision." Peridot turned around and began walking down the hall.

"You don't have to be a slave to Mitch Conner, Peridot," Era III called out to her, catching her by surprise. "You're better than that."

"...how do you know about Mitch Conner?"

"Mitch Conner and Mr. Hat aren't the reality-warping super villains you think they are," Era III continued. "They only have as much control over you as you allow them to."

"Mitch does not 'control' me, thank you very much," Peridot denied indignantly. "I act independently of her."

"I know you do, though you yourself don't seem very convinced." Era III shrugged. "Whatever. You'll find out what I mean with time." She turned around.

"Wait!" Peridot called out. "Where are you going?"

"The Diamonds are here," Era III reminded her. "I'm getting the hell out of here."

"Oh."

"Yeah, I'd hate to be in your limb enhancers."

"I don't have limb enhancers anymore."

Era III rolled her eyes. "Oh, it's a figure of speech. Quit pretending you don't 'get' those, you've been on Earth for like three years." With that, she left Peridot alone. Shrugging, Peridot returned to her mission to cap Pearl like an ice cold killa. Except… now, she wasn't as sure that she wanted to do it.

"Oh, great," she groaned. "Now if I kill them, I'll feel guilty. Lousy Steven, teaching me empathy."

"Steven?" Peridot heard a young boy's voice in the halls. "Steven, are you in here?" Stan Marsh appeared around the corner. "Steven, I have something I need to tell you!"

"Stan?" Peridot looked mildly surprised. "The whole building is coming down, what are you still doing here?"

"I have to stand by my brother," Stan replied with a determined look on his face. "I fucked up by calling Homeworld. But we can still fix this."

"You and Steven are related by blood?" Peridot asked, slightly disgusted. "That's… disturbing on multiple levels. Does that mean Rose Quartz gave up her physical form to create you, too?"

"What? No, my dad had sex with his mom and then she made him."

"Oof. Poor Greg."

"I need to find him before—" the building shook once more. "Shit! I think another collapse is happening!"

"We need to move," Peridot ordered. "Now!" She and Stan ran through the halls of the White House as the building continued to shake. Eventually, they came to an intersection, which the White House seemed to have a LOT of, and you guys can't even prove me wrong, what are you, a staffer? At said intersection, they ran into Pearl, Sheila Broflovski, and CLASSi.

"Peridot, Stanley!" Pearl said, surprised. "Listen, we can talk about all of the horrible things I've done later, but right now—" Pearl narrowly dodged a rather club-like swing from Rose's sword. "Peridot! Listen! I get it, you're upset, but—"

"Upset?" Peridot asked. "UPSET?! Pearl. That has to be the understatement of the millennium!"

"Okay, so I suppose diplomacy is out of the question," Pearl chuckled nervously.

"Peridot, wait!" Stan tried to talk Peridot down. "We don't have time for this."

Wendy joined the group. "Stan, there you are! The whole building's coming down, we need to get out of here."

"Where's Kyle?!" Sheila asked. "Is he with you?!"

"Kyle's fine," Stan replied. "I think. Last time I checked, he was out on the lawn."

"He's trying to talk down the Diamonds," Wendy clarified.

Stan thought about that for a few seconds. "Shit."

"Peridot!" Peridot suddenly heard Steven's voice yell from down the hall. Steven, Garnet, Amethyst, and Connie all met up with the group. First, Steven stared at Stan, but realized there were more pressing matters, and turned his attention back to Peridot. "Please, DON'T kill Pearl," he pleaded. "This isn't going to bring Lapis back."

"I don't CARE about that," Peridot spat. "I KNOW it isn't going to bring her back. But it'll make ME feel good." With that, Peridot turned her attention back to Pearl. "As for YOU, I'm hoping you won't make this harder than it has to be. Hold still, please."

Pearl glanced at the others. She stared at CLASSi, who was filing her nails. "Do something!" she ordered.

"The gay little gremlin ain't beefin' on me," CLASSi noted with a slight hint of sass in her voice. "We cool. You gotta learn to not make enemies in this world, it's how you get iced. I ain't no Jasper-ass-bitch, I'm not looking for a fight, I'm a CLASSi-ass-ho."

Pearl turned her attention back to Peridot. "Listen, Peridot, I get it. Lapis's death was horrible, you have every RIGHT to be angry. But… am I really the one you should be angry with?"

"What are you talking about?" Peridot asked, still glaring.

"I mean… let's face it. BISMUTH killed Lapis," Pearl pointed out. "I'm not the enemy. SHE is. SHE'S the whole reason this war escalated. I made a mistake in trusting her. I see that now."

Steven was caught off-guard by that. "What… what are you saying, Pearl?"

"Peridot, I want to HELP YOU avenge Lapis," Pearl continued. "We just need to find Bismuth, and then we'll be able to take care of her… together."

"What—what the hell?!" Steven exclaimed. "Pearl, you're throwing Bismuth under the bus?!"

"Dude, THAT'S fucked up," Stan said, glaring at Pearl and crossing his arms.

"Mrs. President, you're absolutely disgusting!" Sheila accused.

"Mhmm, that's the code of the streets," CLASSi said, not looking up from her nails. "Don't throw a nigga under the bus, and don't be a snitch."

Pearl realized she fucked up by saying that, but didn't back down. It was her life or Bismuth's. "Look, we ALL know Bismuth's bad news. She tried to kill Rose, she tried to kill Steven, she tried to kill Kenny, she DID kill Lapis… can't we all at least agree that SHE'S the real enemy here?"

"Why don't you tell her that yourself?" Garnet asked. Her eyes wide, Pearl turned around to see Bismuth approaching from an intersecting hallway, glaring at her.

"I've been trying to talk you down since last month!" Bismuth yelled. "I wanted to end this war. It was YOU who pushed things too far." Realizing Peridot was glaring at her, she sighed. "Agh, no. I pushed things too far. Peridot. What I did to Lapis was unforgivable and I am sorry for that. Whatever you want to do with me after we get out of this is completely fair."

Still glaring at Bismuth, Peridot jerked her head. "Get over here. Stand next to Garnet."

This surprised Bismuth. "I… Okay. Sure." She complied, and stood next to Garnet.

"I will deal with you later," Peridot clarified. "Don't think you're out of the proverbial woods yet."

"Peridot, you're being hysterical," Pearl scoffed. "Now it's about time you abandon this childish little Witch Hunt so that we can get back to what matters, which is the Diamond invasion of Earth that YOU solicited, you hypocrite."

"No, they had nothing to do with it," Stan said, deciding to come clean. "It was me. I did it. I thought if I negotiated peace with Homeworld on your guys' behalf, Steven would think I was cool. The truth is that all of the Gem shit… everyone thinks it's super lame and super gay, and maybe it is, but I think it's really cool." He turned to Steven. "Steven, I look up to you. Really, I do. We're different. Like, REALLY different. But somehow, I feel like our worlds… mesh together really well. I feel like Steven Universe and South Park go together better than you think. I did the wrong thing by trying to get Homeworld's help, but I only did it because I wanted to impress you."

Steven was surprised. He didn't know that Stan… respected him that much. Or at all. In fact, he thought Stan disliked him. The thought that this kid who bore no relation to him whatsoever would try so hard to impress him was so touching to him, that he started to tear up. "Stan… I'm sorry I said you weren't Crystal Gem material. I was wrong. You did exactly what a Crystal Gem would have done—mess up horribly, then come clean about your mistakes."

"So… are we cool?"

Steven opened up his arms. "Come on, Stan. There's always room for one more in the Crystal Gems."

Smiling, Stan stepped forward and hugged his half-brother. "Thanks, big bro."

Steven blinked, and frowned. "Big bro? Excuse me?"

Amethyst tapped Steven's shoulder. "Hey, you're still crying. Are you okay?"

Steven frowned even more, and felt his eyes, which were still wet. "This isn't because of Stan…" he realized.

Herself realizing what was happening, Garnet quickly turned to face the wall. "Everyone, get down!" she shouted. Just as everyone registered what she'd said, the wall suddenly came down, covering the area in dust, asbestos, and rubble. Everyone started coughing as the dust cloud cleared, and stared at the newly formed hole, to see…

"Kyle!" Sheila exclaimed. "Thank god you're okay!"

"Oh, there you guys are," Kyle greeted, stepping over the collapsed wall. "We've been looking all over for you."

"Who's 'we'?" Peridot asked. Glancing up, she gasped in terror and backed up against the other wall.

Yellow and Blue Diamond were standing behind Kyle, Cartman, and Butters. Behind them was another, shorter figure that the others couldn't quite make out.

"My word, this place is a wreck," Yellow said as she glanced around. She was entirely too large to step inside, but she figured everyone could see her just fine.

"Yellow Diamond?!" Bismuth exclaimed. "Oh man, things just got a whole lot more complicated!"

"Yeah, I know!" CLASSi agreed. "Why's this shit gotta be all fuckin' convoluted and shit? Remember when it was just Member Berries and shit?"

"Ooh, I 'Member!" shouted the leader of a trio of Member Berries which had been sitting on the floor next to Pearl's foot. "'Member when Peridot was the Mayor?"

"Oh, I wish I didn't 'Member that," another Member Berry lamented.

"Kyle, what the hell's going on?" Stan asked, staring uncomfortably at the Diamonds.

"And where's Kenny?" Peridot followed up.

"Oh, they killed Kenny," Kyle waved the question off. "I mean, not the Diamonds, but you know."

"Yeah, yeah, they're bastards, we get that," Stan said as he rolled his eyes. "We don't have time for that. How come YOU'RE getting along with the Diamonds?"

Kyle looked up at the two space dictators standing over him. "Oh! Right! We've got someone here that sort of… talked us through it. She explained everything to us… sort of convinced us that we're all on the same side, here. She reminded me of Steven, actually."

Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Who on Earth has the clout to talk the Great Diamond Authority into an alliance with humans?"

Kyle quickly glanced at Cartman and Butters, who nodded to him. The three looked up at Yellow and Blue, who also gave an approving nod. "Guys… there's someone you should meet. She's kind of… the reason we're all here now." He, Cartman, and Butters stood aside, as did Blue and Yellow Diamond, revealing Pink Diamond, her posture straight and dignified.

Pearl stepped forward, her eyes widening. "Pink…?" She glanced down at Pink's naval. No gem. She quickly stared at Steven. "But how…?"

Pink stepped forward as she began to address her audience. "Greetings, humans… Crystal Gems… Pearl…"

For some reason, as Pink Diamond spoke, her words seemed to echo in Steven's head, as if… no, wait. Echoes happen AFTER. These were happening BEFORE she spoke. Steven was predicting her words. Next, she'd be saying I come here today…

"I come here today… from beyond the grave," Pink said dramatically, to soft gasps from everyone around. "I've come from the depths of Hell to-"

"Yeah, right," Peridot groaned, rolling her eyes. "There's no such thing as Hell. This isn't Pink Diamond. This is clearly an impersonator. Steven's fat mom shattered Pink Diamond centuries ago, we ALL know this. She doesn't even have her Gem."

"No, she doesn't," Kyle verified. "...HE does," he said a moment later, pointing directly at Steven.

Steven gasped in shock. "What?! Me?!"

Peridot scoffed and walked towards Pink Diamond, hands on her hips. "Oh, this is ABSURD. I am a CERTIFIED kindergartener. I have seen Steven's Gem HUNDREDS of times, and I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that the Gem he possesses is one of a Quartz variety.

Cartman blinked. "Maybe you're actually just terrible at your job."

Ignoring Cartman, Peridot continued, gesturing to Steven. "If Steven's Gem TRULY once belonged to Pink Diamond, then that would mean that Rose Quartz's Gem once belonged to Pink Diamond. And we ALL know that's not the case, because Rose Quartz SHATTERED Pink Diamond. ...is what they WANT us to think." Peridot started walking towards Yellow instead. "Rather, every single piece of evidence that we've dug up points to YELLOW DIAMOND being Pink's actual killer. It's the only theory that makes any SENSE! The only other person who could have gotten close enough to Pink Diamond to kill her was PEARL," Peridot pointed an accusing finger at Pearl. "But we all know that Pearl belonged to WHITE DIAMOND, not Pink. And with all of that being said, Pearl and I have some unfinished business, so if you'll excuse me..." Giggling madly, Peridot ran to the wall, where she'd dropped Rose's sword, and picked it up, then ran towards Pearl.

"Peridot, NO!" Steven pleaded as Peridot swung towards Pearl once again. Dodging the swing, Pearl pushed her way past Sheila and CLASSi and ran down the hall, away from Peridot. Steven, Bismuth, Amethyst, and Garnet also gave chase.

"Shit!" Stan yelled. "We have to stop Peridot before she fucks everything up!"

Kyle turned to the Diamonds. "You guys, go around the building! See if you can cut them off!"

Pink nodded. "You heard the boy. Even with the precautions Tweek and Craig are taking right at this moment, if Pearl is killed, I'm afraid her successors and military officers may plunge this world into nuclear war. The gates of Hell will open and the apocalypse will truly begin."

"And with the gates open, Homeworld may find itself in danger, too," Yellow added. "We MUST stop them. Quickly!"

The Diamonds ran to the other side of the building, while the Boys, Wendy, and Connie all joined Steven in following Peridot and Pearl. A few moments later, Randy arrived.

"Stan?" He called out. "Stan, are you in here?"

"You just missed him," Sheila informed him. "He went that way, towards the west wing."

"Aw shit!" Randy cursed, glaring down the hall. "Stan, you're being really fucking difficult!" he called out, before moonwalking towards the west wing.

Pearl ran for her life, the crazed gremlin slowly gaining on her. "Peridot! Peridot, please, let's be reasonable, here!" she desperately called out behind her. "We can talk about this!" She tripped over Paul Ryan's unmoving body, and she slid to a halt, staring at him. "Speaker Ryan?"

He groaned, and tried to pull himself up, to no avail. His injuries were too severe, he'd succumb to his wounds any moment. "The President… the President…" he murmured.

"Yes, Speaker Ryan, I'm right here," Pearl assured him.

"No… the last President… Garrison…"

"He did this to you?" Pearl asked. Her eyes wandered to his hindquarters, which… yup, Mr. Garrison had definitely been here. "Hang in there, Mr. Speaker, you'll make it through this." Pearl stood up and continued running down the hall. Peridot didn't even notice Ryan, she just stepped on him as she continued her pursuit.

"Quit running from your problems, Pearl!" Peridot shouted after her. "Bismuth and Garnet surrendered, why can't you?!"

"Because then I'll die!"

"Well, yeah, NOW! Garnet knew when to quit! She's still alive, isn't she?!"

Pearl ran into the Oval Office, which was still intact, and quickly ran for her desk. She picked up her phone and dialed the Pentagon. "Mattis, I need you to send the Army, the Navy, the Marines, the Air Force, the Space Force, the Maryland National Guard, the Reserves, and about half of the WWE, I'm in a lot of trouble and I need EVERYONE at the White House right now."

"Sorry, Pearl, no can do," he replied.

"Excuse me?! I am the PRESIDENT!"

"I've had a little discussion with the remaining other members of your cabinet," the Secretary of Defense explained. "We've decided to invoke the twenty-fifth amendment. You are unfit to serve the office. Bismuth is the Acting President until Congress can hold a vote."

"What?! You can't do that!"

"Just did. Good luck, Ms. Former President," he said before hanging up. Terrified, Pearl looked up. Peridot was standing in the doorway.

"Nowhere to run," Peridot said, a Kubrick smile creeping across her face. "I've waited too long for this."

"Peridot-"

"Shut up. Don't talk. You've done enough of that," Peridot threatened.

Yelling, she swung the sword down; Pearl dodged, and the sword embedded itself into the desk. Pearl retrieved her spear and tried to stab at Peridot, who was able to get the sword unstuck in time to parry. The two circled the office for a moment, each one looking for an opening, each one's Gem now on the line. Peridot was looking to kill; Pearl just wanted to defend herself.

"Give up, Peridot," Pearl warned. "I'm a far more skilled knight than you are. I've had ten thousand years to practice, you CAN'T beat me. Just put the sword down, and we can talk about this like adults."

"Newsflash, Pearl," Peridot mocked. "I don't intend to survive this battle. Sword skills are all about self-preservation. You CAN'T win against a self-destructive opponent. I'm going to keep throwing myself at you until one of us is dead."

"I'm NOT going to kill you, Peridot," Pearl said, lowering her spear slightly. "I… I messed up. My actions led to Lapis's death, I admit that, but YOUR behavior is-"

Peridot yelled as she smacked Pearl's spear out of her hand. Before Pearl could react, the green Gem raised her sword up and smacked Pearl in the face with the guard, knocking her over. Peridot placed a foot on Pearl's chest and swung the sword down; Pearl moved her head slightly, and Peridot missed. "Hold still!"

"Honestly, Peridot, why would I do that, that would be completely counterproduc-" Pearl's eyes widened as the sword's point was embedded into the floorboard, just inches where her Gem would have been if she hadn't again moved her head. "Okay, wow, you're really serious about this."

"Give me ONE reason why I shouldn't kill you right here!" Peridot demanded.

"Steven would hate you."

"Don't care."

"Would Lapis have wanted this?"

"She's dead."

"Are you sure we can't just go double-cross Bismuth? She's the President, so if you really wanted revenge on the President-"

"PEARL!" Peridot shouted. "You just don't GET IT, do you? You have spent this ENTIRE TIME trying to run from all of your problems. This WAR started because you didn't want to admit to Steven that you did a bad job protecting him! And it CONTINUED because you were too stubborn to apologize to the Canadians for petty bullshit you did months ago!" A tear fell down Peridot's face. "And after Lapis died? You didn't say a word to me. You ran. THAT was the part where you should have realized you screwed up.

"But you didn't. You ramped up the war to try and distract yourself from the horrible things that happened because of YOU. The Gem that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with is GONE, Pearl. She's not coming back. She CAN'T come back."

"I can't bring her back-"

"I never asked you to!" Peridot shouted once more. "I didn't expect you to. I want her back, but I never wanted YOU to BRING her back. All I wanted was for you to face the people you hurt. I wanted you to do the honorable thing, stand up, and say 'I'm sorry'. Not just to me. To Steven, to Amethyst, to the millions of families that were affected by your stupid war. Do you even remember what the war was about, Pearl? It was about Steven. But you made it into a war about you. That's all you're good for, is making everything about you.

"So I'm going to ask you again, Pearl, one more time," Peridot said menacingly as she raised the sword for one final blow. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you."

Pearl desperately looked for reasons. Any reason would do. All she wanted was one reason. Pearl thought, and thought, and thought, her eyes darting around the room… Except, she realized, there are none. She couldn't think of any reasons.

Not a single god damn reason. Her eyes stopped darting. She slowly looked back up at Peridot, who was standing over her, blade in her hand. Pearl sighed sadly and closed her eyes. "I can't," she said. "I can't give you a reason."

"I thought so." Peridot slowly raised the sword above her head.

Steven ran into the room just in time to see. "Peridot!" he shouted.

Pearl's physical form suddenly disappeared, and Steven stopped in horror. Garnet and Amethyst joined him, and gasped.

With the deed finished, Peridot knelt down on the floor. "Everyone told me I couldn't do it…" she muttered. "And you know what?" She raised a hand-Pearl's Gemstone was in her palm, still fully intact. "They were right."