103 Dougie's POV
My heart broke to see Tom look so frantic and down right scared after the whole matching outfits thing. It was just a matching outfit, and it had completely and utterly thrown him, I was actually scared of what was going on in his head. I knew how hard it was to adjust to doing things for yourself again, regaining your life from too long in the shadows. It was horrendous, possibly one of the hardest things a person could do.
At least when I was recovering, I had had Harry to support me, to tell me that everything was okay and reassure me when I wobbled. Tom didn't have that, well, he did, but he didn't believe us. And I didn't blame him in the slightest for it.
In my darkest times, I had pushed Harry away, convinced that he would leave me because I was too much of a burden, but he'd persistently told me I was being ridiculous, that he loved me, and he had continued to be by my side through everything. Tom didn't have that, Tom didn't have any of that. He had us, sure, but the last few years, he had been living in a world where his own wife treated him like dirt, and made him feel utterly useless and good for nothing. Of course he didn't believe our encouragements, and didn't want to slack in anything, especially after something he viewed as a mistake.
Even knowing the reasons behind it, it wasn't any easier to watch. Especially with little Buzz clinging to his fathers shirt for most of the day, refusing to go anywhere without him. The poor kid looked so worried, more worried than any child should ever have to look. Buzz should have been happy, giggling and learning like any other kid his age, instead he was clinging to his dad, desperate for reassurance, probably scared of losing him like he lost his mother. It wouldn't happen, we all knew that Tom would never leave Buzz, but of course he didn't know that, he was a baby.
It took days for either of the Fletcher's to calm enough to slow down, to let go of each other. Buzz still followed Tom around the house, but he wasn't clinging desperately, and Tom had slowed down, from frantic to following routine, which I counted as an improvement.
Sadly though, there were no attempts of any other 'fun' activity. Tom stuck rigidly to his routine, isolating himself as best as he could from us without running too far away, and only doing what he thought would please us. I wanted to reach out and hold him, to tell him that everything was okay, but it was pointless. Tom wouldn't believe me, wouldn't believe any of us. He didn't trust anything anybody said to him. How could he, after everything done with his wife? He couldn't, I just wished he could, wished he could make steps towards coming back to himself, wished I knew how to help him. Even with my experience in similar mental places, I had never gone through this, not alone. I had had a support network, one that I trusted. Tom didn't think he had that, and that was the thing he desperately needed.
"We'll talk to Natasha, at the next appointment, see what she says." Harry sighed, stroking my arm.
"She hasn't exactly been helpful to us recently." I sighed back, pressing into his chest. Natasha had only been useful to Tom, which was great, but she hadn't been much help with us recently. None of us knew had to handle any of this, and all she ever said was 'support Tom,' which wasn't helpful.
"If she isn't, then we'll figure something else out, we always do. It's all a case of figuring out what works." Harry kissed my hair, "I didn't know what to do with you at first, I was guessing most of the time and hoping for the best."
"But I knew that you were there for me, which was what I needed from you. Tom needs that from us and he doesn't know that he has it." he didn't even know that he could talk to us, have a normal conversation, how the hell could he know that we supported him through all of this?
"Then we'll make him believe somehow. Stick by him, reassure him whenever he needs it, hug him constantly. Scream it from the rooftops if it's needed." Harry sounded determined, but then again he always did.
"It may come to that." I doubted anything else would be good enough.
"Then that's what we'll do. Whatever he needs to believe that we're there for him, we'll do. It's all we can do." Harry pulled the covers up further, covering us both properly, "Now come on, go to sleep. There's no point in worrying when there's nothing we can do. Let's just get some sleep and see what happens."
"I don't like that idea." I really didn't like the idea of seeing what happens. I wanted plans of action, contingency ideas, anything else we could think of.
"I know you don't, but there's nothing else we can do, not right now. It's gone 2am in the morning, we need sleep, so lets sleep, and wake up refreshed, so we can think of something."