108 Harry's POV
Danny took it upon himself to entertain Buzz as Tom had his therapy session, running around the courtyard with the toddler, shouting something about a tickle monster. Dougie and I decided to sit at a bench instead, well, I decided, because Dougie didn't seem all too comfortable today. I couldn't put my finger on why, but he was really uncomfortable being here today, hand squeezing mine tightly, like he really couldn't stand the thought of letting go.
"You alright?" I asked, rubbing his arm with my spare hand.
"Yeah, yeah fine," Dougie attempted to lie, before hesitating, "No, not really."
"Thought you weren't, what's up? Has something happened?" I asked, I couldn't think of anything to cause this mood specifically. Nothing out of routine had happened this morning, or last night. It wasn't an anniversary of anything bad happening either, so this didn't really make much sense. Not to me, at least.
"Nothings happened, I'm just... I'm remembering some bad days." Dougie sighed, glancing around, "The corridors, this courtyard, it's all... the memories aren't that nice." I understood immediately.
Natasha worked in the same complex as Dougie's therapist, just a short walk away from the accommodation wing. The place Dougie had stayed for a month when he... when he wasn't well. We hadn't walked through the same building, hadn't even really seen it, but we were in the same place, walking through similar buildings, sitting in the guest courtyard, which was nearly identical to the one for patients, hidden just behind the building on our right. Of course being here would bring back memories, being back here repeatedly must have been awful.
"I, I didn't realise, I'm sorry." I hadn't thought, hadn't even factored this into anything. I should have realised, this building gave me the same unpleasant feeling I had back then, why wouldn't it do the same to Dougie? Especially when he had lived here for a month, and gone through months of therapy here afterwards. Of course coming back so often would cause problems!
"It's alright, it's for a good cause in the end." Dougie sighed, looking up to the building in front of us, the one Tom was currently inside, "It's just memories for me, I did my time, and I'm fine now."
"Still doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel a bit down." I always tried to validate Dougie's feelings, knowing how much he downplayed them, acting like everything was fine, when inside his head, it was a storm of emotion.
"I know. It's just difficult, to remember everything that happened, and to think of what Tom's going through." Dougie looked at me at last, before tucking his head into my neck, "It's... hard. Knowing he's in pain, and remembering how much pain I was in when I was here."
"I understand, but you got better, didn't you? You got better, and moved on, and wonderful things happened to you afterwards." I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, kissing his cheek, "We got our own place, we went on several awesome tours, wrote some awesome music, we got married," I pressed a longer kiss to his temple.
"Went on honeymoon." Dougie smiled, "Warped Tour, all the dates, all across America."
"Most fun I've ever had in a field." I couldn't help but smile too, remembering the mud, camping out for weeks on end, traveling around, following the tour and systematically watching every single band on the line up at least once, if not twice, it had been an amazing few weeks.
"We did all that, and so much more, and you got to fully enjoy it because you got better, because of this place." I traced a hand over his arm, "So maybe, we should think of this place as a stepping point. It helped us get all that, and who knows what else in the future? And so will Tom, because the people here will help him."
Buzz suddenly let out a loud scream, we turned to see Danny picking the child up, holding him upside down, spinning the two of them round in circles as Buzz laughed hysterically. It was adorable, looked exactly like a father and son playing, how things should have been.
"And Tom will get to do that, he'll be able to do all that and more himself, when he gets better, with everyone's help. He'll get his life back, like you got your life back." I promised, imagining Tom running around the garden, the park, a hundred other places, with Buzz, being a father, a proper father. Not a glorified slave, but a father, best friend, hell, maybe even a lover to someone again.
"This place is worth it, even when it sucks." Dougie agreed, smiling at our friend and adoptive nephew.
"That it is. I know I'll never be able to thank them enough for getting you back to me." all those lost years, filled with pain and fear, which I had known nothing about, we could never get them back. But because of the therapists here, we got to have the rest of our lives together, so it was worth the uncomfortable feeling in my mind. They gave me back the love of my life, and I would never be able to repay them for that.
It would all be worth it, uncomfortable and scared feeling aside, this would all be worth it in the end.