109 Dougie's POV
Despite Harry's reassurances, I could not bring myself to relax in this courtyard. I tried, honestly tried, but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable here. I always would, really. After everything that had happened in this facility, how could I not?
But, I had to remind myself that it was a good place. A good place that helped people. This place helped me to get my life back. I wouldn't even be here if I hadn't come here. They'd do the same for Tom, they'd fix him right up and he'd be right as rain. It would take time, because it always took time, but they would fix him, just like they did for me.
"Dada!" Buzz's call snapped me from my thoughts, I looked up to see Tom walking across the yard. Automatically, he picked Buzz up, bringing him close to his chest in a tight hold.
"Hey, ready to go?" Danny smiled, coming over too.
"Erm," Tom glanced at Natasha nervously.
"It's okay, you can tell them." She encouraged him... that didn't sound good.
"I'm going to wait in the car, but Natasha needs to talk to you quickly before we leave." Tom whispered, fidgeting nervously and refusing to look at us. but, he was trying, that was the main point. As long as he kept trying, kept learning, it didn't matter. Break downs and everything else were fine, we could handle that, as long as Tom tried.
"Yeah, alright. We'll be right along soon then." Harry nodded, Tom scurrying off with his son.
"Is something wrong?" Danny asked as soon as Tom was out of ear shot.
"Not at all. But Tom and I discussed his needs and the best course of action in our session, and he wanted me to talk to you about how you can support him in this. obviously, you know how Tom is struggling, you've had a front row seat to it all, and he wants to better. He really wants to get back to who he was before, but he's struggling a lot with anxiety and ingrained responses." Natasha was saying it incredibly sympathetically, which was therapist speech for 'please don't freak out,' I hated that tone.
"Whatever he needs us to do, we'll do, no matter what it is, we'll help in any way we can." Harry promised, we would, we would do anything. Tom was my best friend, I'd do anything. anything at all that could possibly make him comfortable. He'd been so good to me when I was struggling, had been so supportive, I wanted to do the same for him.
"Of course, but Tom struggles to believe that. not because of anything you've done, you've been doing admirably well, considering the situation. It's all to do with Tom's brain, and his learnt responses. His wife has essentially trained him to avoid any leisure activity, to stay away from Buzz, and basically just do whatever she ordered him to do. everything else fell by the wayside, and if he did try to do something he wanted to do, it would have ended badly for him. abusers don't like their victims to be disobedient, and she would have probably punished him somehow." I really didn't like the sound of that.
"Punish how?" Danny whispered, chewing another nail.
"A number of ways, but Tom has repeatedly assured me that it was never violent, which is a positive in the situation. But classic punishment techniques include withholding affection, so ignoring him, making him sleep in another room, or possibly the sofa, she could have shouted at him, belittled his interests, insulted him in general. Things like this are very common, and can really affect the mind, force a person to obey their abuser for an easy life. It can be hard to change that, to learn that somebody else isn't going to do the same thing to you." Natasha explained.
"Really, the only thing you can do is support him, and show him that you're not going to attack him for his actions. It's hard to do, and it will take time, and will end in a lot of panic attacks, but slowly, he will learn that he is safe." She finished, still looking at us sympathetically, like we had a harder job than her in this. we probably did, thinking about it.
"How do we support him?" I asked, wanting to know. Everyone's version of support was different, we had to be sure to look after Tom properly.
"Maybe take over a job he usually does while he's doing a fun activity, or join in with him when he asks for it. to me though, I think the best thing to do is to start small with him, frame leisure activities as being productive. Writing songs is a good one for that, as it can also help him express emotion and thoughts. But, with that, I would say, do not push him into it, or anything else. Let him decide for himself, and let him figure out what he wants. If he can't write, or be creative, then that's not a problem, as he's out of practice. The key is encouragement, but making sure he knows that he's safe."