Denise followed Flynn to the hallway looking over to see him sit heavily onto the bench and slid his head into his hands.
"Flynn." sighed Denise, she walked over and sat next to him, "What are you upset about?" She asked softly.
Flynn snorted, "What do you want me to be upset about?" He asked harshly. "The fact that Lucy lied to me and left things out…... the fact that my family may be out in the world somewhere and I have no clue…. Or the fact that I evidently shot Lucy and she almost died because of me." He closed his eyes, "Tell me what I should start with."
Denise closed her eyes, "I can find about your family." She said softly. "We can start there."
Flynn shook his head, "I understand she wanted to help me, but what was her plan." He looked down at his hands, "Bring them back at the expense of herself and then I have nothing?" He looked over at Denise when she didn't say anything back. "What?" He asked eyes narrowing.
Denise shook her head, "I think you should talk to Lucy first." She said not looking over at him.
Flynn turned to face her, "What Denise …"
She shook her head, "Flynn." She whispered but jumped when Flynn yelled, "NO, tell me." He growled.
Denise sighed, "You were not going to end up with nothing Flynn…... Lucy had a plan." She whispered.
Flynn felt his heart drop, "What Denise…. What?" He whispered.
Denise sighed, "Lucy asked me before she left for England…. To keep you here for two hours." She said refusing to look at him.
Flynn sat back as it all began to process in his mind, and then it hit him like a ton of bricks. "She never intended for me to remember her… did she?" He asked quietly. "She intended for me to get my family back and then forget her completely."
Denise shrugged, "I think that she just wanted to give you the one thing she thought that you wanted…. To make your life the best it could be." She said softly.
Flynn shook his head, "She was going to take the option that I ever even knew her away…. She was going to make it…. so I never remembered her…" He paused as another thought passed his mind, "But she would have remembered all of it…..." He laughed a humorless laugh, "So she would have remembered everything… I would have had nothing."
Denise sighed, "Flynn… you are looking at it like she was trying to hurt you… when all she wanted was to make what she thought was your dreams come true." She said softly.
Flynn gave her a narrowed look, "She took my option way…she was going to erase herself from my life Denise. I would have lost something, and I never would have known how special it was.' He sighed and laid his head back against the wall, "I know she had her heart in this place of doing what she thought I wanted but it feels like she was going to steal something from me." He said softly.
"NO." They turned to see Lucy leaning against her doorway, "Flynn no." She said as the tears started to fall down her face, "I was trying to make things right… you had lost so much… I wanted to give you back something," Lucy said softly.
Flynn, despite the pain and anger he felt towards her in that moment saw her struggling to stand and got up to walk over and to slide an arm around her, "You should be in bed," he said softly, refusing to fight with her when she was so weak. "Come on." He said directing her back into her room. But he stopped when she turned into him and clenched his shirt.
"No Garcia, listen to me… I never wanted to hurt you... I wanted to make it better…... help you get back something that you lost." She said, tears streaming down her face.
Flynn closed his eyes, "Please Lucy, let me put you back to bed… I just need to make sure that you are ok." He took a breath and helped her turn to go back in the room, but she shook her head and turned back to him, "No please listen to me Garcia… I was trying to help you."
Flynn just shook his head, "Lucy... I don't want to talk about this right now …. I just need you to get back in the bed." He said turning her towards the door again but when she paused, he shook his head at her, "Please Lucy, just get in the God Damn bed… just…" He paused and closed his eyes for a moment, "Please…... you want to help me… get in bed."
Lucy looked up at his face and gave a nod, "Ok… fine." She whispered, wiping the tears from her face. "I just…. please listen to what I need to say then you can be mad at me." She whispered as he helped her back into her bed.
Flynn snorted, "I am not mad Lucy… I am livid… and frustrated and hurt and terrified and ashamed." He said pulling her covers up to her chest, refusing to look her in the face.
Lucy's hand shot out to grab his wrist, "Why are you ashamed?" She asked softly.
Flynn looked at her and shook his head, "I shot you Lucy…. It was me that caused you this pain…. me that almost killed you…." He paused shook his head as the anger boiled up again, "Fucking hell Lucy you almost died because of me and I don't even remember it happening…. but more then that you could have died and if you had your way…." He paused and closed his eyes again, breath coming out harshly, "I would have killed you and then never remembered because I would not have been in this timeline and completely fucking forgotten you." He finished in a gasping whisper.
Lucy shook her head at him, "It was an accident, I never should have been hurt… you were protecting your family from the men and I got in the middle." She said softly.
Flynn shook his head at her, "And that makes it better…. The fact that you went into my past and you were going to make it so I never even knew who you were… you were going to take away the best thing that has happened to me."
Lucy shook her head back, "I was going to give you the best thing that ever happened back to you."
Flynn narrowed his eyes at her, "How do you know what they best thing for me is Lucy…. Did you ask me? Did you come over to me and see what I wanted…... or did you take it upon yourself to make that decision for me…... and then almost die in the process at my hand?" Flynn said his accent thick in his rage.
Lucy let go of his head and took a breath, "I thought I was doing the right thing…. I thought I was going to give you what you loved back… to help you with what you lost." She said softly.
Flynn shook his head at her, "Yes…. at the expense of losing something else I loved." He said softly. He turned as Denise walked back in the room, "Can you stay with her tonight? I don't want her alone…...but I need …. time." He said not looking down at Lucy.
Denise nodded at him and he looked past Lucy's shoulder, "I am going to go home and shower and change and get some sleep… I will be back in the morning." He said softly. He looked down at his watch, "I guess I mean in a few hours since it's so late already."
"Garcia, please." Lucy whispered holding her hand out, but Flynn shook his head.
"I just need…... sometime… to process this… to" He stopped and rubbed a hand down his face. "I will be back in the morning." He said turning and walking towards the door. He stopped next to Denise, "Please make sure she doesn't leave that bed and if anything happens, call me right away." He asked looking down at her.
When she nodded at him, he gave her a brief small smile, "Thank you…...I will be back first thing in the morning." He said before walking out.
Denise turned to look at Lucy, who was crying into her hands. "Ok Lucy… you and I are going to have a talk."
/-/-/-/-/-
Flynn walked in Lucy's room at 6 am the next morning to see Denise and Jiya watching over a sleeping Lucy.
"Hay." He whispered looking over at Lucy, "How is she?" He asked quietly.
Denise raised an eyebrow at him, "Well the one person she needed and wanted left in anger... fulfilling all of her per-beliefs in her head... so not to great." She said. She took a moment to look at his face, "Honestly… you don't look much better."
Flynn looked at her with a question in his eyes, "What?" He asked softly.
Denise stood and walked over to the door, "Let's go for a walk and I will talk to you about what Lucy told me last night... it will help you understand why she did what she did ... even if you don't agree..." She paused and cut him off when he went to talk, "because I don't agree, but I understand a little bit better." She turned back to look at Jiya, "Stay with her... we will be back in a bit, she didn't go to sleep until about 3 this morning so she should sleep."
Denise turned to see Flynn rub a hand down his face, "Fuck... she didn't sleep?" He whispered, looking over at Lucy and seeing the bags under her eyes, "I just needed a mental break... a minute to think and let the anger go."
Denise nodded and pointed to the door, "Come on... we need to talk for minute."
Flynn paused looking over at Lucy wanting to stay after being gone the last few hours... he realized after he left that being away from her left a physical ache and worry.
"She will be fine... and we are just going into the hall... you can watch the door." Denise said holding open the door waiting for him to follow.
Flynn followed her and watched as Denise sat in the same bench that he had sat at only a few hours before. "So, I had a talk with Lucy." She said looking over at him carefully, "I think you need to hear what I am going to tell you and really listen... because once she talks to you and tells you everything else that happened..." she paused and took a few breath... "let's just say it will get worse before it gets better."
Flynn closed his eyes for a moment, "Can you tell me?" He asked softly walking over to sit down next to her.
Denise shook her head, "No... honestly I am not even sure she told me all of it." She sighed again, "Flynn ... what Lucy did... she thought she was doing the right thing." She said softly.
Flynn felt the anger had had manage to push down, seep back up, "She thought erasing herself from my life was the right fucking choice... just like she thought running off was the right choice... not talking to me was the right choice... leaving me to worry and have no control... no fucking choice... that was her right choice." He seethed out able to be angry now without it doing more damage to Lucy. "Forgive me if I am a little angry that at every God Damn turn, she makes decisions for everyone around her without asking us... asking me first."
Denise nodded at him, "You are not wrong. She is doing things, changing things and almost playing God with all of us….." She paused and looked over at him. "Did you know that she made sure to erase me and my entire family in secrete from the Rittenhouse mainframe? The same with Rufus and Jiya and their family." She looked over at Flynn who was staring back at her in shock. "She also transferred most of the data, information and the sneaky little shit transferred millions of dollars over to Mason. She said its not the same as having his company, but it will help him restart."
Flynn narrowed his eyes at her, "What is your point?"
Denise sighed, "That while she was there... she played God with all of us…she did what she thought was right…. She tried to protect us and give back what Rittenhouse took from us." She looked over at Flynn, "And while we may not agree with most of it and we may be mad at her for some of it…. She was trying to put right, what she feels is partly her family's fault."
Flynn snorted at her in disbelief, "And that makes her erasing herself from my life ok?"
Denise shook her head at him, "No…... it makes it worse." She said softly.
Flynn raised an eyebrow, "Why?"
Denise shrugged, "Well…...Because to me, she was making it right for every single one of us…. Helping every single one of us at the expense of herself…... think about it Flynn." She said softly., "IF her plan succeeded… you would have never known…. You would have had your family, you would have been happy with Lorena and your daughter. You would have never felt the pain of their loss and you would never have missed Lucy…. But what would she have?" Denise finished softly.
"You are right." Flynn sighed, "That makes it worse." He said.
Denise nodded, "I agree but there are a few other things that you do not know about." She said sighing deeply.
Flynn narrowed his eyes at her, "Do I even want to know?"
Denise snorted, "Yes and no… I have a feeling that you are going to want to kill a few people when I am done, and Lucy might be one of them." She said.
Flynn nodded, "Aright…... but first… where you able to get news on what happened to my family?" He asked softly, finally braving the news he was so afraid of.
Denise nodded, "I go the file early this morning, Lucy doesn't even know yet… Flynn, I am so sorry." She whispered.
She watched as Flynn closed his eyes, "They didn't make it anyway... did they?" he whispered.
Denise shook her head, eyes drifting down her face, "About two days after Lucy saved your family… and that is what she did, she saved them. I read the report… she went and when they refused to leave, she shot at a down stairs window, setting off your alarm. You came down and shot both men, but your daughter … she followed you down the stairs and when of the men was aiming at your daughter…... Lucy shot him. She saved her life. That's when you shot Lucy, not knowing she was aiming for the man. In the report you gave the police you said that woman saved my daughter's life."
Flynn closed his eyes and sighed, "What happened?"
Denise took a breath, "You had been put in jail for shooting the two men and waiting for your hearing that it was self-defense. While you were there, your wife and daughter were run off the road. They were both killed instantly." She said softly, reaching out to lay a hand on top of his.
Flynn felt his heart shatter all over again, not only did it feel like he lost his family all over again, but Lucy had been hurt by his hand in the process. "So, no matter what I would have ended up here." He whispered.
Denise reached over with her other hand to cover both of his hands, "No matter what you know that Lucy loves you enough to try and make your world better… you know that no matter what, Lucy loves you enough to give you everything she thinks you want, at the expense of herself." Denise shook her head, "Lucy … God bless her crazy mind, thinks that in your heart of hearts you want your family over everything else… she thinks that you would be happier with them."
Flynn shook his head, "I have told her… I told her how much I love her… I don't know how else to tell her." He said shaking his head. "Why can't she understand how much that I love her?"
Denise shrugged, "Her heart is telling her that, but her head is telling her to look at the people in her past…. When it came down to making a choice… she was never their choice." Denise said. "You both lost people that you love…. You… your family, Lucy her dad and her sister…. But she also had people who told her she wasn't enough…. Put her second…. she feels like she is not enough, that she is not worth it, I think."
Flynn laid his head back against the wall, "Her mother…. Wyatt," He said carefully, "Even now they are doing damage." He rubbed his hand down his face. "So, she thinks that in the end I would choose Lorena and Iris over her anyway. So, she truly thinks that she was doing the right thing."
Denise nodded, "Plus…" She paused, and Flynn looked at her carefully, "What?" He whispered.
Denise closed her eyes, "Flynn what did you tell Lucy about family and your future? Before you got together." She asked carefully.
Flynn shook his head, "I don't know… which time." He laughed without humor, "How long ago…... I was pretty bitter before."
Denise gave a small nod, "That you could never be a husband or father again, not after what you had done."
Flynn shook his head for a moment then paused, "Yes, I remember it was a while ago…Lucy asked me if I would go back to Lorena and Iris… I told her that after the things that I have done…. I was not the same person… I was tainted, and I didn't want to bring that to them…. That I would never again be a father."
Denise sighed, "Well I am pretty sure that is what started some of this shit…Flynn…. That conversation is what made Lucy decided to do what she did."
Flynn narrowed his eyes at her, "How?" He asked.
Denise sighed and rubbed her eyes, "You know that the plan was for Lucy to stay in a few more weeks right…... she had made a plan and it was only changed when she got a small piece of information. Two days before she called me, she was at board meeting when she got violently ill… someone had had poisoned her water. She was in full shock and having seizures when Noah was able to get her medicine to empty her stomach, then he took her upstairs and treated her until she woke up the next day."
Flynn closed his eyes, "So she almost died again, and I had no clue and no way to help her." He took a deep breath, "Fuck…."
Denise snorted, "According to Lucy that was the latest attempt, there had been a few others… but this one hit close to home and she also got news that changed everything when Noah was treating her this time."
Flynn looked at her, "What?" he asked with narrowed eyes.
"She found out that she was pregnant." Denise said softly.
Flynn eyes flared, and his breath came out in a rush. "What?" he whispered.
Denise gave a small smile, "Congratulations." She said softly.
Flynn closed his eyes and his breath came out in harsh gasps as everything came to an abrupt understanding.
Denise waited, letting him process everything and after a few minutes he looked over at her, "She knew she was pregnant when she went back to change history?" He asked already knowing the answer. Then he closed his eyes, "She thought I wouldn't want to be part of it after what I said …. And she didn't want me to have to choose to stay away or to be a part of something she thought that I wouldn't want." He pushed the palms of his hands into his eyes, "Of all the fucking things she listens to…... she chooses this." He whispered.
Denise sat back looking forward, down the hall. "She thought that if she sent you back, you would have that feeling of happiness, that all of the stress and self-hate would be gone…. That you would have your family and you would be whole again." She whispered to him.
"Yes, and I would have no loss and no pain because I would have forgotten everything since then…" he said. "What she doesn't realize is that you can miss something that you never knew you were supposed to have… and she is my person…." Another thought came to his head and replaced the frustration and disbelief and pain… panic… it came in rolling waves, "Denise, is the baby….is it ok?" He said his voice cracking, not knowing how he would survive if he lost another child without meeting it…if she lost it because of him.
Denise gave him a small smile, "She and the baby are both fine and recovering from everything."
Flynn nodded and took a breath, his emotions were killing him, up then down… to angry from sad… to excited to frustrated back to happy and relief. And after he left last night, he didn't get any sleep… he had showered, ate some soup and thought about everything until he couldn't stand to be away any more. So, he had dressed and drove back over to be near Lucy, because no matter what feelings he had… being near her, seeing her made his heart lose the ache it had the last 6 weeks.
"I am fucking tiered." He whispered.
Denise nodded, "Me too… how about you go in and be with Lucy…I remember her telling you if you showered, she would let you lay with her." Denise stood up and looked down at Flynn, "I will go home and get some sleep and I will come back and pick you both up when the doctor releases her this afternoon."
Flynn looked up at Denise, "I am so frustrated and angry and upset… yet so grateful that she is ok and I understand why she thought what she thought and I understand she thought she was doing what she thought she was best…. But god, I am still so angry and hurt and…..." He trailed off trying to figure out exactly what he was feeling.
Denise took a breath, "Right now in this moment… what is the most significant emotion you are feeling?" She asked him softly.
Flynn looked up at Denise, "Fear." He said softly, "Fear that I almost lost her…fear that I could still lose her… fear that deep down she didn't really want to be with me, which is why she tried to change the past." He finished, "Fear that she realized that I am not worthy of her."
Denise snorted down at him, "You are both a pair of idiots." She said breaking out into an exhausted laugh.
Flynn looked up at her with a raised eyebrow, "What?"
Denise held out a hand, "Because she is running on fear… fear that you will never forgive her, fear that you will be disappointed that your family is not back, because you want them more then you want her…fear that you will blame her for not doing more to save them….. fear that you will be forced to help with a baby that you told her that you didn't want…. fear that she will be a bad mom…just fear…." She grabbed his hand and pulled him up. "So why don't you do what I told you and go in there because what you both need is to talk… after you both sleep… but more importantly you need to be with each other…Flynn she didn't do well those six weeks…..she is not like you or Wyatt or even me… she struggled with being alone, with everything that happened" She lead him down the hall to open the door to see Lucy still sleeping in the bed, "She needs you…. To be here… to kiss her… to love her…. just be here." She looked up at him, "And I think you need that too… you need to just…be here…with her."
Flynn nodded softly and looked over at Jiya who walked over to them, "Hey." she said softly. "Why don't you sit with her and I will watch the door from the hall?" She said reaching up and giving Flynn a quick hug. "Give her a break…... she is punishing herself right now enough for all of us." She pulled back and looked him in the eye, "And I told her that we were going to beat her later when she feels better for this shit." She said with a grin.
It had the effect she wanted when he gave her a small smile, "I will hold, and you beat." He sighed, "We are going to have wait until the baby is born to beat her to hard." He looked down when Jiya gasped, "Yep…we are going to have baby." He said softly.
Jiya grinned…then frowned.
Flynn nodded and grimaced, "Yep… you just figured that she knew when she went century hopping."
Jiya pulled back and scowled, "I am going to kick her asssss." She hissed, "I will watch for you outside." She said shaking her head as she walked out the door. Denise laughed as she followed her out the door.
Flynn stood in the door way for a moment, realizing that his world was laying in the bed in front of him and at any moment he could lose everything all over again. The thought and vision terrified him and the need to touch her was overwhelming.
He walked over to sit on the side of the bed carefully…. He ran his fingertips down the side of her sleeping face… craving the physical touch.
He watched as her eyes fluttered open. "Flynn… Garcia..." she whispered.
"Yes." He said simply, running his fingers through her hair.
She opened her eyes wider, "I need to tell you…." She started, tears filling her eyes.
"Shhhhhh." He whispered, gently putting his fingers over her lips, "I am going to ask you a few questions and I just want you to answer me…. ok?"
She nodded up at him softly, so he gave her a brief soft smile.
He brushed his fingers through her hair again, "Did you go back to change the past because you didn't want to be with me?" he asked her carefully.
Her eyes flared wide and she shook her head no quickly, making him smile down at her.
"Do you want this baby?" He asked, his hand gliding down to lay on her flat stomach. He watched her eyes widen even more and then she gave him a soft nod.
"Do you want me to be part of this baby's life?" He asked, one of his biggest insecurities coming to light, because he thought he wasn't worthy, and he was afraid she thought the same.
She gave a small smile and grabbed his hand to hold it over her stomach and gave a nod.
"Do you love me?" He asked softly. Her eyes overflowed with tears as she whispered yes.
"OK last question." He said softly and waited for the fear in her eyes to leave before he whispered, "Do I smell good enough to lay with you now?"
Lucy's narrowed her eyes and then she gave a soft laugh as she sat up to sniff his shirt, "Yes much better." She whispered, "Come here." She moved over to make room for him in the bed.
Flynn toed off his shoes and climbed into the bed and under the covers, "I love you so much." He whispered as he gathered her close, "We can talk about the rest later… right now I just want to hold you and our baby and know that you are both safe."
She clenched on his shirt and buried her face into his chest, "I love you so much." She said so softly he barely heard her, "More then anyone or anything else in this world… in any time …in any place."
"I love you too." He said into her head…... and they both finally drifted off to sleep without fear or pain…...