Disclaimer – Check previous chapters; I'm sure I've already disclaimed Tales of Vesperia many times already...
Inspiration – various bits and bobs... so I'll leave it unspecified
Teaser – Game AU: after Duke rescued Yuri at Zaude, Duke went to Zaphias in order to treat Yuri in secret, intending to keep Yuri safe from the Knights after having witnessed Sodia's attack from afar. But Yuri, trapped in a delirious haze from infection and fever, keeps asking for Flynn...
A/N - Um... wow, it's been a while since I've posted anything. It's been a busy year. I haven't stopped writing, but I've got a lot of unfinished works floating around on my hard drive. So I'm planning on basically going doc file by doc file and seeing which ones I can actually finish and which ones I don't remember why I started them. With any luck there will be a few more posts over the next few days. :) Also, some of you may have noticed this is being cross-posted on Ao3 now; if you haven't noticed and prefer that site, then go take a look.
Enduring
The sky was beautiful that day.
It was an odd thought to have. Not because the sky wasn't beautiful; it was gorgeous. It was that perfect shade of blue that almost matched Flynn's eyes and a fluffy little cloud was blocking out the sun just right so that it didn't burn in Yuri's eyes as he gazed upward.
The water below reflected the light and seemed almost to dance. Not that Yuri was paying attention to that now, though he'd noticed earlier and wished Flynn was there to see it with him.
It felt like a perfect day.
Something nagged at the back of Yuri's mind. Something important.
Why was there purple in the sky?
There was something Yuri wanted to tell Flynn.
From the moment he woke up that morning, wrapped in Flynn's arms – and wasn't that the most strange and wonderful way to wake up? - he'd wanted to open his mouth and say the words. The words seemed to burn inside of him as Flynn kissed him good morning, as they took their time brushing their teeth, as they dressed, as they walked through the castle... and even now, as they stood on the steps together.
But Yuri couldn't bear to say them yet. They'd already taken such a big step, just before what was shaping up to be an even bigger battle than what happened with the Heracles or the retaking of Zaphias. Yuri wasn't usually superstitious, but he felt as though they were already pushing their luck. What if saying those words aloud jinxed them? If one of them died in that place...
"It looks like things here won't be settled for a while," Flynn told Yuri. "I had hopes that we'd have the Guild ships at our disposal."
"I heard they've been having some issues." With the leadership of Altosk so uncertain, other guilds were trying to supplant Altosk in the Union's pecking order. It was rather irritating to learn that the Union was every bit as inefficient as the Empire, albeit in different ways. Don Whitehorse had been a great man, but he really should have delegated more responsibilities; Altosk, as well as the Union, wouldn't be floundering half so much if there had been some second-in-command poised to take over. "Losing the Don hit them all pretty hard. It was easy to see why they all respected him so much, but I don't think he'd be all that pleased with how they're handling his death."
"There are a few guilds that are willing to cooperate; I think they realize that if Alexei were to take over the Empire, he'd be able to decimate the Union, but it'll still take some time before I can get my Knights to Zaude." Flynn laughed softly. "Looks like I'll be one step behind you this time."
"No hard feelings, no matter which one of us gets to Alexei first, right?" Yuri asked, though what he meant was 'Alexei isn't the sort who surrenders; if I get there first and he dies, will you hate me?' He kept his tone nonchalant, but he got the feeling Flynn could see right through him.
"The Council is trying to spin things so that the public will think that the castle was retaken through my efforts alone. It's not just this, either. The events with the Heracles... they know what really happened, they have my reports."
"But, naturally, they don't want people to know they're indebted to a guild?" Yuri laughed. "I sort of figured that would happen, Flynn. You know I don't like that kind of attention."
"Is that really what you want?"
"Well... yes, but..." Yuri sighed and shook his head. "Let's talk about this after Zaude. There's a lot of things we need to talk about and we don't really have the time for any of it right now, do we?"
"Take care, Yuri."
Flynn?
"Yuri, you need to relax."
Flynn?!
"If you continue to struggle, you'll only aggravate your wound."
Flynn?!
"I'm sorry. I don't know who this Flynn is. You must relax!"
FLYNN!
"So, what is an Adephagos, anyway?"
Yuri blinked at Flynn for a moment, almost certain that someone else had been standing there in the split second between him turning around and Flynn speaking.
But that was ridiculous.
"I thought you were injured," Yuri responded, walking away from the edge of the ledge to where Flynn was standing, by the fallen, super-sized apatheia that had squashed Alexei.
"I was, but a couple 'First Aids' later and I'm as good as new. Really, Yuri," Flynn's voice was edged with fondness, "you worry too much sometimes."
"If I'd taken that hit, you'd have been just as worried," Yuri shot back with a laugh. Usually he was the one telling Flynn off for worrying and stressing himself beyond what was healthy, so Yuri supposed it was only fair Flynn got to tease back a little.
Still... there was something odd about the whole thing. Shouldn't there be a hole in Flynn's armor? Or at least scorch marks... and that person he thought he'd seen. Who had that been?
"Probably," Flynn agreed ruefully, running a hand through his hair and further ruffling his already messy looking blond locks, successfully distracting Yuri in the process. "So, the Adephagos? I'm assuming it's that thing," he pointed up at the purple and black and... oozing tentacle that stretched across the sky. "But what is it?"
"It's the monster that nearly destroyed the ancient Garrios civilization," Yuri responded absently, looking back up at the monster. "Humans, Krityan, and Entelexeia worked together to beat it, but all they could manage was to wrap the world in a protective barrier..." he trailed off, his gaze fixed on the sky as an overwhelming sense of... flying? Falling? Whatever the feeling was, Yuri was lost in it until Flynn grabbed his hand.
"We can beat this," Flynn told him confidently. "We'll do it together, like always."
Yuri let Flynn guide him away from the edge and towards a hidden path that lead down into Zaude. But Yuri glanced back as they walked and he wondered... hadn't he walked away from that edge once already? When did he move back?
At least it was a beautiful day.
Flynn?
"I still don't know who that is."
Flynn... Flynn Scifo...
"The... new Commandant? Is he the one who injured you?"
Is he alright?
"I was... unaware he was wounded."
Is Flynn alright?!
"I'm sure he's already been healed."
Flynn's okay...
"I have no doubt. You, however, have an infection and a fever. You must stop struggling against the pain."
Flynn's... okay...
"Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yuri, I'm fine. Really." Flynn pressed a kiss against Yuri's mouth, sliding his arms around Yuri's shoulders and reducing the space between them at the same time.
They were in Flynn's quarters on one of the Imperial ships. Yuri wasn't quite sure how they got there. The last clear memory he had was of Zaude... but Flynn's mouth was very distracting.
It wasn't really important to know how they got to the ship anyway.
Then Flynn backed off a bit and pulled his shirt off – hadn't he been wearing armor? - and placed Yuri's hand over a small, circular scar on his chest. "See, all healed up."
Yuri felt himself flush slightly as his eyes roved over Flynn's half-naked body. He really didn't deserve to be the one Flynn felt this way about. But.. Flynn thought he deserved to be loved this way. That was enough reason for Yuri to set his insecurities aside. If Flynn thought him good enough then... maybe he really was good enough after all.
Letting his fingers trail further down Flynn's chest, Yuri grinned at the sight of blue eyes dilating with want.
"You'll stay with me, won't you Yuri?"
A dull ache settled in Yuri's gut, and he winced even as he tilted his head to the side. "You mean when I'm not on guild jobs?"
"I mean right now. You won't go somewhere I can't follow, right?"
The ache turned into searing pain and he felt too hot.
Someone was screaming.
"Yuri! Yuri, please, breathe slowly. You've got to do that for me."
Flynn?
"Yes, Yuri, it's me."
Hurt...
"I know it hurts, but you can't fight this pain, Yuri. That'll only make it worse..."
"Commandant, Yuri has not been particularly lucid the last couple of times he regained consciousness. While I am certain he is aware of your presence, he is likely unaware of what you're actually saying."
You're hurt...
"What?"
"The last time he woke, he seemed quite convinced you'd been injured."
"When I last saw Co... Alexei, he tried to kill Yuri with some sort of laser weapon. I pushed him out of the way and took the hit myself. My armor blunted the worst of the beam, but I was injured... he must be remembering that."
Flynn?
"I'm fine, Yuri. The laser numbed my arm and burned me, but I've already recovered."
Oh god... hurts...
"Yuri! Just concentrate on my voice, Yuri. Just... concentrate on me..."
"I can give him more of the pain killers now, but... my supply is limited."
Flynn!
"Let me worry about finding more if you run out."
Flynn...
"Do you remember that purple shirt you used to wear when we were kids?"
"Well, that came out of nowhere," Yuri drawled, snuggling into Flynn's warmth. It was certainly an odd topic, given that neither of them were wearing any clothes at the moment.
"I just... always thought that color looked good on you." Flynn pressed a kiss against Yuri's forehead. "I remember the other kids laughed and said purple was a girly color."
"Which was stupid. If it were lavender, then they'd have had a point, but it was really dark. I loved that color the moment you showed it to me." Yuri grinned at the memory of little Flynn holding out the shirt and saying that he thought Yuri might like it. They'd only known each other for a few days at that point and Finath had taken them shopping so that Yuri could get new clothes to replace the rags he'd worn out on the streets.
Flynn had looked so shy that day and Yuri had hoped to see Flynn smile. Flynn had the nicest smile Yuri had ever seen... which was as true now as it was then.
"I think I'd do just about anything to see that smile," Yuri mumbled sleepily.
"I'm glad you like it so much." Flynn began to card his fingers through Yuri's hair. "I'm also really glad you stayed."
"Huh?" Already, Yuri was nodding off again.
"Don't go where I can't follow."
"Promise..."
"I'm going to hold you to that, you know."
"I doubt he'll appreciate that when he is well again."
"Yeah, well, he'll get over it. Thank you."
"What for?"
"Everything you're doing for Yuri."
"..."
Flynn stopped Yuri on the way to the guest room he'd been assigned. "Oh, good, you're still awake. I... was worried you'd already gone to sleep."
"Tomorrow's a big day," Yuri replied. "I wanted to check on everyone else first."
"How are they doing?"
Yuri grinned and related how Rita was fixing Estelle's problems, Karol was fixing the Lower Quarter's problems (under Repede's watchful eye), Judy was fixing their transportation problems... and Raven was self-castigating in the otherwise empty cell-block in the dungeon.
"He's also Captain Schwann." Flynn sounded rather displeased about Raven's dual life. Yuri understood the sentiment, but...
"Yeah. He's... been pretty screwed up by Alexei. He makes it hard to see through his idiot routine, but its obvious he's pretty depressed under it all. I... I'm kind of worried that part of him really wanted to die. He's got a lot to live for and he's starting to see that now but, for his sake, it'd be best to just let 'Captain Schwann' be dead and let Raven live his life as he wants." Yuri didn't know if that was even an option at the moment, though he sincerely hoped it was. Raven deserved to have a little peace.
"Lady Estellise conveyed the same sentiment earlier. She said he's suffered enough." Flynn paused and then added, "I agree with you two. Whatever crimes he may have committed in Alexei's service, there's no evidence of them and, as long as there's no evidence, there's no reason to cause him further trouble. Besides, Lady Estellise also said that everyone in the guild had already punished him, including her."
"She slapped him," Yuri confirmed with a grin.
"I wish I could have seen that," Flynn said with a laugh, grinning even more brightly when Yuri seconded the sentiment.
"So, what did you want to see me for?" Yuri asked as their laughter tapered off.
Flynn's face grew flushed and he glanced away nervously. "Would you come back to my room with me? There's... there's something I want to tell you, but not out here. It's private and I'd rather not say it where someone else might overhear."
Yuri nodded in curiosity. "Of course."
"Yuri? I think he's waking up."
"His infection has begun to clear. He might be more lucid this time."
"Flynn...?" Yuri blinked and tried to focus. He could hear Flynn there and... Duke?
"Hey, Yuri." There was a blond blur leaning over him. "How do you feel?"
"Hurts..." Yuri murmured. There was a painful ache in his gut, though it felt muted somehow... as if it ought to be much worse.
"I know..." Fingers brushed lightly against the side of Yuri's face. "Do you remember what happened?"
"It should have been a beautiful day," Yuri muttered, closing his eyes as the world faded away again. "Glad you're here."
The sky was beautiful.
"Have you ever wondered what would have happened that day if you hadn't seen me?"
"What day?" Yuri asked, turning to face Flynn. For a moment, he thought he saw someone else standing in Flynn's place. But it was just Flynn, so Yuri turned back, gazing up at the sky. Zaude was an oddly peaceful place, now that Alexei had been squashed.
"The day we met," Flynn replied, walking up to stand by Yuri and sliding his hand against Yuri's in order to clasp them together. "Have you ever thought about what might have happened if you hadn't seen me?"
"We'd have met eventually," Yuri said, shrugging. "We lived in the same part of the Lower Quarter. We were bound to meet sometime. What matters is that we did."
"I guess that's what I'm really asking. What would have happened if we hadn't met at all?"
"I'd be in jail and you'd have a stick up your ass," Yuri responded with a teasing smirk.
Flynn huffed and lightly bumped Yuri's shoulder with his own. "I'd be dead. You saved my life a few times, Yuri."
"Most of the worst trouble you got into as a kid was because of me, though." Yuri looked away, thoughtfully. "So your life would have unfolded differently. Maybe the only reason you needed any saving was because I was there in the first place. Maybe... you'd have been better off without me."
Without any hesitation, Flynn reached over and flicked Yuri between the eyes. "You're an idiot, Yuri. Our lives are more interesting together. But this injury of yours has made me wonder what life would be like without you and... it scares me. A life without you in it would be like a life without color or..."
"You're getting ridiculous," Yuri interrupted, blushing and ducking his head. "I can't imagine life without you. I guess I always figured I'd die first and you'd mourn, but move on without me. You've always been the stronger of the two of us. Besides, I've only got a few scrapes and bruises. You were injured worse than I was."
"I'm not as strong as you think I am... or maybe it's just that all that strength you think is mine is really something I only have because I'm with you."
Not sure how to respond, Yuri changed the subject. "I wanted to tell you something the morning I left for this place. Something important. Was that this morning? It seems so far away..."
"Don't think to hard on that right now, Yuri," Flynn interrupted. "You're not ready to go back yet. Just let me take care of you for a little while longer, okay?" He squeezed Yuri's hand in askance.
So Yuri nodded and squeezed Flynn's hand in return.
They were in Flynn's room back at the castle. Yuri blinked and looked around uncertainly. Hadn't they just been somewhere else? Somewhere outside?
No... no, they'd just come in from the hallway, after Flynn had found him on the way to the guestroom. Why had he thought...?
"Yuri..." Flynn shut the door, his face heating.
"What is it?" Yuri wandered over to the bed and sat down. When Flynn didn't say anything, Yuri sighed. "You said you wanted to tell me something, so... what is it?"
"I... this isn't easy to say... I... that is... um..." Flynn's face was so flushed that even the tips of his ears were tinted pink.
Yuri grinned, enjoying the view. Then he let his grin drop away for a more serious expression. "If you're worried about what I'm going to do after Zaude, you don't have to worry about me running off to be a fugitive or hurting any of your Knights trying to escape. I'll turn myself over to you without a fuss."
"You... what?" Flynn shook his head. "That's not what I want to talk about, but... well, Master Ioder has issued a provisional pardon for you. You can either join the Knights or help put an end to Alexei's insurrection. It's pretty obvious, though, what path you'd prefer."
"Just like that, I'm clear for killing Ragou and causing Cumore's death? It shouldn't be that easy..." Yuri looked away, uncomfortable.
"For services rendered to the Empire... helping stop the Heracles, rescuing Lady Estellise, and aiding in Alexei's defeat at Zaude? None of that's been easy and I don't doubt the part that hasn't even been done yet will be even more difficult." Flynn walked over and slumped down next to Yuri. He stared morosely at his armor hanging in the corner for a long moment. "Fuck. I can't believe I'm the Acting Commandant. How did this happen?"
"Isn't that what we always wanted? For one of us to rise high enough in the Knights that we could affect real change? Also... wow. I don't think I've heard you say something as strong as 'fuck' since before we joined the Knights." Yuri bumped shoulders with Flynn. "I guess it's all pretty overwhelming, huh?"
"Yeah. Very overwhelming." Flynn bumped Yuri's shoulder back. "This is what we wanted, but not so soon and under these circumstances. I barely have any experience as a Captain. I don't know how I'll handle being Commandant instead."
"I have faith in you, Flynn. You thrive under pressure... we both do."
Nodding, Flynn leaned against Yuri for a long moment. "That's not what I wanted to talk to you about either."
"Then what do you want to talk about?" Yuri asked, giving Flynn a rather concerned look. "You're starting to worry me a little here."
"Yuri, I..." Flynn pulled away and, for a moment, they just sat there staring at each other. Yuri waited quietly for Flynn to put together the words he wanted to say while Flynn... seemed almost entranced. "Oh, screw it," Flynn mumbled, bridging the gap between them with a kiss.
While Yuri's brain was insistently telling him all the reasons this was a terrible, bad, horrible idea, his arms seemed to think differently, as they wrapped around Flynn's waist. His mouth seemed to agree with his arms, since he was kissing back as enthusiastically as possible.
It was the need for air that finally drew them apart.
"This is a terrible idea," Yuri muttered.
"If you don't want..." Flynn started to say, his voice breathless and depressed as he started to pull away.
"Oh, I want," Yuri assured Flynn, kissing him lightly. "I'm just saying," he interrupted himself by planting another kiss, "that this could be very bad," he sucked lightly on Flynn's lower lip, "for your career." He pulled back. "Dating a murderer, even a pardoned one, won't win you any friends on the council. Especially with me being a guildsman now."
"We'll find a way to make things work. I don't know..." Flynn sighed and tightened his hold on Yuri's shirt. "Stupid time for me to decide to be selfish, isn't it?"
"Maybe," Yuri shrugged. "Or..." a thought he wasn't sure he liked occurred to him.
"Or, what?"
"Something for me to think on, okay?" Yuri lay back on the bed, pulling Flynn on top of him. "Let's get back to the kissing. I was enjoying that."
"Me too."
"Flynn?"
"He's sleeping in the room next door. Your friend has rather exhausted himself between his duties and fretting over your condition." Duke paused, uncertainly. "How do you feel?"
"I ache all over," Yuri rasped. "Thirsty."
Duke brought over a cup. "You can have a few of these. Carefully."
Yuri groaned as the ache spiked into real pain for a moment before tapering off as he lay back down, ice chips in his mouth. Once they were melted and swallowed, Yuri asked, "how long since Zaude?"
"Not quite a week. You've spent the last several days drifting in and out of consciousness, though I doubt you remember much of it."
"I remember Flynn was worried."
"You are quite... dear to him."
Yuri smiled and let his eyes drift closed. Flynn was pretty dear to him too, after all. "I remember falling from Zaude..."
"Yes. There was a Knight up there with you, a Lieutenant Sodia. She stabbed you, causing you to go into shock and fall from the platform."
"I remember that," Yuri murmured sleepily. "I didn't think she hated me that much..."
They were sitting together just outside of Zaphias. There was this little hill that they would always go to as children, looking up at the sky and making up stories about the stars they saw there.
"You're going to be okay, Yuri." Flynn ran his fingers through Yuri's hair.
Yuri let out a soft laugh and lay back, tugging Flynn down with him. "I have you with me. How could I be anything but okay?"
"And you call me a sap," Flynn teased, snuggling against Yuri's shoulder. "Are you really going to do it?"
"I... I hate attention, you know that."
"That's why I'm asking." Flynn kissed Yuri's cheek. "If you don't want to, we can always find another way."
"No. This isn't just about you, Flynn. It's about the Empire and the Guilds and... building trust between the two. The Empire needs a hero and... so do the Guilds. If those two heroes are capable of cooperating with one another..."
"We do a lot more than cooperating," Flynn said, planting another kiss on Yuri's collar. "Do you think they'll accept that too?"
"I think that it's the best we can do," Yuri wrapped his arms around Flynn's waist. "We won't get to see each other near enough as it is. If we had to keep what we are to one another secret... I just don't think we could.
"Being with you is worth putting up with a little unwanted attention from others."
"You should tell him that when you wake up," Flynn said.
Frowning, Yuri sat up sharply. "Wake up? But, Flynn..."
"You're going to be fine," Flynn said, his voice insistent. "You don't need to stay here anymore. So... wake up, sleepyhead. Tell him how you feel."
"I..."
Sitting up awkwardly, Yuri looked around the empty room. A healer must have been in earlier, since his wound didn't hurt as much as it had the last time he woke up.
There was a book on the floor, propped up against the bed, and Yuri reached for it, wincing as he bent over a bit too much. But he grabbed it and sat back, fluffing up his pillows and flipping through the pages.
It was about the Children of the Full Moon and how they'd sacrificed their lives to create the apatheia that powered Zaude. It worked in tandem with the apatheia left behind by the Entelexeia Vesperia. Now, a thousand years later, their sacrifice was slowly being undone. All Yuri had to do was glance out the window to see the Adephagos' tentacle waving about in the distance.
There had to be a way...
The door snicked softly as it opened. Yuri looked up at Flynn and smiled, his heart hammering away in his chest. "Hey, you look exhausted."
"Yuri," Flynn breathed his name out, brightening with relief and joy. He was across the room in seconds. "I've missed your smile," he whispered, wrapping his arms around Yuri's shoulders and pressing their foreheads together.
There were a lot of things Yuri wanted to talk to Flynn about. Like his decision to have his guild take credit for their part in foiling Alexei's coup or what the latest status on the Adephagos problem was. He wanted to know how his guild was doing, how Estelle was coping, if Rita had been lost under a sea of books, and what path Raven had chosen to follow: guilds or knights.
But, really, there was only one thing Yuri needed to say to Flynn and that took precedence. "I love you, Flynn."
Stunned, but unhesitating, Flynn replied, "I love you too."
Everything else could wait.
A/N - Most of this is, obviously, taking place in Yuri's head. There are the flashbacks to before Zaude, which are real. There's what's actually going on, which Yuri's only sort of aware of for the most part. Finally, there's the 'dream' Flynn, who is basically Yuri's subconscious and is influenced by what's going on around Yuri, particularly what he hears while he's out. So some of what 'dream' Flynn is saying is what the real Flynn is saying, filtered somewhat to fit in with what Yuri's experiencing in the dream.