CHAPTER 9: BIG MONEY MAKE MISTAKES

Corbin doesn't shake his son's hand. Instead, he bear-hugs him. For me and Joe (who's looking pretty skeeved out), that's the first sign that something's not right. Even Nikki picks up on how wrong this is - she doesn't look at anyone, but instead takes a strong interest in her own fingernails. Which, as I've noticed, look like they're getting a little too long to be practical. When we get her home, I'm leaving her with money for the finest manicure she can get in...wherever she lives. (She said something about the Bay Area, right? As in, the San Francisco Bay Area? I'll have to ask later.)

But for now...Joe wriggles out of "Corbin's" embrace and pushes the man back, saying, "I don't know who the hell you are, but you are not my dad."

"He's right," I say as "Corbin" takes on an uncharacteristic "cat that ate the canary" expression. "Sheriff Corbin's too old-school to do what you just did."

"Fair enough," says "Corbin." "Thought I'd try it, anyway. See if you were the real deal."

"What real deal?" asks Joe.

"The Wendigo," says "Corbin." "And the Witness who isn't supposed to be dead. And your wandering friend. But...where are my manners?" He does something else un-Corbin-like - a facepalm. "Come in, come in." He beckons us over the threshold. None of us are too willing to follow him there, but since there's really no other place to go (besides any of the other seven castles, which could have much more undesirable inhabitants than a phony Corbin), we feel like we have no choice but to accept his invitation.

"So," I say as soon as the door closes behind us with surprising silence. "If you're not Corbin - the real Sheriff Corbin - who the hell are you?"

"I'm only a concerned third party who took on Corbin's appearance in an attempt to gain your trust," he says. "And, I admit, to see how good you were as judges of character. Congratulations, you passed."

"At least you're not completely zero-percent accurate at replicating his personality," says Joe.

"You can still call me 'Corbin,' if it's easier for you."

Nikki tucks some of her longer locks behind her ear. "Mister, uh, Sheriff Corbin? Who are you, really? Don't tell me - are you Atropos?"

Corbin shakes his head. "Atropos? No, but I know her. She's a little pissed off that these guys who claim to worship in her name are wreaking so much havoc in the surface world - and it's about to get so much worse." He turns his gaze on me. "Especially with one of the Witnesses lost in the Underworld when she's supposed to live through all the trials and tribulations of Revelation. Or something like that. Let's just say someone in the universe's writer's room lost the plot with you, Abbie."

"Yeah, no shit."

Corbin nods gruffly. "You know, you'd think I'd have a better knowledge of what goes into the Bible. But...hell, I think the people who wrote it have a really bad way of taking my words and misinterpreting them."

My jaw hits the floor - and it's not the only one. "You're..."

"It's all right, you can say it."

Nikki's the first to find her voice again. "You're...God?"

"After a fashion. Reports about my death were, as they say, greatly exaggerated." He laughs at his own joke. "But I haven't answered to that name in so long. Like I said, you can call me 'Corbin.'" He opens another door, revealing a huge, beautifully-lit library on the other side, like something out of a fairy tale.

Oh man, if only Crane were here. He'd think he'd died and gone to Heaven.

"So," Corbin asks, standing just inside the door. "What do you want to know first?"