Chapter X "Light and Shadow"

Írime looked at Loki with bewilderment, he just bowed his head and kept silent. She did not interrupt him, she knew he was keeping his own conversation and did not have to go into his thoughts to know.

After a few long moments he seemed to come out of that reverie and looked at her with that evil look again.

-Don't tell me you do not have secrets …

She was slow to respond, she knew that that carefree attitude was protecting him from something that hurt him in the depths of his soul, it was his shield, she thought, now she could see this clearly. For some reason he felt that she wanted to hear him, wanted to free him from that appearance and make him feel safe at her side. Why had this idea crossed her mind? She simply responded to her instinct nothing more.

- Yes, we all have secrets … and sometimes they are so terrible that we believe that by keeping them we can hide them from ourselves …

She said almost in a whisper. And with this she told him that she also suffered, that there was also something in her life that did not make her proud, she told him that she was as miserable as he was, she told him many things.

Then he nodded and took a breath and stood up.

-Come with me…

He said extending his hand, she hesitated a moment but he waited patiently for her response. Finally she took his hand and after shuddering to feel that cold skin again, stood up.

Their eyes met for a few seconds but neither of them said anything. It was Loki who broke the silence

-I want to show you something..

They walked a fairly long stretch, they crossed the city and all this without saying a single word. By the time she turned her head, the flowery streets had been left far behind.

Loki was down but every now and then he turned his head towards her to smile sweetly.

Maybe, she thought, this had been the most beautiful conversation since the day she had met that particular prince. She would never forget his hand squeezing her hand and his eyes transmitting that sweet complicity.

In the distance, in the middle of a flowery valley rose a beautiful construction with gigantic doors that shone from the distance.

When facing them Írimë looked at Loki with amazement

-It's a temple …

He told her smiling, she nodded in wonder.

It was a construction worthy of admiration. It stood majestically boasting its doors carved into the rock with inscriptions of gold and precious stones, bright as the stars themselves.

Loki approached and caressed the outline of diamond-encrusted runes in the center of the huge door that opened slowly opening the way.

Írime¨ hesitated again, but he gently squeezed her hand and gave her another warm smile

-Do not be afraid.

Told him

She looked at him with her sad eyes. In all her life she had only entered a Temple and had returned to it tirelessly. She had never set foot in any other temple than that in the mountains of Jotunheim.

She remembered her own words the first time she had entered there, she had said exactly that, - "Do not be afraid" -, She was able to recognize in that request the need of someone who fully wants to gain confidence.

She tried to recover from a memory that was very alien to that moment and with her trembling body she allowed herself to be driven inside.

It was beautiful. The walls were bathed in gold and many statues surrounded the central hall that was completely lit with huge stand-up chandeliers.

-This is my favorite place … I've been here since I can remember … and I'm not saying it figuratively … It's a temple dedicated to the ancestors …

He said pointing with his arm extended to the sides and with an almost mocking tone that told her he did not feel any respect for them.

-All the great lords of Asgard are here …

Írime looked around and felt chills, maybe that would not be her favorite place after all.

-When I was a child, my mother brought me frequently, she wanted me to understand that even when I felt different, here was my blood too, She wanted I would can feel the voice of the ancients to help me understand …

Irime looked at him with a frown, there was something in the tone in his voice that told her that this was very sad for him, so she listened with reverence, without thinking about her own pain.

He took one of the candles and held it close to a huge Syrian standing beside a kind of stone altar. He lit it and, bowing, walked away and looked at the young woman who was watching him in silent

-I never did, I never understood anything or heard their voices, they never meant anything to me …

He said with a more severe voice now

- Anyway, I went back whenever I could, anything was better than enduring the mistreatment of Odin … at least here I found some peace …

He said sadly again

then he approached her and warmly took her hands, she was thrilled again to feel his cold touch, then he moved his hands and a flash of light appeared between them, slowly the golden sparks began to form a sphere transparent light, Irime was moved by that magical act, then as he moved his hands in delicate circles the sphere that was suspended in the air began to turn and show inside what appeared to be a white flower that Irime recognized quickly, it was the flower of Lorien's gardens, Her flower among all the flowers, its white petals shone and above them drops of dew that looked like pearls, when the vision cleared up she saw that that flower danced magically in a landscape covered by ice, the frost dimly blurred the crystal of the sphere, she was amazed but confused.

-Alfheim and Jotunheim ….

He said pointing to the sphere that was suspended on the palm of Irime's hand

-Here we are both …

She looked at the sphere and although she was amazed she did not understand it

-You say you love the Jotnar and I hate them, as everyone here just a little more …

Irime felt that the soul was cringing just to hear him talk like that.

-But my mother, she once loved them, at least one of them …

Irimé felt her heart speed up. Was he telling her that the queen had loved someone more than Odin and that she had been a Jotun?

- Do you understand now why there will never be peace between Jotunheim and Asgard? it is not only because of the attacks on Midgard, it is not only because of the wars, Odin will never allow the Jotnar to stop being enemies, He will always keep them away from Asgard … I am the fruit of that love that Odin will never forgive, there will never be peace…

Írimë went back to hit her back with the altar stone, the sphere that was still suspended on her palms fell and smashed to the ground, she looked it anguished but turned her huge eyes towards Loki and her heart seemed to get out of the chest.

-You..

She said babbling and with her eyes about to burst into tears

-You are a Jotun …

She said in a broken and barely audible voice

-That's why the cold … that's why I …

And she stopped because she had to put ers ideas in order. He was telling her that the queen of Asgard had loved a Jotun and that he was their son, he was half Jotun, she could understand why she had felt that scorching cold since she had arrived in Asgard, it had not been her memories, it had been the Jotnar wanting to tell her that they were at her side, it was the presence of a Jotun that had made her feel that. Now she understood why her spirit had never alerted her to danger when she was with him.

Maybe she should have been happy to hear about it, but it was so sad that he told what it had been impossible for her to feel any happiness.

She tried to force herself to ask a question even though her voice was shaking

-And your father..?

Loki sighed at the half-finished question and walked to the end of the altar.

-She never said it, it was a curse anyway, she got rid of me when I was not more than six years old, I lived with him in Jotunheim, that had been the treatment according to my mother, and one day he brought me to Asgard and he went, he never came back …

She shook her head when she heard it

She knew the Jotnar, understood their costumes, and knew that they were incapable of doing something like that.

-If you want to know something else, that story must have been a lot for such a small child because my memories begin here, in Asgard, I am unable to remember anything that happened before my arrival in the realm of the Aesir …

After saying this he returned to take breath

-Maybe this answering your question, because I never refer to Odin as my father, he has been anything but that …

Írim¨se remained quiet for a moment and thinking.

She knew that what he was saying was impossible, she knew that no Jotnar would ever abandon one of their children, she could not believe that any of them would be able to do it.

-Once the Odin and joined our blood, I was very small but I can remember that, he told me that after that we would be united forever, he and I together, we would be family … that never happened … maybe he tried, I do not know , but he could never love me …

However she tried to calm her own confusion because Loki's pain was piercing her soul, it was stronger than anything else she could think or feel at that moment. So she took a breath and crouched next to the shattered sphere at her feet, took the pieces of glass between her hands and with a magical movement of her fingers joined them, the sphere returned to shine as beautiful and radiant as before, such more time because now the magic of both had dadp life. She lifted it gently before Loki's gaze that was also covered by tears, deposited the beautiful sphere on the stone stone altar and taking breath approached Loki slowly, he looked at her in silence

She approached and raised her hands to his face he made himself back but then he stayed still, understood what she wanted.

He let her put her delicate hands on his face, which turned white as frost at her touch, he felt ashamed but soon understood that this was not the right feeling at least not in front of her.

Irime caressed his face and both shivered at her touch, she knew that his face was as cold as his hands, that cold ice and so warm at the same time that she had only known in Jotunheim. He was one of them, but he concealed his appearance, he wanted to be an Asgardian because he repudiated those who had abandoned him and although she knew that it was a mistake, that he was wrong to believe this, she understood it and felt sad at the glimpse the magnitude of his grief.

-I understand your pain … I have also walked in the shadows Loki …

At that moment he knew, for the first time in his life that she understood him, he knew that there was something in her that did him good, he knew that he felt safe.

They both felt an irresistible desire to kiss, they were so close, not just their bodies, their souls were dancing at that moment, they caressed each other in a game that was sweet and seductive, their eyes met, he knew she was special, that began to feel something that he had never felt for anybody, he did not want to enter into her thoughts, since that time he would never do it again, because he would not want to know if she felt the same for him, he thought that she could feel sorry, she was too kind, Maybe she felt sorry for his story, he did not want to know that, he would not go back into her thoughts because he would not be able to accept her compassion.. He knew that she was a pure soul, that even if he wanted to kiss her and have her in his life, it would not have been fair to her, he was too dark for so much light.

She also had felt that touch between their souls, she did not feel any comparison, she was beginning to see that being hidden behind the carefree Loki and she was falling in love with him. Even though she had not felt that feeling before, even though she was far from understanding that, she waited, she wanted him to kiss her and she wanted to hug him, she felt that terrible need but she did not move, she just waited

Then Loki did his first altruistic act and his radiant blue eyes flashed with a slightly green luminosity, closed for a few moments as if trying to contain all his cravings, his skin regained its color and lost that icy whiteness and his hands rested on her arms of Irime and gently moved away, when he opened his eyes the Jotun was no longer there. She was saddened by his rejection but accepted it.

-I'm made of shadows …

He told her almost in a whisper.