Author's note: Thank you for your kind reviews!
I really appreciate them… they usually give me a boost to write… so keep them coming ;)

As always I don't own a thing…

Chapter 4 Taverns

Remember, I will still be here

As long as you hold me in you memories

(Remember – Josh Groban)

It was late in the afternoon, dark rain clouds lay ominous in the sky. It had been raining long and hard the previous week and this was the first time the rain had eased up in days; though it wouldn't be for long it would seem. The weather captured the mood in the Garrisson perfectly. Captain Treville was standing on the balconylooking out over the courtyard below. It had been a couple weeks since the news of Aramis' demise had reached him and he knew nothing had been the same since. He had noticed it in the musketeer cadets who had respected and liked Aramis very much and in the fellow musketeers who were trying to go about business as usual but everything felt different… They all had lost a member of their family and everybody took it hard. Treville looked down at the long table which was usually occupied by the Inseperables but was now standing empty and alone in the courtyard… Athos, Porthos and 'd Artagnan had taken the loss of their fellow musketeer hard; especially the latter since it was him who Aramis had helped. He had not seen much of the three of them and he had left them alone for the most part, to give them time to grieve their brother… but it seemed that the time to grieve was over … The King had a new assignment and he needed his best men for this.

The hour was getting late when he found Athos and Porthos in a nearby tavern. Porthos was playing cards with a few Red Guards and Athos was sitting alone in a corner table with a bottle of wine.

Porthos had seen him come in and nodded to his Captain. Treville inclined his head towards Athos, looking at Porthos; meaning he needed to come and sit with them. Porthos nodded that he understood and made quick work of the card game he was engaged in.

Treville sat down opposite Athos who looked up, annoyed. Treville ordered wine for himself and waited for Porthos to join them.

'Captain,' Porthos greeted, sitting down beside him. 'Didn't expect to see you here.'

'I need to know if you are up for a new mission,' the captain answered. 'I know it has been a hard few weeks for all of us… but I need my best men for this…'

Athos' stale blue eyes looked hard at his Captain and inclined his head slightly, 'of course we are up for it…' he answered determined.
Porthos agreed nodding his head, clapping a hand on his captain's shoulder, 'we do what needs to be done.'

Treville nodded, looking into is cup with wine, taking a sip and asking, 'What about 'd Artagnan?'

Porthos and Athos looked at each other and the latter sighed, 'It will get his mind of off things…'

'Yeah, well he needs to stop blaming himself,' Porthos said growling. Annoyed at 'd Artagnan but also annoyed at himself because he himself felt guilty for what had happened to Aramis. He knew he had tried, but he felt he could… should have tried harder. Aramis should not have died! And he couldn't sleep without reliving that day… the day he lost his friend; his brother.

Athos and Captain Treville agreed. 'He is young. He just needs time…

They sat in silence for a moment but then Treville emptied his cup and said, 'I will brief you tomorrow at sun up. Make sure 'd Artagnan is present…'

The other two nodded and the captain took that as his cue to leave.

Porthos turned towards his brother, 'Well, we've our work cut out for us then… Especially since we don't know where he is…'

'We will find him,' Athos shrugged, throwing a few coins on the table and standing up. 'Shouldn't be too hard to find a hot headed Musketeer from Gascony whom picks a fight with everyone and everything these days…'

'Right,' Porthos growled. Leaving the tavern with his brother musketeer. 'Maybe he wanted some quiet and went to Constance…'

Shaking his head, Athos said, 'Last time he saw her they had a fight… and I don't think he's apologized yet. And anyway, Constance is still living at the palace so he couldn't have gone there.'

'Right,' Porthos sighed, 'Well lets check the Garrisson first… ya never know.'

Athos agreed and together they walked back to the Garrisson. But 'd Artagnan wasn't at the Garrisson and no one had seen him. Before Athos and Porthos could think of another place where their fellow musketeer could be, one of the Musketeer cadets came running into the courtyard. Seeing the senior musketeers he yelled out of breath, 'Athos! Porthos! …It's 'd Artagnan!'

'That was easier then I'd imagined,' Porthos chuckled. 'What is it?' he asked, adressing the cadet.

The Musketeer cadet tried to catch his breath while saying, ''d Artagnan… he… got into… fight…'

Athos sighed, 'Of course he did… where?'

'Tavern 'The Barking Dog'', the cadet answered. 'Near the square with the fountain with the dog statue.'

'Ah, he's wandered off to the shady side of Paris then…' Porthos said, shaking his head.

When Athos and Porthos arrived at the scene they found that 'd Artagnan didn't need their rescuing. The musketeer was sitting in front of the tavern nursing a bloody nose and a split lip but otherwise he seemed fine. There was no sign of his fellow brawlers. The Gascon looked up to his brothers acknowledging them but said nothing and went back to studying the ground.

Athos crossed his arms, leaning against a support beam, 'What happened?' he drawled.

'd Artagnan didn't look up but said, 'This guy… he rubbed me the wrong way.'

'I'm sure…' Athos replied sarcastic. 'We have a new assignment… briefing is tomorrow at sun up.'

'Tell Treville I'm injured so I can't go,' 'd Artagnan said in a flat voice.

'Ignoring orders now, are we?' Porthos positively growled. 'Seems to me that if you can pick a fight in a tavern you can also do your job and obey orders…'

Finally 'd Artagnan looked up at Porthos; fire in his eyes. 'Yeah well look where that got Aramis! Dead! At the side of the road and we couldn't even give him a proper burial…'

'We all miss him, 'd Artagnan,' Porthos said angrily, 'but he wouldn't want us to disobey orders, pick fights, destroy our own lives over it… You're not the only one who feels guilty for what happened!'

'd Artagnan mumbled something unintelligble in response, crossing his arms defiantly.

'You have a choice to make, 'd Artagnan,' Athos stated. 'Do you want to be a King's Musketeer?'

'd Artangan glared at Athos, 'Of course I want to be a Musketeer! I am a Musketeer!' he answered irritated.

'Well, then act like one!' Athos said. Pushing away from the support beam. 'Tomorrow at sun up Treville's briefing us for this new assignment. Be there… if you're not…'

'I will be there, ''d Artagnan interrupted him forcefully standing up. 'but do you even want to know why I'm angry?' Not waiting for a response he continue, 'It's because it doesn't seem to bother you that he's dead! Do you even care? He saved my life and he died because of it! If I had… had…' he couldn't go on. The wound still to fresh of losing his brother. His eyes shone bright and he let his head drop.

'You think I don't care Aramis is gone?' Athos questioned astonished. 'Then I guess you don't know me at all. Don't you think I've relived that day a hundred times and more? Thinking how things could've gone differently if I had done this or that instead of…' Athos sighed, grabbing 'd Artagnan by his shoulders. 'I would have gladly given my life for his! He had a lot more to lose then I have; more then you know! But it happened, it was Aramis who gave his life and not me. And he would not want me to shirk my duty… he would want me to take the responsibility of protecting the Queen and the King with my life.' Letting go of 'd Artagnan he added, 'Don't accuse me of not caring…'

'It was Aramis' choice to help you,' Porthos said. 'You know how he was… He put everyone before himself. He valued your life more then his own so it's only the right thing to do, to honour him, when we go on to do our duty.'

'd Artagnan sighed, nodding his head thoughtfully, 'I guess you are right… doesn't mean it's easy to accept it… And I just really wish that we could have given him a burial; one he deserved. He doesn't even have a grave.' His voice breaking slightly.

Both Porthos and Athos nodded and the latter answered, 'There is nothing we can do about that… but what we can do is remembering him.'

'Always,' Porthos and 'd Artagnan said simultaniously.

'Come let's have a drink in his honour and then call it a night,' Porthos proposed. 'Early day tomorrow and all that.'

'D Artagnan nodded, 'Yes, alright.'

Porthos clapped him on the back, causing 'd Artagnan to stumble a little, 'and a little bit of advice. Maybe you should apologize to Constance…'

'Now you even sound like him…' 'd Artagnan snorted.

Author's Note: Next chapter things will move along a bit more… but as I said in the previously. Chapter 5 had been a struggle and still is I have to say although it's coming along… I hope to have it finished by the end of next week at the latest (hopefully) But also the summerhollidays have started today so you'd think I have more time for writing… but I'll be working more… so I'll have to try and make time for writing… As always reviews are very much appreciated…