Eternal Soul

by Ricky Pine

***THIS FIC IS SET AFTER THE SEASON 3 FINALE OF SLEEPY HOLLOW. MAJOR SPOILERS WILL BE INCLUDED WITHIN. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.*** An Eternal Soul can never die. It's time for Ichabod Crane's beloved Leftenant to come back to this earthly plane. But to make her way back, she'll need a bit of help from a fellow dead person - one who has a bit of unfinished business of his own.

21. You Say You Want Your Freedom

CHAPTER 21: YOU SAY YOU WANT YOUR FREEDOM

"About time!" cries Lucifer as we open the door for him, against our better judgment. "I'd almost convinced myself you weren't gonna help me, not even if I offered you work with me if and when I get upstairs."

"What would we do?" asks Nikki despite me elbowing her in a failed preemptive attempt to shut her up.

"Oh, I could sign you up for many a job-"

"I wouldn't take one." I actually make Lucifer take a step back just from my fierce gaze. "I have standards, and you don't meet them."

"I meet nobody's standards," Lucifer says. "That, I already know. But some people just have to set such standards aside. Complete failure to compromise is no way to get ahead-"

"So explain why you're down here," Joe cuts in. "Is it 'cause you yourself failed to compromise?"

Lucifer narrows his eyes. "Let's not talk about me. I'm here to talk about you."

"Spare us the snake-oil salesmanship," I say. "And the motivational speakership."

"You say that like those are equivalently awful."

"That better be rhetorical," I say. "But seriously, cut the crap, Satan."

"Stop calling me that!"

"I barely ever called you anything."

"I hate that bloody name!"

"Satan!" cries Joe.

"Satan Satan Satan!" Nikki chimes in.

I'm not down to be that flavor of rude myself, but I'll still tell it like it is. "We just pulled you to safety out of the goodness of our hearts," I say. "Not that you know anything about that."

"About what?"

"Goodness," Nikki says. "Or hearts. Am I right?"

I give her the thumbs-up, and Lucifer a middle finger with which I oh-so-subtly scratch the end of my nose. Naturally, he catches sight of it and pouts until I stop, and even long after that.

"If I said 'please,'" Lucifer grumbles, "would you help me then?"

"Help you with what?" I ask. "Get you out of here?"

I barely even finish talking before Lucifer shouts, "Yes! Please, get me upstairs! California's calling my name!" He takes a moment to collect himself, then surveys us for another moment. "Just as it does for one of you. No?"

Nikki stares back at him, and before I can advise her against it, she says, "Yes."

"Perfect!" Lucifer snakes his arm around Nikki's shoulders.

Joe and I gaze at each other in mingled disbelief and annoyance. "Lovely," I mutter to myself, hoping against hope this sweet white girl doesn't sink us all.

Though, based on how history's gone - history in general, and mine personally, specifically Katrina Friggin' Crane - that hope's going to be a slim one at best.