Note: This episode takes place ten years later. Also, this one's pretty long; think of this as a half hour special.
In a lone field, a dark skinned, dreadlocked male figure wearing a black cowboy hat, a black tank top underneath a steel chest plate that was underneath a black poncho, black jeans rolled up military style, and black steel toed boots. He concealed his face by wearing a black, patterned bandana. Two bandoliers ran across his body from his shoulders to his hips. One more bandolier was across his waist like a type of belt. Two holsters on his thighs carried twin barreled revolvers. He squinted his eyes as another figure came up to his field of vision.
The newcomer was fair skinned, and had long, white hair. He wore a red headband around his head as he wore a fearsome look. A brown, long, furry tunic came down to his knees as he wore no pants. Brown fur boots finished up this savage's ensemble as he stopped about five feet from the gunslinger. "You there! State your business!" The barbarian ordered, taking his sword out as a precaution.
The gunslinger snorted, "That doesn't concern me; however, what does concern me that the fact you're wearing women fur boots. You playing for the other team, sonny?" The barbarian blushed, but he stood his ground. No one talked about his fashion sense and gets away with it!
"An unwise choice of mocking me, desperado. Do you kiss you mother with that mouth? I'm sure she would be disappointed in you greatly," The barbarian remarked as he raised his sword in threating manner. The gunslinger stifled his laughter as he lightly grabbed one of his revolvers.
"Not as much as your momma for letting stroll out in the open in your man dress," The gunslinger smirked, bursting out in laughter. The barbarian growled and charged the gunslinger.
"Enough, scum! Let's see if your fighting skills can back up that mouth of yours!" The barbarian shouted, jumping in the air for a slash. It was do or die at that point on as the gunslinger pulled his revolvers out.
"Let's see if you're a better fighter than you are a dresser," The gunslinger replied, back flipping with his arms extended out, ready to fire. The two combatants were ready to exchange bullets and swings, respectively. Nothing could stop this two, nothing at all!
"Linky? Kelli?"
Except for Lily; she and the other girls were looking at Lincoln and T.K. with surprised looks. The two males, who froze in mid air, looked back at the girls their own wide eyed looks. Suddenly, they were back in the front yard of the Loud house. This can not be good. The girls began to burst out laughing as Lincoln and T.K. flopped to the ground.
"Oh…my…god! What are you two twerps doing!? P-playing cowboys and barbarains, ha ha!" Lori laughed, hanging onto Leni for dear life. Muttering to themselves, the boys stood up from their transition into reality. One has to be careful if he or she decided to anything that the Loud sisters deemed nerdy.
"Oh, great. The Killjoy squad. And for your info, it's called LARPing," T.K. corrected, dusting himself off. Lynn stopped laughing long enough for her to respond.
"LARPing? What's that? Some weird mating season for nerds like the two of you?!" Lynn joked as she and the others resumed their laugh attack. Lincoln and T.K. glared silently as the girls laughed, and laughed.
"Are you done?" T.K. asked disdainfully.
"No, no! Wait…Pfftt, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ok, ok, we're done. Go on," Lana ordered, stifling her laughter.
"Now, LARP stands for Live Action Role Play. Me and T.K., the LARPers, act out our action in a fantasy setting where we try to achieve our own goal. I.E., beating each other up, saving a princess, or destroying an evil warlord. You can make you own characters and such," Lincoln explained, jabbing his sword dangerously close to T.K.
T.K. weaved all of the close calls, "Uh, bruh? Could ya swing that somewhere else?!" He took a step away from Lincoln. "Anyway, it was all good until y'all showed up."
Luna took a close look at T.K.'s face and raised her hands to her face, stifling her giggles. "Dude, is that eyeliner?"
"No! It's face paint! It helps with the glare of the sun," T.K. growled, face palming with a sigh. The girls laughed once again at this reveal. It just not the guys' day, huh?
"Congratulations! You manage sound 20% more nerdier than before," Lola remarked spitefully, gaining another round of laughs.
"I don't know. It seems, like, fun to me," Leni piped innocently. Lincoln and T.K. took one look at each other before stifling their own laughter.
"We appreciate the support, Leni. But you nor the girls wouldn't know fun if it smacked you across the face," T.K. joked cockily, twirling his revolver around his finger. The girls became crossed from that roast.
"Uh, yes we do!" Lori argued, getting in T.K.'s face. The boys laughed some more at that claim.
"So, spending your money on clothes and getting your hair and nails done counts as having fun? Puhlease!" Lincoln snarked, holding his hand for T.K. T.K. promptly gave Lincoln a low five. Lori growled as Luan dragged her away.
"So what's the point that the two of you spending YOUR money on clothes and weapons for?" Luan pointed out insightfully. Lincoln's and T.K.'s eyes widened as they looked at each other.
"That's not the point," They both answered quickly as their faces reddened. T.K. regained his composure.
"Face it, girls. This is two times more fun than any of your activities," T.K. declared in confidence, crossing his arms cockily.
"Uh uh!" The girls argued. The men stood their round.
"Yeah huh!" Lincoln and T.K. retaliated.
"Uh uh, times two!" The girls yelled.
"Yeah huh!" Lincoln shouted.
"Times infinity! Nyah!" T.K. added, sticking his tongue out mockingly.
The girls pouted, "Hey, no fair!" Just then, Lisa stepped up to Lincoln.
"If I may, gentlemen. Everyone, I may have something that will put this argument to rest. Follow me," Lisa ordered, walking into the house. The other girls looked at Lincoln and T.K. with confused looks. The two men shrugged as they followed Lisa inside.
In the elevator…
The elevator was spacious and bedroom sized. The waiting music was also catchy, having a vaporwave vibe to it. T.K. was dancing to it happily "Huh. Dis song real catchy, cuz," T.K remarked, performing an isolation. The others gave him confused and unamused looks. T.K. stopped long to look at everyone's reaction.
"What? Ain't my fault that I have better tastes, folks," T.K. defended as he resumed dancing.
DING!
The elevator stopped as the doors slid open. Everyone exit the elevator, taking in the huge underground laboratory and the various machines, doo hickeys, and doo dads. Luan walked up to a machine that steadily conducting small dosages of lighting. She gave it a touch, shocking herself lightly as her hair spazzed out wildly. "Hey guys? Why does lighting shock people? Because it doesn't know how to conduct itself! Ha, ha, ha, ha! Get it!" Luan cackled while everyone else groaned.
Lisa pulled her away from the machine, "Luan, please refrain from touching this. You're lucky that this was set on low." She turned her head towards Lana and Lola; the former was chasing the latter with a vial of an unknown substance. The vial itself was shaking violently.
"Lana, quit it! I DON'T want that to stain or dissolve my dress," Lola warned in anger, running as fast as her heels could let her. Lana was on her tail as her sinister grin widened.
"Aw, come on sis! Don't ya wanna another color that's not pink? Now, ge- WHOA!" Lana bellowed, tripping over a stray robot arm. The vial flew out her hand, spinning rapidly as it cracked into pieces…
BOOM!
"Oh, good grief! Girls!" Lisa glared as Lola and Lana froze. The two cowered under the scientist's glare. That was three months of work that Lana ruined.
"Sorry, Lisa," They both apologized meekly. Lisa turned her head towards Leni and her eyes widened. Leni was standing in front of a pedestal that had a huge, red button at the top.
"Ooooo, what does this do?" Leni asked herself, pressing the button. Lisa tried to stop her but it as too late…
"Leni! Don't touch th-"
BEEP!
"Warning: Self destruct activated. T-minus, five seconds," A male robotic voice declared as Lisa gave Leni another glare. The room's lighting became a sinister red as an alarm rang out.
"Oops. Sorry, Lisa," Leni apologized meekly. Everyone sans Lisa began to panic as they all ran to the elevator.
"Four, three," The voice counted down. T.K. was rapidly pushing the down button for the elevator.
"Hurry, damn it!" T.K. screamed.
"Two, one," The voice continued. Everyone held each other in pure, unadulterated fear for their lives.
"AHHHHHHHHH!" They all screamed. Smirking, Lisa shook her head before clapping.
CLAP! CLAP!
"Albert, abort self destruction," Lisa ordered. The alarm suddenly stopped as everyone looked around in surprise.
"Self destruction aborted. Have a nice day, Lisa the Magnificent," Albert signed off. Sighing, Lisa turned to the others with a firm glare.
"Now, come with me before anyone else sends us into more peril," Lisa instructed rudely as she walking away. The others stayed together as they followed her quickly. At the end of the lab, there were ten chairs with goggles and weird, dome shaped hats. Everyone sans Lisa sat down on the chairs.
"So, Lis'. What is all this, and what does this have to do with LARPing?" Lincoln pried. Lisa was stationed at a nearby computer, typing in various codes before turning to Lincoln in her chair.
"It's fairly simple, my Y-chromosome sibling. The helmets allow you to become linked to cyberspace, and the goggles allow you gaze the cyberspace world," Lisa explained before turning back to the computer. Everyone sans T.K. was confused as they looked at her with baffled looks.
"Huh?" They all asked. T.K. snapped his fingers in realization.
"She means that with this equipment, we can go into the virtual reality world," T.K. summed up. Lisa nodded as she continued to type more codes.
"Correct, T.K. Now, these series of machines will test to see if yours and Lincoln's claims are true or not," Lisa retorted, hopping off the chair and walking to her siblings.
"Wait, lil' dudette. Why don't you have your own helmet and goggles for yourself?" Luna wondered as she balanced the helmet on her head.
Lisa readjusted her glasses, "Well, somebody has make sure that everything goes according to plan. Not to mention, somebody has to be the gamekeeper or in Live Action Role Playing terminology, the game master. Now, put those helmets and goggles on." Everyone does what they're told. Lisa walked back to her computer.
"Alright, on the count of three, you all will be submitted to the cyberspace world," Lisa warned as everyone nodded. "Three, two…" She began to slowly lower her finger to the green button.
"Wait, Lisa! Are you sure that this is literally safe?" Lori questioned suspiciously. Lisa stopped and put her hands on her hips.
"Uh, yes! What sister I would be if I were to put you all in harm's way. On that note, trynottodieorelseyou'lldieinreallife," Lisa warned quickly. Due to the fast talking and heavy lisp, everyone couldn't decipher what she was warning about. T.K. grasped some of it and did a double take.
"Wait, what?" T.K. pried confusingly. He did not just heard what he thought heard.
"ONE!" Lisa continued, pressing the button down.
BEEP!
The helmets sent a light pulse throughout everyone's bodies, sending them to sleep. Lisa smiled as she stretched her fingers, snapping every crook. "Now, let the game begin," She declared, pressing the enter button.
In cyberspace… (In this part, it just describing the girls' outfits. You can skip if you want to the next scene, but you can read it and guess what class they are. )
A huge column of light shot down from the sky, materializing the Louds in a lightshow of pixels. Everyone gave themselves a look over themselves to see that everything was there. Lincoln and T.K. wore their LARPing costumes, feeling strange power coursing through their veins. They looked around and founded that they were in a vast forest where the sun was shining brightly through the leaves and branches.
"What," T.K. began, flexing his fingers.
"The," Lincoln continued, taking out his sword.
"Heck!?" Lily finished, slapping her hands to her cheeks.
"Ugh, what's with this dress?! It's stunning and all, but it's literally too tight!" Lori growled, pulling at her dress. The dress was sky blue, strapless, shoulderless, flowing near to the ground, and ended in cuts at the hem. She wore black shoulder length gloves. There was a slit in her dress, revealing her black thigh length gladiator high heeled sandals. To finish the ensemble, a large floppy witch hat sat on top of her head.
THOMP! THOMP! THOMP!
The ground shook as Lori turned her head towards the source.
Leni tilted her head, staring down her big sister. "Lori, do you, like, need help?" The younger blonde stood over eight feet tall; her voice booming throughout the forest. She wore a fur tube top and a long loincloth to her lower calf. She wore steel, ornate bracelets around her wrist. Face paint decorated her face as she looked at Lori in concern. Fur boots like Lincoln's were stationed at her feet, and a wolf headdress was wore on top of her head. A large great axe was secured behind her back.
"The sooner, the better!" Lori snapped, pulling more at the dress. Leni grabbed her by the shoulders and lifted her to her face. Squinting her eyes, she scanned Lori all over her body. She gasped in realization as she looked at Lori's back. She grabbed the string, undoing the tightness of the dress.
"Better?" Leni pried, looking towards Lori in expectance. Lori nodded with a smile.
"So much," Lori answered in bliss. Her eyes widened and her face reddened as Leni was causing her dress to slowly come down. "Leni! That's enough!" She hastily covered herself up as the dress fell even more.
"Sorry!" Leni apologized, quickly redoing Lori's dress to where she can breath more easily.
"Looks like Leni almost gave Lori the NIP slip! Get it?" Luan joked, nudging Luna. She wore a brown leather vest that was over a yellow tank top. A knee length black skirt wrapped around her lower body while knee length black leather boots complimented her skirt. Black leather gloves protected her dainty hands. A wooden bow rested on her back along with a large bag of arrows. A yellow scarf completed her rough and tumble look.
Luna was having trouble holding in her laughter, "Pffft! Good one, sis!" She basically wore the same type of outfit as Luan, but the differences are: Her vest was dark gray, black leather pants was donned to her legs, and her boots were purple, ankle length, and had a long heel, contrasting Luan's non heeled boots. A purple scarf flowed freely from her neck. After calming down from her near laugh attack, she tipped her black, small fedora to Luan in approval. On her back was an ivory white harp-guitar combination.
"Woah, an actual ninja sword!" Lynn remarked in awe, twirling the katana. She wore a black spandex body suit that was underneath a red hoodie leotard. Wrist length gauntlets with red metal protected her hands. Black tabi with red shin guards were fitted on her feet to finish her stealthy look.
Lucy opened her spell book, "Sigh, might as well look through my poem book until something arises. …Gasp, this IS NOT my poem book!" She wore a different version of her Lolita dress where there was more white than black and her heels was different too. The only addition was her hood, and her dark purple amulet necklace.
"Ribbit!" A large frog bellowed as it eyed the forest curiously. It was the size of a large boulder. Lana sat on top of the behemoth as she pat it lovingly.
"Wow! Aren't you the biggest, cutest guy, huh? I'll call you…Super Hopps!" Lana deemed, striking a heroic pose. She wore a blue poncho that was made from animal hide. Navy pants was also made from animal hide, along with her moccasins. Her face was covered in face paint, and her ears was long and pointy. Two holsters was wrapped around her thighs, which hid two daggers.
"Although, the dress is cute, but that still won't save Lisa from me for sending us here!" Lola shouted to the sky, shaking her fist into the air. She wore a pink, ornate dress that was under a white cloak. The dress was wide at the herm, granting her wide leg movement. Black leggings was under the dress to ward away any peeping eyes. Ankle length high heeled boots granted her little boost in height. Like Lana, her ears were long and pointy as well. An ornate, golden rapier gave an elegant princess like her some steel to defend herself.
Lily's stomach grumbled. "Guys, I'm hungry." She wore a lavender plaid dress with a black corset. A lavender hooded cloak covered her head, giving her a Little Red Riding Hood like appearance. White thigh length socks, and lavender sequined shoes finished her adorable appearance. She held a basket with a stuffed rabbit in tow. She walked up to T.K. and tugged on his pant leg. "Kelly, do you know where we can eat?"
"Hmm, there should be a pub of some sort that we can grub nearby," T.K. reassured, scoping the path as far as his eye could see. Lori scoffed at this and folded her arms.
"Do you literally think that we all should follow you to God's nowhere?" She questioned in a clearly unamused manner. T.K. walked up to her and matched her glare.
"Oh, do you have a better idea that doesn't involve all of us sitting on our asses with our thumbs in our noses, wicked witch?" T.K. argued, flicking Lori's hat with his finger.
Lori fixed her hat. "At least, my plan doesn't involve any of us walking into harm's way," Lori retaliated, getting in T.K.'s face. Before the two could tussle, Lily stood in between them.
"Guys, stop it. What's more important? Fighting each other or finding civilization?" Lily asked, spacing the two away from each other. T.K. took noticed of Lily's interference. He wrapped an arm around her and began to walk away from Lori.
T.K. tossed a shit-eating smirk towards Lori. "You're right, baby sis. Let's go find civilization so that we can EAT!" T.K. punctuated, patting Lily on her back. Shrugging to each other, the others began to follow the two, leaving Lori alone. Lori herself followed everyone else, muttering angrily.
In a village…
A cozy village was blooming with activity. Children chasing each other playfully, people conversing about his or her daily affairs, and the village idiot being locked up in a stock as fruit was thrown at him. A local band was playing a lively tune, which Luna couldn't get into because of its lack of aggressiveness.
"Ugh, this music is about to make me chunder, luvs. Let me have a crack at it?" Luna pleaded in exasperation, pulling out her hartar. She was about to take off running towards the stage. Lori grabbed her by the shoulder, making her run in her tracks.
"Luna, now's not the time to literally spilt up. Understand!?" Lori demanded, shaking her rockstar of a sister. Sighing, Luna replaced her hartar onto her back, and crossed her arms with a upset pout.
"Tosh, mate. A load of tosh," Luna grumbled as she followed the group once more. A man with a assortment of shields leaped out in front of them, scaring them half to death except for Lucy.
"Shields! A warrior's best friend against other pointy, deadly weaponry. Also, something to cuddle up with when you don't have a significant other like myself," The salesman informed, looking sad for a second after the last statement.
"Uh, no thank you," T.K. retorted, pushing him aside. As soon as the man is out of his sight, another salesman appeared with daggers.
"How about some daggers, stranger? Can't go wrong with some cold steel for your next-OOF!" The second salesman grunted from T.K. pushing him away.
"Not interested!" T.K. barked as the first salesman again pop out of nowhere again; this time, he was wearing a mustache, and he was juggling flaming shields. The gang was getting tired of these persistent salesmen.
Lola squinted her eyes, "Hey, aren't you the salesman that we saw from the first time?" Lola's questioning strengthened as everyone casted unconvinced looks at the salesman. The salesman sweat dropped as he kept his focus on his shields.
"Uh, you must have me confused with my brother's uncle's cousin's dad from his side of the family. Now, PLEASE! Buy some of my shields! My wife said I can't partake in nug-a-nug with her anymore if I don't come home without any money!" The salesman begged tearfully, dropping to his knees as he still juggled the flaming shields. Everyone cringed at the man's sorrow. Some felt bad for the man's misfortune, while others gagged at the inappropriate statement.
Shaking his head, T.K. pulled down his bandana to speak more clearly, "Cuz, TMI," Lincoln walked up to the man and crouched down to his level.
"Look, guy. We are not going to buy your…flaming shields, but could you tell us where could we eat? My brother and sisters are extremely hungry," Lincoln explained with a hint of worry. In quick 180 change of emotions, the salesman stopped juggling and appeared happy again.
"Oh, just down the road. Sir Knave's Big Guy. You can't miss it," The salesman assured, pointing down to a restaurant. In the front, their was a large cartoonish statue of knight with one foot on a defeated dragon. The entire building was made of stone with a wooden sign that said the restaurant's name. Lincoln smiled at the helpful answer as he went back to the group.
"Alright, he said that the restaurant is down the road. Let's go," Lincoln rallied confidently. He and everyone else dashed hungrily to the restaurant. Before he could, T.K. had something to say.
"Say, cuz. One of your flaming shields landed in a nearby cart. Might wanna go douse it pronto," T.K. suggested with a shrug. The salesman's eyes widened at the information as he turned his head slowly. One of his shields set a cart that was full of hay ablaze.
"Good heavens! Sir Isaac!? Is this your doing!? That's the third time this week!" The owner remarked in disbelief, fanning the flames with his cloak.
Isaac rolled his eyes, "I realized that, Richard. I'll get the bucket."
In Sir Knave's Big Guy…
T.K. pushed the door opened as everyone was pushing and shoving each other to get in. Not knowing her strength, Leni pushed everyone inside with a simple thrust. A young waitress walked up to the dogpile with a plucky smile. "Good marrow to you all! Thou art a hefty bunch! How many art taking thine seat?" She asked happily. Lori took a second to register what she said.
"Uh, yeah? Table for eleven, please," Lori asked politely. The waitress escorted the gang down to a booth with a large round table. Everyone took a seat as the waitress handed out multiple menus.
"I'll be right with you as soon as you made your choice," The waitress informed, walking away from the table.
"I'll be damned. They actually have burgers in this time period. I thought that they would have some gruel or some nasty shit like that," T.K. remarked in mild surprise. Lynn groaned as she propped her face on one hand with a bored expression on her face.
"Ugh, this is getting boring! Come on, Lis'! Up the ante or something!?" Lynn complained up to the ceiling. She wasn't lying in that department either. There hasn't been any action since they got there.
Back in the lab…
Lisa was in her chair with a bowl of popcorn, watching the entire event unfold. She smirked as she began to type a new code. "Very well, Lynn. Let's, how you say it, turn up the heat!" Lisa mocked, pressing the enter button to increase the difficulty.
Back to the gang…
A large, ghastly troll woman with rubbish looking makeup on lumbered towards the group's table. "Oi, chaps! Have you made up your mind? If so, may I take your orders?" The troll waitress pried, holding up a notepad and a pencil.
"A ham and cheese sandwich for me. Also, add peanut butter and sauerkraut," Lincoln answered while everyone shot disgusted looks at him. Lincoln tilted his head in confusion, "What?"
"It still boggles my mind that you manage to put that down in your stomach, cuz. Anywho, I'll take a double decker cheeseburger with fries and make that burger plain," T.K. specified, closing his menu.
"A chicken and ranch salad for me, please and thank you," Lori expressed with a smile. Leni looked on her menu with squinted eyes. She scratched her head in confusion before turning to the waitress.
"Excuse me, ma'am? Is the chicken wrapped in bubble wrap or seaweed wrap? …Wait, how do you, like, wrap bubbles around a chicken? It's comple- Meeeph!"
Luna slid her hand in front of Leni's mouth with a disgruntled look. "She'll just take the chicken wrap. As for me, just fish and chips, luv," Luna ordered with a smile.
"Strawberry crepes with a side of hash browns. Speaking of, what are a pancake's go-to dance move? Crepe-walking! Ha, ha, ha, get it?!" Luan guffawed as everyone groaned while T.K. stifled his laughter.
"Ok, that was actually funny, chica," T.K. complimented as he placed his hand out. Luan happily returned the high five.
"For me, the SPICIEST meatball grinders that you can make," Lynn punctuated, rubbing her stomach hungrily.
"The rib eye steak. Also, make it very well done," Lucy asked, turning a page in her necromancer book. She started to like all the dark spells within the tome.
"A Caesar salad for me. A lady has to keep her figure after all," Lola commented, shooting everyone a cocky wink.
"Yeah, a figure that leaves you looking like a twig. Can I also have a double decker cheeseburger, but add everything to it," Lana informed while Lola growled angrily from her shot towards her.
"Um, do you have chicken fingers and macaroni and cheese?" Lily asked curiously. The troll waitress smiled at the cute girl as she nodded.
"Why yes, luv. Is that what you wanted?" The waitress asked. Lily nodded with a smile. "Alright then. I think that all the orders. Now, give us a lil bit for the food, and I'll be taking your menus now," The waitress stated, holding her hand out. Everyone except T.K. handed their menus. Meanwhile, T.K. was so fixated on the troll waitress's make up covered face that he forgot to hand his menu away. The troll waitress walked away from earshot distance.
"Ok. I may not be a chick, but isn't make up suppose to enhance one's face? Not make one look a thousand times scarier?" T.K. questioned absentmindedly. That remark earned him several slugs to the arm by the girls. "The hell!? What did I do?!" He rubbed his arm from the pain, which mostly came from Leni's punch.
"That was literally uncalled for!" Lori snarled.
"Yeah, Tee Kee!" Leni added.
"She's just trying her best, dude!" Luna vouched.
"That wasn't very nice, Kelli!" Lily pointed out angrily.
"Ok, sorry! Did I hit a friggin' nerve or somethin'?" T.K. muttered to himself in annoyance. He looked down on the table and saw that he still has his menu. He leaped over the table and followed the waitress. "Say, ma'am. You forgot a menu brochure!" T.K. called. Nearby him, a table of vicious goblins was hooting and hollering. T.K. bumped into the table, spilling one of the bigger goblin's drink. As T.K. walked away, the entire restaurant went silent from the spillage. The big goblin's face went from shocked to anger in a split second. He stood up and faced T.K.'s direction.
"Oi, tosser! What gives you the knackers to knock my mead down to the ground like that?! You got a death wish or somethin'?" The big goblin roared as T.K. stopped in his track mid step. Lincoln and the huddled together in fear for their adopted brother. T.K. turned around with a confused look.
"You talking to me?" T.K. asked, pointing to himself.
The big goblin grabbed his spiked club and slowly walked towards T.K., "Oh, so now you can't hear me!? You know, I have a half a mind to slay where you stand!" His goblin friends also stood up and follow the big goblin. T.K. backed up from the goblin horde with a feigned nervous expression.
"Oh, come on, peeps. Let's not do anything too hasty. It's just beer, that's all," T.K. brushed off, walking up to the main counter. The goblins continued their slow stalk as T.K. looked around frantically. There was a large barrel that was full of mead with a handle to release it in a cup. Beside it was a empty cup. T.K. grabbed the cup with a smirk, "Come on, fellas. Are ya sure that you don't want a pint?" T.K. asked in fake concern. There was no response as T.K. raised his arm. "Ok, have it your way!" T.K remarked, smashing the handle off as mead spewed towards the goblins. The goblin sputtered and spit from the large amounts of mead.
T.K. took off in a sprint towards a smaller goblin. He slid on his lap and stuck his foot for a sliding kick. He knocked the goblin into the air as he launched a series of jabs, hooks, and haymakers onto the unfortunate goblin. T.K. then took out his revolvers, and unloaded two rounds each. This sent the goblin flying across the room as he crashed into the table. The goblin dissipated into pixels before evaporating into thin air. "Oh, snap! This is way better than video games!" T.K. exclaimed happily, twirling his revolver. His celebration was cut short as a war cry snatched his attention; he turned to his left and saw a goblin speeding towards him with a jagged sword. Placing his revolvers away, he weaved the goblin's fierce attempted swings before clamping down on the sword with his hands. T.K. quickly tossed away the sword. The goblin meekly cover his face in fear of the upcoming beating.
"Please don't hurt me! I bruise like a wee banana, mate!" The goblin pleaded for his life. With a haymaker, uppercut, and a headbutt, T.K. gave a hard kick to the goblin's gut, making him clutch himself. T.K. turned around and placed the goblin's jaw on his shoulder. He then jumped as the goblin followed him helplessly. T.K. dropped down to his butt while the goblin dropped to his knees, sending the latter bouncing away as he crashed into another table. Back at the Louds' table, Lynn stood up with a jealous look on her face. She been dying for a fight, and T.K.'s going hog all the fun!? Not on her watch!
"Uh, uh! Cowboy here isn't going to hog all of the fight! I'm going in!" Lynn smirked, hopping onto the table. She then leaped into the air as she dove towards a goblin with a diving kick. She then jumped again for another diving kick to another goblin's face. Finally, she leaped onto a goblin's shoulder with her thighs wrapped around his neck. For a second, the goblin found it hot before Lynn began slamming her elbows onto his head. With a fierce swing of her arms and hips, Lynn sent herself and the goblin spinning wildly down to the ground. The goblin's neck snap on impact as Lynn rolled away. She turned her head towards T.K., who was shooting down more goblins. She cupped her hands around her mouth, "T.K.! 3L?!" Afterwards, she gave a smirk with lidded eyes.
T.K. turned around towards her with a confused look. He thought about it before realizing what she meant. "Ooooh, 3L! I gotcha, I gotcha," T.K. smirked darkly. He quickly rolled into position in front of Lynn. A goblin was charging the two with a battle axe. T.K. dodged the swing and went for his legs. He grabbed the goblin's legs and lifted him up. Lynn jumped and placed the goblin's jaw on her shoulder. The two slammed the goblin in a flapjack-cutter combo. As the goblin dissipated, the two slapped each other high fives.
"Nice one, dude!" Lynn complimented happily, performing more elaborate high fives with T.K. The celebration soon ended as more goblins rushed inside and surrounded them with every weapon in the book to manslaughter them. Both of their eyes widened at the mere sight of the goblins.
"SOS! Backup! Help us now!" T.K. screeched madly, jumping and waving his hands at Lincoln and the girls. Everyone quickly made their way towards the two. Lincoln shoulder charged one goblin away, while Luna strummed a energy music note to blast some goblins in front of her. Lana commanded S.H. to use his tongue to wrap some more goblins up and fling through the window. Soon, the restaurant was somewhat cleared out as Lincoln and the girls joined T.K and Lynn in the middle. "Finally! Took you long enough!" T.K. remarked impatiently, taking his revolvers out.
Lori shot him a fierce glare, "Excuse me, but weren't you the one that literally instigated the fight!?"
"One, I'm a man of action, and two, that's not the point!" T.K. snapped angrily. Luna whistled for the two's attention. She then pointed towards the goblin horde.
"I swear that you two dudes argue like old married couples. If you don't mind focusing on these goblin dudes will ya!" Luna demanded in frustration. The big goblin blew a war horn and pointed at the group.
"Sic 'em, mates!" The big goblin demanded fiercely. One goblin charged towards Lincoln with a war hammer. Lincoln raised his sword defensively as the goblin goes for a mighty swing. He was knocked back by the goblin's strength, making tracks with his feet. The goblin swung again as Lincoln narrowly dodged it. Rearing his sword back, Lincoln swung with all of his might. He sliced the goblin horizontally in two. The goblin then evaporated from the simulation. Lincoln looked his left and his eyes widened in fear. "T.K., on you left!" Lincoln shouted frantically, pointing at a incoming goblin on T.K.'s left.
T.K quickly turned and shot the goblin in his knee, immobilizing him. "Thanks!" T.K. retorted in appreciation. He then glared at the goblin and pointed his revolver at the goblin. "Last words?" T.K. asked, cocking back the hammer. The goblin gave a sheepish smile.
"Mercy?" The goblin answered hopefully; however T.K….
BANG!
The goblin flopped to the ground as T.K. blew away the smoke from the barrel. "Mercy? Sorry, fresh out," T.K. grinned evilly.
Lori backed into a wall as five goblins surrounded her. The goblins licked their lips as Lori quivered in fear.
"Oi, luv! Betcha got a real lover, eh? Such a shame that you going to be all of our wives." One goblin declared.
'Wait, what?" Lori asked with a blank stare. The goblins laughed in response, pushing and shoving each other.
"Beautiful and brainless! The whole package! We gotta good one, mates!" Another goblin acknowledged as everyone cheered in agreement. Lori growled from the remark as a cold wind blew through the restaurant.
"How…how dare you disrespect me like that!? I'm not a slut that you can literally pass around for days on end!" Lori exclaimed angrily, her voice sounding deep and distorted. Her eyes turning a frozen light blue. The cold wind picked even more as snow and ice build up on Lori's hands. The goblins huddled together in fear as Lori began to levitate. "The only person that will be the one to bear my many children is Roberto Alejandro Martinez-Millan Luis Santiago, Jr.!" She form a small portal and pointed her finger towards the goblins. Out came the portal were three giant ice golems that oddly enough looked like Bobby. They wore fearsome glares as they cracked their knuckles. They all chased the five goblins out of the restaurant as the sounds of hitting and screaming can be heard. Lori floated back to the ground as she turned back to normal. She looked at her hands in shock and gave a small chuckle. "Hey, that was kinda fun!" Lori remarked happily. She then noticed that T.K. and Lincoln were each on her side with shit eating grins.
"Tol-" T.K. started as Lori reverted to her blizzard form in a split second.
"FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I'LL LITERALLY FREEZE BOTH OF YOUR NUTS OFF!" Lori threatened with pure rage. Lincoln and T.K. backed off of her with sheepish looks.
Leni looked around with a confused look, unknowingly hitting the incoming goblins with the flat side of her great axe. "I'm confused. Which group is the bad guys again?" She asked, turning to her left.
SMACK!
Leni pouted as everyone was busy with their own problems. "Guyyyyys, I'm serious! Who should I focus on!?" Leni whined, stomping the ground with one foot. The tremors caused the goblins to accidently hit each other with their own weapons. Leni noticed a morning star on the ground. She picked up, whacking another goblin on the way. "Excuse me anyone? Who's weapon is this?" Leni asked, swinging absentmindedly and knocking away more goblins.
"Oi, little girl! Cough up whatever is in that basket and we might just spare you," A goblin promised as he and two more goblins surrounded Lily. Lily clutched her stuffed bunny close to her with a scared look. The stuffed bunny began to rumble and shake with life and vigor as Lily let go of it. The stuffed rabbit grew as big as T.K. with claws and fangs as it glared at the goblins. "W-what I mean to say that we're going to go and-"
Lily held her hand out, pausing the goblin. She then gave an evil grin that rivaled one of Lola's, "Bun-Bun…SIC 'EM!" Lily ordered darkly. Bun-Bun roared loudly as he pounced the three goblins; he slashed, chomped, and walloped the goblins into submission.
"Hey, what did the lustful maiden said to the handsome archer? You make me quiver! HA, HA, get it?!" Luan joked, shooting a arrow to a incoming goblin. She quickly pulled out another arrow for the goblin sailing through the air towards her, "What did the archer make out of his bow? A bow tie! HA!" She shot another to the mid air goblin's head. Luan aimed behind herself for another shot. "Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? She missed," Luan deadpanned, witnessing the ire of Lori, Leni, Lola, Lana, and Lily.
"Hey!" They all whined. Luan chuckled and gave a wink towards them.
"Just kidding!" Luan assured. Luna just shook her head with a smirk. She strummed more energy notes, blasting the goblins to smithereens.
"Oh yeah, welcome to the jungle! We like to play fun and games, hob knockers!" Luna shouted cockily.
An injured goblin crawled towards the big goblin.
"Boss, we've got to get out of here! They're picking us apart!" The little goblin screamed, tugging at the big goblin's leg. In the midst of this, Lola was riding with Lana on S.H., stabbing every goblin with her rapier. The big goblin watched as Lucy commanded a group of zombies to tear a goblin to shreds. The big goblin hardened his glare, "Never! We goblins never turned tail and run! That's what my father lived by, that's what my father's father lived by, and that's what my-"
THUD!
Another injured goblin landed in front of the two goblins. They looked down to the goblin before looking towards the Louds, who were together and held their weapons threateningly.
"Alright! The jig is down! You're at the end of your spool! Are you going to strive or orbit!?" Leni threatened, gripping her great axe. Everyone turned to her with flabbergasted looks.
"What!?" Everyone asked. Leni lowered her axe with a confused look.
"Wait, I did said it right, did I?" Leni pried with a tilt of her head. The big goblin growled loudly, attracting everyone's attention.
"Can someone translate!? I'll be up al-"
BANG!
The big goblin slowly fell down to the ground. T.K. blew the smoke away while holstering the gun. "Let's see: The jig is up, you're at the end of your rope, and are you going to fight or flight. Am I right?" T.K. wondered, turning towards Leni with a look of expectance.
"Uh huh!" She answered, nodding rapidly. She then began to noticed that she was dissolving into pixels like the goblins. "Guys, I think we're turning into computer speck thingys again!" Leni warned, frantically waving her arms.
"I guess that Lisa is pulling us out of the world," Lincoln noted as he dissolved into pixels. T.K. and everyone else dissolved into the air and back into the real world.