Note: This is an entirely new story idea by me; however, the rate of uploads for Loud and Proud will be low since I'm working on this. So, LnP will be on a semi hiatus until I can get this done. To be honest, I'm getting bored with writing episode after episode and I don't to keep you guys waiting on my slacking. It ain't right of me for y'all have to suffer. Now I present to you, Swapped!
Note 2: This story is a self insert story. If you don't like this type of story, DO NOT READ! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Swapped
Sleep. The gateway to help you escape from the repetitive turmoils of life: where is school is torturing you with homework, your boss at work constantly screaming at you for reasons unknown or he just being a grade A dick, or finally your S.O. breathing down your neck in suspicion about you being with another bastard or bitch. For me, it took the word 'escape' to a whole other level. Alright, enough rambling. Let's get to it.
Late at night, I was tossing and turning on my grandmother's floor, completely tired from the day's affairs. It sucked being a senior and especially sucked since I don't have a car. Thank you mama for being a top notch parent. I smacked my lips in thirst; that's what I get for eating Ritz crackers. Sitting up, I stood up and hopped off the bed. …Wait a sec? A bed? Since when did Shell get another air mattress? The only one who had one was my momz. "Look, worry about that later. Go get some water," I ordered in my head. I slowly lumbered to left and kept going and going and going and-
THUD!
Instead of walking into the kitchen, I tripped on some damn steps. …Wait, steps? I thought Shell's house was a one story. "Ah! The hell?!" I questioned in irritation, rubbing my chin. I slowly felt my way up the stairs because I'll possibly kill myself running upstairs. At the top of the stairs, I felt around for the doornknob. Grasping it, I turned and opened the door. Shell, I going to have a talk with you about…the…re…location. My eyes widened at the change of scenery. With the fridge and oven, I was in a kitchen; however, it AIN'T my grandmother's! Also, it wasn't dark outside either. From the sun's position, I guess, and that's a ballpark guess, it's around 9:00 in the morning. On my right, there was a kiddie table that was a little messy. On my left, there was a door with a-
"Oh, Lance! What a pleasant surprise! You didn't tell that you were coming home for the summer. Oh, the kids are going to be happy to see you," A female voice remarked in a motherly tone. A pale blonde haired middle-aged woman with the widest hips that I ever seen was in front of a oven, cooking a huge assortment of breakfast. Seriously, she look like she can crush watermelons with those thighs. She wore a salmon colored bathrobe with white slippers. It took a second to realize that the Lance that she was referring to was me. She turned her head to give me a warm smile.
"Uh, yeah? Who are you again, ma'am?" I questioned in confusion. The woman chuckled as she placed the bacon on a napkin covered plate and placed it on the table. Suddenly, a surge of pain rushed through my head as felt…a vision coming. …The hell is this, That's so Raven!?
A crowd of people was huddled around a teenage girl, jeering and laughing at her. Tears on her eyes streamed down her face and her fists trembled in anger.
I shook my head to pull myself away from my vision. "Honestly, Lance. Gone for five months at the community college and you already forgot about dear ole Mom?" The woman asked in mock hurt. She placed a five varieties of eggs on the kiddie table before coming back to get the rest of the breakfast. Wait a fucking minute…Community college!? One: I haven't even finished signing up for Panola, and two is that I haven't finished high school yet. This lady must be smoking somethin' heavy because I'm not her son. My actual mom is a smoking induced, smart assed bum; this woman was way too nice and too chilled. I began to stand up in order to set this woman straight until I looked down at my hands. …..WHAT!? My-my hands were fair skinned, just like my supposed mother. I began to tremble in pure fear until 'Ma's voice snapped me out of it. "Sweetie, it everything ok?" 'Ma' asked in concern, poking her head through the kitchen doorway.
I hid my trembling hands in my shorts pockets. "Everything's good, ….ma. May I be excuse to the bathroom? …Speaking of, where is it again? I was gone for five months after all," I recalled in mock confusion. 'Ma' chuckled to herself before pointing to the ceiling.
"Go upstairs and go all the way to the left. It's the last door at the end of the hallway, sweetie." 'Ma' informed, resuming her task afterwards. I dashed through the living room, being careful to not trip over anything. I then traveled upstairs two steps at a time. Turning left quickly at the top, I sprinted to the door at the end of the hallway. I grabbed the knob, twisted it and opened the door. This dream have better be a fuckin' joke cause I ain't laughin' one bit! Man, I didn't do nothing for this to happen. …Although, there's that one time in sixth grade that I helped a friend cheated on the state test, but that's besides the point, damn it! I switched on the light switch after feeling the wall for it. The mirror was right in front of me; Closing my eyes, I took a step towards it.
"One…two…three!" I counted, opening my eyes to my reflection. The mirror showed a fair skinned adult male. My black taper fade haircut was changed to a dark golden blonde shaggy boy band haircut. My poor excuse of a five o' clock shadow was a mere dark golden goatee. The only things that I recognize were my dark brown eyes and the gap in the middle of my teeth. The weirdest thing about this was not the fact that my body pulled a fuckin' Michael Jackson. It was the was the fact that I looked like something out of a cartoon. My body retained its average build while my arms and legs looked like thick noodles. A thick, black outline wrapped all over my body, finishing my cartoony look. Based on my new look, I gave the perfect reaction for this type of situation.
"WHAT THE FUCK!?" I yelled in frantic surprise. I fell to my ass as I tried to make sense of everything. Ok, I somehow teleported or transported to an alternate dimension while looking like something out of a Sunday comic. That's doesn't begin to cover-
"Lancelot, watch your mouth!" A deep male voice warned loudly. How the hell?! How did he hear me? I looked around and found a hole in the floor. Maybe that's how he heard me. As I pondered this, I didn't hear a pitter patter of steps rushing to the door. The door burst opened, scaring the shit out me.
"Who's in here?! Big bro?" Another male voice called out, turning his head to the left before turning towards me. His voice reminded me of a squeaker that you meet in a random online room. The kid looked like he's no older than… eleven. He had the same shade of skin as I did. His lanky build suggested that he didn't get out often. Orange pajamas fitted him snugly. For some odd reason, he has white hair with a serious cowlick. He also had a chipped buck tooth, reminding me of Timmy Turner. The boy took one good look at me before gasping excitedly, eyes sparkling like a anime character. He then wrapped his arms around me for the biggest hug that I ever received.
"Lance, you really are home! I'm so glad! In fact, I bet that everyone will be glad too!" The boy predicted happily, pulling on my arm to follow him. He dragged me out to the middle of the hallway and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Hey, everyone! Lance's home from college!" He yelled, projecting his voice to the five doors. As soon as he finished that sentence, the doors opened. Ten female heads popped out, most of them wearing wearing wide eyed expressions. Wait a fuckin' minute. …TEN SISTERS AND ONE BROTHER!? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT I NOW HAVE ELEVEN SIBLINGS!? THEIR PARENTS ARE THE TRUE DEFINTION OF NO CHILL! As I tried to wrap this around my head, Albino tugged at my arm. "Hey, Lance? Are you ok? You don't look to good," He pointed out with a worried look.
I shook the utter shock out of my system to address the numerous females in my vicinity. "Sooooo…how it going, gi-UGH!" That was all I could get out before I was bum rushed by the nine EXTEMELY excited girls.