Chapter 6: Boundary Setting
It was already well past nine by the time Callie trudged downstairs the next morning. She was grateful that Lena had already left for work and that the other kids had gone to Mike's last night so she didn't have to face them. They had come home after she had fallen asleep and gone to school while she was still in bed. Callie felt a pang of guilt as she realized she had no idea what she would say to Jude if he were to ask why she had gotten suspended from school.
"Hey sleepyhead!" Stef called as she made her way into the kitchen from the living room, "About time, I'm starving. Come help with breakfast."
"Okay. What're you making?" Callie asked, glancing worriedly at the woman. It was always Lena who headed the hot breakfasts while Stef usually coordinated fruit and cereal.
"Uh-uh-uh, don't you give me that look! Your Mom can cook some things too, you know. You kids just never give me a chance to showcase my strengths." Stef didn't want to say it, but she was still smarting from Callie's revelation that Colleen was a terrible cook just like her and she wanted to redeem herself.
"Cause we don't want to get sick," Callie teased, ducking as a rag flew at her head.
"Just for that, you're on dish duty, missy!" The cop revelled in these moments when she was able to catch a glimpse of Callie as a carefree teenager who would joke and laugh without restraint.
It was a side of her that rarely emerged when she was with Jude. Around the young boy, Callie was almost always reserved and serious, ever ready to drop into the parent role in order to protect him. Stef and Lena had been diligently trying to draw some distance between the Callie and Jude in order to nurture a more typical sibling relationship; however, the habits were deeply entrenched.
"ACE-wiches," Stef replied. "How does that sound?"
"Good." Callie couldn't help but smile to herself, surprised that the woman had remembered. A few months ago, Stef had offered her a bite of an open-faced avocado, cheese, and egg toast. Proudly dubbed the "ACE-wich", no one else in the family, not even Lena the health nut, would go near it.
Callie hadn't had much avocado before given its high price and definitely not in a form other than guacamole but she had been curious. In the short time Stef had went to get a refill on her coffee, Callie had gone on autopilot, polishing well over half of it—much to her chagrin and the disgust of the rest of the family.
"Perfect," Stef replied. "Enjoy yourself because it'll be the most excitement you'll be having in three weeks, missy," she deadpanned as Callie froze, left to wonder if there had been any teasing behind the words.
Soon they were standing side by side, Stef frying the eggs and Callie grating the cheddar. While Stef was still feeling pressure from the unexpected time she had to take off work, her resentment towards Lena had evaporated and she welcomed the opportunity to bond with Callie over a normal activity.
Since the teen had begun to test the limits they set out for her, Stef realized with disappointment that the majority of their interactions lately had become strained. It seemed like all they did was fight and all she did was discipline Callie. Any time she could spend with Callie to show her that their love for her was unconditional, no matter what sort of trouble she got in, would be well worth the legwork.
Out of the corner of her eye, Stef saw Callie halve the avocado before quartering it, then splitting up one quarter between the two toasted pieces of bread. She had forgotten how cautious Callie was when it came to saving food, another habit that had gotten reinforced from being in foster care.
"I must have missed the memo that avocados were being strictly rationed," Stef teased as she lovingly nudged Callie in the arm. "I demand at least a quarter on each toast!"
"Oh, sorry…I guess I thought this way we could have ace-wiches together three more times. We have enough bread left to do it." Callie was meek but hopeful in her explanation as she pointed to the six remaining slices of bread she had counted.
"Cal, honey, you don't have anything to apologize for. That's a great idea," the cop said gently as she turned the burner off and steered the girl by the shoulder so they could face each other.
"But I'm famished and if I have seconds today because you skimped on the avocado spread, your plan will be foiled," Stef winked, wondering what she could say to alleviate Callie's insecurity with food.
"It's alright. We can buy more avocados if we finish this one. It's not going to be wasted if we eat it and it makes us happy and healthy, right?" she encouraged, finally receiving a small smile in return.
As the both of them ate in silence, Callie felt her anxiety slowly beginning to build a pit in her stomach. She was not at all looking forward to having the conversation Stef had alluded to last night, nor did she understand why they needed to talk more than they already had. After all, Stef and Lena had already given her consequences for what she had done yesterday.
The girl's nervous demeanour did not go unnoticed by Stef, who became slightly humoured as she watched Callie intently. The teen kept fidgeting and for the third time now, she had glanced up only to quickly look down when the cop met her gaze. All progress with the food remaining on Callie's plate had ceased and she had suddenly taken to eating at a considerably slow pace, at times picking up and returning the small piece of crust without taking a bite.
Stef fought the urge to both shake and shake her head at Callie. She wasn't entirely sure which of the two feelings was winning out at this point. The teen was so determined and brave to do exactly as she wanted, regardless of the rules she would flout in the process. That is, until she came face to face with the repercussions and there would be no longer any trace of the same girl.
But seeing just how small and apprehensive Callie appeared, the cop felt an overwhelming sense of sympathy; the teen was still insecure and afraid of what might happen. Stef debated whether she should skip the lecture for now and take Callie on the drive her and Lena had discussed, knowing there might be a better chance to engage her if they weren't sitting directly across from each other. However, given how slowly breakfast was going, it did not seem like a feasible option at the moment.
"Is this the first time you've tried smoking marijuana?" Stef finally asked Callie, afraid of what the answer might be.
"Yeah," Callie admitted. Though she remained focused on her plate, Stef could see the girl's shoulders stiffen as if to brace herself for whatever would come her way.
"And how was it?" Stef inquired casually. For the first time since they had sat down, Callie looked up and made eye contact with her.
"Huh?" Callie said, balking at the question. She was unsure of whether she wanted to get into this discussion with a cop.
Stef sighed. "Excuse me. You meant to say excuse me!" she implored as Callie gazed at her sheepishly.
"Well?" she pressed when Callie only shrugged and looked down at her toast.
"I dunno, more relaxed, I guess? Tired, too."
"You were looking for a way to manage how you felt over the assignment?" Stef asked, desperate to engage Callie in some way as she gave an imperceptible nod. Of course it was a way to cope. And the thought terrified the cop because she knew it meant there was a greater chance Callie would keep it up and could eventually get hooked.
"Honey, you know better than to get high and buzzed because you're upset," she said. "We've told you time and time again that if something is wrong, no matter how insignificant you think it might be or how much you doubt we'd be able to help, you need to come to us. So we can figure it out together."
Stef paused, wondering if Callie would accept what she was saying. "Otherwise, you're just running away from the problem until it gets out control and catches up with you. And that's what happened here. You could have told us about the assignment last week and Mama would have asked your teacher for a different one for you, and it would have been the end of that."
"Thank you," she added tiredly, "for not driving around with Wyatt after you two smoked and drank. Marijuana can increase reaction time which makes driving very dangerous. And even more dangerous when you're boneheaded enough to combine it with alcohol which, by the way, is illegal at your age."
"Yes but—," Callie began to protest.
"But nothing!" Stef suddenly became harsh, frustrated Callie would try to argue with her when already in deep trouble with her.
"There was open beer in the car, yes?"
"Callie, when I ask you a question I expect an answer," she said sternly as the teen glared at her, the tides turning.
The woman took a deep breath. She needed to ignore Callie's refusal to acknowledge her for now so she could move onto the issue of cigarettes, which her and Lena couldn't fully agree on how to handle. If Stef had things her way, she would've dragged Callie into the garage to force her to chain smoke the remaining cigarettes, knowing it would make her feel terrible. It was what her father had done when he discovered her smoking in the tenth grade and she never touched another one. Lena had refused, though, citing a health violation. So they had ended up deciding on something different.
"You're bootlegging smokes too and we need to talk about that. Last time you got caught skipping you had an almost empty pack on you and now you have another, so it's becoming more of a problem than just one or two cigarettes," Stef calmly stated as she presented the facts and Callie rolled her eyes.
"So the next time we find out you're smoking, you and I will be making a little trip down to the bank."
"Huh?" Callie blurted, having fully expected the lecture to continue but not not understanding where the cop could possibly be going with this.
Stef remained pokerfaced although she nearly smiled in amusement at Callie's bewilderment. "The money you're foolishly spending to coat your lungs, sweetheart. We know it's in your room because you're too young to have a bank account," she bluffed, crossing her fingers under the table that her instincts were right.
"Next time we find cigarettes on your person, we're confiscating the cash," she warned, as the teen swallowed nervously, confirming her suspicions.
"W-what? But you can't do that!" Callie balked. "You can't steal!"
"We absolutely can," Stef responded matter-of-factly. "It's not stealing if you hand it over willingly."
"Listen, Callie. We'll help you set up a bank account so you can deposit the cash," the cop explained, trusting the teen had the sense to know the funds were safer with the bank than hidden in a room.
"The bankcard will stay with Mama and I and your money will remain untouched. We will give you an allowance for lunches or whatever else you want to buy. But you'll need to have our permission because it'd be our money."
She saw the teen's eyes widen as the idea percolated and she realized an allowance would mean she wouldn't have to carefully spend her parents' emergency cash that she was clever enough to retrieve before Bill came to take her and Jude away. And Stef could see that Callie wanted it.
But the woman also sensed the mistrust the teen held towards them that they wouldn't give her her bankcard or would withdraw every penny, which would be easy since their names would be on the account. It was how Stef had intended: Callie saw her threat as punishment, but for the women, it was an exercise in trust. The first step in moving Callie towards allowing herself to be taken care of.
"I need you to go to class, Callie, that's part of the terms of your probation. You can't be doing stuff like this and getting suspended. This and the missed classes are already going to appear in the quarterly report the school sends to the youth Parole Officer so he may want a word with us," Stef chastised.
"I got it, okay? I won't do it again," Callie replied flippantly, causing the cop to raise her eyebrows.
Stef knew the teen was trying her best to end the conversation but she wasn't ready to back down just yet. "What's gotten into you, Callie, what's behind all of this?" Stef begged, softening her tone and resting her elbows on the table so she could lean forward to get a better read of the girl.
"Talk to me, baby. You were doing so well."
Callie shrugged. "Nothing, okay! Can this be over?!" She wasn't going to make it easy for Stef, knowing that the cop was trying to direct her conversation beyond just the latest incident.
"School is important, Callie, and not just for the sake of staying out of trouble. You have a lot of potential—" Stef stopped to glare at the girl who rolled her eyes.
"You have a lot of potential and a lot of doors will open for you if you just keep focused and doing what you're supposed to. We want to see you go off to college and chase after something you're interested in. Don't you want to make something of yourself?"
Her attempt to deliver some motivation was interrupted by the sullen teen. "Don't you get it?" Callie asked in annoyance, "Jude and I aren't like you or your kids!"