Chapter 17: Fury, Evoked

Callie's stomach dropped as she recognized the distinct, purposeful steps against the pavement that unmistakably belonged to Stef. Wiping her clammy hands against her jeans, she braced herself for the altercation that would soon ensue. While Callie hadn't run away since coming to live with Stef and Lena, she was perceptive enough to understand that the cop would be livid. In no uncertain terms, she was screwed.

"I know for a fact that Mom is happy to have you home, too," the cop overheard Lena, continuing her efforts to persuade Callie out of the cruiser. "She would love to see you, honey."

"Well I don't want to talk to her," Callie muttered, before turning her head away.

As the petulant response made its way back to where she was standing, Stef felt her blood pressure rise. Her initial relief that the situation had ended as favourably as it could have was fading quickly with the realization that there was still a ways to go before she could even start thinking that things were all right. They were currently nowhere near being all right.

When she had first learned Callie had run from Mike, she had sympathized, understanding that the teen must have been upset to not have wanted to come home. But seeing how Callie had behaved with both Mike and Lena, she couldn't help but to become frustrated over what she saw as dogged attempts to avoid facing the consequences of her actions. Repeated warnings and being consistent in their approach hadn't dissuaded the girl from continuing to make choices with reckless abandon. However, as soon as Callie found herself knee deep in the quagmire, she would stall, avoid, and fight—grasping at straws to get out being punished. It was an entirely aggravating and exhausting process that had, for the past week, seemed to be on an infinite loop.

Not wanting to stoke the flames, Lena ignored the comment and instead looked to her wife for guidance. However, Stef only responded by turning both her palms out at her side. "What do you want me to do?" she mouthed as she slowly shook her head in exasperation.

The cop immediately felt guilty for how she responded when Lena's face fell. At the same time, she couldn't help her resentment. Whenever Lena failed to make progress with Callie by taking a more patient, gentle direction, she was the one tasked with getting the teen to cooperate and to rein in the behaviour.

Plus, she hadn't been trying to be rude. Other than her and Mike physically removing the girl from the car, which was not an acceptable idea to her, she genuinely didn't know what to do. The only thing Stef was certain about was the very limited time they had before Mike's shift ended and the cruiser was due back at the precinct. Before Roberts would give the third degree about the unplanned overtime and they would have to come up with another plausible explanation.

It was one of those situations where telling the truth was an option but would be problematic. Given that they were already contending with a school suspension and truancy, yet another citation for running away would automatically add to her record and alert both her Parole Officer and Bill. Stef cringed inwardly as she imagined the hell that would break loose if there was a fight between the Department of Social Services and the Department of Corrections over whether Callie should be remanded into custody.

If that happened, Bill had vowed to fight on her and Lena's behalf to see the adoption through. The three of them were always in agreement that the only argument for juvie was based on black and white policies—not those that accounted for Callie's successes in her current environment and what would be in her best interest to help her thrive, rather than merely focus on survival.

Finally, Lena motioned for Stef to switch places with her—but not without directing a pointed glare her way. It was a look that the cop had become especially well-acquainted with in their co-parenting relationship—the one that warned that now was not the time to be right, so zip it. Noting the time again, Stef couldn't agree more. She definitely had her work cut out and knew she would need to rely on her crisis intervention skills more than ever to prevent things from escalating so she and Mike could get done what they needed: to convince the teen to leave the car so that it could be returned. Unfortunately, those very skills tended to go missing when she needed them the most, which was usually with her children.

Stef opened the door as wide as it would go and crouched by the hinge. From this position, she was able to facilitate some eye contact while keeping a good enough distance so she wouldn't come across as threatening. She had suspected from what she had overheard and what Mike had said that Callie was afraid of her reaction.

Allowing silence to settle in between them, she observed her daughter, who was slouched and chewing on the straw of her drink container in nervous agitation.

"I am so glad you're home. I missed you," Stef said, keeping her tone soft. If she had learned anything these last few months of having Callie and Jude, it was that dropping her volume was almost just as effective as raising her voice in making sure they focused on what was being said. This was one thing she really needed Callie to hear. That no matter what happened, she still loved and wanted her.

"Don't you doubt that even for a second," Stef emphasized as soon as she saw the dubiousness flicker across the teen's face.

"Can you tell me what happened?"

Unsure of what she could say that would be acceptable in that moment, Callie shrugged a typical non-response and took a shuddering breath as she withdrew her gaze.

Recognizing that she was just going to end up spinning her wheels and wouldn't be getting anywhere anytime soon, the woman reached out to squeeze the girl's upper arm in an attempt to draw her attention back to the present. "It's alright," she retracted, "We don't have to talk right now if you don't want to."

"The most important thing is that you're okay."

Concern turned to confusion as she saw Callie's crestfallen demeanour do a one-eighty, darkening into a sulky frown. Realizing she had somehow triggered the teen and not wanting a fight to derail her and Mike's plans, the cop quickly backtracked.

"Hey. Hey…" Stef whispered, trying to keep her own panic at the urgency of the situation at bay. "Chin up. Everything is going to be okay." It was obviously not the right thing to say either, she learned, when Callie rolled her eyes and she caught a better glimpse of the quiet fury within the girl.

"Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night," Callie smart-mouthed under her breath. From the corner of her eye, she noticed Stef's eyes widen in surprise. Though clever enough to know she was already in deep trouble with her foster moms and battling her own fear of getting into more, she was furious. How many times had the cop dismissed her that day alone, saying that everything would be okay?

Okay was not how she would describe how therapy had unfolded.

Okay was not at all how she felt.

Things were not okay and she was finding it hard to believe how they would ever be.

Stef's muscles tensed, physiologically bracing her for the entire situation to implode as she issued the mild reproof and raised her eyebrow slightly as a warning. "Not acceptable, love. You know that."

"Come on. It's time to come inside," Stef directed, hoping to deflect from the brewing conflict. She couldn't help but feel hurt as Callie stiffened under her reach as she went to undo the seatbelt. But it was when she tried to maneuver the girl's arm out of the shoulder harness that her efforts derailed; wrenching her arm away, she rotated her body to challenge the cop even as she leaned back into the centre of the back row.

"Callie. Please, do not do this right now," the cop pleaded. She dropped her voice into as placating a tone she could manage given her increasing frustration with a situation she perceived to be quickly slipping out of her control. The pressure of trying to get Callie inside of the house was overwhelming and all she could think of was how all their efforts would be for nothing if Mike was late bringing the car back.

"The worst is already over, love. The hardest part was coming home and you've already done that."

Noticing the all-too familiar look of obstinacy flit across her young daughter's face, she just knew. Things were precarious. A fight was almost guaranteed at this point.

"Callie…" she uttered cautiously, hoping it'd be enough of a warning to dissuade her from continuing to be uncooperative. For she, too, was barely holding it together and didn't know how much more she could take.

"Um, no. That was not the hardest part," she retorted. "The hardest part was asking you not to see Dr. Wiseman and you made me anyway. You said she wouldn't make me talk about stuff I didn't want to and you made me talk about it anyways!" Callie's voice wavered as she remembered how Stef had forced the truth on one of the questions. How it had given the doctor an opening and culminated in a reminder that her parents no longer existed.

"You left me alone in there with her," the girl said bitterly, glowering at Stef as each word spoken left her more infuriated than the last. She no longer cared she was digging herself deeper—that there would be hell to pay for it, and that she was disappointing Stef and Lena even more by doing so.

"Even though I asked—no—begged you not to! You screwed me over again and again!"

It was confirmation that Callie was upset at not having her around at a time she needed someone there the most. "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. That was not my intention at all," she apologized in a soothing tone. "I was only trying to help."

"You helped HER!" the girl shouted, furiously blinking back the hot tears that were threatening to fall. The hand with which she was holding the drink container had begun to clench, causing it to crease. "Not ME! HER!"

Although Stef was taken aback by the pure fury being directed at her, Callie's quivering lower lip was indication of just how hurt and miserable she was. She wished she could climb into the car—either to wrap the teen into a hug to provide some comfort, or to drag her out so she could focus on Callie fully without her anxieties over the looming what-if's.

"I know, love. I overstepped. I was wrong and I'm sorry," she said, hoping the conciliatory gesture would be enough to defuse some of the anger.

"There's a lot to sort out, I know, and I promise—there will be plenty of time for us to discuss all of this. I promise you that we will have a long talk about everything," Stef said, continuing her efforts to calm the teen. Forcing herself to close her eyes and take a deep breath, she reiterated, "But we are not going to do this out here."

"Why not?" Callie shot back as she crossed her arms in a huff.

As her patience began to fray, Stef pinched the bridge of her nose. "Callie," she said a little more firmly, finding it difficult to keep her voice down any longer. "This is not up for discussion. Please watch your attitude and make a good choice that I know you are capable of."

"The only thing that is going to happen right now is you heading straight to your room to calm down. Then we're going to sit down to have the dinner that Grandma so kindly ordered for us and have a chat," Stef continued sternly as the teen fumed.

Callie absolutely resented the fact that talking always had to be on Stef's terms, regardless of whether she was ready or if she wanted to. It was exactly what had happened with Dr. Wiseman. Although she knew better than to lie, she hadn't meant any maliciousness by it—she had been trying to answer the questions in a way that would let her off the hook so she wouldn't have to talk about things she didn't want to. She could've held her own but wanted Stef there for support. Instead, the woman had interfered in her usual controlling manner and demanded the truth from her.

But now that Callie was ready to give her a piece of her mind, the cop didn't want to talk because it wasn't convenient for her. It was infuriating, and she found her aggravation only escalating as she struggled to find the words to speak her feelings. On top of that, the grogginess and heartburn weren't helping; her heart was pounding a mile a minute as it always did when she napped from unintentionally falling asleep in the ride home and the fast food she had binged on sat high in her best.

The combination of feelings made her want to scream at and break everything in her vicinity.

"Well it's gonna be a lot of you and Lena just talking to yourself then," she mumbled under her breath.

"Love! Stop…"

"—No! You stop! Stop telling me what to do! You don't just get to boss me around when you don't even listen to me!"

"Okay, sweetheart. You need to calm down. You're only getting worked up," Stef warned in a way that left little room for negotiation.

"I am listening but I will only tell you one more time that we are not doing this out here," she said in an undertone. She was trying desperately to reel things in as they escalated but she knew in her heart of heart's that they were in trouble now because the fight had clearly not left the teen yet. In fact, it looked like she was getting started.

"No you're not! You're not, Stef! I don't want to talk to you anymore!" she screamed, louder than she had ever did with either of the women. In frustration, she pitched the drink container against the pavement.

Observing the teen's every move, Stef sprang to her feet and side-stepped out of the way before the plastic lid got knocked off, spraying its contents. As Callie tried to take the opportunity to slam the door shut, the cop pushed her body in the space between the car and the door, putting a kibosh on the plan.

Just like that, her patience was gone. She had been in a blind panic for most of the day over this kid who had the gall to be disobedient and obstinate after everything that had transpired. Callie had tested her patience all morning, run away twice, and was now effectively jeopardizing their plan to help her. The cop was at the end of her rope. But more acute were her feelings of failure as the situation began to unravel before her eyes—before her spouse, ex-husband, and probably their entire block by now—a glaring indication of her incapability to parent.

Seeing Lena step towards them, Stef raised a palm to stop her before extricating herself from the gap and wrenching open the door. This time, Callie didn't try to fight her. The cop walked several feet away from the car before turning to face the girl, who was filled with a level of rage and insubordination she had rarely seen before.

"Out. Now," she ordered. "And if you think for a second I won't drag you out of there myself you are going to be sorely mistaken." Even as Stef issued the threat, she could see that the teen was not budging at all. She was going to make it hard for her. Worried that Callie would call her bluff, the woman knew it was time to get on the offensive.

"OUT OF THE CAR NOW!" she bellowed, causing Callie to startle and immediately jump out of the car right where Stef was waiting for her.

"Are you really choosing to go down this road again?" Stef hissed dangerously as the girl looked down at the pavement.

"Look. At. Me." When the girl shook her head, flat out refusing to acknowledge her, Stef reached out with her forefinger to lift Callie's chin. Seeing that the girl's fury had been replaced with fear, she regretted yelling; however, she was also determined not to let her to get away with refusing to listen any longer.

She began to give Callie a tongue-lashing which she felt was more than deserved at this point. "I am beyond frustrated with you, young lady. I understand that you're not happy with me right now—I get that—but you do not get to be disrespectful. You know perfectly well that the way you're acting is unacceptable."

"When we tell you to do something you do it, Callie. The first time! You do not tell Mama and I no."

"Why not?" the youth dared to backtalk as she crossed her arms. Shrugging to get out of Stef's hold, she finally looked up out of her own volition and fixed the cop with a defiant glare.

"No, I want to know," Callie challenged, seeing the woman's shocked expression as she opened her mouth to shut her down. Her voice came through uncharacteristically flat, like it had been in Dr. Wiseman's waiting room right before she had ran.

"Know what, Callie?" The cop's response was curt, exasperated. Time was a precious commodity.

"Why you need to listen to us and do as we say? Because we are your parents, that's why! Because we're looking out for what's best for you because you obviously cannot make good decisions for yourself." Stef let out a sarcastic scoff as Callie's anger boiled over once more.

"See!" the teen shouted, beside herself with frustration as she felt the tears begin to well up.

It hadn't even been the question Callie had been building up the courage to ask. She wanted to know why it was okay for them to tell her what to do without caring about how she felt. How Stef could say she knew what was best for her or what was a good decision when she was the one who was left alone feeling the ripple effects of what Dr. Wiseman had said.

Fists clenched by her sides, Callie retaliated. "You think you know everything and you push me around but you don't! You don't know nothing about what's best for me, Stef. You weren't there!"

"You don't just get to take it and say it like it meant nothing, okay? Like—like I was nothing! It wasn't your story to tell and you—you had no right!" Her voice broke as she began to cry out of sheer anger.

Tired and confused, Stef couldn't fully understand what the girl was referring to. All she knew was that Callie was still being rude and she would not have that. "That is enough. You're done acting this way, you hear? You're done."

"Uh—uh. No." She pointed her finger at Callie who had opened her mouth to argue. "You might want to reconsider pushing me right now because you are in enough trouble as is. Continue beaking off like this and I guarantee you will regret it," she said severely.

"I don't care!" Callie screamed. And she didn't. She was so hurt and in so much shit now that none of it mattered; she and Jude would probably be gone tomorrow.

"Fuck you."

"HEY! You watch your mouth! What did I just finish saying about respect?" Annoyance and irritation hitting an all time high, the woman scolded, "I do not know what has gotten into you Callie, but this behaviour needs to stop. Now!"

"I don't want to talk to you anymore! I don't…I don't want you! You are not my mom!" Callie started to break down. Though she was still upset with Lena for coming up with the whole idea in the first place, it had been the cop who cornered her and pushed her right into the lion's den. Stef was to blame—for unearthing memories, one especially that she couldn't shake that caused her to spiral into a panic. The woman was, by all intents and purposes, the enemy.

The words caught Stef completely off guard. Despite understanding that Callie was lashing out of fear and anger, the words still stung. "Honestly, I could care less what you want right now so it's too bad!" she snapped, her temper fully flaring now at the girl's obstinacy. "It's too bad that I am not done talking so you are going to have to listen."

"I get that you had a crappy day, that you're upset we made you do something you didn't want to. Well guess what—guess what? Sometimes we have to do things we don't like because it's for our own good so buck up!"

"You don't run away because you decide you don't want to do as you're told, because you didn't get your way. We had no idea where you were for almost five hours—I almost filed a missing persons report!"

"Why didn't you then?" Callie retorted. "Then you wouldn't have to deal with me anymore!"

"Because! That's not how this works!" the cop snapped, lighting into her. "You don't push our buttons and make choices you know are unacceptable, then run away when it's time to deal with the mess you made. You made some really poor choices today and you'd better believe that there will be consequences for that."

"I wasn't running away!" Callie protested tearfully, unable to look at the cop any longer. Stef didn't get it at all. She had run because it felt like she'd suffocate if she stayed. Not because she was trying to make a point about not wanting to go to therapy like the cop was accusing her of. She hadn't meant to get that far.

"Then what—what Callie—do you call the little jaunt you took down to the port, then, if it wasn't running away?"

"I was going to come back! What's it to you where I go, anyway?"

"Oh Callie, you have no idea what could have happened, do you? How wrong all of this could have turned out…"

Desperate to make her understand and struggling to keep her voice down, Stef focused all her attention on trying to spell out the risk as articulately as she could for the girl. It was the only thing she could think of doing so she wouldn't resort to shaking her. "If anyone in law enforcement had found you, anyone other than Mike or I, they would have formally apprehended you. They wouldn't have had any choice but to book you because of your record."

"Do you not see, Callie, that it would not have meant anything—it would not have meant CRAP whether you intended on coming back or not! Do you not SEE THAT?" she screamed in abject frustration, her own tears falling as she finally broke down.

"Do you want to get taken away from us? Is that what you want? Because let me tell you—keep this up and you can be damned sure that's the direction in which you're headed," Stef warned.

"So unless you want to get sent back to juvie or to a group home, you're going to get your butt inside right now. I will not tell you again."

The guilt crept in as she saw Callie immediately subdued by her words, wide-eyed at the revelation of what could have been. Nothing she said had been new to the teen, of course, but it had been the first time she had said it out loud and she questioned how appropriate the message had been.

But at the same time, seeing the fight completely dissipate from Callie, the woman felt as though she could breathe a sigh of relief. Finally, it seemed that the girl had begun to appreciate the magnitude of her actions. The cop hadn't even considered that Callie might have misunderstood the point she'd been trying to make.

A soft hiccup escaped the teen as the words sunk in, leaving her numb and hoping she had been mistaken in what she had just heard. "But you promised…" she said, her voice a whisper of disbelief. After repeated reassurances that they would be there for her no matter what she did, that they wouldn't ever think to get rid of her, Callie was sure Stef had just stated otherwise. That if she kept messing up they would have her and Jude taken from their home.

"Sweetheart, please don't argue anymore. We will talk about this later. Mom and I just need a bit of time to figure some of this out," Lena interjected—she, too, uncharacteristically missing the reason for the despondency in the girl. "Let us figure out how we're going to handle this."

There it was, Callie thought. First the ultimatum. Now, a discussion over if she had to go this time or if she could stay a little longer…for now.

"Love, please," Stef all but begged. "Please just do as you're told and stop fighting." Concerned at how disheartened her daughter looked, she embraced her tightly and gave her a peck on her forehead. Speaking softly but sternly, she quietly issued her instructions. "I want you on our bed having calmed yourself down by the time Mama and I get there. It'll be okay. You're going to be okay," Stef soothed, holding Callie just a little longer.

Little did she know that Callie had already begun to misconstrue her intentions.

Author Note:

Who did you think was more responsible for how everything went down, Callie or Stef? Who did you empathize with more? What should Stef and Lena's next steps with Callie be to address what's going on?

~b