Part 9

At first Leonardo turned rigid, too surprised to react. Raphael pressed his advantage, leaning a little harder as his brother squirmed. He knew how this worked from his own nights with Michelangelo. Raphael would grumble, Michelangelo persisted, and then Raphael would give in.

So when Leonardo pressed against him, letting him take and demanding more, Raphael smiled around the kiss.

Finally, finally, something was going right.

Until he flinched at the sharp pain spreading through his lip, wrenching back with a hiss. He tasted a tiny drop of blood and looked up in shock at his brother.

A small smear of blood stained Leonardo's lip, underscoring his wide eyes, his quickened breath that wouldn't slow down. He flicked his tongue over his lips once. Leonardo's eyes burned bright, and his rapid blinking made obvious the tears he'd been trying to hold back. But his mouth was open in clear invitation, for another kiss, another bite...probably both.

Vulnerable or not, his brother was still dangerous.

"You're turning into a real hot mess," Raphael whispered, tightening his grip on his brother's wrists. "You know that, right?"

Leonardo's look turned sullen.

"What did I do wrong?" Leonardo demanded as if his brother held answers. "What the hell did I do that was so wrong?"

"Um," Raphael said, shifting his grip as Leonardo twisted. "Let's see. Stealing things, dragging Donny into it, baiting me, busting into a damn museum..."

"Not that!"

Raphael stopped, realizing this wasn't about Fantasma. He looked down and saw that he wasn't pinning Leonardo so much as simply holding him up. Leonardo sagged against his cold armor, unable to catch his breath.

"Splinter didn't know about any of that," Leonardo growled, his voice increasingly clouded by frustration. "He said...I couldn't...that I'd couldn't..."

Raphael growled. Patience wasn't his strong suit, but holding his brother in check felt satisfying enough that he could indulge in waiting.

"Couldn't what?"

"That I couldn't put distance between me and you," Leonardo said. "That I couldn't..."

"'Distance'?" Raphael echoed. "What's that even-?"

"I don't know!"

Leonardo broke. Raphael startled at the animal sound of his brother's voice, tightening his grip so that Leonardo hissed in pain even as he spoke.

"He wouldn't say! He kept saying I was too close to you, that I was too close to all of you, and that if I couldn't keep that distance, then..."

Leonardo shook his head once, uselessly. Helplessly.

"Then I couldn't lead you."

Raphael couldn't answer. He wanted to say that Leonardo had ruined that himself, that Raphael wouldn't follow a thief and a liar. And he wanted to say that he'd force Leonardo back into shape, back into something recognizably his stuck up older brother. That if Leonardo just gave up stealing, then Splinter wouldn't have to send him away.

But that wasn't the real problem.

Splinter didn't know about the stealing, and if Raphael was honest with himself, Splinter would probably encourage Leonardo to steal from the Foot clan instead. No, this had to do with Leonardo being close to his brothers.

Too close to Donatello. Too much of a brother to Michelangelo.

And with Raphael, too much...something. Whatever this weird love hate between them was. Leonardo no longer fought, letting Raphael all but crush him against the wall. Staring up at him in vulnerable expectation. It was Raphael's move, and Leonardo waited to see what he would do.

It was a heady rush of power which Raphael didn't taste all that often. He wondered if he'd risk another kiss, that maybe Leonardo would give in—

As he bent, focused on his brother's mouth, Raphael almost didn't feel Leonardo yanking against his hand. Grunting, Raphael drove his knee between his brother's legs, forcing himself uncomfortably close even as his hands clamped tighter over Leonardo's wrists.

"S'fighting dirty," he grumbled.

"Nothing dirty in a fight," Leonardo said, unable to move, pressed as he was between the hard wall and his brother's armor. Their breath mingled as they tried to stare each other down. "'Cept the floor."

"You ain't gonna make this easy, are you?" Raphael said.

A grim smile was his answer. Somehow that made more sense to Raphael than anything else his brother had said or done. He recognized that look from his mirror. When the frustration washed over him like the walls closing in, a bloody fight could distract him. Pounding thugs made life easier to swallow. And now he saw that same desperate need in his brother's eyes, all but begging Raphael for a fight, anything, to distract him from the world.

"Don't say I didn't warn ya," Raphael muttered.

Holding his brother tight, Raphael forced him sideways. He tried to bring him down but instead he could only control their fall as they hit the rough floor. Leonardo kicked at his knees, even going so far as trying to bite Raphael's hand. Raphael snatched back and delivered a hard open palm across Leonardo's face.

"How come," Raphael grunted, struggling to grab Leonardo's wrist again, "you don't fight this dirty in front'a Splinter?"

Leonardo didn't answer, shifting on his side so he could claw at Raphael's other hand. The armor made this almost impossible. He would have needed a knife to work into the joints of Raphael's steel plating, and he hadn't tried to use any of the small shuriken on his belt.

Leonardo's attempt to free his hand worked in Raphael's favor. With a simple shift in weight, Raphael shoved Leonardo onto his front and straddled his shell. Too late, Leonardo felt what little control he had left slipping away as one hand was pulled behind his back. Steel ringed his wrist and clicked tight. Then his other hand, and Leonardo used every ounce of strength he had left to hold his free hand out, straining as it was slowly pulled down to his side.

"Quit fighting," Raphael muttered. "I'll break it, I swear I will..."

Leonardo cried out as his shoulder twisted, the same one that had been struck before. Squeezing his eyes shut, he finally slumped as pain robbed his last bit of strength. His arm was wrenched up behind his shell, and the handcuffs snapped shut around his wrist. When Raphael hauled him up to his feet, his hands were firmly locked behind his back.

Up on his feet only to be turned and pushed against the wall again. Leonardo didn't resist, still taking deep breaths. When he turned slightly to one side, Raphael punched the wall so that tiny bits of dust sifted from his knuckles. Leonardo flinched.

"Do I get beat up when I can't even block?" Leonardo murmured.

"You'd deserve it," Raphael said. He put his hand against Leonardo's chest to hold him still. "You gonna make me hit you?"

Leonardo didn't answer for a long moment, swallowing once, fighting Raphael's splayed hand to take deep breaths. His head lowered slightly.

"...no."

Raphael narrowed his eyes. His brother wasn't above lying, not in a fight. He didn't like the long shadows across Leonardo's face, making it hard to see the subtleties of his expression. Still holding his brother against the wall, Raphael reached up and put his thumb under the edge of the scarf. Slowly he pushed the black cloth back, letting it fall in a loose circle around Leonardo's neck.

He didn't let it slide off. He needed the scarf there, the reminder that his brother had broken into a museum, stealing yet again. He couldn't afford to dwell on Leonardo's shock at whatever Splinter had said to him. They'd deal with that later.

"You gonna fight me anymore?"

Raphael put his fingers under Leonardo's chin and tilted his head slowly, raising his face if not his eyes. Leonardo wouldn't look at him.

"Who knows?"

Raphael narrowed his eyes.

"Not the answer I wanna hear."

"For someone who complains about me not listening," Leonardo snapped. "You've got a real one track mind."

"Yeah, well, you still ain't listening." Raphael shook him once as if he could shake sense into him. "Why the hell did you lead me on a wild goose chase across town, huh? You could'a lost me like three times back there."

Leonardo half-smiled. "Yeah, huh?"

"What, are you trying to prove something? Being a thief ain't nothing to be proud of..."

Raphael put his hand on Leonardo's side, not willing to break eye contact as he felt for his brother's satchel. He started to frown, moving his hand up to his brother's neck, tightening in frustration as Leonardo's smile spread.

"Not proud of what I do," Leonardo said. "But maybe how I do it."

"You dumped the bag?" Raphael said. "Where—"

"Oh, don't bother," Leonardo said. "I didn't steal anything tonight."

"For fuck's sake, Leo, I watched you—"

"You saw me smash but you didn't see me grab," Leonardo said, and his tone dripped with condescension. "I didn't bring the bag."

"Then what?" Raphael said, tightening his hand around his brother's throat enough to make him wince, to wipe that damn smile off his face. "What'd you do?"

Below them, the sound of police sirens came close, wailing by as their lights colored the street. Partly hidden by the strange flurry of shadows thrown up around them, Raphael turned a darker shade of crimson and Leonardo stood outlined in foreboding blue.

"Slipped a chunk of street pavement in with the meteorites," Leonardo said, tilting his head to try to squirm out of Raphael's grip. "How long you think it'll take 'em to notice?"

Raphael stared at his brother blankly.

"You...slipped it in?"

His hand relaxed. Leonardo huffed in relief, standing more on his own two feet now. He didn't lean against Raphael anymore, obediently staying still.

"Well, there is a buyer for the Guffrey meteorite, but since I don't want to cart a seven hundred pound rock..." Leonardo shrugged.

Over Raphael's shoulder, the lights whirled beneath them. Several more police cars joined the others, accompanied by the harsh single note of the sirens on stand-by. Radios crackled in and out as the murmur of the growing crowd grew and grew. Every light in the museum was on, lighting the sky. All for a cheap prank.

"Why?"

Leonardo stared at him.

"You don't get to stay quiet," Raphael said, looming over him. "Why'd you do all this? Why'd you make sure I was following you? Why...Jesus, Leo. We can talk it out with him. It ain't the end of the world."

Leonardo didn't answer, but his eyes tightened slightly and his face settled into something like defeat. He took a long breath, lowering his face.

When he looked up again, his expression was as focused and stoic as ever. Raphael began to feel like his brother's usual expression was more of a mask than he'd realized.

"Thanks for coming after me," Leonardo said in a soft voice. "I couldn't...I didn't want to think about what he said."

That, at least, Raphael could understand. He laughed once, awkwardly.

"Hell, if you just needed to blow off steam," he started.

"No," Leonardo said, lifting up on his feet so he could press a little closer. "Not just that..."

This time the kiss was slow, hesitating. Leonardo wasn't sure if Raphael would try to crush him again, only gaining confidence as his brother held still. Leonardo put his hands on his brother's shoulders, steadying himself as he swayed.

"Too damn tall," he murmured around the kiss.

"Can't help it if you're short," Raphael said.

He broke off, leaning back, moving to put his hands on his brother's waist—

Something clanked as his right hand jerked against something cold. He looked up and found a handcuff around his wrist, the other end cicling a steel pipe affixed to the wall.

His eyes widened.

Leonardo's hands were on his shoulders.

But not anymore—his instant of realization gave Leonardo the split-second he needed to slip free, ducking his outstretched hand and backing away.

"Sorry," Leonardo said, lifting the scarf back over his face. "But I need some time alone now. To think."

Already knowing he wouldn't find it, Raphael put his hand to his built in pouches, searching for the key. He found it sparkling in Leonardo's hand.

"Don't worry," Leonardo said. "I don't plan on leaving you out here."

"You know I can break this," Raphael said, holding the chain while he yanked at the pipe. Cement dust crumbled from under the steel rivets holding the pipe against the brick.

"Eventually," Leonardo agreed.

He stepped up on the ledge, unfurling the scarf so that the long ends trailed against his side, covering him comfortably. He looked back over his shoulder at the street behind himself, noting the path he would follow, then turned to Raphael again.

In an gentle lob, he tossed the key across the roof to bounce and slide at Raphael's feet.

"I just wanted a headstart," Leonardo said.

As Raphael bent to pick up the key, Leonardo fell backward out of sight.

When Raphael reached the ledge, leaning out as if those few inches would let him see farther, his brother was gone.

When Splinter's door opened again and Donatello appeared out of the darkness, Michelangelo stood, but he couldn't bring himself to move closer. Donatello stared at the far wall, moving in a daze, and he sat down again at the kitchen table. None of the dishes had been moved, and now he pushed his half-eaten portions aside, ignoring how the plates jangled against each other, clearing a space to lay his head in his arms.

Not sure what to do, Michelangelo pulled his chair closer and sat beside him.

"Donny?" he whispered, glancing at the door to make sure they were alone. "You okay?"

Donatello buried his face farther into his arms.

"No," he said, muffled. "No, not really."

Michelangelo put his hand on Donatello's, squeezing once.

"Mikey," Donatello murmured. "Do you think I could lead you or Raph?"

Michelangelo snorted despite himself. He put his hand over his mouth almost instantly, but it didn't matter. Donatello nodded once as if that confirmed what he already thought.

"Yeah..." He sighed and sat up, head tilted as if he would crumble under sudden weight. "That's what I figured."

"Is that what Splinter called you in about?" Michelangelo asked.

"Leo didn't tell you?"

Donatello pushed himself up. He glanced around the lair, suddenly aware of the silence.

"They left?" he asked.

"Leo ran out," Michelangelo nodded. "With the scarf."

"And Raph ran out after him," Donatello said, not needing to see Michelangelo's nod to know he was right. "Dammit."

"Don'?"

"I don't want to be alone right now," Donatello said. Then winced. "I don't want to be alone for a year. I don't..."

Michelangelo's face knotted up in confusion. No one had told him anything, but what he pieced together from Leonardo running away, Donatello's broken comments and the fact that Splinter had separated them out...none of it added up to anything good. Nothing he could change, anyway.

"Do you want to-" he started.

"No," Donatello said firmly. "I don't."

He coughed once, swallowed as he steadied himself.

"I don't want to think about it. I can't. It's too much right now. Maybe later. But right now, I..."

Donatello looked up at him with large eyes. Michelangelo froze, not used to seeing that expression. Donatello was calm, rational, as steady as the machines he built. To see him grasping at nothing...

"Come on."

Michelangelo stood up, one hand on Donatello's shoulder. He motioned at the camera.

"You said you have flashlights I can use. Let's go looking around."

Donatello frowned. "You mean underground?"

"Underground, topside, wherever." Michelangelo shrugged, offering his hand. "Come on. You know they'll be out for ages. Let's head off for a bit."

Donatello looked at his hand, brow knitting as he thought about leaving. He wanted Leonardo with him, holding him, saying it would be okay somehow. And while he understood why his brother had run, he found his fist clenching that his brother couldn't wait a few minutes to talk to him. Curl up on his shoulder. Complain and vent and scheme together.

"Yeah," he said, taking Michelangelo's hand. "I'll just leave a note. Get my gear. You got good batteries in that thing?"

"Yup," Michelangelo said. "And spares. And spares for the spares. I was thinking of looking for the missing train first..."

"That's just a myth..."

Side by side, they left through Donatello's lab, gathering his toolbag, his shellcell, flashlights, enough supplies to occupy his mind as he pulled up old maps on his computer and pointed out all the likely places for a train to vanish. As much as Michelangelo wanted to ask about what Splinter had said, what Leonardo had done, instead he asked about what route Donatello wanted to take. If they would need climbing gear.

When they left, leaving a note on the table that they were off to film part one of Mikey's Urban Ninja youtube series, Donatello wasn't smiling, but he wasn't drowning under whatever Splinter had put on him, either.

Michelangelo hoped that when Raphael brought their brother home, Leonardo wouldn't be collapsing in on himself, either.

But Leonardo didn't come home that night.

Or the night after.

(note: new chapters are taking awhile because teaching is insane right now - I've been grading 'till 8pm on Fridays. Please don't ask me to "update soon." That just makes me even more depressed and incapable of writing.)