This idea was inspired by quite a few of you so thank you for the inspiration for some much needed Callie and Stef time. New readers: welcome and hope you enjoy. Aiming to have the next chapter up within a week.
Title came from lyrics in a beloved song by Sia.
Chapter 29: Solace in the Strangest Place
Stef was a bundle of nerves as she walked through the Administration office, trying to formulate her words. Seeing Lena's door closed, she was grateful that her wife was tied up for she was at a complete loss as to how she would explain what she'd learned that morning.
"Karen!" she called, waving at Lena's colleague who had worked there from the day they'd started dating.
"Hello, my dear. Staying safe at work, I hope?" the woman began before her words were promptly drowned out by someone's raised voice filtering into the main reception. Lena's.
Stef was about to make a witty remark about this generation's youth when she blanched at the all-too-familiar sympathetic look the elderly woman gave her. "Good luck, Stefanie."
"Wha— what does this have to do with me?" she sputtered, feeling her blood pressure spike. Jesus! Her fear that it was once again her middle son who had landed in the office was corrected almost immediately when she heard her eight-year-old. She frowned, confused as to why Jude would be in the office before accepting that none of her children could behave themselves.
Letting out a quiet groan of exasperation, the cop marched over to Lena's office and knocked before stepping inside. She did a double-take when she noticed Callie and Jude sitting across from the executive desk as she closed to the door softly behind her. Her wife stood before them—arms crossed and very clearly unimpressed with the pair.
Not even three whole days after her daughter had been allowed to return to school and she was already back in the office.
Diverting her gaze to Lena, she held her palms up in resignation at the pointed glare she received. The office was her wife's turf and she understood that she was not to get involved unless directed otherwise. No way was she going to push Lena's buttons so soon after things had started getting better between them.
Still, she felt for her kids as she observed them from the far wall, keeping her arms folded in mutual disapproval. The children, who had paled when she first entered, had turned their attention back towards Lena though neither were quite courageous enough to look at her. Jude's gaze was downcast and he wrung his hands together, feet not quite reaching the floor as he sat in a chair that was too large for him. Beside him, Callie had her head bowed, nervously clutching her left upper arm with her right hand. On the desk were several assignments covered in red ink, each stapled to a small blue slip that required a parent's signature. Stef shook her head, fully aware of what her sweet children had been up to.
Lena huffed in frustration as she levelled each of them with a steely gaze. She had welcomed a steady stream of errant students into her office all morning and hadn't expected to see Callie and Jude as part of that group.
"Jude Jacob, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm sorry…I promise I won't do it again," he said with genuine remorse. He looked up at Lena momentarily before quailing at her raised eyebrow. "I—I'll do better," he whispered. After all, it'd been his bad grades that had gotten him and Callie into this mess in the first place.
"Jude…" Lena sighed, softening at her son's contriteness. "Mom and I would never get upset about marks as long as you're trying; that's all we want from any of you and we both know how hard you've been working. This is not about how you did on your assignments. You understand that, right? It's how you went about handling it afterwards that I am unhappy about." She felt herself getting irritated all over again even as her son only stared guilty into his hands.
"While I appreciate your apology and am glad to hear you won't be trying this again, it does not explain why you—the both of you—decided to hide this. This was not just one assignment—," Lena started, grabbing the papers. "—But one, two, three, four, FIVE of them," she ground out. One she could handle but there were several, and that the siblings had conspired to evade them annoyed her to no end.
"Look at me when I am talking to you," she snapped. She let the pile fall back onto her desk with a slap, regretting it immediately when fear flashed across both their faces and they recoiled into their chairs.
"Is there a reason you two didn't want us to know about this work?" Lena tried again, able to keep her tone patient this time after silently counting to ten. "Well?"
Jude fiddled with his hands, knowing an explanation was expected from him but unsure of what to say. It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, not so much. It had been a while since he had gotten in trouble with Lena and he had forgotten how much he didn't like it.
"I didn't want you to be m—mad," he finally hiccupped as tears slipped down his cheeks. He hadn't meant for her to get so upset. In fact, he hadn't even considered that she would find out. Instead, he had promptly forgotten about them after handing them in with Callie's signatures on the parent slips.
The Vice Principal nodded, trying to be understanding of what she was hearing. "I'm not mad," she reassured. "I'm just disappointed and a little confused, Bud," she said truthfully.
None of their kids had ever been punished for subpar grades—not directly, anyway. Most of the time she and Stef would come up with extra practice and give one-on-one help until there was improvement. That was it. So she was beyond confounded that this had suddenly become an issue.
Callie shifted uncomfortably in her chair, discouraged at the mess she'd managed to get herself into again. She had been trying—really trying—not to be a disappointment but so far it seemed like that was the only thing she was good at.
"It's all my fault. I told Jude to let me sign it…and then did it before he could say no. He didn't do anything wrong," Callie insisted. Her heart thudded in her chest, and it was making her feel lightheaded. "I thought that maybe if I signed the slips then you wouldn't be mad—cause, well…you wouldn't know…" she trailed off as Lena's eyes widened in disbelief.
"You signed the slips so we wouldn't know, that much was clear," the Vice Principal said firmly. "Callie, you've just finished your suspension. Was it not long enough?" she asked in exasperation, knowing it was unfair of her to bring it up especially when she'd been working all week to have it amended.
"It—it was," Callie stammered, tearing up at being scolded.
"Then what were you thinking? You know that no one in our home gets in trouble over their grades," Lena repeated. She did not want something like this to happen again and needed it to stick.
Her daughter shrugged miserably. "I forgot, I guess," she replied in a tone that was nearly inaudible.
"And just what exactly were you two planning after you hid this from us? Ignore the problem? Continue forging our signatures?" Lena continued to push, not knowing what she wanted to hear from the girl. As much as she knew Callie was sorry, it was hard not to let her annoyance show. Being the older sibling, she had expected her daughter to know better.
"To help Jude so he could do better on the next stuff and then get his grades up…so that maybe you wouldn't be as mad if you found out," Callie replied, her voice pitching at Lena's sternness. "We just—we weren't thinking about the same thing you were thinking, honest," she said truthfully. Realizing how much of a terrible plan it sounded like now, she began to cry.
She hated that she had made Lena upset but had to admit she deserved it. Rarely would Lena get more angry than Stef. If she did, it was because they had messed up at school, which the woman really didn't like.
Taken aback by how crestfallen the girl appeared and how forthright she was being, Lena slid off the desk and crouched between Callie and Jude. Interactions like these were so hard, especially when her children believed they weren't safe to make mistakes and she was unsure of what she could do to make the conversation any easier on them. One thing was clear, however; the last thing they needed was for her to be a Vice Principal over a mother. Reaching behind her to grab a Kleenex for Callie, she watched sadly as the girl peeled away a ply for her brother.
"Sorry we're so much trouble," Callie said in a small voice.
"Hey. Look at me, both of you," Lena instructed, waiting until they did as they were told. "You are not too much trouble, neither of you. You have never been too much trouble, okay? You just made a mistake," she emphasized as she placed a hand on the girl's knee. She paused to let that message sink in before continuing.
"I know you were just looking out for Jude and you were going to help him get his grades up and that's admirable, Callie. It really is, sweetheart. But both of those things could've happened even if you told us the truth," she pointed out as Callie nodded in resignation. "Forging Mom's signature—or anyone's—is unacceptable. We expect honesty from you and that means not hiding things from us that you need to come to us for."
Now it was time to straighten out her son. "Even if you were able to get your marks up in time for parent-teacher conferences, we would've found out then, anyway. We still needed to know about this, Jude. You may not have told us a lie, but keeping things from us is still the same as lying," she said, keeping her tone stern but calm.
Jude nodded. That made sense.
Lena smiled encouragingly as she returned her focus back to her daughter. "Next time, I expect you to support your brother in doing the right thing." She stifled a laugh when Callie stared at her with incredulousness. Policing each other likely sounded like a foreign concept and Lena yearned for the day they would have more normalized interactions. For now, she would continue to seed ideas.
"What am I going to do with you two?" Lena sighed as she reached for her late slips and began to sign off on them. Her question was tempered in the exasperated, yet fond, way that only a parent could achieve.
She handed each a slip. "Ten minutes, enough time to go to the bathroom if you need. Say hello and apologize to Mom before you leave, please."
Stef felt her heart clench as her children approached her. It was clear that both were nervous—each convinced that they were in more trouble than they actually were. If anything, she had been more shocked than angry at the misbehaviour and concerned that her youngest was suddenly having issues at school.
However, listening to Callie's honest explanation had left her bursting with pride. So used to the girl's stubborn resistance to engage whenever she was found to have broken any of their rules, the sudden willingness to try to communicate was surprising. This time, there had been no fight before they managed to get anything out of Callie. It was as though the energy to fight and hide had dissipated—and while Stef found that worrisome, it also meant she was learning new ways to handle herself in these situations.
Neither Callie nor Jude knew that, though.
The both of them looking thoroughly chastened, they made tentative eye contact as they chorused their hellos. Having followed the first part of Lena's directions, they hung their heads and stood awkwardly, waiting to see how she would react.
Her heart ached as she took in the worried expressions of her children, their faces blotchy from recent tears. Callie bit her lower lip, sadness etched into her brow. Jude was still sniffling and his breaths came out intermittently in shuddered gasps. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, shaking his head as his sister elbowed him in the ribs, prompting him to follow through with his apology.
"I know you're disappointed…Stef, I'm…I'm really sorry I faked your signature," Callie said sincerely when Jude only waited for her lead. She gripped her left arm nervously as she worked on what to say next, feeling awful at the situation they were in.
Deciding it'd be best to take his turn, Jude piped in. "I'm sorry I lied. I won't do it again."
"Come here. Come here—you're both okay," Stef murmured quietly. She held out her arms, relieved when Jude immediately came to her for a hug.
Callie glanced up uneasily at their foster mother. Jude was curled into Stef's side, and the girl couldn't help but smirk at his attempt to ham his way out of any disapproval directed his way. She hesitated as Stef kept her other arm extended for her, feeling mixed emotions over if she should accept the offer.
On one hand was her desire to seek comfort from someone she felt safe with—someone she didn't want to disappoint so that they would want her to be a part of their family. Then there was the fear that she needed to detach herself sooner than later from this same person, who had shown her that she had the capacity to do things she didn't like. Someone who regretted having her.
Muddying all of this was the exhaustion at trying to understand why they were being so kind. She didn't get what was going on anymore. The only things she was certain of was that the cop couldn't be that angry with them if she wanted to give them hugs already, and that she would probably feel better to have a hug right about now.
"Oh, love," Stef gasped when Callie finally relented and she had both her children tight in her arms. She'd been waiting for his moment all day and never wanted to let them go. No one can ever hurt you again, she wished she could tell them.
"You are both safe, my babies," she fussed, ignoring the perplexed look Lena gave her.
"This discussion is far from over, but I trust that neither of you will ever consider doing something like this again, hmm?" She kissed Jude on the head before giving Callie the same affectionate gesture, as if trying to get their forgiveness for having to be be stern that time. Desperate to convey that they were loved regardless of whatever mischief they managed to get into.
"I…I didn't think it was the same as telling a lie but I guess, maybe I lied about being you," Callie mumbled sadly as she let herself relax and rested her head against Stef's chest, feeling safe at last from being scolded. After pushing Lena's buttons, she had to admit that she'd been anxious to be loved up again. "Sorry, Stef."
"Shh. We'll talk about this when we get home. All Mama and I need you two to know is that you are forgiven. Everything is going to be fine—this is nothing that can't be fixed, you hear me?" Stef soothed, resting her chin on the girl's head to hide her own tears. Now that she was aware of what previous caregivers had been like, she wanted to be clear—there was nothing to be afraid of.
"It was a good effort at looking out for your brother. It was just not in the way we expected, that's all, honey. Only thirteen and already into identity theft…Mama and I have far bigger dreams for you than that, my girl—much bigger, I promise you," she playfully reproached. She ducked her head to catch Callie's gaze, laughing at the sheepish, yet mischievous smirk on her daughter's face.
Her worries had only magnified at seeing the bluish hue to her daughter's lips. Sweat beads littered her hairline and the bridge of her nose, and the woman wondered if Callie was frightened or if there was a possibility she was getting ill from the stress.
"Off you go now," Stef instructed as she realized it wouldn't be long before she lost it completely. She gave a firm squeeze to the napes of their necks, causing her rascals to squeal in laughter at being tickled before they ran off.
Perhaps there was hope, after all.
"So how did Jude's teacher figure out it was Callie who signed the slips?" the cop asked. She scrutinized the attempt at copying her signature, unsure of whether to laugh or be offended. If she didn't have a complex about her poor penmanship before, she surely did now.
"She didn't. She thought he had done it himself," Lena said, rooting around in the cabinet for her ibuprofen. "But Callie was already here when I took the call and the look on her face gave it away."
"Callie was in your office? What for?" Stef asked, worried all over again.
"Calm down," Lena said, laughing. Her wife was too much sometimes. "We spent morning break together. She's pretty much glued to us unless she's in class, remember?"
"Right," Stef said apologetically, still feeling somewhat on high alert.
"I have to say, I was impressed with her for how quickly she admitted to it," Lena pointed out. Callie hadn't tried to lie her way out of it at all, not like she normally did when she was trying to avoid getting into trouble with them. That was significant progress, in her opinion.
Stef nodded slowly in agreement. "Wow. That is great. Considering where we were just a week ago." Nodding towards the signed tests, she added, "I guess this was actually somewhat of a success, too. She basically told us right away what her reasoning had been, Lena. She's learning."
Her relief was overwhelming. For the first time, Callie had moved beyond simply being remorseful for something she had done—she had answered their questions with enough of an explanation so they were able to understand why she had acted the way she did.
"I mean, Jude also essentially said that he didn't want us to find out because he didn't want us to be mad at him…so I'm not entirely sure that I believe Callie when she says this idea was her's alone," Lena said skeptically.
"No, Jude is not completely off the hook, not in the least. But I'm also inclined to think Callie's telling the truth," Stef said, thinking back to the conversation she had overheard between them.
You love Lena and want her to love you back, right? So you gotta keep being good and try not to bug her so much, otherwise she might not. She loves you so much 'cause you're easy, Jujee.
The cop bit her lip, not wanting to hurt Lena's feelings."I heard her telling Jude that you might not love him as much as you do now, if he wasn't careful with how much he bothered you," she said as her voice cracked.
"Where would Callie even get an idea like that?" Lena was baffled by their daughter's reasoning—and at the thought that any of her children could ever think they were undeserving of their love. "When was this?"
"Over the weekend. Callie was helping Jude with math while they were both supposed to be doing homework at the table. He was pretty discouraged…you know how he gets…even though Callie's explanation wasn't that off. Anyway, Jude was wondering why he couldn't just ask you," Stef explained.
Lena could only shake her head. She had suspected this had happened a few days ago and while a part of her was slightly irritated with her wife for not having told her right away, she hadn't been the best partner lately.
I—I honestly can't even be upset with her right now," Stef admitted sadly. "I really do believe that Callie was just trying to look out for him. She said so as much."
Their daughter was afraid enough to make a mistake—any mistake—that she was willing to go to lengths to hide it from them, even if that meant breaking rules in the process. It wasn't so much a worry about being punished as it was that they wouldn't love her. Things had been left precarious enough with Bill's visit that Callie must have started to worry she was easier to get rid of than to deal with—no matter how much they reassured that wasn't in the cards. That was why Callie had been encouraging Jude not to get in their way.
"You know that we'll still have to address the lying," Lena said, though it was not without guilt. Granted, she should've been happy. Compared to everything they had dealt with last week, forging a parent's signature was minuscule. Her annoyance had abated somewhat now that she understood Callie's perspective, but she also felt that the both of them knew better than to hide the work like that.
It took everything in Stef not to groan. Consequences needed to happen—her children could be sure of that. They wouldn't be happy about it, but at this point they almost needed it—to give them the opportunity to understand they'd receive appropriate repercussions and most importantly, that it'd be alright.
That wasn't the problem. The problem was that she didn't have the energy to get into any of this. On top of the conversation that needed to happen with Lena, the cop was not looking forward to having to reprimand Callie and Jude when she got home, either.
"Why don't we talk to Jude tonight and I'll talk to Callie sometime before group tomorrow?" Stef suggested, remembering that she would need to pick her up from school by noon for her group.
Lena raised an eyebrow at her wife's uncharacteristic calmness. Usually, she would have to encourage Stef to tone it down to save their children's skin.
This time, there hadn't been a single threat of punishment. Something was obviously on the cop's mind and she had a foreboding sense that whatever it was, wasn't something Stef looked forward to sharing.
"Honey…what's going on?" she said, afraid to ask.