AN:

I've come to that point in my story that the rating will change. I just want everyone to know that once you reach the italics, it gets graphic. It won't hurt my feelings if any of you are uncomfortable reading it, for a long time I was uncomfortable reading it myself. But I slowly eased my way into it and now I somehow feel comfortable writing those things.

I want to apologize for the break I took. I had some things in my life that needed my attention a little bit more than this so I took a temperary break. I didn't come back to writing until 2 days ago and I somehow came up with this. Lucky I know what I want to write next so hopefully it won't take as long.

Until then, happy reading!

My head gets thrown back as I try not to spill my drink from the force of my belly laugh. My cheeks literally hurt from smiling so hard.

Everyone is on the edge of their seat as Chandler continues his story about us in college. Usually I don't enjoy listening to stories about myself but for some reason this occasion seems acceptable.

He holds up a hand as he chuckles; trying to get everyone to calm down so he can deliver the punchline.

"Here's the thing, here's the thing..." He pauses as our laughs subside "She didn't know I was Ross' roommate-"

I watch as Rachel stares back at me so I explain my situation "A strange man comes knocking on my door close to midnight, I might add, with my garments in hand. How do you expect me to react?"

"Wait, wait, wait..." Rachel stops us "Why did Chandler have your laundry?"

Ah, the golden question. "I asked Ross to pick it up for me since he was going down to the basement anyway."

"But Ross couldn't carry all his laundry, which he had sorted in different baskets, and Monica's too. So he asked me to come along and grab hers." Chandler cuts in and motions for me to continue.

"Anyway." I roll my eyes "I ended up slapping him the first time we met." I reach over and rub his arm that lies on the hand rest "Right before I grabbed my laundry."

My mother shakes her head, dismay written all over her face. I'm sure it's hard for her to believe her young offspring slapping a perfect gentleman like Chandler. In my defense, I had no clue who this man was the minute I opened my door.

Chandler and I grab eye contact for a split second causing me to blush slightly when he winks at me; his one move that reassures any regret I might have about that night. He always knows how to get the butterflies flying in the pit of my stomach.

Shaking my empty bottle I stand up to get another, yet before I make my way to the kitchen I ask around to make sure everyone else is settled with their beverage "Honey, need another one?" I motion specifically to Chandler, not able to stop myself ahead of time.

Shit. That did not just come from my mouth. Shit, shit, shit.

My eyes widen as the blood rushes to my face. All eyes fall on me when they should be on Chandler waiting for his response.

Before he can respond I run my thumb across my bottom lip and step out of the circle we formed; heading straight towards the kitchen; not daring to turn back.

The next thing I know, I'm setting my empty bottle on the table. My hands rest on the counter top just before I lock my elbows and drop my head. I don't even remember opening the door, my mind is racing a million times a second. Out of all the things I could have said, I said that.

I hear the back door open and close, but I don't turn around. I'd rather not face my embarrassment.

"Sure, sweetums, I'd love another."

I can't help but crack a smile as my eyes drift shut for a moment. Dropping my shoulders, I turn around only to come face to face with Chandler Bing. "That's not funny."

He chuckles "Then why are you smiling?" He asks, walking over to grab a cold beverage from the fridge. I watch as he pops the cap open and slides it in front of me. Chandler then pushes up his sleeves, one after the other, and leans back against the counter. His hands rest behind him while he crosses his ankles.

"Impressive." I remark, inspecting the beer bottle as I realize he never used a bottle opener to open the alcohol.

"College." He states and I nod in answer.

I'd rather not hear all about his drunken college days, so I grab my glass and make my way to the trashcan. It's silent for a little while and I wonder if he is thinking all about the "what if" list. What if, you never left? What if we never broke up? What if you never became famous? What if? Frankly, I don't think it'll change anything.

"Mon, when are we going to realize we've made a mistake?" He turns around so he can watch my every move.

"What you mean to say is..." I turn to face him, pointing the finger that holds the bottle believing that motion makes every point stronger. "When are we going to admit we've made a mistake." I tell him, opening the lid of the trashcan and dropping the bottle into the sack.

He nods but remains silent. "Chandler, I'm leaving in 2 days-"

"So let's make it count." He takes a step closer to me.

Honestly, I realized it was a mistake the minute the plane took off. I got that sinking feeling of not belonging where I was going and I knew I shouldn't have left. I had no friends, no family, and for awhile, my Saturday nights were days I dreaded. The weekends were quiet as I spent most of the 48 hours alone. It wasn't until I got my first interview that I felt like there was a purpose for my existence. I felt like people actually saw me; making my career actually mean something. At first, not all the feedback was positive but that was something I told myself will never get me down. I will always accept negative criticism...it's what makes me a stronger being.

As I come back to the town it all began, the feeling of being lost resurfaces and I'm not sure where to go from here. It's not like I'm starting over or anything but it's never a pleasant feeling when remembering the things that hurt me in the past.

"You don't get it, do you?" My voice rises and I can't control the way my face tenses up, angrily. "If anything happens between us..." I motion to the space not occupied from him to me "It will make leaving that much harder." Dropping my hand I shake my head but continue to make eye contact as my voice softens "I made a life for me back in L.A. And you made a life here." My shoulders slump and I ease the anger in my face. "We had our moment and you ended it-"

"No." He shakes his head and closes the gap between us "You ended it." I watch as he bites his lip to keep from yelling.

"But you didn't come after me." I can feel the tears form in my eyes and I swallow before it spills out "You didn't fight for me."

The emotion built up inside me is nothing I can express with words. It's like bricks are being lied on top of my chest one by one, making it twice as hard to breath. It's like someone tied an anchor to my body, threw me in the ocean and told me to swim. It's like experiencing a heartbreak for the first time. It hurts all over again.

"Just tell me what to do." He sighs as his fingers lace through mine. "Please." The glisten in his eyes is soft and worrisome. And for a moment I want to take him upstairs and change his appearance completely. But before I can make a fool of myself, I step back and take my hand with me.

"I think it's best we don't see each other these next couple days." The words come out so soft that I don't even know if he heard me clearly. And I wonder if I can change my statement. It's not until he nods and steps back to retrieve his jacket from behind the chair that I realize he understood every word.

He doesn't argue with me, he doesn't even mutter a sound. He just grabs his jacket, reaches in his pocket for his keys and walks out. Without a goodbye or even an acknowledgment of his passing on to another place, he shuts the front door behind him.

The tears finally fall before I quickly wipe them away. This is for the best. If anything happened and then I left...it's only going to hurt us more. It's better to not get involved at all then to fall for someone I can't have.

At least, that's what I was taught.

Taking a deep breath I grab my drink and put on a smile. Reminding myself one last time that this is for the best, I walk outside.

The minute I open the door all eyes are on me "Chandler still in the restroom?" My father asks and I assume Chandler told the gang that he had to use the restroom when he came in the kitchen to talk to me.

Sitting back down in my seat next to Rachel I inform them that he had to get going as he had an early day tomorrow.

They all nod before going back to their conversation prior to my return. I risk a glance over at Rachel only to find her staring me down. I know she can see right through me. She's my best friend, she knows me better than I know myself.

"What?" I mouth before she burns a hole through my skull.

"Did you..." She mouths back and I blink a second too long as I shake my head. Looking across the circle I watch as my brother tells another one of his dinosaur stories. Rachel nudges me, grabbing my attention once more. "Go after him." She whispers but I don't move.

"I can't." I can feel the tears in my eyes start to form so I look away.

"Do you still love him?" She then asks

I'd be crazy not to. He's everything I'd want in a man: the scruff along his jaw line at 5'o'clock in the morning, the tan line that you only see when he does yard work in the middle of the afternoon, and the way his eyes scrunch up every time he smiles. But he's apart of New York while I'm living in California. We belong on opposite sides of the country and right now I think it's for the best. We just have bad timing. The minute I get back I have a photo shoot that I'm appearing in right before my interview with Wake-Up L.A, not to mention the Hallmark movie I'm staring in this Christmas. I have bigger things to worry about than a relationship.

The only difference is, one of these things will make me happy in the future.

Looking back at Rachel I nod slightly. "But I'm sure he's got a promotion coming up that needs his focus, and a gorgeous women standing outside his door." I comment

"Yeah." She nods and for a moment I'm devastated. Which side is she on? She's suppose to comfort me and say there is no other women besides me. That he's been waiting for me for years and I'm the only one meant for him. I'm about to call it quits and head up to bed when she mutters a final word. "You."

"You know you are the only one for me."

I keep my eyes on the naked man beside me as he brushes yet another strand of hair from my eyes. I guess naked would be an overstatement, we have our undergarments on. After sex you'd think we'd remain nude but truth be told if his prisoner was out of jail any longer than need be, my guard dog will start to bite once more.

Do I have any self-control?

Swallowing, I bite my tongue praying he can't read minds because that was the worst metaphor by far.

"I guess I better get out of here." He says but doesn't move.

"Honey, this is your apartment." I remind him, confusion written all over my face.

He laughs, which makes me smile.

"I know, I just love hearing you say it." He shifts so he's now lying on his back. "Can you believe it? We can have sex around the clock and you can be as loud as you'd like, and no one would complain!" He shouts only to retrieve a kick in the shin from me. "Ow..." And his eyes are back on mine as I try to keep a straight face but fail terribly.

"I think I'll be the first one to leave." I pull the sheets back and swing my legs over. Before I can get the chance to stand, Chandler's arms find my hips to push me back down. I can't help the grin that forms as he leans over my head and presses a kiss against my lips upside down. This seems to be our signature kiss as it's preformed often in this situation. My hand finds his cheek to steady his motions to which I feel his 5'o'lock shadow start to form.

When a moan escapes my lips he takes that as a sign to run his hands over my sides until he reaches the hem of my panties. God, I love his touch. So gentle and smooth it sends a chill down my spine every time.

With one last peck, Chandler trails his way down my neck and to my chest. Closing my eyes, I kiss his chest letting him know to keep going.

His nose and lips disappear behind my bra and I giggle while he tries his damn-dist to work around it. He groans in frustration and I push him back before he completely rips the material with his teeth. "Babe, you need to wear the one with a zipper in the front for occasions like this." He informs me and my brow furrows in response.

"How do you know I have one of those?" I ask, resting my hand on his chest as he sits up straighter.

"We're together, remember?" He jokes

I roll my eyes "Right, I forgot." Spinning around, I crawl over his body "You've seen me naked."

The temptation of being seductive during all of this is almost too much for him to handle as he grows stiff. Smirking, I reach back and unclasp my bra, allowing it to slowly slide down my arms.

Chandler gently lies on his back with a smile. Without losing eye contact, he grabs the straps and finishes undressing me. Once I'm exposed for the second time tonight, my knees rest beside his waist and I make sure he can feel the heat coming from my under carriage as I rub against him softly. When he grabs the side of my hips a grin forms on my lips before I bring myself down to plant another kiss on his mouth. I can feel him start to trace small circles against my skin with his thumb; the feeling electrifying and smooth, that I have to break away to gain some control.

"I love when the smallest touch turns you on."

Looking down my nose I meet his bright blue eyes despite the dim room "If your smile weren't so damn charming none of this would be happening right now."

As he flashes another one of those famous grins that caught my attention in the first place, he comments "You think I'm charming?"

Looking up, I tease him slightly "Well..." trailing off I try to raise the suspense.

Apparently it's too much for him to bear as he grabs a hold of me securely, giving me no time to react when he tosses me back down. A shriek escapes my throat as my back hits the bed causing my hands to get thrown over my head. His body hoovers over mine, his breath so close I can smell the wine we shared earlier. I could get use to this view. A fit, naked, sweaty man pressed against my wet, naked, perky breast is not something I'd complain about.

Chandler's lips brush against mine before his eyes drift shut and he whispers "Well, I think I got a smart ass girlfriend..." He comments before crashing against me.

"A smart ass girlfriend who knows how to make you go crazy."

He winks at me before slipping down my body with a smirk. If we were in any other situation I'd slap him for being mischievous, but at this moment I'd love it if he continued.

As if I couldn't have spoken any sooner...

Gasping, I feel him trace my nipple with his tongue, my back arches while his free hand works on the other one.

"G-God..." My voice hitches as my breathing becomes shallow. I can feel him smiling against me and my fingers lace through his damp locks from the bubble bath we just got out of.

College life is nothing I expected three years ago. For starters, the relationship boat is a cruise ship I would have bought a ticket for a long time ago if I knew the sex would be this great. I wouldn't necessarily say this is the best sex I've ever had, but if someone were to hook me up to a lie detector machine...well, I wasn't going to say "no".

So to wrap it up, this is the best sex I've ever had.

Gently, Chandler's teeth scrap against my left breast as the other one gets rubbed between two fingers. I always knew women could orgasm just by fondling with their nipples, but shit, I couldn't have teased them any better than Chandler is right now.

It's not until Chandler gags that I realize I've been pushing on the back of his head this entire time.

"Sorry..." I gasp and drop my hand, but he just leans up and kisses my fingers before putting all his weight on one hand. For a moment I have no idea what he's about to do until my whole body trembles and my eyes roll to the back of my head.

"Look at me." He commands but I can't seem to obey as the feeling intensifies. "Mon, open your eyes."

Looking up I find his gorgeous face in front of mine and somehow everything gets more extreme.

His fingers lap over my freshly shaven..."Ahh..."

"And she's back." He grins, pulling my panties down my legs before I kick the thin material off completely and he resumes his motions.

Slowly, Chandler moves his finger back and forth making sure to hit my sensitive area every time. If I were to go right now, well...what a way to go.

Spreading my legs a little further, Chandler cups behind my kneecap and raises my leg just right. "Jesus!" I yell as my whole body starts to shake. "Yes...yes..." Just when I thought I was about to go over the edge, Chandler inserts another finger. My hips start to move with his motions as he picks a rhythm. "Please, I'm almost there...oh God, please..."

Before I can go any higher, his head disappears and I feel the flat of his tongue on my lips right before he slowly licks up. I can feel every move me makes and it causes me to squirm even more. He flicks the tip of his tongue gently across my clit, barely brushing it. Softly blowing cold air onto it, I start to shiver.

"Oh God, you're killing me," I whisper in frustration "Just lick me, dammit."

Chandler smiles up at me to which I glare in irritation. But I have to admit it was mixed with a little bit of desire as I tried to hide my grin.

Leaning in, he places his whole mouth over my folds and licks my lips up and down.

"Oh yeah...that's it," I moan, finally getting some relief.

Reaching up, he made sure my breast were getting the same amount of attention as my opening.

Without thinking twice, I push up and rotate my hips so he could service me more completely. Apparently, doing so could really break your boyfriends nose.

"Kind of need to breath, Mon..." He comments

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." I apologized, spreading my legs further apart.

"You're good." He assures me, wiggling his nose to make sure we don't have to make an emergency trip, because believe me, this would be one hell of a story. "Just let me do the pleasuring. I'll make sure you get your relief."

It's good to know he finds this humorous.

Nodding, he comes up to kiss me quickly and I can't help but taste myself on his lips before he moves back down my body.

And just like that, we are back in the zone as his tongue weaves in and out of my folds like he's searching for something. With each lick he brings me higher to my climax and closer to a breaking point.

Chandler goes deeper and deeper into me as I whimper with each new feeling that comes. It was as if my flesh knew exactly where his tongue would go next, and began tingling a moment before it received its wet touch.

I tried to wait out my orgasm but it was hard with what I was feeling between my legs.

"Ahh...ahhh...ahhh...ahhh..." I whine, softly

I could feel Chandler's tongue move up to my clit before his lips closed around it, and then the most amazing jolt, as if given a good, long suck. My eyes drift shut to focus on the movements he's giving me. My lips are firmly closed, trying to hold in the moans that longed to escape.

"Mmmmmm...mmmmmm...mmmmm..."

Then I whispered, "Chandler, I can't take much more. I need you to go in me...please."

Sometimes I think he enjoys this more than I do.

Chandler leaves me with a pop before quickly throwing off his boxers, sitting up and shimming forward so he can angle himself at my opening. My breathing is coming back down to normal as my eyes flutter open to find him beaming at me. "Need a break?" He questions, seeing my face a little flustered.

"You think you're so smug." I keep my lips in a fine line before he leans down and places a passionate kiss upon them and I break out into a huge grin as I taste the sweetness on his lips.

Slowly, I feel my lips part as he enters me.

"More, more," I thought as the pressure begins to build at my entrance.

"Yes." I mouth as I feel my lips slowly parting even more as Chandler tantalizingly starts to fill me.

"More...more." This time, whispering.

Little by little, in a teasingly slow fashion, I feel myself being filled with a warm hard flesh.

And just as quickly as it begun, Chandler starts to draw out of me before pushing back in. Drawing and pushing, over and over. Dwelling on every increment of motion inside me, my breathing thins out once more.

"OH!" I whimper "Oh, yes...please..."

As he begins to speed up I give up on holding back my moans.

"Ohhhh yeah...oh Chan...yeah...do it...do it.."

I can feel the weight of his body pushing into me with every thrust.

"Deeper...harder..." Panting, he pushes me closer and closer to the edge.

Wrapping his hand around my kneecap, he pulls himself to me as he reaches the bottom of each thrust.

"AAWWWHHHH..." I scream, feeling his head press against the top of my G-spot. "There...right there..."

Chandler slowly withdraws his rod, then rams it back in.

"FUCK!" I scream, reaching the point of no return.

Again and again he rams into me, the sound of my ass slamming against his stomach is too much to handle as my body surrenders my orgasm.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Screaming, I feel the warmth of his release shooting into me "OHHHHHhhhh...ohhhh...mmmmm...yeah...yeahhhh...more...God..." His body was sticking against mine with sweat as we both feel the climax ease away.

Slowly coming to a stop, Chandler rolls off of me. Lying on our backs we wait until our breathing gets back to normal before I reach over and rest my head upon his chest.

"You are the only one for me, too."