South Park: The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints

by WildCard0531

Samuel Cooper is a young lad from Houston, TX. He also has a superhero alter ego known as Sir Justice. Watch as Sam goes through life fighting for his friends, the town, and later, the world. The reason I made this fanfic was because I was in the mood to make an anime esque adventure fanfic with South Park characters. Favorite if you wish. Enjoy! First entry in SPS Universe

2. Prologue 2: Stupid Spoiled Whore

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints Episode 2: Prologue 2: Stupid Spoiled Whore

Author's Note: I'm ignoring Butters' storyline and mainly focusing on Wendy's storyline.

(It's a bright sunny day in South Park. A coach bus stops at a bus stop and lets some passengers off, one of which is a strong 10 year old with spiky strawberry blonde hair, a white tank top, black baggy pants with chains in the pockets, and black shoes. This is the same boy from the ending of the last chapter. This boy is Justin, Sam's old friend from Houston. He looks around at the town)

Justin: So this where Sammy boy has settled down. Pleasant, quaint. I hate it! There's no action here. What's a guy like me supposed to do here!? (Sigh) I might as well try and find, Sam. I'm sure we can get into something. Find some bullies to bash and collect the profit.

(A limousine speeds past him)

Justin: What in the blazes?

(He sees the limousine head straight for the South Park Mall)

Justin: Hmm, looks like I've found me some action. Let's rock!

(He runs for the mall, hoping to find the action that he craves)

(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a strange shadow that looks like a teenage boy with red eyes looking down on the town from atop a hill)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)

(The main characters that include teenage versions of Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy, Bebe, the Mysterion, the Coon, Professor Chaos, Stan, Kyle, Craig, Tweek, Token, Clyde, Red, and Annie among others that I won't reveal because spoilers, charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)

(The shadowy teen from earlier appears along with his 13 commanders that I also won't give away because spoilers. Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)

(The shadowy teen steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Sam is walking around the mall, sipping from a vanilla milkshake, enjoying some alone time)

Sam: (Takes a sip from his shake) I haven't gotten any action since that Trent Boyett dude threatened to harm those guys. (Sigh) It's hard to say whether I love or hate this town because of it. Back in Houston, my gang and I would've whooped five bullies asses by now. I wish they were here. I'd even be happy if just one of them were here with me right now.

(Sam takes another sip from his shake and sees Justin just sitting on a bench. In shock, Sam drops his shake and runs up to him)

Sam: Justin!

(Justin turns to see Sam)

Justin: Sammy boy!

(They run up to each other and high five)

Sam: What a surprise! So what brings you here to South Park, Justin?

Justin: I just came up to visit you. I figured I'd take a few mental health days from school to say hello.

Sam: Well that's nice. I appreciate it. So, how's the rest of the gang?

Justin: Kurt is doing fine. He's getting a lot better at using his paintball guns. Almost as good as you, pal. Bridgette is trying to expand her musical skills to instruments like the trumpet, violin, and drums. And Ursula is at the top of her fencing class.

Sam: Awesome. When you go back to Houston tell them I said hi and I hope that we can meet again. Who know, I might even swing by Houston during the summer and visit.

Justin: I'd like that. So, any sweet tail around in this town?

Sam: There are some cute girls. One of them is even a friend of mine. Her name is Wendy.

Justin: My boy! (Puts Sam in a headlock and noogies him) Sammy boy has found a significant other ladies and gentlemen!

Sam: (Laughs as Justin releases Sam from his grip) Relax, dude. She's not a girlfriend. I mean yeah, she's a girl, and she's a friend, but she's not my girlfriend.

Justin: Sure she isn't.

Sam: I'm serious.

Justin: Well if you're not interested, can I take a crack at her. I'd love to give her some good old fashioned Houston hospitality, if you know what I mean.

Sam: (Sigh) Oh, Justin, you haven't changed a bit have you?

Justin: Nope, and I have no interest in changing anytime soon. I love who I am, buddy!

(The two laugh)

Justin: But seriously, can I meet this Wendy chick?

Sam: Sure.

(Just then Wendy and another one of her friends, Bebe, run past the two boys)

Sam: Hey, that's her right now.

Justin: Which one? The girl in the pink hat or the cute blonde chick?

Sam: The girl in the pink hat.

Justin: Come on, let's go see them.

(Sam and Justin give chase)

(Meanwhile in another part of the mall, Bebe and Wendy push their way to the front of a crowd of people. At the front of the crowd is a stage and behind that is a big red curtain that's concealing something)

Bebe: Come on, Wendy, we're going to miss it!

Wendy: Miss what? (They push past some people) Excuse us, pardon us.

(Justin and Sam follow)

Justin: Make way, move over! Make room, coming through!

(The four kids make their way to the front where they find two other girls, and close friends of Wendy and Bebe, Annie and Red)

Justin: (Sees Annie and Red and thinks to himself) Two more cuties. Awesome!

Wendy: (Notices Sam and Justin) Hey, Sam.

Sam: Hey there, Wendy.

Wendy: So, who is your friend?

Bebe: Yeah, he looks cute.

Justin: (Blushes and acts humble) Aw shucks.

Sam: This is Justin. A friend of mine from Houston. He decided to come up and visit me.

Wendy: Nice to meet you, Justin. Well, since you've introduced us to your friend, I guess we'll introduce ourselves to you. (Turns to Justin) My name is Wendy.

(Justin and Wendy shake hands)

Justin: Sammy boy told me about you, Wendy. Might I add that you look magnificent.

Wendy: (Blushes) Thanks. Anyway, these are my friends. Meet Bebe, Annie, and Red. I don't think you've meet them either, Sam.

Sam: No I haven't. I mean, I've seen them around school, but I've never really taken any time to talk to them. But now that I have met them, it's a pleasure (He shakes the three girls' hands)

Annie: Thanks. Sam, right?

Sam: Correct.

Red: We heard about you from Wendy. You seem like a cool guy.

Sam: I'm glad you think so. (The six kids turn their attention towards the stage) So what's going on here?

Wendy: Yeah, why did you bring me here, Bebe?

Bebe: Paris Hilton is going to be making an appearance at the mall.

Justin: (Shocked) Paris Hilton. Like, the Paris Hilton?! Not some kind of actor paid to play the role of Paris Hilton?!

Bebe: I swear, the real Paris Hilton is going to appear here in this mall! Any minute now she's going to walk on stage and dazzle us all with her presence.

Justin: I can't believe this! Paris is actually going to be here! She's like totally hot!

Wendy: Who's Paris Hilton?

Sam: Yeah, I've never heard of her either. And frankly, I wouldn't know her if I stepped on her.

Annie: You mean you two don't know?

(Wendy and Sam shake their heads and shrug their shoulders as a man in a black suit steps on stage)

Justin: Ssshhh, someone's coming!

(The man begins to talk)

Announcer: Hello, everyone. Thank you all for coming. The Guess Clothing Company is pleased to have as its new spokesperson model, a woman all you young ones can look up to, Ms. Paris Hilton!

(Paris Hilton walks up on stage as everyone cheers. She has blonde hair (most likely dyed), tan skin (most likely spray tan), and she's wearing nothing but a pink bra, short blue jean shorts, and pink boots)

Paris: Hey, get a load of this! (She lifts up her bra, exposing her breasts. Justin in particular is going wild)

Justin: OH MY GOD! SHE FLASHED ME! PARIS, I LOVE YOU! I WANT TO BE THE FATHER OF YOUR CHILDREN! (He's grinning as he gets twinkles in his eyes)

Sam: (Shakes his head and chuckles) Only Justin.

(Sam looks to see Bebe, Annie, and Red, who are also star struck)

Bebe: Oh my god, that's really her! Paris, over here! I love your T.V show, "The World According to Paris." It's the greatest show since My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

(Sam and Wendy still look perplexed)

Wendy: I don't get it. What does she do?

Annie: She's super rich!

Sam: That doesn't answer our question. What does she do?

Red: She's totally spoiled and snobby.

Sam & Wendy: WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE DO!?

Man: (Overhears from behind them and says…) She's a whore.

Sam: Great, a whore. This is the kind of role model we have nowadays. What happened to the greats like John Lennon, Robin Williams, Susan B. Anthony, Nancy Reagan? Why aren't we worshipping them?

Justin: Oh, Sammy, you're overlooking one factor. Those bozos are out, and Paris is totally in!

(Paris begins to speak)

Paris: Hey, everyone! Sorry if I'm a little spent. I did a whole lot of partying last night with a lot of different guys (coughs up some semen). Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Gouth Dark…

Wendy: SOUTH PARK!

Paris:…to announce the opening of my brand new store! A store where girls can buy everything they need to be just like me! (The curtain drops to reveal a store with a pink color motif) Stupid Spoiled Whore! (Everyone cheers) Have fun, girls. Always remember to party, sleep around with as many guys as you can, and be super lame to everybody. Peace in the Middle East!

(The crowd cheers some more as Paris Hilton leaves)

Justin: What are we waiting for, gang, let's head inside!

(Sam, Wendy, Red, Annie, and Bebe follow Justin into the store and they have a look around. The six kids walk down an aisle with dolls on one of the shelves to their left, and clothes to the shelves on the right)

Bebe: Wow, look at all of this cool stuff! (Grabs a Paris Hilton doll from the doll shelf) Stupid Spoiled Whore dolls.

Annie: (Grabs some clothes from the clothes shelf) Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes! (She rubs the fabric of the clothes against her face) So soft and warm!

Justin: (Sees a 17 year old girl walk out with her 10 year old sister, both of which are dressed like Stupid Spoiled Whores) I think I like this place.

(Red sees another shelf with a bunch of heart shape bottles)

Red: Hey, look everyone, it's the new Paris Hilton perfume! Skanque.

Voice: Skanque…

Sam: (Looks around as if he actually heard the voice) Did anyone else hear that?

Justin: Hear what?

Sam: Uh…never mind.

Annie: (About the perfume) Yeah, let's get lots of that!

Red: You got it! (She takes about seven bottles)

(Annie goes to another aisle with nothing but jewelry. Necklaces and rings as far as the eye can see. She comes back to the other five kids with hands full of the jewelry)

Annie: Check out this brand of jewelry. (She reads the brand name off the labels) It's called, Harlotte.

Voice: Harlotte….

(Both Wendy and Sam are looking around for the voice)

Sam: Okay, I know I'm not going crazy. I hear a voice!

Wendy: Yeah, me too.

Justin: (Looks at the two of them) You guys are insane. I can't hear a thing.

Annie: Grab all of the clothes you can so we can go to the changing room and try them on!

(Red, Annie, and Bebe start grabbing random clothes, perfumes, and jewelry when Wendy and Sam intervene)

Sam: Everyone, stop!

Wendy: Yeah, don't buy this stuff. Why do you want to be like Paris Hilton anyway?

Red: It's not just Paris. But also Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Tara Reid, Kim Kardashian, Nikki Minaj, you name it! They're all stupid spoiled whores.

Wendy: But the idea that we'll be whorish for money is belittling to the female gender.

Sam: Not only that, but there are some severe consequences for this.

Red: Enlighten me.

Sam: Well let's see. If people see you dressed like a whore, they will take advantage of you, assuming you're easy. They'll use you for sex, because they'll think that's all you're good for, and meanwhile, you're probably more than just that. Not only that, but people that dress in outfits like those end up getting raped, kidnapped, killed, hell, maybe even all three. Need I remind you of what happened to Jean-Bennett Ramsey in 1996? I just don't want to see you guys end up dead in a basement somewhere.

Red: I'm impressed by all of the big words you used…but I didn't ask for a sermon.

Annie: You're just overreacting, Sam. We'll be fine. You worry about what's going on in your life, and we'll worry about what's going on in ours.

Sam: But…but…

Bebe: Get a clue, Sam. A whorish lifestyle like this is where it's at. (Looks at Wendy) And as far as being whorish for money, Wendy, I'm not interested in cash. I just want fame. And that's because the only thing more important than being rich is being famous.

Annie: Wow, you're really starting to sound like a dumb brat, Bebe.

Bebe: (Smiles) Thanks, Annie. So, are you ready to try on these new clothes.

Red and Annie: Yes!

Justin: What are you waiting for then, let's find some dressing rooms.

(Justin, Bebe, Red, and Annie go ahead and find some changing rooms while Wendy and Sam slowly follow behind)

Wendy: I don't like this. Why would they idolize someone like Paris Hilton. I just don't get it.

Sam: Not only that, but I don't like the idea of your friends hanging out with Justin if they're going to be whoring it up.

Wendy: What do you mean?

Sam: I know everything about Justin. He's a friend of mine. I've been friends with Justin for years, and I've worked with Justin numerous times. And in that time, I can confirm that he is a girl crazy creep. Now, I love Justin like a brother, but it's true. Back in Houston, I've seen him peep in on the girls' locker room in school. I'm worried that Justin might go over the edge and end up doing god knows what to those three.

Wendy: I see what you mean.

Sam: Yeah. I know he has something planned. I'm going to confront him right now!

(He charges ahead and Wendy is left in thought)

Wendy: (Thinking to herself) While I am concerned about Justin and my friends, I'm curious as to what Sam meant when he said, "I've worked with Justin numerous times?" (She gets a flashback from when Sam left Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny as Sir Justice) If Sam really is that Sir Justice guy…could it be possible that Justin is some kind of vigilante like him? (End flashback) I don't know.

(Wendy and Sam eventually catch up to Justin, who is standing in front of three changing room stalls)

Sam: Justin, we need to talk…

Justin: In a minute Sammy boy. (Turns to the changing rooms) Have you lovely ladies found something that you like?

Annie: I know I have.

Red: Yup.

Bebe: I love mine.

Justin: So I take it you've made your final decisions?

The three girls: Yup!

Justin: Then come on out and show these two your new wardrobe!

(The three doors open and the girls reveal their wardrobe. Their clothes are as follows…)

(Annie: An aquamarine tube top with teal-and-aquamarine wrap skirt, and white sandals. As for make up, she has pink blush, pink eye shadow, and pink lipstick)

(Red: A violet bolero jacket with a brown fur trim, an orange bikini top, a blue denim miniskirt, fishnet stockings, and teal boots. As for make-up, she has pink blush, blue eye shadow, pink lipstick, and her raid hair has a glossy finish)

(Bebe: a fluffy white shawl with a fluffy white brazier, red boots, and a red miniskirt that comes with a belt. The belt in question has a white buckle with a star on it. She also has pink hair extensions, pink eye shadow, red lipstick, and pink blush)

Bebe: (Giggles) So, how do we look.

Justin: Mmm-mmm-MMM! It's hotter than the Sahara up in here! (Does a cat call and turns to Sam) So, Sammy boy, what do you think?

Wendy: Sam, you can't possibly be okay with this?

(Sam is astonished at Bebe, Annie, and Red's appearance and he doesn't know what to think)

Sam: Uh…I….I….I…(Blushes hard and some blood trickles out of his nose) My nose is bleeding. Is this an anime?

Wendy: Sam!

Sam: (Thinks to himself) I don't know what to think. I know I'm against this whore thing, but at the same time a growing boy like me is fascinated by the beauty that these three possess. No, I'm against it, I must ignore them! But at the same time, they look so adorable. Annie looks like a princess in that outfit, and those highlights really emphasize the majesty of Bebe's hair. No, what am I talking about! I don't want this! And yet I kind of do! What's happening? Why are my hormones doing this to me? Why? (Out loud) I'M SO CONFUSED!

Red: Aww, you're so cute, Sam.

(The three girls giggle causing Sam to get a nosebleed Soul Eater Evans style. The nosebleed was so strong that it sent Sam to the floor)

Wendy: Oh my God, Sam!

Bebe: Does he think we're that fabulous?

Justin: Apparently so. Hey, I just got an idea. (He takes out his wallet and pulls out a wad of cash) What do you girls say we get out of here and go check out a movie?

Annie: We'd love that, Justin.

Justin: (Hands them some cash) You girls go on and pay for your things. I'll meet you outside.

Bebe: Okay.

(The three girls leave as Justin goes over to Sam. Wendy slaps him in the face and that brings him back to his senses. Sam wipes the blood from his nose)

Sam: Where am I?

Justin: Those three girls sure are something, huh, Sam?

Sam: Justin, that's right. I have to talk to you.

Justin: I have time for a little pow wow. What's up?

Sam: Just hang on. Wendy, can you go over there? I'll handle this.

Wendy: Actually, I have to head home. I'll see you tomorrow?

Same: Sure. Goodbye, Wendy.

(Wendy leaves the two boys alone so they can talk)

Sam: What do you plan on doing to Wendy's friends, Justin?

Justin: (Grins and cackles evilly) Isn't it obvious? I intend on "getting to these girls," if you know what I mean.

Sam: What do you mean? Do you plan on…having your way with them?

Justin: Oh yes!

Sam: (Gasps) But why? Why are you so concerned about sex? You're only 10 years old! They're only 10 years old!

Justin: I know. But it's family tradition, you know. Every boy in my family since the days of the Civil War lost their virginities at the age of 10. I want to continue this tradition. See, the reason I came up to South Park was not only to visit you, but because I heard from this guy who knows a guy who knows a girl who knows another guy that knows a pedophile that the girls here in South Park are to die for. And it just so happens that I arrive on the same day that the Stupid Spoiled Whore fad takes effect. The fad where it's okay for little girls to act like perverts, grab on to the love handles, and go crazy! If I didn't know any better, I'd say that it's fate that drew me here. God wants me to get laid. And you know what, Sammy boy? When I first met Bebe, Annie, and Red, I was having a tough time trying to decide which one I would go after first. But after seeing them in those seductive outfits, I've made my decision…I want a harem.

Sam: What?! A harem?!

Justin: Is there an echo in here? Yes, I want a harem. I figured if I banged just one of them, it would be unfair to the other two. So I thought that it would be fair if the three of them got a chance to share me in an epic foursome. And if I so happen to run into more girls like those three who want to give me the time of day… (evil smirk) the more the merrier I guess.

Sam: You're pure evil! I can't believe I ever associated with you!

Justin: Relax bro, I'm going to use a condom!

Sam: I can't believe you! Someone like you actually fought alongside me for justice. And now you're talking about sex and lust! I knew you were girl crazy, but I never knew it would escalate to this point. This is beyond the pale, my friend!

Justin: Like I said, this sex thing is a tradition.

Sam: Some traditions are meant to be broken, you know!

Justin: Not this one, Sammy boy, not this one. Now, can you do me a favor and stay out of my way!

Sam: I'm going to stop you, Justin. Just you wait and see!

Justin: (Grins) Go ahead, pal, make my day! Now if you excuse me, I have three temptresses that are just dying to spend time with me. Later!

(Justin heads for the exit and he leaves with Bebe, Red, and Annie. Sam just looks on in disbelief, wondering what his next move should be)

(The next day, Sam is heading towards' Bebe's house)

Sam: If I just tell everyone's parents about what their daughters are up to, this thing will hopefully get nipped right in the bud, and it'll all be over.

(He walks up the front steps to Bebe's house, and knocks on the door. He is greeted by Bebe's father, Mr. Jeffrey Stevens)

Sam: Hey there, you must be Bebe's father. (Reaches his hand out) My name's Samuel Cooper. Everyone just calls me Sam though.

Jeffrey: Nice to meet you. Bebe told us about you last night. Apparently you had a nosebleed over her?

Sam: Oh she told you about that incident. Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was just a big crazy thing. I don't want to go into details. Can I come in?

Jeffrey: Sure.

(He lets Sam into his house)

Jeffrey: Have a seat on the couch, there.

(Sam sits on the couch, and Jeffrey sits on the lounge chair that lies adjacent to the couch)

Jeffrey: So what brings you by?

Sam: Well, sir, this concerns your daughter, Bebe. Is she home?

Jeffrey: No, she's out with some friends.

Sam: I see. Is her mother at least home?

Jeffrey: She's at work.

Sam: Ah. So it's just you.

Jeffrey: Just me.

Sam: Alrighty then. Anyway, there's this fad going around town where everyone dresses like…

Jeffrey: Stupid spoiled whores?

Sam: That's right, how did you know!

Jeffrey: We heard about it from a news article the other day. We showed Bebe and she was ecstatic. She came home yesterday looking like a totally different person. We allowed it because for one thing, Paris Hilton is her role model and we don't want to intervene in such matters, and second, if this is a fad, we don't want our daughter to be the only one in town not a part of it.

Sam: That's understandable. But now Bebe, along with her other friends, are hanging out with this kid who just means nothing but trouble. I heard him say that he wanted a harem with your daughter and everyone else's daughter.

Jeffrey: You don't say?

Sam: Yeah. So I was wondering if you could talk with Bebe since you're her father. She might listen to you.

Jeffrey: Well. This is all a lot to take in. Harems, toxic relationships.

Sam: So what are you going to do?

Jeffrey:…Nothing.

Sam: Say what now?

Jeffrey: Like I said, this stupid spoiled whore thing is a fad that everyone is doing. If harems are a part of the fad, then I have to let it be and hope that my little girl is okay with it.

Sam: So you're just going to sit back and let this happen!?

Jeffrey: Pretty much, yeah.

Sam: You fool! (He grabs Jeffrey by the shoulders and starts shaking him) You don't know what kind of danger your daughter is in. I'm trying to protect her. Please, sir, for your daughters' safety, end her involvement in this crazy thing you call a fad. You you have to stop her! YOU HAVE TO STOP HER!

(Jeffrey ends up throwing Sam out of his house and closing the door behind him)

Sam: (Gets up) I probably overreacted.

Justin: (From behind him) Aww, poor baby.

(Sam turns and around and looks at Justin)

Sam: Justin!

Justin: So I guess you resorted to telling the girls' parents. Well I got news for you, buddy. It's no use! They'll all tell you that it's a fad, and they don't want their girls to be excluded. It doesn't matter how hard you try, but the end result will always be the same: You getting kicked out of their houses, and wind up defeated and alone.

Sam: Shut up! Just shut up you idiot!

Justin: Hey, hey, is that anyway to talk to your friend.

Sam: If you were really my friend, you'd listen to me and not go through with this!

Justin: It's my life, Sammy boy. You have no control over it. Speaking of my life, I think I may have found more potential participants for my harem.

Sam: Dare I ask, who?

Justin: (Takes out a list and clears his throat as he rattles off a list of girls) Bebe, Annie, Red, Heidi, Millie, Sally (Starts reading them faster and faster) Esther, Meagan, Emily, Nelly, Jenny, Lola, Nichole, not one but two Kellies! I'm getting them all, boy-o!

(Author's note: I know the likes of Nichole, Nelly, and Jenny didn't exist until later seasons, and this episode takes place in Season 8, but let's say for this fanfic anything goes)

Sam: I can't believe you! I seriously can't believe you, Justin! Do the girls at least know you plan on doing this?

Justin: No, I'd rather leave it as a surprise for them. And trust me when I say that girls love surprises!

Sam: No. No, this can't be happening!

Justin: (Laughs) It's happening! And I think I know when I'll make my move. Bebe is having a party this Friday since her parents are going out of town for some sort of high school reunion. And guess what, Bebe invited me.

Sam: No…

Justin: Yes! No parents plus trampy girls equals fun harem for me! I can't think of a more perfect math equation. Granted, Bebe did mention that they'd invite more boys, but I don't mind. I'll consider those boys an appetizer for them while I'm the main course! As long as they're not tired after dealing with those other losers, I'm a-okay! Now if you excuse me, Sammy boy, I have to go recruit more babes for my harem!

(He leaves and sings a parody of Hot Stuff by Donna Summer)

Justin: Looking for a harem! Baby on Friday! I need a harem! Baby that night! Getting a harem! Baby that evening! Have to get a harem! Gonna get some love that night!

Sam: What can I do now?

(Just then, Wendy comes up from behind him)

Sam: Wendy, it's you!

Wendy: Hey, Sam. How's it going?

Sam: Not good. I tried talking to Mr. Stevens about Bebe's behavior.

Wendy: How did it go?

Sam: Not well. What's going on with you?

Wendy: I just got back from Jessie and Kal's place. They're a part of the whore fad too. For all I know, they could be making a sex tape at this very moment.

Sam: Yikes. So what do we do now? All of the girls are acting like total harlots, and Justin is getting a harem put together as we speak.

Wendy: There's only one person I know that can take down this fad properly.

Sam: Who?

Wendy: Follow me.

(Sam and Wendy go to the Testaburger Residence. The two kids look through the window to find Doug Testaburger and his wife watching The Price is Right on T.V)

Wendy: Okay, follow my lead and act real cool.

Sam: Got it! I'll be cool as a cucumber!

(Wendy takes out her house keys, unlocks the front door, and enters the house. Wendy and Sam walk up to her parents, and Sam is walking up to them like a Team Skull grunt (Wendy did say to act real cool))

Sam: Yo, yo, what's up my peeps!

Wendy: (Whispers) Not that cool.

Sam: Sorry, I'll tone it down a bit for you.

Doug: Hey there, Wendy. Hey there, Sam.

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Nice to see you.

Doug: So what's up, kids?

Wendy: See, I'm growing concerned about the role models that young women have in today's society.

Doug: (Too into his show) Is that right?

Wendy: Yeah. It seems that lewdness and shallowness is being exalted while intellectualism is looked down upon.

Doug: (Still watching his show)…Gosh.

Wendy: I think young women are being marketed to by corrupt, moral-less corporations.

Sam: And the end result is disastrous. Nothing but harems and sadness for the girls down the road.

Doug: Well, we'll get right on fixing that, kids. Do you two want to watch the Price is Right with us?

(Wendy and Sam are falling silent)

Wendy: Excuse us for one moment.

(The two kids go into the kitchen)

Sam: Your father seems unfazed by this all.

Wendy: I know. He's usually all fired up about stuff like this. But this time, nothing.

Sam: (Looks at them in the living room) I wouldn't be surprised if it's because of the T.V. Let's unplug it!

Wendy: No, that won't work. Trust me.

Sam: Well, I have another idea then. Let's say something that'll trigger him.

Wendy: What could possibly trigger him at a time like this?

(Sam whispers in Wendy's ear his plan. After that, the two kids head back into the living room)

Wendy: Dad?

Doug: Yes, sweetie?

Wendy: There's a new store at the mall called "Stupid Spoiled Whore" and…..and…

Doug: What is it, sweetie?

Wendy: I….I….

Sam: (Chimes in) I'm thinking about buying her a thong!

Doug: WHAT!? (He gets up from the couch and throws a Bible that was sitting on the coffee table right at Sam, who dodges out of the way)

Sam: She asked me to! Don't take it out on me!

Doug: Is that true, Wendy?

Wendy: (Sighs as she realizes she has to go along with the lie) Yeah.

Doug: Well, no daughter of mine is going to dress like a whore! We're going down to that store right now, young lady! Both of you, into the car, let's go!

(Doug grabs his keys)

Wendy: Are you okay, Sam?

Sam: Yeah, I'm okay. But that's how you trigger someone like your father. Piece of cake.

Wendy: Yeah, we got phase 1 completed. Now hopefully dad will talk with the manager and have the store shut down. And if that doesn't happen, then it's time to bust out the strikes, boycotts, and picket signs. And if that doesn't work…I don't what's going to happen.

Doug: (Honks the horn of his car) COME ON!

(The two kids hurry outside so Doug can take them to the mall)

(At the mall)

Doug: (Holding Wendy's hand so she doesn't get lost as they walk through the mall as Sam is trying his best to catch up to them)

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Can you hold my hand? I'm having a hard time keeping up.

Doug: Not a chance. You're trying to turn my daughter into a whore. (Under his breath) Who does he think he is walking into my house like a damn gangster and talking slick, trying to give my daughter a thong. He must be out of his damn mind.

Sam: (To himself) I'm starting to question whether my method to light a fire in his belly was a smart one.

(They arrive at the store. They enter and Doug is shocked at what he sees. From the products to the girls that are around dressing like whores. Suffice it to say, it shocked him)

Doug: Oh my god! What is this place?

Sam: Mr. Testaburger. Welcome to hell. A.K.A: Stupid Spoiled Whore.

(The group goes deeper into the store. Meanwhile, Justin is in one of the aisles looking over his list)

Justin: 22….23….24….25 cute girls ready to ride the Justin Express on a one way trip to Pleasure Town! I think that's a pretty decent harem if I do say so myself. Now to prepare for the night! (Looks at some costumes) I'm thinking about role playing. Should I have them be the caring nurses wanting to treat their ever so handsome patient? Or have them be the horny school girls who are craving the love and caress of their amazing teacher. Decisions, decisions, decisions.

(Just then, he sees Doug, Wendy, and Sam approach Bebe, Annie, and their mothers)

Justin: What is Sammy boy up to this time?

(With the trio, Doug goes up to Annie's mother)

Doug: Mrs. Knitts! Are you seriously going to buy this stuff for your daughter?

Mrs. Knitts: Well, I don't want my little girl to be the only one not in a trend. She'll be unpopular.

Doug: Unpopular?! If she's not a whore?! That has to be the dumbest thing I've ever heard! These are our girls that we're talking about. Where is the manager! I demand to speak with him at once!

Sam: (In his head) What in the world makes him think the manager is a man?

(Bebe's mom steps forward and speaks up)

Mrs. Stevens: I think it's empowering for them, Doug. I mean, if a man wants to be a whore it's normal, but if a woman wants to be one it's wrong!

(Justin enters the scene)

Justin: And when a man pees standing up it's normal. However, when a woman does it it's weird! Or what about when a man wants to shave his privates, it's okay. But when a women does it, it's strange.

Sam: What are you saying, Justin?

Justin: I'm saying that women have been put down for so long, and they deserve some kind of empowerment.

Doug: But…but!

(Just then two teen girls, one wearing jean shorts and a pink tank top and another wearing a sleeveless blue sweatshirt and black skirt, go up to him)

Pink tank top girl: Don't worry your pretty little head about it. (Starts caressing him) All the girls in South Park are going to be total sluts from now on, so get used to it!

Blue sweatshirt girl: (Twerks against him) Yeah, what she said. By the by, mister, can you buy me that purse over there. I'll do anything since I'm a slut!

Doug: (Blushing hard and getting a nosebleed) Well, uh, sure. I can buy you a purse.

Sam: WHAT!?

Wendy: Dad!

Doug: (Wipes blood from his nose) No, kids, I think they're right. You see, you have to believe in the rights of women. For too long they have been forced to live a double standard. I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, Wendy. And I'm sorry for throwing a bible at you, Sam. (Tosses Sam a fifty dollar bill, and he looks on it in confusion) Go buy my daughter the best thong you can find and then some!

Sam: What is happening right now?

Doug: Wendy, from now on you can have whatever you want from this store. I will help you make you the stupidest and most spoiled whore of them all!

Females: Hooray!

Justin: Yes!

Wendy & Sam: No….

(Doug, Wendy, and Sam get ready to leave the store, but Justin stops Sam before he goes anywhere)

Justin: Nice try, Sammy! Trying to get someone like him on your side. But it wasn't enough. I'm going to get my harem whether you like it or not.

Sam: (Flips him off with a look of anger and sadness, and he leaves)

Justin: Real mature.

Annie: (From a distance) Oh, Justin! Can you tell me how I look in this new necklace?

Justin: Coming sweetness!

(In the mall's food court, Wendy and Sam are sitting on a bench waiting for Doug to bring back ice cream from Baskin-Robins)

Sam: I don't know what else we can do. Wendy, do you have any bright ideas.

Wendy: (Sighs) I'm afraid that I have none.

Sam: But, Wendy. You always have the best ideas. Between the two of us, you're the brains.

Wendy: I'm sorry. I just have no ideas left to give.

Sam: Well what are we going to do then?

Wendy: I didn't want to have to do this. But if my father couldn't help us, I know we're fucked.

Sam: What are you going to do?

Wendy: I'm going to give in to conformity.

Sam: You don't mean…

Wendy: Yes. I'm going to submit to this trend and go down gracefully. I might not know how to act like a whore, but I do know how they dress. You know, relaxed clothing, make up, all of that. That part shouldn't be too hard.

Sam: I can't believe it. The Wendy I know would never give up! She'd go down fighting to her last breath! Well guess what! I'm going to take care of this! (Gets up from his seat) I'm going to tell Sir Justice about what's happening. If these girls won't listen to your father, maybe they'll listen to him!

Wendy: Sam…

Sam: Save it, Wendy! I won't let you conform to this whore-ifying fad…pun entirely intended!

(He leaves as Doug comes back with three ice cream sundaes)

Doug: Where's your friend off to, sweetie?

Wendy: He had something important to do, I guess.

(Back at the Cooper Residence, nighttime has fallen, and Sam busts into his room, undresses from his street clothes, and gears up in his Sir Justice costume)

Sam/Sir Justice: Duty calls, and Sir Justice answers!

(He opens his bedroom window and jumps out of the window, jumping on his trampoline, flips in the air a few times, and sticks the landing. It's at that moment when he sees Red, Bebe, and Annie walking down the street with Justin. Sam/Sir Justice jumps in front of the four and stops them)

Justin: (In his mind) For crying out loud. What is he doing now?

Bebe: Who is this guy?

Sam/Sir Justice: Ladies! Why are you dressed like this!

Red: Whoever he is, he clearly hasn't heard of the stupid spoiled whore fad.

Justin: (Pretending now to know who he is) Excuse me sir, but what are you doing?

Sam/Sir Justice: I am the defender of all that is good! I am the bane of anything sinful! My name is Sir Justice!

Annie: Sir Justice? Hey you're that guy that saved Cartman, Kyle, Stan, and Kenny!

Sam/Sir Justice: Glad to know that someone recognizes me for my heroic deeds. Anyway, you are dressed like that because of a trend?

Bebe: That's right.

Sam/Sir Justice: I've heard about the SSW Trend you all speak of from a devoted fan of mine, Samuel Cooper.

Annie: You know, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: We're practically related! Like brothers, see? Anywho, those clothes are sinful, and your actions are just as whore-endous…pun definitely intended! If you girls continue down the path you're heading, it will lead to STDS, pregnancies, and maybe even your own untimely deaths! I recommend you get out of those ridiculous clothes, and get away from that boy! (Points at Justin)

Justin: Me?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes, you! Girls, Sam told me something awful about this guy. Did you know that he plans to have a harem with you all?

Red: A harem?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes. He's going to have his way with you and all of your friends. This boy is bad news!

Annie: Is that true.

Justin: (Sigh) That's right.

(Red, Bebe, and Annie appear to get angry)

Bebe: Why you!?

Red: How could you! I thought we could trust you, Justin.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to himself) I did it! I saved the girls! Mission accomplished!

Justin: Now girls, hear me out.

Annie: What you are doing has to be the most…..(Three girls have a change their moods from angry to happy) awesome thing you could ever do!

Justin: Huh?

Sam/Sir Justice: WHAT!

Annie: I can just imagine. A harem with all of us!

Red: You could've told us, Justin.

Bebe: You shouldn't keep surprises or secrets from us.

Justin: Well, I guess I wasn't thinking properly.

Sam/Sir Justice: This isn't what I expected. But girls, please listen to me!

Bebe: Save it Sir Justice! We're out of here. Come on, everyone!

(Bebe leaves with Red following her, Annie following Red, and Justin following Annie. Sam/Sir Justice looks at them as they leave, and Justin turns back and flips Sam off, causing him to growl in anger)

(Later that evening, Sam is trying to get some sleep, but he keeps wriggling and writhing under his covers. He is having a bad dream)

(In the bad dream)

Sam: (Wandering the streets of a monochrome South Park. The only thing that's colorful is himself and any other people. As he is wandering, he sees a baby carriage in the middle of the street. He runs up to it and sees a baby with blonde hair and blue eyes, similar to Bebe's. The baby is cooing and giggling, reaching out for Sam) A baby? But whose is it?

Bebe: Hey! Back off from my baby!

(Bebe smacks Sam hard on the face leaving a red mark)

Sam: Bebe…you're a mother?

Bebe: I don't want you to talk to me or my son ever again, you creep!

Sam: Who did this to you?

Bebe: Justin. Who else? Hmph! Justin, that freaking deadbeat. I should've never had that harem with him if I knew that this was the price to pay (She leaves with the baby).

Sam: No! (He runs through the town, and sees Annie on her knees crying in the middle of the street. He runs up to her to see what's wrong) Annie, what's the matter?

Annie: (Snivel) Take a look. (She takes out a piece of paper and it reads that she tests positive for HIV)

Sam: Annie, no!

Annie: Yes. I don't know what I'm going to do. But I know who to blame for this…(Cue Skyward Scream) FUCK YOU JUSTIN!

Sam: Oh please, no! (He sees a funeral service at the cemetery across the street, and he checks it out. He pushes his way to the front of the crowd to see a gravestone that reads, "R.I.P Red." Sam begins to cry) Oh no, it's Red! What happened to her!?

Mourner: You didn't hear? She committed suicide. After that harem, she thought that all she was good for was sex. Because of that, she got depressed and lost any and all hope to live, and she hung herself.

Sam: Oh my god, no!

(He runs from the funeral and heads for a street corner, and sees Wendy in a slutty dress talking with a hooded guy)

Sam: (Runs up to Wendy) Wendy, what are you doing?

Wendy: I'll deal with you in a moment, Sam. I'm with another customer.

(The customer lifts his hood and it's Justin)

Justin: Hey there, Sammy boy!

Sam: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Sam wakes up from his nightmare to the sound of an alarm clock. Sam turns it off and looks around the room, panting. He then covers his face with his hands and cries into them)

(Later that day in school, Sam is at his locker loading his backpack with his books. He has a look of worry on his face. Today was the day Bebe was going to have her party. If he didn't stop the girls or Justin today, who knows what would happen from there. He closes his locker and sees Wendy come up to him all depressed. She's wearing a blue tank top with the word, "Party" on it, blue jeans and some lip gloss)

Sam: Hey, Wendy.

Wendy: (Hugs Sam)

Sam: What's wrong?

Wendy: I tried to get into Bebe's whore party, but they said I wasn't stupid, spoiled, or whorish enough to take part in it.

Sam: So fuck them. You don't need to act like a whore to impress them. I like you just the way you are. That's all that matters

Wendy: Sam, you're being kind, and I appreciate that. But, no, this is something I have to do. I've decided to learn how to become a whore from the best.

Sam: Who is that?

Wendy: You remember Mr. Garrison, my teacher?

Sam: Yeah?

Wendy: Well, he has a boyfriend named Mr. Slave. I figured he can teach me how to be a filthy whore so I can be accepted.

Sam: Wendy, you don't have to do this.

Wendy: I know. But if I ever want to fit in then…

Sam: FUCK FITTING IN! I thought you were a perfect person. You don't need to be like those other bitches! In fact, I'm going to find them and give them a piece of my mind, and so I can end this shitty trend!

(He storms off and Wendy leaves the scene, still hoping to find Mr. Slave)

(In another part of the school, he sees Annie, Bebe, Red, and two other girls, Millie and Sally inviting guys to the party)

(Millie is wearing a green one piece swimsuit and black eye shadow)

(Sally is wearing a lavender crop top with a matching skirt and shoes)

Sally: Hey, here comes Clyde!

(Clyde walks by)

Bebe: Clyde, there's a party tonight at my house tonight at 7:00. You're invited!

Clyde: Cool, I'll be there!

Milly: Mmm-Mmm-MMM! I'd like a piece of that!

Red: Yeah, I want to do him!

(Clyde blushes hard and gets a nosebleed)

Annie: Here comes Kyle!

(Kyle walks by)

Kyle: Hey, girls.

Sally: Yeah, talk to me kosher boy!

Millie: I sure would like to twizel his pixie stick!

Sam: (To himself) There they are!

(Token walks by next)

Bebe: Now here's what I'm talking about! A little midnight blue!

Token: Say what?

Millie: I'd like to wax his crankshaft!

Sam: (To himself) I just need to figure out how I can shut them down before any harm can come to both themselves and Wendy.

(Tweek and Craig walk by)

Annie: Tweek and Craig! That'll be a great threeway! (Blushes) I'm getting spit roasted tonight! I know it!

Sam: (To himself) But I've tried just about everything to get them to stop. What else haven't I tried?

(Cartman walks by next, hoping that he gets invited)

Cartman: (Imitating a girls' voice) Hey look, there's Cartman! We should totally invite him to the party for sure!

(No response from the girls)

Cartman: (Imitating Bebe) Hey, Millie, don't you want to lick on Cartman's lollipop? (Now imitating Millie) Oh, totally! I bet it's as big and juicy as mama's skirt steaks!

Millie: Boy, I wouldn't lick your lollipop even if it meant it would grant me eternal life and bring in a new era of world peace.

Cartman: (Heartbroken) Oh yeah, well…..Fuck you Annie! Fuck you Millie! Fuck you Bebe! Fuck you Red! And fuck you Sally, you bitch!

(He leaves, and Sam sees that Cartman's little curse out rattled the girls a little bit)

Sam: (To himself) That's it! I've got to be mean! If I act mean towards those girls, they'll feel bad about themselves and want to get rid of those outfits. It's a sure thing! I don't like to be the bad guy, though, and my parents always told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all, but what other choice do I have? Okay, here I go!

(Sam leaves his hiding place and tries to walk by the girls. Sure enough, they begin hitting on him)

Sally: (Cat calls) Hey there sexy boy!

(Sam stops right in front of them)

Bebe: There's a party tonight at my house, Sam, and you're invited.

Millie: I'd like to nibble on his hot dog!

Annie: You and me both!

Sam: (Unfazed) Uh-huh. Interesting.

Bebe: Something wrong, Sammy? (Takes out a box of chocolates) Have some of Paris Hilton's new candies: "French Kisses"

Voice: French Kisses…

Sam: (To himself) If I hear that voice one more time, I'm going to scream! (Out loud) Thanks for the offer, Bebe. But I'm fine. I just have something I wanted to tell you girls.

Red: What is it?

Sam: (To himself) Okay, here we go. (He takes a deep breath and lets loose) Red that outfit is stupid as hell! The colors fucking clash and it's a big eyesore! You're a big eyesore, especially with that glossy hair that's so blinding I can almost not see how ugly you look! And why are you wearing an orange bikini top if you have no boobs to show it off in, Ms. Tiny Tits!

(Red is shocked and Millie is next)

Sam: Millie, why are you wearing that! Are you going swimming!? It's the middle of March! It's still too cold to go swimming! And if you're not dressed to go swimming, then what are you, a Poison Ivy cosplayer? You are no Poison Ivy, girl! You wish you can be as awesome as her, you fucking scrublord!

(Millie is shocked and Bebe is next)

Sam: Bebe, what even is your hair! Those highlights make you look like a reject pokemon! You look like a Pidgey! No, a Pidgeot! No…YOU LOOK LIKE A PIDGEOTTO!

(Bebe is shocked and Annie is next)

Sam: Annie, what even is your wardrobe! I can't tell if you're supposed to be a New Orleans citizen during Mardi Gras, an Egyptian princess, or a Latina wannabe pop star, but you look awful! If those were the three styles you were going for, then you fail on every single front!

(Annie is shocked and Sally is last)

Sam: And finally, Sally! I just flat out hate your outfit because it looks boring! You're boring, and I never want to hang out with you.

(Sally is shocked)

Sam: So, what do you girls think?

(There is a silence and then…)

WHAM! POP! BANG! POW! THWUMP!

(The five girls punch and kick Sam square in the face, sending him flying into a wall)

Red: Fuck you too!

Annie: Yeah, not cool!

Millie: Your words pierce our hearts like thousands of knives.

Bebe: And just for that, you are un-invited to my party.

(The five girls leave)

Sam: Good! I never wanted to go to your stupid party to begin with! (To himself) Damn, that didn't work either! All it did was relieve stress from this bad situation. What's my next course of action? (He gets up and thinks for a while before saying this out loud…) YES! The whole reason the girls are acting like this is because that store exists. So if that's the case then the most logical thing to do would be to destroy the store! No more store means no more whore! (He looks at his watch and sees that it's almost 3:00) I only have four hours before the party begins! I don't know when this harem that Justin is raving about is going to happen, but if I had to guess, I'd say it'd be…uh?

(Suddenly Heidi is passing Sam and she overhears him)

(Heidi is wearing a white crop top and matching skirt and shoes, and she has blue eye shadow)

Heidi: 12:00 midnight.

Sam: Huh?

Heidi: Bebe says that her party is going to end at about 12:00 midnight, and that's when she said we're going to have our harem with this Justin dude. (Cue bedroom eyes) Do you plan on joining us? You know, in case Justin can't satisfy all of us?

Sam: Oh god no! Go away, just go!

(Heidi leaves)

Sam: 12:00 midnight. That means I have nine hours to destroy the store. I only need one! Closing time, that's when it goes down.

(Later that evening, around 10:00, the mall closes for the evening. The guards lock up the front doors, but that's not the entrance Sam, or rather Sir Justice, is going to use. When the guard leaves in his car, Sam/Sir Justice pops out from the bushes and looks at his watch)

Sam/Sir Justice: 10:00. 2 hours left. Like I said, I only need one.

(Sam heads for a nearby air vent and busts it open with a crowbar he got from home. Once its open, Sam crawls inside and moves freely throughout the store. In the vents, Sam pulls out a map of the mall that he printed out)

Sam/Sir Justice: If this map is correct, then Stupid Spoiled Whore should be to the right (Turn) left (Turn) left (Turn) right (Turn) right (Turn) right (Turn) left (Turn) and the fourth vent on the right (Turn)

(Sam makes it to a dead end and looks down underneath to see the store. He them maneuvers his body so his feet are facing the vent door and he kicks it loose allowing him into the store. Upon entering Stupid Spoiled Whore he looks around and pulls out his lightsaber toy)

Sam/Sir Justice: Enjoy your last moments of being in one piece you good for nothing products! Because I am going to destroy you all! FOR JUSTICE!

(Cue Party Up in Here by DMX)

(Y'all gon' make me lose my mind! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me go all out! Up in here, up in here!)

(Sam/Sir Justice is knocking all of the bottles of Skanque perfume off the shelves, causing them to shatter and break all over the floor)

(Y'all gon' make me act a fool! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me lose my cool! Up in here, Up in here!)

(Sam/Sir Justice it taking all of the Harlotte jewelry and stomping on them, causing them to break)

If I gotsta bring it to you cowards then it's gonna be quick, aight. All you men up in the jail before, suck my dick! And all them other cats you run with, get done with, dumb quick! How the fuck you gonna cross the dog with some bum shit?)

(Sam/Sir Justice is taking all of the clothes, throwing them in one area of the store. Then he takes some matches and lights the clothes on fire, making sure to stomp the fire out once all that remained were ashes)

(There go the gun click, 911 shit! All over some dumb shit, ain't that some shit? Y'all niggas remind me of a strip club, 'cause everytime you come around it's like what? I just gotta get my dick sucked)

(Sam/Sir Justice takes the French Kisses candy, eats a few, enjoys them, and then throws them all on the ground to stomp on them until they are chocolate dust)

(Y'all gon' make me lose my mind! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me go all out! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me act a fool! Up in here, up in here! Y'all gon' make me lose my cool! Up in here, up in here!)

(Sam/Sir Justice is pushing down shelves and breaking all of the mannequins. At one point, he gets carried away, removes his falcon mask, and makes out with one of the mannequins)

(One, two! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! All my Ruff Riders! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside!)

(Sam/Sir Justice is using his paintball guns to write his logo, the letters S and J, on the wall and he's laughing all the while)

(All my big ballers! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside!)

(Sam/Sir Justice is looking at the ruined store, proud of his vandalism)

(All my fly ladies! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! All my street street people! Meet me outside! Meet me outside! Meet me outside, motherfucker!)

(Sam/Sir Justice takes a selfie with his phone of the destruction and he's giving the victory sign and smiling)

Sam/Sir Jusitce: (Looks at the picture) Stupid Spoiled Whore is Stupid Spoiled No More!

(Song fades out)

(Sam, still dressed as Sir Justice, is running down the street to Bebe's house)

Sam/Sir Justice: All I have to do now is show the girls this picture. Once they see the destruction I've caused, they'll realize that there are people against this store. Hopefully they'll learn the error of their ways if their favorite store is being attacked. They'll realize that girls shouldn't be whores like Paris Hilton if they see her store is a wreck. This has to work! It just has to!

(As he runs, he manages to catch up to Wendy, now back in her regular clothes, and Mr. Slave)

Sam/Sir Justice: Hey there, young citizen!

Wendy: (Turns around and sees Sir Justice) It's that Sir Justice guy! (To herself) Or…is it Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: Sam told me everything that has happened over the past few days. I couldn't live with myself if I knew the little girls of this town are running around like sex craved maniacs. Might I ask who this man is?

Wendy: This is Mr. Slave. He's my teacher, Mr. Garrison's, boyfriend.

Mr. Slave: Hey there.

Sam/Sir Justice: Nice to meet you!

(They both shake hands)

Mr. Slave: Oh! Jesus Christ! For a little boy you have a strong grip.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thanks. I work out. Anyway, Wendy, why did you decide not to continue being a whore?

Wendy: We'll talk on the way there.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at his watch to see that its 11:30) Good idea! We only have 30 minutes left before Justin gets his harem!

(The trio run at top speeds to Bebe's house)

Wendy: I originally went to Mr. Slave so he can teach me how to be a whore. But after listening to his life story, he told me that he can't make me into a whore, and some people are born lewd. I'm not one of those people.

Mr. Slave: And neither are those girls. They're being something that they're not!

Wendy: Exactly. And it was then he told me to be proud of who I am, and fuck what everyone else thinks.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to himself) No shit, that's what I was fucking talking about. (Out loud) I'm glad you've had a change of heart, little one. Me, I've decided to destroy Stupid Spoiled Whore. I figured if I got rid of the store, the girls would see it as a message that whorish behavior isn't tolerated and they'd stop.

Mr. Slave: Well, you're thinking outside the box. I'll give you that.

Sam/Sir Justice: Thank you, sir! All we have to do is shut this party down. For me, that's showing the girls the pictures I've taken of the store. For you, Mr. Slave, sir, do your own thing…you know your, talking thing that Wendy told me about.

Mr. Slave: You got it.

(Sam/Sir Justice looks at his watch and sees that its 11:45)

Sam/Sir Justice: Shake a leg! We only have 15 minutes left!

(The trio hurry to Bebe's house)

(Meanwhile, at Bebe's house, the party is raging on. Some guys are trying to mingle with a few girls, but some of the girls (The two Kellies, Red, Annie, Beth, Millie, and Bebe) come on too strong and are chasing some of the guys (Kyle, Kevin, Stan, Kenny, Craig, Tweek, and some kid in a blue hat). Justin on the other hand has a grand majority of the females eating out of the palm of his hand as he is singing Eurovision)

Justin: (Singing) You and me, can't you see we're playing with fire! Tell me now, do you feel this burning desire! Don't stop make it rock its taking us higher! Could it be just a dream…are you running away?!

(As the party rages on, the trio finally makes it to Bebe's house)

Sam/Sir Justice: We made it! And with five minutes to spare! Okay, stand back! JUSTICE JUMP KICK!

(Sam/Sir Justice kicks the door off its hinges and it flies right towards Justin, who promptly gets hit with it. He removes the door in anger)

Justin: (To himself) Grrr! I'm getting just a little bit annoyed with Sammy boy right about now!

(Everone's attention is drawn towards Sam/Sir Justice, Wendy, and Mr. Slave)

Sam/Sir Justice: Ladies! Lend me your ears, please! Your Stupid Spoiled Whore store is no more!

Annie: What are you talking about, you party foul!?

Sam/Sir Justice: This is what I'm talking about (Takes out his phone and shows the girls the photos of the destruction).

Bebe: Oh my god! What have you done!

Sam/Sir Justice: I've saved your asses! The citizens of South Park have called on me to take care of this store because they don't approve of this trend.

Annie: So you destroyed it!?

Sam/Sir Justice: Exactly.

Justin: (Steps up) You know what, superhero fuckface! You're really beginning to piss me off. You have about 10 seconds to get out of here or I'll see to it that you're breathing through a tube for the rest of your life! Do any of ladies want to see me teach this fool a lesson?

Girls: YEAH!

Justin: (Cracks his knuckles) Alright then.

Sam/Sir Justice: HOLD ON! Before you do battle with me, this man behind me has something to say.

(Mr. Slave steps up)

Mr. Slave: Well now. I've heard from little Wendy over here that you girls are having a Stupid Spoiled Whore Party.

Bebe: That's right. (Turns to Wendy) What did you do, Wendy? Did you rat on us because you weren't invited to my Paris Hilton party? She's not going to be impressed when she gets here.

Wendy: What do you mean when she gets here?

Bebe: I looked on the back of this French Kisses candy box and I saw an e-mail address where I can get in contact with Paris herself. I invited her to this party so she can see how cool I am, and maybe let me make a cameo on the next episode of her show.

Sam/Sir Justice: Seriously?

Bebe: Like I said, the only thing more important than being rich is being famous.

Mr. Slave: Well until she gets here, I just want to talk with you girls for a sec, okay? Listen. The last person you all want to be is Paris Hilton!

(Paris then enters the scene)

Paris: WOOO! Party! Where's do you all keep the vodka?

Mr. Slave: (Unaware of Paris' coming) Paris Hilton is a nobody. She may have money, but she's a thoughtless and talentless lowlife.

Paris: (Overhears) Who the fuck are you calling a lowlife, fag?

Bebe: (Squeals) Paris Hilton actually came to my party! (Faints)

Mr. Slave: Ms. Hilton, can you tell these girls that being a whore isn't such a great thing.

Paris: What isn't great about it? What's more to life than partying?

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's see: having a family, getting a job, graduating high school and then college.

Paris: Boring! And that was a rhetorical question you wannabe Marvel Comics superhero.

Red: Oh, get wrecked!

Mr. Slave: Look, girls, I've partied a lot in my day, and I'm telling you that there's more to life.

Paris: You don't even know what partying is, loser. (Cue hair flip)

Annie: Wow, what a bitch. I love it!

Mr. Slave: Listen, sweetie, I know you've done some partying in your private little rich life, but you don't even want to know the kind of shit I've done. I'm the real whore, and I'm telling you it isn't great.

Paris: Oh yeah?! Well then I challenge you to a whore-off!

Mr. Slave: Challenge accepted. How does town square tomorrow at high noon sound?

Paris: See you there.

(Paris does another hair flip and leaves)

Justin: (Begins to leave)

Bebe: Justin, where are you going?

Justin: It's getting late, babe, and I'm tired. Tell you what, ladies, we'll have our little harem tomorrow. (Points at Mr. Slave) In celebration of this old hag's defeat!

Girls: YEAH!

Justin: See you all tomorrow.

(Justin leaves and Wendy, Sam/Sir Justice, Mr. Slave follow)

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Slave, sir. You have to win this whore off! If you win, then maybe that'll be enough for the girls to realize that Paris Hilton isn't all that, and they'll go back to the way they were.

Wendy: You have to win this, Mr. Slave. There is no other option!

Mr. Slave: I'll do my best, kids.

Sam/Sir Justice: Do more than just your best. Give it 100 percent, no not even, give it 110 percent, no…OVER 9,000 PERCENT! That's how much is at stake here.

Mr. Slave: You can count on me.

(The next day, the whore off begins. High noon at South Park Town Square just like Mr. Slave said. In the middle of town square is a stage. On the stage is Paris Hilton on the left side and Mr. Slave on the right. An official comes up on stage and tests the microphone before speaking)

Official: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen! The South Park Chamber of Commerce is pleased to bring you the first annual, "Who is the Biggest Whore" Showdown!

(The crowd cheers. Justin is in the crowd and he has set up a lawn chair and sipping on a drink. Next to him are nine of the girls form the party last night (Heidi, Annie, Bebe, Red, Esther, Millie, the two Kellies, and Beth)

(Beth has black hair, and is wearing a black, pink, and white tube top, a hot pink skirt, and pink heels)

(Esther is wearing a green-and-black military patterned halter top, blue jeans, and black stiletto-heeled boots. She also has pink blush with blue eye shadow)

(The first Kelly, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter has blonde hair and pigtails, and is wearing a pink and black brassiere, a black tube top, blue miniskirt with white stars and a white line around it, black mascara, cyan eye shadow, two purple-beaded hair ties, and white shoes)

(The second Kelly, Kelly Rutherford-Menskin (She'll become important later in the story) has brunette hair, and is wearing a brown and black tank-top, black high-heels, a short, black skirt, a white fur scarf, dark purple eye shadow, and black mascara)

Bebe: Mr. Slave has no idea what he's in for.

Red: Yeah. Paris is going to rock his world.

Justin: For the sake of our harem, Paris better win. (He takes out more lawn chair from out of nowhere and offers them for the girls) Here are some more lawn chairs if your beautiful legs ever get tired.

Annie: Thanks, Justin.

Justin: My pleasure. (Takes out more drink bottles and buckets of popcorn) Have some snacks for the show too. I don't want you all going into the harem on an empty stomach.

Bebe: Where are you even getting all of this stuff from?

Justin: (Points at a booth not too far from him) There's a guy selling them over there for just a dollar each.

Vendor: WOOO! GO PARIS HILTON!

Justin: (Gives a thumbs up to the vendor) Yeah, rock on brother! (Turns back to the girls) So sit back and relax my ladies. This is going to be the greatest show on Earth.

(Meanwhile, Sam/Sir Justice is a top a building eyeing the competition with a pair of binoculars. He's looking at Justin)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justin…I've got my eye on you.

Official: I'm…not quite sure how we start his competition off but…

Paris: (Goes up to him) Here's how we start it off.

(Paris French kisses the official and grabs his crotch…causing the official's foot to pop straight up. This causes the crowd to go wild)

Justin: Give it to the man straight, Paris!

Official: 10 points for Paris!

Mr. Slave: (Stands in his corner just watching) Hmm…interesting.

Paris: (Hears the crowds' cheers) So you want more, eh? Okay, check this out!

(Paris takes out a pineapple and shoves it in her vagina in a matter of 5-10 seconds)

Paris: Ta-da!

(The crowd goes wild yet again)

Official: 10 more points!

Wendy: (Thinking to herself) Mr. Slave…

Sam/Sir Justice: (From the building he's on top of and he's thinking to himself) Hurry up and do something.

Wendy & Sam/Sir Justice: (Thinking to themselves) We can't have Paris Hilton win!

(Mr. Slave walks up to Paris. He moves her around until he's satisfied with her location, and he goes back to where he was on stage)

Justin: Okay, so what's this guy up to?

(Mr. Slave takes off his pants and takes a running leap towards Paris. He lands on her head and proceeds to swallow her up through his ass. He kept forcing her into his rectum until nothing was left)

Mr. Slave: Ohoho, wow! Jesus Christ!

(The girls and Justin are in complete shock as to what just occurred. The adults, boys, and Wendy cheer)

Sam/Sir Justice: (From atop the building, he looks through the binoculars, smirks and says…) Now that's a good whore (Continues to look through the binoculars).

Bebe: Huh. I guess Paris isn't such hot shit after all.

Red: I guess not. (Looks at her wardrobe as Bebe does so as well) These clothes really do look stupid.

Justin: (In his mind) No….no…..NO!

Official: And the winner is Mr. Slave!

(The crowd cheers)

Mr. Slave: (Takes the microphone from the official and makes a speech) People, don't applaud me. I'm a dirty whore. (The crowd shuts up) Being spoiled and stupid and whorish is supposed to be a bad thing, remember? Parents, if you don't teach your children that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised, where are they gonna learn it?! You have to be the- (Gets a small stomach ache) Ooohooho, Jesus Christ. You have to be the ones to make sure your daughters aren't looking up to the wrong people.

(Bebe's father, Jeffrey, speaks up)

Jeffrey: The homosexual is right. (Turns to his daughter) From now on, Bebe, you're going to dress like a little girl.

Bebe: Yes, daddy.

Jeffrey: Alright, we'll see you girls at home. (Gets ready to walk away) I believe you have to apologize to your little friend, Wendy.

(Everyone from the crowd, to the official, to Mr. Slave leaves to go about their day. The only remaining people in town square is Wendy, the girls, and a stunned Justin, who takes a quick glance over at the nine girls as they walk over to Wendy)

Justin: (In his mind) No…I will get my harem…one way….or another.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks at Justin from his position on top of the building and sees him looking right at the nine girls) Justin, what are you doing?

(Back on ground level, the girls apologize to Wendy)

Bebe: Wendy, we're sorry we called you names like: not-stupid and not-spoiled.

Red: Yeah, and I didn't mean to say you weren't a whore.

Millie: What we're trying to say is that we're sorry for treating you so terribly. We hope you can forgive us.

Wendy: (Smiles) Yeah. That's okay, you guys. I'm just glad that it's all over.

Justin: So I guess this means that the harem's off?

(The 10 girls see Justin staring at them with a pissed off expression)

Bebe: Yeah. Stupid Spoiled Whore party is over. It's all over, and so is our desire to get into a harem with you.

Annie: We're done with this shit.

Justin: You…you're done with this shit?

Annie: Yeah. Sorry, Justin, but now we think about it a harem is a bad idea. Not only that but I do not want to see my friends naked.

Justin: The harem was a great idea, and I'm still keen on doing it!

Red: No means no, Justin.

Justin: No means no? NO MEANS NO! I don't know who you cockteases think you are, getting me all excited for a harem, dressing up in those sexy outfits, and talking all kinds of slick, only for you lot to say that our little fun-time is over! I call bullshit!

Beth: (Gets scared) Uh, Justin, are you okay?

Justin: (Stomps his foot in a tantrum) I AM NOT OKAY!

Bebe: (Also gets scared) You know, thinking about it, there are plenty of fun things to do other than being a whore. How about we all play some video games, or go for a walk, or play an innocent game of...ping-pong...

Justin: I only have one thing on my mind and that's this harem! Now if one of you cunts don't get on your backs with pants and panties around your ankles, I'm going to have to take matters into my own hands...(Smirks evilly) if you catch my meaning!

(The 9 scantily dressed girls get really scared now, understanding the implications, but Wendy steps up to try and defend them)

Wendy: (Walks up to Justin) That's enough, Justin! Mr. Slave won fair and square, the Stupid Spoiled Whore trend has ended, and you've lost. You will not force youself upon my friends, do you hear me!? You're finished, and your little scheme is over!

Justin: I-It's over you say? (He reaches into his pocket for something…) Well I've got news for you, you fucking bitch! (And takes out a long chain) THIS ISN'T OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER!

Bebe: Wendy, look out!

Justin: CHAIN WHIPPING! RAAAAAHHH!

THWUMP!

(Justin hits Wendy hard in the face with his chain whip and she falls to the ground and is knocked unconscious)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Observing the debacle) Wendy! (He leaves his position to try and help)

(Cue Endless Despair from Blazblue series (Note: This is Justin's version))

(Back at town square Justin slowly advances towards the other nine girls)

Justin: Come on my ladies. Let's have our harem right here right now!

Millie: You stay away from us!

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin: Yeah, back off! W-We don't want you!

Justin: Come on! Now you girls don't want to make love to me? Why just last night you were all acting like frisky white rabbits during mating season…now you're all as frigid as the winter snow. Come on, let's pretend that Paris Hilton won the whore off! Let's go crazy! Let's go nuts! Let's lose our inhibitions and do each other until we pass out! (Laughs maniacally)

Heidi: What the hell is wrong with you? You're crazy!

Justin: What? Insanity doesn't turn you babes on? No? Well then…what about PAIN!

(Justin jumps up high in the air and takes out another chain, this one with a rock attached to the end of it)

Justin: HEAVY SLAM!

(He throws the chain right at them. The nine girls dodge the attack)

Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: (Runs into the forest) RUN AWAY! (The other eight girls follow her into the forest as Justin follows in after them)

Justin: Come back! I only want to play!

(Bizarre it's from start to end. Placed side by side, anguish and torment and exquisite pain. Bizarre it's running through me. Bleeding fool I'm your rapist. You're my victim offered to me! (Beg for your life! Do you think you'll be saved! Hah, what a fool, bye!))

(As Justin disappears into the forest, Sam/Sir Justice runs up to the unconscious Wendy. Coincidently, Doug Testaburger is on a grocery run and he sees his unconscious daughter. Causing him to drop his groceries and run to his daughter's aid)

Doug: Wendy! Wendy! (He holds his daughter in his arms and the two guys see the wound Justin left: A big gash on Wendy's right cheek that's dripping with blood) What happened?

Sam/Sir Justice: Justin happened.

Doug: That boy that was at Stupid Spoiled Whore the other day?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks into the forest) Yes. He's chasing the other girls into the forest. (He turns back to Doug) I'm going in there after him. In the meantime call the police and an ambulance for your daughter. If I'm not back in a half hour…I'm probably dead. Wish me luck.

(He runs at top speed into the forest)

(What is this? I'll rape you all just for fun and games. And in the most cruel way, to make love to you! What a shame. No escape! Even if you cry out, there's no one. Nothing but violence can tame my beast!)

(Meanwhile in the forest, the nine girls are still running away from Justin, who is in hot pursuit, especially since he's swinging from tree to tree with his chains like he's Spider Man)

Justin: (Laughing maniacally)

Esther: Stop chasing us! Leave us alone!

Justin: I'll leave you alone when I get what I want! And I think you know exactly what I want! (He laughs sadistically as he continues the chase) You know, I hear virgin girls like you bleed upon penetration. How about we stop and test that hypothesis to see if it's true!

(Red stops to pick up a rock)

Red: How about you fuck off!

(She throws the rock at him but he dodges out of the way)

Justin: 7.8/10, TOO MUCH FAIL! (Laughs maniacally and continues to chase after them) I don't know why you girls are resisting so much. This harem will be just like getting a needle: You won't like the idea of it, but it will all be over before you know it. (The girls continue to run) You little beauties can't keep running forever! Sooner or later you're all going to have to stop and take a breather. And when you do, I'll be there to exhaust you even more. Give up now while you still have a bit of energy. (They still keep on running) STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM ME AND TAKE IT LIKE THE SPOILED BRATS THAT YOU ARE! IF I WERE YOUR FATHERS, I WOULD PUT YOU OVER MY KNEE AND SPANK YOUR ASSES UNTIL THEY WERE RED! BEAT RED! BEAT RED!

(Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! And with a wonderful singing voice unbridled! Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, myself (Instrumental))

(The girls continue to run)

Beth: Keep running, girls! Don't look back!

Millie: (Speeds past them) Screw this! I'm leaving you all in the dust!

Bebe: Seriously!?

Millie: You know what they say: It's not about me outrunning the rapist, it's about me outrunning you! Nothing personal! (Turns a corner)

Annie: Wait for us!

(The other eight girls follow after her, but Justin follows them too)

Justin: (Giggling maliciously) I can smell you girls' perfume!

(Meanwhile, Sir Justice is trying to catch up)

Sam/Sir Justice: God! Please don't let me be too late! Let me at least catch Justin before he does what I think he plans on doing!

(He runs deeper into the forest. Meanwhile, the nine girls continue to run, but they come across a dead end in the form of a big rock wall)

Heidi: Oh no!

Bebe: It doesn't look like there's anything to grab onto, so we can't climb our way out!

Kelly Rutherford-Menskin: I don't see an exit door anywhere.

Red: This can't be happening! This is a nightmare! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE AND I CAN'T WAKE UP!

Esther: We are literally and figuratively fucked!

Justin: Hello down there! (The nine girls turn around to see Justin on top of a tree. He jumps down and sticks the landing) End of the line, my little bunny rabbits!

The girls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! And with a wonderful singing voice unbridled! Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, myself)

Justin: YES! And might I say you picked a wonderful spot for our harem. Nothing says, "Let's hump," like the sounds of nature (Chuckles evilly). Seems like I have you cornered, while you are all hopeless! Hopeless and alone...

Millie: (Recognizing Justin's last bit of his monologue) Is he seriously choosing now of all times to quote Flowey from Undertale?!

Justin:...And the best part of this is that the likes of Sir Justice or that Wendy girl can't save you now… (He notices something)

(The girls look like they're about to cry due to stress)

Justin: Don't cry. I promise I'll be gentle…mostly! As I was saying, no one is going to help you girls now. And if you don't believe me, call for help. Go on, I dare you! But I can almost promise you that nobody else…(Cue Kubrick Stare with evil grin) IS GONNA GET TO SEE US FUCK!

Annie: Please no…

(Wailing, wailing a loud cry. Of pain or rage or sorrow! With a wonderful singing voice I was beside myself, from start to end!)

Justin: IT'S RAPIN' TIME! (Takes out six chains from his pockets) CHAIN CAPTURE! (He throws his chains and wraps the nine girls up in his chains) My catch of the day! (Starts pulling them towards him) Now I'll just reel in the fish and give them my worm! (Laughs evilly as the nine girls try and struggle to get out, but to no avail)

(As Justin pulls the nine girls closer to him, Justin hears a scream coming from his left side. It's Sir Justice)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Comes out of the bushes) JUSTICE PUNCH! (Punches him hard in the face, causing him to let go of the chains)

Bebe: Hey, it's that Sir Justice guy from my party!

(Cue Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)

Sam/Sir Justice: Are you girls okay?

Annie: Now that you're here.

Sam/Sir Justice: Great. You girls find a place to hide. I'll take care of this guy.

(Without saying another word, the nine girls run away and hide in some bushes)

Justin: Well then, I guess we have a fight to end all fights: Two of the Houston Five are about to duke it out mono-e-mono. I love it!

Sam/ Sir Justice: Sir Justice vs. The One Man Chain Gang: The Battle of Ages.

Justin: I've been wanting to do this ever since you nosed your way into my business.

Sam/Sir Justice: And I've been wanting to do this since you came up with this ridiculous harem idea!

Justin: Enough talking! Let's fight!

(Justin lunges at Sam/Sir Justice. He dodges and runs away into the woods. Justin chases after him)

Justin: Quit running away and fight me like a man!

(The nine girls follow the two as they continue their fight in a meadow)

(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin')

Justin: (Takes out the chain with a rock) Heavy Slam!

(He swings it and Sam/Sir Justice cartwheels out of the way and pulls out his paintball guns)

Sir Justice/Sam: Paintball Barrage!

(He fires his paintballs at Justin, but…)

Justin: Chain Barrier!

(He whips his chains around himself fast, creating a barrier, and not letting a single paintball get through)

Sir Justice/Sam: Damn!

(Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history)

Justin: Chain Whipping! (He takes out a chain and hits him in the hip with it. Sam quickly recovers and pulls out his slingshot and water balloons)

Sir Justice/Sam: Rapid Fire Aqua Grenade!

(He fires five water balloons)

Justin: Chain Whipping! (He knocks the water balloons out of the sky)

(You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm not so intrigued, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream. If it ain't proper its incomplete,You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream (Instrumentals and remixed voices))

Sir Justice/Sam: Rapid Fire Aqua Grenade!

(He fires ten water balloons this time)

Justin: That move again? So predictable, Sammy boy! Chain Whipping! (He knocks the water balloons out of the sky, but as he does, he's not paying attention to Sam who is coming at him full force)

Sam/Sir Justice: Justice Jump Kick!

(He kicks Justin right in the chest and knocks him right on his ass)

Justin: Okay, fuck this!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Comes charging at him again) Justice Punch!

Justin: (Takes out six chains before Sam can even make it to him) Chain Capture!

(Justin throws his chains and captures Sam/Sir Justice. He then throws him up in the air and tosses him down on the ground hard)

Justin: Had enough?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm just getting started! (Takes out his water gun) Mach 2 Water Jet!

(He fires a blast of water, but Justin dodges quickly. Sam fires more rounds from his water gun, but Justin keeps dodging)

Sam/Sir Justice: Stay still!

(He fires again, but this time when Justin dodges, the water jet hits the nine girls in the background)

Bebe: Hey, watch it!

Sam/Sir Justice: Sorry!

Justin: Normally I fawn over seeing wet girls. But not this time because I have an annoying little shit like you to beat up! (Takes out his rock chain) Heavy Slam!

(He throws it down and Sam/Sir Justice dodges out of the way. He hides in deep grass)

Justin: You can't hide from me!

(He grabs two chains)

Justin: Chain Tornado!

(Not enough for me to satisfy,Any mistakes? Let's clarify. Let's post it to classify,
Find your bad and BOOM BAP BAP, Do it together with my entourage, Please stick your head in the back of the garage, I'm gonna have a sale and sell you cheap, Please get out, you're out of my league! (More remixed voices and instrumentals)

(Justin starts spinning and mowing down the grass, he eventually finds Sam/Sir Justice)

Justin: Peekaboo! (He jumps up and takes out his rock chain (I'm just gonna call it his ball and chain from now on) Heavy Slam!

(He hits Sam/Sir Justice in the back with his ball and chain causing him to scream in pain. Meanwhile, the nine girls are looking on, worried about Sir Justice's safety. Bebe is the first to come out and help)

Red: Bebe, what are you doing?

Bebe: I'm helping this guy out! He was brave enough to fight for us, and he's in danger. I'm going to return the favor.

Annie: I'm with you, Bebe.

Heidi: Me too.

Red: I guess I am too.

(The nine girls hurry to the battlefield)

(You still don't understand the man that your stinging, I ain't playin'. No more trainin'. Losing; it ain't easy to get back, You know what I'm sayin'. Hit your face with a big back slap. Click the cap and go Blap Blap Blap. Everything you touch will go flat, You know? Somehow people figure I'm in it (more remixed voices and instrumentals))

(Sam/Sir Justice falls on his knees)

Justin: (Looks down on him) It's time to end this! Chain Whipping! (He throws his chain back, but notices its caught on something) Huh? (He turns around to see the nine girls grabbing on to the other end of the chain) Hey, let go!

Annie: You leave Sir Justice alone you big jerk!

Bebe: Get ready girls! Pull!

(The girls try and pull the chain away from Justin who is holding onto his end for dear life)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Is moved by the girls' act of heroism) Girls…

Justin: I said…let…go!

(He pulls the chain hard and the girls let go of their end of the chain)

Justin: You bitches are gonna get it now! (The girls gasp) Chain Whip- (Gets cut short by a swift punch from Sam/Sir Justice causing him to let go of his chain)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Pins him down)

(Sir Justice you know how it is, Hate to dismiss any mistake, If it ain't right then you must be kiddin', Joke's mislead because you now slippin'. Oh believe my dedicated fix, Simply blast it, it ain't a trick, Just one click, then a second click, Rest is oh my goodness you're history. You don't really need a history, to entry, just then I'm that soul retreat, Don't get it wrong sir, I'm a sweet treat, BANG BANG BANG BANG, have a nice dream, If it ain't proper its incomplete, You might give a shimmer because you like the heat. Stop takin' chances, it's real steep, Watch where you step, because I'm gonna scream.)

Sam/Sir Justice: How would you girls like to help me finish this schmuck off?

(The girls nod their heads with smiles on their faces)

Sam/Sir Justice: Good. Hand me that chain, and let's tie him up!

(The girls and Sam/Sir Justice tie Justin up with his own chain. When Justin realizes what's happening, he starts to wriggle and sqirum)

Millie: How do you like getting wrapped up in chains, buster?

Justin: I'm gonna get you all for this!

Sam/Sir Justice: Blah, blah, blah! Let's end this! Ready girls?

Girls: Ready!

Sam/Sir Justice: On the count of three, we throw him high in the air with all of our might. Are you ready? 1…2…3!

(The 10 kids throw Justin high in the air causing him to scream)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Takes out his paintball guns) You girls might want to stand back for this one.

(He aims the paintball guns skyward and there are lights on them that start blinking)

Sam/Sir Justice: (In his mind) This is for Wendy. (Out loud) SPLATTER BLASTER!

(He pulls the triggers fires two large streams of paint, one blue and one red from his guns and it hits Justin hard)

Justin: AHHHHHH! YOU'LL ALL PAY BIG TIIIIIIIIMMMEEEEE!

(Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream! Bang! Bang! Bang! Have a Nice Dream!)

(The blast was so tall and huge it could be seen back in town where Doug was. Doug is looking into the sky at the colorful blast)

(Back at the meadow, Justin hits the ground hard and is covered in red and blue. Some paint is raining down on our heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice: And that's a wrap.

Justin: (Cough) The paint….is in every….hole. (Passes out)

Heidi: I didn't even know they made paintball guns like that.

Sam/Sir Justice: I have a lot of free time on my hands so I have time to modify my paintball guns to however I see fit.

(The paint rain stops)

Bebe: Wow, Sir Justice, you saved us.

Sam/Sir Justice: You girls saved me as well. If that Chain Whipping hit me, I would've been a goner.

(He walks up to Justin's unconscious body and hauls it over his shoulders)

Sam/Sir Justice: Come on. Let's get back to town so we can turn this guy in and get you girls home safe and sound.

(The 10 kids head back to town square. Upon getting there, the sun is beginning to set. The nine girls see their families waiting anxiously for them and they run up to them for a hug. Sam/Sir Justice puts the unconscious Justin away in a police car and it takes off for the station. After that, he looks and sees a conscious Wendy in an ambulance getting stitches for her gash as her father holds her hand. Sam/Sir Justice runs up to her)

Sam/Sir Justice: Little citizen! I'm so glad that you're okay!

Wendy: Yeah, I'm doing a-okay…Sam.

Sam/Sir Justice: Uh, who is this Sam character you're talking about? I mean, he's a friend of mine, but I'm not him.

Wendy: (Sarcastically) Uh-huh, sure you are. (Normal tone of voice) But I guess you saved the day. You and Mr. Slave.

(The doctor puts on the last stitch and patches them up with a bandage)

Doug: Because of both of your actions, the Stupid Spoiled Whore trend died out, and another scumbag is behind bars. I heard about how you took down that Trent Boyett kid. First him and now Justin. You're on a roll, aren't you?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, I try.

(Just then, the same chubby guy with grey hair from last episode's ending comes up to him)

Man: Excuse me, are you Sir Justice?

Sam/Sir Justice: Yes I am, citizen.

Man: My name is Edmund P. Guess: The head chairman of the Guess Clothing Company.

Doug: Really?

Edmund: We at the Guess Clothing Company heard about your exploits here in South Park. And if there's one thing people love more than whores, it's superheroes. Not only because they look cool, but also because they have a good moral standard and are even better role models. So now that Paris Hilton is no more, we want to know if you'd sign this document that allows us to make a new store, "Store Justice." We'll sell everything from clothes, action figure, you name it. And the best part is you get half of the profit. What do you say?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Grins at this opportunity)

(A few days later at the South Park Mall, Wendy is looking at the new store, "Store Justice," which replaced Stupid Spoiled Whore. Sam, now in his normal clothes, comes up to her)

Sam: Hey, Wendy. How are your stitches doing?

Wendy: They're coming along. Doctors say that I'll be able to remove them in another week or so.

Sam: Good. (He looks at the store with her) Talk about a lucky break. Sir Justice gets his own store.

Wendy: You mean you're getting your own store.

Sam: I don't know what you're talking about. Honestly.

Wendy: (Shrugs her shoulders)

Sam: Well, we can all agree on one things. It's hell of a lot better than Stupid Spoiled Whore.

Wendy: Definitely. Because Sir Justice, (Under her breath) or you, (Out loud) are an actual good role model for kids.

Sam: That and everyone loves a good superhero.

(Just then, Bebe, Annie, Red, Heidi, Esther, and Millie come out of Store Justice, this time in their regular clothes and they all brought something. Bebe brought a Sir Justice mask, Annie brought a Sir Justice scarf, Red brought Sir Justice gloves, Esther brought a Sir Justice action figure, Heidi brought a Sir Justice paintball gun replica, and Millie brought a Sir Justice wig)

Sam: Hey girls.

Girls: Hey there Sam.

Sam: Listen, the other day when I insulted you all. I'm really sorry if I hurt your feelings. I wasn't trying to. I was only saying that to protect you from people like Justin.

Bebe: Don't sweat it, Sam. It's all water under the bridge. But golly, that Sir Justice guy is so cool! He saved us from Justin you know.

Sam: He did?

Annie: Yeah. You should've seen him. He was all like, "BAM! BAM! POW!" And Justin was all like, "NO! AAAAHHHH!" I have to meet him again someday. I want to marry him.

Red: Oh yeah, well I want to marry him and honeymoon with him to Hawaii.

Millie: I want to marry him, honeymoon with him in Paris, and have three kids.

Heidi: Well I want to marry him, honeymoon in the British Virgin Isles, have five kids with, and grow old with him.

Sam: (Chuckles)

Bebe: What's so funny?

Sam: Nothing, you girls are just so cute when you're fawning over someone like Sir Justice.

(Bebe takes a box of mints out of her pocket)

Bebe: Hey, Sam, you want Hero Mint?

Voice: Hero Mint: Bad Breath's Bane.

Sam: No, I'm fine. Thank you. But did seriously nobody else hear that voice. I want to know where that voice is coming from.

Wendy: I think it's one of those mysteries that are better left unsolved.

Sam: Maybe. Well, I have to go home now. See you girls in school tomorrow.

Wendy: Bye, Sam.

Heidi: Hey, is it me or does Sam look kind of cuter now?

Bebe: You know, I wasn't thinking that until you said it. And now that you did, yeah, he looks cuter than usual. I don't know what it is.

Red: (Shrugs her shoulders)

(Meanwhile, in an unknown location, a hooded figure is looking at a crystal ball. He watches replay footage of Sir Justice taking down Trent Boyett and then Justin. His face is unknown, but all we see are a pair of piercing red eyes, and he appears to be around Sam's age, 10 years old)

Mystery boy: So this is the Sir Justice that the people of South Park keep raving on about. I can't have someone like him running around. He'll destroy all of my evil plans for the future. I have to get rid of him somehow. How, I don't know. All I know is, when I do cook something up for him…he won't know what hit him. (The boy raises his head form the crystal ball, and it is none other than Damien Thorn. He grins evilly as the screen goes to black)

TO BE CONTINUED…

(Credits theme: Bakusou Yume Uta from Soul Eater)

(Yotei chouwa wo kechirasu noizu iru youni katto niramu gankou. Shinobikonda gareeji de yumemiteta ano koro to kawaranu haato. Sou kyou to onaji ashita nante konee ze ore binkan ni bakusou. Utau shinzou kanaderu biito ikiteiru tashikana akashi wo.)

(Shot #1: Sam going out to his mailbox to pick up the check that the Guess Clothing Company mailed to him for the week. He opens it, grabs the check, gets dollar signs in his eyes, and hugs the check. Paris Hilton is walking behind him all sad and smelling like shit. Mr. Slave must've crapped her out. Sam sees this and promptly laughs at her)

(Te ni shite ha ushinatte te ni shite ha ushinatte. Utsurou toki no naka de hito shirezu namida shita yoru mo.Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga tada jibun de.
Sousa mada ikeru hazu daro)

(Shot #2: Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are at Store Justice and they are looking at all of the products for sale. Cartman is dressed like Sir Justice and he flexes his muscles. Kenny, not impressed at all, takes a prop paintball gun and blasts him with paint. Cartman is covered in paint and not amused, but Stan, Kyle, and Kenny are as they're laughing their asses off)

(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite
Kono toki ga towa da to ima inochi ga sakenderu
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyukunda
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)

(Shot #3: Sam dressed as Sir Justice is running down the street getting chased by the girls (Bebe, Annie, Red, Sally, Beth, Millie, Heidi, Lola, Jenny, Nelly, Nichole, Esther, the two Kellies).. He was most likely training since he's in his costume. The girls clearly want to smother him in all of their love and praise, but Sam/Sir Justice is running scared. He looks behind him and shrieks. He turns a corner and when the girls turn the same corner they see that Sir Justice has disappeared. They leave and its revealed that Sir Justice is hiding in a nearby dumpster)

(Koukai ha nai nante daitai uso sa tsuba to basu shadou
Ukeirero sono bun tsuyoku nareba ii sa karamawatte mou ichido
Sou kyou no jibun wo gomakaseru hodo kiyou janee kizuku to
Ima omou kanjiteru kitto kotae nante arya shinai kedo)

(Shot #4: Sam, out of his Sir Justice costume, drops Red off at her home from a date. Red hugs Sam, and enters her house as Sam leaves. He runs a couple of blocks to Heidi's house. He knocks on the door, and Heidi comes out. The duo go off on another date. When the girls say that Sam looked cuter, they weren't kidding)

(Author's Note: If anyone is confused, the girls (sans for Wendy) still think that Sam and Sir Justice are two different people. They're dating Sam, but are obsessed with Sir Justice. Just thought I'd clear that up)

(Deatte ha wakarete deatte ha tsunagatte
Yorisou seishun no kirameki yo taai nai hibi de sae mo
Subete ha koko ni atte subete ga utsukushikute
Demo mada tatakatteru kara)

(Shot #5: Justin joins Trent Boyett in the jail cell. Trent is asleep on the top bunk and he points for Justin to go on the bottom bunk. Justin does so, lays down, and takes out a picture of Bebe, Red, and Annie dressed as whores. Justin grins and I'll leave what happens next to the imagination (I swear Sam/Sir Justice and Justin are both 10 years old))

(Time for the set up of next episode)

(Kurikaesu mainichi no aranami ni nomaretemo
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga
Kodoku wo furiharau youni tokai no kaze no naka
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikiyou wo aa)

(Shot #6: A South Park's scientist is working on a robot similar to the likes of Zero or X from the Megaman X series. Damien is watching this on his crystal ball and grinning)

(Samayoinagara
Nanika wo kaeteiku tameni kawaru yuuki wo
Soshite nakushichainai nanimo kawarazu ni iru tsuyosa wo)

(Shot #7: A group of grown men are having a rally at the park. Clyde passes by on his bike and the group of men fawn over him)

(Kegarenaki hikari ga yamiyo wo tsuranuite
Kono shunkan ga eien da to ima inochi ga sakenderu
Hora kokoro no oku ni itsumo kimi ga utsuru yo
Mamorubeki shinjitsu wo tada daiteyuke)

(Shot #8: Cartman is at a restaurant with his friends, Kyle, Kenny, and Stan. He appears to be getting bored of the conversation they're having and he falls asleep right in his French fry platter, causing the three boys to laugh at him)

(Kurikaesu mainichi no kouha ni nomaretemo
Mada yume kara samenu oretachi ha koko ni iru
Itsumo kikoetekuru nakamatachi no koe ga
Kodoku wo furiharau youni machi no kaze no naka
Tada iku shikanai sa shinjita ikizama wo aa
Riyuu nantenai sa furueru tamashii yo aa)

(Final Shot: Sam is in the backyard of Bebe's house and he, Wendy, and the rest of the girls are having a bon fire, burning all of the Stupid Spoiled Whore products that they have. The last item is a bottle of Skanque perfume that Red throws in…forgetting that perfume is flammable. The girls and Sam get an "Oh crap!" expression on their faces and they run away from the fire just as it explodes)

Question of the Chapter: Which of these songs would you use to describe Justin's relationship with the girls: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga or Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3?