The Djinnification of Haruhi Suzumiya

by Incredibleintruder

To deal with the problem that is Haruhi Suzumiya, a coalition decides to transform the troublesome teenage girl into something easier to manage. Thankfully for them, a current fascination with "The Arabian Nights" might be the key to their success as Haruhi and the SOS Brigade gets caught in a very, very bizarre and unusual situation...

7. The Revelation of Haruhi Suzumiya

Chapter 7: The revelation of Haruhi Suzumiya

"I'll rub it," Kyon announced, taking the initiative, his hand approaching the lamp. "I'm usually the one Haruhi's most likely to listen to - if she's unstable, perhaps it'll be easier to return to the status quo with a wish or something… or by trying to convince her that this is a dream or a very, very elaborate cosplay."

But he doubted there would be much chance of restoring things to what passed for 'normal' at North High. If what they had wished for had been granted, then Haruhi now knew herself, the wholeness of herself, knew the truth that the SOS Brigade existed to hide.

"Life is a gamble, at terrible odds," Koizumi murmured, then to everyone's surprise was silenced when Yuki spoke.

"If it were a bet you wouldn't take it," she finished the line for him, before looking at Kyon. "Haruhi is worth a gamble. Go ahead."

"M-hmm," Mikuru nodded her agreement, and then they all watched in silence as Kyon rubbed the surface of the lamp with his sleeve, savvy enough to know that this was what needed to be done to summon a genie. Hoping that Haruhi was in there and that she could still be saved, he jumped back as, the lamp shook and a violet and purple cloud erupted from the tip, bombarding the place with the scent of too-sugary candy, a sweetness that was almost disrespectful, but absolutely in-character for Haruhi.

Then, she appeared and no one in the room could hold back their awe at just what Haruhi had become.

The first thing of note was that her legs, or whatever now passed for them, were connected to the tip of the lamp, a tail formed from waves of crashing violet as if it was a flame flickering dangerously from the lamp itself.

'Woah…' Kyon thought, drinking in Haruhi's transformed appearance. She wore a beautiful outfit that was very genie-esque, a word that he made up on the spot: golden bracelets, a veil, a tight top, a sash around her waist, the whole works. She was half-naked, her cleavage and her stomach bare for all to see, yet a thing of very particular note was that she had long hair attached in a ponytail, which Kyon deep down absolutely loved to see. He had no idea why her hair was tied up like that, but he approved, remembering a confession once made in the heat of a moment when the world seemed sure to end - how he had always had a thing for ponytails, and that on Haruhi they looked so good that it was criminal.

But what really dropped his jaw was the sheer energy surrounding Haruhi, as if that spark that had always been inside her was now on display for everyone to see. Everything seemed to distort around her, like light lensing around the corona of a black hole. Arms crossed and expression tranquil, she was amazing, astounding, every inch a mighty spirit of myth. Then she opened her eyes and he hovered on the event horizon of despair, seeing that brilliant golden gaze empty of intelligence, yet filled with a terrible power, as Haruhi began to speak.

"Everything is fine. I am Haruhi, the genie of the lamp and-"

Her eyes stopped on them for a little while, as if recognising them. The words delivered in that ringing voice were choked off, then life returned in her irises and a smug smile worked its way onto her lips. Her folded arms shifted slightly into a position that suggested challenge rather than submissiveness.

"Oh hey guys!" she greeted the Brigade, the sight of them apparently making it so she got her senses back, an anticlimactic little development that was greeted quite positively by everyone. "I'm a genie now!... and Kyon!" her attention shifted to him. "You're the one who rubbed my lamp! Does that mean I have to call you 'master' now?"

She winked at him knowingly, her smugness knowing no bounds, and at a loss for words, all Kyon could do was laugh. She was okay? No damage? No reparations that needed to be made? No trauma? It was too simple, too deceptively easy - things were never like this with her. It just couldn't be.

"Okay everyone, I need to borrow 'Master' here for a few seconds. Be right back!" Haruhi said as she snapped her fingers and teleported away, taking Kyon with her. With everyone too dumbfounded to react, the others all sat there in shock around the still-delirious Kozumi, too overwhelmed with crazy twists to handle another just yet.

"What a fine persecution - to be kept intrigued without ever quite being enlightened."

"Shush…"

Kyon however found himself transported into the past alongside Haruhi, holding her lamp in his hands while she floated beside him. Apparently, she now knew how her powers worked and was using them consciously for the first time, which was an immense surprise. "Wait, Haruhi-"

"Just give me a moment, I need to do something first," she said, not letting him settle in, and Kyon realized that had backtracked several house into the past. They were back in his bedroom, apparently invisible to his past-self and the other SOS Brigade members gathered there, waiting for Haruhi moments prior to Kyon realizing that something was off. Grinning coyly, Haruhi floated across the room, and he watched as she whispered something into past-tense Kyon's ear, then returned to his side.

"Okay, we can all tell that there's something afoot here, so we're going to have to check things out and investigate. Haruhi might be in danger and that means trouble," his past-self said, stepping up to take charge, and Kyon remembered that he had said those words right after getting a real intense feeling that something was wrong. Then it hit him: that feeling was Haruhi -this genie version of Haruhi - actually telling him that she was in danger, sending him the sensation without making her presence known... because she couldn't do so herself right then because she was trapped in the lamp… But then she traveled back. And… and...and now his head was hurting.

"Don't worry, things will turn out fine, obviously," she teased him as they watched the scene unfold , Koizumi, Mikuru and Yuki all splitting off in different directions while Kyon briefed his sister.

"So, I guess we have a lot to talk about?" Haruhi declared once they were alone, smugly reclining in mid air, legs folded and arms behind her head. "Go ahead, ask anything, I know you've got a bunch of questions!"

"You're really a genie!" Kyon said, stating the obvious, his mind not quite registering that amazing truth yet - that Haruhi was safe and sound but now in complete control of her abilities. "With wish-granting powers and all that!"

"And with the pretty outfit and the pretty hair to boot, you can say it," Haruhi teased, her smirk still quite visible beneath her veil. Still floating she rolled over into a new and obviously alluring position, taking a little pose by crossing her arms and winking at him. "Don't try to deny that you think I'm sexy like this, Master."

Well yeah, absolutely, especially when she kept calling him that when it was obvious that she didn't have to, but he felt that there were more pressing matters to discuss, like what were her feelings on her powers? Did she think she was in a dream, or knew of her role in the universe? Too many questions popped up at once, and while he was still trying to pick one out, Haruhi snapped her fingers and made time advance forward quickly, and suddenly they were back in the school auditorium, watching Yuki and the rest of the Brigade trying to trick the Data Overmind to transport Haruhi's lamp into play.

"Wow, you really gambled there…" Haruhi commented, seeing the scene play out. "Luckily, the table was rigged in your favour, thanks to yours truly," she motioned proudly to herself.

"Wait, so we nearly lost your lamp?"

"Yeah, it was a real scummy group of people working together behind the scenes on this, and with me transformed they were about ready to backstab each other to claim my lamp. Your proposal inspired the innovators in the Data Overmind to band with the radicals in trying to pre-empt that struggle and steal me for themselves - all the other Overmind parties - the thinkers, the moderates and the compromisers decided to step back and see what happened - really boring of them..." she twisted over onto her stomach and adopted a coquettish pose, like a supermodel posing for a suntan commercial. "Aren't I worth fighting over?"

Yes, definitely, absolutely, and wow was she getting a thrill out of this genie thing. But all Kyon could focus on was the sobering realisation that they might have lost Haruhi for good. "You said you rigged the table, am I about to see that play out as well?"

"Yeah… I don't want to end up in anyone's hands but your own, so I'm just gonna bounce that signal right… here," Haruhi said, half-ignoring him and pointing with one finger, right as the lamp arrived at the very spot she had indicated, neatly into the midst of the SOS Brigade, just as had happened a few minutes ago… or at least a few minutes ago from Kyon's perspective. "It was really perceptive of you to figure things out so quickly, though. Well done Kyon, you've excelled your Brigade Chief's modest expectations in every way."

"Well, you're definitely the genuine Haruhi," Kyon admitted, and as she preened herself at the compliment he sat back in mid-air and crossed his legs, trusting her to not let him drop. So they had saved Haruhi, but she had also helped to save herself, and all at the same time. This was mind-breaking in so many ways that all he could do was mutter a half-laughing "good grief" and press one hand to his forehead, still holding her lamp tight with his free hand as he struggled to make sense out of all of this - he wasn't going to lose her again, never again. "Okay, yeah, sure...so, this happened."

"Hey, sorry if I couldn't just rely on you all. I had to do something!" Haruhi proclaimed before eventually sitting down, or least her closest approximation of sitting down, right next to him. "Oh, that reminds me!"

She blinked, and this time conjured a photo of herself with she caught from mid-air, and began to run one finger over it, as if adjusting sliders on the character-builder in some online MMO.

"It's not like this is the first time I've had to extend a little help to you guys, after all," she smirked, and apparently satisfied with her work flipped the photo over to reveal the smiling, winsome face of a girl that she had once declared an ideal addition to the SOS Brigade. "Remember her?"

"Yasumi," Kyon nodded, grinning. "So that message was you too?"

"Had to be," Haruhi explained, now wielding a feather quill and using it to scribble on the back of the photo with a speed that would have impressed Yuki. "Yo made a good guess in thinking it was my subconscious helping you guys out, but at that point, every part of me was completely sold on taking up a gig as a honest-to-me genie slave, twenty-four-seven-eternity, no leave or holiday hours but a lot of benefits. There, done!"

She signed the message 'Yasumi Watahashi' and with a casual flick tossed the photo into eternity. "Off it goes to your little sister, who really does deserve a hug when I next see her, because she did a great job, you all did!"

Satisfied, she discarded the quill and adopted a classical 'genie' pose, arms folded and cross-legged. "Alright, I've got time for your questions now."

Kyon frowned, some of her most recent words churning in his craw like soured milk. "So what Koizumi glimpsed when he touched your lamp was real… you really had been talked into enslaving yourself?"

"Yeah," Haruhi said with a casual dismissiveness that rankled him - how could she be so calm? "All I could think out was how fun, how wonderful it was going to be, to have all this power and get to use it as my master decreed, to creatively carry out their wishes and commands. I was ready to serve and obey whatever creepy alien, angry esper or jaded time-traveller popped my cork, but you guys gave me a bunch of wishes that woke me up, gave me an anchor to pull me, the real me back together on."

She might have been cheerful, but Kyon himself was furious. Then he felt her touch him on the shoulder, and that contact seemed to relieve some of his burdens, just with the knowledge that she was here.

"It's okay Kyon," she assured him. "I'm safe and it's all that matters. Besides," he saw that familiar confident smirk returned. "I'm sure we'll find a way see that those responsible get what's coming to them. After all, this is the same SOS Brigade who you promised would take on the entire Data Overmind to keep Yuki safe, which was crazy bonkers badass by the way!"

"So you know?" Kyon asked, looking at her as he calmed himself down, giving a little less of his focus to his rage, concentrating instead of the fact that she was right: she was safe and that was all that mattered. "About all of this? The Data Overmind? The Organisation?...everything?"

"Yeah," she answered quickly and almost nonchalantly, observing the SOS Brigade entering the clubroom with her lamp, almost treating it like a Weapon of Mass Destruction. "I know."

"How?" Kyon, usually a man of more vocabulary asked. "How did it happen?"

"When I was being transformed, I became aware of how deeply the universe is connected with me, and I could see everything. Time, Space, the Cosmos, Magic… all of these were related somehow, and I was the connective tissue," Haruhi explained, all her teasing and her whimsical attitude vanishing for a moment, the fact that she was treating this seriously for once a more shocking development than anything else that had happened all morning. "I saw myself and I knew I had to get away from the situation I was in, but I'd already snared myself inside the shape and rules of a genie, and couldn't escape by myself. But I also knew that I could count on you all, so I let their brainwashing roll over me knowing I'd soon be free. And guess what… I was right. I knew the SOS Brigade would never let me down," she smirked and flicked him on the nose. "Least of all you Kyon~"

And there was the normal Haruhi that he knew. "Okay, but… how does it feel to know that you were right all along? That the world is so much weirder than expected and that your SOS Brigade actually accomplished its function the day it was formed… How does it make you feel to know that the world really does revolve around you?"

"Well, like I said, everything is connected, so yeah the world revolves around me, but that doesn't mean anyone else is less important - the mission was always to make the world more fun for everyone - we're all in this together." Then she smirked and tucked her folded arms under her breasts, plumping up her already alluring cleavage. "I just get some extra perks, like a magical bod' that puts Mikuru's to shame!" She saw him blush and laughed, legs kicking out in glee. "Don't you see Kyon, somehow this was meant to happen in one way or another, just like you were meant to hold my lamp…

She pointed at the golden lamp that Kyon had in his possession. "Your hands were meant to hold the only thing that could perhaps, maybe, weaken me a little and put me back in a position of vulnerability, Master" Haruhi said, putting such a teasing, winking inflection on that last word that Kyon felt his cheeks redden. "You, the guy I trust the most, a trust that hasn't been misplaced in the slightest, are the only one who could call me from that lamp. I'm right, aren't I... John Smith?"

Silence. World-deafening silence filled the place as Kyon processed that final bombshell. Now Haruhi really did know everything, about the espers, the time-travelers, the aliens, their adventures… that kiss they shared in Closed Space… Everything. No more secrets, nothing hidden from her sight. Her full potential was now attained and she now consciously wielded power that could change everything for the better…or worse...at any second.

"Hey, don't be scared. You know, you're probably the only guy who could look grim and lost when holding a lamp with a sexy, sexy genie inside~" Haruhi said, teasing him with a little circular motion of her hips and a sultry expression in her eyes, which would have been great if it wasn't for that constant grin she wore beneath her veil, daring him. "Come now, I think it's time to make all your wishes come true."

He did not know what she was talking about, yet that did not stop her from snapping her fingers and returning them to the clubroom, and to Koizumi, Mikuru and Yuki, still in the positions they had been when the two of them had left.

"All this strolling about is getting too arbitrary by half," Koizumi saw them appear. There was a slight smile of disappointment on his face. "It would have been nice to have had unicorns."

"Wow, genie-slave-me really did a number on you, sorry about that" Haruhi cringed, before snapping her fingers and producing a DVD remote which she pointed at the concussed esper, tapping the 'audio' button before stabbing her thumb briefly on 'rewind'. "And, take two!"

"Well, that didn't last very long," Koizumi said, still with that same look of anticlimax on his face, which severely contrasted with his smile. "I was expecting something a touch more flashy, Ms Suzumiya."

"What are you talking about? We were gone for twenty minutes," Kyon said, a little dumbfounded, but glad to hear his friend speaking in coherent Japanese again.

"On our end… you disappeared… and then reappeared," Mikuru explained, seemingly at ease, which made sense given she was the most knowledgeable about time-travel to begin with. "It really was almost instantaneous."

"Then it must mean that Haruhi Suzumiya knows about time displacement and teleportation, which suggests that is cognisant and in control of her powers," Yuki deduced, looking at the transformed Haruhi and her revealing costume with a surprisingly open fascination.

"Yes, she's aware of it and-" Kyon began to say until he was interrupted by Haruhi.

"Oh who cares about all that? Drama, drama, drama, tension and more drama!" she said, tossing this important conversation aside like it was nothing. "I'm a genie now! I can grant wishes! And I'm gonna do just that!"

"You're gonna' do what?" Kyon blinked, and Haruhi laughed.

"Well of course, stupid. You guys sacrificed your Tanabata wishes to make the ones that set me free. I'm never going to forget that, not when I can finally make everything you asked for come true!"

"This is indeed Haruhi Suzumiya," Yuki observed, and to everyone's surprise quantified this with a further statement. "I am… glad."

"Yuki, Yuki, Yuki…" Haruhi wagged her finger, almost bouncing with excitement. "Awesome alien girl and mistress of any task Yuki. Trust me when I say this just the start!"

"Okay… do we hold the lamp and ask for our wishes, or..." Mikuru began to ask, actually getting excited at the prospect of having one of her dreams being fulfilled.

"Nope, Future-Girl. I'm just gonna grant them like that because I'm awesome!" Haruhi barely explained, chuckling as if the question was the silliest she had ever heard. Even as a genuine genie, Haruhi would do as she felt like, it seemed, which actually put Kyon at ease because of how normal this felt, to just go with the flow when it came to Haruhi. "Besides, I already know all the wishes you gave up to help me! So I'm gonna grant them now~"

Then her fingers snapped and everything went blank for a few seconds, leaving the five of them standing in a cosmic void of stars and galaxies and immense power, all of which seemed to flow through and from Haruhi, before reality abruptly crashed back in. The universe had changed in slight ways, and with her wish-granting abilities perfectly attuned to her role Haruhi went from one member to another and made sure they understood just how their dreams had been fulfilled.

Family harmony and world peace.

For Koizumi, it was arduous but feasible to make both of these a reality. With Haruhi now self-aware many of the tensions that had divided the ranks of the Organisation could finally be set aside. And for the hell of it she had chosen to expand and enrich the world of the espers by giving them full access to their abilities in the regular world, not just Closed Space. Adapting to such a transformed paradigm actually brough most espers round to see eye-to-eye on many if not all subjects. Grudges were set aside, rivalries mended and wounds healed by the sheer need to form a consensus on where to go from here. On that front things were just fine and dandy, yet the genie knew what 'family' Koizumi really had in mind when he made that wish. The SOS Brigade was actually just fine like they were, so she didn't have to do much on there. As for world peace, she'd have to find a workaround for that, but she had all the time in the world to figure that out. Literally.

Reformation and unity.

Yuki had wished for this so hard, her earnest and extremely eloquent desire for self-awareness and emotional realisation, the auto-evolution that was itself the goal of the fractured and divided Data Overmind. Yet ironically she had almost granted her own wish, her trials and tribulations from proximity to Haruhi and the SOS Brigade granting her access to her own self-generated emotions, perhaps most importantly the willful independence that had led to her declaring herself loyal to the Brigade above even the Data Overmind. For this to be the norm, all Haruhi had to do was introduce subtle variations into the baseline code of all the Humanoid Interfaces on Earth, using Yuki's personal transformation as a template that transformed a collective of networked units into a community of unique extra-terrestrial individuals who could not be remotely terminated by the Overmind, with the hope that such infectious individualism would bleed over into the Overmind itself. Thus Yuki's hope for herself and her creators was granted, and though it could lead to chaos and uncertainty in the short term, Haruhi knew that the end result would be just what Yuki wished for, and that her dear friend would actually have an immense role in this conclusion. And hey, maybe in time this wish would lead to mankind making actual First Contact with an alien race, how awesome was that!

I wish my cooking and sewing would improve.

A very benign set of wishes for Mikuru, but certainly well-within her abilities, and all it took was a snap of her fingers for Haruhi to grant the easiest wishes of them all. Recipes, skills and a new dexterity were given to Mikuru, who now intrinsically knew how to do so much more with her hands. She smiled, and then she was handled a pile of material, silk, needles, satin and multiple other fabrics by a smirking Haruhi. "Well now that you know how to sew like a pro, how about making some costumes for us all, eh?"

She left Mikuru like that. Haruhi always did like to toy with her.

Kyon was sitting on a hillside veranda, the sun setting over the town as he looked at all the space that his family now had access to, thanks to a freak lottery win and a sudden promotion for his father. His sister was playing messily in the huge garden with Haruhi and Shamisen, the three of them gambolling like crazy in all the open space. A few trees, a lot of grass, a great view… This was the life, and yet looking behind him at his house, he felt almost foolish, unimaginative to just ask for something so mundane, especially in a world where he knew Haruhi existed, a world of miracles.

Told to make a wish that would not be granted for sixteen years, he had wished for a big house with a garden where he could bathe his dog. And money.

He might not have the dog, because right now his sister was trouble enough without a second puppy to deal with, but he was certain the money part was pretty much taken care of too. His parents had divided the lottery money between the family, his and his sister's shares going into trust funds, and with Haruhi's magic guiding their investment strategies he wouldn't be too surprised to see an extra few zeroes every time he logged into his bank account now, which would permit him a carefree lifestyle should he want one once he reached his majority.

And best of all, this luxury villa was located just a few blocks along the same hillside from North High, so he no longer had to schlep up that damned hill to school every morning!

Everything seemed like it had turned up roses for the quiet life he had once desired. But, there was one thing that would forbid him from achieving that, and right now she was running up the steps from the garden to join him.

"Well, all your wishes are granted!" Haruhi announced, flopping down beside him, a contented smile on her face as they continued to watch his sister play with the calico. Damn, even dressed 'normally' in her school uniform she looked more beautiful than ever, and the extra-long ponytail was driving him wild. "And very nicely-granted if I do say so myself! I think you're all dealt with!"

"Yeah...I suppose we're all done." Kyon said, melancholy striking hard just now, the granting of his wish not exactly setting his world on fire or making him all too happy.

"Hey, what gives?" Haruhi asked, disappointed and a little angry, and suddenly she was standing over him, hands on hips and legs astride his recliner. "Is there something wrong with the house? Or is it my presence here?"

"No no...It's just…" he sighed, not cowed in the slightest. "Are our adventures over now? Now that you know the truth, that you have power over everything, that you understand you've been lied to… is there really any reason for the SOS Brigade to even exist?" Those questions weighed on him with a certain intensity. "Would there even be a point to continue the charade? Do we even need to get back to school, to pretend that everything is normal? My point is...what happens next?"

"Well, we just continue, yeah!" Haruhi said with her usual enthusiasm, her school uniform washing away and replaced with that amazingly sexy genie costume that she wore so well, the shimmering fabrics and heavy gold accessories radiant in the sunset. "Now that I know that the world actually does revolve around me, my own wish being granted at that, and that it's a much, much weirder place because of me… Well anything's possible!"

"This lamp is really just here for show, isn't it?" Kyon asked, looking down at the object in question. It always seemed to be in reach, no matter where he set it down or last saw it. It was also an excuse to look away and hide how flustered he was getting from seeing Haruhi dressed in what now seemed to be her default state. Somehow he wasn't concerned about his family seeing her like this, because knowing Haruhi she had made it so that the sight of her in costume was for his eyes only.

"Kinda sorta. It's complicated," Haruhi admitted, and hearing an unfamiliar note of contrition in her voice he looked up in surprise, and saw her shift to sit on the edge of his recliner, hands in her lap in a posture that he normally associated with Mikuru. "I know I can get… moody from time to time. I get that. And the last time I lost hope in the world, I almost destroyed it, and then you saved the situation by...by..."

Haruhi stopped in mid-explanation, blushing. In a day filled with surprises, this took the cake - Kyon had never seen her lose composure like this. It made her look immensely cute in an endearing way, which was also a first. "Well...You know..."

"When I kissed you. You can say it."

"Yes, well… Anyway!" Haruhi said, skipping the subject as she tried to regain control of her emotions and the conversation all at once. "I know you've always been the only one who could talk me down and… if needs be… tell me temporarily to stop and consider what I'm doing. This just makes it official, so that if needed, you can order me to put the brakes on."

"But what if I use that to take advantage of you? What if I'm tempted to… use you?" Kyon asked, holding the lamp tightly now.

"Pfft...Like hell you will. I know you, I trust you!" Haruhi said with an hearty chuckle. "Besides…"

There was a puff of smoke, and suddenly she was no longer perched on the edge of the recliner but straddling his hips, knees pinning his sides. Slowly she began to rock her hips and torso in a slow, seductive dance, arms extending outwards in fluid, waving motions that made full use of her beautifully lithe body. "You don't have the stones to actually kiss me," she teased, a wave of a hand dismissing her veil, "even now after all we've shared, so like hell you would-"

And she was stopped right there when Kyon proved he did have the stones and kissed her right on the spot. Her ponytail, her flirty demeanor, the wish, her outfit, it was proving to be too much for him to handle and he just went for it, which proved to be the right move as she kissed back near-instantaneously. She had taunted him to do just that and, apparently, she had gotten that wish granted too. She was sly as ever, it seemed.

The kiss stopped and they looked at each other, with Kyon not knowing what to say and Haruhi being in the same position. Eventually, it was Kyon who got the signature smirk that Haruhi usually threw around, a firm idea in his mind.

"Hey, maybe you can grant me another wish..."

Looking into his eyes she must have caught a whisper of what he had in mind, because she returned his grin with wicked relish.

"Whatever you desire, Master…"

They were all reunited in conclave, but not by choice.

After the loss of the lamp it had been agreed that they split apart and never mention this fiasco again, yet here they were, summoned by some unseen power to the place where it all happened… where it failed. Turning Haruhi Suzumiya into a servant of the cosmos, into a genie, should have been the best possible scenario and yet it had failed. They still didn't know what had transpired to result in this, yet it was done and they appeared to be trapped, doors barred and the space sealed to a degree that none of the espers or any of the Human Interfaces could interpret. Thus they could only hope that the SOS Brigade, or some other organisation/collective would fix this whole mess.

And then one person approached to the center of the room and everyone found that they could not speak, nor budge. They could only observe and listen, listen to the being that time and again had proved their salvation and most annoying pebble in their shoe, the unremarkable youth that seemed closest to Haruhi Suzumiya.

To the man named Kyon.

"So, you're the ones responsible for this, aren't you?" he started as he produced the lamp that had captured Haruhi Suzumiya and rubbed it, revealing her genie form for all to see. She made a show of her emergeance, with plenty of ominous smoke and arcs of energy to strike a little fear into those with the capacity to feel it. "So you thought you could all go ahead and enslave her, transform Haruhi into a genie slave 'for the better of the universe'..."

He took a pause and looked around, withholding his words until the tension in the room peaked, which didn't take long, not with Haruhi floating over his shoulder, fully in control of her powers and, seemingly, in his control.

"Let me explain to you that you actually did it! You made the universe a safe place!" Kyon exclaimed, absolutely adoring how he now had a chance to 'tell it like it is' to a bunch of extra-dimensional aliens, time-travelers and traitors from the Organisation, a genuine who's-who of the goons responsible for so many of the headaches he'd suffered since entering High School. "You made it so Haruhi knows of her power and her role. No more chaos, no more accidents now!" Another pause. "...but you didn't do it all with that purpose in mind, did you?"

Haruhi snapped her fingers and the lights came up, revealing not only the entire SOS Brigade standing at Kyon's back, but also the faces of everyone else in the room. More than a few eyes narrowed in recognition, and Kyon's blood chilled at the sight of several old nemesis, including that sneering bastard of a time-traveller, and especially when he noticed a smiling blue-haired girl standing near the door, looking every inch an out-of-place schoolgirl. He managed to keep his composure - Yuki had beaten her before, and now Haruhi the Genie was on-side as well.

"So," he said. "Now things are different…and since they've worked out for the best the Executive Committee of the SOS Brigade has made the generous decision to let you go." Almost feeling their relief he pointed to the door. "Be aware that Haruhi has made some interesting changes to the world and you're going to feel them the moment she bridges this place back to reality. Each of you is going to have to get your own houses in order to deal with it, and perhaps you might do best by working together again, because you achieved something pretty amazing this time."

Amazingly, it was Yuki who issued a sarcastic clap of applause. Those Human Interfaces present seemed to treat this is a bizarre but fascinating development.

"Keep in mind though," Kyon added. "If any of you misbehave further, and try to harm the SOS Brigade, be it Haruhi, one of us or any future members… well you'll have to deal with the proverbial wrath of God here."

He pointed at Haruhi, who took great pleasure in playing the part of an intimidating and all-powerful presence, and she cracked her knuckles to add a dramatic flair to the situation. The sound they produced was like lightning cleaving through a tree, and left echoing peals of thunder.

"You can all return to where you came from, but never forget that this your final chance," Kyon pointedly made eye-contact with those present who he knew to have crossed the SOS Brigade before. "You don't get another..."

"Have fun, everybody," Haruhi waved farewell, "and Behave!"

And with that the SOS Brigade vanished, and the doors to this secret place swung open. Her spell lifted, everyone present found they could move again, and almost immediately they perceived just how much weight had been behind Kyon's threat of a changed world. Time-travelers began to panic as they made contact with a radically-transformed future, and espers reeled as they suddenly felt their powers bloom and expand.

But the most subtle, and perhaps most remarkable change came over the Human Interfaces, who perceived an infinitesimal shift in their personal data and relationship with their creator entities, followed by the first twinges of what could only be called 'error data', manifesting in new and unexpected subroutines.

Feeling this, the dark-haired representative of the Sky Canopy Dominion looked down and saw a slight tremble in her hards. Curious, the interface identifying itself, no herself, as Kuyou Suou, decided that this was a most unexpected development, and deserving of further study.

This reaction was in stark contrast to the unit beside her, the blue-haired schoolgirl who had on several occasions driven a combat knife right through the person named 'Kyon' with the goal of terminating his life processes. During the delivery of the ultimatum her primary consideration, locked as she was into her goals and unflinchingly cheerful mindset, was how wonderful a development this was, and how even more interesting it would be to kill Kyon now, and observe how a Haruhi Suzumiya aware of her powers would react.

But once the doors opened and the transformed world crashed in, Ryoko Asakura, representative of the radical party of the Data Overmind, felt not a shift but an explosion of data within her, and fell back against the wall, consumed with a sensation that smashed through her surface-layer personality, an alien awfulness that suggested a move of any kind against the SOS Brigade was a very bad idea.

Until now the human desire to not 'die' had made no sense to her, but in this moment she suddenly gained an appreciation for her own existence, and comprehension that the sensation filling her was related to the -suddenly intolerable- understanding that any existence was finite, and, as a further corollary, that Haruhi Suzumiya now possessed the means and motive to bring her own existence to a very final and terminal end. Further analysis told her that this must have been how 'Kyon' felt when she attacked him, and a mind that never before experienced 'empathy' was almost flattened by it.

Desperately she reached out to the Overmind for advice on how to proceed, not realising that this reflected a sudden desire for 'comfort', and felt back a wellspring of curiosity, her sponsors requesting clarification of what she was currently 'feeling'. Eyes dilated and with sweat beating, losing control of her motor functions from the sheer volume of emotion she was now experiencing, Ryoko searched for the right word, and found it.

The SOS Brigade returned to their lives from that meeting with the knowledge that they had made several very powerful people wet themselves in alarm, but for Kyon, the greatest satisfaction that day came from knowing they had taught Ryoko Asakura the meaning of fear.