Warning: Mentions of self-harm, depression, and suicide.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything besides the plot and Lukas.

Chapter Two

Matthew Casey never had the intention to read his son's journal. Heck, he didn't even know that he son wrote in a journal. He was just reading, looking through it to see what it was. He found it on the floor of his truck while he had been cleaning said truck after a road trip with Kelly and Lukas. A guy's trip. He thought that his son could use a guy's trip, to get away from everything. He didn't realize how much his son really did need a break from everything. There is no doubt that lately, Matt has noticed a change in his sixteen-year-old son. Lukas used to be a happy, active, adventurous filled teenager. He used to hang out with friends every single day after school. He would help around the firehouse, not sitting down for a second. He used to be so filled with smiles, smiles from cheek to cheek. God, his smiles used to be infectious. He would smile just because his son was smiling. That smile was contagious. Now, though, now Lukas… Matt can't remember the last time he saw his son as happy as he used to be. Lukas isn't as active as he used to be, in fact, Lukas quit basketball, his favorite sport. Matt still hasn't received an explanation for why his son quit his favorite sport. He won't even play basketball at the firehouse, in fact, he refuses to play. Lukas is not as adventurous as he used to be. Before Lukas had always been interested in visiting other places, waiting to go the Grand Crayon, different camping sites, pretty much anything that required some type of physical activity, now though, the recent trip they went on, it took a lot of effort to get Lukas on board for the trip. Lukas barely hangs out with his friends anymore, heck, Matt can't remember the last time Lukas wanted to hang out with his friends. He just spends the majority of his time in his room. He barely comes around the firehouse anymore and when he does, he spends all of his time in Matt's office. And his smile, Matt hasn't seen the smile for a long time.

God, how could he have not noticed that his son is depressed, suicidal even? How could that have gone right over his head?

Matt can feel himself shaking, he can see his hands shaking, the journal, his son's journal shaking along with them. He can feel the tears coming to his eyes. He never thought… He never once thought that he would find himself in this situation. He never once thought that his son would be depressed, that his son would be suicidal. Suicidal. His son is thinking about suicide. His son is thinking about killing himself. His son, Lukas Ryan Casey, is thinking about killing himself. Oh, God, no, no, no. At this point, Matt can't help but let the tears fall from his eyes. His son is thinking about ending his own life. How could it have come to this? He needs to find out. He needs to know everything going on in his son's head. He knows that this isn't going to be easy, but he really needs to know what is happening with his son. He can not delay this, he has to do this now…

Matt closes the doors on his trucks before making his way back into the house. His son's journal tucked under his arm. He wipes his face, wiping away the tears before he actually walks into the house. When he does walk into the house, it's quiet, like has been for a while now. It never used to be quiet. An active, growing teenager, man, this house used to be loud. Now the house sits quietly. Matt doesn't like the sound of no sound. He begins to make his way to his son's room, his pace becoming faster with every single step he takes. Before he knows it, he is standing outside of his son's bedroom. He raises his fist to knock on the door but as soon as he is about to knock, he hears an unusual noise coming from inside his son's room. It takes him a few seconds to recognize the sound coming from inside his son's room.

Sobs. Those are sobs coming from his son's room. Sobs. His son is crying, sobbing.

Matt doesn't even bother to knock. He walks directly into his son's room. His heart instantly breaks. There his son is in the corner, arms wrapped around his legs, his head buried in his knees, and his body racking with sobs. He freezes for a second before making his way over to his son. He tosses the journal onto the bed before pulling his son into his arms. His son instantly reacts…

"No, no, no," Lukas sobs, trying to pull away from his father, trying to get out of his father's arms. "No, no, no. You can't… You can't… You can't see me like this. You can't know. You can't know."

"Hey, shh, shh," Matt says, keeping his son in his arms. "Relax, Lukas, come on, Lukas. Just breathe, son. Come on."

"No, no," Lukas continues to sob, still trying to get out of his father's arms. "No, you have to leave. You have to leave me alone. You can't see me like this. You can't see me crying like this. We're Casey men, we never cry, we always bottle up our emotions. We don't cry."

"No, son," Matt says as he pulls his son closer and placing his head on top of his son's head. "It's okay to cry. Yes, we are Casey men, but that doesn't mean we always have to keep everything inside. It's okay to cry. It's okay to let it out. You don't have to keep it inside, Lukas, just let it all out. Just cry it out, son, just cry it out."

Apparently, that is all Lukas needs to hear because he stops fighting. He falls into his father's arms, crying against his chest. Matt holds his son close, his arms wrapping around his son's small frame. God, he has lost weight. This isn't good. This isn't good at all.

"It's going to be okay, Lukas, it's going to be okay," Matt repeats over and over again, each time placing a kiss on top of his son's head. "I promise you, Lukas, I promise you it's all going to be okay."

It's all going to be okay. It's all going to be okay. It's all going be okay.

Or.

At least he hopes.