Author Note:

A tough chapter to write but nonetheless so much growth for Callie and both of the moms. Everyone gains a new perspective here. Lena discovers her confidence and the boundaries of her own comfort; Stef learns patience; and Callie finds herself in an environment safe enough that she can speak.

This is the seventh version, with the help of theypreferthetermpeople to finesse the final content.

As always, thanks so much for the support; I love hearing from you and it makes me happy to know people are still following this story. You all are the best, and I hope you stick around even after the show ends! Love, ~b

Leaving Lena's side of the bed, Stef scooted over so she could sit facing their daughter. Their talk was about to get a whole lot harder but that was unavoidable.

One thing they had learned about Callie was that she was more forthcoming whenever she was at her most vulnerable. It was then that the fight would give way to the fragility beneath and she would lay her armour down. The tricky part was the dance between giving her enough space to feel safe but not waiting too long. If they let her pull herself completely back together, Callie would clam up again and the opportunity to hear her speak was lost. This was why neither of the women were willing to let this sit overnight.

Lena drew in a nervous breath as she steeled her resolve to lead the discussion. While their daughter had been engrossed in the iPad, she and Stef had furiously texted back and forth—deciding on their strategy during the little privacy they had. Given Callie had been so angry with Stef earlier, they'd both agreed it needed to be her. She just hoped it would go well.

"Sweetheart?" she began, addressing her daughter directly. "Are you afraid that if you make mistakes or get in trouble with us that Mom and I might ask you to leave?"

The small shrug that came within the safety of Lena's arms told her that their interpretation was correct.

"Because we promise you that is not going to happen. There are consequences, but getting rid of you—or anyone else in this family for that matter—is not one of them," Lena continued. "That needs to be clear," she affirmed before giving Stef a slight nod to jump in.

"This is your home, for as long as you need it to be. Even when you're all grown up and moved out." Aware of how long it'd taken Lena to calm Callie down, she spoke in a soothing undertone. She wasn't going to risk doing anything that would upset her again. "It's understandable if you're holding out for things to be official to rest easy but Mama and I have always, always intended for our home to be a permanent place for you and Jude. All the moving around stops here, remember?" she pleaded, drawing on language they'd used with the children before.

That this needed pointing out filled her with grief and an overwhelming sense of hopelessness.

Callie shot her a deflated look, unsure if she believed that. Even if she were adopted, there was no guarantee they wouldn't kick her out if she kept messing up. Juvie was filled with kids thrown out by their real parents.

"Us wanting you to be part of this family is unconditional. We don't keep score of things that have gone wrong, then decide you're not worth it when the going gets tough. It doesn't work that way, sweetness," Stef emphasized, struggling to explain this in a way that would be understandable to the child. Something about the manner in which past misbehaviour had been brought up deeply bothered her; Callie had been frantic—desperate—to explain herself. It hadn't been until her shower that she realized why: their daughter thought there was a chance they were still upset with her.

"You're ours."

Yeah. Until you decide I'm not, Callie wished she could say. Stef was such a fake.

"You've got to let go of this guilt. You made some choices we would've much rather you hadn't but you're a good kid with your whole future ahead of you." Stef smiled warmly at the girl, wanting her to be able to forgive herself. "You are worth so much more than your actions, Bug. You're not disposable."

"You don't believe us, though," Lena interrupted softly, surprising herself with her bluntness. She would regret it if Callie withdrew but this was too important to let go without taking that risk.

Right away, her daughter's gaze flicked up to meet her's. And that was when she saw it: all of the fear that what they were telling her couldn't possibly be true.

"Callie… You don't believe us," Lena said sympathetically. "That's what's making this hard, isn't it?" The girl gave a slight nod of her head, clearly uncomfortable. "It's okay. It's not anything to feel bad about," she said as her daughter's chin began to tremble. Worried that they would hit an impasse—or worse, that the upset would morph into complete distress—Lena decided to create space to abate some of the apprehensiveness before attempting to convince her otherwise. So instead of speaking, she focused on rubbing Callie's shoulder, reassuring her everything would be alright.

Lena was about to lose hope that their daughter would give them more to go on when Callie broke the silence between them.

"Just Mom."

The words were barely a whisper—such that, had Lena not had Callie right beside her, she would've missed them. Frowning, she forced herself not to overreact and to wait a bit before proceeding. The reply did not sit well with her at all.

"What about Mom, honey?" Lena pressed. Something about the way Callie had directed that statement at her—as if only meant for her ears—gave the impression her daughter was somewhat shy about what she had uttered. And not quite ready to talk to Stef about it.

Afraid Callie would pull away, she cupped her chin up towards her. "Do you mean that you believe me, but not Mom?" She held her breath, waiting for Callie to admit what she already suspected.

After what seemed like a long time, Callie shrugged, giving Lena all the confirmation she needed.

"You don't think Mom wants you," Lena said. This time, it wasn't a question and her daughter did not dispute it.

Lena hummed thoughtfully as she locked gazes with her wife. Seeing Stef open her mouth to respond, she shook her head to dissuade her. As difficult as it was to refrain from refuting her daughter's belief, those feelings—no matter how faulty—needed to be validated.

Understanding what was being requested of her, Stef got up and took her time smoothing out the duvet cover before sitting back down—one leg crossed underneath her while the other dangled off the bed. Now closer to Callie, she took the small hands into her own and clasped them together. Her daughter looked down, fear and sadness clouding her expression.

"I want you. I have wanted, with all my heart, for you to be a part of this family since that very first week you came to live with us," Stef said. She fought back tears, becoming emotional at the memory of the exact moment she knew without a doubt that Callie and Jude belonged with them. That she and Lena would be petitioning the court for adoption.

To learn that her child didn't accept this despite repeated attempts to reassure her was discouraging.

"I wish there was something we could do so that you believe me. So you believe us when we say this is permanent. That there is nothing that can change our mind. Nothing," she emphasized, wishing so much for Callie to be able to see that.

"I know it's hard… you've had your trust broken so many times. And Mama and I know you must be getting tired of fighting for a permanent place to live, when you've deserved one and have been waiting for one for so long. So now it's our turn, honey, to fight for you. But you have to let us. You've got to trust that we've got this—that we've got you."

She was discouraged by the wariness Callie was regarding her with. The girl's insecurity had always been problematic but it had returned with a vengeance tonight and she was at a loss as to what else they could be doing about it.

"You are so loved," she began, confused as her child suddenly became sullen.

Irritated, Callie yanked her hands away. "I said I don't want you to say that!"

For a second time that night, Stef could only stare wordlessly—stunned that a statement like that could hurt as much as it did. "I… I'm sorry," she said, clearing the hoarseness in her throat as her emotions threatened to spill over.

"Why does that upset you?" Lena questioned. "It's okay not to be ready to say or hear that. But we need your help understanding so we can make sure we're not using language that makes you uncomfortable without meaning to," she explained, hoping to offset the possibility of another tantrum.

Callie gave a small shrug. "Because."

Because… it was a trick. It wasn't fair to say you loved someone when you didn't really want them at all.

"Honey, we need a little more than that." Convinced they were on the verge of a breakthrough, Lena had no intention of letting this go. "Explain," she insisted, giving her daughter's arm a gentle squeeze.

"Because she doesn't," Callie muttered.

Giving her wife a look of concern, Lena continued to question her. "Mom doesn't what? Love you?"

Her heart went out to Stef when their daughter eventually nodded. If it troubled her to hear this revelation, she could only imagine how her wife was handling this. The both of them had always presumed Callie's discomfort around them stemmed from trying to avoid getting too close to them—not because she believed they didn't love her. If anything, they had been more than diligent in telling Callie and Jude that they loved them every night when they tucked them in.

"Oh, honey… no…" Stef breathed, shocked by what she was learning. "Where on earth would you get an idea like that, Cal?" Stef gathered her thoughts, trying to figure out how to make her child hear her. "My love, if you think for one second that I've spent all these months absolutely beside myself with worry over you—because I don't love you—" She paused, having a hard time keeping it together. "If you think there's anything you can do to make me not want you, then, I'm sorry Callie, but you have a lot more thinking to do!" she said as her voice cracked with emotion.

It upset her that as a parent, you couldn't win. They had been diligent in their efforts to not only show their love to Callie and being open about the adoption, but to keep her in line—precisely so they wouldn't lose her. How their daughter had managed to conclude exactly the opposite of that was confounding.

"You're lying!" Callie retorted.

"That is not helpful," Lena interjected calmly. Now they were getting somewhere. She placed a hand on Stef's knee, a subtle plea for patience. Another storm was edging closer and she felt wholly unprepared for it. "There is a reason you do not believe Mom and you need to tell us why."

But reeling from how her daughter had withdrawn from her, Stef's tolerance for Callie's reluctance to engage was quickly diminishing. "Are you mad at me for punishing you? Because I spanked you? What, Callie?" she said forcefully, frustration causing her to be harsher than she intended.

Shocked by the admonishment, Callie attempted to sidle up closer to Lena. It wasn't fair. Whenever she wasn't as forthcoming as the cop expected from her, she'd get reamed out. But if it was Stef hiding stuff, all of a sudden it didn't matter.

She wasn't at all prepared for Lena to catch her by the shoulders and hold her away. "No..." Callie whined as she was prevented from returning to the comfortable position they'd been in. She shook her head frantically, in disbelief over her foster mom's reaction. Now Lena didn't want her either. "No!"

While it was counterintuitive not to immediately respond to her daughter's needs, Lena maintained her grasp, stripping away Callie's opportunity to hide from them. It pained her to see the child so distraught and she hated doing this, but she was determined to get some answers. Callie would not be getting what she wanted until she was honest with them.

Catching Stef's sadness and confusion, Lena almost reconsidered what she was doing. Up til this moment, she would have never considered denying any of her children a hug because they weren't doing what was being asked of them. Especially not when they needed to be comforted. But this seemed like her only option and for the first time, she could truly empathize with her wife for resorting to something she wasn't fully comfortable with.

"Mama—no! I'm sorry! Sorry!"

Unable to stop her mind from delving into what Lena's actions might mean for her, Callie began to panic.

"Shh. Sh—sh—shh," Lena soothed in calming staccato as desperation filled her daughter's cries. "There's no need to be sorry. No one is going anywhere," she reassured, understanding the distress. "But you need to try and talk to us. That's all we're asking."

Desperate to get away, Callie tried pulling away; however, her foster mom wasn't letting go.

"No. You are right where you need to be right now. I meant it when I said no one is going anywhere," Lena said, sterner this time. She hated that it had come to this—that her willingness to respond to Callie's needs was suddenly conditional. But they were so close to having their answer that she wouldn't give up now.

As it would turn out, her hunch was correct.

Realizing that she was not going to win, Callie finally spoke. "Because...it's confusing."

"What is?" Stef asked, immediately softening. Equally as determined as Lena for more answers, she ducked her head for some eye contact with their daughter. The girl was telling Lena but this was obviously about her and Callie. "Up here," she said, turning Callie's chin back towards her when she averted her gaze. "What's confusing?" she begged.

Callie hesitated before accepting that saying the truth out loud wouldn't change how Stef felt about her. "Because it's not fair that you're trying to get me to like you. You're not allowed to do that," she said in a small voice.

"We're not trying to make you like us…" Lena started before realizing that Callie was no longer addressing her. None of this made sense but she was relieved their daughter had given them something to work with.

Feeling like she had no choice but to keep going, Callie gathered her courage. "I know I'm not what you expected… I made you disappointed," she said, a distant tremor to her words. "And you sh—shouldn't have to be nice when—when that's how you feel. It's not f—fair to you a—and to m—me, either." She stopped, forcing herself to take a deep breath as she squeezed her eyes shut. She wasn't going to cry in front of them if she could help it.

Still not understanding, Stef could only hope Callie would keep talking.

Finally, with a stoicism that suggested she was preparing to distance herself from the emotional riptide behind what she was about to say, Callie laid down her truth. "It's not fair that you're trying to get me to like you when you don't even want me," she managed before gluing her chin back to her chest.

The women exchanged bewildered looks, shocked by what they were hearing. They had just finished explaining to their daughter that she was very much was. What was it that was stopping her from believing them?

"Wha—what did you say?" Stef asked. "Cal. I want you—" she tried again before being cut off.

Callie shook her head. "But you didn't always!" she said as she sniffed back tears. There was no anger there—no fight. Only a sad sort of resignation about the situation.

"Sweetheart, why do you think that?" Lena interjected, shaking her gently to get her to focus. Slowly but surely, they were making progress but still didn't have all the details they needed.

A sob burst helplessly from Callie's lips. "Cause Mom—M—Mom—she said she didn't! She regrets me," she said, looking at Lena as a deep shudder echoed through her body.

As Lena fumbled to come up with a response to take some of the pressure off her wife, Callie turned her attention back to Stef. Her somber expression was quickly swirling into a storm.

"You lied! You said to Ma—ma you sh—hould've reported me for what I did so I'd get t—taken a—away so I would—n't live here any—more!" Callie said, choking on ragged breaths as the words tumbled out.

She couldn't remember the exact words but it'd been something like that. She had repeated them to herself countless times since that evening, when she stood at the back door deciding how to come back inside. Trying to figure out how she would act normal now that she had discovered how Stef really felt about her.

A fresh bout of tears streamed down her cheeks as fear gave way to fury. "You—you—said—I was done! When Mike brought me home you said I was DONE! You didn't w—want me f—from then!" Callie screamed, angry at Stef for her confusion. There was no way Stef could deny this. Yet, the cop was shaking her head.

"Out—SIDE!" She struggled to catch her breath as the knot of disappointment and betrayal within unravelled. "But I wanted to believe you! I WANTED to stay a—and YOU changed your mind af—ter you said I c—could. And—and you can't DO that! Be—cause I was starting to—I WAS STARTING TO BELIEVE YOU. YOU DON'T GET TO DO THAT!" she blubbered. Wrenching herself away from Lena, she clamped her hand over her mouth as her stomach turned inside out, causing her to gag.

Lena hurried to grab the tissues off the nightstand. This wouldn't be the first time Callie had become so upset that she made herself sick, and she felt guilty for letting it get this far by waiting to comfort her daughter. "Oh, honey," she said, letting out a sigh as another dry heave interrupted the broken cries.

Embarrassed that this was the moment her body was choosing to revolt against her, Callie covered her face with her palms. It'd hurt so much more than she had imagined to tell them. But at least now it was out there and she wouldn't have to walk around with all of that on her heart anymore.

Lena gently pulled Callie's arms down. "Don't do that. Don't hide." This was a habit of both Callie and Jude's she had been trying to break, so they would understand their home was where they could express their emotions safely.

Folding a Kleenex in half, she held it up to her daughter's mouth and instructed her to spit. When she finished, Lena grabbed a fresh tissue and began to dry her cheeks. Callie let her, looking absolutely bereft as she shook through double-breaths in the aftermath of the storm.

"No more crying…shh...shhhh."

Of course. Their argument. She thought she had heard these exact sentiments in another context before.

When her attempts to console her daughter fell flat, Lena sat back against the headboard and wrapped an arm around her, cradling her close. Initially, Callie tried to pull away but with gentle persistence, she stilled and her crying lessened.

As she wondered what she could say, Lena rested her cheek against her daughter's hair. She was frustrated with Callie for eavesdropping but didn't have the heart to scold her right now. "You know what, honey? I am so proud that you chose to talk to Mom and I. Nothing about that was easy. It took a lot of strength and courage to speak up."

She couldn't believe Callie had walked around with the weight of Stef's words for weeks without so much as a word. No wonder her insecurity had hit a fever pitch.

"You're right. Mom did say that, didn't she?" Lena agreed as she sighed sympathetically. Pressing a kiss to the thick waves, she looked grimly at Stef to see if her wife understood how this misunderstanding had evolved. She wasn't interested in disputing it right away because whether or not this was true was irrelevant. They'd be getting to that soon enough. What mattered was that Callie was convinced that it was.

Disappointed, Callie realized that a small part of her had been holding out for Lena to say she was wrong. That she had heard wrong and it was all a huge mistake.

Lena watched her wife's expression change from one of surprise to betrayal. For a split second, she was hopeful that Stef might have grasped what had caused their daughter to come up with the conclusion she had. Unfortunately, now it was obvious that Stef was completely unaware of her own culpability.

Annoyed by how readily Lena had agreed with their daughter over something she couldn't recall ever saying, Stef shot a perturbed glance in her direction. There had to be some sort of misunderstanding. "Cal. I don't think I ever said that. I wouldn't say that," she tried to explain before falling silent.

What the hell? Stef mouthed, throwing her hands up in irritation when Lena shook her head slowly. She had no idea what she'd done, but her wife was clearly furious.

"Seriously, Stef? Don't," Lena said angrily as she glowered at the woman. Disconcerted by their exchange, Callie had dissolved back into sobs. She blamed Stef for that, too.

Part of why she had discouraged Stef from arguing was because she knew that denying what Callie had overheard would only make things worse. But more than that, her irritation was quickly reaching a boiling point. This wasn't the first time Stef's sarcasm had caused hurt feelings amongst their children, though it'd become less of a problem as they grew older. Now they were able to tolerate and even appreciate their Mom's humour. But it hadn't always been like that. For a long time, B, Mariana, and Jesus took their mother's remarks seriously in the way young children often did. Personally.

However, Stef had forgotten about their newest children. Of course Callie had taken the comments literally and misinterpreted things. Given that she was thirteen, it was easy to forget that some aspects of her socioemotional development wasn't on par with her age yet.

"Baby girl…" Lena soothed as she stroked Callie's hair. "I am guessing that you listened in on a conversation that you knew was not meant for your ears," she said softly so the girl wouldn't mistake her correction as anger. "Something private. And maybe that was why you weren't so keen on coming to us."

Callie stared at her, astonished.

"This was the afternoon Mom helped you in the garage with your cassettes, am I right? She had agreed to give you some time out there by yourself before dinner," Lena continued, more to jog her wife's memory than for Callie. She cocked an expectant brow at Stef, waiting for her to clue in. It took every ounce of self control not to huff in irritation when she realized her wife still didn't get it. Her forgetfulness was astounding.

Hiccupping, the girl nodded sadly.

Still concerned by Callie's dysregulated breathing, Lena rubbed her back. "Mom and I were having a pretty big disagreement, weren't we?" She kept the details vague on purpose to avoid divulging more than she needed to. She and Stef had a right to their privacy, too.

"Some of what you heard was said in sarcasm when we got frustrated with each other," Lena explained, continuing to glare at her wife intermittently. "Let me finish," she warned when Callie tried to argue. "Mom did not mean for what she was saying to be taken literally—or seriously. I know because there were two people involved in that conversation, from beginning to end, and I was one of them. You were not there for its entirety, Callie. In fact, I'm guessing you only heard a snapshot of it, but I can understand why it was easy to take out of context."

Callie wasn't sure she understood. Why did it matter that it was only some of what they were talking about? To her, the words still held the same meaning. She was about to ask but bit her tongue; Lena had made it clear that she was expected to listen and not talk back right now.

The cop drew in a swift breath as the familiarity of her daughter's words finally hit her. "Oh, no, Bug…no, no, no," she gasped, the gravity of what had transpired sinking in. She reached for Callie's hand, grateful when she didn't recoil from her this time. "I am so sorry."

After having left Callie in the garage with a working tape player, she had gone inside to debrief the meeting with Lena. Shortly after that, they had started arguing when the topic of filing an incident report for the corporal punishment that had taken place in their home had been brought up again. Lena viewed her vehement opposition to reporting as blatant dishonesty and disregard of the policies around fostering—but despite her anger, her wife had been respectful. She, on the other hand, had bitten back and gotten snarky.

Although she was certain she hadn't uttered the words Callie had attributed to her, she also couldn't remember exactly what had been said. She did, however, have no doubt that it had sounded every bit as genuine and mean as what Callie had repeated. It was a situation in which semantics didn't matter. Because the end result was the same: she had hurt her child by making her feel worthless and unloved. An inconvenience she couldn't wait to rid herself of.

Her words had only been meant for Lena, but her guilt over the distress it had caused her daughter was all-consuming. She wished she had never said those things at all. Privacy assumed or not, she had been wrong.

"Mama's right. We were having a private conversation and unfortunately started arguing. I was being incredibly sarcastic when I became frustrated—that was how I chose to deal with it and I'm sorry you had to hear that."

Not only was she dismayed Callie had listened to the comments about her, but that she had heard her speaking to her spouse the way she had. "I was disrespectful. Period. I shouldn't have said those things about you or talked to Mama the way I did. I—I feel terrible that you thought I meant them, because I did not, Callie."

In recent weeks, it seemed all she had done was remind Callie that she had lost their trust. It never occurred to her that she had managed to lose Callie's faith in her. That she would potentially never get it back was a tough pill to swallow.

"Yes, I was disappointed and angry with you. Yes, you had scared me half to death with some of your choices. But I have never regretted you. Nor have I ever wished for you to be taken away from us. Not once," she said, becoming distraught over the possibility that her explanation might not be accepted.

Stef paused as she tried to make eye contact with the girl. "Please—please tell me what you're thinking," she begged when Callie remained silent. Wanting to hear her say something, she cupped her daughter's cheeks between her palms. "Sweetness, this is not something we can just stop talking about. You thought I didn't want you?" she said, her voice pitching with desperation.

As a parent, the idea of any of their children being removed from their home was terrifying. When it came to Callie, she had vowed to herself to do everything she could to prevent that from happening. So it hurt knowing that Callie believed she wanted her to be taken away.

"You could not have been more wrong, baby," she replied, the words catching in her throat at the defeated nod her daughter gave her. "What have I always told you? No matter what sort of trouble you're in or how upset we may be with you, our love for you doesn't change. It's unconditional.

"We don't…throw people away like they don't matter, Bug," she whispered, choking back tears as she realized how counterintuitive this concept might be for Callie, especially since it went against what had been ingrained in her by previous caregivers. Finding it not only difficult to formulate her words but to speak at all, Stef was forced to stop for a moment.

"There is nothing—nothing you can do that would make me not want you. I would never wish for you to not be a part of this family. Ever. Do you—hear—me, Callie?"

Heart in her mouth, she watched the girl chew her bottom lip, scrutinizing her. Possibly wondering if she was telling her the truth.

"I—I need an answer, Callie girl," she said, no longer able to hide the fact that she was crying.

She was waiting for some sort of verbal acknowledgment to gauge her daughter's level of understanding in all of this and to find out where they stood. Anything that would indicate where they were at in terms of trust so she knew how to start fixing this.

"I need an ANSWER from you!" she repeated, more forcefully this time when the girl refused to say anything. Her voice cracked in anguish, rendering her a stranger to herself. "I need to KNOW, Callie!"

Callie flinched, startled by her foster mom's abruptness and the emotional distortion in her words that made her suddenly unrecognizable. "I know. I KNOW!" she shouted as she began to cry in earnest. Annoyed by the way her body had reacted, she pulled away from Stef.

After taking in what they had to say, she trusted them. Everything that they'd told her checked out and she could not think of any other reason to doubt them. But a deep sense of foolishness for having misinterpreted what she'd heard—as well as being called out for eavesdropping was pushing her relief into an uncomfortable territory where embarrassment preyed upon feelings of inadequacy.

"Is this why you became so angry with Mom when she said she loved you?" Lena questioned. She could read Callie well enough to understand that she was self-conscious and hoped the distraction would help. "You thought she didn't want you and she didn't deserve to say that if that was the case. It hurt your feelings," she said knowingly. Initially, she had struggled to understand, but the answer was apparent now. Callie had managed to tell them everything they needed to be able to put the pieces together.

Her daughter nodded shyly before snuggling closer. Guessing that was all she would be getting for an answer, Lena was about to prompt her when Callie elaborated.

"Yeah…it did. 'Cause it's not fair," Callie said, her anger right away softening with Lena's calmness. She swallowed the lump in her throat at the reminder of all those mixed up feelings as she tried to explain herself. "I guess I was starting to get excited. No one's liked me enough to keep me before. So it was special to think about staying here," she admitted.

Feeling awkward, she fingered the edge of the blanket she had over her. Being in care, they never got to pick their families. It almost always came down to who was willing to take them—wherever Bill brought them. But she had come to the realization that she really liked the idea of being able to pick Stef and Lena to be her family. And they had given both her and Jude that opportunity, simply by asking them if they were okay with being adopted. She had wanted this to work out.

Callie took a deep breath and averted her gaze, not sure what else to say. "Something like that."

"It makes me so happy that you were excited, love. Because Mom and I would like nothing more than for you to stay with us forever, and it's special for us to hear you were excited about that, too. But I can see why that would make it even more hurtful to think Mom didn't want you. Why it didn't seem fair," Lena empathized as she smoothed the girl's hair. "But you know it's not true, right? Mom did not mean for her words to be taken seriously."

Seeing her wife try to inconspicuously wipe her eyes, Lena knew Stef was struggling. She extended her leg under the blanket so it connected with Stef's, letting her know she was there. They would get through this together.

The cop gave her a rueful look at the gesture of support. "Bug. I'm glad you chose to tell us but I am so sorry that you kept this to yourself this whole time. That's some heavy stuff to have been carrying on your own. I can't imagine what that must've been like for you." They could have saved her so much grief if they'd known.

"I wish I could've told you," Callie conceded. "I guess, I just kinda got stuck on how to change your mind."

"Change our minds about what?" Stef asked.

Callie fidgeted, feeling foolish at what she was about to admit to. If they had talked earlier, she would've felt a lot better. "About maybe not adopting me anymore. I...I figured that if I could be better for you...like if I wasn't as big a problem, you'd be okay with me staying."

"I'm going to stop you right there, Cal. Because that's not how things work around here. Mama and I, we never had conditions on your adoption. It was always our intention to follow through and continues to be."

"I know." Callie blew out a breath she hadn't realized she was holding in. It was nice to be reminded.

"Do you have any questions about anything we've talked about?" Lena asked after they'd sat together for awhile. She could tell there was a question brewing in the girl.

This time, Callie didn't hesitate to bring up what was on her mind. "How come you guys were fighting about me?" she asked curiously. Stef and Lena didn't argue. Sometimes they'd rag on each other, but it usually didn't seem to be a big deal. That day was the first time she had discovered them fighting.

Stef smiled painfully at Callie before glancing at her wife for guidance. She always preferred honesty with the children but also worried that at thirteen, their daughter wasn't mature enough to hear everything and that she might try to use their disagreement about discipline to her advantage.

Lena nodded at Stef, encouraging her to go ahead. She also had her concerns but believed being open with Callie for the sake of building trust would be best.

"Well, you know how Mama and I like to talk about everything?" Stef began. "She wasn't too happy that you had gotten a spanking without it being discussed between us. We were…talking about our feelings about that and ended up arguing. It happens sometimes," she explained patiently. There was no reason to get into any more than that. Guessing what Callie was probably thinking and needing to set her straight, she turned the girl's face towards her. "This was not your fault, sweetness. Mama and I may have had an argument about you but you were not to blame for it. Understand?" she clarified, reassured at the answer, a mumbled "Yeah."

It was an important point because given the chance, she was convinced Callie would take blame for their fight. And tonight was a reminder that Callie was so internalizing that it was on them to anticipate potential misunderstandings—not the other way around.

Her concern stemmed from her own parents' separation. While it'd happened decades ago, she still remembered her guilt over their explosive fights and her inclination to interrupt with a question or joke—anything to burst the tension. The overwhelming pressure to behave, to give her father one less reason to blame her mom, to avoid making an already fragile situation worse. How crushed she was when he finally walked out… because she hadn't been a good enough reason for him to stay.

Cheeks burning at the reminder of the consequence for going into the gun safe, Callie moved slightly away from Lena. "Are you…still mad at Mom?" she asked worriedly. She had had a feeling that Lena was angry at Stef after, but apart from that nothing seemed amiss.

"No, honey. We talked about it and aren't upset with each other anymore," Lena said, attune to the sudden anxiety. She was careful to use language to indicate their frustrations had been more mutual than one-sided. "That's the beauty of family. We might have moments when we aren't our best towards one another but ultimately, we still support and care for and can forgive them." She hoped there was a lesson somewhere in there that they could reflect on and use to move forward.

The girl's protectiveness of Stef was endearing. It hadn't been long since Callie had been angry with the cop. Yet Callie still worried about where the two adults in her life stood in terms of their relationship with each other.

"I'll understand if you're still mad at me, Bug…but I hope that you'll forgive me. When you're ready to," Stef offered. Callie had every right to be mad and she wasn't going to push her.

Her daughter looked up, surprised. "I'm not mad anymore," she said softly.

"You're not?" Stef questioned, wondering if she was being told what she wanted to hear.

Callie shook her head. After the women's explanation and learning that she'd been wrong, she was feeling better. Now that she thought about it, the cop did often tease them by saying things she didn't mean but it was always done in fun and not anger. She hadn't considered that sarcasm could also be angry, and now felt embarrassed by the whole situation. Stef hadn't really done anything wrong; she'd been telling the truth the entire time.

"No. I…I just…" She trailed off, her mind onto something else.

Noticing the knit forming in the girl's brow, Lena nudged her in the side. "What are you thinking about, Callie girl?" That was enough to snap her attention back to them.

"Huh? Oh...it's just…Mom said stuff she didn't mean because she was angry…and that was sarcastic," Callie said slowly, as if reconsidering their explanation. She then shifted her attention to Stef. "But when we say stuff we don't mean because we're mad, we get told off because that's mouthing off or giving you lip," she said, using air quotes to make her point. The double standard had not been missed on her. "I just wish you weren't so hypocritical."

"Yes, love. That—you are absolutely right. It's not fair—" Stef stammered. She was quailing under her daughter's disapproving scowl, trying to guess if it was something Callie had managed to pick up from her or from Lena. Was that really how they came across when they were angry?

Callie narrowed her gaze at the cop. It was not funny. "You were giving Mama lip!" she said, flabbergasted at what she'd put together.

Lena had to try and hide her amusement. Her wife, rendered speechless, had apparently not been expecting to be in the hot seat over this. Of all things to have taken away from their conversation, it was so much like Callie to pick up on how Stef's actions had affected someone other than herself—even though it had been her feelings that had gotten hurt. It was endearing, but also spoke to how Callie was used to putting herself last. They would need to work on that.

"I hadn't thought about it that way…" Stef admitted, feeling uncomfortable at having raised Callie's ire. She blew out a breath, forcing herself to set aside her pride for the sake of turning this into a teachable moment in grace and humility for the child. "That's a good point. I was giving Mama lip and she did not deserve that from me. And you didn't, either," she fumbled, regretting her temper all over again. "I'm so sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could take it back."

"Yes, it may have been unintentional but it was still disrespectful. That's why, from now on, Mom is going to be more careful with her words, because no one deserves that," Lena chimed in, trying very hard not to laugh as she looked expectantly at Stef. She winked at Callie, prompting a grin to spread across her young face for the first time since Stef had joined them.

"What's so funny?" Stef demanded, not missing Callie's glee. Still, it was a nice reprieve from Callie's unrelenting glare.

"You got in trouble with Mama!"

"Yes. Thank you, Callie," the cop replied as sternly as she could. Pinching the bridge of her nose to distract from the prickle in her sinuses, she hoped this would be the end of their discussion. It was getting harder to keep her composure intact and she was sure if she talked anymore she would really be crying. The evening had been rough but it was Callie's forgiving nature, as well as her concern and protectiveness for her and Lena, that had done a number on her emotions. Callie cared for them deeply.

Taken aback by the slight break in the woman's voice, Callie flicked a cautious glance her direction. She caught the watery smile and in a fleeting moment of realization, understood she was the one responsible for Stef's sadness.

"I'm not mad." She withdrew her lip into her mouth before eying her foster mom once again. Doubtful those words had succeeded in making her feel any better, she left her comfortable position beside Lena and scooted over.

"Don't cry, Mom. I forgive you," Callie said, her expression somber.

"Bug…" Stef's breath caught in her throat. With the direction things had been heading in earlier that evening, she had not anticipated forgiveness at all. Negotiating the unexpected arms around her to help her sweet child into her lap, she held her tight—taking solace in the fact that Callie was allowing her to.

Stef rested her cheek against the girl's, finally allowing her tears to fall without restraint. From this angle, she could see Lena's hand pressed to her chest, overwhelmed by the tenderness and concern inherent in Callie's actions.

"Are you okay?" she asked, squeezing her daughter a little in her arms. While it was a relief that they were alright, she still needed to know about Callie.

This time, when the girl nodded, she was convinced her affirmation was genuine. As though Callie finally had the level of security both she and Lena had always hoped for her.

For the first time, light had come in through cracks in the tunnel they'd been in—allowing the both of them to see what had been going on and to understand their daughter a little bit better. Because up until now, everything they knew about her insecurity had been an assumption—theorized by everyone but Callie and imposed on her. It helped explain some things in general but failed to tell her story. But now that the missing piece had been spoken for, they had some background that could help them avoid triggering Callie's deep-seated fear of rejection. Their relationship could grow on a foundation of greater trust and understanding. And making progress would no longer be a battle in which the majority of energy was spent on gentle handling of fragile trust.

That was the hope, at least.

"I care about you so much, honey. And I always will, whether you want me to or not, because that's part of our job as parents." It pained her to avoid the word love but she had to respect Callie's boundary. "You're stuck with me, kiddo. I'm sorry but that's the way it is," Stef said, her breath hitching.

"I will have you know, young lady—" she continued before clamping a hand over her mouth to suppress a sob. "You may not have grown under my heart…but you grew in it," she whispered, barely able to utter her words.

"What now?" she snapped once she regained her composure, slightly hurt when Callie snorted with laughter.

"You're cheesy," the girl managed. Not confident she could keep a neutral expression, she bit her lip.

"What was that?" Stef asked, pretending not to have heard in the way one does when feigning offence.

Callie flashed a mischievous smile before wrapping her arms around her foster mom again and resting her head on her shoulder. Stef was teary, but she knew the woman was happier now.

"I said, my Mom is cheesy."

"No way," Stef griped when she came back in. In the time that it had taken her to wash her face and get a glass of water, Callie had drifted off. Slumped against Lena, the two of them were smack-dab in the middle of the bed, leaving less than two feet of space on either side. There had been no teeth brushing and the vitamin sat untouched on the bedside table.

While nothing made her happier than Callie feeling safe enough to fall asleep in their bed, tonight had left her completely drained and her nerves shot. All she wanted was to cuddle up next to Lena and be reassured that she wasn't nearly as terrible a person as she felt she was. And that their daughter would be okay.

"She's light. I bet I could get her into her bed without waking her up," Stef said hopefully. "She'll be more comfortable there anyway."

"Mmhm, I'm sure you would be more comfortable with Callie in her own bed, too," Lena said, making it clear she wouldn't be diverting her attention from the iPad anytime soon. She was not amused by that suggestion; with Callie's poor sleep lately, she wasn't willing to risk it. "Nice try, but you're not taking her anywhere." Plus, her wife deserved a little discomfort for her sarcastic ways. "I guess you will be taking Callie or B's bed tonight," she said with a smirk.

"But…those IKEA mattresses are awful for my back," Stef said, pouting despite being fully aware that she wouldn't be getting any sympathy. Her face lit up with an idea. "You know, I could always stay right here with you." She husked Lena's ear with determination, pleased when her efforts succeeded in softening her wife's frown.

Lena hit her on the arm as she tried not to laugh. "Shh! You're going to wake her up!" she scolded, feigning irritation before rewarding Stef with a kiss for her persistence.

Peering over Lena's shoulder, the cop looked fondly at their daughter. Callie was wedged in the woman's armpit, snoring away. It was difficult to believe this was the same pale, thin child who'd come into their lives only months ago. Since then, she had grown at least an inch and had put on some weight, filling out her face. Her complexion was noticeably brighter.

Stef let out a sigh. "Actually…I should probably sleep in B's bed. Think we need to keep an eye on our baby."

Lena was immediately concerned. "Something happen at Connor's?"

"No, no. Sounds like he had plenty of fun. He kept thanking me on the way home for letting him go over there." The cop laughed. "I had to remind him he'd only been allowed because of their class project," she added, referring to Jude still being grounded for hiding his assignments from them. Glancing over at Callie, she dropped her voice even though the girl's breaths were deep and evenly spaced with sleep. "He might be under some stress with everything going on, that's all. It was hard to tell but when I went to tuck him in, it looked like he might've had his fingers in his mouth." She hadn't said anything to him, of course; her dislike of the habit wasn't anything to shame him over.

"I'll check his hands tomorrow when I help him with his bath," Lena offered, not entirely sure what could be done if these behaviours soothed him. To be honest, she had been expecting some sort of regression so wasn't entirely surprised. Now and then, a sore spot would appear on his mouth that she guessed was from chewing the delicate skin.

"I think this one used to suck her thumb, too. For a while," she said, nodding at Callie. Their daughter had a slight open bite offset to the side that was only noticeable up close. "Can we afford braces?"

Stef shrugged. "Probably? We did them for Miss Thang. But she actually liked the dentist," she laughed, sharing an amused expression with her wife. "I mean…as long as it's aesthetic and not causing her any pain while eating, it'd be up to Callie if she would like them." Mariana had been offered the same option.

"That reminds me. We need to take her to Dr. Stone soon," Lena said. Callie was due at the dentist's. It had been easy to put off, in part because they worried about how it would go and because it had been less of a priority than getting her used to seeing their doctor.

Stef groaned. She had granted herself the convenience of forgetting about that. "Right."

"Speaking of Mariana, how was her evening?"

"The girls had an argument. She didn't say too much, I think she was holding out for her Mama."

"Not again…" Lena sighed. "I'll check in with her tomorrow."

Their two daughters made up a strange dichotomy. Mariana, though younger, was precocious and meeting many of the milestones they were hoping for Callie. She had a strong sense of identity with ideas of what she saw herself doing with her life. Much to Stef's chagrin, she was dying to enter puberty and would spend an absurd amount of time tending to her appearance. She also had an extensive social network comprised of relationships that she was invested in, at times overly so.

Callie, on the other hand, wasn't too bothered by how others saw her. As far as they knew, Wyatt was her only friend at school. While a lot of it probably had to do with having moved around so much and not wanting to get attached, she and Lena had learned Callie was also very introverted—content and preferring to be by herself. She also did well in school, but it wasn't connected to long-term goals beyond graduation. Getting her to plan for homework due each week was a struggle—anything that involved a timeline longer than that seemed to overwhelm her organizational capacity and was next to impossible for Callie to comprehend.

Grabbing the closest pillow, Lena carefully jammed it between herself and Callie so she could ease the girl onto the bed. Not comfortable taking her eyes off their daughter while they talked, she lay on her side, propping herself up on her forearm to look over her. At being shifted into a different position, Callie mumbled something incomprehensible but remained asleep.

"Maybe I need to call in sick and keep her home tomorrow," Lena murmured, brushing away the flyaways stuck to Callie's forehead. Her eyes were still puffy and raw from all the crying. "She seems so run down."

"I don't know, honey… She's missed a lot of school lately. What if she does really get sick?" Stef sighed knowingly; ninety-nine percent of the time, whenever her wife suggested this with any of their children, she already had her mind made up. "Maybe see how tonight goes and reevaluate in the morning? It would do her some good to be home with you, though. To get some rest and time alone with Mama." She rubbed Lena's back before letting her hands fall into an impromptu massage.

Stef blinked back tears as she leaned against the headboard and stared up at the ceiling. She was grateful that the storm had passed but processing what had happened tonight troubled her in new ways. "I can't believe she kept this all to herself," she whispered so she wouldn't wake Callie. It'd been weeks since the blowup between herself and Lena.

Things were a whole lot clearer now. Callie's overwhelming guilt at every misstep and her sensitivity to anything that remotely resembled criticism, even in the form of slight reminders. The repeated apologies for the night terror having kept her up and the family's late start the next day. Why Callie had tearfully told Lena, "Stef's mad," when they found her crying in her room that night following Bill's visit. They thought it'd been a bad dream, triggered from the stress of the family meeting—but in hindsight, it was more likely that she had been referring to the argument between herself and Lena. It was why Callie had begged Jude not to ask Lena for help with his homework. So that he would be "easy" enough for Lena to "keep loving" him. It was probably why she'd been helping with his homework despite being warned not to. Why she had signed off on his assignments. Why, many days, their daughter appeared as though she was wandering around simply confused.

Some of Callie's mistakes had been decisions made from feeling cornered into them, and Stef's heart ached knowing that remarks she had made in a fit of anger towards Lena had preyed upon Callie's worries. Not understanding their love was unconditional, she had taken the words literally and had been convinced their home was no longer a sustainable living situation. That eventually they would renege on their promise to adopt her.

It explained the fear and resentment displayed in some of her interactions with them. As Callie had put it, by the time she had learned what she thought Stef meant, she'd already started getting comfortable with the idea of staying with them. She wanted it to work out. Afraid of jeopardizing things any further, she had returned to walking on eggshells to try to stay out of their way and be on her best behaviour. If her ability to stay with them was conditional, Callie had been determined to turn it around. She was angry, though, at her perception of being misled and having been given a reason to doubt them.

This ambiguity of feelings formed the backdrop of episodes of clinginess—during which Callie didn't leave their side—which would just as quickly swing to withdrawal for no apparent reason. It was her wanting to accept them, then creating distance when she felt she was getting too close—an attempt at convincing herself she didn't need them in preparation for things to end. Why recently, despite excitedly telling them everything she wanted to do together as a family, she refused to participate in plans to make any of it a reality. In fact, Callie had been refusing to talk about the adoption at all.

"She's been so worried about doing something wrong and us getting rid of her," Stef said quietly. She had definitely caught a glimpse of her daughter's fears the afternoon they'd lost each other in the store parking lot—when Callie admitted to believing she'd been left behind with money and snacks. Stef had been incredulous at the time; although she appreciated the true extent of the girl's insecurity, it hadn't occurred to her how this anxiety had come about.

Lena nodded. "She's been trying so hard." The fast-rising anxiety had not gone unnoticed but neither of them could figure it out. She now understood that Callie had been desperate to show them that she was worth it, as Dr. Wiseman had explained. But like anyone her age, it'd been impossible to avoid mistakes. Over the last few weeks, Callie had begun to crumble under the pressure.

"That was all my fault, Lena. I can't believe she thought I didn't want her."

"It wasn't all on you, Stef. We were both arguing," Lena countered. There was no way they would have been as inflammatory with their remarks had they been aware of prying ears. "That conversation only went the way it did—well, and happened at all—because we thought we had privacy."

It was a lesson in discretion for both of them. A reminder that, with five other pairs of ears around, they needed to be more selective about where and when their disagreements took place.

Lena stroked Callie's hair, prompting her to mumble in her sleep. "Baby girl also learned a tough lesson about listening in on others. Didn't you?" she asked, pressing a firm kiss to the brown curls to see if Callie would wake before they continued. They would be talking about this tomorrow.

"You should've seen her when I got in tonight. She was so afraid…" Stef began, aware that her wife probably had little idea of the events leading up to the meltdown. "She had destroyed her book and broken the lamp, and tried to stop me from going into her and Mari's room. There was debris under the bed but a lot of it was still all over the floor. I was cleaning it up and she snapped, Lena," she sighed. The attempt to hide the mess had been juvenile but she imagined it must have been the only solution Callie could come up with at the time.

Stef hesitated, remembering that there was another thing she needed to talk to her wife about. "Did she happen to mention that she left the house before I got home?"

"No," Lena said, drawing out the word as she turned around to stare incredulously at her wife. Callie hadn't brought that up at all. "She did say she had forgotten to take out the garbage and after that the back door slammed. That was earlier though, while I was in the bath."

That their daughter had kept this piece of information to herself did not surprise Stef. Earlier that evening, Callie had been extremely reluctant when she had made it clear they needed to discuss her leaving the house with Lena. Still, she wished she had waited until at least the morning to mention it; they were both so tired at this point. But now that she had, she couldn't avoid telling Lena the rest of the story. "Well…it was a little more than that, I'm afraid," Stef said, wincing.

"What do you mean it was more than that?"

"Callie decided to run away. She got as far as the park before I guess she changed her mind."

"She went to the park on her own? This evening?" Lena asked in disbelief.

"That's what it sounded like, unfortunately. I'll fill you in on everything tomorrow when I'm on break."

Lena frowned, concern etched into her features. She did not like the sound of that, and her gut told her that Stef glazing over this suggested there was more but that she didn't want to burden her with whatever it was right now. Though Lena was curious, she stopped herself from asking additional questions. Because she didn't think she had the stamina to process any more information on top of everything else that had taken place tonight.

"She was so angry with me, Lena."

"That was pure rage," Lena agreed, thankful for the switch in focus to what she was familiar with. "Gisella did warn us this might happen more as her attachment to us increases."

Stef groaned. "I don't think I could take another meltdown like that," she complained, curling her knees up so she could huddle up to Lena's back. It had been draining and wasn't something she would be forgetting, nor keen on repeating, anytime soon. "Don't get me wrong. I do want her to feel comfortable with us—I do—but that kind of fight was...whew."

Lena couldn't help but roll her eyes and laugh. Her poor, unshakeable, police officer wife had met her match in the form of their spirited thirteen-year-old.

Stef's brow creased with worry. "Is that terrible of me?" she whispered, guilty over the slight resentment she harboured over what was essentially a milestone for Callie.

"No. You're not wrong for feeling that way, honey," Lena reassured, understanding where her wife was coming from.

"You know what, though? This was the best thing to have ever happened. No, really," she insisted when her wife scoffed. "She said she wanted to stay, Stef." Her voice was nearly breaking with emotion. It had been something she had begun to suspect but finally having Callie tell them in her own words had been the best gift they could have ever asked for.

"You learned this was your home, didn't you?" Lena murmured, stroking her daughter's cheek. Hugging the pillow, Callie looked at peace.

"That you're home."

A/N:

We made it! Looking forward to hearing your thoughts on how this chapter went, as well as what lies ahead for the family.