Author Note:

Thanks everyone for your responses to the last chapter. I'm so looking forward to exploring the new dynamic between Callie and the Moms now that the misunderstanding is out in the open. Like many of you brought up, it won't be perfect—but with Callie's acceptance of her permanent family a significant shift in their relationship can begin to take place. I still envision ups and downs but without the opportunity for things to brew.

This chapter allows Jude a rare moment with Stef, inspired by some of your requests.

As always, props to my beta reader theypreferthetermpeople for her lovely work. Happy reading, ~b'shert

Chapter 42: Coming Clean

"Alright, my loves, have a wonderful day! I'll be here for the last bell," Stef said as she pulled into the school parking lot. Once parked, she eyed each of her children in turn. "And for heaven's sake, listen to your teachers and behave yourselves. I do not want to hear about any funny business while Mama is not at work," she commanded even though the warning was essentially futile. Whether Lena was in her office or not made no difference in her children's behaviour. Still, for good measure, she fixed her gaze on Jesus for a little longer than his siblings. "This message is for some of you more than others," she clarified, seeing Jude becoming uncomfortable by the exchange as he sat sandwiched between his older brothers in the backseat.

"Always, Mom!" Jesus said enthusiastically, causing her to raise a skeptical brow.

"HA! I'll believe it when I see it. You'd better behave or there will be trouble between you and me, young man," Stef warned. This was their little shpiel on the rare occasion she dropped them off at school and her son, despite being all-too-familiar with the consequences at home for acting up at school, enjoyed it greatly—as did the rest of the kids.

Jesus flashed her a mischievous grin, not minding his siblings laughing at him if it meant having their attention. "Yes ma'am!"

The cop sighed inwardly, reminded of his impulsivity. More and more, Lena was convinced that it was a sign of a larger problem that needed attention. She wasn't sure, though. Like Callie, he had a good heart and always meant well but would somehow get caught up in the moment, unable to explain himself. Often, his missteps were not any less serious than his sister's, yet he enjoyed the freedoms of being a normal kid with normal boundaries where the consequences were restricted to home and school. He could skip a class or get into a scuffle without the added scrutiny of a parole officer or being in the system—whereas for Callie, these were violations of her parole that could send her back to juvie for another stint. Normal, albeit not well-thought-out, kid decisions were criminalized and risked ruining Callie's life, while Jesús was simply grounded or lectured by his moms. Some days, after several trips to the Principal's office, it felt like this difference was the only thing working in his favour.

"HOLD IT!" Stef bellowed above the sound of backpacks shuffling and bodies scooting across the seats. "I'm not done!

"Remember, Mama's not available today," she resumed once they'd quieted down.

"We know," Mariana groaned. It was only the third time that fact had brought it up this morning. "If there's an emergency and we need something, call your work. Not Mama because she's too busy with Callie. We can either use the office phone or B's phone. He's the only one that has one because he's your favourite," she added, unable to help herself.

Stef's mouth fell agape as she slowly turned her attention to the front passenger seat to a chorus of ooohh's courtesy of her elder sons. Mariana had been bugging them for her own phone for months with no success. Dissatisfied with not getting her way, she'd made it a habit to remind them of her unhappiness every chance she got.

"Being the favourite does have its perks," Brandon boasted to Jesus, loud enough for their sister to hear before realizing that unfortunately, it meant his Mom had heard him, too.

"Boys. Enough," Stef said in exasperation, not taking her eyes off her daughter. She'd been hoping to get through the morning without having to deal with any sass from their children but this one evidently had other plans.

"First of all—Mariana—Mama is never too busy for any of you," Stef began. Her younger daughter had her own insecurities and she knew how hard it had hit her when she had learned that, not only did she have to share her Moms with two new siblings, but would have to share her room, too. "I suggested that you call me first because she is taking care of Callie and will probably not be able to respond as quickly as you might like, and because I do not want you calling her multiple times." She paused, watching the skepticism fade from the girl's face.

"Secondly. Those phones belong to Mama and I." Not wanting to cultivate attitudes of entitlement amongst her children, she frequently reminded them that these items were a privilege only offered to them because she and her wife worked for them. Other than begging to have them, the kids weren't truly responsible for their maintenance. Lena disagreed with the language, but it was what Stef was used to hearing from the way she'd been raised and she was less bothered by it. "Alsoyou know very well that we do not play favorites so I don't appreciate you bringing it up to try to work it to your advantage. B and Callie both have phones because they're thirteen, which is when we will consider getting one for you. The more you bring this up, Mariana, the more likely you'll end up further away from your goal, so I suggest thinking twice before mentioning it again. Am I clear?" she warned as her daughter sighed loudly, pouting at the unfairness of it all.

"Okay, Mom! I got it. Geez..." Mariana whined as she stared out the window. Unlike Jesus, she didn't like being told off in front of the others.

"Thank you. I know how much you'd hate to wait beyond that," Stef added. "And B. Do not goad your sister like that."

"Sorry, Mom."

"Yeah you'd better be," she griped. He knew how insecure Mariana could be and frankly, knew better. "Now go. Learn something!" she ordered. "I'll see you at three-thirty. Don't be late or you'll be taking the scenic route home." Another empty threat since she wouldn't really make them walk home.

When she glanced in the rearview, Jude was sitting forlorn in the centre seat. He had gotten as far as undoing his seatbelt but wasn't moving—and from the looks of it, wasn't planning to. Ever since he had learned Callie wouldn't be able to go to school today, he'd begged and begged to stay home.

"But. But what if I miss her?" he had demanded the last time she shut him down. His voice had been shrill as he approached tears, grating on her last nerve. It'd been his way of telling her he wanted—no, needed—her attentiveness and patience. But amidst the time pressure of getting four kids to school much earlier than usual so she could still get to work on time, she had hushed him and physically walked him out the door.

The woman sighed quietly to herself, regretting how she had handled things. "Bud, why don't I walk in with you?"

Nervous hands tightened around his backpack and worried eyes flicked up. "Okay," he whispered deflatedly, knowing it wasn't really a suggestion.

Grabbing her coffee, Stef went around to help him out. There was nearly an hour left before the first bell and, while she was okay leaving the older three at the parking lot, she was less comfortable doing the same with her eight-year-old. Especially since Callie would, more often than not, walk him to his class. Plus, she wanted to try and talk to him about what she and Lena had learned about his fight with his sister. As expected, their daughter had begged them not to but they didn't want him to think he'd gotten away with lying. Not to mention that it wasn't Callie's decision to make.

The timing was far from ideal and went against her and Lena's commitment to keep home and school delineated. It was hard enough on their kids to have their mother working there, not to mention all the times Stef would drop by to see Lena if their breaks lined up. However, her wife had been the one who encouraged her to broach this conversation with Jude as a way to bond with him, since it was rare for her to ever get one-on-one time with him at home. However, while she agreed with Lena, she was still nervous about the discussion to be had. Jude, who was a bit leery of her, was usually on his best behaviour when she was around. They weren't as close—not in the way he and Lena were. Some effort would be required to help Jude become more comfortable around her, but the last thing she wanted was to upset him before he started his day.

"Maybe we can go see the second breakfast options the cafeteria has to offer."

The boy smiled shyly. "The caf doesn't have second breakfast," he said before catching her drift. "Oh! Okay!" Brightening at the idea, he slipped a clammy palm into her hand and they began to walk towards the building.

On the way there, Stef had cajoled him into coming up with as many breakfast options as he could imagine. His ideas became increasingly creative as he began to warm up to her. The most ridiculous was something called pizza hash—skillet potatoes with mushrooms and little pieces of leftover pizza—which turned out not to be made up, but a Saturday morning creation of Donald's. She smiled fondly as he explained it had to be that day because if they had pizza, it was usually on Fridays, "Like we do in our home."

Clearing her throat, she gave an awkward, choked laugh. "That's right, Jude." The transition had been so much easier for him compared to his sister.

In the lineup, he tugged her shirtsleeve, happily oblivious to some students who were staring because she was in gear. "Can I have bread with jam?"

"You may, but where is your protein?" she cued. He had had a full breakfast earlier that morning, but she was in favour of using the opportunity to teach him about balanced meals.

He scanned the options again. "Milk? And…eggs? Is there money for eggs?"

"You betcha there's money for eggs. Remember, we put money on your account at the beginning of each week," she reminded, nodding towards the lineup. She watched him long enough to ensure he placed his order with the cafeteria staff before leaving to find a quiet place for them to sit.

She and Lena had been actively implementing strategies to help Jude remember to purchase his lunch on days they didn't have one bagged: having the older kids remind him, walking with him, and loading his account. There had been a couple hiccups but on the whole, things were improving on that front.

"Is Callie okay?" Jude asked as soon as he sat down across from her.

Stef watched, impressed and in slight horror as he began to shovel the powdered eggs with gusto into his mouth. In spite of having eaten at home, his appetite appeared intact. He had been noticeably more hungry lately, and she and Lena figured he was working on a growth spurt that he desperately needed.

"Well, she has a bit of a head cold so is probably not feeling her best but she's okay. Mama's taking good care of her," she reassured. As Lena had predicted, Callie woke up in the early morning hours with icy feet and a fever. After a dose of Tylenol, they briefly considered if she might be well enough for school but decided against it when she woke up again, drenched in sweat and with a voice that was shot. The fever had subsided, but after all the recent stress, neither she nor Lena could justify sending her. "Why, do you think she might not be?" she questioned, catching the wary look on his face. "Haven't you or Callie had to stay home sick before?"

Jude thought about her question as he opened the tetrapak and chugged the milk. Callie must have had sick days when they lived with their Mom and Dad, but he had been too young to remember that far back. Once they got into foster care, they had learned quickly that the best thing to do even if they weren't feeling well was to try and go to school anyway. If he was feeling really bad, him and Callie would skip and hide out somewhere for the day. The park or an isolated playground or the woods. Wherever they wouldn't stick out. If they were brave enough and sure no adults were around, they'd go back to the house and Callie would search for medication. Sometimes she would steal it from a store. He had always assumed that she did the same when she was unwell, but without him.

"No, not really," he said after a while.

Stef's heart sagged as she realized exactly what he meant. He and his sister likely would've gotten sick often; children that age got sick like it was their job. Not keeping them home when they needed to be taken care of was beyond her, but she was aware that it happened. Some caregivers were particular about using their sick days on foster children, while at the same time not wanting them home alone for fear things would go missing. So it wasn't unusual for kids to be sent to school anyway. Afraid a teacher would notice and call home, they would often skip. That would be the most plausible explanation for why neither Callie nor Jude were used to being kept home when ill despite the large number of unexcused absences logged on old report cards.

"Okay, but Callie has stayed home with me while you've been at school. And not that long ago, right?" Stef pointed out as he nodded and she wondered if the reminder of her suspension would be enough to quell his anxiety. Of course, the issue wasn't just that Callie was home. It was that she was sick and he wasn't familiar with being looked after by people who wanted them to feel better. "So it isn't really different from those days. You might miss her and that's perfectly okay, but between classes and having fun with your friends, the day will be over before you know it."

"I guess so," Jude conceded, mulling over what his foster mom said. "Mama's really great at taking care of us." He grinned as Stef cocked an eyebrow at him before making a motion suggestive of a stake going through her heart. "You too! You're good at taking care of us, too!" he added quickly.

"Mmhm. Nice save." Picking up the plastic fork now that her son had moved onto the other items on his tray, Stef helped herself to the remaining few bites of egg. "You apologized to your sister, yes?" she asked casually, referring to the one she and Lena had expected of them for the way they had treated each other. She frowned at his noncommittal shrug, hoping it didn't mean it hadn't happened yet.

"Jude?" she prompted. This time, he nodded dutifully.

"How did it go?"

She watched him swallow and instantly regretted not facilitating the process in helping the siblings make amends with each other. She and Lena didn't hover over their children's apologies, trusting them to be independent and sincere. However, perhaps they needed to with Callie and Jude, who were still learning about what a typical sibling relationship was all about.

"It was okay," he said softly.

It couldn't have been further from the truth. As usual, Callie had immediately forgiven him and reassured him that things between them were alright. But once he brought up the ruined cassette, she had cried and stopped talking. Since then, she seemed sad and distant towards him, and he had learned how much he really relied on her.

Deliberating how to have this conversation in a way that didn't intimidate the sensitive boy, Stef finally decided to cut right to the chase. "Jude," she began, taking a deep breath. "May I ask what exactly you apologized for?"

At hearing her question, her son stared at her wide-eyed and scared—telling her that some digging was definitely warranted.

"Uhm. What you and Mama said…" he whispered as he looked down at his lap. Technically, he hadn't disobeyed—he'd done what he'd been asked to. But he was still hooped because to answer Stef's question, he would have to reconcile his actual apology with the specifics of what his foster moms had expected him to say sorry for. And that was going to be hard, because the two apologies did not match and he wasn't ready for Stef to know the whole story.

Jude's heart pounded in his ear as he tried to work out an answer. "For taking the tape player from Callie and…not respecting her decision and stuff." He flicked his gaze up intermittently to meet the woman's as he stammered out his words, sussing out if she suspected anything was off about his answer.

"Was there anything else you apologized for that you think I should know about?" Stef said patiently, anticipating Jude wouldn't be volunteering any more than that.

Having a nagging feeling he was about to get caught for not telling the truth because of the way she was questioning him, Jude's stomach did a flip. Suddenly, second breakfast was no longer appealing. "No…not really," he squeaked out, in case there was a small chance he was wrong.

Stef looked at him sadly as the inflection in his voice gave away the desperate attempt to avoid an adult's anger. A learned behaviour that came from lumping her in with past aggressors.

"Mm, you sure about that, Bud?" she pressed, eying him expectantly. It wasn't so much disappointment she felt as she was perplexed with him; her youngest son was normally very honest and transparent with them. A few moments went by before he glanced warily at her and shook his head. Jude was not in as much trouble as he believed, but obviously didn't know that. It was stopping him from being truthful with her and eventually, she felt she had little choice but to confront him. "No, you're not sure, or no, there wasn't anything else you apologized for? What about for lying to Mama and I about Callie pushing you?"

Despite her efforts to be gentle, Jude paled visibly. "I said sorry for that," he said in a pleading tone, owning up to it now that he'd been busted. He still worried about how she'd react but at least there weren't too many people around which would save him from embarrassment if she yelled. "I did," he insisted, afraid Stef wouldn't believe him. "But Callie's still mad."

"What makes you think she's still upset with you, sweetheart?" the cop asked, softening at his anxiety. She could understand why Callie wouldn't have been happy with him but it had been a couple days now and she had expected this to have blown over by now, given the girl's forgiving nature.

Sniffing back tears, Jude gave another awkward shrug. "I dunno. Things are kinda different." He was uncomfortable talking to his new mom, especially knowing Callie wouldn't want him talking about her behind her back. And he definitely couldn't bring himself to admit to breaking the tape. But it was starting to look as though he didn't have much of a choice. "She said okay but cried a lot, and then didn't want to talk anymore," he eventually offered. "She hates me now."

"Jude…baby… Callie doesn't hate you. Your sister couldn't hate anybody. But sometimes these things take time," she said sympathetically. "Sort of how I think you're probably still upset with her for some of the things she said that hurt your feelings. Even though she's apologized for them, right?" Stef asked, recruiting his agreement in the form of a small nod. "But we apologize to each other because it's the right thing to do; not because we expect forgiveness or want the other person to not be upset with us anymore. It's okay and normal to still be angry at your sister. That was some fight you two had," she empathized at seeing the mixed emotions play across his face.

Jude frowned. Stef was right. When Callie had told him to stay away from their Mom because he had his own now, that had hurt. Because even though he liked Stef and Lena and considered them his new mothers, it was because he didn't have a choice. If Mom was still around, he'd pick her over them in a heartbeat.

"It was the right thing to do to apologize to your sister for lying at her expense, when you were well aware that she would not tell us. I'm proud of you for that," Stef said, providing that positive reinforcement she knew he responded to.

Chewing his lip, Jude met her gaze reluctantly—the action making him look scared and vulnerable. "Am I in trouble?"

"You're not but we do need to talk." She and Lena had agreed on leniency with him because ultimately, his actions stemmed from a lack of trust in them. All they wanted was for him to know that lying wasn't a good idea. Judging by his discomfort, that lesson was being taken seriously.

"But...are you mad?" he asked, unsure by what she meant.

"Well, I wouldn't say mad, but Mama and I aren't too happy about it, either. We're disappointed you continued to lie after we gave you many chances to come clean," Stef replied. "You know it's the expectation in this house to be honest with each other, and you were not honest about what had happened." She sighed, concerned as the boy's shoulders sagged further and he fell silent. "Is there a reason you lied about Callie shoving you?" she questioned. From the beginning, she had suspected the siblings were hiding the truth but had hoped they would confide in them with some persistence.

"Is it because you wanted to get back at her for not wanting to share her cassettes? Because I know how upsetting it must've been to learn she hadn't told you about them, then to find out you wouldn't be able to listen right away," she empathized, remembering how caught off guard he was at Dr. Wiseman's when Callie had brought them up for the first time around him. "But honey, it is not going to be like that forever. Callie has wanted them for so long, and had no idea she would get them back...she just needs a little time with them to herself and then I'm sure she'll let you have a turn. Mama and I will talk to her when that time comes but right now, we need you to be patient about this even if you do not like it," she pled, hoping he would allow them to handle it.

Jude shook his head emphatically as the lump in his throat returned. "She's not going to...because she can't," he said, quickly wiping his eyes. "We're never gonna be able to hear Mom again!"

The statement was made with such bold assurance that Stef knew something was wrong before she could wrap her head around it. "What do you mean?" she asked, afraid of what he was alluding to.

"Because it's broken," Jude whispered. "'Cause of me." The tremor in his voice became more pronounced as he accepted what he'd done. Initially, he had rationalized that if he couldn't listen then Callie didn't deserve to, either. But since then, any vestiges of satisfaction he'd felt had vanished. With the tape wrecked, the option for him to hear his Mom—if there ever was going to be that opportunity—was gone. It wasn't equal, because Callie had gotten to experience it. Losing the tape hadn't taken that away from her but it left him in the same position. Now he regretted his actions with all his heart.

"Oh, no—Jude…Jude, you didn't," she gasped, in disbelief over what she had learned. At that moment, she grieved for both children for having lost their Mom a second time—and for the boy, whose impulsivity had led to permanent repercussions she knew he regretted deeply and would take back if possible.

"I didn't mean to. I was trying to take it out so Callie couldn't have it and it came apart," Jude said, trying to explain himself at hearing the disapproval in his Mom's voice.

"I know you didn't…but cassettes are delicate. You need to be extra careful with them," Stef said, not intending to scold the guilt-ridden boy as he ran the back of his hand across his runny nose. She stopped short of asking what had happened with the broken tape. Callie had made it a point not to tell her or Lena about it so as much as she didn't like it, she wouldn't go digging. No wonder her daughter had been so upset when they'd tried to find out her side of the story.

"Why did you lie?" she tried again, bringing his attention back to her original question. "Why?"

"I don't know," Jude denied. Stef clearly wanted an answer from him but he couldn't tell her. He couldn't tell her about the plan.

"Mmm, try again, Bud. I think you do know." She paused. "Do you trust me?"

Jude sniffled a little before giving her a tentative nod.

"Then you can tell me," Stef coaxed. "Because there must have been a reason, yes?" He was close to spilling, but like Callie, he needed safety to do so.

She watched as the gears turned, considering what she was saying before his eventual reply came in the form of two quiet words. "Mama yelled."

Although confused by his answer, she smiled encouragingly. She and Lena had discussed the fighting with him after separating him and Callie and while they'd been firm about the behaviour being unacceptable, neither had yelled at him. But after the whole misunderstanding with Callie, she didn't want to jump to conclusions and shut him down before letting him talk.

The clarification came soon enough. "Before you got home, I rode my bike after Mama told me not to and she yelled at me."

"She did," Stef replied calmly. "And you and I had a talk about not riding without a helmet when I came home."

Jude nodded before carrying on in his disorganized way. "And Callie said that I shouldn't be giving her too much trouble," he said sadly, lowering his head as a few stray tears dripped down his cheeks. "Otherwise she might not love me as much as she does now."

"Oh…Jude…honey…" Her voice caught as she realized that he, too, had his own fears that had gone unaddressed. It was a funny thing; both him and Callie believed they were undeserving of being wanted and cared for. But while Jude was confident he was already loved, Callie assumed she was empty handed. One was fighting to keep it; the other was fighting to have it.

"What do you think of what Callie said?" she asked curiously, needing him to arrive at his own conclusion. So far, he had only repeated what his sister had said.

Her son withdrew his top lip, the way he usually did when concentrating on his homework. "I think it's good to not bother Mama too much because she's busy...and if she got tired of me, it would make me sad because I like her. I love her and want her to love me back."

"I like having a Mama again," he reiterated softly as his gaze retreated further down.

"Her love is pretty special, isn't it?" Stef said, echoing his sentiment.

He nodded before continuing, his voice changing pitch in the way prepubescent boys' voices typically did. "But maybe...maybe we don't have to think that way with you and Lena."

Stef cleared her throat as she began to well up with emotion at the emerging confidence behind his words. "No. You don't have to think that way with Lena and me. I promise you can trust me on that," she repeated, winking at him.

"Okay," Jude replied, all signs of apprehension gone with her reassurance. He had always felt that Stef and Lena were okay.

He was easy in that he was young enough to not overthink; rather, he was content to simply accept an explanation as long as it sounded convincing. While Stef knew she would worry about him falling prey to poor influences once he hit his teenage years, for now, she appreciated this quality of him.

"Do we have an understanding—you and me?" Stef asked, pointing her index finger between them to emphasize her point. "No more lies, mister. I do not want a repeat of this because next time we will be having a different discussion."

Jude beamed at her, happy to be off the hook. "We have an understanding!"