AN: Chapter 4! And on time. Enjoy! Follow, Favorite, and review!
Chapter Four
Matthew Casey doesn't want to move. He can't move. Not because he can't physically move because he but because he doesn't to move, he really, really doesn't want to move. All he wants to do right now is sit here on his son's bedroom floor and continue to hold his sixteen-year-old son. They have already been sitting here for hours and if he has to do, Matt will continue to sit here for hours. His son, Lukas fell asleep about an hour ago, most likely because he was exhausted from all of the crying he did. Matt doesn't blame him, for falling asleep, for the crying, none of it. The poor kid practically cried himself to sleep. Matt can't help but wonder how many times he has done that in the past three years.
God, three years.
His son has been depressed for three years. For three years and he hasn't told a single soul. He is not sure how his son has managed to keep all of this inside of him. Thank god, Matt found his son's journal when he did because he honestly doesn't know how much longer Lukas could have kept it all inside. If he hadn't had found his son's journal then maybe Lukas would have actually done it. Lukas might have actually killed himself. Matt shakes at that thought. He looks down at his son and still sees he is asleep. He can't help but let out a quiet, shaky breath. The last thing he wants to do is wake his son up. Matt can help but tighten his grip on his son. He doesn't even want to think about his son thinking about killing himself. The thought of it makes him want to cry. But the thing is, he can't just bury this and expect it to go away because it is not going to go away.
His son is suffering from depression. His son is suicidal.
He honestly doesn't know what to do. He honestly never thought he would be in this position. He honestly never thought his son would suffer from depression or be suicidal. He honestly never thought… All of the things he honestly never thought, those are completely gone. He honestly never thought. He honestly never thought. Everything he thought his life, his son's life might be is now out the window. He thought he knew how to handle everything, but turns out he didn't, he doesn't because he honestly has no idea how to handle this. He does know that he is going to need some help. He isn't going to be able to do this on his own. He can't do it on his own.
He is reluctant to leave his son alone, but he needs to make some calls. He is going to need some help. He is going to need some time off. He doesn't exactly know how much time off he needs, as long as it is going to take. He is going to have to do so many things.
He looks down at his son, reluctant to wake him. Matt thinks for a few minutes, a few seconds before he makes his decision. He puts his arm securely around his son's back and puts his other arm under his son's knees before he lifts son up and stands as well. He doesn't waste any time before placing his son onto his bed. He takes his son's shoes off and gently places his head on his pillow. He pulls the blankets back and assists Lukas in climbing under the blankets. Matt makes sure that the blankets are pulled up to Lukas' chin before leaving the bedroom.
Matt stops for a moment. He makes his way to his bedroom. He kneels down near his bed and pulls a bin out from under his bed. He doesn't waste any time opening it and pulling out a baby monitor. He holds the two baby monitors in his hand before closing the bin and shoving it back under his bed before making his way back to Lukas bedroom. He makes sure the monitor is on before leaving it on Lukas' desk. He then makes his way out of the bedroom, closing the door a little more than halfway, before making his way to the kitchen. The other monitor in his hand. He places the monitor on the kitchen counter before grabbing his cell phone and calling one person.
"Matt?" Kelly questions, his voice full of sleep. "Hey, did I leave something in your truck?"
"Kelly," Matt says, his voice breaking.
"Matt?" Kelly questions once again, this time though he is fully awake. "What's wrong?"
"I, uh, need you to, uh, come over," Matt says, the tears freefalling down his face. "I need your help."
"Matt, what is going on?" Kelly questions, waking even more with every word he says."Is it Lukas?"
"Yeah," Matt cries. "It's Lukas."
"I'm on my way," Kelly says, his pace quickening. "Do you need me to stay on the phone with you?"
"I don't know," Matt confesses, wiping his face, wiping away the tears. "I, uh, need you to do me a favor."
"Anything," Kelly says.
"Stop at Bobo's Diner," Matt says.
"Bobo's Diner?" Kelly questions. "But you hate Bobo's Diner."
"I know, but Lukas doesn't," Matt says, a small, sad smile on his face at the mention of his son's favorite diner. "He loves that place. He lives on that stuff. Get him a double bacon cheeseburger, curly fries, and big ol' chocolate shake with whipped cream and extra cherries."
"You got it," Kelly says. "I will get that and be there as soon as I can, okay?"
"Kelly, don't break any laws getting here," Matt says.
"Are you kidding me? Matt, my brother calls me, he breaks down in tears, something he doesn't do often, and then he tells me that I need to get to his place as soon as possible because it has something to with my godson. My mind went and is still going in a different million directions. You beat your ass that I am going to break the law, the speed limit getting to you two. Matt, you and Lukas are my family, and when my family needs my help, I am going to help. I will be there soon, buddy, okay? Just hang on. I know I already asked this, but I am going to ask again, do you need me to stay on the phone with you?"
"I don't know," Matt pauses, letting out a deep, shaky breath. Once again, taking a moment to wipe the tears away from his cheeks. "I think so, yeah, unless you don't want…"
"Hey, I asked didn't I? If we need to stay on the phone until I get there then we are going to stay on the phone until I get there. Do you, uh, want to tell me what is going on with Lukas? Or do you want to wait until I get there?"
"I found his journal," Lukas says. "I didn't even know he kept a journal. I was looking through the journal to see what it was, you know, and I started to read a journal entry and oh God, Kelly, I had no idea. Turns out the journal belongs to Lukas, he writes everything down and I mean everything. Kelly, he has been depressed for the past three years, ever since Hadley's death, and he's suicidal too. He has written about killing himself and wondering what would happen if he killed himself. I went to talk to him about the journal and about what he wrote and I found him sobbing in a corner in his room. He didn't want to cry in front of me, he said Casey men don't cry. God, that broke my heart. I told him it was okay to cry. We just sat for hours as he cried, he fell asleep about an hour ago. I thought I would take the time to call you because I know I can't do this alone. I don't know how to do this. I am going to need all the help I can get."
"You got my help, Matt," Kelly says, his voice quiet as everything is processing. "I am there for as long as you and Lukas need me. I promise you, Matt, together the two of us will do everything in our power to help Lukas. I promise."