South Park: The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints

by WildCard0531

Samuel Cooper is a young lad from Houston, TX. He also has a superhero alter ego known as Sir Justice. Watch as Sam goes through life fighting for his friends, the town, and later, the world. The reason I made this fanfic was because I was in the mood to make an anime esque adventure fanfic with South Park characters. Favorite if you wish. Enjoy! First entry in SPS Universe

13. Teacher's Pet (Part 1)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 12: Teacher's Pet (Part 1)

(The evening of May 1st has occurred! Time for the Teacher's Ball at the Colorado Convention Center in Denver. We see a whole bunch of teachers and principals from all of the schools all over the state of Colorado united in one room. There is a huge banner in the front of the building that reads, "WELCOME ALL TEACHERS AND PRINCIPALS!" Inside the building, there are green and blue balloons and lights, a big buffet table, a wooden dance floor, and many colorful lights. The main room is crowed. Eventually a man that's wearing a white suit, most likely the one responsible for the whole event, grabs a microphone and says….)

Man: Welcome one and all to the 50th Annual Colorado Teacher's Ball!

(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (8 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, and Charon). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(We kick this episode off with Doug Testaburger, Jeffrey Stevens, and Alex Slave entering the main party area of the convention center with their spouses, Deborah Testaburger, Helen Stevens, and Big Gay Al)

(Doug is wearing a white tuxedo with a red bow tie and black loafers)

(Deborah is wearing a blue dress with blue heels)

(Jeffrey is wearing a grey tuxedo with a blue bow tie and black loafers)

(Helen is wearing a pink dress with white heels)

(Both Alex Slave and Big Gay Al are wearing black tuxedoes with a black bow ties and black loafers)

(The six adults find a table and sit there, with the guys obviously letting the girls, and Big Gay Al, sit first by pulling the chair out for them. They take a good look around)

Jeffrey: Wow, what a turn out.

Alex Slave: Yeah, there has to be more people here this year than last year.

Deborah : (Appears to be worried)

Doug: Honey, what's wrong?

Deborah : I'm just worried about Wendy. I mean, not that I don't trust her, but it's not every day we give Wendy the house to herself.

Jeffrey: I know how you feel, Deborah . I worry about Bebe whenever we give leave her home alone. I've seen those teenage movies. They invite their friends and some boys over for a party and then disaster strikes.

Helen: Oh, Jeffrey, you're overreacting. I trust Bebe completely. And if they invite their boyfriends over, more power to them.

Alex Slave: Yeah, I trust Sam and Cody completely. They're good boys.

Deborah : I know. I'm just worried. You know, mother's instinct.

Big Gay Al: Jeff, Deborah , you two need to relax. Didn't you give Wendy and Bebe your cell phone number.

Jeffrey: Of course.

Big Gay Al: Then they know what to do if they find themselves in trouble.

Jeffrey: I guess you're right. (Stretches his muscles) I should try and enjoy myself tonight. It'll be hard, but I'll try.

(Suddenly, Jeffrey sees the cooks bringing out big baskets of shrimp and place them on the buffet table)

Jeffrey: J-J-Jumbo Shrimp! I'm off the wagon! (Storms the buffet table)

Helen: (Chases after him) Jeff! Jeffrey! Calm down!

Alex Slave: (Turns to Big Gay Al) Want to dance, sweetie?

Big Gay Al: You bet your sweet ass I do!

(The homosexual couple leave the table and hit the dance floor leaving Deborah and Doug alone)

Deborah : I'm going to go to the bathroom real quick.

Doug: Okay, babe.

(Deborah leaves and Doug is alone. He picks up his water glass and mixes it around, watching the ice float in his glass. It's at this moment a woman in her late 50s early 60s approaches him…it's the same lady from the end of last episode, Ms. Penelope Marlowe!)

(Marlowe has brown eyes and short blonde hair (most likely dyed). She's also wearing a silver dress with silver heels and she's carrying a silver parasol that's currently closed)

Marlowe: Well hello there Douglas. It's a surprise to see you here.

(Doug turns around to see Ms. Marlowe)

Doug: Well I'll be. Ms. Penelope Marlowe as I live and breathe!

Marlowe: It's been too long, Douglas.

Doug: Yeah, Fort Collins High School Class of 1997. (Shakes her hand)

Marlowe: So what have you been up to?

Doug: Nothing too big. I just became a gym teacher at South Park High School sometime in the mid-2000s, got married and had a daughter, and became a member of the South Park Saints.

Marlowe: I've heard about the South Park Saints. From what I've heard you've all put a lot of crooks away. So you're a member?

Doug: Yes. I'm Cerulean Viper. Don't believe me, take a look. (He takes out a wallet sized headshot photo of himself as the Cerulean Viper)

Marlowe: Wow, very nice. You say you've been up to nothing big, but I'd like to say otherwise. You were always such a good student, Douglas. Always keeping to yourself, never bothering anybody. I'd say you deserve a life like this.

Doug: Thank you, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Please, call me Penelope. Listen, I know this is sudden, but I'll be in the area for a few days. Is it okay with you if I come over to your house for dinner tomorrow night?

Doug: You want to come over for dinner?

Deborah : (Comes back) I'm back. (Sees Marlowe) Oh hello. Who are you?

Marlowe: I am Ms. Penelope Marlowe. I was Douglas' old literature teacher back in the day.

Deborah : Please to meet you. My name is Deborah Testaburger.

Marlowe: Oh, this must be your wife. I was just asking your husband if I could come over for dinner tomorrow, you know to catch up with him and get to know you and your daughter.

Deborah : That sounds like a lovely idea. I'm making spaghetti and meatballs tomorrow.

Marlowe: Sounds delicious. What time should I be there?

Doug: How does 6:00 P.M sound?

Marlowe: Sounds good. I'll see you two then. (She leaves, but as she's walking, she's saying this to herself…) Perfect. If Douglas is a member of these Saints that have been giving Master Satan trouble, maybe I can use him to my advantage. (Laughs evily)

(We cut to the next night at the Testaburger Residence. Deborah and Wendy are cooking the food, while Doug is cleaning the entire house. Even rooms that Ms. Marlowe probably won't be going in he cleans up. Doug enters the kitchen sweating and wearing an apron, yellow gloves, and a red bandana on his head)

Doug: (Panting) How's dinner coming.

Deborah : It's coming honey. Uh, have you been cleaning the entire house?

Doug: Yes I have. Living room, dining room, bathroom, all of the rooms are dusted and deep cleaned (Yawn).

Wendy: Dad, you look tired.

Doug: Yeah. I woke up super early and mowed the lawn. I took the day off of school today so I could prepare.

Deborah : But you're going to be too tired for when Ms. Marlowe comes. Why don't you lie down on the couch and rest for a while. Wendy and I will take care of everything else.

Wendy: Yeah, go on and rest. You seem tense.

Doug: I'm sorry, it's just that Ms. Marlowe was one of my favorite teachers in high school and I want to impress her and show her that we live in a nice clean and happy home.

Deborah : Well I think you've done enough. Just please get some rest before she comes, and we'll finish dinner up.

Doug: Okay.

(He goes over to the couch, lets out a relaxed sigh, and closes his eyes. Just when he hears a knock on the door, he jolts off of the couch and runs to the door)

Doug: Hello, Ms. Marlowe, welcome to our happy home.

Sam: (Carrying a tray) Who's Ms. Marlowe? It's me, Sam.

Doug: Oh, hey Sam. What's up?

Sam: Wendy told me you were expecting company, so I figured I'd cook some cheesy garlic bread. I cooked it from a recipe I got online. May I come in?

Doug: Sure. (He lets Sam into the house) You can just place it on the table.

Sam: Okay. (He goes over to the dining room table where Deborah is placing plates full of food and Wendy is placing silverware and napkins) But seriously, who is this Ms. Marlowe?

Doug: She's just an old teacher from my days at Fort Collins High. I'm surprised that she still teaches. She was about 32 years old when I went there so she must be about 60 now.

Sam: She must be a pretty good teacher if they haven't told her to retire.

Doug: And that's why I took the day off of work today: So that I could make sure the house is in top condition for her visit. (A knock on the door is heard) Oh boy that's her now! (Turns to Sam) Sam, you can stay over for dinner if you want and meet Ms. Marlowe.

Sam: Awesome sauce!

(Doug begins to hyperventilate)

Deborah : Sweetie, calm down. Just keep calm and kindly greet her at the door.

Doug: Oh boy, I hope my embarrassing quirk doesn't kick in.

Sam: What's that?

Doug: Whenever I get nervous, I can't control the volume of my own voice. (Takes a deep breath) Okay, here we go.

(Doug opens the door and finds Ms. Marlowe there)

Marlowe: Ah, hello, Douglas. How are you this evening.

Doug: (Loudly) FINE! (Shrill and quiet) Please come in…

(Marlowe enters the house, places her heels and parasol near the door, and walks over to the table as Doug takes off his apron, yellow gloves, and bandana)

Doug: (Hurries over to Marlowe's chair and pulls it out for her) Here you go, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Thank you, Douglas.

(Doug then pulls the chairs out for his wife, daughter, and Sam. The former two accept it graciously, but Sam…)

Sam: Thanks, Mr. Testaburger, but I'm fine. I can sit in my own chair.

Doug: (Breaks out in a nervous sweat as he sits in his own chair) Right. Sorry, my mistake.

Marlowe: So, Douglas. Who is this boy you have here? I didn't know you had a son too.

Sam: Oh no, ma'am, I'm not his son. Granted, I do view Mr. Testaburger as a well respected father figure, we're not blood related. Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. The name is Samuel Cooper. The leader of the South Park Saints, and the ever so handsome boyfriend of the lovely Wendy Testaburger.

Wendy: (Blushes) Aww, Sammy.

Doug: They just got together recently.

Marlowe: Well congratulations to the both of you.

Sam: Thanks.

Marlowe: So you're a member of the South Park Saints too, eh?

Sam: That's right. I'm the commander in chief of the team, Sir Justice!

Wendy: And I'm the Fuchsia Tigress. Sam, my father, and I are just a very small portion of the members of the team.

Marlowe: There's more, eh?

Sam: Oh yeah. My old friends from Houston, her girl friends, and so much more.

Marlowe: Interesting. But I want to focus on you three. Tell me, Samuel, what's your roll for the team.

Sam: Well, I'm the leader. I'm a good gunslinger, blade wielder, speedster, brawler, just a jack of all trades kind of character.

Marlowe: I see. How about you, Wendy?

Wendy: I'm a brawler and the pyrokinetic of the team.

Marlowe: Interesting. What about you, Douglas?

Doug: I too am a brawler, and the main cryokinetic of our team.

Marlowe: Cryokinesis, eh? What exactly can you do with your cryokinetic abilities?

Doug: You know, throw out some cold punches, launch blasts of cold air, the usual stuff.

Marlowe: This is all interesting.

Wendy: Want to learn more about mine and Sam's skills?

Marlowe: No, I think I'm fine. (In her mind) While someone like these Samuel and Wendy folks would be fine, I think I could seriously benefit from Douglas' ice abilities. I just need to get Douglas alone somehow. (Out loud) You know what, this is going so well, Douglas, I think we should set up another rendezvous tomorrow before I head back to my summer home in Grand Isle.

Deborah : Grand Isle? Where's that?

Marlowe: It's a decently sized island in the Gulf of Mexico off the coast of New Orleans.

Wendy: You're going to your summer home down south? If you're a teacher, there's another month of school left. Shouldn't you finish up here before heading back down there?

Marlowe: The principal of Fort Collins High thought it would be a good idea to have my summer vacation start early. You know, I'm getting so old, and these brittle bones can only take so much writing on a blackboard.

Wendy: Well that's understandable.

Marlowe: Anyway, Douglas, how about you and I meet up at the local coffee shop and we can continue having a little chat.

Doug: Sounds good. My birthday is also tomorrow if you want to come over for that too.

Marlowe: You don't mind?

Doug: Of course not. You're one of the best teachers I've ever had. Besides, it'll give you a chance to meet the rest of the team.

Marlowe: How lovely!

(Doug, Ms. Marlowe, and Deborah continue to eat, but Sam and Wendy are unsure about all of this)

Sam: Hey, Wen-Wen. Do you think there's something odd about all of this?

Wendy: What do you mean?

Sam: She seems mainly interested in your father. She's more interested in his abilities, more interested in hanging out with him. I just find the whole thing…odd.

Wendy: Don't forget that my father was a student of Ms. Marlowe's. She probably just wants to catch up with him, and she probably wants to see him alone so she doesn't have you, me, and mom as a distraction.

Sam: I just don't know. Something doesn't feel quite right.

(We cut to the next morning at Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse where Doug and Ms. Marlowe are sipping on coffee and nibbling on some muffins)

Marlowe: So you really went toe to toe with Paris Hilton?

Doug: That's right. She wanted to kill us on her t.v show "Death T.V," after Sam, Wendy, and their friends ruined her plot to start her own empire of promiscuity. That's not all, I also fought against some priest named Charon, the kid that tried to harm Wendy's friends, Justin, and then there was the time I battled it out with the son of the devil himself, Damien.

Marlowe: (Amazed) You fought against the son of the devil himself!

Doug: Yeah.

Marlowe: Fascinating! (To herself) So Douglas played a part in Damien's imprisonment, and the defeat of Charon, the advocate that fell before me. I must have him on my side. I just need to wait for the right moment.

Doug: I'm going to go send a text to my wife and let her know that we're on her way back home for the party. You don't want anything else, Ms. Marlowe?

Marlowe: No thank you, Douglas, I'm fine.

Doug: Okay. (He leaves to text his wife)

Marlowe: Excellent. (She reaches for her silver colored purse and takes out a black pill) My mood manipulation pill. Being allied with Satan give me perks like access to unnatural ingredients that I can use for my own ends. The ingredients in this pill should fog Douglas' mind with rage and insanity, and then he'll be under my control.

(She drops the pill in Douglas coffee and mixes it around so it can dissolve. It's at this moment when Doug comes back)

Doug: Almost ready, Ms. Marlowe.

Marlowe: Yes, Douglas. But, would you like to finish your coffee.

Doug: True, I did pay an arm and a leg for this. (He grabs his coffee and drinks it down) Well, that was delicious. So, shall we be off? (Suddenly, he feels a bit woozy) Oh.

Marlowe: Is something the matter, Douglas?

Doug: I don't know. I just feel all light headed all of the sudden. What's happening?

Marlowe: (Rubs Doug's back as he covers his face) Just relax, Douglas. Don't fight it. Let my pill work its course. I am your master now and you will help me achieve my goals, won't you?

Doug: (Remove's his hands from his face to reveal lifeless eyes) Yes, my master.

(We then cut back to the Testaburger Residence where all of the South Park Saints, plus Deborah , Helen, Kelly Rutherford, and Big Gay Al, are gathered in the backyard, ready to barbecue)

Kurt: (While cooking some shrimp kabobs on the grill) Nothing like some shrimps on the Barbie to make your stomach growl! (He grabs some hot dogs from the grill and places them on the plate) Who wants some dogs! Form a line!

(Some of the party goers form a line, Red and Ursula are in the middle of the line making out)

Craig: Hey, what's the hold up?

Cartman: Yeah, let's keep the line moving, lovebirds.

(Red and Ursula, still making out, walk out of line)

Tweek: There's something about lesbian relationships that are so cute and adorable.

Kenny: Probably because girl on girl is hot.

Bridgette: I think it's because two people of the same sex aren't afraid to express their love. I know as a Christian I'm supposed to be against this, but I believe that God, our father, would want us, his children, to be happy. That's all any father could want: For their child to be happy. And I'd say Red and Ursula are happy to be together.

Tweek: Deep. Very deep.

(We cut to Heidi who is looking at Cody and Bebe, who are just holding each other and staring into each others' eyes. She then finds Sam and Wendy just holding each other in a nearby hammock)

Heidi: (Sigh) I need love too. (She finds Butters just sitting by himself and singing)

Butters: Lu, lu, lu! I've got some apples! Lu, lu, lu! You've got some too!

(As Butters sings on Heidi sits next to him. She slowly reaches an arm around Butters)

Butters: (Notices what's happening) Lu, lu, l-uh, what are you doing, Heidi?

Heidi: (Has her arm return to her person) Huh? What are you talking about? You're crazy. I wasn't doing anything. You must be seeing things.

(Meanwhile, the brainwashed Doug returns home and hears the party going on outside. He just ignores it and walks up to his room, grabs his blue gi and gloves, and leaves the house again. He steps into Marlowe's car, and the duo drive off)

(Back at the party, Kelly is glaring at Wendy and Sam with envy. Maria and Annie are with her)

Kelly: I can't believe this! Sammy is actually with that…that…wretch!

Annie: Come on, Kelly, Wendy isn't that bad of a person.

Kelly: Easy for you to say. You've been friends with her longer than I have!

Maria: I think the only reason you're mad at Wendy is because she's dating Sam.

Kelly: Well thanks for pointing that out, Little Miss Obvious.

(As all of this is going on, Apollo is looking in on the party from over the fence behind Wendy's house)

Apollo: (Sigh) Guess it's time I bite the bullet. (He clears his throat) Excuse me.

(Maria looks over at Apollo)

Maria: Apollo, come on over!

(Apollo hops over the fence, but falls flat on his face, causing Cartman to chuckle. Kyle elbows him as a result)

Maria: (Helps Apollo up) What brings you by? Wait! Are you missing me? Do you want to hang out with me?

Apollo: Look, I know I said you're dead to me if you join these guys, but Mr. Brewster says that I should start hanging out with people like you if I want to be accepted. I see the amount of fun you're having and I wanted to know if I could hang out with you all.

Maria: Are you serious?!

Apollo: Yes. But just to be clear, I'm not happy about it, and I still think happiness is weakness. I'm only doing this so that the bullying and jeering from my peers will stop.

Maria: I don't care as long as you're getting out of your shell. You'll see, this is more fun than…what you have been doing.

Annie: Why don't you help us out with something. You can either help me and Kurt get Doug's birthday cake for him, or you can help Sam, Craig, and Tweek set up that stereo system over there.

Apollo: I think I'll take the latter option. Sam is the leader of your group after all. I think it would be fair to chat with him.

(Apollo goes over to see Sam, Craig, and Tweek as they set up a stereo system)

Apollo: Hello, everyone.

Sam: Oh hey! You're Maria's brother, Apollo, right?

Apollo: You're correct.

Sam: Well I'm Sam, and these two here are Craig and Tweek.

Apollo: I know who you three are. And I know who just about everyone at this party is. After all, you guys are the South Park Saints.

Craig: Damn straight. So, what are you doing here?

Apollo: My therapist said that it would be best if I hang around you guys, seeing that I have nobody to hang around with. I'm only doing this so the teasing from our peers will cease. I'm not doing this because I want to. Anyway, need any help?

Sam: Just with hooking up some wires. Can you hook that blue one up with that red one?

(Apollo does so)

Apollo: So, why are you doing this?

Sam: I just want to sing some father-son based songs to Doug when he gets here.

Apollo: But, he's not your biological father.

Sam: True, but I look up to him like a father. That's close enough for me.

Apollo: Whatever. (Looks around) So where is Mr. Testaburger anyway?

Deborah : (Overhears him) I don't know. He texted me about an hour ago, but no one has seen him or Ms. Marlowe.

Apollo: (Scoffs) I wouldn't be surprised if Mr. Testaburger ran off with this Ms. Marlowe you speak of, and left you high and dry.

Deborah : My Dougie would never do that. He's a very faithful husband and a great father.

Maria: Don't mind him, Mrs. Testaburger, it's just his…dark sense of humor.

Apollo: Do I look like I'm joking? I'm just saying that people these days can't be trusted.

(Suddenly, they hear the phone ring from inside the house)

Wendy: I'll get it. (Wendy runs into the house and answers the phone) Hello?

Marlowe: (On the other end) Oh, Wendy, is that you? It's me, Ms. Marlowe, your father's old teacher.

Wendy: Ms. Marlowe? Thank God! (She goes back to the backyard where everyone turns their attention towards her) Are you and my dad okay? You guys should be back by now. We're all waiting for you.

Marlowe: Oh we're both fine…but your father decided that he likes being around me more than you lot.

Wendy: What do you mean?

Marlowe: Your father is returning to Grand Isle with me. He works for me, and you'll never see him again.

Wendy: Excuse me?!

Deborah : Who is that, Wendy?

Wendy: (Talks into the phone) Hang on, Ms. Marlowe, I'm putting you on speaker phone so that we all can hear what you just said. (She puts Ms. Marlowe on speaker)

Deborah : Ms. Marlowe, is my Doug okay?

Marlowe: Just peachy. More peachy than when he was with you. So he's returning to Grand Isle with me.

(Everybody gasps)

Apollo: Tch! I told you he'd cheat.

Bebe: Butt out, Apollo!

Marlowe: That's right. Douglas is in my possession now.

Wendy: You can't have him! He's my father! Now come back here with him and we'll forget that this whole thing happened.

Marlowe: I don't think so. After all, I'm a teacher, thus making me a superior figure. I don't have to do anything you tell me to. Not only that, but you could ask for your father back a little bit nicer, don't you think?

Sam: Listen to me, you old bat! You'd better give my girlfriend her dad back right now or else I'll jump through that phone and rip that smart mouth off of that wrinkly face!

Marlowe: Goodness. You don't sound any better Samuel.

Jeffrey: (Steps up) Let me try something. (He grabs the phone from Wendy and clears his throat) We don't know who you are. We don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, we don't have a lot of money. But what we do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills that we've acquired over the course of eight years. Skills that make people like us a nightmare for people like you. If you let Doug go now, that'll be the end of it. We won't look for you, we won't pursue you. But if you don't, then we will look for you, we will find you, and we will kill you.

(Silence)

Marlowe: Imitating Liam Neeson won't bring Douglas back to you.

Jeffrey: (Gives the phone back to Wendy) Well I tried.

Bebe: I'll give you credit where credit was due, daddy, that was a great performance.

Jeffrey: You think so?

(Bebe, Helen, Cody, Mephesto, and Sophocles nod their heads)

Marlowe: (Sigh) You know what. If you lot really are that hell bent on getting Douglas back, then I dare you all to come to my home on Grand Isle. It's just an island that lay in the Gulf of Mexico.

Kyle: How are we supposed to get there?

Marlowe: There's a cargo plane at the South Park Airfield that's supposed to fly supplies to Grand Isle. It takes off in about two hours. You can ride that to the island. Though I should warn you, while I expect you to appear at my humble abode, my henchmen aren't expecting you. They are going to shoot you on sight. I don't care if I or my henchmen kill you off, as long as you Saints aren't a thorn in our side anymore.

Kevin: What do you mean "our side"?

Marlowe: Well, you're all going to find out eventually, but I am the fifth advocate: Penelope Marlowe.

Cody: (Clenches his fist) Advocate!

Token: Well, that figures.

Marlowe: So, if you all care about Douglas at all, you'll sneak onto that cargo plane, fly over to my home, and do battle with me and my henchmen (Laughs evilly).

(We cut to where Marlowe is making the call: Her private jet)

Marlowe: I look forward to your visit, Saints! Please, don't keep me waiting. (Hangs up and turns to Doug) Well Douglas, your friends and family are gearing up and ready to come to Grand Isle as we speak. How does that feel?

Doug: (Remains silent with dead expressionless eyes. The pill has taken full effect)

(Back at the party, everyone is still in shock)

Clyde: So, Mr. Testaburger has been kidnapped?

Millie: That's what it sounds like.

Wendy: God damn it! (Pounds on a nearby table) Ms. Marlowe is not going to get away with this!

Kenny: Well what are we going to do?

Sam: Weren't you listening to Ms. Marlowe on the phone? She said that there's a cargo plane down by the airfield that's ready to go straight towards Ms. Marlowe's location. What we're going to do is find a way to sneak onto that plane, and pay that old bag of an advocate a visit! We're going to go that island, sneak past her henchmen, and get Doug back here before day's end! Who's with me!

(Everyone cheers)

Sam: Alright, everybody gear up and meet me and Wendy at the gas station near the airfield.

Leon: You got it boss!

Maria: Apollo, are you coming with us?

Apollo: (Grunts) I guess.

Maria: (Grabs his hand and they hurry back to their appartment) Perfect! Come on, let's go!

(Everybody leaves, and the only ones remaining are Deborah , Helen, Big Gay Al, and Kelly)

Helen: So…what do you want to do now?

Big Gay Al: Want me to make you some mojitos and we can watch the Sex and the City movies?

Helen: Count me in.

Deborah : It'll take my mind off of things.

(The three prepare to go inside, but Kelly just stands there)

Big Gay Al: (Turns back to face Kelly) Sweetie, do you want to come in and maybe we can make you some food?

Kelly: No thank you! I have a feeling that Sammy is going to be in grave danger! I need to help him somehow! I'm going to that airfield and going with him! (Runs off and hops over the fence)

Big Gay Al: Kelly, wait!

(She doesn't hear him)

Big Gay Al: (Shrugs his shoulder) Eh. I'm sure that Sam, Alex, and those other silly geese will look after her. It's Mojito Time! (Goes back in the house)

(See you all in Part 2 of this 3-part episode, kiddies!)