Author Note:

Two years, everyone! Thanks to all of you who have stuck with the story. It's turned out to be such a labour of love, between all the suggestions and friendships with readers and other writers alike.

As always, thank you to theypreferthetermpeople for polishing things up. Happy reading! ~b

(My apologies for being terrible at responding to PMs lately; I'm still here and appreciate each and every one of your messages and reviews.)

Chapter 49: New Ways of Doing Things

With two supportive Moms and the excitement of their soon-to-be legal siblings, the initial sting of disappointment over the delayed adoption eventually faded. But soon, Callie found a new and unexpected sadness beginning to cloud over. Even though she looked forward to officially having a family to finally call her own and a safe place to go home to at the end of each day, it was the recognition that adoption meant that some things would actually get taken away that caught her off guard.

Like the last visit from Bill. She hadn't known it'd be the last one when he took them on an outing to the beach park where they ate tornado potatoes and nacho rounds that came with a pot of melted cheese. It was an activity they'd talked about doing before but had never gotten to. When he explained that that was it for home visits and that the next time they saw each other would be at the hearing, that was hard. Obviously, they wouldn't need a Case Manager anymore...but it hadn't occurred to her before. And she hadn't expected to be overwhelmed with a feeling of loss. Bill had been in their lives the entire time they'd been in foster care and now he wouldn't. She hadn't always liked his decisions but he cared a whole lot more than others she'd heard stories of.

Whenever ideas she had held onto for as long as she could remember were taken away, it was always another reminder that her world was fragile. What others might see as random, unimportant details had become pillars that brought some certainty over the years in foster care—helping her through difficult days, giving her something to look forward to. Having them erased and reconfigured brought a new type of instability that she didn't like.

Those days were hard.

"Is Mama in this one?" Jude flicked the photo he'd been looking at towards his sister. It was just the two of them and Stef and Lena today. Everyone else was out, and he was enjoying how quiet and not crazy the house was. They had the family room to themselves; he and Callie had been playing Monopoly before getting bored and deciding to crack open some of the smaller photo albums.

"Hold up," Callie said. Jude had missed by a long shot. Using her arms, she propelled herself across the rug on her belly. She was balancing a green cushion on the small on her back, finding the light pressure comforting. After Lena came by and commented that she looked like a sea turtle, she liked it even more.

Reaching up onto the coffee table on the way, she fumbled for an Oreo. The purchase had been a rare allowance on Lena's part from their outing to the store that morning. Both she and Jude had gone with her and they'd spent the entire time begging her for foods they knew she would find obnoxious, like canned spaghetti and cheese cracker sandwiches. Fingers closing around the hard earned prize, she parked herself on her elbows in front of the photo, getting straight to work twisting the top off and licking the icing.

"Oh, wow! They look super young," Callie breathed. It was an old shot of their Mom and Dad with their friends, long before she and Jude existed. They were all piled onto the back bumper of a blue Firebird, each with a beer in hand and a smoke between their fingers. "That car belonged to Mom's best friend's boyfriend. They all lived together. She always said that it got totalled like a month after they took this photo," she explained. Their parents had been high school sweethearts and had moved in together with three of their friends once they could make their share of the rent. Dad, who had already graduated by then, had moved in first. Mom still had another year or so to go when things got to be too much at home and she joined them. Shortly after, she dropped out.

Growing up, Callie had heard her fair share of stories of life in that house. There'd been five of them renting the bungalow: each couple took a room, and their single friend had the pull out bed in the living room. Together, they managed the suite together, leaning on each other through burnt dinners, ruined laundry, and unsteady work that often left them scrambling for food and rent. Mom and Dad only moved out a few months before she was born. She vaguely recalled these people coming by to hang out with her, too, while Mom did her GED. Part of the reason why she remembered talking with her Mom about this specific photo was because it always came with reminders about the importance of not smoking, drinking, or dropping out. Their conversation always ended with that GED. Her Mom would tell her that she regretted not finishing high school while she had fewer responsibilities it was hard to go back to do something she should've done in the first place. Mom would make her promise to graduate—saying that she didn't care if Callie was already moved out, but that diploma needed to happen.

She popped the two cookie halves, now clean to her liking, into her mouth. "Look how big Mama's hair was," she said in between chews. With teased bangs, bangles on her wrist, and round sunglasses, their Mom looked cool.

"Mama was pretty," Jude remarked. It was weird that he only knew her through photos and stories from Callie. He was only three when she'd died, so he didn't have memories of her at all.

"Yeah she was, Bud." Callie had looked up to her and still did. Old photos were her favourites, especially those from before she and Jude were born. Not only did she get to see what her parents were like then, but it gave her a chance to imagine what her life could look like in just a few years. She could move out with friends and have the same experiences as they had, making her own way through life.

Needing more Oreos, she turned over, letting the cushion flop off. "I can't wait until I can do that."

"Can't wait to do what, my love?" Stef asked as she and Lena came in with healthier snacks. "Aw, I guess the sea turtle went back to the ocean." She'd missed the opportunity to see their daughter goofing off like a normal kid. Her disappointment didn't last long as she saw the photo album amidst the Monopoly pieces strewn over the rug. Callie and Jude finding joy in the photos of their birth family always warmed her heart. It'd been tumultuous at first, but she appreciated getting a glimpse into what their children's lives with Colleen and Donald had been like before being catapulted into the chaos of foster care.

"Huh?" Callie replied automatically before processing the question. "Oh, move out."

"Move out?" Stef repeated, unable to hide her surprise. They'd barely gotten the kids! In fact, they were knee deep in preparations and Callie and Jude seemed so excited. She had no idea Callie wanted to move out.

The girl pointed at the photo. "Yeah. Mom moved out when she was sixteen to live with Dad and a bunch of their friends, and when I'm sixteen, Bill said I could try for Independent Living," she said absentmindedly.

"Oh…sweetheart…" Lena said, knowing they would have to be careful with their response. There were a couple issues at play. One was that Callie hadn't grasped she wouldn't be eligible for the program once adopted. Like the time Jude had assumed they'd go live with their Dad after the completion of his sentence, when it hadn't clicked for him that adoption would preclude that choice. Arguably, however, the bigger issue was that Callie's plan was tied to wanting to follow in her Mom's footsteps. Lena wasn't going to touch that right now, not if it could be avoided. Setting the plate on the ottoman, she sat on the floor beside her daughter, her back against the couch. Stef followed suit and took the armchair over by Jude. "When did you and Bill talk about Independent Living?" She hoped to lead Callie to her own conclusion rather than dropping it onto her. She tucked a flyaway behind her daughter's ear as Callie helped herself to a cucumber and hummus. .

"Mm…I dunno. Maybe like a year ago?" Callie replied honestly. That'd been the plan if DSS couldn't get her placed. She had her mind set after the topic had come up and imagined moving out with a bunch of girls at a group home if that was where she ended up, or meeting people at school if she could be at a placement long enough to make those connections. She'd find a job, save up. Once she had enough to handle her own place, she'd get custody of Jude so he'd have a stable home throughout high school. It'd be hard, but nothing she couldn't handle. They'd be happy.

"Okay. A year ago," Lena repeated.

It was Jude who finally asked the question that would bring the two aspects of his and Callie's lives—before adoption and after—into collision. "Can you still do Independent Living if you get adopted?"

"Oh. Guess not," Callie said, frowning. She hadn't thought about that and was stunned by her own disappointment. "I could still move out though."

Lena shared a sensitive look with Stef as that hope was dashed and their daughter attempted not to let it get to her. Neither of them had missed the momentary hurt. "It's something we'll have to talk about," she offered, wanting to set that boundary early on. She had never fathomed any of their children leaving home before it was time for college. Technically, as parents, they could always cosign a lease for them; however neither she nor Stef would ever allow that so it was a moot point.

Callie's expression darkened. She was sure the answer was no, then. In this house, we'll see or we'll talk always meant no. If it was a yes, they said so right away. "Mama moved out at sixteen," she repeated.

There'd been a lot of this lately, them not letting her do things she'd done with her Mom. Like when Lena wouldn't let her watch Darkwater because she was uncomfortable with the rating, even though she'd already seen parts of the Japanese version with her Mom. Or when she couldn't have the snacks she missed from home. At first it'd been annoying; now, even little things felt like slights.

Despite her wife's effort at being noncommittal, judging by their daughter's body language, Lena had hit a nerve. "Well, things were probably a bit different then for your Mom, love," Stef said, trying to diffuse the escalation she was expecting would take place.

"How were they different?"

"Okay, for starters, Mom and I would like to see you finish twelfth grade and be able to vote before you move out," Lena explained. She had not planned on having this discussion now, but here they were.

"Mama moved first, then got her GED," Callie said. She'd already promised Mom she'd graduate so this wasn't an issue.

"That's wonderful she decided to go for her GED. It's not easy," Stef acknowledged. "There's no one right way...but Callie, that's not what Mama and I want for you."

Callie looked at her foster mom, unable to help but feel offended; obviously they didn't approve of her Mom. "But what about what I want? Or what my Mom wanted for me? And what does graduating or voting even have to do with this?" she pushed, genuinely confused by their conditions. She'd wanted this even before the whole Independent Living thing, but more so after her experiences in the system.

Feeling the tantrum as well as a headache brewing, Stef let out an inward sigh. Their quiet morning was heading into derailment. Callie was an extremely perceptive child who, having picked up on their reservations, would not let them get out of this one easily.

She and Lena were not opposed to their kids moving out by any means, but they did want to ensure that when they did take that step, they were ready, rather than having to return because they'd left too early. At one point she'd even entertained the idea of converting their garage into a loft to support their kids as an in-between before the real deal. She leaned over, wrapping both arms around her son and kissing him on the head. Jude was equally perceptive and, increasingly uncomfortable with the tension between them, had scooched back on the floor until he was sitting between her legs. "It's a lot of responsibility and work to live on your own, love. You'd have to learn to budget and pay bills, cook and clean. Do laundry. To have to do all that, when you could just be focusing on school and looking at colleges could get to be a lot, don't you think?" she reasoned, hoping to get agreement. She had done that too, too young, and it'd been no walk in the park.

Anger flashed across her thirteen-year-old's face. She should've known it wasn't going to be that easy.

"So you're not letting me?"

Lena winced at the challenge, uttered a little too quietly. Callie was barely keeping it together.

"Because...you don't trust me?" Callie said with disgust in her voice. Stef had given her a list of reasons why she thought she couldn't do it. She smacked her hand on the coffee table as she stood. "That's what it is, isn't it? You don't think I can do it."

"It's not about trust, or capability, baby girl. It really isn't," Stef began, though truthfully there was a bit of that. Her daughter, who couldn't shower on her own, was not in any way prepared to live on her own. One day, yes, she would be, hopefully when she was eighteen. Stef couldn't see it happening any sooner than then—definitely not three years from now as Callie was hoping.

"So what's it about then?" Callie snapped as frustrated tears welled. Inside, the ache from having something she'd relied upon to get through each horrible day ripped away throbbed until it became a raging storm. Not only that, but to be told she couldn't do what her Mom had essentially given her permission to do felt like a slap in the face of what they'd shared.

She was fully aware of their answer when neither of her Moms responded. "Whatever," she scoffed, pretending it didn't hurt that two people who she looked up to didn't have faith in her. "Not like you can stop me," she muttered as she crossed her arms against her chest defiantly. No way would she let anyone stand in her way. She already had enough for a few months rent. Once she got a job, she'd be able to manage her expenses without having to dig into savings.

"Excuse me?" Stef said, her tone low with warning. She was frustrated by her daughter's insolence, which had been slowly returning as she became more comfortable around them. "Callie. We are your parents and most certainly will stop you from doing something that isn't in your best interest." It wasn't what Callie wanted to hear, but there was no point in giving the impression they would budge on this. She was uncomfortable with any of her children out of her home before they were of legal age, especially Callie, who needed hard limits and firm guidance.

Lena glared at her wife. Stef's protectiveness was well-meaning, but that was equivalent to pouring gasoline over the fire.

"But—but that's total bull! How can you say it's not in my best interest?" Callie demanded, her voice rising an octave as emotion took over. "You just shut it down without even giving it a chance! How is that fair?" She was intentionally provoking them because deep down, she knew they could stop her. They could forbid her from working. Hell, even if she managed to get a job without their permission, they could make her quit once they found out. If she refused, they'd take things away. The knowledge that there'd be no way to convince them otherwise made her feel helpless.

"You know what? Think what you want!" she retorted. "I don't care! Because you don't know what's best for me!" If they didn't consider her feelings in this, she sure as hell wasn't going to think about theirs. Of course, that was a lie. It really got to her that they didn't see how important this was. They didn't care this was something she'd wanted for a long time—something her Mom had given her blessing to, and Bill had even recommended for her.

Fury began to enmesh with sadness at the recognition of yet another loss. "I do! I know what's best for me! And my Mom did too." Her Mom had always been supportive whenever they'd talked about it.

"Okay. Okay. That's enough," Lena said gently, holding out her palms in resignation to try and calm things down before they got too out of hand. She stood up, wondering if Callie would accept a hug from her.

"No! You can't do that," Callie continued to argue, despite struggling to find words to why she felt so rotten. "You're not allowed to show up and change everything," she sputtered as the lump in her throat grew. "You're not allowed to—to take something that's important to me away—like SHE'S not important and what she said doesn't count! Because it does count. 'Cause we were with her first, before you guys. You can't push her out of the picture like she doesn't matter and what we planned on doing doesn't matter!" Her breath hitched and pent up tears streamed down her face.

Stef's heart stopped at the interpretation. "Callie. We are not pushing your Mom out—"

"You ARE!" Reeling from grief and anger, Callie said the most hurtful thing that came to mind. "And you can't do that because you're not my real Moms!"

Stef closed her eyes and blew out a breath as tears pricked her eyes. Yeah, Callie had gone there. She had gone there before and she expected it to come up here and there but that never prepared her for how much of a punch to the gut the words were. About to rebuke her, she stopped herself, realizing that anything she tried to say at this point would go unheard. In her arms, Jude fidgeted nervously. Giving him another squeeze, she helped him stand up and sent him towards the kitchen. "Why don't you go get yourself another snack, bud? Mama and I need to talk to Callie for a moment."

The boy chewed his lip as his gaze flitted towards his sister before returning to meet his Mom's. He didn't want to leave her in case anything happened…but he knew it was just a fear. Nothing would happen.

"Go ahead, Jude. Everything will be okay," Stef reassured. She watched him swallow as he tried to reconcile the conflict between what he thought he needed to do with what was being asked of him.

Seeing his turmoil and not wanting two children melting down, Lena extended her hand towards him, grateful when he accepted. "Let's go get something to eat."

For a moment, Stef thought she saw a flicker of remorse cross Callie's face as their son left with Lena. But just like that, it was gone. "Callie?" she began, willing to give her another chance. "Alright. Then you need to go upstairs," she said, withdrawing it when the girl shook her head petulantly.

"No way." Callie had had enough of being pushed around.

"I'm not asking, my love," the mother said, her voice stern and gentle all at once. Callie didn't want to talk; she wanted to fight. Stef wasn't going to play that game. If a constructive discussion wasn't in the cards then her daughter needed a cool down. All of them did. She was fully prepared to carry her upstairs if she had to ensure follow through.

"It's my choice!"

"It is your choice. You can go to your own bedroom or ours. But you walk yourself upstairs right now or I will be taking you—up to you. Make the good choice Mama and I know you are capable of."

"No!" Smug and cocky at what she thought was her decision until it was taken away. "NO! You're NOT MY REAL MOM. YOU'RE NOT!" she lashed out when she felt Stef's grip on her arm tug her towards the stairwell. Swept away in the depths of a tantrum now, she dug her feet onto the rug and clawed at the woman's arm to get her to let her go. Stef didn't like what she had to say so she was punishing her.

As hard as it was, Stef held firm and ignored her daughter's protests. After a painful boot to her ankle, she caught Callie's other arm and in one swift move, turned the girl to face her. "THAT is ENOUGH!" she said sharply, raising her voice more than she intended. Shame immediately flooded her at her broken promise to herself not to engage when Callie recoiled and a chair leg screeched against tiles. Jude. There was an awful silence before high pitched cries could be heard from the kitchen, along with Lena's efforts to console their son.

Trying to collect herself so she could finish what she had started, she held Callie by the shoulders and lowered her voice. "I hear that you are upset, but your behaviour is unacceptable and needs to stop now. We may not be your biological parents, but you are being incredibly hurtful with your words and you know better than to act this way." Perhaps shocked by the admonishment, Callie stopped fighting and allowed herself to be walked up to the master bedroom.

Motioning to the foot of their bed from the landing, Stef issued a reminder of the rules that had been broken. She found herself getting increasingly annoyed with her child, who was near hysterical over what was a minor consequence relative to the behaviour that had earned it to begin with.

"Five minutes, Callie. You are not to leave this spot. If you do, the time starts again," she said sternly, willing herself patience. She blinked back her own tears as she set the timer on her phone. It hurt to discipline when a child was acting up out of their own hurt."I want you to work on your breathing and expect you to participate in a productive conversation when Mama and I come in. Time starts now."

Without considering what she was doing, Stef swung the door close. She would leave a couple inches of space, but she really needed a physical barrier to discuss things in private with Lena. Catching a glimpse as fury gave way to fear, she stood with her back against the wall, steeling her resolve as Callie screamed and cried out her frustration. Not long after, bare feet slapping against the hardwood approached. There was a pause, then a shadow of brown curls and anxious eyes appeared in the gap of the open door.

Stef took a deep breath at the muted panic, knowing exactly what was wrong. Callie had thought she was being locked inside—something she had once mentioned in passing that a previous foster parent would do. Clearing her throat, Stef slowly pushed open the door and guided the girl back to her spot. "You're sitting here because you were shouting and using hurtful language when you became angry. That behaviour is not acceptable," she said sternly. She worried Callie would resent her for the time out, but felt there was little choice but to follow through at this point. "Five minutes begin again. The door will stay open and we will come back as soon as it's over, but you need to stay where you are," she explained hoarsely. "You'll be okay."

Still, it broke her heart to walk out onto the landing a second time and ignore the sound of Callie pummelling the bed frame as it echoed down the hallway. Cursing under her breath for choosing a time out, Stef vowed never to use it again because this wasn't worth it. It wasn't worth Callie hurting herself when she got so mad and upset that she couldn't cope. Sitting on the bottom step beside her wife, Lena's arms around her, they made a mutual decision to wait until time was up. They knew this was what Callie needed right now, but it didn't make it any easier.

"Jude okay?" Stef questioned. Chest heaving from the adrenaline, she was grateful to have Lena there, because she had seriously considered running back up there to comfort her kid.

"He's alright. Having second breakfast in the den." After many assurances that no one would hurt his sister, Lena had managed to coax him into hanging out there where it'd be quieter. While circumstances had dictated she and Stef having to split up to tend separately to the siblings, overhearing the exchange between Stef and Callie had left her crushed. Her poor girl. Slowly, they were figuring her out but times like this were reminders that they still had a ways to go.

"That blew up quick," Stef began before Lena could say anything. "I probably should've been to be more careful in how I responded when she said she was going to move out." She let out an exasperated breath she wasn't even aware she'd been holding in, needing to own this. "Lena, all I could think of was that we don't even legally have her yet. And here she is, talking about leaving home already. Leaving less than three years from now, and I got my back up, you know? She can't even clean herself properly," she said in an undertone, ensuring her thoughts on the matter remained between them.

"Honestly? I'm not sure that we could've phrased things in a way that would have significantly changed the outcome," Lena replied. Callie had been looking for a fight. "I understand where you're coming from, babe. I feel the same way. But you know, it's not really about her wanting to leave us. The idea of moving out early was probably how she coped with foster care. It was her way out. Plus, it's about getting to do what Colleen did so she can keep her close."

Stef shook her head, disagreeing although she understood. "And I get that, but at the same time, Lena...she needs to be taken care of. She needs to be raised." All children needed and deserved that, and Callie was no different.

"I completely agree with you. But to be fair, she doesn't know that. Bill basically gave her the okay when he brought up Independent Living, and it sounds like her Mom might have as well."

"Doesn't know or doesn't care?" the cop asked, skeptical.

"She doesn't know, Stef," Lena replied. Sometimes her wife made the mistake of assuming Callie was being intentionally difficult, when really she was just in a whole different phase in her development.

She placed a hand on Stef's knee. "What were you thinking with the time out?" she pointed out gently. There was no accusation in her tone; she was simply curious why Stef had chosen that route when they had decided not to.

"They don't work with her. I know," Stef answered. "Mostly, I forgot. Then I couldn't back out because I'd already told her that was what would happen." They only used this strategy with Jude, Mariana, and Brandon because all three of them responded to it, using the time to be introspective and consider what had gone wrong and what could've been done in hindsight. In contrast, Callie and Jesus would panic, rage, and try to get out of it. The lesson, if any, had to be spelled out and rarely stuck. She exhaled loudly. "I just..she can't treat us like that, Lena."

"She can't, and she will learn that in due time," Lena agreed. "She is learning that. So much of what we're seeing is her processing her losses, trying to make sense of how it affects her life." It wasn't an excuse but an explanation.

Stef nodded. Glancing at the timer and seeing that it was almost finished, she stood up. Callie needed them.

They found her huddled on the floor in front of the bed, scaring them momentarily when they didn't see her right away. One arm was snaked around both of her knees, her head nestled in the safe space it offered. She didn't seem to notice them until Stef crouched in front of her and tapped her on the shoulder. The contact brought her back into the present. "Baby…" she murmured sympathetically, heart aching at Callie's swollen, red-rimmed eyes. She looked every bit as miserable as she probably felt in that moment.

"M—Mom," Callie hiccupped, staring at her dejectedly before moving in for a hug. She was relieved they'd come back.

"Shh. You're okay, Callie. You're safe. You are loved—so, so much." Stef consoled, gently rocking back and forth as her daughter shuddered through double breaths. "We didn't leave you." Fresh tears bloomed as she cradled wet cheeks between her palms.

"Are you okay?" she asked, relieved when her question elicited a nod from her thoroughly chastened child. Knees popping, she kissed Callie on the forehead before sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of her. Their daughter looked exhausted.

"Do you know why I needed you to spend some time in here by yourself?

"How come?" Stef prompted at the half hearted nod.

"Because you did—didn't like what I had to say and I was r—rude."

Stef frowned; Callie's answers didn't always demonstrate accountability, so she had expected some deflection. "That's a good start. We needed you to calm down too. How were you rude to Mama and I?"

Callie sniffled. "I said you weren't me and Jude's real Moms and I kicked you. And I was shouting." She looked down, embarrassed for the way she'd acted. "But…but I'm still mad at you," she said brokenly. "Like really mad!" she repeated, slightly louder this time although whatever gusto she had earlier was gone. Even though she was still frustrated with them, she craved their comfort and protection.

"I know. And you're allowed to be. I'm sorry—"

Sadness and trepidation flitted back to anger, desperation, and hurt as Callie broke apart again. "No! I don't want you to be SORRY! I want my Mom! I w—want you to b—bring her BACK! BRING HER BACK! BRING HER BACK!"

Distress quickly brought demands to screaming, and Stef pulled her into her arms so her daughter did not have to weather her grief alone. She understood then, that this wasn't so much about them as it was Callie wanting her own mother. Callie had never begged for Colleen before, and it devastated her that this was something she couldn't make happen. "Oh…baby. You know I would give you anything I could but that is one thing I can't do. I'm sorry," she murmured, rubbing her back. "I'm so sorry she was taken from you and Jude, and that I cannot bring her back to you. I know you're missing her so much right now."

When she felt calmer, Callie tried again to put words to why she was hurting. "If you c—can't bring her back, c—can y—you not take me away from h—her?" She drew in a shaky breath, feeling more courageous to go on. Ever since she'd come to live here, Stef and Lena had taken her further from everything that was familiar. "Because I d—don't like it, when you do that. E—Everything is different a—and you're gonna make me forget her," she whimpered.

Lena's breath caught at the accusation. Suddenly, their daughter's earlier complaint that they couldn't 'show up and change everything' made sense. There was a status quo with her Mom, and she and Stef hadn't been as respectful of it as they thought they'd been. "Is that what it feels like when Mom and I tell you to do something that's different from how your Mom would've done things? Like we're taking her away from you?" she questioned, welling up at how their communication had been perceived. "Like she doesn't matter?"

Callie nodded before erupting into a coughing fit.

Bringing over the Kleenex, Lena dried her daughter's tears and helped her blow her nose. "I can see why it would feel that way, sweetheart. It's not what we mean to do; you know that, right?" She was thankful that Callie was starting to regain control over her emotions, because it enabled her to talk. "Your Mom...she means as much to Mom and I as she does to you, even though it's not the same way. Without her, there'd be no you...or Jude."

"I don't want to forget her. The time I lived with her still matters to me," Callie said..

"Oh, honey...your life with her matters so much. Mama and I never meant to suggest otherwise," Stef emphasized.

Callie frowned as she considered for a moment how she'd arrived to that conclusion. "But you sorta said it didn't, when you said I couldn't do what she already said I could," she said cautiously. "You took that away." Just like that, something the two of them had shared was gone. "I really don't want you to take it away, Mom, Mama. Please?" she begged, getting upset all over again. "Please don't take it away." They'd talked about it so many times that being able to do the same one day would be incredibly special.

Stef shared a sad smile with Lena as she held onto their daughter. Callie had actually started communicating, rather than bottling up her feelings. The leap in maturity level had been amazing, even though there was still much acting up.

"What exactly did your Mom say about moving out?" Lena asked, having the sense to clarify.

Voice nearly shot from prolonged crying and screaming, Callie's reply was hoarse. "She said I could when I was at least sixteen, as long as I'd be able to pay for it on my own and promise to finish my senior year."

Relief filled both Moms upon hearing the qualifiers Colleen had placed on her daughter leaving home, though they were still unsure about how to honour their agreement in an age appropriate way. It was a harsh concept—one to be saved for discussion another day and over the years to come. That while they wanted her to do as many of the things she'd talked about with her birth mother, she also had to accept that that didn't preclude their ability as parents to establish boundaries and expectations around the same topics.

"I think your Mom knew you well enough to know when the time came, you could absolutely make it on your own. She's right. It's a wonderful goal when you're old enough, and can manage everything else you need to, like pay for your expenses and complete your education. Mom and I are in full support of all of that," Lena began. They had been quick to learn that Colleen had more of a laid back approach to parenting compared to theirs. In spite of their differences, however, she and Stef would need to ally with her to earn Callie's respect. "We might not agree on every little detail—let me finish—but we don't have to, to want the same things for you," she explained, hoping their daughter would be easier to reason with following the exhaustion from their fight.

"Does that make sense? That we actually want the same things as what your Mom wanted for you?" Stef tried. She was a bit nervous to set Callie off again, but was convinced this needed to be laid out sooner than later.

"But I don't want anything to be different. I want it to be the same," Callie said quietly, picking up on their loophole. She was old enough to understand where her foster moms were coming from. And it was hard to deny their warmth and concern, but all of this still felt like a dismissal of what she'd had with her Mom.

Sighing, Stef gave her child a pointed look before maneuvering the both of them around so their backs were against the bed. Callie immediately curled up against her and held on. It was hard to stay upset at her daughter's stubbornness for too long. Of course, she sympathized with why Callie wanted things to stay the same. So much about their lives were different; it was only natural that she would want to hold on to anything and everything that she could.

"Is that what you were trying to tell us downstairs?" Stef asked, referring to the tirade about she and Lena coming between Callie and her Mom. "When you said Mama and I don't get a say if it's something you and your Mom have already discussed? That you'd go ahead with it anyways, because...we're not your real Moms?" Even making reference to those awful words that had lashed out at them brought a lump to her throat. Feeling goosebumps on the girl's arm, she grabbed the throw off the bed and draped it over them.

Shy all of a sudden, Callie didn't say anything, content to just listen. "Because, that's not fair to us, either," Stef continued, wrapping her arms around her daughter. It'd been something she'd held onto for a long time, afraid to be honest about; however, it was time to acknowledge their feelings, because this wasn't okay with them. She and Lena accepted they'd always be second to Colleen—they were, in many ways. But they also needed space to parent. They weren't her birth moms but that didn't mean they weren't her real parents, either.

"We're trying to do our very best to raise you the way your Mom would've wanted for you. And it's hard, because we can't call her and ask, hey? We're not trying to push her out of the picture or replace her. Or make you feel like the relationship you two shared wasn't important, baby. I promise you that cannot be further from the truth."

Callie's gaze fell into her lap as she fiddled with the large tassels lining the edge of the throw. She was embarrassed over how she'd acted during their fight. It'd been awhile since she'd used that card against them, and it was mean. "Yeah. I just...I just felt so mad inside," she admitted with a whisper.

Stef cleared her throat, fighting to keep composure. "We could see that. Do you think next time you could tell us with the words you just used, instead of the ones before or showing us how mad you can get?"

Appreciating the closeness, Callie nodded against her foster mom's chest.

"Can we get an agreement from you on not using language like that again?"

"Yes, Mom. Okay," Callie mumbled, vowing to behave better. "But, Mo—om," she said, inflection turning it into a question. "I didn't know that that was what I wanted to say. When I got mad, I mean."

That was the truth. She hadn't fully understood all the reasons she'd been so angry until they talked. What seemed so simple now to put in words had been impossible earlier. It had been impossible to speak about something she didn't even know what bothering her.

"Thank you for your honesty, Callie." Another moment passed before Stef spoke up. "I think I owe you an apology. Living on your own is something you've wanted for a long time, and it was unkind of me to focus on all the things that make it hard." In doing so, she'd inadvertently sent the message that she didn't have confidence in Callie's ability to carry out those tasks. "When you're ready, there will be nothing you can't handle. I believe that one hundred percent"

In hindsight, it was easy to see that Callie cared a lot about what they thought of her and how desperately she sought their approval. She had only known Colleen's support, and had been deprived of it for so long while in foster care that the idea of people having her back was a novelty.

Stef ducked her head to catch her daughter's gaze so she could make sure she was being heard. "I think, I worry about you. I worry because Mama and I haven't had you for very long and I was surprised to hear you talking about moving. I don't want you to go away because I like having you here with us," she admitted. "But I shouldn't have dismissed something important to you that easily, and I'm very sorry I did that," she continued, regretting how quickly she'd quashed the goal. Callie deserved better.

Callie simply stared at the woman, not used to having adults apologize to her. Stef and Lena did truly care about her. No one else, apart from her own Mom, had taken the time to explain and own up to things they did wrong. "I'm not ungrateful, I swear," she whispered, letting her gaze flit up to briefly. "I like living with you guys."

Lena gave her daughter's knee a reassuring squeeze. "We would never think you were ungrateful for looking forward to growing up. Not for a second." She looked to Stef, wondering if she would be comfortable enough to open up about some aspects of her life from when she was younger.

"I actually left my parents' house the weekend after my own high school graduation," Stef shared, hoping the disclosure wouldn't bite her in the ass later. She saw a lot of herself in Callie. "I couldn't wait to get out. Mike and I found this dirt cheap apartment in a sketchy area of town. A few months later we started Police Academy." She chuckled softly, thinking about that time. They'd just been kids in the big city.

Callie pulled away to look up at her in awe. "Really? You left Grandma Sharon?"

Stef smiled kindly, having managed to capture the girl's attention with the revelation. Simple as that, her guard was down. "Yup. My parents…so, Grandma Sharon and Grandpa Frank, were going through their divorce then. Things were out of my control, Callie…kinda like it was for you these last five years." She paused, remembering how bereft and mixed up and terrifying things felt as her parents fought over custody and visitation.

"Moving out was my ticket out of all that chaos and upheaval. So, I get why you've been looking forward to it. Why it's something you can't wait to have in reach." She wished now that she hadn't castigated her the way she had. "Things have been pretty rough on you and Jude after your Mom died, and I get why you would want to be on your own as soon as you're able to. I would be fighting to get out if I were you, too. I did fight to get out when I was around your age."

But while she shared the experience of living in unstable circumstances and empathized with Callie wanting to be in control of her own circumstances, she couldn't truly appreciate how hard it'd been for Callie. There had been plenty of fighting due to her parents' volatile relationship, but no physical violence or abuse of any kind. Money was tight, but there was never any uncertainty around if her needs would be met. Her Mom had always been there for her; she didn't have to be a parent to anyone. So she couldn't imagine how difficult and lonely it had to have been for Callie, to have dealt with all that and more, starting at eight years old. She hadn't gone through half of that and still had wanted to escape.

"You've been focused so much on surviving. I know in some homes you had to figure out pretty quickly how to be responsible for Jude all by yourself, and you did. You did so well taking care of both of you and we are incredibly proud of you for that."

She stopped, pressing a kiss onto Callie's hair. "But we want you and Jude to have the opportunity to thrive. Not only survive, but to grow in as many ways as you can. So please, just slow down a little," she urged.

"Please let Mama and I give you the childhood you deserve. Let us do that for you."