Epilogue

Two weeks after Adoption Day…

Stef was going to regret this tomorrow, she knew it. But Callie and Jude had been asking and asking to ride their bikes and her guilty conscience wouldn't allow her to put it off any longer. Due to the sheer number of tasks requiring their attention following the adoption, along with late nights at the precinct, she'd already reneged on her promise to take them several times and she'd be damned if she broke it again. There'd been some opportunities to practice with Stuart before he and Dana had flown home. But as Jude had pointed out, that wasn't the same as going with his mothers.

Initially, she and Lena had worried they'd have five grumpy kids the next day from being up past their bedtimes. That being said, adoption had put an end to Callie and Jude's journey through foster care, as well as marked the end of theirs as fosterers. That deserved celebration. Plus, tomorrow was Sunday. Her Mom had offered to drop by the house early to wrangle the kids so she and Lena could sleep in.

So here they were, at the track loop next to the recreation centre at nine o'clock in the evening. She had come straight from work to meet Lena and the kids there. Rubberized pavement wasn't exactly ideal for bike riding but it was the only place with adequate lighting. Plus, Callie's bike was too large for training wheels so the surface would provide some cushioning from spills.

Excited to cheer on their new siblings, the rest of the kids gathered off to one side with the kazoos leftover from what they'd smuggled into the courtroom. Callie and Jude took turns going around while Moms alternated between cheerleading and spotting whoever was riding. Currently, Lena had a watchful eye on Jude as he rounded a corner, getting a feel for how far to crank the handle without toppling. She smiled to herself, proud when he nearly tipped from overcorrecting his turn but quickly recovered. He was doing really well and didn't need hands on help anymore. The novelty of having a bike having worn off, Jude had stopped sneaking into the garage to take it out on his own. And while disappointed when they couldn't take him out, he often found something else to do with minimal complaint.

However, the absence of opportunity to go riding with Moms—specifically Mom—had been bothering him much more than he'd been letting on, which they learned about on the way home from Dr. Wiseman's one day.

Reaching across the center console, Stef squeezed Lena's hand. It had been a rough appointment, one that had dredged up Callie's feelings around their role as her adoptive parents and what it meant for her relationship with Colleen. The topic had then shifted unexpectedly when Jude asked what would happen if she and Lena ever split up. Given that neither of them had ever considered divorce, his worry had surprised them. They were glad to have Dr. Wiseman as they stumbled through an explanation of custody and visitation—referencing Brandon's relationship with Mike as an example—with reassurances all of the kids would stay together. Though the scenario was unlikely, Jude needed to hear the logistics. It was difficult to determine how much had been absorbed, but during the parent debrief they agreed that the what-ifs of potential disruption would remain a fixture as the kids adjusted to having permanency and stability in their lives. To help ease the transition, they were encouraged to revisit the goals they'd set over the past couple months.

While the kids had snacks in the car, Moms broached the idea of starting on the ones requiring parent participation. The goals had been written some time ago, soon after Jude had found his bike in the alley. At that time, Callie didn't have one, so she had prioritized camping in the backyard. Remembering her own bike now that her brother had mentioned his, she was waffling on her choice. Their youngest, perhaps not wanting his project to be overshadowed by his older sister's or to share his time with Moms, vehemently disagreed. The both of them were now yelling over each other from the back row to get their attention.

"Okay! Both of you! I get that you're excited, but we need you to bring down the volume a notch. One at a time!" Stef begged. Traffic had slowed considerably due to an accident on the main drag and she was trying to contend with impatient drivers cutting in without signalling. The kids were making it hard to focus.

She sighed when she caught glimpse of the fallen expressions in the rearview. The pair were simply over the moon at this idea of being able to ride a bike—something so many people took for granted. It was easy to know what these children wanted: smiles always reached wild-looking eyes and words tumbled without restraint. She and Lena had talked about how grateful they were to have their parents help with getting Callie her own as her Adoption Day present. Feeling bad for raining on their parade, Stef was about to apologize when her son started voicing his disagreement again.

"You CAN'T! You can't just go change it like that," Jude protested, incredulous. "You wanted to do camping," he sputtered. Plus, he'd already ridden a bit without his training wheels with Grandpa helping, and the thought of having to share his time with Callie when he was already so close to being able to do it himself just sucked. "I started first. You have to wait."

The girl frowned; Jude's reasoning wasn't really fair. There was no reason to wait—his interests didn't come before her's. "Yeah well that's not gonna happen. 'Cause I'm gonna be waiting a long time for you to figure it out and I'm not doing that."

"MOM!" Jude screeched. "That's not true!" He'd almost gotten it!

Knowing it'd bug her brother, Callie smirked. "Moms, can I swap my goal?" she asked casually.

"You're not allowed to do that! Is Callie allowed to do that?" Jude exclaimed. They'd already written it on the worksheet: he was going to learn to ride his bike with Mom. Callie was doing something else.

"Alright, time out!" Lena called. It was getting too loud in the car. On the verge of a tantrum, her youngest was whiny and bouncing in his seat. "Remember, these were just ideas. There is no reason why Callie can't change her mind about what she would like to do with us. But Callie, if your main reason for picking your bike is because you want to antagonize your brother, perhaps it's better to go with camping."

"Yeah. And bud, there's no reason why Callie has to wait," Stef added, sensing some jealousy there. "Mama and I can help you and Callie learn to ride your bikes at the same time."

Jude shook his head. He'd been supposed to learn with Mom, but she had had very little time for him lately. If Callie wanted to do the same and also needed Mom, there'd be even less for him. "WHEN?" he demanded, face contorted into a scowl. "You always say we will but you're always working late and it's dark when you come home and then Mama says I need to go to bed even though you SAID you would take me, but you never do," he said all in one breath before adding petulantly, "I'm never gonna get to go!"

"I know, baby. You've been very patient and I am sorry our plans keep falling through. But we will get to go." She bit her lip, feeling awful about the broken promises that had shaken her son's confidence in her. "I've been trying my hardest but after work isn't always the best time. We talked about how things can be unexpected at my job, remember?" she coaxed, catching him nod in the mirror. "And well, there's been a lot of those…"

It was an explanation, not an excuse of course. A combination of being backlogged and shortstaffed at work had her doing a lot of overtime. Now more than ever, Stef felt the need for a more reliable schedule that would allow her to be at home more.

Downtrodden, Jude remained silent.

"Do you remember the suggestion Mama and I had when stuff doesn't go as planned?" Stef asked, fearing a complete meltdown.

"No," the boy grumbled even though he did remember something about being understanding instead of pitching a fit. He didn't feel like being understanding, though. She wasn't listening. "Mom..." he whined.

"I'm up for giving you a hand if you are," Lena interjected, redirecting in an effort to cheer up her son. Though, whenever Stef had to stay late at the station, she was also swamped once she got in the door. On those nights, it was all about getting the kids fed and to bed.

"Maybe I can learn to ride first so I can teach Jude if you don't have time," Callie offered sweetly, knowing that would rile him up.

"No! You promised that YOU would!" Annoyed, the boy booted the back of the driver's seat. He didn't want anyone else. He wanted Mom to not break her promise.

Shocked by his outburst and knowing Mom wouldn't like that, Callie cuffed him on the back of the head. "Don't do that!"

"OW—" he yelped as he tried to get her back. "Mama!"

Rattled by the unexpected kick and the altercation from the back seat, Stef gripped the wheel with both hands. "HEY!" she scolded, loud enough to capture their attention. "Young man. You do not kick. This is not how you deal with frustration. We use our words."

Jude began to tear up. He was the one who'd gotten hurt but Mom was mad at him. Now she really wouldn't ever take him for a bike ride. "But Callie—"

"Ah ah. We're talking about you right now," Stef said, putting a stop to his excuse. "You don't worry about your sister." She waited as he mumbled an apology. "Thank you. Next time this happens we will have a problem." Thoroughly chastised, her son hung his head. "We need to be as safe as possible when in the car. That means not giving whoever is driving a surprise. Am I making myself clear?"

Lena turned around to make eye contact with their daughter. They'd been talking a lot about her getting physical so she was not impressed at what had just taken place. "Callie. What have we told you about hitting? And who deals with behaviour in our home?" she questioned rhetorically. "I'd like a verbal response when I'm speaking to you, please. If you choose not to talk, we can continue at home" she warned when the girl didn't offer so much as a response.

Callie averted her gaze, feeling sheepish at being told off in front of Jude. "You and Mom. Sorry."

"I appreciate your apology. But I'm not who you should be apologizing to."

"Sorry for hitting you, Judy." Callie rolled her eyes. It hadn't been that hard. Considering her brother's dilemma sincerely for the first time and struck with an idea, she grabbed the folder in the backseat that always came with them to Dr. Wiseman's. Leafing through and finding the goals sheet, she tried to shove it between the front seats. Unable to reach, she undid her seatbelt. "You did promise you'd teach him, Mom. See, you wrote that you would in the action plan box!" she piped up, finally succeeding in pushing it through the gap.

'Oh my God," Stef muttered under her breath. It was impossible to get anything past these kids. Startling when the automated alert for a disengaged restraint came through the car's speakers, she slowed to a stop. Her daughter was bent on getting her on heart medication.

Callie fumbled with her seatbelt, clever enough to know she'd be in hot water if she didn't buckle back up. She smiled innocently when Mom whipped her head around, catching her in the act. "Hi, Mom."

"Don't you ever unbuckle your seatbelt in a moving vehicle again."

"Yes, Momma. I forgot—" Callie began apologizing before being cut off by the SUV tattling on her.

"—PLEASE FASTEN PASSENGER SEATBELT."

A horn blasted from behind as Stef waited for her precious cargo to be fastened in properly, elevating her blood pressure even more. Once she started moving again, she waved at the impatient driver. Recognizing a street name, she took advantage of a gap in the traffic to cross over to the right lane She needed a break.

"Babe…" Lena said quietly, holding onto her seat. Stef wasn't speeding but she was driving as if on a mission. "Honey…" This was not their usual route home.

She didn't say anything more as her wife kept driving before pulling over beside an old playground. The kind with wood beams and rickety metal slides that would get way too hot in full sun. There was even one of those metal climbing domes she hadn't seen in ages.

Hopping out, Stef pulled open Jude's door and helped him down from his booster. "Out," she ushered. "Out, out, out! Both of you need to blow off some stink." For the sake of her sanity, the children needed a chance to tire themselves out. Plus, it'd give her and Lena a moment together.

"Where are you gonna be?" Jude asked, worried. They'd been bad, so Moms might be leaving them.

Stef, who immediately knew he was checking because he was afraid they'd drive off without them, pointed to a nearby bench. "Right over there. No one is getting back into the car for at least fifteen minutes." Weighing the risk of a lost set of car keys against Jude having some peace of mind, she dropped them into the pocket of his cargo pants. "Can you keep these safe for me until we need to go?"

He nodded, thrilled to be keeper of the keys. "Yup! I can!"

Stef tousled his hair. "Off you go, then. Have fun!" Callie was already gone, halfway up the jungle gym. "What's up?" she asked when his expression suddenly became serious.

"I wish I had a key to give you..." he said shyly.

"Oh yeah? A key to what?"

He grinned, pure unbridled joy stretched across his face as he slapped a palm to his chest. He reminded her so much of Jesus at this age. "To my heart, Mommy!"

Before she could respond, he was off chasing his sister.

"Alright! Fourth time's a charm," Stef said confidently. She pushed the kickstand up and stabilized the bike so her daughter could climb on. They'd done a few runs around the track with her pushing—providing just enough momentum so Callie could keep her balance as she mastered pedalling and steering at the same time. This time, she planned to let go, although Callie didn't know that yet.

One foot on the ground, Callie reached up to adjust her helmet. She gripped the handlebars—knuckles white and squished up beside her Mom's—before steadying her breath and bringing her other foot up onto its pedal.

"Oh no, no, no. Momma is not doing all the work this time," Stef said when Callie relied on her to keep her fully upright. "Put your foot back down—tippy toes, that a girl," she praised as her daughter followed through, albeit with some hesitation. "You're going to push off—I'll help you get started. Once you're off, get your other foot up and start pedalling. I'll let you steer like we did last time and when you're stable, I'll let go.

"Don't overthink it. You're doing great," Stef reassured as her daughter stared wide eyed. She always got nervous at the beginning.

Callie swallowed. That sounded easier said than done, but it was now or never. "Kay. Ready."

"Atta girl."

Once Callie pushed off, Stef followed at a quick pace—one hand firmly gripping the seat, the other on the handlebar. Soon it turned to a light jog to prevent Callie from tipping as her foot slipped in the scramble to get her other foot onto its pedal. That maneuver was still tricky for her. "Good?" she asked when she could barely keep up. The girl was really gunning it.

"Yup! Let go—let go of the handlebar," Callie told her, concentrating on steering. Things were starting to come together. With her Mom taking up the back, she wouldn't be falling over anytime soon.

Stef laughed, loving this confidence from her daughter. Callie was totally ready. "Okay! One…two…three…" she counted. "Here we go!" Although she was no longer holding onto the seat, she kept her hand just behind it as she ran alongside for another few yards. If Callie fell now, she'd never hear the end of it. As soon as she was confident her daughter didn't need her anymore, Stef slowed down. It was time to let her go. Holding her breath, she watched Callie take it from there. The bike wobbled with one overcorrection, then another, and recovered as Callie picked up speed.

Turning to her wife, Stef gave two thumbs up. "Look, Mama!" she bragged, waving jazz hands. "No hands!"

"It's all you, baby! That's all you!" Stef praised when her daughter looked for her, realizing for the first time she was without an assist. "Eye on the prize, Cal, nowhere else!" she called when the lapse in attention caused the bike to veer.

"MOMS! WATCH ME! I'M DOING IT!" Callie shouted. Buoyed by newfound confidence and adrenaline, she dared herself to cruise standing. Lowering herself back down, she pedalled faster, relishing in the cool air in her face as it whipped her hair around. It was every ounce of amazing as she had imagined it'd be and the most free she'd felt in a long time. As if she was leaving everything behind that had hurt and held her back.

Seeing the curved corner of the track approaching, she slowed to clear it. She cut it a bit close but made it and heard her family cheer and the kazoos blowing. Throwing her head back in delight, she panicked for a moment when the bike wobbled. A cue to pick up speed again.

"You're doing awesome, Bug. Keep her steady—nice and easy," Stef instructed, heart in her mouth. "Nice! Very nicely done!" She swelled with pride as she stood beside her wife and kids, still puffing from that last run.

"She's doing it!" Lena whispered excitedly as she held onto Stef's arm. No matter how old their kids were when they learned, it was always a big moment for them, too. It marked the first steps of independence—the natural cleaving away from parents that took place with growth. With their bike, they could go anywhere.

Taking the next corner was a bit dodgy. Trying to slow down, Callie pedalled backwards to brake like she'd practiced. Her foot slipped in her haste, and she clambered to return her foot to its pedal. Finding herself dangerously close to the edge of the track, Callie cranked left. Still going at full speed, the maneuver caused the front wheel to stick, pitching her off the side before the bike fell down on top of her.

Callie laid there stunned, trying not to cry as footsteps ran to catch up to her. Knee starting to throb, she drew in a trembling breath as Mom pulled the bike off of her and helped her up.

"That sucked." With things going so well, she hadn't expected them to end this way.

Wrapping an arm around her daughter to bring her close, Stef pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Oh, honey. Falling is no fun," she acknowledged, sympathizing with her discouragement. "But you did so well. That was a great run and we're so proud of you!" The way it'd ended didn't erase all of that progress.

She winced, noticing the friction burn on Callie's calf and an angry-looking scrape to her elbow—which had cushioned the fall. "Ouch…" Stef sympathized. No doubt, that would've been painful. "We'll flush that out and get a bandaid on when we get to the car. Do you want to have one more go around the track before we leave?" she asked, giving a choice because she didn't want the fall to be the reason Callie stopped.

Callie shook her head. "I want to pack it in," she said, on the verge of tears.

"Alright. That's probably for the best. It's getting late." Together, they walked back to their family, Callie glued to her side as she pushed the bike with one hand. The rest of the kids were kicking around a soccer ball and seemed like they were winding down.

"I'm going to take Callie to the car. Are you okay with the others and the anti-starvation kit?" she asked Lena once they caught up. "Jude can walk his bike and someone else can take Callie's?"

Lena snorted at Stef's reference to the wheeled cooler. Adding two growing kids to the mix had increased food intake exponentially, requiring a change in habits to keep their budget reasonable. As a result, they had started lugging snacks, sandwiches, and drinks everywhere. They often joked it was their sixth child and would ask each other if it'd 'been fed' before going out.

"We'll be fine, you guys go ahead. You okay, Bug?" She exchanged a sad smile with her wife when Callie slid closer to Stef without a word. Their daughter needed some time with her Mom.

"Thanks, babe. We'll see you soon."

Back at the car, Stef rifled through the first aid kit for the gauze, bandaids, and antibacterial spray. She patted the back of the trunk. "In a moment I'm going to ask you to hop up, but we need to rinse your arm first," she stated calmly. Blood was beginning to bead on Callie's elbow. Finding a new water bottle, she cracked open the seal and placed the gauze directly over the top to slow the flow.

Horrified, Callie stared at her. "I don't want you to—it's gonna sting!" she balked.

"Just for a moment, baby. We need to make sure it's clean," Stef gently reasoned. "We'll spray it right after with the Bactine and get a bandaid on, and it'll feel so much better, okay?" She pointed to the label on the canister, hoping to do some more convincing. "There's a numbing agent in it."

Callie drew back further. "I don't want to be numb, though!"

Stef sighed. Her daughter had gotten hurt and was probably tired and deserved some understanding. "Let's do it quick to get it over with," she said patiently. That was a trick she'd learned; that sometimes, talking about the plan as if it were happening eventually got compliance. Not always, but sometimes.

She was relieved when Callie rolled her shoulder back, allowing her to access to the area. "It's not so bad…" she soothed as her daughter stiffened at the sting from water hitting raw skin. She hurried to get the cap off the Bactine. "This is going to feel cold but won't hurt. It's to kill any germs left behind." Once finished, she helped her climb one-armed, up into the trunk before smoothing a bandaid over the scrape. "There. Good as new."

Knowing Callie needed a little more fussing over, she held shaky knees steady. She could understand her child's disheartenment. Everyone who had learned to ride a bike had experienced the same highs and lows, frustrations and exhilaration. "Baby…what's wrong?" she murmured as tears pooled. Mother's instinct told her there was more to Callie's sadness than the fall off the bike.

The girl shrugged, sniffling. She was a bit shaken up but mostly, she was overwhelmed with emotion by everything that had gone right. Specifically, the realization she'd expected Mom to come running when she was on the ground. Years of getting used to disappointment when no one showed to make anything better had all lead to this moment of waiting for someone to come and fix it. She wasn't alone anymore.

At a loss for words, Callie threw her arms around her. She was thankful for the space Mom was giving her at the moment without pushing for an answer.

"What's this for?" Stef questioned. "Oh, sweetness. You okay?" she consoled, feeling Callie's shoulders quake. She laughed softly, her humour derived from a place of sympathy, relief, and gratitude she could read her daughter.

"No," Callie admitted, comfortable to own and speak her truth. She held on tighter. "But I will be."

Stef felt her breath catch at the quiet determination that things would get better.

More than that, the words gave her hope. In many ways, it was Callie validating their family as a safe place for her to complete this transformation: so she could move forward from the current situation to where she hoped she could be.

"You will be okay, baby girl. More than okay."

They were finally coming out of the dark.

Not unscathed—but not broken, either.