The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 21: Vacation of Devastation (Part 1)
(This chapter starts off in the dead of night, the night of May 22nd to be specific, somewhere in the Pacific Ocean…aboard a huge black colored pirate ship. This pirate ship is surrounded by smaller black colored ships. Hordes of crew mates are waiting outside the captain's quarters for their captain to come out. Inside said captain's quarters, it's dark and a tall and muscular shadowy figure is standing in front of a huge mirror. Inside the mirror is an astral projection of Satan)
Satan: Those Saints are really starting to get on my last nerve. They've bested nearly all of my advocates. Even the faithful Charon, the intelligent Noah, and charismatic Dimitri have fallen to the power that these tiny tyrants possess. They're even starting to learn about the power of this Love Sync. That brings us to today, seven advocates down, and now you're all I have left. As my final and strongest advocate, it falls on you to not only harvest the blood needed to free my son from his prison, but also to put those Saints in their place once and for all. I trust that you and your crew can handle this mission, right Captain Alejandro Cervantes?
(The captain comes out of the shadows to rear his ugly face)
(Captain Alejandro Cervantes has long black hair with a black beard. He's wearing an eye patch over his left eye, but his right eye is hazel colored. He also has a black pirate hat with a white father in it as well as a picture of a skull and crossbones. He's wearing a red captain's coat with gold buttons and a white undershirt, and brown pants. He has a golden earring on his left ear. His left hand is wearing a black glove while a scimitar is in the place where his right hand should be. He also has a black boot on his right foot but a small cannon is in the place where his left foot should be)
Cervantes: Aye, never you fear me master. Me loyal crew and I shall give the young master the sustenance he needs while simultaneously swabbing the deck with those scurvy saints! (Gets down on one knee and places his hat over his heart) You have me word as a pirate, and a high ranking soldier in your dark enterprise, me liege.
Satan: Excellent. And I really love the enthusiasm. Do not let me down, captain. (His astral projection disappears from the mirror as Cervantes walks to a shelf holding loads of alcoholic beverages)
Cervantes: (Grabs a bottle and takes a sip from it) Aye, Dolphin Sea Ale, ye be good to me.
(Cervantes puts the bottle back as he looks at his reflection in his scimitar hand)
Cervantes: From here on out, I avenge me fallen advocate brother and sisters. I will succeed in me conquest!
(Cervantes busts out of his captain's quarters to greet his crew mates. The crew mates give their captain their undivided attention)
Cervantes: Me loyal crew! As much as it pains me to admit, we're completely on our own. Those South Park Saints made minced meat out of the other seven advocates. It now falls on us to harvest the mortal blood, and put that gaggle of scurvy dogs in their place! We're going to make them all wish they were never conceived!
(The crew mates cheer as Cervantes looks up at the crow's nest)
Cervantes: Aye! Up in the Crow's Nest! Where be the closest place we can land?
(The crew mate in the Crow's Nest looks through his telescope and in the distance he sees Venice Beach)
Crew Mate #1: I see a beach just east of here. It looks far away though, sir!
Cervantes: Aye! If we set sail now, we be casting anchor by tomorrow afternoon! What do you say, me mateys!?
(The crew mates cheer with much enthusiasm)
Cervantes: Yar, har, har! Alright! Let's set sail! Full speed eastward!
(Cervantes' pirate ship leads the way as the plethora of smaller ships follow it towards Venice Beach)
(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)
(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)
(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)
(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)
(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)
(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)
(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)
(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)
(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)
(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)
(It's bright and early on Friday May 23rd back in South Park. All of the senior class is gathered in the school courtyard, loading their luggage on the coach bus that'll take them to Venice Beach. Once the students load their luggage, they hop on the bus to look for a seat. We start this off with Kyle, Cartman, and Stan loading their belongings onto the bus)
Kyle: I'm bringing my old PS4 along so we can play in the hotel room later tonight.
Stan: Sweet dude.
Cartman: What games do you have, dude?
Kyle: I brought along Grand Theft Auto V, Overwatch, Uncharted 4, Call of Duty Advanced Warfare, Horizon Zero Dawn, and Nier Automata.
Stan: Awesome!
Cartman: Overwatch you say? I call Hanzo.
Kyle: No way dude, I want Hanzo. You always get Hanzo, let somebody else have a turn.
Cartman: Hanzo is my main in Overwatch, I can't let you play as him.
Kyle: Yes you can, asswipe, it's called sharing. Look it up!
Cartman: Sharing? What is this kindergarten?
(As Kyle and Cartman argued some more, Stan notices Bridon Gueermo with Jason White, Esther Green, and Bradley Biggle. He sees Bridon loading his luggage on the bus while the other three load some musical instruments onboard)
(Jason, has a man-bun in his hair, black glasses covering his eyes, purple fingerless gloves, a purple button up dress shirt, blue pants, and black shoes)
(Esther has long black hair, and she is wearing a plain blue t-shirt with a ruffled pink skirt, black thigh high socks, and pink shoes)
(Bradley let his hair grow, and he is wearing a dark blue sweater with black jeans and black shoes)
(17 year old Bridon Gueermo still has his brown hair shaggy and unkempt, and he's wearing a long sleeve blue shirt underneath a black t-shirt with a picture of the Pink Floyd prism logo, as well as olive shorts and black sneakers)
Stan: Hey wait a minute, Bridon what are you doing here?
Bridon: (Turns his attention to Stan) Oh, hey Stan!
Stan: Bridon, aren't you in the 11th grade? Why are you here?
Bridon: Relax, Stan. My mom gave me permission to go on this trip so long as I make up any lost work. It wasn't easy, but she managed to pull some strings and next thing you know I'm coming with you guys to Venice Beach!
Kyle: Kick ass, dude.
Cartman: Why do you want to come with us anyway?
Bridon: I'm sure you know Esther, Jason, and Bradley behind me. And I'm sure you also know that the four of us are the four members of the garage band "Wolf Jaws". With me on electric guitar, Esther on bass guitar, Bradley on drums, and Jason is our lead vocalist.
Stan: Yeah, I hear you guys practice in the band room every day. You guys really rocked last autumn's talent show.
Bradley: Thanks, we thought so too. We came in second place to that sophomore chick who sang "My Heart Will Go On" from Titanic.
Esther: Overrated song from an even more overrated movie.
Jason: The four of us decided to go on this Venice Beach trip to try and promote our band. Lots of music producers to be found in Los Angeles, which is about a half hour drive from the beach. With any luck, this senior trip could be our ticket to the sweet life.
Esther: Not to mention if we make like street performers and perform on the boardwalk we could earn ourselves some serious coin.
Stan: Well good luck to you all.
Bridon: Thanks Stan. (Boards the bus with his three other band mates) See you on the bus.
Kyle: So Bridon is joining us on our trip. I wonder what other surprises await us.
Kenny: (Runs up to his four friends with a note) I have a secret admirer guys!
Cartman: (Looks at Kyle) Well there you go dude, another surprise.
Stan: (Pats Kenny on the back) Good for you man! Do you know who it is?
Kenny: No. That's why it's called a secret admirer. I don't know who the person is. You think it's somebody from our team?
Kyle: If it is, then the only viable options are Maria, Millie, and Heidi since they're the only single female members of the group.
Stan: (Crosses his fingers) Please don't let the note be Heidi's! Please don't let it be Heidi's!
Cartman: You're only hoping it's not from her because you have the hots for her.
Kyle: C'mon Stan, just tell her already.
Stan: Don't rush me. I'm still a little nervous okay.
Cartman: Fine, whatever you say…pussy.
Stan: SHUT UP!
(We then cut to Sam, Wendy, Clyde, Bridgette, Kevin, Craig, and Tweek who have just finished loading their luggage on the bus and are waiting for Red, Ursula, Annie, and Kurt to show up)
Bridgette: Bebe told me that Cody is coming with Sophocles, Leon, Mephesto, and Mephesto's son Terrance. They should be taking the Oppenheimer private jet there. They're also bringing our gear in case trouble gets started in Venice Beach.
Kevin: Not a bad move. You never know when and where that last advocate is going to pop up.
Tweek: I just wonder why Terrance is going with Cody on the jet instead of with us on the bus.
Wendy: That snob thinks he doesn't deserve to travel with us in what he calls, "a peasant mobile." And all because he has a high I.Q.
Sam: He's never going to make friends if he acts all high and mighty like that, you know.
Clyde: Hey, leave Terrance alone you guys. He's really cool when you get to know him. Give him a chance, and you'll see that he's an awesome guy to be around.
Wendy: We'll believe it when we see it.
(Sam looks to see Kurt's Camaro arrive)
Sam: Hey, they finally made it!
(Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula step out of the car with their luggage, ready to load it on the bus)
Red: Sorry we're late everybody, we just stopped off at Walmart to get ready for this trip. Had to get all of the essentials.
Craig: We understand.
Kurt: (Gives a list to Annie) Annie, darling, can you read off this check list while Ursula, Red and I unload the car.
Annie: Of course, love. (Clears her throat and starts to read the list) Fishing poles and bait.
Ursula: (Holding up a some fishing poles and bait) Check!
Annie: Barbecue food, spatula, tongs, cooler, assorted beverages, portable grill, and charcoal for said grill.
Kurt: (Loading these items onto the bus) Check!
Annie: Beach toys!
Red: (Loading inflatable rafts, snorkels, flippers, and volleyball/badminton set onto the bus) Check
Annie: A wide variety of snacks for the trip.
Kurt, Red, and Ursula: (Holding up a variety of chips and candies) Check!
Annie: And finally (Reads the last item with a hint of confusion). A watermelon and some grease.
Ursula: Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! (Holds up a bucket of grease as Kurt holds up a watermelon, both with looks of excitement on their face) Check-a-roni!
(Sam and Bridgette get looks of excitement on their face as well)
Sam: Watermelon and grease.
Bridgette: Guys, are we seriously going to try and the game back.
Ursula: Oh yeah, we're bringing it back alright.
Sam: Greased Watermelon.
Kurt: (Nodding) Greased Watermelon.
Sam, Kurt, Bridgette, & Ursula: Greased Watermelon!
(The four friends laugh with excitement)
Clyde: What the hell is Greased Watermelon?
Bridgette: Greased Watermelon is one of the greatest pool games we've ever played. Many a hot summer day was spent playing it.
Kevin: How do you play? We still don't understand.
Kurt: Alright, what happens is. First, you take a watermelon. Then, you slather it with grease. Then, you throw the greased up watermelon into the pool. And finally, the games commence.
Sam: The rules are simple. Try and grab the watermelon and hold on to it for dear life. As you're holding it, the opposing players will try and make you let go of it by any means possible.
Ursula: A round lasts five minutes. The person to have held onto the greased watermelon the longest once the five minutes are up wins.
Kurt: (Facepalm) Oh crap, that's right. I forgot to buy stop watches to keep track of time. Oh well, I'm sure they have some down at the beach.
Red: How do you get the opponents to let go of the watermelon.
Bridgette: Oh there's a variety of ways. Can be something as innocent as tickling the opponent, or lie by saying "your mother's calling." Or it can be as crazy as inflicting as much pain and misery on the opponent as possible.
Tweek: Uh…
Ursula: Straight up, shit can get real rowdy real fast when playing Greased Watermelon. Do what you have to do to get that watermelon. Many a game had us leave with an assortment of scratches, bruises, hurt feelings from name calling, pulled hair, and even a broken arm in one of our cases.
Kurt: It was me. It was my arm in case you were wondering.
Ursula: We were crazy. But hey, that's Greased Watermelon for you. I remember we even tried writing a letter to the Olympics so they can make Greased Watermelon and Olympic sport.
Craig: (Laughing) You guys actually tried that.
Sam: We were dumb kids back then. Cut us some slack. Anyway, this is going to be the best Senior Trip ever!
(Just then, the chaperones, Principal Jeffrey Stevens, Mr. Doug Testaburger, Mr. Alex Slave, Mr. Jeremy Brewster, and two other female teachers leave the school, load their luggage on the bus and began to board)
Jeffrey: Okay, everbody on the bus! It's time to hit the beach! Please enter the bus in an orderly fashion so that we can…
(Before he can finish his sentence, the members of the senior class that weren't already on the bus quickly board it, trampling Jeffrey in the process)
Jeffrey: Gah! Ouch! This is not orderly! (As the last of the senior class board the bus and find a seat, Bebe picks her father up from the ground and brushes him off) Thanks, Bebe, you're the best daughter a father could ask for.
Bebe: (Smiles and gives her father the peace sign as the two of them board the bus and it takes off for Venice Beach)
(Sometime after the bus passes through the Utah border, we take a peek at our heroes and their classmates. Some of them are catching up on lost sleep, some of them are occupying their time by reading, playing on their phones, or just talking to each other, and others are just looking out the window. We first look in on Francis Fitzgerald who is watching some footage of when the South Park Saints took on Paris Hilton, Dimitri Molarski, and took down the Gigas Fly Traps in Denver among other clips of them. The likes of Jimmy Valmer, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter, and Nichole Daniels decide to ask Francis what he's up to)
(Francis is wearing a brown military patterned military patrol cap on his head. He also has a brown Snacky Smores letterman jacket with the mascot sewed on the back. He's also wearing black jeans and brown shoes)
(Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter has her long blonde hair tied in braided twintails. She's wearing a pink sweatshirt hoodie, blue jean shorts, and white shoes with socks reach below her knees)
(Jimmy Valmer still has unkempt brown hair, and is still holding his trusty crutches. He's wearing a white sweater vest over a yellow dress shirt and he has black dress pants with brown shoes)
(Nichole Daniels has her hair tied in a ponytail and is wearing a light blue leather jacket over a white shirt, red pants and a pair of black heels)
Jimmy: Hey Francis, Wha-W-Wha-What do you have here?
Francis: (Gets nervous) Oh, uh nothing. It's a surprise!
Nichole: It looked like you were watching footage of Sam and his friends kicking ass and taking names.
Jimmy: Yeah. Are you some kind of raging South Park Saint super fan?
Francis: No! (The three teens look at him with stern looks) Okay maybe a little bit. I mean, why shouldn't I be? Sam and the rest of those guys have done so much for us and expect next to nothing in return. So as a reward for all of their good services, I've been following them around and recording them whenever I can to catch them in the middle of whatever deed they're performing.
Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: How exactly is recording them in almost stalker fashion a reward to them?
Francis: Well, I was keeping this a secret, but I'm trying to put together a documentary film that I can show at the Sundance Film Festival next year. I figured this would be a good way to kickstart my film career.
Jimmy: A d-documentary film! That's badass, Francis.
Francis: I'm really glad you think so. Hey, listen. I was thinking about interviewing some of the Saints' closest friends and family as part of my video. Are you three interested? (His statement gets the three teens excited)
Nichole: You want us in your documentary. Hell yeah I want in!
Jimmy: M-Me too!
Francis: Great! (Turns to Kelly P.T) How about you, Kelly. I know Sam saved you from Justin all those years ago, It'd be great to hear your story.
Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: (Face drops upon hearing Justin's name mentioned) Uh…sure. That sounds fine.
Francis: Kelly, what's wrong?
Nichole: Yeah, you were excited a minute ago. Now you're….well…not.
Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: It's just that I really don't like it when someone mentions…that name.
Jimmy: What? S-S-Sam?
Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: No, the other one.
Jimmy: What other-(Gets nudged by Nichole and starts to get it) Oh…oh….oh! I'm sorry Kelly.
Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter: It's fine. (Quickly perks back up) But hey, I didn't mean to ruin everybody's good time. I'd love to be interviewed by you Francis. (Looks out the window) So, when are we getting to Venice Beach anyway? (Francis, Jimmy, and Nichole look a little worried)
(We cut to later in the trip, where in another part of the bus, Maria and Apollo are sitting together. Apollo is looking out the window, still thinking about what Noah said to him last episode)
Noah: (His voice plays back in Apollo's head) You want the real key to happiness? Join our cause in reviving Damien. With the world in a state of utter disrepair, wouldn't you like to play a major role in creating a better, more perfect world? It'll be a great way of reclaiming your former glory.
Maria: Hey Apollo, how about we play a game. It's called "Guess the Car." You pretty much guess what color the next car that passes you has. It's simple, watch. I say the next car that passes us will be…blue. Okay Apollo guess.
Apollo: (Still looking out the window) Black.
Maria: Alright let's see. (Looks out the window with Apollo and sees the next car to pass is a black pick-up truck) Good guess, Apollo! That's one point for you! (Looks to see Apollo not excited) Okay, what's wrong?
Apollo: What do you mean?
Maria: You're acting all mopey. All month long since you joined you you've been nothing but happy. Now you're a Negative Nancy. Is everything okay?
(Suddenly, Mr. Brewster, the school psychiatrist comes out of the bus bathroom)
Mr. Brewster: Ah, hello Maria and Apollo. Are you all ready for some fun in the summer sun?
Maria: We sure are, Mr. Brewster.
Mr. Brewster: (Smiles) That's wonderful. (Looks at Apollo) Apollo, what's the matter? You look down. Last session we had, you said you were happy and you enjoyed having friends. Now you look worse than you did before.
Apollo: What's with everyone getting on my case?
Maria: No need to snap at us brother. We're just asking because we care about you.
Mr. Brewster: Yeah. I may be on vacation, but my ears aren't. I'm open for business as long as your heart is.
Apollo: Nothing is wrong. (Sigh) Look, when something is truly, deeply wrong, then I'll come to you two.
Mr. Brewster: (Unconvinced and worried) Well okay, if that's what you want. But like I said, if you need to talk to anybody, I'm right here. (He leaves and Maria looks back at Apollo)
Maria: Apollo? Did Noah say anything to you the other day? You really haven't been the same since then. (Apollo doesn't answer and Maria worries some more)
(It's at this point where we cut later in the trip again. The bus is driving through Las Vegas, and we cut to Kenny running throughout the bus, looking for the one who wrote the secret admirer letter)
Kenny: (Walks up to a girl with sunglasses) Hey, excuse me, did you happen to write anything today?
Sunglasses girl: I'm trying to sleep, go away, creep!
Kenny: (Leaves and walks up to a girl with short brown hair) Pardon me, have you written any kind of letter recently.
Short haired girl: (Holding up her fist) I'll write your obituary in your blood if you don't back away. I don't care if you're one of the South Park Saints! (Kenny runs away from her and winds up at an area where Butters, Annie, Kurt, Red, Stan, and Ursula are hanging out)
Kenny: Yikes, that girl has a bit of a temper, eh?
Stan: You're the one who's coming on too strong, dude. Try not to ask so many questions.
Kenny: How else am I supposed to find the one who wrote this letter?
Ursula: Sounds to me like I need to compare handwriting. Give the letter to me. I'll try and compare the handwriting of all the girls in our grade level whenever I get the chance to.
Kenny: Thanks Ursula. You're a good egg.
Ursula: (Places the note in her pocket) Hey, I'm a good friend to have.
Kurt: Speaking of potential love. (Turns to Stan) Do you still have intentions on asking Heidi out?
Stan: (Gets nervous) I…I don't know. I mean, she's a cute girl. But then I thought, what if she's not into me that way.
Kurt: You don't know until you ask. Besides, this beach trip is as good a time as any.
Annie: Also, didn't you say you had a present for her that you made at Sophocles' Lab?
Stan: Yeah. It's with my luggage right now. I figured it could help Heidi out in battle.
Ursula: Perfect. Ask her out when you give her the gift. Get her all warmed up so that it'll be easier for her to say yes to you.
Stan: (Nods his head)
Butters: (Looks out the window with much excitement) Oh boy, oh boy! I can't wait to get to the beach. I've never been to a beach before.
Red: Me neither, Butters.
Stan: I don't think a quarter of the people on this bus have been to the beach ever in their lives.
Annie: It's kind of hard for most of us to get to the beach given we live in the mountains, and Colorado is bordered by states without a coastal region. (Turns to Kurt) Kurty, you and your friends lived in Houston for a while. That's by the Gulf of Mexico, correct?
Kurt: It is, why?
Annie: Tell us what the beach was like. The smells, the sights, the sounds.
Kurt: Well, there's a lot of sand. It actually feels kind of nice on your feet, just watch out for any hermit crabs. Also try not to get any in your bodily crevices or if you're carrying things like backpacks or duffle bags. Sand is a pain in the ass to get rid of.
Annie: Uh-huh.
Kurt: But beyond that is the ocean. A beautiful vast environment home to many creatures, some peaceful and some horrendously violent. You'll never see a more perfect shade of blue than the ocean. The smell of salt water is almost intoxicating and the sound of the waves makes for perfect ASMR triggers. But the best part is when the sun or the moon shines just right, depending on the time of day you're looking at it, the ocean glimmers and sparkles like a beautiful jewel. I've only gone to the beach three times in my life, and I am beside myself with joy knowing I'll be returning to it. (Turns to Annie) I think you're going to love it at the beach, my sweet. And hopefully all of you will enjoy it as well. We should count ourselves lucky that we have the privilege of visiting a majestic ecosystem once again. May we take the memories of this potentially mesmerizing trip to the grave?
(Everyone is moved by Kurt's monologue, but Stan says…)
Stan: Take it easy dude, we're going to Venice Beach not British Virgin Isles.
Red: Yeah, speaking of which, how long does this trip last?
Butters: I think they said about five hours.
Red: Five hours…from South Park to Venice Beach.
Butters: Yup.
Red: Okay now I know this writer's fucking high! According to Google Maps, a trip from where we are to Venice Beach takes about 15 hours and 22 minutes. That's more than half a day. And this writer is telling us we can make the trip in 5 hours. Unless we were travelling at 200 mph, without any traffic, then maybe we could make it in that amount of time. The fact that this writer is stupid enough to believe we can make the trip in five goddamn hours is asinine! It's bullshit! Complete, utter, bullshit!
Ursula: My red delicious apple, please calm down. (Holds Red) It's just anime logic. Anime logic makes no sense, just calm down. Besides I think we know by now this writer is bat shit insane. Something like this is to be expected.
(Later in the trip…again, the bus is about to enter Los Angeles city limits. It's almost at Venice Beach! We cut to an area on the bus that has Sam, Wendy, Bridgette, Clyde, Craig, Heidi, Tweek, Token, Millie, and Bebe)
Millie: L.A! We're almost at the beach!
Craig: Get the sun tan lotion ready kiddies!
Clyde: (Stomach growls) Anybody know any good restaurants at the beach? I'm starting to get very hungry.
Heidi: My Uncle Ed own a bar & grill somewhere on the beach. We can eat there. Maybe I can even ask if he can leave the place open for us after closing time.
Token: As long as he has good food.
Heidi: Trust me, he's an amazing cook. He is the ultimate grill master. Don't believe me, just ask Bebe. She came over one time when Uncle Ed was visiting. Go on, Bebe, tell them. (Turns to Bebe and sees that she's taking some kind of pill, chasing it down with some water afterwards) OH MY GOD YOU'RE ON DRUGS!
Bebe: What!? No I'm not!
Heidi: Where's my newspaper? I need to bop this lass on the nose!
Clyde: Newspaper? What is this, 1958?
Heidi: Someone needs to teach Bebe a lesson before she destroys her body!
Bebe: (Covers her mouth) Heidi, calm the fuck down! You're acting crazy right now.
CHOMP!
Bebe: OWWWW! (Heidi has bitten Bebe's palm to release herself from her grip) Is this how we're starting our vacation off?! Really?!
Heidi: Yes it is! Anyway, if it's not drugs then what is it?
Bebe: (Sigh) Okay, you guys want the truth, here it is: What I ate was a birth control pill.
Sam: Birth control pills? Are you and Cody actually boinking?
Bebe: No…at least not yet. It's just that Cody and I have been dating for about eight years now, and I think it's high time that we take things to the next level. So that's why I'm taking these pills, so when the time is right I'm prepared.
Tweek: Does Cody know you want to go all the way with him?
Bebe: I don't know. I want to say he's thinking it whenever we're alone, and we do talk about it from time to time. You know, all the scenarios that would play out and how it would feel. I just haven't had the guts to ask him afraid he thinks I'm rushing things.
Wendy: Rushing things? You said it yourself, Bebe, you two have been dating for eight years. I'm honestly surprised you two aren't married yet!
Heidi: Besides, if you're as sexually active as you are, chances are Cody is too. I hope you two use this vacation as an opportunity to let off some sexual tension. You said he was coming down to Venice Beach too, right?
Bebe: Yeah.
Sam: Well my advice is don't make him have sex with you if he's not ready. If anything, he should be worrying about this more than you since the man. If Cody, or any man for that matter, is a real charmer and not like a certain former Houston Five member whose name rhymes with Crustin, he's want the first time to be special, emotional, a bond forged with nothing but the love you two have for one another. So in short, let Cody make the first move and respond accordingly.
Bebe: Okay. I just hope this happens soon. My libido kind of skyrocketed since my 17th birthday. When Chef said all those years ago that we'd be ready once we reached 17…he wasn't kidding. Seriously, by quick show of hands how many of you have jacked or jilled off since your respective 17th birthday (She raises her hand, and not surprisingly, the other nine teens with her raise their hand) Good to know I'm not the only one.
(At long last, the bus arrives at Venice Beach)
Jeffrey: Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Venice Beach!
(All of the senior class cheered with joy, having finally arrived at their destination. The bus drives through the down, and everyone looks out the window to see all of the shops and businesses in the town. Next, they drive along the beach, where they find loads of people just hanging out on the beach swimming, jogging, playing volleyball, flying kites, etc. They also take a quick look at the boardwalk and all of the fun games and rides they have. After seeing this, they finally arrive at the hotel: Viceroy Santa Monica. Upon arriving to the hotel, the senior class and chaperones leave the bus and enter the lobby. Once inside the hotel, our heroes find the likes of Cody, Sophocles, Leon, Mephesto, and Terrance Mephesto waiting for them)
(Terrance Mephesto is wearing a short sleeved purple and yellow striped polo shirt, brown pants, and brown dress shoes. He also has a silver wrist watch on his left wrist, black framed sunglasses on his eyes, and a beige fedora hat on his head)
Terrance M: (Under his breath) At long last, the simpletons have arrived.
Mephesto: (Nudges him) Terrance, be nice!
Sophocles: Well hello, South Park High School Class of 2025!
Leon: What up, dude!
Cody: Hello again, my friends. (He hugs Bebe) How was the trip down, love?
Bebe: Not bad, not a lot of traffic. All in all, pretty satisfactory journey.
Cody: Wonderful.
Jeffrey: Okay everyone, this is the Viceroy Santa Monica Hotel. This is where we'll be staying over the weekend. You and the other three bunk mates that you've chosen will grab your room key and head to your designated room. You are responsible for your own room key. Other than that, enjoy yourselves. You're all on vacation! Do whatever you feel!
Doug: So long as it's legal!
(All eyes are on the blue hat kid, Brimmy, who is holding a bong)
Brimmy: What? Why is everybody looking at me?
Jeffrey: Right. Anyway, everybody have a good time. If you have any questions, just look for one of us. Checkout is Monday 10:00 A.M. If I don't see any of you during this vacation, then I'll see you then. Once again, have fun, you've all worked hard this year and you all deserve every last bit of this. Enjoy! (He leaves, and Doug, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, Mephesto, and Leon follow)
Leon: Come on dudes, let's hit the beach!
Sophocles: Oh yeah!
Mephesto: Count me in.
Terrance M.: Wait for me, father!
Mephesto: Sorry, Terrance, you know the rules. This is daddy's special guy time. Why don't you hang out with those kids over there?
Terrance M.: What?! Those idiots?! I might as well join South Park Community College right now!
Mephesto: Terrance, this'll be good for you. Besides, you need to learn how to make friends. I'm not going to be around forever. (Walks away) Who knows, maybe you'll like it.
(Terrance M groans at looks to see the class has dispersed. The only ones left are our heroes, Francis, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter, Jason, Bradley, Esther, and Bridon)
Terrance M: (Sigh) It's come to this. (He walks up to the group of teens) Hey.
Token: Hey, you're Mephesto's son, right.
Terrance M: That's right. Look, my dad went off on his own and he says I need to make some friends. And since you guys are already here…do you want to hang out or something?
Wendy: Heh? Terrance Mephesto actually wanting to hang out with us?
Cartman: Yeah, the world must be ending.
Terrance M: Look do you guys want me to hang out with you or not?
Cody: Sure. We'd love to have you, Terrance, old sport.
Lola: WAIT FOR ME! (Comes running towards them and ends up falling on her face)
(Lola is wearing a green sweater, a black shawl, blue pants, and black shoes. Her brown hair is still long and still held by a black plastic headband)
Kenny: Oh my gosh! Lola, are you okay? (Picks her up and helps dust her off)
Lola: Yeah. I-I'm fine. Thanks Kenny.
Tweek: So where's the fire Lola?
Millie: Yeah, what's with all the running?
Lola: (Blushes in embarrassment) Well I, uh…Thought you were all going somewhere and I didn't want to be left alone. I think everybody else is off doing their own thing and you lot were the only ones still here. So, whatever you plan on doing…can I tag along?
Sam: I don't see why not.
Stan: Come on dude, there's enough people here.
Sam: I'm pretty sure the writer wants to give everybody, even minor background characters a part to play.
Kyle: That is a good point, I mean why else would Bridon or Kelly PT be here?
Sam: Anyway, with Lola joining us that makes a good 31 people in our group. And with that, I have to ask…who's ready to hit the beach, baby!
(The other 30 teens cheer with excitement)
Sam: That's what I thought. Suit up everybody!
(Everybody heads to their rooms to change into their swimsuits, but Kurt goes the other way)
Kurt: I'm gonna get the grease and the watermelon, and we're gonna play some Greased…
Annie: NO!
Bridgette: Save it for later, Kurt!
Kurt: (Follows the rest of his group) Well, I tried.
(See you all next time when Sam and his merry band of 30 teens hits the beach)
TO BE CONTINUED…