ABLE NOVEMBER: This is likely to be the last chapter for a while. It's nearly my birthday (next Sunday actually) and I'm starting to pack for my second year at college so I'll be focusing on making sure everything here at home is tied up in a neat little bow. While I'd like to think that I'll be doing a fair bit of writing I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. So for those in my situation and those still in grade school, ganbante! (do your best!) and good luck with the new year.

But you and I we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now
The hour's getting late.

Chapter 18

A Midsummer Night's Stroll

Sonja and Markus had walked nearly two kilometers before stopping in a grassy field at the base of one of Rannoch's cliffs. They walked at a leisurely pace so the sun had already set by the time they stopped, though a word hadn't been spoken between them since.

"You've been quiet." Sonja said sitting down on a rock a few feet from the base of the cliff.

"So have you." He sat down on the rock beside her, both looking at the starry sky.

"Isabella didn't say how long you have. You know?"

"Chakwas said it was hard to estimate, but her best guess is thirty, thirty-five years."

"Why haven't you told Tali? The real reason."

He looked up to the sky and avoided the question. "When was the last time we just sat out under the stars? No mission, no orders."

She indulged him, but didn't plan to let him avoid it forever. "I think I was around fourteen, so you would have been seven. Geez. That was a camping trip with everyone on Benning. As I recall, Amanda got a nasty case of poison ivy."

"But it was a good week. During the day we'd go fishing with dad, hunt with mom or just sit on the grass and soak up the sun." His eyes were wide with nostalgia. As an active military family it was difficult for both parents to be stationed together let alone get shore leave at the same time.

"You remember how you tried to go all 'Karate Kid' while you and dad were on the boat?" He said breaking into small fits of laughter.

She couldn't help but grin at the memory. It was one of her favorites as well. "And then he rocked the boat sending me into the freezing water, yeah I remember. It took most of the day to dry out again."

"You know I haven't thought about that vacation in literally years. Mostly it's..." His voice simply died not wanting to admit where the back of his mind ended up going.

"The war?" She ventured. It wasn't hard to guess. The rate of PTSD for the surviving soldiers was over 45%. Even more so for those who those who were on Earth at the end.

"Just two things." His head slunk back down to look at the ground. "That dream and when I died."

"While Cerberus brought you out of a two year coma?"

"No. When Cerberus put me back together piece by piece." He never admitted to anyone but there hadn't been much time to talk after he found out. "When they hauled me in I was brain dead, my organs turned to jelly and bones little more than shattered kindling. I was dead as you could get. Ten kilometers down with a ruptured O2 valve slamming into a frozen rock.

"I still remember feeling the heat as I started tearing through the atmosphere. God it hurt." He closed his eyes remembering the searing pain. The heat from planetary entry temporarily providing a relief from the coldness of deep space before it began his skin began to boil. He still didn't know if he passed out from the pain or lack of oxygen. A tear made it past rolling down his eyes as he recalled what happened.

"It's over Markus." She said rubbing his back. "It's all in the past. You still made it. Nobody cares how. Not me, not mom or Garrus or Izzie or Tali. You're still standing Markus." She reassured him.

"Then why do I feel like I'm still falling from orbit? Lost without any way to steady myself."

"I believe that's known as 'cold feet'. It's pretty common among men and even the occasional woman."

"Will it go away? I mean ever?"

She sighed through her nose before answering. "I just don't know. You'd have to talk with someone who went through what you did for a good answer. All I can say is, if you ever want to talk I'll do what I can."

"Thank you. I take it you want to know why I haven't told Tali."

"I'll admit, I've been wondering what the answer to that is."

"I guess a list might explain it best: Akuze, Alchera, Earth, it just goes on. The list of times I should have died but someone, something," He corrected. "decided to spare me. And now there's this. If I don't tell her about it I don't have to face it myself."

She gave him a light smack in the head. "You'll have to deal with it in thirty years or so anyways." She turned back to being serious. "You've done the stupid thing a lot. There was enlisting in the navy, the trouble that you and Alex got into on the Mekong, that incident on Shanxi. Honestly, I'm surprised the military even took you in let alone let you become an officer."

"Way to make me feel better."

"I'm not done so shut up and listen to your older sister. Through it all you've always gone with what your conscious told you was right. So don't listen to anyone else. Not even me."

He gave a slight 'you're right hmph' at her answer. It was the first time since the Crucible anyone had openly said that he should do what feels right by him. And of course it would have to be his sister who said it.

He sat there for a few minutes in silence. She knew he was arguing with himself and didn't want to distract him. Her mind was elsewhere as it was, though not as intensely.

Finally he stood up and began walking back to the ship.

"Hold up Markus." He turned to see his sister laying on the grass. "You were right. It's been too long since we did this." It took him a second longer than he cared to admit as to what it was she was doing: just looking at the stars.

"Yeah. You're right." He joined her on the blue-green grass.

"You know the worst part of being in our generation?" She asked.

"Uh, piss-poor investment opportunities?"

"Well that too. But the thing is, when they were young, they got to look up at the sky and dream about what was out there. Us? We already knew. I mean, I'm at the tail end of it. I was ten when Shanxi was invaded. The galaxy seems a little smaller when you know all the answers doesn't it?"

"Heh. You sound a lot like Kaidan. He was so full of energy."

"If you're going down memory lane, I'm gonna need a beer. Or ten."

"Hey. What happens on leave, stays on leave."

"Sure sure. I'm just pretty certain though what you did could have been construed as espionage against the Asari."

"Yeah yeah yeah."

They laid in silence once more for a few more minutes before Markus got up.

"We better be getting back." He explained. "Tali's probably worried about us."

"You gonna tell her?"

"...Yes. She has a right to know. There is one thing I would like to know. Why haven't you ever told me to ask Mandy or Izzie when I've had a problem?"

"It's pretty simple actually. I see a lot of myself in you. And I like me. Therefore, helping you is like helping me. I'm narcissistic that way." They both laughed the rest of the way back to the Normandy.

ABLE NOVEMBER: Hi everyone! First off, thank you so much for the follows. I never planned on this story getting this long. It was only meant to be a one-off set years later from where it is currently. As it formed in my head it got longer and longer. I wished to tell you this as the number of views is closing on 10,000. Thank you!

But here's the "fun" part. I'm stuck. I need to be able to think a few chapters ahead but I'm dead stuck on what to do for Tali and Markus' wedding. I want it to be a mix of Quarian and Human customs, but I have NO IDEA what to do for the Quarian side. If you have any thoughts of your own or something you've read from another story (please include title and author if the latter is the case) please PM me with the subject header tRH wedding thoughts. I look forward to seeing what you have to say.