Chapter 6: Longing

A/N: Thank you all for your amazing reviews! You are all so thoughtful and invested and I love that! Truly, you all make my day and have really helped me get over my nervousness of posting again. As a reminder, I am taking liberties with the order of things here, but hopefully it all makes sense in the end. Enjoy! Xo

~o0o~

Tommy's plan had worked. All of Small Heath had converged onto Watery Lane and laid their dusty pictures of the King at his feet. And he set them all on fire. It got the new Chief Inspector's attention, just as he wanted. He had tea scheduled with the man tomorrow and the Birmingham Evening Dispatch had come and gone, interviewing Tommy about what was happening. He told the truth – or part of it –that he was a war hero and that the city was displeased with its current state. Nothing more, nothing less. They had a right to protest.

Yes, it had worked out exactly as he intended. And now his brothers were off at the Garrison getting drunk and he was standing, hands in his pockets, in front of the raging bonfire, staring. He couldn't stop staring at her.

Sophie stood next to Ada half a dozen meters away from him. Her coat, one of Ada's that he recognized, was open at the front and she was wearing one of her prim, sweet, pale lavender dresses from London. She was lightness against everyone around her covered in dirt and musty tweed. Her large eyes watched the fire dance and he watched her, not understanding why she was beginning to consume most of his thoughts. He wanted to talk to her, ask her how she felt, touch her unbelievably pale skin. He wanted to yell at her, put her on the next train to London and forget she was ever here, at no fault of her own - simply because he felt he was going mad and it had all started when she showed back up in his life.

Tommy sighed and gazed back into the flames, contemplating his next move. The thought of going to Lizzie briefly crossed him mind as did the thought of going to the Garrison to join his brothers and have that pretty barmaid pour him a drink. The option he chose scared him more than it should have.

"Walk with me, Sophie."

It wasn't a question and the girl seemed startled when he appeared before them.

"Oh, hello Ada, how are you doing, Ada?" his sister crossed her arms and dug at him for his bluntness. He wanted to laugh but all that crossed his lips was a smirk.

"Ada, I was talking to Sophie. Go home." His piercing eyes turned straight towards his sister, telling her that in no uncertain terms was she forgiven for not being around. Ada gently touched Sophie's arm before huffing and walking away. The gesture wasn't lost on Tommy. Clearly, they had moved past whatever had divided them.

"I think I'll stay here and watch the fire." Sophie finally spoke and once again Tommy was both annoyed and the tiniest bit proud at her stubbornness.

"There's something I want to show you and I think you'll like it better than this."

With only a nod, Sophie agreed. He offered her his arm as they began to walk but she kept hers in the pockets of her borrowed coat and the silence ate at them as they walked down the cobbled lanes towards the edge of Small Heath. Tommy found himself at a loss for words, simply because wanted to say too much to her. Sophie was in the same position, but only because she couldn't believe how different this felt than the times she and him would walk around the city together when they were younger.

"How's Ada?" Tommy started, clearing his throat.

"She's fine." Sophie countered, a little too quickly. The two girls had spent the afternoon together re-acquainting themselves. It was remarkable how those walls came down and soon they were the two little princesses of Small Heath again, wrapped tightly in each other's confidence. Sophie wasn't about to jeopardize that by divulging too much.

"Where did you find her?"

"In the lane. She was just taking a walk."

"Was she with a boy?"

"There was no boy, Tommy."

"There's always a boy with Ada."

Sophie reveled in her secret. If only Tommy knew that boy was Freddie Thorne. If only he knew that things weren't as different as they were six years ago. Since she had stepped back into Small Heath, it was clear Tommy was in charge – that he knew everything. But he didn't. There was so much he was missing that she could see and he couldn't.

They walked through his Uncle Charlie's shipping yard to the stables, and Tommy gently opened the door and led Sophie to the very last stall. She gasped in delight and that little noise was worth everything to him.

"She's beautiful!" Sophie's eyes lit up when she saw the white filly in the stall. She gently reached out and touched the horse, marveling at the flawless coat and the blue eyes. They were as crystal clear and striking as Tommy's.

"I don't have a name for her yet." Tommy watched and leaned against the wall of the stall. When they were younger, Sophie had been fascinated by horses and she hadn't lost that. John had told him a few times through the years that she was learning to ride at school. It wasn't of much consequence to Tommy then, but now he found himself wanting to create reasons for Sophie to be happy here.

Sophie ran her hand over the shoulder of the horse and she responded with soft whinny. "Are you going to race her?"

"She needs training, but yes." Tommy started a war with the Lee family for this horse and watching Sophie with her made it worth whatever fallout would come. "John told me you know how to ride."

Sophie stopped and looked at Tommy. He had the barest hint of a smile on his face and it made her stomach flutter for reasons she couldn't articulate. She could count on one hand the number of times she had seen him smile since she had been back in town, "I'm decent, but nothing more."

"I think you could help me though, with her. Take her out so she doesn't get footsore. Maybe we could call her the Princess of Small Heath." Tommy suggested and stepped away from the wall towards the horse. He placed his hand on her muzzle as he stood next to Sophie. He could smell the sweetness of her mixed with the rawness of the hay beneath their feet.

"That's what you used to call Ada when we were younger."

"I used to call you that too. Small Heath is big enough for two princesses."

"Three, if you count her," Sophie gave the newly christened horse a light pat. It was nice to feel that maybe not everything that once connected them was gone. He seemed to still remember.

"Then it's settled." Tommy's voice regained the gruffness Sophie had grown used to. This time when he offered her his arm on the walk back to Watery Lane, she took it and he wished she hadn't.

There she was, her left side pressed against his right as they walked in the night, with almost a foot of difference between their heights. Embarrassment niggled at him when he thought of how he had almost kissed her in the stables and she thought of him, at best, as a friend – but mostly as an older brother of sorts and maybe at worst, her boss. He said goodnight to her when he left her on the doorstep of her new home and continued on by himself. He needed to hear that barmaid sing.

~o0o~

"Can I go out and play with Finn?" George looked up at Sophie and asked in his sweetest voice. He looked just like his father with his round cheeks and high forehead. Since it was Saturday, Sophie's day devoted entirely to John's children, she had taken over the main living room with them and their toys. She felt that their nursery was often too small to play in and now she was dressing dolls with Emma and Mary and Henry was happy with his blocks. Pushing six years old, George was often restless for something new and did not want to sit and be forced into imaginary games.

"Yes, but just right outside where I can see you." Sophie pointed to the narrow strip of street where she wanted him to be. She was able to see it if they kept the door open and the weather was nice enough today to do so. George gave her a kiss on the cheek and ran outside to play stickball with his cousin. In such a short time, they had become family and it made Sophie feel content. Her life was different than what she imagined it would be, but each day she felt better about the decision she made to stay.

"Soph, you play with her." Mary handed a doll to Sophie so they could continue their game. The children used her nickname as an endearment when they head their father use it and Sophie loved it. A few short months ago the thought of being a mother had never crossed her mind. But now, here she was – somewhat of a surrogate mum to these four children while still in the December of her own childhood.

"Ah….there's my girls and my baby boy!" John's happy voice filled the room as he walked in from the betting den. There was a race that afternoon and it was clear he had been working hard taking bets as his shirtsleeves were rolled up and his jacket was off. Sophie knew there would be plenty of work for her tomorrow to sort out the wins and losses.

"Dada!" Henry giggle when his father picked him up and hugged him. Emma and Mary showed him the new dresses on their dolls. Even though he could cut a man to shreds, he was a good father.

"Soph, I want to tell ya somethin'," John said as he sat down on the couch and Sophie lifted herself from her cross-legged position on the floor and joined him. The glint in his eye told her it was happy news. "I'm in love with someone, Soph, and I want to marry her."

His whispered news didn't draw any attention from the children, but Sophie was shocked. "Who is she? How long have you known her?" Sophie didn't know much about love, but she guessed it took longer than a few weeks to fall into it.

"I've known her a while and she's a good woman." John could see the skepticism on her face and was quick to try and convince her and the tightness in his voice suggested he was maybe trying to convince himself but she didn't know why he would need to.

"What about the children…" Sophie couldn't articulate it fully, but she didn't want to give up the bond that was just beginning with them. If her purpose for coming to Small Heath was them, then where did this put her? John took her hands in his.

"I'm not going to tell you to go, Soph. I've loved having you here more than anything. It feels right. It feels like family. Lizzie will be like their mum and you can be their older sister. Nothing is going to change. You have your job with us now and this will give you more time to do what you want to do. And for fuck's sake I want more kids. I want a whole fucking brood of them and you and I can't manage that on our own, now can we?" John looked her in the eye and she saw a man in love again, but also a man that needed help. More help than she could give. She felt a bit useless, but who was she to tell him not to do it? He had lost his first love and he deserved another shot at happiness.

"Can I meet Lizzie…you know, if we are all going to live together?" Sophie asked and John nodded. He promised they would meet right away. He was going to ask her to marry him just as soon as he spoke to the rest of the family. He told Sophie that they had already talked about it and Lizzie felt the exact same way. Sophie gave him a hug and then slid back onto the floor to continue the doll tea party with the twins.

"To celebrate, we are going to the Garrison tonight, and you are coming too. Arthur and I won't take no for an answer! Especially not when I tell him this!" John called out over his shoulder before getting back to work and Sophie just laughed and shook her head.

~o0o~

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Sophie leaned closer to Ada after she ordered a beer at the bar. The Garrison was fuller than usual for a Saturday night, partially because of the races that afternoon, but mostly because of the new barmaid. It was easy to see how pretty she was and how differently she carried herself from the other girls in Small Heath. Sophie hoped to talk to her later. She reminded her of herself: a little out of place.

"It's just mild, Sophie. It won't hurt the baby. And if I don't go back to the table with a drink in my hand, they'll know something is wrong. Here…" Ada handed Sophie a beer and the two girls made their way back to the small, inset booth reserved from the Blinders. Arthur, John, Scudboat, Lovelock, Nipper, and Henry were there already and halfway through a second bottle of whisky between them all. Ashtrays and highball glasses littered the table and Sophie slid into the booth next to Henry.

"You look like an angel tonight, Sophie," Henry complimented her, but his words were slightly slurred. Sophie found him cute. He was closer to her age than the other Blinders and had a boyish smile and dark curls. She gave him a smile and touched her glass to his.

"John boy is gettin' married!" Arthur lolled his head back and whooped it to the ceiling before catching his brother into an affectionate headlock.

"Fuck off Arthur, come on…" John's smile crept up the left side of his face and his cheeks were pinched pink from booze and embarrassment.

"Married? To who?" Ada nearly spat her beer back out into the glass and Arthur and the rest of the boys laughed.

"That's why we are celebratin', little sister! John is going to ask Lizzie Stark for her hand in marriage!" Arthur raised his glass for a toast and Sophie watched her friend's eyes widen.

"Does Tommy know? Polly?" Ada continued, looking concerned.

"Ada, stop askin' fucking questions!" Arthur playfully ribbed his sister and she leaned back into her chair and tucked into her beer after rolling her eyes. Nipper poured another round of whisky for the boys and Sophie found that once again, just a half glass of mild quickly went to her inexperienced head. She felt warm and happy sitting by Henry and leaned into his compliments readily as the night deepened and the laughter and alcohol flowed freely.

From the bar, Grace Burgess watched the Shelby family. She felt that she wasn't getting anywhere with them, especially not with their leader, Tommy. She had been specifically tasked by Chief Inspector Campbell to integrate herself into Small Heath and find out what she could about the Shelby's and their dealings. He was particularly interested in the whereabouts of the stolen government weapons and any Communist happenings, and she wasn't proving useful to him with any of it, as he was making himself very clear to her in their weekly meetings. She knew he had met with Tommy earlier this week, but the one night he had come into the bar, he had watched her sing and left before she could think up a reason to speak to him.

So far, all she knew was that Arthur and John Shelby loved to drink, the sister, Ada, had a boyfriend who was a Communist, and the other girl that was always with them was some sort of relative from London. That girl seemed sweet, and also the most likely to be manipulated. As far as Grace could tell, she might be her only hope of getting some answers.

Grace was pouring some rum for the next customer when Tommy walked into the Garrison. He was an interesting man to try and read, and tonight, all she had to do was watch him for a moment for it to all fall into place for her.

Tommy parked himself at the other end of the bar, by Harry, who quickly poured his best patron a glass of dark rum. Grace watched his face as his sharp blue eyes moved across the room and locked onto the young girl she had just been thinking about, who currently had the arm of one of the Blinders around her and was laughing. Campbell had wanted Grace, in no uncertain terms, to use her looks and charm to worm her way into Tommy Shelby's bed. But yet, she'd been here a few weeks and he had barely looked her over. As Grace watched Tommy's jaw lock from watching the table at the far side of the room, it started to all make sense. That girl was who he wanted. That girl was who she needed to befriend.