Merry Chritsmas, New year, and Holy Kings, hope you are having fun and getting presents, as my present here you have a new chapter for your pleasure.
"And since we have no place to go
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow."
-Prayer dedicated to Kaliarte.
Law didn't understand what was happening to him. His head was a mess, his feelings were pounding against the barriers he had raised to contain them, and he was close to the breaking point. Everything was wrong, he had reached a point he had not reached before.
The kiss shouldn't have affected him, to see Kidd hugging someone else should have been indifferent to him, but again, the weather god seemed to have some way of getting under his skin and arouse feelings that, after all these years, shouldn't exist. The throbbing pain of betrayal was something Law already knew, and that he had felt a thousand times before in the mortal world, but oddly, this time was hurting more than it should.
'Why? Why does this hurt more? Why with him?'
Kidd had tried to use him, and he would have managed it if Law had not stopped him that time with that first kiss in the room. Now though, that Kidd had seen that his attempts with Law were not going to get anywhere, the redhead had simply decided to go back to his old lover. Easy, understandable, predictable. The better option for all parties involved. Law had known from the beginning that this would happen, that the other couldn't really feel anything for him, that Law was only a whim for him, a new toy, a mortal. Law had been prepared for the rejection. However, Law still had this horrible urge to scream, to break something or someone and ... to cry.
'Pathetic'
He had lowered his barriers without even realizing it. Again, his mind, eager for the slightest form of affection, had tricked him again. Law had thought he had seen something in Kidd, a minimal appreciation, something similar to love. When the redhead had looked depressed after Law's rejection of that mind-blowing kiss, Law had begun to feel akin to hope. What if the redhead was the one he had been waiting for? Someone who really loved him and cherished him?
Law had given Kidd time. He had even begun to think of an impossible future together. The mortal and the god. No more persecutions, no more fighting for his life, just him and the stupid god together under a sea of ice.
But that hope had once again been destroyed before it sprouted or Law could do anything to kill it himself. Law wanted to mentally beat himself for his stupidity. When would he ever learn? Why was he still looking for someone? Why did he keep lowering his barriers and trying to hold a smidge of hope? His fate had always been clear, Law had been born alone, and will die alone. It had always been like that and it would always be like that. No matter where he was, no matter with whom. It was better to be alone. Safer.
Sitting in the middle of the most beautiful room in the palace, Law lowered his last broken barriers and let the feelings he had been repressing for years invade him. Loneliness, sadness, pain and the new old betrayal. Slowly he remembered why he had chosen this path and why he was here.
The strange room seemed to whisper around him trying to take the pain away.
This room felt different from the rest. It wasn't as immense as the library or the training rooms, but not as small as the rooms where they slept. It was simply a small greenhouse under a perfect glass dome. Plants of all kinds, and from all over the world, climbed the transparent walls or submerged their branches in the small pond full of fish in the centre of the room. Oaks, millenary chestnuts and weeping willows crowded the place. Roses, poison ivy and wild flowers filled the space and tried to survive in the shadows of the trees.
It was a cozy place, private and with an ancient air about it, as if centuries had passed since the garden had been built and no one had had the time to take care of it. The steps leading to the pond were broken by the roots of a small willow, the small circle of grass under the wooden sofa where Law sat was overrun with wildflowers, and the trees and plants had grown so large, that Law could barely see the glass facing the immensity of the ocean.
Even so, that wild nature -that eagerness to live from the plants enclosed under the sea in a glass dome- reminded him of who he was, and how and why he had come here. Life was cruel, hard and evil, but Law would never surrender. Not now. Not so close to getting his freedom.
Not for Eustass Kidd.
And, as if invoked from hell, the redhead entered the room right then, passing under the stones of the door, and panting heavily as if he had been running and looking for him. His golden eyes were shining brightly under the shadows of the huge trees, his red hair eclipsed the red hue of the roses on the walls and his mere presence seemed to illuminate the room.
He was truly a god.
Law ignored him. Law just kept staring motionlessly at the strange coloured fish swimming among the pond's water lilies, chasing each other. His fingers were crisscrossed, his elbows on his knees. He looked as if nothing had happened.
"We have to talk" the redhead said when he got to his side next to the sofa. His voice firm, his gaze was determined, his whole body confident and intimidating. He looked in control of the situation, capable, a general about to enter a war.
Law felt the anger warm his veins. Law was on a tiny edge preparing to fall, but Kidd was perfectly fine after what he had done. And again, that phrase, ordering him as if Law was no one. Again, those eyes, as if he could intimidate him into submission. Again, that disgusting feeling of betrayal.
'How could he have imagined this god cared for him? How stupid he could be?'
Rising from the chair with an odd numbness around him, Law began to walk towards the exit without giving Kidd even a look. "There's nothing to talk about" he said slowly. Everything was crystal clear.
Kidd, however, seemed not to notice his rage or his foul mood, and, with two long strides, he stepped between him and the door. Preventing Law from escaping once again, and take a moment of solitude to accept this new betrayal and redo the broken walls.
"Law, listen to me" the redhead started with an imposing tone, taking him by the shoulders as if he pretended to force him to listen what he had to say. "I'm sorry, Zoro's…thing was a mistake, I was stupid and did..."
Law, however, didn't want to listen him, he didn't need to, because only with those simple words and with that small lines, the hope had resurfaced. 'What if he had been wrong? What if that kiss wasn't what he had believed? What if Kidd really...?'
"Shut up" Law hissed with anger. He wouldn't fall again, he wouldn't be such an idiot. Slapping the other's hands off his shoulders, Law pushed the other away and walked to the door between the delicate flowers at his feet.
Unfortunately, Kidd wasn't finished.
"Law, I'm sorry. I just kissed Zoro to prove myself that it won't be the same as with you, I..."
Law's mind stopped thinking and his whole body froze a few steps away from the door.
For a moment, all Law could see was the kissing scene. Kidd embracing another person. Kidd kissing another person. As he had kissed him. Kidd enjoying it. Without stopping. Without giving him a simple look, a simple explanation or apology. Letting someone else touch him. Making him groan in...
A rage, fury and a jealousy that he had never felt or thought himself capable of, invaded Law.
Spinning around, Law headed to where Kidd was. With madness in his eyes, with a storm in his head, Law reached up and grabbed the other by the neck. Without delicacy or affection. Only a possessive and crude act of control.
And then, without giving Kidd the slightest chance, without even understanding what he was doing Law pulled the other closer. Forcing him to lower his head and shorten the distance separating them.
Law clashed their mouths together in a wrathful kiss.
'Mine'
For a second, Kidd seemed shocked by the suddenness of the kiss. Paralyzed. Astonished. However, in the time Law took to painfully bite his lip and press his mouth even firmer against Kidd's, the redhead got himself together and quickly opened his mouth, giving him access without the slightest doubt.
A strange satisfaction invaded Law with that small concession. With the total confidence of the other in him. With the absolute capitulation to him within seconds. For a while, Law only enjoyed the kiss and took everything he wanted from the other. He bit Kidd's tongue until the other bleed. He sucked Kidd's tongue into his mouth aggressively, pressing him to fight back and answer. He felt Kidd grunting in pain under his mouth, he tasted the other's blood in his lips, but still, the redhead didn't separate from Law's mouth, as if he also needed this punishment.
Law felt delighted in touching the god and in feeling his pure power and strength under his control. Letting Law harm him as he needed to do. In a messed-up payback. Law blissfully tasted the other, a mixture of metal and whiskey. Wild but powerful. Kidd in his purest form. For a moment, he forgot his rage, fury and pain and just let himself get carried away by the pleasure and the feeling of the other's firm lips under the his, known and kind despite what Law was doing to him.
However, when the redhead's hands began to caress his waist in a gesture that Law also knew very well -in a gesture that he had seen Kidd used with Zoro, that had made the sea god tremble- Law's mind exploded again.
He wasn't the green haired man, he wouldn't let Kidd use him as he pleased or allow him to lie and laugh at him as if Law was no one. Instead Law would use him. No feelings, no love, just unattached sex. It would help him get over his stupid crush and let his pathetic brain understand that Kidd also just wanted sex and nothing else. There wasn't a soul bond, they were not destined and therefore, the stupid feeling of betrayal was useless.
Pushing the other's hands off his body, Law entwined one leg with Kidd's and pushed him hard, making the redhead stumble and fall backwards to the flowery ground.
"Law?" Kidd's eyes were a mixture of hope, pain and confusion. A pain that Law recognized as the one inside him.
He ignored it.
Taking off the sweater that the other had given him the first day over his head and throwing it to the ground without the slightest care, Law knelt half naked with his knees on either side of Kidd's waist. Dangerously he loomed over him.
The flowers and herbs around them shivered, bright and delicate, however, Law could only think of how bright and intense the other's hair was, how pale his skin looked over the strong muscles, and how intense and deadly his eyes were. The god was perfect. Handsome and lethal. As all gods should be. Unreachable for someone like Law, a mere unknown mortal. Yet the other wanted him, and only a fool would let an opportunity like this slip, right? If Kidd wanted to use him, why couldn't Law do it too? The other was untouchable, but Law had him under him. He could touch such a being, make him groan, break the stupid rules, fight against the world that kept torturing him.
He obeyed no one. He was free.
Leaning over the god, Law ran a hand through the red hair of the other, delighting in its softness and the contrast between the scarlet red and the tan of his own skin. It felt like silk. The most delicate and soft thing he had ever touched. Gripping it, Law pulled at it harshly, forcing the other to dip his head back and expose his throat.
His hungry mouth quickly fell over the pale skin to taste it with desire, almost with greed, making Kidd hold his breath for a moment as if waiting for another attack. Law smiled with his own personal smugness. He had done this just a few times in his life, the trust required for sex was something he couldn't afford, but thank god, he had always learned quickly how to use that feeling of uneasse, and for a moment he gloated in Kidd's stillness.
"Law? Wha-what has gotten…" the voice of the other sounded deliciously hoarse, that's why when Law sank his teeth in his neck without mercy and Kidd moaned loud and uncontained, it felt even more erotic "Law! Shit. Fuck."
Law bit harder, marking, letting the other for a moment feel the rage that lingered in him. Exciting him at the same time with the dangerous foreplay. This time, when the other's hands found his hips again, Kidd grabbed him without the slightest delicacy, without the falsehood that he had used with Zoro. This time they grabbed him tightly before lowering down Law's body to squeeze his ass hard.
Lust and pleasure. Nothing else. No falsehood, no promises, nothing, only one using the other.
Law licked one last time the other's sore neck, before rolling his hips lazily to squeeze his trapped erection to Kidd's, making them both gasp. Despite the anger, despite the pain of the situation, both of them were more than aroused. The sexual tension had been there from the start and the release now was coming sooner than they had expected.
"This is what you wanted from the beginning, isn't it?" Law whispered low against the other's ear, rubbing the other's nipples over the clothes and making him rise his hips to thrust against Law's ones. 'Mine' Law rubbed his painfully hard cock against the god's one, feeling his blood boil, feeling a need, pleasure and anger that he had never felt before "Well, take it, fuck me as you want, and then leave me alone. Stop lying to me Kidd, stop pretending. It is no longer necessary" He said with the sweetest voice he could muster.
Rising again over the redhead while continuing to rub their erections together with a continuous wave of his hips, Law took the shirt of the other in his hands and without the slightest difficulty tore it in two, exposing the other's perfect chest. Sculptured muscles, perfect unbroken skin, hard planes waiting for his to touch.
Kidd however rose again on his elbows and grabbed at his wrist, trying to stop him for admiring Kidd's chest. For taking what was his.
"Law you know that's not true, I would never do something like that"
Law stopped still. For a moment, he refused to look him in the eyes and see the truth in them. The sincerity and hope that the other seemed to give off. Because if he did, he would again fall into the lies and stupid hopes. Into the other games, he would let the other use him and throw him away broken.
Instead, Law just lowered his head slowly and caught the other's nipple between his teeth in another painful kiss. Kidd stilled beneath him, gasped beautifully, and for a moment he relaxed the hand grasping Law's wrist letting Law lick at him.
"Law, damn it, wait, we have to…" Law however, lowered the hand now free to Kidd's bulging crotch, and squeezed his steel hard cock in an attempt to make him shut up.
Kidd arched of the ground, his body for a moment exposing himself to Law's eyes in one of the most erotic moments of his life. The marks Law was leaving didn't seem to be disappearing, and contrasted hotly against the pale skin. The erection of the other felt heavy and full in his hand. His breathing was accelerated and his eyes fighting against the pleasure that Law, and only Law, was giving him.
"Law, for ..." but Law just pressed himself even harder against Kidd, letting the other feel his arousal too, how desperate he also was to be fucked. When he buried his face in the other's exposed neck, spreading kisses over the red marks, rewarding him for being such a good lover, for shutting up, Kidd grunted darkly.
Kidd's muscles again spasmed under him, and he lifted his hips following Law's hand over his erection, slowly losing his control. Law couldn't help but smile victoriously. He got him. Kidd was about to surrender.
However, before he could do anything else, a gush of wind flooded the room and suddenly Law found himself under the redhead, his hands immobilized by the other on both sides of his head and their faces a few millimetres away. There were no longer flowers that hid them, they lay ripped out around them, there wasn't even the slightest sound in the room or in the world, as if suddenly intimidated by Kidd's power, and when snow began to fall in the place, it seemed colder than ever.
"Stop," Kidd said calmly, with his eyes shining with rage and a strange desperation. Law could practically feel the control in the other, his muscles tense, his body totally motionless and alert despite the situation.
Law just smiled, the fake smile that made people angry, the one that had a touch of madness and evilness. Then, without shame, he opened his legs even more, allowing the other between them, and raised his hips in an obscene manner presenting himself to the other, provoking him, breaking his control.
"Fuck me"
"No"
Law wanted to laugh. He wanted to scream, he wanted to hit Kidd with something. The other also wanted this, Law saw the bulge in the other's pants, had been touching it just a moment ago, Kidd was completely ready and eager for this. Then why had he stopped? What the hell happened to him now?!
"This is what you've wanted from the beginning"
"Not this way"
Law tilted his head to the side as if mocking the redhead.
"There is not going to be another way"
A spark of pain crossed the golden eyes of the god, and something dark stirred inside Law because of it. Shame. Pain. Law turned away from him. It had been his imagination. It wasn't real. He wouldn't fall again. When the redhead rested his head on his bare chest in surrender, Law wanted to scream.
"Is this what you really want? Nothing else Law?"
"Yes. Nothing else."
"…Alright" releasing his immobilized hands, Kidd took him by the hips and, lifting them, he tore off his pants as if Law didn't wear his boots or belt over them. The material only tearing itself apart, obeying the wishes of the god, splitting in half to leave him bared to Kidd.
Law was totally naked then, under the other, in the middle of the field of dead flowers, as he had wanted, as it had been his goal. Yet, his victory tasted bitter. Kidd seemed unable to look him in the eyes now, as if what he was doing made him ashamed of himself.
Law lay motionless, just watching him, only focusing on the impassive face of the other, as if Law had finally been able to break him. When Kidd deposited a chaste kiss on his neck with delicacy, affection and a strange respect, Law felt a lump in his throat. When the other continued to kiss him, the pectorals, the stomach, the navel, the hips, with the same sensitivity, with the same reverence and slowness, Law had to close his eyes to contain the tears.
'It was all a lie. It was all a lie. Then why did it hurt so much?'
When the redhead kissed his rock-hard cock at last, he felt his whole body, his very mind tremble. As if Kidd was also breaking him with his kindness. Kidd licked his cock lightly at first. Little nibs, little strokes of his tongue over the hot sensitive flesh, letting him get used to his touch before taking him fully in his smart mouth. Law sighed with pleasure, with sadness, and his hands flew involuntarily to clutch the other's hair in desperation.
Kidd engulfed him with need, until Law felt completely buried in the other's eager wet mouth. He sucked at him enthusiastically, carefully, lovingly, but with an obsession that seemed to increase as Law moaned louder and louder. Kidd lowered and raised his head over his hardness as if he could do this forever, until Law could only whimper and squirm under the other, needing to feel more, needing the other in a way that he couldn't even understand.
Boldly, Law could only open his legs even more and offer himself to the other, he whined when Kidd caressed his legs carefully, tracing his tattoos, his scars, every tiny part of his body as if trying to memorize him. Soon Kidd began to prepare him with skilled fingers, coordinating them with his ready mouth over his dick, making him forget the pain with the greatest pleasure that anyone had ever given him, and making the experience completely different from what Law had ever done.
And throughout the process Law kept asking why.
Why was he doing this? Why was the other treating him so delicately? Why was he so eager? Had Law not given him permission to do whatever he wanted? Why was he still doing this? Why did he not use him as others had done, as he had done so many times? Sex was sex, there was no room for softness.
Law felt the other's fingers caressing him in the most intimate way, preparing him thoroughly with the help of his wonderful mouth. Until Law felt his body on the verge of orgasm every time the redhead rammed his fingers inside him, until every time he withdrew Law felt such an emptiness he wanted to cry.
"Law" Kidd's voice however sounded broken, emotionless, like the first time Law had seen him. Like a frozen statue. Kidd was focused only on giving him pleasure, nothing else, there was just nothing else remaining.
"Fuck me" he ordered, hating it all, hating everything now "Now! I...I need…" he needed the other inside, he needed the pleasure to numb his mind, the sex to stop the hurt he felt inside. He grabbed at the other's shoulders desperately, his legs curling around the other's hips pushing him against his body. Needing Kidd inside him despite knowing that finishing this could break them both.
Kidd kissed his forehead.
"Shhh, I'm here"
Kidd entered him with a sharp thrust. No doubt, no holding back. Not anymore. As Law has asked. Law felt him groan adobe him, with a roughened voice full of passion and heat, and he felt his own body melting under the god. His limbs relaxing at the known sensation of someone filling him, of the other body looming over him, seeking both their pleasures. When the other suddenly moved his hips sharply, hitting his weak spot on the first move, Law moaned with a strange feeling of rightness and wrongness filling him. This was meant to be, but he was doing it wrong.
Law ignored it as he keep ignoring everything.
Law just focused on their connected bodies. On Kidd's hips moving back and forth wildly, trying to push deeper inside him. On the lewd sounds of flesh hitting flesh in passion. On his own shy moans and Kidd's low groans. On Kidd's huge cock inside him, on how despite his size Law could take him easily, as if Law had been born for him.
As if Kidd was his. For him.
Law grabbed the other's ass in a possessive gesture, pressing him more firmly into him as his legs opened even further. With satisfaction Law let the god fuck him raw, deeper, harder, as he needed. The grass under him scraped his back as Kidd slammed him into the ground with every move, his hips ached from the forced posture, Kidd seemed to be letting his own anger out, but Law didn't mind. The pleasure kept building, the heat increasing until the snow falling in the room evaporated before touching their bodies.
Law felt the pressure peeking in a knowing way, as the other moved above him in madness, as he grunted against his ear as in heat, as he lowered a hand to caress Law's cock trapped between their bodies never forgetting hiss pleasure. Law felt a warm emotion spread on his chest as he saw Kidd's muscles flexing over him, such rough power, such a great person, all focused on giving him, a mortal, the lower scum, pleasure. How the other felt like a shield protecting him of the evil world. Caring for him. Loving him.
But then Kidd looked at him.
The empty eyes, the pained expression, the rawness in the other golden irises. Law felt the dream shatter around him. He couldn't take this. Not like this.
"Stop" he said in a breathy voice "Stop!"
Kidd stopped in an instant. His expression turned even more pained, his eyes again looked away as if ashamed of what he was doing. Law couldn't take it.
Pushing the other back until Kidd fell on his back again, Law followed and sat over his hips, impaling himself with the other's cock in desperation. Taking the lead, the upper hand. With rage, with a strange need, he closed his eyes and started to fuck himself with the others dick as if his life depended on it. Up and down, deep and rough.
'It's all a lie. This is just sex'
Kidd grabbed his hips, trying to stop him, but he moaned as Law ignored him and just kept riding the other cock like an animal in heat. Just trying to forget those eyes, that expression. His own pain. It was a lie. A very good lie.
But it was impossible. When he opened his eyes again, Kidd laid under him in surrender, letting him do as Law pleased, his face a mix of pleasure and fear for him. Of love and pain.
"STOP IT" he screamed "STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!"
It was false. It was a lie. It wasn't true. Law closed his eyes, and let his hips fall roughly against the other's. He was there, he could taste the orgasm he just...
Kidd's arms circle his waist and pushed him against his chest like a lover cradling his crying partner.
"It's true. I love you, Law" he whispered against his ear, so low, so weak that Law barely heard it between their breaths "So much that it scares me"
It shattered him.
With a pained groan, Law felt the pleasure take over him, destroying his train of thoughts, destroying everything else in a mind shattering orgasm. Law felt the other's body tense under him, following him, as if connected, but his brain was too shocked to say anything, to do anything, and for a few seconds he just lay there, crumbled on top of the other.
Unmoving, trying to process what had happened, trying to understand everything. Trying to fight the pleasure and spasms his body kept having and trying just to move so he could run away from all this.
When he recovered, he found himself alone between the plants and the snow, curled warmly under one of Kidd's coats.
Kidd was nowhere to be seen.
Emotions swirled inside him. The memories, the words, his whole life and torture filled him. He had been wrong about the god. But he couldn't trust other people that way. It would kill him. He had been betrayed so many times that opening in that way to anyone, even more to a god like Kidd, was terrifying. So instead he had hurt him, he had broken the last opportunity he would ever have with someone, the last gift he had been given.
It was too much.
Curling under the coat, Law hid his face under the fur that smelled of metal and whiskey, and for the first time in decades he cried as he had never cried before.
To be true Law is dealing better with jealousy than Kidd will. I mean, Kidd would probably just kill anyone who looked at Law amorously. Law just went...possessive, using the old tactic of "If you sleep with anyone, you will do it with me too, asshole".
Also, well, trust is complicated.
So what will happen? Where is Kiddo? What does he think? what does he feel? what will he do? What about Law? Is he really that stupid? (yes, he is) What is he gona do to solve this mess? And the most important thing, what u think of the lemon?
Chan chan chan