Scarred Chapter 7

[This chapter is explicit! Please read at your own discretion]

"Fuck me, make me yours"

….

"Jiyong-ah.. are you sure?"

Doubt, fear, and regret filled the younger man 'was this rejection?' Surly not, he felt the electricity when they touched and the intensity in their kisses.

Pulling way, Jiyong attempted to hide the shame he felt at that moment dipping his head low and attempting to move away from this inevitable disaster. But he was stopped in his tracks by strong arms that held him in place.

"Jiyong-ah, please don't. I want to, but.." It's almost to hard for Jiyong to hear these next words, he'd made his move, showed Seung-Hyun what he wanted, what he needed and in his state he can't handle being pushed away by the man he needs the most.

"but what hyung?! You don't want me?! You said you loved me!" Hot tears now welled in his eyes as he began trying to accept what might be the lowest point in his life, even worse then attempting suicide and being found by the only person in the world he thought, could heal him.

"Ji.. I, I have to be sure.. I want to, more then you know but.. I can't take advantage of you like this, I love you too much and I.."

"Then take me! Make me forget everything! You said you'd help me, now I'm asking, and you won't?" those last few words came out barely a whisper. Such raw emotions falling from his lips, the younger man has never felt more vulnerable the he did at this moment.

Looking up Jiyong saw pain flash through the older man's eyes 'why is he fighting this?'. Then it occurred to him that Seung-Hyun might think that he could hurt him and not just physically. Doesn't he understand that Jiyong needs this? That he needs the reassurance?

"Seung.. Please.. I want this, I want this now. You won't hurt me and even if you did, I wont care. I want you more." He pleaded with the beautiful man in front of him, begging him with his eyes to let this continue.

It worked, Jiyong found himself being lifted into the arms of Seung-Hyun who picked him up effortlessly by his arse cheeks and hurriedly began to move them both to the bedroom. Jiyong wrapped both arms around his hyung, ignoring the pain in his left arm as they made their way up the stairs to what he assumed was his bedroom.

Crashing through the bedroom door, all of this felt like a blur to Jiyong, a whirlwind of excitement and apprehension as he was practically pummeled to the bed, Seung-Hyun hovering above him staring, as if to try and gage the younger man's reactions 'is he still unsure?'. Dark eyes cloudy with lust bored down into him, like he was searching for Jiyong's soul. It made him nervous but, if he was going to allow anyone in, this is the only person who he'd want in.

He was so close, Seung-Hyun's whole body basically enveloped his own, such a tantalizing weight and his entire body ached to be touched in every manner by this man, closing his eyes so that he could fully appreciate Seung-Hyun's scent, it was heavenly, musky and sweet and made his mouth water.

Then he felt it, Seung-Hyun's breath against his throat, it made his heart skip more then a few beats as excitement and nerves set in, he briefly wondered how the older was able to move in such a way without him noticing but guesses that it was because the smell of his hyung had taken him away to some sort of wonderland in his mind.

"Ji.." he barely heard from the man above him in a deep, enticing voice. It was so full of need that a lump formed in his throat, this need, he knew the feeling well. 'he really does want me', the thought elated him, there's no stopping now.

"mmm?" was all that he could manage to say, his head was swimming and his body ached.

"Ji, baby, just tell me to stop whenever okay? You'd don't even need a reason." He sounded serious, but there was absolutely no way he was going to stop this.

"Seung-Hyun. Please, now, don't stop." As he said those words he threw his right arm over his face in an attempt to hide his embarrassment, he could only imagine how red his face must me, and as if fighting off tears for other reasons wasn't hard enough.

"Don't hide from me" he felt his arm being moved away, and he knew he shouldn't, but it was so hard not to feel ashamed for being this needy.

"just remember what I said, okay?"

"oka…" he was cut off by a gentle kiss, peaceful, reassuring kiss that made his body relax for the first time since entering the room. His lips were as soft and warm and sweet as he remembered, his memory did the man no justice.

Closing his eyes, to try and savor the moment better this time, he was surprised when his lover removed himself, a small whimper left his lips, he missed those lips already. Before he could make a move, Seung-Hyun had eased over to his ear "Keep your eyes closed". 'huh? What? Why?' this was not what he expected but he obliged nonetheless and kept his eyes closed.

What would he do now? Eyes closed meant Jiyong felt less embarrassed, but the down side was that the anticipation of what might happen next is gnawing at him.
Thankfully Seung-Hyun didn't plan to make him wait very long as he felt his lover move against him, first, trailing his nose from his ear down to his throat where he stopped and breathed deeply. "Jiyong, you smell amazing" then out of nowhere before he could reply he felt his lovers hot slick tongue dart out and trace circles on his throat.

He couldn't help but let out a small needy moan, they hadn't even started anything yet and Jiyong thought he would explode, this man, this perfect, perfect, man was doing something that would barely be considered erotic and he thought he was going to lose his mind. He felt Seung-Hyun's tongue swirl around and move down, in a swift move he didn't notice, the top two buttons of his shirt had been undone. Leaving no time for thoughts the man above him moved to his collarbone, where instead of licking he began so suck and nibble, each nip sending jolts through his core and down to his throbbing dick. Seung-Hyun was taking his sweet time moving forward, it was torture to Jiyong but so delicious at the same time.

This time he felt his buttons being undone, one button at an agonizingly slow pace, what he assumed was his lovers' nose was trailing just above each opened segment, until they were all finally undone.

"Your skin is so beautiful Ji" he felt large hands spread across his tight torso, rubbing gently and making the hair all over Jiyong's body stand at attention. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding only for it to be caught again when Seung-Hyun started planting feathery light kisses all over his chest and torso, it was so gentle and sweet and loving that, the lump in his throat made a reappearance.

This whole scenario was overwhelming him, so much love and his emotions were peeking, everything he wanted was here, right now and he desperately didn't want to spoil the moment. But there is was, a single tear rolling down his cheek, evidence of his pain, and lust and joy. He prayed that it wouldn't halt his lovers' actions.

"Jiyong.." There it is, he knew it would be noticed. 'Fuck!'

"Don't stop, hyung! Please." he begged again 'It's not what you think'

"Jiyong-ah.. if you're not ready.."

Without thinking Jiyong's eyes shot open and he let his emotions be seen, he wished he wasn't so weak, he wished this could be more special for Seung-Hyun but, he can't help it.

"Please, don't stop.. you're.. you're healing me, please, please don.."

He didn't finish his sentence when eager lips found his, this time his kiss was more powerful, it had more presence, it was like Seung-Hyun was on a mission. The kiss was heated and grew in passion, tongues collided and when the man above him moaned into the kiss, it was Jiyong's undoing. He bit he older mans lip again, urging him to move faster, it worked. Seung-Hyun suddenly sat up and began pulling off his shirt, it was a one hell of a sight for Jiyong who, should have his eyes closed but who couldn't tear eyes away from the stunning sight before him.
He called Jiyong's skin beautiful but, he thinks that he may have been referring to his own flawless body, he was well toned, very well-toned and the etching of his six pack made Jiyong's mouth water, he ogled the glorious man before him, resisting the urge to touch, his eyes drew lower, much lower where he found that Seung-Hyun's pants were barley sitting on him. His hip bones protruded because of his obvious workouts, and there was a vein that ran in the middle of his hips near his pubic area, down to where, well, Jiyong wanted to find out. The man was fucking stunning.

Jiyong sat up and removed his shirt, he did indeed want to find out. He pushed himself onto his lover and lowered them both down, it was his turn to be on top now. Seung-Hyun let out a huff but continued to watch him, landing on his hips, he could feel the man's erection, 'good' he thought, he wasn't the only one who was feeling a little tight.

Wiggling backwards to allow himself to roam where he wanted, eyes lighting up as he reached down and started to undo the button and zipper beneath him, he was enjoying this more then his lover knew.

He was shaking but he managed to get to his goal, sliding down Seung-Hyun's pants and exposing his tented underwear, fighting the urge to run again now that things were moving fast he decided to just go, reaching down he grabbed Seung-Hyun's dick over the underwear.

The older man growled low in his throat, the animalistic kind that makes woman swoon and beg to be impregnated, it sent shivers down his spine. He closed his eyes and squeezed a little, this time when Seung-Hyun moaned it made it obvious to himself that he had waited long enough, in one swift moved he jumped up and pulled both the pants and underwear down and threw himself down and was going to finally taste what he had literally dreamed about.

But his enthusiasm was short lived when Seung-Hyun stopped him in his tracks

"You've changed your mind.." Jiyong's heart sank, he was so, so wrong. Slumming his shoulders and dropping his head, he immediately moved himself off of the man he loves so much.

"Ji, baby no! I just.. I need a shower is all.. Join me?"

Jiyong was stunned, his thoughts had taken him to such a dark place when Seung-Hyun's intentions were pure, he hadn't rejected him.

"A shower?" a wave of guilt washed over him, this man was trying to prove to him that he loved him, and he jumps to conclusions 'I'm pathetic..'

"yes baby, a shower." He smiled at Jiyong and extended his hand out, tentatively, Jiyong took his hand and allowed himself to be taken to the bathroom. His heart sunk when he realized that, the last time he'd be in here was when he had tried to kill himself. 'Can I do this? What if there is still blood..', saying that he felt the blood drain from his face.

But his worries were for naught, his own hand in his lovers the two walked into the bathroom and Jiyong let out a sigh of relief.

"You sure you're up for this?" He must have sensed Jiyong's unease at being in his bathroom again.

'Yes! Yes, I want this!' he wanted to yell at the incredible man before him, but a slight smile and an eager nod of the head would have to suffice as it was all he could manage. He is beginning to allow himself to be excited, ecstatic even.

Seung-Hyun let go of his hand and stalked over to the shower, making light work of getting the temperature right he turned and looked at the younger man 'This is it!' Jiyong was as giddy as a kid in a candy store, he can't even remember the last time he felt even close to this.

Staring down Jiyong, Seung-Hyun made his way back over to the over eager star, his eyes were smoldering, and it looked like he was a predator about to catch his pray, it made his knees weak and his breath short.

"Come, Ji" 'oh baby, I defiantly want to' he almost snickered at his own wayward thought but, without hesitation he stepped forward and was now face to face with his hyung. The steamy room matched his cloudy thoughts, his head was buzzing when he felt sweet, plump lips on his own again.

The kiss was a distraction, he knew that because when they moved apart to breath his pants were at his ankles, he was almost completely on display right now. It was making him uncomfortable, his solution was to also remove Seung-Hyun's.

"My turn." He mustered up all his courage to say as that moved his hands down to Seung-Hyun's hips, tugging just a little he looked back up at the older man and began gingerly rubbing that vein that has him so enticed.

".. I want to lick this."

"Fuck Ji!" the man growled in appreciation.

Before he could continue, in a blur Seung-Hyun had pulled them both under the warm cascading water and begun kissing him, his hyung pulled him against his larger frame and growled into this kiss

"I want you Ji" it came out in erotic huffs.

Jiyong needed no other invitations as he dropped to his knees, ignoring the pain it caused he immediately tugged on Seung-Hyun's pants and underwear, it was more difficult this time now that they're wet. But he managed. His glorious dick sprung free and Jiyong took a moment to appreciate his lovers most private area, he was well endowered and he found that the vein on his pubic area almost connected to the thick vein that ran down the shaft. He wanted to lick this one even more.

Seung-Hyun took a step back before he could try anything, looking up at his lover questioningly Seung-Hyun stepped out of his undergarments and chuckled a little

"Clean first, Ji" he told the younger man playfully.

Pouting, the star stood up

"Don't pout please, it's hot as fuck and it's hard enough hold back as it is"

Jiyong's sharp intake of breath practically echoed through the bathroom 'was he serious?'

Seung-Hyun moved toward Jiyong and tugged at the only garment still warn, Jiyong helped him by wriggling out of his underwear. The older man grabbed a bottle of bodywash and Jiyong's luffa, squirting it and lathering in between his hands, he lent forward and began to wash Jiyong's body, first his shoulders, then his arms and arm pits, being extra careful not to touch his lovers' bandages, he made short work of the top half.

He dropped to his knees in front of Jiyong, looking down and watching his love treat him so gently and lovingly was a lot to take, it overwhelmed him to be treated this way and it made him feel special. The kind of special only a lover can achieve.

Tears started falling by accident, again, he couldn't believe he was crying again but the treatment he was receiving made his chest very unusually heavy. At least Seung-Hyun wouldn't notice it under all the water pouring over the two of them.

The tears were short lived when he suddenly found his mouth dropped open and his lungs drained of air, his lover had gripped his, definitely aching now dick.

"Nghhaa fuck Seun.."

"Shh. Baby just relax" He made it sound so simple, how could he relax when his entire being ached for release? Being so tightly wound up for so long, his depression, self-harm and the constant pain the anxiety caused, and let's not forget the torture before they even got into the shower. Yeah, sure, he'll relax.

Closing his eyes and throwing his head back he tried, tried as hard as he could to relax but, Seung-Hyun knew what he was doing with his hands, it was spectacular. His hand pumping back and forth, every few pumps he'd roll his thump over Jiyong's tip, each time it threated release. He was so close, moans and obscenities fell from his lips, but he couldn't hear anything over the shower and a humming noise in his ear.

He dared and peek and looked down at his lover, just in time to see his dick slip between Seung-Hyun's lips.

"Arhh fuck! Mmmm" his mouth was so hot and slippery, and he used his teeth to grind the side of his shaft, it was too much.

"Seung.. please.. I'm gonna.." His head was spinning and he was beginning to feel dizzy, but a bubble of heat was rising in his stomach threatening to explode.

Seung-Hyun kept up the pace, rolling his tongue around griping around the base of his shaft tightly. He hummed in his deep voice and it vibrated through his dick and straight to his core, he can't hold it anymore

"Baby.. fuu.. I'm coming!"

In an almost excruciating burst, Jiyong's eyes glazed and he saw flashing white sparks as he came into his lovers' mouth. His entire body convulsed and shuttered as he rode out the most intense orgasm he'd ever had.

Eyes still closed he slummed and almost hit the tiled floor, but his knight was there and made sure he didn't hit the deck, catching him under his arms and gently sat him under the water steam to gather his baring's. Sitting down next to him on the ground, Seung-Hyun leaned against the shower wall and pulled Jiyong into his arms, wrapping both arms around him in a big protective bear hug, he whispered sweet nothings into his young lovers' ear.

Jiyong was completely spent, he still couldn't open his eyes and all of his limbs felt like jelly despite feeling like he weighed a ton. He slummed his shoulders and dropped his head, as amazing as that was, he wanted to be the one to initiate and he wanted so bad to touch Seung-Hyun.. 'now I'm sitting on the floor and he hasn't had any release..'

"Seung-Hyun?" The words slipped out slurry, his whole body didn't seem to want to co-operate with him right now.

"Hmm? Yes baby?" 'He sounds pleased? How? Doesn't he want to cum too?

"I umm.. I thought we were going to, have sex?" his shy words came out quietly but he was glad he didn't stutter.

"Do you feel better?" he heard from behind him near his ear.

"Yes but.. we came in here so that I could.." why was he feeling shy suddenly?

"Ji, baby. Relax. I wanted to make you feel good, I wanted this to be about you. Do you understand?"

'do I understand? Understand what? I just know that he must throbbing painfully hard right now and I wanted to do something about that'

"Ji, don't worry about me for now okay? I'm fine, I promise" He felt Seung-Hyun plant a gentle kiss just behind his left ear, it relaxed him.

"I like it when you call me baby" he sleepily told his sweet lover and he heard a little giggle in return.

"I like calling you baby, baby." He didn't need to look to know that the man behind him was smirking his signature smoldering smile. It made him smile too.

"So, now that you feel better, would you like to get out?"

"Aren't you getting out too?" what the hell

"No baby, I still have to clean myself remember?" another little giggle surfaced, it definitely hadn't occurred to Jiyong that Seung-Hyun hadn't ACTUALLY showered properly yet.

"Okay well.. I'll stay here and watch then" his high was finally letting up now so he was more coherent.

"If you insist my love, but we can't be long. Your bandages are wet so I need to redress it." He heard Seung-Hyun's voice drop saying those words, it pained him to know how much what he did to himself hurt his lover.

Staying silent as Seung-Hyun got up and washed quickly, despite there being a Greek god in front of him, his mind took him away 'how am I going to make up for this?'

"yong.."

"hmm?" 'He's calling me'

"Jiyong? Baby? Let's get dry and hop into bed okay? You look utterly exhausted." He stated as a matter of fact.

"But first, lets fix up that dressing."

Standing up and turning off the shower, Seung-Hyun wrapped Jiyong in his towel and then himself, grabbing hold of the medical bag in the cupboard he led the two of them into the bedroom to get dried and dressed and deal with Jiyong's wounds.

Seung-Hyun was super gentle, taking extra care while unwrapping and cleaning then re wrapping the dressing on Jiyong's arm, the star watched him in awe at how gentle and efficient he was, his strong hands being as delicate as a piece of tissue. As he was finishing up, Jiyong felt a lump appear in his throat, swelling with love for this man. Filled with love and appreciation for this man he couldn't stop the words from falling out of his mouth.

"Seung-Hyun.. I.. I love you, so much"

Looking at the man in front of him staring back at him, he had hoped that Seung-Hyun knew they were the truest words he'd ever spoken aloud and in a split second he felt soft warm lips on his own, tender and sweet and full of love.

It was short and Seung-Hyun pulled away just enough to lightly bump his forehead into Jiyong's, with his eyes closed he breathed out just loud enough for Jiyong to hear

"I love you, too, Jiyong."

A/N

Thank you so much for reading! I really, really hope you enjoy this chapter! I tried very hard to write it calmly so that it did not seem rushed. Please leave feedback on this one.. I am very nervous about it lol