Chapter 26

The Inner Conflict

One night I dreamt a dream...

In general, I never paid attention to the silly things that my subconscious would come up with at my hours of leisure. And yet, this dream proved to have much impact on me. In fact, it steered my heart, my soul, and my entire body.

I always knew that my two-legged friends put lot of meaning in dreams and visions. Even my Little Creek would often tell me about his exciting dreams and what they might potentially mean for him. I found it interesting how the humans I knew were so one with the nature. They truly did have deeper understanding of all the living creatures of this earth compared to other two-leggeds. Because of this, they were inclined to have visions of deer, bear, eagle, wolf and even horses. All this represented something important, their dreams and visions were like a foreshadowing of things yet to come.

I never thought my kind could have meaningful dreams...not til now.

When I drifted off to sleep, I found myself standing in the open, lush, green fields on a gorgeous Summer's day. The sky was so clear and so blue, the sun shone bright. It was the perfect day of the warmest season. My heart was full of joy and delight. As I put my head down to graze, I heard a whistle. I didn't need to guess. I knew extremely well who was calling for me. Turning around, my crystal eyes fell on Little Creek- my human, my best friend.

I trotted up to him, my heart soaring with the same feeling of happiness, peace and the sense of belonging. These had been the exact same feelings when I first began to discover how caring and understanding my human was. He filled the role of a father, mother, best friend, brother, and yes, even at times, a lover. As crazy and unnatural it may sound, I had never dreamed of having a mate or becoming a dam. I didn't need to fill that emptiness. I already had everything I wanted in my best friend. A beloved homeland and a reliable human by my side.

Of course, that was only because I was quite young and not fully mature, not experienced in love and relationships with stallions. But indeed, things drastically changed when Spirit came around. In fact, I changed.

In my dream, Little Creek and I pranced and playfully chased one another, like we had done many times in real life. He rolled in the tall grass, as I galloped up to him and brushed my nose on his face. Jumping up again, my human ran once more, as I continued loping after him. It was as if I was a little filly once more and for a moment, I actually was. The day was extremely bright and so clear. There was something airy and mystical about my surroundings despite the fact that it was the same village I grew up in.

As Little Creek ran forward and forward, I followed after him, increasing my speed and slowly felt panic set in me. I should've caught up to him by now, why were my legs moving so lazily? The former glorious sky suddenly darkened, as the black clouds covered our lands. I neighed anxiously at Little Creek hoping he'd stop and wait for me. In that moment, I heard screams- terrible, horrible screams of little children as they fell to the ground, blood dripping from their faces. I squealed in terror when I saw my human falling in the river, rushing towards him in order to save him somehow, I noticed a dark, shadow standing in between us. It wouldn't allow me to rescue him. The black fog circled around me, terrorising me in fear. There was something so mysterious about the shadow and so frightening. Quivering, I looked at my human who was holding on to the rock, so that the speed of the river wouldn't carry him away to his doom.

Sudden courage awoke in me as the gloomy clouds started to scatter, without hesitation, I jumped in the flowy river and carried my human to the shore. He stared at me with a determined expression, he didn't have to say anything. I knew exactly what he meant with that look. We were going to protect our homeland from these dark shadows that managed to bring terror to everyone. To my surprise, the fear and panic was no longer in me. I wasn't afraid. I wanted to fight. Swinging his body up my back, Little Creek and I charged at the invisible enemies. In that moment, our reflection shined in the nearby banks and when I glanced at it, we transformed into the brave warriors of our village. Yes, you have guessed it ... we resembled our strong and courageous fathers.

The interesting thing about dreams is how the scenes and situations one's in changes and moves fast.

I was galloping, my stride very powerful and courageous, Little Creek was on my back, letting out a vibrating war cry. Everything around me started to spin when we both approached a huge, dark shadow. I came to an unexpected stop, narrowing my blue eyes to make out what exactly we were facing. To my great shock, once the darkness scattered, I spotted a golden color dancing around in the middle. Spirit! It was my stallion. The Mustang reared in front of us neighing loudly and harshly at Little Creek, who lost his balanced and fell off my back.

"Rain," Spirit's voice echoed like thunder over the lands. "come with me." He begged, turning to face me, his warm brown eyes, softening. "Don't you want to be free with me?"

I stared at him, my heart beating fast against my chest. Hesitantly, I looked back at Little Creek, who was shaking his head. "No, don't leave me." He implored softly, small tears building up in his eyes.

I was standing in the middle...to my right lay Little Creek on the ground, and to my left stood Spirit, his head already turning towards his homeland. I didn't know what to do. I had no other choice but to pick either one of them. It was either my home and my human or the stallion of my dreams and his wild home?

"Rain, please...my love. I can't live without you." Spirit continued to beseech me, his beautiful gaze, tenderly fixed on me. "Come, come with me."

Tears began to stream down my cheeks as I stared back at Little Creek again. He was also crying, standing up to his feet, he neared me. "Are you going to abandon me for a wild stallion? A stallion who probably won't ever love you as much as I?" He flung his arms around my neck and buried his nose in my fur. "My best friend, don't go. Please don't leave." He sobbed uncontrollably.

My heart was failing...I was torn - completely and utterly torn. It was a nightmare! Literally.

And yet...

I shook my head, finally making up my mind. Facing Spirit in determination once more I spoke up at last. "I'm sorry. You'll have to go without me."

The painful expression on the stallion's face was unforgettable and really difficult to describe. Unlike my human, he didn't attempt to shed tears though. But his heart was shattered in pieces and it was very evident. In fact, I noticed small droplets of blood dripping from his chest. "As you wish." He said, his former warm, tender brown pools, hardening in anger.

I watched the love of my life disappear in the distance. But in that moment, I was sure that I had made a right choice when Little Creek's devastated features turned all bright and he smiled at me.

Just as it's in every dream, the scene and the situation changed again when I found myself standing in the meadows with my human mounted on my back. Once more the sun was shinning, the Spring was in the air, as the sweet smell of blooming flowers tickled my nose. Couple of pretty blue birds flew past us, the rabbits hopped around happily, the deer pranced with their young nearby - it seemed like everyone around us were delighted with the gorgeous season.

My ears perked up when I heard the sound of galloping horses. Turning my gaze towards the prairies I saw him...Spirit - running wild, bravely leading his mustang herd. My heart jumped up as I longed to see him. Without waiting for my human's cue, I anxiously trotted towards him. If only I could just be with him for a little while. I had missed him so much. However, I suddenly stopped in my tracks when I notice something that made my heart tear into pieces. Spirit was not alone. He galloped up to a high hill that overlooked his grazing herd and next to him stood a beautiful black mare. Resembling one of those desert princesses of Arabia. I felt my legs go weak as I saw my stallion nuzzling her with so much love and affection. No! How could this be?

He only looked that way at me. No! No! No!

I knew I had lost him when I chose to stay with my human...but this hurt. It hurt so bad. As if this wasn't enough to make my whole heart sink in devastation, two little buckskin foals pranced up to Spirit and the mare. It wasn't difficult to comprehend that they were their offspring. The uncanny resemblance of both of the parents were obvious on the traits of the cute foals. This added salt to my deep wound. Tears started to build up in my eyes, I forgot to breathe and my heart was squashed like an old, useless cabbage. Hoping that only my human could console me now, I looked up only to see that he was gone and out of sight. I was alone.

Completely and utterly alone.

The shock, the pain, the loneliness was too much to bear. My head began to spin again, my legs were shaking, everything was blurry because of tears in my blue eyes and my heart was in so much agony. Defeated and utterly broken, I fell down as the ground beneath me exploded and turned into a giant waterfall, sending me crashing down into the depths of water.

I jerked my head up, awakening in panic. It was all a dream! I sighed in relief but my heart still beat fast against my chest and sweat had formed onto my brows and forelock. What a complete nightmare! Panting, I quickly scanned everything around me and saw my fellow horses resting and sleeping nearby. Some of the stallions were up and alert as usual. I shut my eyes, thankful that none of it was real. Spirit was here, in his corral and Little Creek was sleeping in his tent. We were okay. There was no stupid black mare! And no twin foals! Thank goodness.

I couldn't possible go back to sleep, not after such a nightmare. I couldn't help but wonder about it though. What did this all mean? I looked up at the clear night's sky, the stars twinkling beautifully from above. Was this some kind of an omen? What was the meaning of this? Was I going to be forced to choose between Little Creek and my life here, between Spirit and his wild homeland after all?

This dream had made me realize one thing.

I didn't want to let either one of them go.

How could I leave my best friend? My human, who was always there for me? I practically didn't know life without him. And besides, this place was my home; if I didn't stay and defend it, who would?

And I also couldn't let Spirit slip away from me. He was my love - my true love. The idea of him being with some other mare boiled my blood in rage and anguish. No! He belonged with me.

Or did I belonged with him? Ugh, I was so confused.

This dream conflicted me even more about what my life was supposed to be like.

What was my destiny?

Spirit had offered his home to me, he offered me to become his mate...meaning that as the mate of a lead stallion I would have a role of a lead mare. Was I even made for that? To lead the band of wild mustangs? Me - a domesticated mare?

I always believed that my destiny lay here with Little Creek. I wanted to be just like my brave sire. I wanted to protect my homeland, be a war horse and make my parents proud, who were without doubt watching over me.

Why on earth did I have to fall in love? Why? Oh, Spirit...what have you done to me?

This dream, or a nightmare to be exact, was a result of my deep, inner conflict within me. No matter how hard I tried to shake these feelings away, I knew that it would simply be impossible. How could I be in this situation? How would I even dare to leave my home? Everything I knew and loved was here. And yet, Spirit...my stallion belonged to completely different world. How could I let him go without me?

My mind was about to burst with all these thoughts.

I can't say that I resumed my sleep that night. I remained wide awake, hoping, praying that somehow things would settle down without me making a most difficult choice.

This was sort of like a filer chapter in order to deepen Rain's conflict and confusion. The story is after all, about how torn she is between her loyalty and love. Also, I wanted to really develop her character. I didn't take away any of the personality traits from her that has been depicted in the film, instead I widened it and tried to give her more depth. I do hope you like it and I do hope she isn't straying from the canon version. That is definitely not my intention. Thank so much to all who are continuing to read and support this story. It means a lot. Please stay tuned for more exciting chapters...make sure to check quickly for the updates. Leave your reviews! Thank you! Much love.