The following day during physical training Katsuki gives his all. His explosion during the "Hero x Villain" exercise had run so wide and had caused so much damage that he got scolded by no other than All Might himself after that. He had endured it, his mind straying to something else as he grit his teeth at the fact that his – and Izuku's former – childhood idol had become a teacher at U.A.
More than one of his classmates complimented him on his skill and exceeding strength, but Katsuki brushed them all off. He had enough ego boosts for the rest of his life. Lately he had felt rather lackluster considering his emotions, which is why it agitated him thus the more that only the sadness and pain seemed to linger.
When they return to the dressing room Katsuki faces the lockers as he strips himself off of his costume. He carefully folds the black and orange costume back into its case and stuffs all the props into their compartments. The edges of his bracers and gauntlets are singed from overusing his Quirk, so instead of taking it with him back to class he drops it off into a specially designed area for repair.
'Hey!' a voice bounces out from behind him.
Katsuki whips his head around to see Kirishima running up to him, flashing a toothy grin.
'You were totally awesome out there!'
Katsuki hunches his shoulders. He doesn't need friends like he had in middle school, only following him around cause he had a cool and strong Quirk. He's had enough of that. 'Thanks,' Katsuki mutters back, hoping Kirishima will take the hint.
'Hey, I was thinking, maybe we could start like a study group or something. Help each other through the semester, you know?' Kirishima continues. Katsuki looks up at him, raising an eyebrow. 'We've been here two days.'
Kirishima grins and scratches his head. 'I know, but you look like a smart kind of guy. Doubt you'd need my help, but I think I could really use yours!'
Katsuki looks at the ground, his hands dug deep into his pockets as he keeps walking to the exit. He hadn't really come here to make friends. His goal was clear: become the number one hero. He didn't need anything besides that.
'Please!' Kirishima pleads, bowing his head low, his hands palm against palm in front of him. 'I had to study really hard in middle school too to get high enough grades to enter here. If I don't have someone to help me, I'm not sure if I'll make it through this semester!'
Katsuki looks down at him. Kirishima looks pathetic, pleading at someone he's only known for two days, yet there's something about his perseverance that intrigues Katsuki. 'Get up you stupid hair for brains,' Katsuki growls. Kirishima looks up. 'Hair for brains?'
Katsuki clicks his tongue. 'Stop looking so pathetic. I'll teach you.'
Kirishima's eyes light up as he stands up straight, his grin widely spread across his face again. Katsuki wishes he could see a smile like that more often. 'But only if you can handle me!' Katsuki growls. 'I won't go on easy on you!'
This makes Kirishima smile even wider. He's practically beaming at Katsuki's response. 'I won't let you down!'
'You better,' Katsuki grumbles back, turning away from him to make his way home. Kirishima lingers around as they walk off campus all the way to the train station where they eventually split up.
'I'm not going there!' Katsuki yells.
'Like hell you are!' Mitsuki yells back at him.
Katsuki is standing in the living room in front of the television. Across the coffee table is his mom. Both are ready to flee, must the need for it arise.
'That poor woman has been alone for months!' Mitsuki yells. On the other side of the room Katsuki can see his dad, trying to quietly hush the situation, but it isn't very helpful. 'And why should I have to go? Huh? I doubt she'd want to see me!'
'I called with Inko and she said she wanted to clean up Izuku's room. She thought you might want some of his things, so she invited you over, you dumbass!'
Katsuki freezes in place, leaving room for Mitsuki to come around and smack him on the head. Katsuki growls lowly at her as she places a hand around his upper arm and drags him along to the hall. He grumbles as he puts on his shoes, protesting once more as he's nearly shoved out of the front door. 'Don't give her a hard time!' Mitsuki yells right before she slams the door shut on him.
Fucking hell! Katsuki thinks to himself as he kicks at a pebble on the ground. Why the fuck does he have to go over there to look through Izuku's stuff? It's not like he wants anything anyways. He already took the notebooks ten months ago, he doubts there's anything more he'd want to have. Still, being sure that he isn't allowed to go back into the house after Inko has called his mother that he came over, Katsuki starts making his way down the street.
His mind is on a rampage as he walks with his hands dug in the pockets of his sweats. Katsuki's been trying to avoid the Midoriya household for as much as he could, knowing that the place only serves as a grim reminder of everything that's happened. Somehow, Katsuki could keep up the illusion that Izuku had never truly disappeared. Even though he had visited his grave countless times, somewhere deep inside his heart, it felt to him like the casket beneath the earth was empty.
The road there isn't very far so it is only a matter of minutes before Katsuki is standing in front of their door. Her door. He rings the doorbell and patiently waits until Inko opens up.
'Katsuki!' she says, feigning excitement. 'I'm so glad you could come.' He brushes past her as she opens the door further to let him in. He takes his hands out of his pockets, knowing far too well how much she hated that.
'Would you like some tea?' she asks him. Katsuki shakes his head. 'No, thank you.'
Inko Midoriya was about the only person he would remain polite to. The woman has a heartwarming aura around her that nobody can possibly ignore, not even Katsuki.
'Alright. You know where his room is, you're free to take whatever you want.' Katsuki looks at her. 'Whatever?' he questions. She nods. 'Most of his things are All Might memorabilia, so I have no value on them.' When she sees Katsuki's puzzled look she continues. 'Don't worry, I've searched through it before. I've taken everything I wanted to keep.'
Katsuki feels a bit more relieved at that. He wouldn't want to take anything away from her that she'd hold dear. How would it feel, to have the last memories of someone you loved left in material things…
Katsuki swallows hard as he turns away. As he stands in front of the door, he realizes entering might be his biggest challenge. Opening this door would mean facing reality, for good. Taking the things he loved home with him, as a last reminder of his former best friend.
Katsuki reaches out for the knob, his hand trembling as he touches the cold metal. Slowly, he pushes the lever down, and the door to Izuku's room slides open. It's dark. The curtains are closed and the atmosphere feels empty. Katsuki walks in, one slow step at a time, breathing in deeply as he's trying to maintain his posture.
He closes the door softly behind him before flicking the lights on, casting a shadow over all what used to be his. As Katsuki slowly looks around, it really seems as if nobody has been here for the past ten months. And maybe nobody hasn't.
The air feels tight around Katsuki as he moves forward. He traces a single finger across the desk. It's lined with dust. He looks around again. Every wall is plastered with All Might posters. On his desk are several All Might stationary items. Figures, in all poses and sizes, lining the shelves on his wall.
Katsuki crouches down, wrapping his arms around his body as he slowly breathes in and out. Before, he could pretend Izuku was still alive. As if he had gone to a different school than Katsuki, and that's why they weren't talking anymore. As if they had moved away and fallen out of touch. But standing here, in this room, on his own, knowing that Izuku will never return home.. It makes Katsuki's heart clench.
He takes another few deep breaths before getting back up. He goes to one of the shelves which is somehow not lined with All Might merchandise. Katsuki picks up some heavy books and throws them onto the bed. Dust flies up and drifts around until it settles on the floor, making Katsuki cough.
He plops down on the covers and opens one of the books, noticing quickly that it's a photo album. Katsuki looks at it questioningly. Photo albums seem like a thing a mother would like to keep… He wonders why Inko left it behind.
As he browses through the pages he notices that it are mostly pictures from his childhood. Their childhood. On nearly every picture it's Katsuki and Izuku. Pictures of them going to the water park together, a picture at a zoo where Izuku cried after being scared by one of the tigers with Katsuki trying to console him, a picture of the first day in middle school in their uniforms. The time before Katsuki had started bullying him. A picture on the day Katsuki had nicknamed him… Katsuki lingers there.
He takes the picture off the page and looks at it closely. They were sitting in the sand of a playground at the end of the street. Katsuki could clearly see the bucket at Izuku's side with his name written on it. Two of Katsuki's friends were with them as they were pictured building sandcastles. After that, the moms had left them alone, and Katsuki had come to the great revelation of calling the boy Deku. Useless. Katsuki hangs his head low as he considers how much that name must've haunted him.
Katsuki lies down on the covers. Dusty as they are, he finds comfort in them. He spends a considerable time looking at the pictures. Analyzing them. Indulging in them. Seeing Izuku's smile change to a sad expression. The timeline of their childhood nearly complete up until their second year in middle school.
Katsuki's eyelids start to become heavy as he keeps looking at the pictures, but he doesn't want to let go yet. It feels as if he could just turn back time and re-do their childhood. Katsuki wishes they could. Looking at these pictures, Katsuki doesn't feel as if Izuku is gone.
Time passes more quickly than Katsuki notices. Before he completely falls asleep he hears the door to the room opening. The light flickers off as Katsuki falls asleep, the photo album clutched closely to his chest, wondering what would've happened if Izuku had never been Deku, but just Izuku instead.