Let Me Fly
by FanficAllergy & RoseFyre
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Chapter Five: White Rabbit
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Last Time in Let Me Fly:
The attack is over.
We won.
So why do I feel so much dread?
oOo
We're not able to sleep after the attack, so instead we pack up our camp, doing our best to try to make it seem like we never stayed there. While Gale attempts to remove any evidence of our fire, my mother distributes the day's food. Early on, we made the decision to limit how much food each person gets every day so that we don't accidentally go through it too fast. It's enough that we won't starve, but I still like to supplement what I can by hunting and gathering.
The day starts off cloudy and quickly turns into a light drizzle. It's not so bad under the trees, but we keep running into these long straight fields with no trees. It's weird. And we can't help getting wet.
I'm glad I had the presence of mind to note which direction the sun rose from because otherwise we'd be walking in circles. When we reach another one of these long thin clearings that's heading in a general northeasterly direction, we decide to follow it, keeping slightly under the trees to avoid the rain. Our ears are peeled for the sound of pursuit.
There isn't any.
We call it a day early. Deciding it's safe enough, Gale and I make a small shelter for us against the edge of a fallen tree using hemlock and pine boughs for our walls and roof. Rory and Prim spread a thick pile of soft fir boughs on the ground.
"That's better but it's still not enough," my mother says, surveying our work. "Do you think we can set a fire?"
Gale shakes his head. "No. We're still too close to Twelve and we don't know if they're looking for us yet."
My mother sighs. "We've got to do something to keep warm. We've been walking in the wet all day and it's just going to get colder at night. I'm going to suggest something, and I know you're going to hate it, but it's either this or a fire." She looks at me pointedly.
There's a growing pit of dread in my stomach. I can guess what she's about to suggest.
"We need to share body heat," she states. "I think Prim and I were probably the warmest ones last night, and we were still miserable. So I think we're going to need to pair up and each pair sleep under two blankets."
"How's that gonna work?" Gale asks. "We only have five blankets and there's six of us."
"I think it'd be smart if we had two people on watch," my mother reasons. "The two on watch can share one blanket while the remaining four of us can each have two."
"Fine. I'll take Mellark." He glares at Peeta who's trying his best to remain unthreatening.
"I don't think that's a good idea, Gale," my mother objects.
Gale turns his glare to my mother. "Why the hell not?"
"You'd be distracted," she answers.
"Distracted by what?"
I think I can guess where my mother's coming from. "I think you'd spend the entire time watching Peeta instead of our surroundings," I say. "I'll take Peeta."
"Oh hell no!" Gale explodes. "There is no way I'm trusting Mellark on a watch with any of you!"
I'm taken aback by the force of Gale's objection. I've never seen him react this way before. "Gale," I say, "Peeta's not going anywhere. Where would he go? How would he get back to Twelve? He's not used to the woods like we are and at this point I'm not sure any of us could find Twelve easily! He has no idea how to navigate and no weapons. Just what do you think he's going to do?"
Gale clenches his fists. "He could kill you, Katniss! He's got no stake in this. No reason to stay. I don't trust him not to hurt you and run off."
"I would never hurt Katniss!" Peeta exclaims.
"I don't trust you!"
"Do you trust me to be able to defend myself? I'm the best shot out of the two of us and I know how to use a knife. Peeta's unarmed. I can handle him," I interject, trying and failing to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
"That's not what you said yesterday!"
"I'm not arguing with you anymore, Gale! Peeta and I will take the last watch. I'll need to take a bearing anyways when the sun rises."
"Prim and I will take the middle watch," my mother says hastily to prevent Gale from protesting further. "We got the most sleep last night."
"That leaves you and Rory on first watch. If it makes you feel better, Hawthorne, you can glare at me all night," Peeta finishes. I can tell he's both amused and frustrated with Gale's insistence that he's a threat.
Gale glowers at all of us. "Fine! I can see I'm outnumbered." He stomps away then pauses at the edge of our campsite. "If you lay one hand on her, Mellark, I will kill you."
That's when it hits me: sharing a watch with Peeta means I'm going to be sleeping with Peeta. Just what have I volunteered myself for?
After a quick rest, I go out to try my luck at getting something for dinner. We've eaten the last of our meat pies and I don't want to break into our hardtack and dried food just yet. I manage to shoot a small squirrel but I don't see much out. I take the squirrel back to camp. "I think we can chance a small fire to cook this," I announce, tossing the animal at Gale.
He catches it and looks at me questioningly.
"You work on that. I'm going to try to gather some vegetables to go with the squirrel."
Peeta perks up. "Do you mind if I join you?"
I shrug. "Sure. No problem."
I try not to notice how upset Gale looks as we walk away.
We head toward where I saw a small stream paralleling one of the long thin clearings. I make a beeline towards it. When we get there, I uproot several cattails and Peeta copies me.
"Are you sure you're okay with this?"
"Okay with what?"
"Sharing blankets."
I shrug. "It's not my preferred solution, but what other choice do we have? My mother's right, we were too cold last night."
"I'm sure we could figure something else out. Maybe I can borrow some more clothes from Gale, and you can take the blankets."
"I don't think that's gonna work."
"I just don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Too late." The words come out harsher than I intended.
Peeta whirls, his blue eyes snapping. "Do you think I wanted to be kidnapped? That it was my goal to make you uncomfortable? To make Hawthorne's life hell?" He's gesticulating wildly, working himself up with every word. "Well fuck that! I was just trying to get away from my mom for a few days. Forget for just a little while that my dad's dead and my mom hates me and my brothers so fucking much that she'd rather hit us than hug us. I didn't mean to get in your way. And I sure as hell didn't mean to get dragged along with you. So I'm sorry if that makes you feel uncomfortable, but you're the ones that got me into this."
I'm stunned. "Peeta…" I try.
He cuts me off. "No! I've got the right to say this. I'm the one who's been torn away from my family! You still have yours."
"We didn't want this to happen!"
"That makes two of us."
"I'm sorry. I just couldn't let Gale kill you." I don't know what else to say. I retreat, moving off to pull some more cattails.
I hear Peeta behind me several minutes later. "What'd you mean by that?" His voice is very quiet, but intense.
My eyes meet his. "I owed you."
He blinks. "For the bread? It was just a couple of loaves!"
"They saved my life." I pause. "You saved my life. And my mother's, and my sister's. I couldn't let Gale take yours."
"I'm not sure if I should be upset or glad at your sense of debt."
"Do you wish we'd killed you?" I hope he doesn't say yes. I don't know if I could bear to kill him.
"No, no. Never, Katniss." He shakes his head. "I just...I just miss my brothers."
"Do you want us to let you go?"
"Now?" He asks incredulously. "You were right, I have no way of finding my way back. And even if I could, my mom's sure to have missed me by now. I'd be lucky to only be whipped. I don't have a choice." He looks over at me and smiles wanly. "I guess you're stuck with me."
"You're not the worst person I could be stuck with."
"Thanks," he says dryly.
"I guess I should say thank you. For the bread."
"You're welcome. I wish you could've said it without having to kidnap me."
"Me too."
He shakes his head. "I'm sorry. This isn't how I wanted this to go." He walks off before I even have the chance to say anything.
I stare after him. I'm confused. What does he mean by that? I'm not sure I want to know.
Moving on, I find several bunches of watercress just starting to come out. That should taste good with the squirrel. We also find a whole field of dandelions. I smile as I start to gather them.
"You look happy," Peeta says. "I would never have thought that a simple weed would make you smile like that."
I frown, embarrassed to be caught with my guard down like that. "It's not a weed, it's food. And it saved my family."
"Oh. I didn't know. So...what can you eat on a dandelion?"
"Pretty much everything," I say. "The leaves make a good salad or boiled green, the flowers can be eaten pickled or deep fried, the roots can be made into tea, and as you saw yesterday they can be used as medicine. It's a really useful plant." I pick a flower bud and I toss it in my mouth.
"Huh," he says with a shake of his head. "I wanted to talk to you for such a long time. It - it feels weird to finally be able to do so." He picks one of the bright yellow flowers and studies it bemusedly. "It's funny. I almost worked up the courage one time but you got distracted by one of these flowers and I never got the chance." He twirls it between his fingers. "It's kind of ironic that a dandelion would let me talk to you again."
I freeze. It can't be. He was trying to talk to me the only day I ever wanted to talk to him? The day I realized that I could feed my family?
I look around, searching for a distraction. I don't find one, so in desperation I say, "Can you help me gather a whole bunch of the leaves? The young leaves taste the best. We should probably get back soon."
Peeta looks disappointed but nods anyway. I'm grateful he doesn't push.
When we've gathered as many dandelions as we can carry, we return to camp to find that they were unable to set a fire.
"Why didn't you use the book?" I ask. "That romance novel. It can't be that useful. We need the meat!"
"We are not sacrificing the book," my mother says. "Look, it's getting late. The squirrel wouldn't be finished by the time it's dark. Just give half of it to Buttercup today and the rest tomorrow and call it good."
I grumble a bit, but give in. At least this way we won't waste our stores on feeding that damn cat.
oOo
The next day is sunny and warmer and we're able to make decent time, despite Peeta and I not sleeping very well last night. He tried to avoid touching me underneath the covers, but when we woke up, he was curled around me. It felt protective.
Intimate.
And I wriggled out of his grasp as quickly as possible. Thankfully, he didn't comment and I'm glad Gale wasn't awake to see. But I can't stop thinking about that drowsy moment when I woke up in his arms and felt safe.
I range ahead, avoiding everyone under the pretense of scouting the terrain. Still, we have to stop when we reach a steep cliff. From that vantage point, we see a large river and decide to follow it. We end up losing a few hours trying to find a way down before eventually finding one.
By the time we reach the bottom, it's late afternoon and we're worn out. My mother suggests we call it a day and follow the river in the morning.
Because there's not a lot of cover overhead, we decide it's not safe for a fire. And after the debacle the day before, I choose not to hunt. I still want to gather what I can to supplement our food. I have no idea how long it's going to take to find a new home.
I take Rory with me this time under the guise of wanting to teach everyone what to look for. In reality, I'm avoiding both Gale and Peeta. It's almost not worth bringing the boy. There isn't a lot to find this early in the season other than watercress along the swiftly moving river.
We still gather as much as we can, but there isn't that much.
Still, the trip isn't entirely worthless. Rory spots an overhang that will make a good shelter for tonight.
We get the others and settle in.
oOo
The following morning, we're all puttering around camp eating breakfast and taking care of our bodily needs when the birds fall silent.
Gale and I sit up straight. We know what that means.
"Everyone! Under the overhang! Now!" Gale yells, grabbing what packs are outside of it, hurling them out of sight.
We all huddle under the overhang, pressing our bodies against the rock wall. Then we hear it. A hovercraft. A Capitol hovercraft. It sounds like it's heading towards Twelve from the northwest. We're lucky it didn't spot us out in the open.
We stay pressed up against the wall until the birds start singing again and we're sure it's gone.
"Looks like Mother's finally noticed I'm missing," Peeta says wryly. "Only took three days this time."
"We need to move," Gale says. "Now."
We grab our packs and follow the river east away from the direction the hovercraft came from.
We travel for maybe a mile when what we thought was a hawk circling overhead screams and dives straight for us.
I draw my bow and shoot it, but it still falls to the ground near us.
When it lands, we examine it and realize it's a mutt. It's the first time I've ever seen a mutt like this outside of the Games and my heart starts to pound. What is it doing here?
We don't take time to investigate. Tossing it into the river, we hurry on.
We trek maybe another mile when a loud roar pierces the air.
Gale swears and shrugs his pack off, nocking an arrow. I do the same and my mother and Peeta shove the kids behind them and brandish their walking sticks.
We're just in time.
A large unnaturally brown and red bear charges out of a cave near the edge of the cliff right at us.
I shoot an arrow into it but it does nothing.
Another arrow joins it.
The beast keeps coming.
There isn't a lot of distance between the charging mutt and me so this arrow has to count.
I draw my bow and take a deep breath. I see another arrow lodge in its side from Gale's bow and the beast lets out an awful roar.
It's what I've been waiting for. I loose my arrow right into the muttation's mouth, piercing the skull.
The roar changes to a gurgle and the animal falls to the ground, skidding to a halt less than ten feet from us.
"We need to get out of here!" Gale shouts.
"Where to?" I yell back. "In case you haven't noticed, we're stuck between the cliff and the river!"
"There!" Peeta points. "I think there's something stretched across the river!" I follow his finger to see what looks to be a large log stretched across the swiftly moving water.
It's less than a quarter of a mile away so we attempt to make a run for it. It's hard with the weight of the packs and we're all stumbling over the rough ground.
We get to the log and lean against it, struggling for breath.
"So now what?" Rory asks in between gasps.
Gale pushes it with his foot experimentally. "I'm not sure it can hold all of us."
"So who goes first?" Prim asks.
"I'll do it," Peeta says.
"No way, Mellark. You're carrying the heaviest pack and I still don't trust you."
While this is going on, I take time to examine our surroundings, looking for traps. Something bright white captures my attention.
It looks like a Peacekeeper's helmet. But it can't be. What would a Peacekeeper be doing out here? I take a few steps closer to get a better look. Behind me I can hear Rory start to cross the log and Prim encouraging him.
A flicker of gold catches my eye on the stark whiteness of what I can now confirm is a Peacekeeper's helmet. A tracker jacker!
It's a trap!
"Run!"
"Why?" Gale yells.
"Tracker jackers! It's a booby trap! We need to go!"
My mother helps Prim up, following Rory across.
Gale's brother reaches the other side and shouts, "I can hear more mutts!" He pulls out his slingshot and takes a defensive stance.
"Go!" Peeta yells. "Your brother needs you!"
Gale looks between Peeta and his brother, looking torn.
"Dammit, Hawthorne! You can either help him or watch me! Not both! Go! I'll be right behind you! Just go!"
Gale doesn't argue. Clambering onto the log with Peeta right on his heels, Gale tries to get his bow and arrow ready as he moves.
It's a mistake.
He hits a slippery patch of moss and loses his balance, teetering over the rushing water.
Just as fast, Peeta reaches out and catches the other man before he can topple into the river.
I don't notice what Gale's reaction is because I'm distracted by the painful sting of a tracker jacker on the back of my neck.
I can't let it stop me. I have to keep moving. If I don't, I'm dead.
I scramble onto the fallen tree and start across. I feel the tracker jacker venom beginning to take effect. The wood underneath my feet feels unsteady like I'm trying to stand up in a mine cart while it's moving.
I have to fight it.
I push forward, each step feeling like I'm about to tumble into the water below.
I hear shouts and snarls from the other side of the river but I can't let myself look up to determine what's going on. I have to concentrate on reaching the far bank.
One step. Then another. And another. I'm getting closer but the venom's effect is getting stronger.
I'm not sure if I'm going to make it.
The water beneath me turns to blood. In the froth, the skeletons of all those who have died in the flu bob obscenely. I stifle back a scream.
"Katniss!" I hear someone shout.
I look up from Posy's bloodless face to see an even worse nightmare! It's worse than the most hideous muttation in the Games with pulsating green skin oozing bright pink slime. Its face, if you can call it that, is dominated by a pair of bright yellow eyes with dark slits for pupils.
It's a monster!
A monster with Rory's voice. "Katniss! Give me your hand!" the thing cries.
I shake my head. It can't be Rory. It's got to be another trap. I take a step backward.
"She's gonna fall!" I hear my sister shout but I can't see her. In her place is another slime monster.
I want to fall. Darkness is closing in all around me. I want to escape from these muttations with my loved ones' voices.
A clawed hand reaches out and seizes my wrist. I scream.
"Don't let go, Rory!" the Prim-monster calls out frantically.
The claw tightens and I paw at the limb weakly, trying to get away. "She's slipping! I'm not sure I can hold her!"
"Hang on! I'll be there in a second!" the orange blob with Peeta's voice calls out. It rushes onto the log and captures the hand trying to fend off the Rory-monster.
"Let me go!"
"Never!" it says, pulling me into its flesh.
It's too much for me. I surrender to the darkness.
I hear voices calling my name. Peeta. Prim. Gale.
They're pleading with me to come back. To hold on.
I can't.
oOo
AN:
Written: 1/30/15
Revised: 2/1/15
The title of this chapter comes from the Jefferson Airplane song by the same name. It's a lovely song ostensibly about Alice in Wonderland but most people think that it references the effects of taking mind altering drugs. The music video does nothing to dispel this interpretation. And the effects it describes mesh up nicely with the effects of tracker jacker venom. Which let us tell you isn't fun to write. Not fun. Don't want to do it again.
Anyone have any guesses what the long thin clearings they kept running into are? If you guessed the roads and highways of today, give yourself a cookie. We're setting this about 250 to 300 years in the future. Using historical precedent of what happened with abandoned Roman roads and current evidence of urban reclamation, the cement and concrete will crack and thanks to winds and weather eventually get a thin layer of dirt over them which will lead to what's essentially wasteland meadows. For the most part, trees will not be able to take root (you'll get the odd sumac or maple but they'll be an exception.) This is especially true on interstates, which have to be able to handle heavier loads without cracking and breaking. If history has shown us anything, it's that while our cities can crumble, it can take a long time to do so. The fact that Roman roads are still being used to this day speaks to that. Look for the things we leave behind playing a role later in the series.
Now we come to the muttation portion of the author's note. Those were essentially proximity traps meant to stop runaways. The log was planted by the Capitol with the goal of luring people onto it. Either the tracker jackers or the mutt trap on the other side would take out the runners, if the bear hadn't already. You can infer that there are other traps all around the edges of the various districts. And in case you are wondering, at this point they're about forty miles from District Twelve. They've walked a bit farther than that, but not in a straight line.
Things Randomized in this chapter:
- The weather (all of it)
- Time of Day the Hovercraft flew over (and which day)
- Hunting success (if any)
- Ability to set a fire or not
- Approximately how many of anything they find
We hope you enjoyed this. Let us know what you think!