Ejiro stared at the empty seat in front of him. It was the third day in a row that Katsuki hadn't shown and it was starting to worry him. He had sent countless texts through LINE, but all of them were left at "read". At least it meant Katsuki was reading them, but why he was ignoring Ejiro… it was beyond him.
The door to the class slid open, revealing a very tired looking Aizawa. Everything seemed normal, except that their classmate was missing.
More people were glancing over at Katsuki's empty spot, murmuring to each other and casting pitiful glances at Ejiro. It didn't bother him at all that they were feeling sorry for him; it just meant that they knew how much Katsuki meant to him, and that was satisfying, in some weird way.
Aizawa looked around the class, his eyes falling on Katsuki's empty spot as well. 'Bakugou absent again?' he said, glancing over at Ejiro. Ejiro lowered his head. 'Yes, sir.'
'Have you heard anything from him yet?' His head sunk even lower. 'No, sir.'
Aizawa hummed to himself, probably mentally noting something down to contact his parents later today to inquire about the circumstances of Katsuki's absence.
After that, class went on as usual, but Ejiro couldn't focus. He slipped his phone out of his pocket, carefully keeping it under the table as not to get noticed by his teacher.
Are you okay? Please reply to me, the entire class is worried about you – Ejiro
He hit send. He put his phone away and tried to focus on class again, but his eyes kept being drawn to that empty desk. Ejiro had easily noticed that Katsuki had been distraught the day after talking to All Might about his and Izuku's past, but he didn't understand why it had affected him that much until the next day.
Upon entering the training grounds, ready to get a lesson taught by All Might, they were met with the familiar face of Cementos and Ectoplasm instead. They were told that All Might had taken an absence of leave for urgent business and wouldn't come back soon. It wasn't very hard for Ejiro to put the pieces together and realize that Katsuki was taking it personally.
He had tried to talk to him about it, but the blonde had just shrugged him off and kept looping around to more normal topics, if he wanted to talk at all.
Katsuki's unusual behavior hadn't gone unnoticed to anyone. At lunch he would always have leftovers, mostly picking at his food rather than eating it. Iida had confronted Katsuki about it, pointing out that a hero needed proper malnourishment in order to save people, but Katsuki had just glared at him and then proceeded to stab his omurice again. Everyone at the table had looked at Katsuki, raising eyebrows, realizing that this wasn't the usual aggressive behavior they had come to know of him.
During class, he was quiet. He wouldn't make an effort to answer any question unless asked, and even then he would barely know the right answer. Ejiro couldn't understand it; Katsuki was a good student, one of the top of their class, helping Ejiro with his homework because he knew that Katsuki was smarter than him, and now he was slacking so much to the point where his grades were faltering.
Katsuki's change in behavior became the most apparent during physical training, though. They had to spar in order to discover each other's weaknesses and strong points, to exploit those and put them to their advantage in battle, and to learn where they still had to work on and grow.
Katsuki didn't lose. Of course he didn't, Katsuki was the type of person that never lost anything. But when paired with Kaminari, Katsuki had only done the bare minimum amount of effort required to take the guy down.
After the exercise his eyes were hollow and sunken, as if extremely exhausted from just a minimal Quirk output. To Ejiro, Katsuki had become a dead man walking.
It only took Katsuki a couple of days before he had started to run late to classes, and only two weeks before he had stopped coming to school altogether. It made Ejiro feel sad.
He took out his phone again to see if Katsuki had replied already, but his message hadn't even been read. Ejiro didn't know if Katsuki was simply not looking at his phone, or if he was now ignoring Ejiro altogether.
His fingers glided across the screen as he typed another text, unable to hold himself back from double texting. Hell, if needed, Ejiro would quintuple text. If that's what it took for Katsuki to reply to him, he would text a thousand times in a row, not caring whether he was annoying or not. All he wanted was an answer…
Class simply seemed to drag on, and the more texts he was sending being left unnoticed, the more worried he was starting to get. Whatever phase Katsuki was going through, it was unhealthy and, moreover, bad for his studies and thus his future.
Ejiro decided that if Katsuki hadn't responded by tomorrow, he would go visit, whether the blonde liked it or not.
'Katsuki.' Katsuki opened one eye to look at his mom. 'You have to get up.' He growled. She frowned at him, but didn't say much more. She simply turned away, pushing the curtains open as the sunlight flooded in, blinding Katsuki and waking him up completely.
'You're already late, so I'll let you stay home for today, but you have to get back at some point.' Katsuki pushed himself upright and rubbed the dirt out of his eyes. 'I don't want to.' His mom looked back at him, eyes a mix of pity and concern as well as guilt. Katsuki looked away; he didn't want to make anyone pity him. He didn't deserve it.
'I know things have been hard on you..' Katsuki rolled his eyes and huffed, instantly regretting it; doing such useless things cost him way too much energy. 'But you've always wanted to go to that school, and now you're missing out.'
Katsuki looked away, his head hanging low. 'I know that,' he mutters back. 'I just can't.' Mitsuki turned around to leave. 'I made breakfast for you, it's on the table.' He glanced up at her before she left.
Pushing himself to his feet cost him extreme amounts of effort. His feet dragged across the floor as he made his way down. As he entered the kitchen he turned to look at the clock and noticed that it was already 1pm.
On the dinner table there was a bowl with miso soup; a typical meal for people who felt sick. Katsuki wasn't really sick, he simply felt miserable. Still, he was glad she made it.
He picked it up and dropped down onto the couch as he flipped through the channels, putting on some anime he had never heard of, not really interested to notice at what was going on. The soup was already lukewarm, which was nice because this way he couldn't burn his mouth.
Even though he was sure it tasted fine, to him it tasted bland. Still, he forced himself to eat even if he wasn't hungry, knowing that he'd perish for sure if he kept up his attitude of listening to his body rather than his brain.
He reached out to his phone that was still lying on the coffee table. As he opened it he already knew what to expect: 27 new messages. All of them came from Ejiro.
Katsuki liked that his friend was worried about him, and he really wanted to reply and let him know that he was okay - cause he was. Katsuki was okay. He was just struggling. Nothing he couldn't handle in the end – but it just took him so much effort to read through all the texts, and he couldn't come up with a good reply, so he always just left it on read.
The messages had been accumulating since yesterday morning. Katsuki had only taken the effort to drag himself out of bed to wash up and then went back to sleeping; the amount of sleep he had just never seemed to be enough after all.
After finishing the soup and putting the bowl back down, he crashed and lied down on the couch, staring blankly at the TV as he tried to stay awake. He knew he was ruining his sleeping schedule like this, but he simply couldn't fight the exhaustion, and it didn't take long before he drifted off again.
Ejiro was nervous as he stood in front of Katsuki's house. Katsuki had left him on read yet again, and he just really didn't know what to do. Should he have called beforehand to ask if it was okay to come over? Call his parents to ask if anything was wrong? Ejiro just didn't know.
With hand slightly trembling, he reached out and pressed the doorbell. He stood there, butterflies fluttering around in his stomach making him feel sick, as he waited for the door to open. He waited. And waited. And waited.
He was about to ring the bell again when he heard something shuffling behind it and the door opening. As Katsuki noticed who was standing in front of him, he narrowed his eyes.
Ejiro couldn't believe that it was Katsuki standing in front of him. His eyes seemed to lack all signs of life and ferocity they used to have. The blonde hair sticking out of Katsuki's head was even messier than it usually was, sticking out in places it shouldn't be. His clothes all seemed crumpled and like they hadn't been changed in days. 'Katsuki,' he muttered.
'What do you want?' Katsuki snarled. Ejiro wasn't fazed by it. 'You didn't respond to any of my messages.' Katsuki looked away, his cheeks turning slightly red. He had wanted to reply, he really did.
'Sorry.'
The knot in Ejiro's tight tightened. Katsuki never apologized for anything. 'Are you okay?' Katsuki raised his hand and scratched the back of his head, gaze fixated on the ground. 'I'm not sure.'
Katsuki turned on his heel, going back into the comfort of his own home, leaving Ejiro at the doorstep. Katsuki had left the door open, so Ejiro assumed it was okay to follow. He softly closed the door behind him.
'Do you want to talk about it?' Ejiro tried as he followed Katsuki into the living room where he was pouring himself a glass of water. Katsuki just shook his head. Ejiro couldn't help him if he didn't want to talk about what was bothering him, even though he really wanted to.
He eyed up Katsuki from head to toe. His entire form seemed lifeless and empty. Almost as if he had given up. It sent chills down Ejiro's spine.
'Maybe you should talk to someone else. Someone more qualified.' Katsuki shot him the nastiest glare he could muster with what little energy he had left. 'I'm not going to a fucking shrink.' His mum had already tried to convince him to go back multiple times, but he wasn't feeling up for it. Besides, that damn woman hadn't helped him with anything, anyways. Why would she be of help now?
Ejiro brought his hand to his chin as he thought for a moment. 'Then how about someone that's not a shrink?'
Katsuki raised an eyebrow at him as he downed the glass of water. 'What the fuck are you talking about.'
Ejiro gently reached out and took Katsuki's wrist as he guided him away from the kitchen. 'Just trust me.'
Katsuki sighed with nearly every step he took. It had taken Ejiro great amounts of effort to coax him into some actual clothes and get his hair combed out – as far as that was useful – and to get him to go outside.
Katsuki had complained about it with every step they took, yet he didn't turn around and go back home. To Ejiro, that was a good sign.
When they rounded a corner again, Katsuki halted. It took Ejiro a while before noticing that his entourage wasn't following him anymore, and went back as he saw Katsuki's pale face. Katsuki could see the place clearly, the cemetery where Izuku laid. He didn't know what to expect when Ejiro had taken him outside, but certainly not this.
'How did you..' Katsuki started. 'I called your mom when you were dressing up. I thought it might be good for you to talk to him.' Katsuki grit his teeth. 'How can I talk to him, he's fucking dead.'
'Just, trust me.' Katsuki glanced up and saw the sincerity in Ejiro's eyes. Ejiro reached out and took his hand, guiding them gently towards the cemetery.
They had to weave through a couple of rows before making it to Izuku's stone. Ejiro placed Katsuki there, staring at the name carved into the grey stone slab before him. He took a couple of steps back as he watched.
Katsuki stared. He didn't know what Ejiro expected him to do. To have an outburst? To talk his feelings out? Katsuki wasn't the type for that. Growing tired, he sat down, crossing his legs, as he continued staring at the final resting place of his childhood friend.
He reached out, touching the cold stone. He remembered when he came here to scream at him for hiding his depression. Katsuki smirked. Guess he was in the same boat now.
'You're an idiot, you know,' Katsuki said, softly. 'Giving your biggest idol a suicide note.' Katsuki chuckled again as he arched his back. 'Well, I was your biggest idol too, and you gave me one as well. Guess it's just how you are.'
Katsuki leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees. 'How did you deal with all of this?' It was a stupid question. Izuku had committed suicide, that's how he dealt with it. It wasn't on Katsuki's to do list, though.
'I've seen the notes in your stupid notebooks. You've been like that for ages, and yet you didn't tell anyone. I didn't tell anyone either, but they somehow noticed. I suppose I have better friends than you did…' Realization sinks in for Katsuki. 'I suppose Ejiro is a better friend to me, than I was to you.'
He whips his head back and takes a deep breath. 'Honestly, I have so much shit about you that I could sit here for hours, and that's just our childhood!' He looked at the stone as if it would talk back, but of course it wouldn't.
Yet, Katsuki could imagine in his mind the conversation they'd have. About Izuku pouting, fake pouting, getting angry and crying. With Katsuki screaming, and laughing. As if they were together again. As if never separated.
Ejiro stood a couple of feet away, looking at Katsuki that was arguing more to himself than to anyone else, and somehow, it was therapeutic.
Doing this had been a shot in the dark, and Ejiro was afraid he had screwed up by the way Katsuki's face had gone pale upon seeing the place, but he was glad he took him there anyway. Seeing Katsuki talk like that, getting his feelings off his chest, it made Ejiro feel a little relieved too.
Even though this was nowhere by far a solution to Katsuki's new problem, it was a start, and that was all they needed.