You awake with a start, the lights too bright, and the voices too loud. You can't see, can't hear. It's deafening, blinding. It's too much, all too much. You want it to stop, want for your brain to figure out what the hell is going on. You feel empty, alone. Like you're falling and can't stop. You don't want to fade away, you won't, you can't. There's a panicked voice beside you, high and thrill, barking orders as you hear someone sobbing. It almost sounds like…
"Can you hurry up!? Surely you can go faster. We don't have time to stick to rules"
"But ma'am, I can't just-"
"-Do it! I have her stabilised, but I don't know for how long. If her accelerator gives out, we'll lose her for good!"
Angela's voice is harsh and sharp, her commands being directed at…someone? The bright lights start to dim as you blink slowly, it's obvious that you're on an airship, probably being carried towards the Gibraltar HQ once again. You can see the low dim glow of your accelerator, it becoming apparent there's something wrong with it. All you can hear is the soft hum of the engine, and you find your eyes closing again, your consciousness fading slowly until-
"Emily…I know you're upset, but if you don't tell me what happened, you'll have to tell Winston or the captain. Surely telling me is the easiest option?"
You hear Emily take a small shaky breath, it breaking as she sobs towards the end of it. "I…oh god I don't- I don't think I can"
She sounds so broken, so sad, nothing like your Emily. Your happy and amazing Emily, who you love so so much. You want to tell her it's okay, but you can't force your eyes open long enough to even try concentrate on her. Not that you want to. Emily doesn't cry, and you hate to see her when she does. You want to say something, do anything to make her feel better, but your mind is foggy, it takes you several seconds to even remember why you're here in this situation. And when you remember, you feel a sharp sting right in your chest. You should have known really, loving someone like Widowmaker could only end badly.
You hear Angela sigh, and her footsteps as she takes, what you guess are, a few steps towards Emily. Emily's soft sobs soften slightly as Angela shushes her. You feel completely powerless just lying here, your mind struggling to keep up with anything that's going on. You guess that's due to the blood loss, or your stupid life saving device not doing its job properly. It's more likely to be the blood loss though, since Angela won't have been able to stop the bleeding entirely, thanks to her limited supply of nano tech. Angela has always been confident in her medical abilities, but you see that confidence falter more and more with her lack of proper tech.
"Leibling, Emily" you hear Angela say softly. "You know you can't be held accountable for what happened. Neither you nor Lena will get in trouble for this. If it was a Talon attack, we need to know"
There's a tense silence, and using all your will, you manage to force your eyes open. It takes you a moment, but you manage to lazily focus on Emily's face. Her eyes are puffy, and although she seems calm, she's shaking ever so slightly. You've never seen her this upset in all the time you've known her.
She looks into Angela's eyes, and honestly, she looks broken. The look reminds you of how someone else's eyes usually look, and that just brings back the stabbing in your heart. She exhales shakily, looking like she might speak, but then doesn't. Angela lays a hand on Emily's and says her name to try get her to talk, but Emily interrupts her.
"Okay…yes, it was Talon, I think. I just found her like that though, I don't know who-"
"-Emily, I think you do know" Is all Angela says, her eyes colder now, looking almost…angry? She has that look she gets when she's proved right and hates it. But why would she? Why does she have that look unless…
"Hey, Angie, leave 'er alone will ya" you manage to say, your throat dry and your head reeling.
"Lena!?" Emily asks, a bit too loudly for your liking and you wince. She rushes over and just looks at you with tears still swelling in her eyes. She looks a lot of things, upset obviously, maybe a little bit angry, but most of all she looks relieved.
"You're awake" Angela says, her eyes softer than before, but you can tell there's still something on her mind.
You hum at her, not daring to try sit up as you know both of them will pounce on you. "Them Talon bastards got me pretty good"
"It…it was Talon then?" Emily asks, her hand tightening around yours with an almost desperate look in her eyes. You know exactly what she's asking, she's asking if Widow did this to you. You thought you'd have no problem answering her, have no problem telling her that the assassin hurt you again…but this time it's different. You don't want to, not only because your pride and feelings are hurt, but also because you know it's going to break Emily's heart. She's put so much into this, so much time and effort and emotion, and it could all easily be torn away by your next words.
Angela's eyes narrow at you slightly, probably because of how conflicted you look over the simple question. You know she's figured it out, or figured something out anyway. She knows this isn't just a normal Talon attack. It occurs to you that she could actually be thinking a lot worse than you think. That you're in affiliation with Talon and have betrayed Overwatch. But she knows you'd never do that, knows very well you'd rather die than work for them. But by the look she's giving you now, you're not so sure.
"Care to tell us what happened, Lena?" Angela asks, her voice low, and by the way she says your name you know you're definitely in trouble. It's the way she sounded when she confronted you about the Widowmaker file, and that was one of the scariest experiences you've had with her.
"They caught be by surprise is all Angie. Was out on the rooftops for a bit of fun, 'nd suddenly this bullet wizzes past me, and I'm like what? Was just some Talon guys and I should have been able to take them, but they got me, and like I couldn't recall. I was stupid that's all, it wasn't anything bad"
Angela doesn't look convinced at all, she looks to Emily who Is trying her hardest to just look away "…So Talon only sent foot soldiers, even after Reaper's threat? That doesn't seem like them"
"It's a weird time for them luv, they just got their asses kicked by us a few days ago. Everythin' is probably all out of sync 'nd that"
Angela sighs deeply, bringing a hand up to rub her temples before she meets your eyes, looking more serious than you've ever seen her before. "Lena, you must tell me the truth"
"I am! Why would I lie to you?"
"Because you've been so secretive and just…just not yourself lately Lena. You have to understand how this looks"
"No I haven't, luv. I've just bene busy and-"
"-Dr. Zeigler? T minus 10 minutes until arrival" The airships captain says over the intercom, thankfully managing to interrupt you and stop the tense situation. Angela takes a deep breath and nods, obviously trying to calm herself down.
"I'm sorry leibling…I…I'm having trouble at the moment with some things, I shouldn't be taking it out on you. How is your pain?"
You don't know what to say, what to even think. You know you shouldn't be lying to Angela, she's one of your best friends and yet -and yet you can't tell her. You've already gone over this, you know what you're doing is wrong. But you definitely can't tell her now, it will cause way more trouble than it's worth. Although knowing Widow has a kill switch is really, really useful information, you know you can't tell anyone without revealing just how close you've gotten to the enemy. God, you're so stupid for thinking this would ever end well.
"Hurts like hell luv, can't recommend getting' shot" you finally say, trying to keep up your usual attitude although your head is fuzzy. You're struggling to keep your eyes open again and you can see the panic evident on Emily's face when you nearly fall unconscious again. But you manage to force your eyes open still.
"sleep leibling, we'll talk more later" Is all Angela says, still looking conflicted but obviously putting on a front so Emily doesn't panic. You trust her, of course you do, but you're not sure you want to go to sleep. Mostly because when you wake up again, you know exactly the sort of things you'll be asked. But you don't have much of a choice, even if you wanted to stay awake you can't.
As you slip into unconsciousness, the only thought on your mind is you hope Widow is having a better time than you are. She shot you, you should really hold some sort of resentment towards her, but you can't. God, you just really hope she's okay.
You seem to fade in and out of consciousness, catching bits of odd conversation but nothing really sticks with you. You hear Emily crying, Winston's worried voice, and of course Angela barking more orders. You know you shouldn't be feeling this delirious and…well weird from just a simple gunshot wound. You have a feeling some more damage must have been done. You just hope to every god that it won't cause you to fade away again. Panic ripples through you at the thought, but your mind isn't aware enough for the emotion to fully form. Things come to you in snippets, you can't focus on anything for very long.
"Angela, if she's telling the truth, you know what this means"
Winston's voice wakes you again. You don't know how much time has passed, but you find yourself feeling more grounded. Your eyes flutter open and you realise you're in the medical bay. Last time you opened your eyes you weren't here…or maybe you were? You can't tell what's a dream and what's real. Your head still feels messed up, but for some reason you know this is real and you're here now. You blink lazily, watching Angela and Winston standing by the door, facing away from you. You're trying to figure out what they're talking about when Angela answers him with an irritated sigh.
"Of course I do Winston. Do you think I wanted to hear it?"
"No- no, of course not. It's just…Lena is smarter than that, isn't she?"
Your name makes your ears prick up of course…but you don't understand what they're talking about. It crosses your mind that they could be talking about Widow but, but they don't know. You remember Angela acting strangely on the airship, how she seemed to be cold and conflicted when Emily said she didn't know what happened. You thought maybe she'd figured everything out…but then she wouldn't be talking about this like she's been told the information by someone.
"You know her better than anyone. She's impulsive and reckless. This is the sort of thing we knew would happen eventually"
Winston pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, shaking his head slowly. "I can't believe I believed her…"
"We all did Winston…but I don't think she did it on purpose. I questioned her about her involvement with Ame-" She stops abruptly, her eyes widening. Winston looks at her almost sadly, moving to touch her shoulder but she turns away from him slightly. "With- with Widowmaker. Lena lied, but I knew something was wrong, she had this look in her eye. Thank god Emily has some common sense"
It dawns on you then exactly what's happened. You need them to stop talking right now, you don't want to hear this. You don't want to hear their disapproving comments, what they think about all this. They don't understand, they never could. You know exactly what they're going to say when they realise you're awake, but you don't care. Your head can't take this just now, you need to let them know what you thought you were trying to do. Although that's a bit difficult now as you have no clue what the hell you were even trying to do. Rescuing her was one mission, the reality you've found both yourself and Emily in is a whole other.
"She said she had no clue Widowmaker could be so dangerous, that she was kind to them both…I find it hard to believe that Talon's famous assassin could have been kind to anyone. She was so upset when she finally told me everything that I didn't want to lecture her…but, if Lena won't protect her, she needs to protect herself and be wary of Overwatch's enemies"
"…If what Emily is saying is really true though-"
"-Then we have much bigger problems, yes" Angela says, her eyes glancing in your direction then doing a double take as she sees you're awake. Winston looks over too, just staring for a moment before looking at Angela. Angela looks like a deer in headlights with her eyes wide as if she's just been caught doing something she shouldn't be. Winston coughs uncomfortably, looking away as if he's trying to find an escape, or at least something to talk about since he knows they've been caught talking about you. Angela is the first to talk, her composure coming back as she approaches your bed.
"You're awake again, good" Is all she says, glancing back at Winston as if telling him to come closer. He takes the hint, hurrying over.
"Ah yes, very good. Your accelerator was damaged, and it was a bit touch and go for a while, but everything seems to be in working order now. You must have taken quite the hit to it by…uh…" he trails off, obviously not wanting to overstep his mark.
"Thanks, big guy, doc…you guys are too good to me" You say softly, not meeting either of their gazes. They're both looking at you with this look of pity you know all to well. You all know what needs to be said, it's just a question of who will say it first. You should really explain everything, or at least try to. But you can't, you don't know where to even begin. Especially since you've gotten Emily involved. You know you shouldn't have, and look what's happened because of it.
"Lena…we need to talk to you" Winston says, his gaze fixed on you with a new look in his eye. He seems serious, not like his normal goofy self. It scares you a bit honestly, or maybe what's scaring you is having to admit what you're feeling to your two best friends.
"I'm assuming you heard us before but- but we need to talk about it. None of the higher ups have heard about this-"
"-Although we definitely should be telling them" Angela butts in, her words practically venom with the way she says them. Her eyes are cold and distant, you've never seen her look like this. You guess it's because you've betrayed her trust…you've betrayed both of them though, haven't you? You and Emily were too wrapped up in saving Widow that the consequences didn't seem to matter.
"…Yes, as Angela says, we should be telling them…but we won't, for now." Winston sighs, hesitating for a moment before looking into your eyes. "Emily told us everything"
"Winston, big guy." You start to say, the hurt in his eyes breaking your heart in two. You have no clue what to say, how to even begin explaining yourself. You try to open your mouth to say something, anything, but Angela beats you to it.
"Everything Lena, she told us everything that's happened the last few months. How you've been meeting up with her- the enemy. We trusted you Lena. We warned you about her, and you do this! I just- I…leibling…how could you do this to us?"
You should feel regret, or at least some sort of resentment with how hurt Angela looks. But instead you feel angry, really really angry. She doesn't understand, all she knows about Widow is that she was brainwashed and now kills people. She hasn't seen her the way you or Emily have seen the assassin these last few months. You've never felt the urge to lash out at Angela, but you really want to now.
"I didn't do it to hurt ya!" You find yourself shouting, your face feeling hot with rage. "I noticed there was somethin' wrong and tried to help!"
Angela just rolls her eyes, looking at you as if you're a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum. "Joining, or at least plotting with the enemy, is not helping anyone Lena"
"Oh for fucks sake! I didn't join Talon or anythin'! She was hurting, wanted me to kill 'er and I tried to help, is that so wrong Angie!?"
She looks taken aback, as if finally, something has made sense to her. Maybe this reminds her of how she used to be, so confident and full of hope for everyone. She thought she could fix any problem, fix anyone. Widow proved her wrong on that. "You should have come to see me. You should have told me about it then I- I could have-"
"-Could 'ave done what exactly? 'm not stupid, I know what you would have done!"
"She's the enemy Lena, and with what she's done. She killed her husband, killed countless people including Mondata. You've fought her many times, you know how dangerous she is!"
"But Angie-"
"-No Lena, there are no buts here. You put yourself in danger, put Overwatch in danger. I can't believe you could be so careless. What about Emily, did you even consider what this meant for her, for her safety? She could have been-"
"-Killed? What like Gerard? Like everyone else? And who's fault is that exactly? Who said she was fine in the first place!?"
There's a stunned silence in the room. You thought Angela would have shouted back at you, would have at least told you off, but she's just standing there white as a sheet. You know you shouldn't have said it, you know letting Amelie kill Gerard and become Widowmaker is Angela's biggest regret. But…you kind of had to say it. Not to upset Angela, but to maybe make her think on this differently. She's always had a high moral compass and likes to define things as black and white, but when it comes to Widow, there will always be that morally grey area. She isn't good or bad, maybe she's a bit of both, or maybe she's neither. Angela simply can't put this issue into one of her neat little boxes, because there will never be a simple solution.
"That's enough, both of you" Winston finally says, cutting through the tension and drawing both of your attentions to him. He sighs deeply, looking so disappointed and upset as he meets your eye.
"We trusted you Lena, we trusted Emily too. And if you meant to or not, you both betrayed us. If Talon hadn't attacked you, then we would have had bigger concerns that you were on their payroll…We know you Lena, we know you wouldn't betray us. But this- this is something serious"
"I…" You can't find the words to say, the regret finally catching up to you as you see how upset they both look with you. You love them both so much, they're your best friends, and you never meant to hurt them. "'m really sorry, it's just…I just wanted to help 'er guys. I didn't mean to hurt you"
Winston sighs again, taking out a tablet looking device and tapping the screen a few times "I have to write an official report on this. Anything about the fight you want to tell me?"
You know you have nothing else to lose so you tell him. The whole and entire truth instead of the lie you've been rehearsing. You thought it would make things better, but it just seems to make both him and Angela more distraught. You don't know if it's the news of Widow having a kill switch, or the fact you've admitted to letting a Talon assassin live in your flat with you and your girlfriend…or what that implicates.
Winston makes a few final notes before giving you a look. His eyes are dull, and he has a frown permanently on his face. "I need to file this report. I won't write all the details because of the circumstances…But just know Lena…if this ever happens again, I won't be so kind" and with that he leaves, leaving you and Angela in an unbearably tense silence.
"I…I'm sorry, luv" You find yourself saying, catching both you and Angela off guard. You realise you're being an asshole, and incredibly selfish. After admitting to all this you have to try make things at least a little bit right.
Angela looks like she wants to say something, but her face crumbles and she bows her head. "I am being unfair Lena, I've always been unfair on you when it comes to your attachment to Widowmaker…it's my own issue, my own stubbornness and fear stopping me from seeing your point of view. You've always seen the good in her, and I never believed you. The night she murdered Gerard has haunted me for a long time, I've never been able to see past what she did"
"'m sorry Angie" you mumble, having no clue what to say to her. On one hand you should be delighted she actually understands your point of view, but on the other, she's admitting she has this deep trauma stuff you can't even begin to help her with.
"It's okay leibling…I just" She pauses, her gaze finally meeting yours again. "Just help me understand one thing?"
"Yeah, luv?" you answer softly, trying to sound as much like your old self as you can, but it doesn't carry. You can't be the happy Tracer who cheers everyone up now, not with what you've just caused.
"You love her- and you love Emily. You love them both, don't you?"
"I…I don't know luv" You answer honestly. "I just wanted to help 'er, and with Emily with me we felt unstoppable. I thought we could save 'er and everything would be fine…I don't know what everything else means"
She looks conflicted, like something is weighing heavily on her mind. "You…You would do anything to protect them both, wouldn't you?"
"Without question. Emily is my entire world, and Widow…Widow is something else" You pause, trying to figure out what Angela is trying to say with all this. "…Angie, you're sayin' this like you know what you're talking about"
She smiles then, this tiny little sad smile that you can see the heart break within. "I would have done anything for her back then too"
You're in the med bay for all of two days thanks to Angela's tech and ability, and it's bittersweet when you get out. Emily has kept her distance, sending messages to you through Angela as she seems to be a bit cautious on how to handle everything. Angela has tried to reassure you this is perfectly normal, and Emily is being smart by staying away. After all, you're both being watched very closely in case you really are with Talon. As much as you've liked having Angela's company for the last few days you can't wait to finally see Emily again. You know you may be being watched closely, but they can't expect you two not to want privacy in your room together.
With a slight skip in your step you make your way to your room, your mind on how much you've missed Emily. Widow also comes to mind, just fleeting thoughts wondering if she's okay. The more you admit to yourself that you feel something for her, the easier it is to stop punishing yourself for thinking of her. You miss her, and you're worried about her, but somehow you feel she's alright. If anything terrible had happened, surely Sombra would have found a way to contact you. She seems like she could track you down and give you a talking to, no matter where you are.
You're so lost in your thoughts that you don't see Jack Morrison standing in your way with his arms crossed, before it's nearly too late. If you were any normal person you would have crashed into him, but you quickly blink backwards, giving him your best cheeky smile and hoping he isn't about to give you a lecture.
"Hiya Captain" You say with a grin, pushing any negative feelings away and putting on your best façade. He knows what happened, of course he does, and you don't want to appear off to him, and give him anything else to think on.
"Oxton" he says coolly, his usual professional tone present as always. He seems to hesitate for a moment before he speaks again "I've just read Winston's final report, Talon used a kill switch in Widowmaker then?"
"Yup, terrifying stuff luv. She was all out of control an' that"
He purses his lips, looking to be in thought before he speaks again. "And how do you know what she's like normally, Oxton?"
The grin falls from your face then "…what"
"You were quoted saying she wasn't acting like herself. And then, just there, you said she seemed out of control. You've only seen her on the battlefield during missions, where all she's done is cause havoc and kill people. I wouldn't say that's normal?"
"Captain, c'mon, you're over doin' it a bit 'ere. I just meant she wasn't acting all arrogant and stuck up like normal. Seemed hell bent on killing me"
The look on his face tells you he doesn't believe you one bit. It seems he's a bit too clued in on this, even if Winston did leave out the fact your relationship with Widowmaker is personal, he seems to know it's more than the report lets on.
You shuffle from one foot to the other awkwardly, looking at the floor and trying to figure out how to get away from this. "Look, captain, I gotta go to Em, she's waitin' for me-"
"-And how did you escape Widowmaker exactly?"
"I really 'ave to-"
"-Answer the question Oxton, that's an order"
You hesitate, not liking how he's looking at you at all. There's a look you can't read on his face, and for the first time in your life, you actually feel a bit scared of him. You don't really want to tell him exactly how it all happened, about how she managed to fight off whatever they'd done to her long enough to let you get away, long enough to take herself off somewhere were she couldn't hurt you. If you told him that, then he'd definitely know your relationship with her is a bit more than rivals.
"I…I got away, luv. Surely that's not important"
He just gives you a pointed look. "She's been brainwashed to believe her only purpose in life is to kill, so why would she suddenly let you live, unless she wanted you to"
"Captain-"
"-Oxton" to your surprise he doesn't look angry. He looks uneasy sure, but you think that might be because of what he's about to say. "We've all found comfort in dark places, but with an enemy, it's dangerous, traitorous, nothing good ever comes out of it"
The tone he uses suggests that he's talking from experience, that maybe he's been in a situation like yours, and he made the same mistake. Although you doubt it was in a situation quite as strange as yours, or even quite as dangerous. Although it does make you curious to who he's 'found comfort in' in the past.
"Sir…There's nothin' like that going on. I knew there was a threat and so was on watch then she turned up. Widowmaker's never been one to fight like that, she's always cocky an' that, always taunting at me an' keepin' her distance"
He nods, but it's like he's not even listening to you. Just thinking of the next point of his lecture. "Don't make a mistake other good soldiers have, do not ever trust the enemy"
You're starting to get really tired of everyone telling you she's dangerous, and the enemy, and that you shouldn't even be near her. They don't know her, they have no idea what she's really like when she isn't completely under Talon's control.
"C'mon Captain, she can't be that bad" you say, trying to calm yourself down and defuse the situation a little. You want to joke and smile until everything is okay, but he just looks at you sternly, seemingly finding what you've just said the worst thing imaginable.
"She is an enemy of Overwatch who has killed several important political figures. She killed one of our own agents, her husband of all people, Oxton. When we tell you she's dangerous, we're telling you because we know, we lived through it"
"You lived through Talon first gettin' too her, you ever think that she's different now!?"
He seems as taken aback by your anger as you are. You realise too late that you shouldn't have said that, especially given what that implies. "And do you think you know her now, really? You fight her to help your team, you know nothing about her. She's evil, and will never be able to redeem herself"
"You don't know that!"
"Face reality Oxton, You're not the super hero you think you are, you cannot save her"
You can't take it anymore, you're so angry that you want to rip out his throat. Everyone keeps saying how dangerous she is and how wrong it is, but they don't even listen when you tell them she isn't like that at all. You know it's childish, but you want to get away, and so you do. You zip past him quickly, darting to your room and only stopping to reflect on what you've done when you stop to open the door. You're probably be in trouble for running off while talking to a superior, but you don't care. You just want to see Emily, she understands all these stupid things you're feeling.
You sigh, deciding to push it all to the back of your mind and get some well-deserved cuddles from your girlfriend. The door to your bedroom opens with a small beep when you scan your card and step inside. Emily is lying on your bed, a book in hand which she lowers, her face lighting up when she sees it's you.
"Lena, finally!" she grins, putting her book aside and getting up to hug you tightly. You hug her back, burying your face in her neck with a happy sigh.
"God, missed you Em"
She giggles softly, pulling back from you a little, so she can place a soft kiss to your forehead. "Missed you too, been bored out my mind here"
"Yeah, thought ya might be…is work ready to kill you for missin' all your shifts?"
"Nah, just taking it as sick pay. They don't really care"
You smile at her, the familiar happy buzz in your chest from hearing her just talk about something as boring as work. She's always had this effect on you, you're glad she still does after everything you've both been through these last few months.
"Was worried this would be weird" you half mumble to yourself, not really sure you want her to hear it, but from the way she stops talking and looks at you strangely, you know she definitely has heard you.
"Weird? Why would it be weird?" she asks gently, her eyes meeting yours with a strange look in them. She looks concerned, maybe even a bit confused at what you could mean. You think you see a hint of worry in there, but you can't be sure.
"I don't know, all the weird secrecy an' That. You know, with all the messages with Angie an' stuff"
"I did it so they didn't catch on to anything…they're already worried enough" She says with a shrug, giving your arm a little squeeze. "…and honestly, I needed a bit of time to myself, to get my thoughts sorted out, hopefully you had that time too?"
You want to tell her that it's alright and of course you expect her to be freaked out by this. She found you bleeding to death on a rooftop and had to call Overwatch to come help. You'd be surprised if she didn't need some time to herself after that. You really do want to just say it's fine and move on…but you can't. You remember the feeling of dread in your stomach when Winston told you Emily had told them everything. You know logically she had too, or she just wasn't in the right mindset to hide your secrets forever, but that doesn't stop you feeling hurt. Maybe you're being selfish or unreasonable, but you don't understand why she did it. You guess it was because she was scared and upset, but before she seemed just as hell bent on keeping this a secret as you were. You don't know what to say to her, but you know you have to say something, just so you don't overthink all this.
"…Why did you tell them?"
Emily just looks at you for a moment before she bites her lip and averts her eyes. "Len…I had to. They kept questioning me they- I couldn't lie to them forever"
You know she was going to say something like that, but you're not really expecting it. You thought she would be more loyal, to you and to Widow. It seemed all so good before this…so why did she do it. Although you really should be sympathetic, and telling her you forgive her, you can feel that same rage building that you felt earlier.
"You could 'ave Em. You're supposed to be protectin' Widow, not throwin' her to the wolves"
She takes a step back from you, looking somewhere between amused and annoyed as she raises an eyebrow at you. "Overwatch are wolves now? I thought they were your friends?"
You're taken aback by her tone, she rarely talks to you like this. You haven't fought that many times with Emily, she's mostly very chill, but when you have fought she's sounded a lot like this. "They are, of course they are. I just mean- we said we wouldn't tell them, that they couldn't help 'er"
Emily chooses her next words carefully, her eyes staying on yours like she's trying to drill what she's saying into your head. "They…they really aren't the bad guys here…if anything, she is"
"What?" you ask, thinking you must have misheard her. She always defended Widow no matter what, always said she was good really.
"She tried to kill you Lena, she would have succeeded if I hadn't found you"
"No she wouldn't, I was okay. You- Em you don't get it, you didn't see what I saw"
"And what exactly was that? What did she do that you're still defending her?"
"They used their control over 'er against me, she was fine one minute, then the next she was tryin' to kill me. She wasn't herself she was…it was like she wasn't there. But she stopped herself, told me to run an' saved my life"
Emily shakes her head violently, looking more and more upset the more you tell her. "No- no we can't trust her then. If they still have control over her, we're not safe"
"But they don't, it was a kill switch in her head. If we get rid of it she'll be fine, she'll be-"
"-And what if it doesn't work? I…I hate to say it Len…but if it doesn't work, we can't help her. We can't help her if she's under their control in any way"
You know she's right, but you can't help but feel angry. It was supposed to be you two against the world, saving Widow no matter what. And now what? She's giving up because of one little thing. You know it's a big thing to be considered, but you can't give up on her because of it. You're too invested …you thought Emily was too.
"You said you wanted to save her, why don't you now? You were her best friend, defending her against everything, and now you're acting like she's completely evil"
"She nearly killed you Lena! She's dangerous. I should have listened to them…" Emily snaps, her voice loud and sharp as she raises her voice.
"How can you give up on her like this? you were all about saving her and getting her away from Talon, and now you're sounding just like Winston and Angie! I thought you were the one person I could trust Em!"
She opens her mouth to reply, but stops, closing it again and looking away. "You can trust me, of course you can. It just- It actually makes sense now. I was stuck in this stupid fantasy land with you, believing we could redeem her" she says, getting angrier and angrier as she speaks, finally looking at you with fire in her eyes "And look where it's gotten us Lena!"
You know you should stop, should apologize, and move on before you say something you can't take back. But you can't, the rage inside you getting bigger and bigger with each passing second. You're angry, oh so angry at everyone. No one is listening to you and you're so sick of it
"Everyone keeps saying she's dangerous and a threat, but she isn't! You know that Em, you've seen the good in her, you've seen-"
"-I thought I had. I…I really thought I had seen what you see in her but…but I can't, I just can't. She hurt you Lena, she nearly killed you, and you're still like this" She sighs, bowing her head "What is it going to take to get you to give up?"
There are tears making their way down her cheeks when she meets your eyes again. You feel a stab of pain seeing her like this, but you don't dare stop her when she turns away and goes to leave.
"Em, c'mon, don't be like this" You try to say, it coming out quietly as the adrenaline fades away and the overwhelming ache in your heart settles. You know you've fucked up, you know you shouldn't have said any of those things. "Em, please."
She gives you one last tearful looking before opening the door and running off. You know you could easily catch up to her, but you don't want to. It's better you let her have her space, and you've just proved you definitely need some space of your own to clear your head.
You sigh heavily as you sit on the bed, placing your head in your hands. You feel like you might cry, but you don't, you can't. You just sit there, wondering what the hell you've done. You've managed to push everyone you hold dear away, and for what? For someone who at any time could just turn and try to kill you. You want to believe you can save her, but now you're not so sure.